Original subtitles

Ladies and gentlemen, the announcement we are about to make has been made only

three times before in motion picture history. Each time it has preceded the

showing of motion pictures that have become regarded as the most unusual of

their type ever filmed. And now, we make this announcement for the fourth time.

We're about to show you a new movie which is called Smash Cut.

Watch if you must, but remember, you were warned.

So, Alan, you're still having those, um, recurring dreams?

Yes, I am.

Pretty bad, eh? Every night?

Pretty much so, yeah.

So you've got these dreams every night from an incident that happened, say,

three, uh, four months ago? It wasn't a dream.

It was real.

It was real. I think it is a real clown. I think it's alive.

Yes. Well, um, okay. Alan, concentrate.

Think rational here for a moment.

First one, toys are not human. They cannot come to life. They can't kill

They're toys, Alan. It isn't a toy, Doc. It's real.

Two, we know you have a problem, okay? Look, this is getting

out of hand.

I mean, what's the clown's name again? What's his name again, Alan?

Bobo.

Bobo.

You're full of it.

You deserve what you get.

You're gonna pay for what you say.

This movie's lame.

This movie sucks.

I want my money back.

That was it. That was the death of cinema. I know. I'm surprised you

and just rejected it. That guy makes Ed Wood look like Orson Welles.

So what's his name again?

Whitman. Abel Whitman. Jesus, I hope he has a date, though.

Now I understand, Abel, why you passed your films in this game.

With an enigmatic answer.

To call it an incompetence would be too kind.

She's a philistine.

She's a philistine!

Abel, my boy, don't let reviews get you down.

About the shoot tomorrow morning.

How many sets are you planning? Because, you know, once you see 10K is dead

again... And, well, lighting may be an issue. It's not just the investors.

The wallet.

And the producers.

And the actors.

And the audience.

Sitting in the dark.

Knifing. They should die before they get a chance to see the end of the film.

They should die.

And the disloyal crews, always sniffing around for something better, always

using your connections, always interrupting.

Abel, that is beyond detail.

I finished cleaning your camera. If it is, I will see you on set in a moment.

for inspiration.

I need inspiration.

You needed that inspiration.

I can give you all the inspiration you need, Abel.

Gigi, you're my inspiration.

My new human form.

Gigi, I need you in my next movie.

The camera's been waiting for you.

I've heard of a natural appetite.

Aye, sir.

I'm a true artiste.

Abel, let's get out of here.

What are you doing?

It's your money, Abel.

It's not about the money between us.

It's not about money. I'm not here for the money.

It's about us.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. God,

why me?

Why me?

Cut.

Let's move back.

It's so fake.

My God.

They're right.

It's so fake.

It's terrible.

Clear the set.

And it's a movie. Thanks.

Okay, Gigi, give me all the inspiration you've got.

Really, you think?

So real.

Very disturbing.

So it's right, Abel.

If you keep this up, we can stop making tax write -offs and start making money.

Ozzie, what did you just say?

I said if we can keep this up, we can... You're right. You're absolutely right.

I can't stop now.

Abel, you do have everything ready for the funding...

board meeting next week. We really need their cap financing.

Absolutely. It's my top priority.

Now, if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I have some rewrites to do.

Abel, that reminds me. Nice, nice. Anytime.

Just something I wanted to talk to you about, but I'll catch up to you.

Action! Cue the blood.

Abel, dear boy, you gave us quite a fright.

Do you need anything, Abel? How was I, Abel?

That's a wrap.

Good day.

What do I do, Gigi? I bled for my own.

Wasn't enough.

Please, Gigi.

Tell me what to do.

You're my muse.

Thank you, Mother.

Banal. Commonplace.

Conventional. Expected.

Stale. Stock.

Trite. Unimaginative.

Cliché.

Hmm. Cliché. Le mot juste.

Abel Whitman's sense of drama is as cliché as... as... As a critic.

Who lets a thesaurus do her job for her?

Whitman?

Regority.

You're proving my point, Whitman. Coming to my office to confront me?

What are you? The good? The bad?

No, the ugly.

I imagine you thought yourself what? Daring?

Imaginative? Unprecedented?

Well, let me assure you, my good hack, it is just that.

Cliche.

Anyway, what do you want? An interview?

Not an interview.

However, I would like to make a statement.

Really? Shoot.

I'm going to kill you.

And then I'm going to cut up your body into little pieces.

And use them in my movie.

And not necessarily in that order.

Well, Mr. Whitman, you might have finally come up with an original idea.

No. No.

Hold on.

Head.

Okay.

Internal organs.

Roger. Get them all out.

RL? Table.

You're fired.

Fingerprints on a blind eye.

What a great film title.

Film title for the ages.

Genie!

Genie! Whitman, you're a genie!

bulletin has been issued for Georgina Carson, also known as Gigi Spots, who

reported missing after leaving work at a local gentleman's club this past

Thursday. Police are treating the disappearance as suspicious, but so far

no leads.

You have no time, sir.

About that idea I had, Ma.

What, that private dick to find your sister, right?

Right.

Tell you the truth, Carson.

I like it.

You do?

Hell yeah.

You're young, you're perky, you should be in front of the camera more.

Plus, it's a great human interest story. It shows the station has a heart.

Now... This guy you want... Isaac. Yeah, Beaumont, right? Yeah, right.

I hear he's a real character, a story in itself.

He is.

He put the Savannah Strangler behind bars.

Just for the hell of it, Jensen behind bars.

Francis Urban Knuckles behind bars.

He got out, right?

