All language subtitles for The Valley S02E12

Previously on "The Valley"...

I know we were talking
about taking, like,

an end of the summer trip,
and we wanted to do Hawaii.

-Whoo-whoo-whoo!
-Whoo!

It feels weird going on a trip

with people
that I'm not talking to.

I will not bring Jenna around
somewhere

that you and Aaron are gonna be.
-You already did.

This is a conversation that
Michelle and I could have had

without you being involved
and making it so much bigger--

[singsongy] Yeah, 'cause
we would hold you accountable!

A word you can't stand!

LUKE: Hopefully I'm not
bringing the ring back

'cause she said no.
-It's a full carat.

She'll say yes. [laughs]

-[island style music playing]
-DANNY: Maui.

-Happy place.
-Operation Get Engaged.

Same reason?

Did you cross a line
when I was married to Michelle?

***

* Either love me
or leave me alone *

* Let my judgment
say "each to their own" *

* But I'm better,
but I'm better *

* This ain't my best,
I'm better *

-Hello!
-[indistinct conversations]

This is the perfect spot
to kind of kick off our trip.

It's very Hawaii island vibes
with the location and the view.

It's just perfect.

It's so beautiful.

Where's Luke and Kristen?

I was texting with Kristen,
and she was like,

stuff isn't going good
with his grandma.

Aw.

So, everything's just
kind of upsetting him.

Hi, baby.

Okay.

When Luke is really frustrated,
likes to take a walk.

He likes to take a drive

and deal with some
of his emotions on his own.

But, like, come on, Luke,
get it together.

We've had a stressful time
recently,

and this is for us to enjoy.

Hi, guys. Can I get you started
with anything to drink?

Casamigos Blanco
skinny margarita

with salt, please.
-We're going to get sake.

SERVER: Can I also take
your, uh, dinner order?

-I'll do the filet.
-Pan-seared King Salmon.

Okay, let's go, babe.
I think they're waiting

on us for dinner.
-Are they?

***

-[ice rattling]
-Hi, guys.

Thank you. Ooh, yeah.

-We just need to go eat.
-Okay.

-That's all.
-Look at my mountain of edamame.

So, what did you decide
to do for Cruz?

So, Zuly's staying at my house
the entire time that we're gone,

and then Jax is just
coming to my house

to play with Cruz...

-NIA: Yeah. Yeah.
-...for now. Yeah.

This is my first real vacation

that Jax hasn't been on
in, like, 10 years.

It feels very strange
because everybody's coupled up,

but it also is very freeing.
Like, thank God he did not come.

-Whoa. What is all this?
-It's like a little bridge!

Here they are!

-[all cheering]
-Yay!

Get over here, Kristen!

-How you feeling?
-All right, I'm here.

Iced tea lemonade with Tito's,
please.

I can tell that Luke's
a little frazzled,

and I'm one of the few people
that know

he's proposing
to Kristen tomorrow.

So I'm hoping that Luke is gonna
be able to keep it together

and keep the train
on the track for tomorrow.

So it would be really nice
if once in a while,

Janet would just
acknowledge the fact

that she can be
a really sh--ty person

and start a lot of things
to be drama for everyone else.

And also, I mean,
Janet yelled at me.

Where the [bleep] is my apology?

What? [laughs]

***

-Cheers to friendship.
-Cheers to friendship.

[all cheering]

DANNY: Cheers to family.

Cheers to having
each other's backs. [chuckles]

Does this feel awkward at all
with Jesse here and stuff,

or has it been pretty,
like, chill so far?

I think it's on him.

[indistinct conversations]

You know, there's sh-- that
just can't be comprehended,

you know, childish.

Unwell behavior.

-Hit this real quick.
-400 bucks.

-Hey, hey, hit this. Hit this.
-I would say 400.

Useless.

I know I'm on the outside,
but it seems like he's making

positive strides from now
since last year.

Oh, no, he's gotten...worse.

-JASON: Oh, interesting.
-Yeah.

Is everybody done?
You guys should come back

and see my presidential suite.

Guys, I picked up this check.
I got you guys.

Now everybody can watch my booty
as I walk up here.

Hey, uh, Aaron, can you hold
back with me for a sec?

Yeah, of course.

Just the two of us.

[indistinct conversations,
laughter]

I don't have a choice
with Jesse.

He's gonna be in my life
forever,

even when Isabella gets married,

and Aaron doesn't have to deal
with him and his toxicity.

So I do get scared
sometimes that one day

Aaron's gonna be like,

"This is too much to deal
with a crazy ex-husband."

-How are you enjoying yourself?
-Very well.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

I figured it was probably time

that you and I had
a little conversation.

There are issues that
Aaron and I need to discuss.

We should have discussed them
very early on. We didn't.

As a father of Isabella,

something
that really bothered me,

and--and you wouldn't know this

'cause you're not a father.

Coming back
on ----ing Father's Day

and having my mother
and my friends

send me screenshots of you
with my daughter

on Father's Day...
-Yeah.

...that is disrespectful to post
a picture of my daughter

without even asking her father
if that's okay.

Right.

That was a big slap
in the face from Michelle.

Completely slipped my mind.
We were having such a good day,

you know, supporting her,
and I put myself in your shoes.

