All language subtitles for Vampires on Bikini Beach

JAY STEPHENS ON RADIO: This is your KKLA news update,

Jay Stephens reporting.

In Venice, California, last night,

a teenage couple was found mysteriously murdered.

There seems to be a hysterical cry

from the Venice residents of vampirism,

which leads us to some speculation

in regard to the current series of murders

in the Southern California area.

In this reporter's opinion,

after reviewing all of the legends concerning vampires,

there are not, there are not the facts to support these stories.

So put your stakes back in your tomato plants,

take that silver bullet out of your gun belt

and put that garlic back in your spaghetti sauce

because there are no such creatures as vampires.

(HOWLING WINDS)

I'm okay, I'm okay.

Bye.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

We certainly didn't mean for this to happen.

We were just having a good time.

What the hell happened?

That day at the beach, we were just cruising.

Just cruising.

What the hell happened?

Thanks.car.

BOB: Hey, ah, Judy Hi.te.

So, what's up, guys?

Just out driving around.

Yeah, the waves are really happening. You want to catch a few?

Hi there, Bob.

Hi, Clarke.

You guThanks. my car.

You guys, it is happening today, the most gorgeous hunks...

You guys.

Get your beach bunny All right!ere.

Let's go, let's go.

Bye. Bye. See you.

Let's go. Whew!

Kim, good going.

Man, if you got it, you might as well use it, girl.

You know it.

What was that all about?

Well, you see, I got this hot little body that guys would just kill for.

But, the only one I'm interested in is you, Bob.

JUDY: He was too cool. What time did you tell Kim we'd have the car back today?

Oh, God, I don't remember. Sometime this afternoon,

we'll just meet her back down at the beach.

(WHOOPING)!

Check you this car. Is that hot or what?

I don't know about you guys, but I got to meet the guy that owns that road sled.

JUDY: Well, we never met any radical dudes,

but we did run into Harold. Weird Harold.

That's what Clark calls him. Harold.

Harold.

Yeah Judy.Harold.

No, no, it's Harold.

No, no, it's Judy.

I guess you didn't recognize me. I met you at Bob's party the other night.

Yeah, I must have had the smoke fogging my eyes.

And my brain.

So, hoGreat.ou doing?

A lot better than you, I guess, huh? You need a lift?

Nah, a couple of more minor adjustments and I should be back on the road.

Where are you guys headed? To or from the beach?

We just got back from the beach. We just finished dropping off a friend of ours.

How about you? You heading for the sun?

Looks like we're headed for a parking lot.

Oh, ah, Clark, Wynette, this is Harold.

I met him at Bob's party the other night.

BOTH: We know.

Hey, if you guys want to go to the beach or talk or something,

we'll catch you later, all right?

We'll come back.

Hey, that would be a great idea.

You need a unique driving experience.

I just got to stop for a newspaper on the way if you don't mind the stop.

Are you kidding? I could make stopping a career in this car.

Let's go. Want to just grab that oth Yeah. for me?

HAROLD: Man, I'm starving. Let's stop for another sandwich.

JUDY: Again? Harold, let's get back to the beach, they're waiting for us.

(WAVES ROARING)

Boy, this sure is weird. Look what happened last night.

Let me see that.

"Police discovered the bodies of two young women in Venice."

It says that their necks were punctured by two vampire-like wounds

and the blood completely drained from them.

You're such a jerk, Harold.

God, there sure are some sickies out there.

Hi.uys.

Hey, what are you reading?

That's that rag with all that stuff about Martians and ghosts, isn't it?

Yeah, but these murders really happened.

He's right. It was in the Times this morning.

KIM: This killing stuff is really making me feel weird.

Can we change the subject?

Hey, you guys, you want to go see Bob play tonight at the "Pawnbroker"?

I can get you in for free, maybe a pitcher of beer.

Sounds like a great night.

Then, we're on.

Goodbye. Bob.

Bye, Bob.

Later, champ.

(BAND PLAYING MUSIC)

(APPLAUSE CONTINUES)

See you later, jerk.

JUDY: For no reason this punker starts up with Harold.

Here is where things start to get pretty weird.

You're really good, Bob.

I'm Thanks.ed.

Hey, I'm glad you guys could make it.

You are really hot on those drums.

Yeah, I love pounding the rhythm.

Harold! Harold! Save it for the stage.