And I was like, "Yeah, that's
not right," so I took it down.

But, like, treat us
with respect and...

Well, then let me
ask you a question.

***

Did you or did you not

cross a line when
I was married to Michelle?

[dramatic music playing]

Emotional, physical, in any way,
did you cross a line?

***

No.

Absolutely not.

We texted here and there,

was once for that coffee meeting
at Blackwood

and another time when I
told her, "Hey, come to Runyon.

I'm selling honey."

But other than that,

we would run into each other
all the time.

I'm thinking, this is bullsh--.

Listen, at this point,
I wanna like you,

but she triggers me, and she has
a way to get under my skin.

And I think it's kind of time
to let it all go.

If we could just all
somehow figure out a way

to, like, work together,

and you guys being here
this week,

I mean, it should be the perfect
----ing time to do that.

[sighs]

I don't know.
I think we've said enough.

In my heart of hearts,

I...1,000% think
they had a physical

and emotional relationship
before we separated.

How else do you explain
having a boyfriend

two weeks after we separated
while still living in my house?

Speak of the devil.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

You ready to go?

Yeah, I think we're done.

***

Coming up...

So you're gonna be mad at me.

What?!

Wait, so Danny and Nia
got to be there, and we didn't?

* Let me get
to know you better *

* Show you the good things
in life *

* Let me treat you
like my treasure *

Cheers! To Hawaii!
Cheers, everybody!

-Love y'all.
-Boom.

-Cheers.
-Bow!

-Cheers.
-Whoo!

Paradise.

* Let me be the one tonight *

Somebody spray tanned in there.
Looks like a dead body.

[laughs] The sheets.

Yeah, I know. It's nasty.

I hope they change the sheets
when we leave.

Yeah.

[singsongy]
I'm so excited for today.

Great day for a great day, baby!

-Be a part...
-Engagement day!

We're gonna be a part
of a proposal.

We're a hundred percent sure
it's gonna happen?

How is Luke doing?
Like, he seemed like he was

doing really bad last night.
-Yeah.

Last night, Luke had a moment,
went off the rails a little bit.

I will give anyone
at this table $20

to snort this ball of wasabi.

-I would do it for you.
-[snorts]

-Aah!
-[all exclaiming]

He was like, about to have,
like, a mental breakdown.

Yes, I'm ----ing going
through some sh--!

I just want you to be
there for me.

That's all I want, Kristen.

KRISTEN:
Luke, you don't have pants on.

You know, it's a really big
moment in your life,

and you wanna get it right.
So, I am sympathetic

to what he's going through
right now.

But I talked to him, uh,
this morning.

I said,
"How you doing, brother?"

He seems like he's, uh,
he's...coming back.

Okay.

-Have you talked to Kristen?
-I haven't talked to her at all.

-Oh, yeah.
-I talked--We talked to Kristen.

-I had breakfast with her.
-Oh, yeah.

I have not talked to her
since El Coyote.

You know, she's mad because
I was trying to talk to her,

and you were just,
like, yelling at her.

This is a conversation that
Michelle and I could have had

without you being involved
and making it

so much bigger and worse.
-[singsongy] Yeah, 'cause we

would hold you accountable!
-Janet, come on.

How did that night get
so heated at El Coyote?

I understand
the drinks were strong,

but how did it get so hot,
and everybody was yelling?

There's a group of people who,
every time the heat is on them,

suddenly there are
these made-up rumors

that get thrown out.
Jason was a victim of it.

Jason's in no...space

to be judging
anyone's relationship.

Keep your wedding ring on
all the time,

and then you can start talking.

You guys were the victim of it.

-I--
-I'm Aaron.

You're friends
with Jenna Willis, right?

Or you know Jenna Willis.

It's a deflection to me.

At El Coyote, I felt like

Kristen was not taking
any accountability and was like,

"I don't know
why Jenna's around.

What are you talking about?"
Just own it.

Just say, "I purposely brought
this person around

'cause I don't like Michelle,
and I wanna ruin

her happy relationship."
-I just wanna be in the pool

with my hot boyfriend
and have fun.

But my friends keep bringing up
a girl he once hooked up with.

We're gonna get
a couples massage.

AARON: On that note, we're gonna
go get deep tissue massage.

-JANET: You guys deserve it.
-Aw! Couples massage!

[singsongy] So sweet!

Why do we have to talk
about her again?

Can we move on?

JANET: You guys are
a really hot couple.

-Yeah.
-MICHELLE: Thank you.

-AARON: Think so?
-Yeah.

Michelle's really doing it
for me in these little shorts.

I have a crush on Michelle,
I've realized.

ZACK: Ugh. Our last day
with this view, though.

-[Benji laughs]
-Ugh.

Do we really have to give up
this room to Kristen?

I don't think
they really need it.

You know,
their room's pretty, too...

for an engagement, I guess.

Also, I love that Jasmine today
was like, "Something's amiss."

And I was like, "Just trust me.
Just trust me."

And then she's like...
[whispering]

[normal voice] I was like--
I was like, I can't. I can't.

This is a lot of sh--, like...

-For gay people setting up.
-I mean, it's gonna be real.

-What can go wrong?
-[grunts]

There we go. Oh, my God.
It's literally so--

Oh, wait. And the T-shirts
are like this.