No, thanks.

Grand.

Vodka tonic with a cherry.

One tap okay?

Fine.

Did you guys hear the six o'clock news?

What now? More morbid trash?

I'm sure, Kim, it's not trash.

Another body was found just like the other ones.

Do they let people tour the morgue?

That'd be great to see what the victims look like?

Yeah.

Harold, you are so weird.

Hey, I've just got a natural curiosity.

I mean, wouldn't you like to see a murder victim's body?

I would.

Well See!uld.

Most people would love to see something like that.

But, just too afraid to admit it.

Why do you think people go to see horror films and murder mysteries.

There's a section of our beings that I call gorehounds.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.

I know a lot of people that are just plain ascinated with the grotesque.

Yeah, yeah, it's like the challenge of facing death.

Yeah.

Well, I like the challenge of a good tennis game.

But, the police don't let people tour the morgue, do they?

I don't know. Let's go call and make Yeah.ations.

I apologize for my crazy friend.

No need. Judy's just as bad.

They'll make a great pair.

Are you going to wait for me to finish this gig tonight?

Sure, if you want me to.

I see you have a lot of interested fans already.

Boy, oh, boy, let's talk attitude problem with the LAPD.

I know, how rude!

I mean, especially when you told them there's a vampire loose in the city.

You'd think they would just respond.

You guys better be careful screwing around with the police.

I mean, they don't have a sense of humor when it comes to serial killers.

Yeah, yeah.

Excuse me!

Yes?

Could I have a screaming orgasm?

I doubt it.

(GIRLS SNICKERING)

Master, another flower for your pleasure.

It is a quest I pursue.

It is a life I wish to bestow upon her

and it is a death I wish for myself.

I was born hundreds of years ago,

the seventh son of the seventh son.

By my birthright,

I was to roam eternity.

I have but one path I can travel

if I am ever to know eternal rest,

a path so strewn with evil

and terror that in all those lifetimes

I am still searching for my one means of escape.

One woman

so strong that she will be able to fall deeply in love with me,

all the while knowing that one day she will

have to plunge a stake in the heart of love.

Come to me, my queen.

Be strong.

Be my beloved.

She was not the one.

The moment has sapped even my eons of strength.

Take her,

take her to Demos and let him use her to further

his plan to conquer this world and make it a place where only

tormented souls roam forever.

For if I cannot find rest,

I must live where all are like me.

(WAVES ROARING)

KIM: I love the beach this time of day.

So, how long have you lived in California?

BOB: I was born here.

My Dad came out during World War 2.

He met my mom and she got him to settle down out here.

What about you?

My parents moved out here several years ago.

I've really gotten to love it out here.

I can't imagine growing up any place else.

I suppose California is pretty special.

One day, though,

I'm getting in my jeep and head out across this country.

There's so much of it and I want to see it all.

Yeah, I'm the youngest.

My brother's in construction

and my sister is married back East.

Do you live at home?

No, I left home a few months ago.

Do you live at home?

Yeah, my parents have a place in West L.A.

They're away for a few weeks.

Maybe you'd like to stop over some time?

Sure.

But, want to see my place?

No roommates, real private.

Ah Now?. Mm-hm.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

...to the left. Toss your hair.

Right. Good.

I've never done a photo session before.

That was fun.

You Thanks.eat.

Just give me a minute to, ah, wrap this up. Okay?

Okay. Do you mind if I look around?

No, go ahead.

All these are yours?

Yeah. This is how I make my living.

The music's just a hobby so far.

This was a hobby 'til I made it pay off.

Ah, be back in Okay.te.

You're something. You know that?

Come over here.

Come on.

(CHEERING)

Good. Great.

So, how are you and Bob getting along?

You two just, ah, disappeared into the night last night.

Let's just say we disappeared.

Aren't we secretive?

You were pretty good.

Hi.

It's kind of warm in here. Do you want to get some air?

Sure.

See you guys later.

Those two are getting awfully cozy.

Oh, Clark, don't worry about it.

Well, what do you think?

I really liked it, especially the last song.

Di Yeah.rite it?

Well, I wrote the music and Harold wrote the lyrics.

I loved it.

Does it take you long to write a song?

I don't know. Well, sometimes. But, it depends.

What was that?

I want to check this out.

Do you think we should?

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Kim, wait here.

Bob, let 'em go. It's not worth it.

Damn, I lost those creeps.

Oh, I'm sorry.

We don't usually get weirdos like that around here.

Look, they dropped this.

Looks like some kind of antique book.

Let's go back inside. I feel so spooky out here.

Hey, buddy,

ah, my girl and I just got hassled by a couple

of weirdos just now. I wouldn't go back there.

Hey, don't talk to me, man.

You get my meaning, punk?

Sure. Sorry we messed with you and your date.

Listen,...get the fuck out of here before I rip off your tits.

(LAUGHING)

Come on, Bob, let's get out of here.

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

(INHALES)

I thought I told you to get lost.

You're going to die.

(SCREAMING)

(FOOTSTEPS HEARD)

(DIALING)

Bob, can you come right over.

Something really bizarre just happened. I really need you.

BOB: I'll be right there.

I'll be waiting. Please hurry.

You still haven't told me what's wrong.

I think it was a dream.

It was the book.

I woke up and it just burst into flames.

That's silly.

What the hell!

It's like fire.

Then, I didn't imagine it.

That book is something evil. I can feel it.

Well, there's definitely something weird here.

Well, let's leave that damn thing where it is and we'll go back to my place.

We can decide what to do tomorrow.

Let me just get my stuff.

(SCREAMING)

JUDY: Can you believe it?

Kim and Bob decide to learn more about this burning book.

Now, ah, anyone can tell you that

a burning book is nothing for two fools to deal with.

Ah, excuse me.

Oh, may I help you?

Yeah, um,

could you tell us something about this book.

I'd like to, ah, take it in th Ah, do you have to? it.

I, I'll be just a moment or two.

This stuff is great.

This book is about dead insects that come back to life.

Look at this. Life Among The Space Visitors.

This stuff is weird.

Makes me feel creepy.

Could be something in all this.

What's taking him so long?

Oh, here he comes.

No doubt about it. This is the real McCoy.

Where'd you kids come by this?

Well, we were out behind the club...

Ah, we were out at the auction and, ah,

well, we just thought it would be fun to have.

Oh, fun isn't the word for it.

This book is worth quite a bit of money.

This is a, a real prize you've got here.

Oh, no, no.it?

But, ah, can you tell us something about it?

Well, it's what you call a book of the dead.

It was used by a cult of demon worshippers in the Middle Ages.

That's all I can tell you.

But, ah, this fellow might be able to tell you more.

Now, when you get ready to sell that book,

please check back with me.

It could be worth a lot of money to you kids.

Thanks for the information. We'll keep it in mind.

My pleasure.

Uh, Dr. Gower, please.

I'm Dr. Gower.

You must be the young people referred to me by

Mr. Maxwell from the bookstore.

You're a priest? .

Yes. Will you come up, please?

I was hoping you could help us.

The man at the bookstore told me that you might be able

to decipher some of the symbols in this book.

Mm-hm.

We feel that this book represents something evil.

How would a priest know about this?

And, I must say this book does intrigue me.

This stuff is really scary.

There is no reason to be scared, young lady,

I think we can put an end to these evil happenings.

Leave this book with me tonight.

I have some old reference materials here

that I think will come in handy and relate to it.

Well, come on, Kim.

Thank you Dr. Gower, My housekeeper will show you out now.

Did you guys see what Cindy Jacobs was wearing last night?

It just looked so stupid.

How're you doing?

You guys really missed the excitement last night.

What excitement?

Two more victims in the series of killings.

Yeah, a biker and his girlfriend out behind the bar.

Their heads were like squished together like jelly.

And his girlfriend.

Well, what was that all about?

I don't know.

Look, Bob, I'm scared out of my mind.

We're dealing with something supernatural here.

How should I be taking it?

(DULL SCREAMING)

Have you talked to the doctor?

Ah, doctor says he's into the book

and maybe he can tell us what's happening later.

What did he say about the two murders?

Well, the doctor doesn't know if the book

has anything to do with the murders.

Listen, I should be there in about twenty minutes.

I'll e Okay?it all then.

I'll see you when you get here.

BOB: Great. Bye.

Okay.

What's this?

Just a piece of paper that fell from the book.

And, it's got those same weird symbols.

Bob, you've got to call the doctor.

You're losing it, Kim.

You've got to call the doctor, now. Please.