Look how cute this is.
[chuckles]

-It's super cute.
-It's literally the best.

We had to get
Janet and Jason's size

to make it seem like...
-Yeah.

"Oh, we're getting, like,
a group photo on a shirt"

or whatever, and I don't know
what we're gonna do

with them tonight,
'cause I can tell you this.

If Kristen gets proposed to
and then gets off the boat,

and Janet is standing there with
a shirt of her face on it...

[laughs]
-...that will be

the biggest meltdown
in the history of the world.

Like, Chernobyl ain't got sh--
on what would happen.

But I feel like
we should pack first.

-Yeah.
-Because our sh-- is everywhere.

-[rhythmic knock on door]
-KRISTEN: [singsongy] Hello!

Um, hold--hold on one second.

-We're naked.
-Even better.

-[laughs]
-Wait. That's so cute.

I said last night to him--
I was like,

"You should actually wear that
tomorrow night to dinner."

Or I will.

Actually, let's just
sit down for a second.

Zack. Here you go.

-[laughs]
-I know they're yours

because I've seen them before.
-'Cause they're...

And they're also massive.
No, but last night, I felt like,

number one... [scoffs]
Luke--I love that there's

someone more dramatic
than you sometimes.

-Like, you have found dramatic.
-He wasn't dramatic.

He--He was in his feelings
and whatever.

But I'm just saying, like--

He had a really,
really hard weekend.

-He literally just spent...
-Yeah, it's--it is--

We spent 36 hours flying
when he had to meet

his sick grandmother,
who, in his mind, you know,

when you're about to--when you
think you're gonna lose someone,

you go worst-case scenario.
-Yeah. Okay, well, we need to

start getting ready, um, 'cause
we have to shower and stuff...

-Okay.
-...in our massive shower.

-[knock on door]
-Hola.

-Hi, baby.
-Hola.

Hi. How was golfing?

-Good.
-Do you feel Zen?

LUKE: Last night was a disaster,
but I got some good sleep.

I love Kristen so much.

Now I get to get down
on one knee

and give her the best surprise
of her life.

Babe, will you shave my neck?
Can help me do it?

-Yeah.
-I wanna get, like,

more ready today.
-Yes.

You wanna look like less of a...

-Yeah.
-...caveman.

LUKE: Yeah, I'm gonna
trim this a little bit.

-ZACK: We'll see you guys later.
-Yeah, I'm not--and I'm not

showering before fishy time.
-Okay.

'Cause I feel like I'm gonna
probably stink, like, fish

or something,
and then I'll shower after.

-I don't know what happens--
-No, you're not going to.

-You should shower before.
-Why?

Because I think we're going
to the luau right after.

-Yeah.
-I don't think there's gonna be

time to shower
and get ready after.

No, you don't need to shower
every day in Hawaii

if you're in the ocean.
[snorts]

[chuckles]

-Bye.
-It's true.

I've been trying to, like,
really subtly text her

about being cute.

Ugh, I love her so much
with her inspo pics.

Just, I want you to--

It's like a boat with a bunch
of gross fish guts on it.

-So, it's just like--
-No. No, it's not.

-No.
-Sent this inspo photo?

-Honey, it's a kissing photo.
-Oh, my gosh!

All these look like
they just got engaged.

-Just a boat. Yeah.
-Great.

I feel pretty dressed, then.

I'm excited. I'm anxious.

The boat's reserved.
Danny and Nia are coming.

Zack's handling
everything at the resort.

Kristen not wanting to shower
was not on my radar.

Coming up....

Is that the only time
you guys broke up?

-Yeah.
-Well, there was one more time.

When you started dating her.

***

Hey, hurry, hurry, hurry.
It's hot, it's hot, it's hot!

Hurry, hurry, hurry,
hurry, hurry!

[birds chirping]

You all right? Mwah.

***

JAX: I'm really, really happy
that I get to see Cruz today.

It's been seven days since
I've gotten out of the facility

and was really worried
because I was gone for so long

that I thought he was
gonna forget about me.

Not seeing
your little boy is just--

it's gut-wrenching.
It is gut-wrenching. And...

[exhales deeply]

***

He's my everything.

And, you know, he picked up
right where we left off.

I mean, he's the best medication
I have right now.

Thank you.

* Do I worry? Do I care? *

* There's no place for... *

Hula really is a storytelling
art form that allows a person

to use the hand, feet, and body
to manually unfold a story.

Lord,
what would my hula dance be?

One, two, pick the shell.

Obviously it has
a lot to do with Jax.

So, I'm thinking I can just
rip off his nuts,

pull them out,
and throw them in the ocean.

That's like a good hula move.
[laughs]

I don't know what this is,
but it looks like The Hulk.

I don't know
if it's a shaved ice

or a shaved ice cocktail
or if it's a different thing.

I don't need to be buddy-buddy
with Aaron.

-BOTH: Cheers.
-I think you start with a straw

and you end with a spoon.
-Oh, this...

But I have to do what's in
the best interest of Isabella,

and Isabella says
she loves Aaron.

Bye! Love you. Love you.
Love you!

-Love you, too. Bye.
-Bye.

Then I have to respect that.
Easier said than done.