(BUSY TONE)

JUDY: Bob and Kim, still working solo, decide to see Dr. Gower in person.

But, it, ah, doesn't look as though he's expecting anyone.

There's something wrong here.

The lights are out.

Here's some candles.

Okay, I'm going to find a fuse box.

You Okay.re.

Dr. Gower.

(KIM SCREAMING)

Bob! Get up here. Quick!

Bob, we're got to call the police.

We can't do that.

Remember what they said.

They'd just throw us in the loony bin.

No, we, we got to figure out what the hell is going on.

This is really strange shit.

This isn't something we should fool around with.

The doctor was a pro.

Look at him, he's dead.

Kim, trust me...

What about the book?

Good.ne.

The book's been nothing but trouble anyway.

They must have taken it.

The person or thing that killed Dr. Gower.?

Well, do you think the doctor could have hidden it?

Maybe. Let's look around.

Ki What, what is it?ng.

Notes. Notes from the book, I'm sure of it.

And, look, he's attempted to copy each one of the symbols.

He's, he's made notations by each one.

It's like code busting.

Exactly. The book is the key to what's going on.

I'm sure of it.

How are we going to figure this out?

This is a job for weird Harold.

Let's go.

What's he up to?

HeOh, this I got to see.ets.

What the hell are you up to now?

Hey, what's happening?

This, my friend, is my Star Wars defense system.

We have lift off.

(WHOOPING) Okay, it's just about in position

and...

Ah, shit! There goes three weeks.

Tough luck, Harold.

Yeah, well, back to the old drawing board.

So, what are you guys up to?

We need to talk to you. Um, in private.

Oh. Tammy, you want to leave us alone?

Now, what we're going to say is going to sound crazy.

But, we have some information on the killings.

And, that's what's been happening.

Wow! Spooky stuff.

Yeah, and we need your help.

Now, we can't go to anyone until we know exactly what we're dealing with.

Look, we found these notes at the doctor's house.

Bob was hoping you could figure it out on the computer.

Yeah, maybe I can.

I'll enter these symbols with his observations.

Sure it can be done.

Great.

Be on the lookout for a huge bald man

with a sharp metal shaped hook hand.

Well, this guy is just about to get this girl's pants.

He was kissing her.

They're kissing in the car

and she wants to go home.

Well, understandably, he's bummed.

But, no, she insists she wants to split.

Well, this guy turns on the ignition,

slams into reverse and peels out of there.

And, he takes her home, still pissed...

Then what?

This guy gets out of his car,

walks around to the passenger side,

reaches for the door handle

and there, dangling from the door handle

is a sharp metal hook torn from someone's wrist.

That's scary. That's gross.

It's getting late. We should get out of here.

I got another story.

Wher Getting laid.hil?

Someone should go and get 'em.

It's time to hit the road.

Oh, here's the romantic couple now.

Oh, look, Halloween.

You guys are a bit early, aren't you?

You've pushed this joke a little too far creeps.

(SCREAMING)

Where's Harold?

He and the others should be here soon.

Well, let's just hang out 'til they get here.

You wait here.

I just want to look around.

Bob, be careful.

I'll be okay.

Bob, where are you?

Come back.

I'm scared.

Where the hell are they?

They said to meet them behind the Pawnbroker in the alley.

Well, where are they?

Are you sure they weren't pulling your leg, Harold?

Hey, Bob wouldn't mess with me like that.

He and Kim were scared out of their wits.

Yeah, right, then you must be the one with the practical jokes.

Hey, I don't know about you guys, but this place really scares me.

Well, then, cut out if you want.

They should be here any minute.

Don't get so uptight, all right?

We'll hang with you.

Bob!

Let go of me. Let go, now!

Let's get out of here.

What time is it?

It's two-thirty in the morning.

How much longer do you think we should wait?

Well, if they don't show in a few, we'll leave.

Maybe we should just go now.

I can't believe how many hours we sat in the alley last night.

Thank God Kim called me.

Yeah, he called me this morning.

I mean, I knew he wouldn't stick me on the meeting, you know.

But, I was just afraid something happened to him permanently.

Yeah, I know.

Ah, wasn't that story awful?

I can't imagine how they feel.

I mean, we're tired and everything,

but they must be frozen with fear.

Well, I think they unfroze enough to realize they need

a little balance in their lives right now.

Bob told me Kim was bent on trying to relieve some of the hysteria from last night.

Poor Kim.

Too bad she doesn't have a release like you.

Yeah Food.release?

Food, yeah. Food! Well, it helps me to think, you know.

Helps me to conjure, Release.h...

Yeah, release.

What do you say we release, go get some breakfast.

Sure. I have to meet Kim at the bikini shop later, but I've got all sorts of time.

Okay, let's hit the road, then, and...

BOTH: Release.

What can I get you guys?

Let's see, I am totally starving.

I'll have a, ah, triple burger, orange slush,

large fry, extra ketchup, eh, onion, chili dog with saurkraut and onions, yeah.

What do you want?

What can I get for a nickel?

Hey, I'm starving, all right?

He's always hungry.

Ah, she'll have a double burger, ah, fries and a coke.

Yeah. Let's go sit over here.

In the back?

Yeah, let's sit back there.

There's a couple of things I want to talk to you about.

Are you sure? I mean, before you eat?

Ah, come on, Judy.

You know, Judy, I'm getting really worried about this murder business.

I mean. Bob and Kim came over my house last night.

They stumbled upon some really bizarre information.

I mean, really frightening.

Am I going to be able to eat my burger here

or should I wait?

Hey, come on, I'm serious now.

I mean, I think we can help them.

I know it's doubly important now.

Another murder last night right in the middle of a beach party!

These morons are getting a little too aggressive for my tastes.

You're really concerned, aren't you, Harold?

Yeah. I mean, I hope we have enough food here.

No, I'm serious.

Do you really think you can help them?

Well, if my computer skills are finely tuned,

which I know they are, and with the doctor's notes and the symbols,

ah, I think we have a chance.

You know, well, if I have enough food and you,

I'll take over the world.

Me? If you have me?

Yeah, well, I kind of thought we made a good pair.

Did I have my signals crossed?

Green lights over here.

Green lights all the way.

See, same size.

We just ate.ger.

Let's roll. I better get you over to the bikini shop.

(BAND PLAYING SONG)

(APPLAUSE)

This seat taken?

I've been saving it for you.

If you really want to go on and find out what the hell is going on,

I'll go with you.

Okay, but we got to look at this as a military operation.

Okay, we're a hundred percent behind you and Kim.

Gather around, monster hunters.

Oh, boy, high adventure.

Okay. Now, I've discovered some interesting facts from the doctor's notes.

It seems the doctor discovered he had vampire...

Book of the dead.

What does that mean?

It's a history book, if you will,

of the vampires through the ages.

It seems the book is a recipe book

on how to bring back all the foul dead throughout history.

Bring back the dead?

Go on, this is getting good.

Okay, the book is a way to resurrect the dead.

There's to be an army from hell to take over the world.

This is fantastic.

Who's in charge of the plan, the leader?

The notes don't say.

Well, did the doctor say how to stop these vampires?

It doesn't look like he had the time.

Looks like this book was pretty important to someone.

Hey, whoever has it now

probably has a mad scheme to use the full power of the book.

Well, what are we going to do now?.

Well, we have to deal with the facts.

We don't have the help of anyone.

We got That's crazy.ok back.

Bob's right.

I'm not much into black magic,

but I do know the book holds some type of power.

And, in the wrong hands, it could be bad news.

We've got one more set and then let's all meet at my place.

Okay.

Take me to him.

Why?

Master.

What have you brought me from the world of the living?

Master, here is the fire of hell

and I bring you the passion of love.

Drink, my master.

You have done well this time, my Demos.

DEMOS: Thank you. Master.

Now, what is this I hear of the mortal ones that escaped.

Nothing, Master.

Your eyes and ears has reported nothing that should alarm you.

Just two young kids that will die.

The girl,

I want her brought to me.

She will be mine.

You may leave.

Come to me, my beauties

I will give you the kiss of eternal love.

The best time to strike would be in the daytime.

Yeah, it seems the only time they do anything is at night.

Right. Vampires can only move about at night.

I don't think we should wait for anything else to happen.

I want to go now.

All right. I'm going in.

No, you're not.you.

I'm not waiting behind. If they get you, they get me.

Well, okay.

But, remember, we're only going in for the book.

Understood.

Okay, we all have our orders, Captain.

I'm splitting.

Judy, want a ride home?