Speaking of shaved ice, when's
the last time you played hockey?

You sure you wanna go there?

-Is this a sore topic?
-[laughs] Yeah.

"When's the last time
you played hockey?" Oh, really?

It connects us.
It connects us even more.

The last time I played hockey,
it was probably...2016.

I got buried in the corner.

I had the worst concussion
of my entire hockey career.

I checked myself into Cedars,

and Michelle and I hadn't been
dating for a few weeks.

I had an option of, like,

who to call to pick me up
at the hospital.

And, uh, that's kinda how
Michelle and I started back up.

Were you gonna--
if that didn't happen,

would you have?
-No.

[laughs] Uh, yeah, I guess
I've been concussed

for eight and a half years.

Was that the only time
you guys broke up?

Yeah.

JASON:
Well, there was one more time.

-When you started dating her.
-[laughter]

Technically, Michelle and I are
still together. Right, lawyer?

***

That must feel real good.

Technically, they were
in a relationship

while she was still
sleeping in my bed.

And, uh, yeah,
I'll take a few digs when I can.

JASON: You guys spoke
for a while yesterday.

I saw when you came back
to the room, you guys did

a little beers toast, so I
assume everything's pretty good.

I think it was a good talk.

Yeah. How do you feel
about last night?

I thought it was good. Um...

And like I said,
just be on my team.

I will do my part
as a promise to you

to not be calling her
a lying, cheating whore

because she doesn't
deserve that.

She's the mother of my child.

I trust that you are a man
who will respect my daughter,

a man who will now respect me.

And if you have a question
about my daughter,

you will reach out to me.

Those things alone,
we can build a foundation on.

-Respect is a 2-way street.
-Right.

The problem is, even if he
respects me, Michelle doesn't.

So, if he says to himself,

"I don't feel comfortable
with this. I should call Jesse,"

Michelle says, "[bleep] Jesse,"
what is he gonna do?

Be like,
"No, [bleep] you, Michelle.

Me and Jesse are bros"?
It's never gonna happen.

So, moving forward,
we just see how it goes.

-[cellphone rings]
-[laughs]

Put this on quick.

[ringing continues]

Oh, my God.

-Hello.
-JAX: What's up, man?

I'm with my best friend
and my new best friend.

-Look at this ----ing loser.
-We miss you, buddy.

Aaron and I are, uh, Kumbaya.

He gave me a couples massage
at the beach.

-[laughs]
-How you feeling?

Yeah?

You love Cruz time?

It's not as good without you,
brother. You need to get back.

[laughs]

-Later.
-All right.

Coming up...

NIA: This is the light.
This is a good light.

* My love is here for you *

* Just me *

Whoo, look at the tails.

Some big fish they've caught.

We're catching this one today.

DANNY: That's crazy.

MAN: How's it going, you guys?

Right on. Welcome on board.
Watch your step.

-Dana.
-Good to meet ya.

-Welcome aboard.
-Oh, yeah, yeah.

LUKE: Look at the rays.
Look at the stingrays.

-[gasps] Cool! Oh, my God!
-DANNY: Wow.

And they're having sex
right now.

Maybe it's good luck.
They're making babies.

LUKE:
This is a baby-making trip.

NIA: Guys,
we're already seeing nature.

KRISTEN: Make love.
Have those babies.

I didn't even know
stingrays did hump.

Wait, do eagle rays have, like,
a penis that sticks out?

I don't know.

I love Mother Nature.

MAN: Okay, we're gonna go--
we're gonna go ahead and--

and take off.
-Oh, I thought we were gonna...

Making moves, baby!

* Ride up in from the west end *

KRISTEN: How beautiful
the ocean color is!

* She gon' bring
her best friend *

Oh, yeah.

LUKE: I think I need to take
my luck to the back, though.

KRISTEN: Okay.

***

-So, when the time comes...
-Yeah.

I'm gonna get us up front,
and then I'll say,

"I'll grab my hat real quick.
I'll be right back."

Okay. Yeah. And that just
tells me I gotta get up,

get the phone out.
-Get your phone out

and make sure Kristen doesn't
follow me back here.

Gotcha, gotcha. If she asks,
be like, you're coming back.

If she rides you, be like,
"He's coming right back.

-Yeah, yeah. Got it.
-Yeah, yeah.

-Perfect. Perfect.
-We'll be good.

DANNY: Come on, baby!
Come to Papa!

What do you wanna bet?
20 bucks on first fish?

-I was gonna say something.
-You in?

-I'm in.
-Let's go, Nia!

Whoo-hoo!

She has one on?

NIA: I see it. Nemo?

MAN: Oh, almost like--
that's like the Disney movie.

-You've heard of "Moana"?
-Uh-huh.

That's what it's called.
It's called Moana

Nia! That's so not nice of you.

I think they ended up
keeping her for a while

and using her as bait
for bigger fish.

[music warps down]

How sad is that?

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Cool.

$20, baby!

You wanna see my boobs?
Will that help?

[chuckles]

Right now my head
is not with the fish.

I am not thinking
about catching a fish

bigger than
Danny's little thing.

Show me the money!

We need--You and I need
to take photos.

Okay.

Just, like,
cutesy swimsuit, girly.

How are we not
taking any photos?