Yeah, you guys, I'm going with Harold.

Well, we'll see you all later at the gates of hell.

Go Goodnight.body.

Bye.

Where the hell are Clark and Wynette?

Hey, this is pretty heavy stuff.

They probably came to their senses and are at home under their beds.

We can't wait for them.

(RUSTLING)

That's the door.

Oh, I forgot the tools.

Hurry up.

JUDY: We should have never gone back into those tunnels.

If only Clarke and Wynette had waited for us, things might have been different.

This is it.

Okay, you guys got in last night,

we'll get in tonight.

Hurry up, let's go.

You heard the lady.

You sure this isn't an afterhours club?

Real funny, Harold.

Cut the comedy and let's get going.

Everybody stick Yeah.her.

Damn.

This place is just like it was yesterday.

Wait a minute, there's got to be more to this place than this.

There's got to be another way in and out.

(VAMPIRE SCREAMING)

You have brought me fresh humans.

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING)

You little mortal fools.

Where'd he go?

(SCREAMING)

You think you can stop my master's power

of taking over this earth?

Who's your master? We thought you were the king scumbag around here.

Falto, master supreme of the undead,

will take your girlfriend

as his love mate in hell.

You're crazy.

Why don't you just kill us now and get it over with?

You time will come soon enough.

Now, I have work to attend to.

Take them below to the devil.

No. Nobody even knows we're down here.

(GHOULISH LAUGHTER)

Nobody even knows that we are down here.

Are you convinced now that we're not crazy?

I wish you were crazy and we'd all be laughing about this.

We're going to die.

Don't worry, Judy, we'll get out of this somehow.

That maniac up there has got to be stopped.

Anyone can see that his followers are just a bunch of losers.

He's the only one with demonic power.

How do you know that?

I haven't seen anyone else use it other than him.

But, he does talk about his master, Falto.

Oh, great, there's another moron we've got to find,

the master vampire.

We've got to get out of here. The old prison break.

Who's got matches? I need some matches.

I don't smoke.

I got a couple of packs.

Oh, let's have 'em.

I'm making a bomb.?

I'm getting out of here.

Who are you going to use it against?

You hear those punkers outside?

Yeah.

One of us can get out of here with this.

Throw it at their feet and blow those guys to smithereens.

We'll be set.

So how does one of us get out of here?

No problem.

You've got guts, Kim.

Well, it's the only plan we've got.

Hey, you party animals, I want to dance.

I want to drink.

Come get me you big slime bucket drooler.

What's your name, you bit ugly sack?

My name is Richard.

My friends call me Richard.

The ladies call me Dick.

What you ask for is what you get.

Well, you've got to come fetch me first.

You've got to open the door if you think you're going to get any.

Oh, I'll open the door

and when I do, I'll get everything I want.

Talk, talk, talk.

It's got nothing to do with talking, lady,

I'll be right back.

I think he likes me. I mean a lot.

I wonder how he kisses?

Here he comes with his friend.

All right, everybody move back

so I can take my date out for a walk.

Where are we going?

We're going to the mud room.

That's where we're allowed to do it.

Well, what if I told you I wanted to screw all of you

right here, right now.

I told you.

It's not allowed.

Well, maybe I can convince you to break a few rules.

Watch this.

It's great, hah?

Hey, we're not allowed do it here.

I told you.

This really pisses me off.

Yeah, well, it's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Have it your way.

I don't believe it. A pipe bomb from a book of matches

and some junk.

It's a good thing those guards weren't too swift.

The book.

Ah!

You are a lot of trouble.

Now, you die.

You kids are very naughty.

Guard, guards.

JUDY: Well, we got the book back, but somehow we lost Clark and Wynette.

Okay, let's see what the old computer can tell us.

This is gonna take some time. Why don't you send out for a pizza.

GIRLS: Yeah.

Okay, I'll do it.

You want to play a game of backgammon?

Come on.

Come on, Harold.

Hello, yeah, I want to order a pizza.

Ah, large, everything on it.

Ah, seven-eighty Congressional.

Great, thanks.

Can't you hurry that up?

I'm burning through this as fast as I can.

Will you just relax, Bob.

I'm getting totally brutalized.

Bob, everything's going to be okay.

I can just feel it.

Hey, I'm making some real progress here now.

What have you got?

A lot of reoccurring phrases and symbols.

Judy, give me a hand. Grab a Sure.and pen.

Speed it up, I'm sure they're not too far behind us.

Oh, great, here it comes.

(BANGING ON THE DOOR)

It's okay, it's probably the pizza man.

I'm coming with you.

Who is it?

Your pizza's here.

Excuse me.

Are you alone? Is anybody with you?

Ah, no, I'm by myself.

How much is it?

Eleven dollars and sixty-four cents.

Is that it?

Ah, no, could you open the door

so I could give you your double meat and cheese pizza?

No, just shove it through. It will fit.

Okay.

And, don't call and bitch about the mess either.

Shut up and Thanks. the pizza.

Oh, great, I'm starving.

Okay, we open to this page.

And everyone gather around the book.

Zorastus, northrus, domas, norty, damus.

Ah, shitus, damn it to hellus.

Careful with those chants.

Okay, here goes..

Zorastus, northrus, domas,

norty, damus.

(RUMBLING)

Is that it?

I don't think so.

I told you to be careful with those chants.

How the hell was I supposed to know this was going to happen.

You have summoned me from my very long sleep.

Oh, my God, another vampire?

My children do not be afraid.

Are you Gnordron, high priest of the undead?

What have you summoned me for?

I'm cold.

I can imagine.

How did you happen by this?

A priest by the name of Demos had it.

We stole it from him.

And Demos stole it from our temple.

Demos has not changed over these thousands of years.

Tell me, why am I here?

Demos has a plan to revive all of the earth's undead and take over the planet.

Then you must stop him.

You will die.

Hey!

KIM: Oh, again? Bob, Harold!

(SCREAMING)

We must strike now while Demos least expects it.

Remember.

Demos is very powerful in the black arts.

Do not grow careless. Come let us go.

For all you have done for me, my children,

you may have them.

JUDY: Once we got there, Gnordron went after Demos

while we split up to look for Clarke and Wynette.

We, ah, found more than we were bargaining for.

Woo hoo!

Finally you have arrived.

Demos, you must leave this place and give up your evil plan.

I am on the threshold of the greatest achievement that God has ever done.

You are not a God.

You are a perversion of all our people have stood for centuries.

You are a disgrace and shall be forever stricken from the "Book Of The Dead".

Give that to me. It's mine.

It belongs to the brotherhood,

and was not meant to be the single tool of a madman.

Don't anger me, Gnordron.

I am the servant of one stronger than either you or I.

Falto! You are too late.

Destroy them.

Children, you must flee for your lives.

Who the hell are you?

You may leave us.

Who are you?

Falto.

Your lord and master.

I have chosen you to be my death mate.

What have you done to Bob?

You will soon forget your earthly joys, pleasure as well

as all the pain.

I will give you eternal life

and death's passion kiss.

No.

There is your kingdom.

Falto, you have used your powers to gain entrance

to the mortal world.

It is forbidden as is written in the "Book of the Dead".

You are old and your battles are many,

but your strength is no match.

Come and I will sell your soul to roam eternity.

Yes, I am old,

but I still command the cross of death.

Judy, get the lid.

Oh, my God.

Ugh! Sorry.

Let's go, get it, get it.

Oh, God.

Let' Argh!his.

Hitler! Let's go.

Last one. Come on now.

Bull's eye.

Oh, my God, it's Clark and Wynette.

Let's get 'em.

Are you guys okay?

Hurry, we don't have time.

Hurry up, we have to get out of here.

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry up,

we've got to get out of here. Come on.

(RUMBLING)

Are you guys okay?

What a finale?

It's the best party I have ever been to.

Ah, I'm just too wired.

Let's go back to Bob's and party.

No, I don't think so.

You want to go back to my place.

And fi Sure.e champagne.

Bye, you guys.

See you.

Well, what about you guys, you party animals, let's go.

It is almost dawn.

We're kind of tired, aren't we, Wynette.

Yeah, we're tired.

We'll see you after the sun sets tonight.

You guys are going to go home and go to sleep after everything that's happened?

Come on, Judy, the ladies obviously need their beauty rest.

See you later, guys.

(SPITTING))

Look, why don't you two just go home.

There is nothing more you can do here.

We'll take Okay.kay.

Come on, Ju Okay.' s go.

Judy, I'm starved. Let's stop and get a bite.

Harold!