No, because I'm not feeling
cute at all right now.

When the--we'll find a spot
in the shade.

I'm feeling sweaty
and absolutely disgusting.

I just, like, have all
these photo plans in my head,

and we haven't taken any.

Oh, my God, is it hot.
Oh, my God, is it humid.

Like, I'm sticking
to my own self right now.

NIA: Are we feeling good
for photos?

[groans]

I can't really see straight.

Do I wanna be taking
pictures right now? No.

Do I ever wanna be
taking pictures? No.

[sighs]

Let's get picture-ready
and snap some...

"schnap" some pics.

I have no idea what I look
like right now. [chuckles]

Wow.

NIA: See, this is the light.
This is a good light.

LUKE: No, she's sitting
on my bag.

DANNY: [lowered voice]
Oh, my God.

This is typical Kristen.

I'm gonna wait till she gets up.

We're at the finish line,
and she's sitting on the ring.

Jeez-o-Petes.

Hey, Kristen, I know photos are
not your thing, but we have,

like, three minutes
for, like, perfect lighting.

I'm going as fast as I can.

The stress I feel right now
about taking

these picture-perfect,
like, couple-y photos

is gonna, like,
make me have a meltdown.

Like, I'm trying.
The makeup's on.

Like, the tits are out.
I'm doing the best that I can.

-NIA: Yeah, perfect.
-I'm gonna go the opposite way.

-Okay.
-When she comes out

and goes around,
I'm gonna go the opp--

You're gonna go the opposite.
Okay.

-And snag it.
-Perfect.

Shove it in my pants. [chuckles]

-Okay, she's going around...
-NIA: Perfect.

...the other way.

-Are my sunglasses up there?
-Just mine.

-No?
-Um...

Now I have to pee.

Can you take a few pictures
for me and Daniel?

-Absolutely.
-Thank you.

-Before my phone dies.
-Yes.

Okay. I think this is
good lighting.

***

-What? Yeah?
-Looks good.

Okay.
Yeah, that's really pretty.

Okay, take some for us.
and we'll take some for you.

Stop talking. Good.

So cute. So cute. So cute.

I took, like, 40 million.

Thank you.
And the lighting is so pretty.

-Okay.
-LUKE: Uh, over there, right?

-The light?
-KRISTEN: Yeah.

NIA: Yeah, the light's good
over there.

-Wherever, wherever, whatever--
-Come here. Come here.

-Just do what Nia says.
-Come here, come here.

-[laughs]
-Snap. Snap. Now snap.

I think there's some dolphins
over there right now, dude.

-Are you being for real?
-Yeah.

Wait a second. Come here.

-There's like a pod.
-Where, where, where?

Where the splashes are?
No, that's the wrong--

-NIA: No, hold on. Right there.
-See that edge right there?

-Look right here.
-Okay. Hold on.

-I feel like I saw it splash.
-Look straight out.

Hold on. Straight.
What does straight mean?

See where, like, the circle is
in that--in the cliff?

-It's like...
-Yes.

...probably 50 yards
in front of that.

-But not where it's splashing?
-Right.

LUKE: Your butt looks so good
from this angle.

-[laughs]
-Hey, baby.

We've had some
awesome adventures, honey.

-Come here.
-Yeah. What are you doing?

-What the [bleep]?
-[music warps down]

Will you be the catch
of my lifetime, baby?

[whispering]

I love you so much. We've had
such incredible adventures

and so many new experiences.

I wanna spend
the rest of my life with you.

Will you marry me?

***

Are you being serious?
It's real life?

***

-[laughs]
-Here, put it on.

Here. Put it on.

-I didn't see that.
-[laughs]

I'm nervous, too.

***

KRISTEN:
Luke is very much my rock.

I mean, he stands by me.
He stands up for me.

I love that he's exactly
who he is

and lets me be exactly who I am.

I love how funny
he thinks he is, but he's not.

Like, that is
my partner in crime.

That is my ride or die. This was
the easiest yes I've ever said.

-[laughs]
-Aah! You're getting married!

Congratulations! You're engaged!

NIA: Whoo!

Whoo-hoo! Oh, my gosh!

[Danny laughing]

***

You're mine forever.

[laughs]

I'm just so happy.

[Danny and Nia cheering]

-Were there really dolphins?
-LUKE: No.

Oh. [laughs] I would have
stood there forever.

* My love is here for you *

* Just me *

ZACK: Oh, look at that.
You packed for me.

I knew you were
a good boyfriend.

I knew I started dating you
for some reason.

Okay, let's grab
all the stuff in here.

They literally put stuff
in every ----ing drawer.

How much golf did
he think he was gonna do?

Oh, [bleep].
There are more drawers here.

Luke, you knew
that I would be switching

Kristen and Luke's room
with mine and Benji's room.

No! She put stuff in--
Ugh!

Why is there stuff
in every ----ing drawer?

I can't with straight men.

-Do you have everything?
-I think so.

Is that yours,
or is that Jesse's?

I don't wanna touch that
if that's Jesse's.

Those are not mine.

Okay, well, whatever.
I've already seen his butt.

Might as well touch it, too.
Oh, hello, sir. Oh--

***

I guess I... [whispering]

BENJI: Oh. [chuckles]

So, just add to the list
of my problems--Jesse.

Um, so because we--
we didn't realize

you were gonna be
back in the room,

so I'm just gonna have to
tell you now instead of later.

Um, Luke is proposing
to Kristen.

-Really?
-Literally tonight.

-No ----ing way.
-Yeah. Well, actually...

-Is that why he--
-Not tonight. Like, right now.

That's why he was so--yeah.
Right now they're on the boat.

That's why nobody else
could go fishing

and everything else--
-Who the [bleep]

wants to go fishing?
-Well, I don't either.

I wouldn't have wanted to go
either way, so let's be real.

You're just gonna have
to put some earmuffs on.

So I say, why don't
we call the hotel

and get...

500 white roses...

-[music warps down]
-...and 500 hibiscus petals

and put 'em
all over the whole place?

-Wow.
-[laughs]

Can we get, like,
5,000 white flowers?

Jesus Chr-- I'm like, why--

Michelle says he's broke.

-He is the one who is broke.
-Exactly.

He cannot pay for rent.

And you're a loser! You ----ing
spend all of our money.

So I guess he's just gonna
put it on the credit card?

[line rings]

Hi, um, we're in
the presidential suite.

Uh, I have a question for you.
Is there somebody that could

get me
a thousand hibiscus flowers?

***

[busy signal beeping]

What is going on?

BRITTANY: Do you think
we could room service shots?

-Yeah, we could--
-We--We should--

JASON: You want me to just--
I'm already ready.

You want me just go down
and buy a bottle of tequila?

-Yes. Yes.
-Thank you. Please.

That's probably, like, cheaper.

JANET: This is why
Jason's in the girl room.

All right, babe.
So, are we wearing

the blue dresses tonight?
-[faucet turns on and off]

-Yeah.
-Or do you want to do color?

I think I'm gonna wear my blue.

I just wanna look--
I don't wanna look crazy.

Like, this is Kristen's,
like, engagement.

Like, we're gonna
see this forever.

Like, what if she said no?

-I know.
-No, she's gonna say yes.

But, like, I'm just surprised
that, like, no one else knows.

I mean, I figured it out
because I was like,

"Zack, why aren't
you hanging out with me?"

I don't think anybody else,
though, figured it out.

I don't think anybody else
knows.

Actually, tonight is actually
secretly our engagement.

-What?
-Mm-hmm.

-What do you mean?
-It's ours.

-Shut up.
-[chuckles]

-It's a double engagement?
-It is. It is.

I would die, Melissa.

I would literally
punch you in the--

-I might punch you in the face.
-Yeah?

-Yeah. [laughs]
-Okay.

We should probably get dressed,
though, because I think--

Okay, good.
Oh, we're good. Okay.

[island-style music playing]

[bottles clink]

Okay, so first thing
I'm noticing is we're not

doing balloons out here.
-Uh, no.

-They will fly away.
-[laughs]

This is the--Oh, my God,
this is such a perfect--

-Aloha! Welcome!
-Hey, how are you?

-Hello.
-We're so excited you're here.

Oh, my God. Wait, hold on.
Let me put this down real quick.

Your friends are gonna be
gathering together.

So what, um, do they--
is it, like, already set up?

Are we good to go on the bar?

Well, he's still setting up.

We're gonna need to get
glue for that, or tape.

That's okay. I'll get weights
or something for it.

Is way windier than I thought
it was gonna be.

Okay. Guess I probably should
tell other people

that this is
an engagement party now.

The proposal's supposed
to happen at sunset,

so now as the sun's going down,
I can finally call everybody,

let them know there's actually
an engagement happening.

And she better have said yes,
'cause I put...

[clenching teeth]
way too much work into this.

Brittany's gonna be so mad
at me. Literally, so mad at me.

[line rings]

-BRITTANY: [singsongy] Hello?
-Hello!

So you're gonna be mad at me.

What? Is Jax here? [laughs]

ZACK: [over speakerphone]
Oh, God, no! I--okay, I would

never surprise you with that.
That is not a surprise.

-Okay.
-Um, no.

Luke just proposed to Kristen.

What?! He did?!

ZACK: Yeah.
Are you, like, so shocked?

Uh, yeah. Wait, so Danny and Nia
got to be there, and we didn't?

ZACK: Luke wanted it to be,
like, such a surprise.

You know, Danny and Nia
being there, like, yes,

she loves them, but, like,
if you and I were

on this fishing boat,
do you think that makes sense?

Uh, yeah, I was trying to go
fishing the whole time. [laughs]

Oh, well, maybe you, but I'm
like, I'm not even a fisher.

BRITTANY: I cannot help
but feel a little bit left out.

Kristen is one
of my very best friends.

She's literally a sister to me,
and I would have loved

to have been there
and been in that moment.

And, like, I feel like
all these other people

knew about it but me.

It just doesn't really
make sense to me.

-ZACK: Love you. Get ready.
-All right.

-And I will see you soon!
-All right.

[singsongy] I'll see you soon!
Bye, baby.

-Okay, love you. Bye.
-Bye.

Hey, Janet, Michelle.

MICHELLE: Do you see
how much hair I have?

-Guys.
-Hmm?

So, I just overheard
Zack telling Brittany

Luke and Kristen
are engaged now.

-Aw!
-What?

-He just proposed.
-Yeah.

-Oh, my God.
-I didn't--I mean,

I didn't know that was--
Did you guys have any idea?

-JANET: On that boat today?
-No.

-That's cute.
-I don't know where they did it

or what. I just overheard it.
I fully eavesdropped.

-I mean, I don't know.
-[laughs]

Oh, [bleep]. [bleep].

Now we've left our child
for the first time

for the longest time
we've ever left him,

and it's
for Kristen's engagement trip.

If it's gonna be
a big group dinner,

and they're gonna go,
I'm gonna bow out.

Just give Zack a call now to see
if that's the whole thing.

Yeah.

Um, let's do a shot together.

Are you allowed
to drink on the job?

No, no, no, no. I don't drink,
but our shot has a little

ice cube in it for the bar.
-Ooh, let's do that.

-[cellphone rings]
-So sorry. Hold on one second.

-Hello?
-Hi.

-Hey.
-I heard, um,

you told Brittany the news.
Like, congratulations.

I'm super happy for them.

Feel like maybe Jason and I
shouldn't come to dinner

'cause it's been kind of weird.

Has Kristen Doute
ever apologized for anything

in her ----ing life? No.
She's sorry that she got caught.

No. She's doing
the dirty work.

This is a conversation that
Michelle and I could have had

without you being involved
and making it

so much bigger and worse.
-[singsongy] Yeah, 'cause

we would hold you accountable!

Well, I wanted to do this
in person

because I don't want you
to think that, like,

I'm dis-cluding you,
'cause I'm not.

-And I don't think--
-JANET: No, that's totally fine.

I actually--I think it'd be
best if we don't come.

Okay. Um...I got T-shirts made.

I think it would be
a little aggressive if

you had a shirt on
with their faces on it,

and you guys haven't even,
like, talked out

the things that have happened.
-Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

But I wanted to say that,
like, the dinner aspect,

it's a stand-up dinner.

It's, like, in a very open area
down by the pool

with hors d'oeuvres.

So, I feel like you coming
shows that, like...

you do wanna work on things.

You are happy for them 'cause
I know you are, and I think it--

JANET: I know.
I'm so happy for them.

This weekend should be
about them celebrating,

and they should honestly
just have the best time.

ZACK: Thank you
very much for that.

I was kind of nervous to have
this conversation, but--

-No, it's totally fine.
-I really appreciate--

-Okay.
-It's totally fine.

Send my best, and we'll see
you guys tomorrow to celebrate.

-Okay, great.
-Have a great night. Bye.

ZACK: Okay.

Where do you wanna
go to dinner?

[stifles laugh] Okay, well,
now I...I'm off the hook.

Okay. This was great.

JANET: All right,
we're going to dinner.

I don't want Kristen
to come out to a celebration

where she's looking
around the room

and seeing everybody
that makes her smile,

that she feels like has been
supportive of her relationship,

and then see me and feel dread.

We're gonna talk to everybody
back in L.A.

BRITTANY: Wait, you're not--
What do you mean?

What do you mean, back in L.A.?

I'm not gonna hang out
tomorrow either.

I mean, just because Kristen,
you know, went

for my marriage and Jesse
and Michelle's marriage

doesn't mean
that she doesn't deserve

to have
a happy engagement celebration.

Well, if we're gonna be
excluded from one thing,

I'm not gonna jump
in anything else.

First of all, we weren't
excluded from dinner tonight.

-But--
-But here's--it's a good thing

that they got engaged, but it
does make sense if there's,

like, weird tension between,
like, Janet and Kristen, so...

-And this trip's for them.
-But we, um--

What do you mean
this trip's for them?

Well, this trip's
for their engagement now.

You know what I mean? Like, this
is--it's always gonna be that.

So I'd rather just, like--like,
I don't want it to be weird.

I haven't spoken
to Kristen here.

Janet, I'm literally taking off
work to be in Hawaii. It's not--

-This trip's for us as well.
-I know.

So let's do our own
stuff tomorrow.

I feel weird that
this is happening.

No, it's good. No, no.
I wanna just go get food

'cause I'm hungry.
-Yeah.

[laughs] And I thought
we would be eating by now.

I feel weird
in my room right now. [laughs]

If I was Janet,
I wouldn't wanna go either.

I wouldn't want to wear
a T-shirt and be like,

"Congratulations.
We don't get along!" You know?

It just has to feel
super awkward for her.

I'm not gonna go to that
and TBD on tomorrow.

I don't know this tomorrow
thing. Stop saying that.

I--This is--okay. We'll figure
out tomorrow when it comes.

What does it matter
if they're engaged?

We'll figure out tomorrow
when it comes.

I just am ready to--
I'm--I've been starving.

Just, like, slow down
and not making these decisions

without talking to me.

I've been starving for hours.
Can we go get food?

***

* I'm gon' try to talk *

* Yeah, ain't nobody
gon' stop me *

* Don't come to talk, yeah *

But I want the "I love you,"
so I have these two.

"I love you." Okay?
So, I think it should just be...

Or should I put these
in the room?

I should just put these
in the room.

-That'll make it easier.
-Great.

Are you having
a panic attack right now?

-Yep.
-What is happening?

Myself, as a functioning
panic attacker

would suggest that Zack
maybe scream into a pillow.

[muffled scream]

I personally recommend Xanax.

Guys, we're not ready.

-Oh, my God! What?
-Oh, my God. How cute.

-[laughs]
-I'm engaged!

So happy!

I would have helped.
Thanks, guys.

I just don't know why
they didn't include me

out of everybody in this crew.

Oh, I just wanted to be able
to help with that situation

and made something special
for Kristen, but whatever.

I'm being selfish.

But this is super cute.

-Everybody, guys, guys...
-Oh, there you are.

Okay, quickly.
Yeah, I need to finish.

If you could just find
your size.

You're just gonna put this on...

-Okay.
-...for when they get here,

and then you can take it off.
-Okay.

And then we're gonna use it
tomorrow for the boat day.

Okay, I'm going.

Is your arm tired yet?

-Nope.
-[laughs]

Not at all. Don't you worry.

-Oh.
-Ask me when I'm 99.

Whoop-whoop.

She's coming. She's coming.
She's coming. She's coming.

-Really?
-Do we have the...

-Hurry up! Run!
-Hurry!

-DANNY: What a day, guys!
-NIA: What a day!

You became a fiancée today.

-Wait. I want a red rose!
-He said--wait.

Zack told us
that he wants us here.

-Sit here. Here, here.
-Oh, yeah, yeah. Over here.

-Over here, over here.
-Brittany, this side.

KRISTEN: Oh, my God.
I haven't said a word yet.

-[whispers] Wait, wait, wait.
-No, after she opens the door.

Shh!

-[cheering]
-Oh, Jesus Christ!

[cheering continues]

Whoo!

-Whoo!
-Whoo!

-Yeah!
-Yes!

[cheering continues]

-Look at those shirts.
-Oh, my...

Look at the T-shirt.

Wait, you did it.
You guys did this, then.

-Me and Zack.
-Oh, yeah.

Like, to go above and beyond
like this,

have all these decorations

and to have
all of these shirts printed

and to keep it a surprise,
like... [gasps]

It's really sweet.

[laughs]

Congratulations.

Congrats.

Congrats. Love you guys.

I know. I was totally shocked.

Okay, if we could just present
Mr. And Mrs. Broderick. Yay!

[cheering]

-Whoo!
-We're not married yet.

-Put it on them, Zack.
-[laughter]

You can just feel, like,
the energy and, like, the love,

and you know that it's,
like, real, and you know

it's gonna last and it's just,
like, perfect match.

A little jealous.
No, I'm just kidding.

No, I'm happy for them.

I don't think anyone
would do this

intentionally or maliciously,

but we haven't had a chance
to talk to our family.

So, please don't post
any Stories tonight or anything.

-Don't tell anyone.
-We don't want them to find out.

It's your moment.
You define your moment.

-We love you guys.
-Also so while we're doing this,

um, we have two surprises
for you.

Number one, um,
I swapped your rooms.

So the presidential suite
was actually for you.

And he did know that.
So...just FYI--

I have to share a shower
with you guys.

-Just...it's no big deal.
-ZACK: That's the only caveat.

-We apologize in advance.
-That's the only caveat.

[cork pops]

Whoo!

Congratulations!

Okay. And then we have
hors d'oeuvres downstairs.

Blah, blah, blah. Okay, great.
Now let's do champagne.

[cheers and laughter]

I wanna thank you all
for being here.

It means--means a lot.

Love you guys.
I'm so happy for you.

-LUKE: Thank you.
-So ----ing happy.

As someone who has been
engaged and married before,

listen to your gut always.
[laughs]

You have a new family,
and I love you guys.

Cheers to you guys.

-Yes.
-I love love.

When you get in that moment
with somebody

that's, you know,
your best friend

that you're intimate
and affectionate with,

yeah, it's great.

-Thank you. Yeah, seriously.
-Sorry if anybody that wanted

to go fishing didn't get to go.
We didn't catch anything,

so don't worry.
-I wanted to go fishing!

-Well, no! You did!
-I caught a fiancée.

-You did catch something.
-I caught a fiancée.

I'm really the luckiest girl
in the whole world.

A trip to Hawaii, a new fiancé,

and literally the best friends
a girl could ever ask for.

Yes.

I've never been so happy
that I took a shower in my life.

-Cheers.
-Cheers!

Future Mrs. Broderick
right here.

[glasses clinking, cheering]

ZACK: Or is it future Mr. Doute?

-KRISTEN: No.
-[laughter]

Next time on "The Valley"...

Ooh, cute boat.

"Pride of Maui."

Yay! We're movin'.

I talked to Brittany
this morning about it.

I go, "I know you want
this divorce.

Can we put a pin in it, maybe?"
-I don't think that's a good--

-That's a bad idea?
-Yeah, that's a bad idea.

Are there any repercussions for
Janet being a complete psycho?

I know who Jason is. I know
he would never do the things

that you were accusing him of.

ZACK: I specifically--exactly.
And it's, like...

Why are we protecting
the wrong people?

Nobody's protecting anybody!
We just want the truth!

KRISTEN:
Get the [bleep] off my boat!

It's my ----ing
engagement weekend!

How about that, bitch?