On a technicality.

But Beaumont caught him red -handed and made it thick.

And a dozen more, at least.

All big cases, all closed.

So he's got a big reputation, huh?

And an ego to match, from what I hear.

Follow this thing wherever it takes you, Carson.

I don't know what yet, but I got a feeling something big is going down.

Carson, Mr.

Beaumont is neither here nor is he available to take on any cases at the

Well, when will he be?

Hey, how do you know my name?

Mr. Beaumont gets this, and your station gets exclusive rights to the mystifying

story of how the remarkable Isaac Beaumont cracks another case.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

In that case...

I belong at your lucrative service.

What?

Now, my dear, tell me about it.

My sister was missing.

The police couldn't catch any leads. The police couldn't catch a breath in an

oxygen tent.

So, only your sister missed her, hmm?

Come, my dear.

Come, my dear.

All right.

Prominent local film critic Gretchen Gregorski was found brutally murdered in

her office this morning.

Unconfirmed reports state that pieces of the Polk Award winner's body were

missing and are still unaccounted for.

Truly disturbing.

They want to silence us, you know.

Hmm. Because we artists speak the truth.

So they make us fight amongst ourselves for scraps from their capitalist table.

Yeah, they only really care about their money.

They have no appreciation for the true art form.

What's your film about?

I'm shooting on video, actually.

Video?

It's experimental.

It's about how television is one of today's biggest thieves of time. A

and suggestive instrument that inescapably invades almost every

My film is a subjugation of collected images from this passive medium.

Subjugation?

So what's your film about?

Oh, it's a blood -splattered study in the macabre.

My greatest work ever.

And I'm not about to let you jeopardize it.

Now, let's start eliminating suspects.

What in the name of God Almighty do you think you're doing? Get out!

Darling, get up.

Our sanctity's been interrupted.

Get out of my limousine!

Now!

Believe me when I say we don't want to spend any more time in your company than

is necessary, Reverend Boone.

Just answer a couple of questions for our satisfaction, and we'll be on our

merry way.

For the record, Mr.

Boone. That's Reverend Boone.

Duly ordained by the... Wait a minute.

The record.

You're that reporter from Channel... From Channel. Reverend Ezekiel Boone

low job in limo from stripper. Paid for by church type.

He tells at 11.

If you don't make the answer... Wait a minute, honey child. I wasn't...

Concentrate, Reverend.

Concentrate? Where were you on the evening of Tuesday last?

From 11 p .m. on.

I was right here. Right here on this street. Bringing the word to those that

need it the most.

You can ask any member of my flock.

you can ask any patron of that den of iniquity.

I'm making a point to stare them all in the face as they exit the establishment.

From the sublime to the ridiculous.

We'll check your story.

Thank you for your time, Reverend.

I guess I'm supposed to say that scream as loud as you want.

Nobody's going to hear you anyway.

The walls are thick.

Got its own ventilation system.

And besides, the only person that comes in here anymore is little old me.

Everybody's shooting on video these days.

You know, that little tape.

No strength, no form, no substance.

It's barely real.

I will not be held captive by the hands of patriarchy!

I will not be held captive by the hands of patriarchy!

Kitty?

I can't believe it.

One trillion leaning towers.

Gordon Weisborn, 1943.

He died at the premiere.

They say there was a riot, and he was killed.

Apparently the film drove the audience mad.

And here it is.

I thought all the prints were destroyed, and yet, here it is.

Something brought us together.

Thank you, Mitzi.

Thank you.

Ah, Abel. Just the resident genius I was looking for.

Walk with me.

Abel, what do you think about karate?

Well... Right.

It's exotic.

It's exciting.

It's the next big thing.

Abel, do you know the numbers on karate classes across North America?

No. Of course you don't. That's my job.

But listen, all this chop sake stuff...

All this breaking cinder blocks with your head stuff, it's huge with the

And we need to think about the audience of tomorrow.

Abel, I've been doing some thinking about casting for Terror Toy 2.

But we're already in production, Ozzie.

Sure, sure, it's a creative challenge, I get you.

But this kid... A child?

Really, he's more of a nine -year -old karate champion.

He's been winning competitions all over the place.

His parents are good friends of mine.

But take my word on this.

This kid is going to be huge.

And I think Terror Toy 2 is the perfect launch pad for his career.

Ozzie, there's no room for a child in this film. I won't do it.

Abel, don't make yourself replaceable.

I think we understand one another, don't you?

Or do you want me to write it down on a pink flip?

You can't do that.

It's my film.

This is my film.

Abel, you should spend less time reading cachet of cinema art and more

time reading your contracts.

You see, I'm not your friend.

I'm not your partner.

I'm your boss.

Why are you doing this to me, Ozzie?

Because I can.

You gotta throw your weight around every once in a while, Abel.

Or people forget you got it.

When I walk into a room, people should duck.

So, does the kid stay in the picture?

Gonna have to speak to the writer.

That's the spirit, Abel.

Forget about awards.

Just give me something that'll put black back in the books.

Out of my way.

Abel, we need to talk.

R .L., come in. You can't just fire me and my crew. R .L., R .L., calm down. We

have a contract.

Calm down. Take a seat.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass.

And we'll talk.

Abel, what's with the knife?

Abel?

Abel?

Now, on the subject of Mr. Grober, is Grober his first or last name? Like I

know.

No matter.

It would seem that Grober, as it will suffice to call him, has suffered from

some sort of battlefield trauma.

In the war.

What war?

Shit, man. The war.

His noted habit of setting plastic army men on fire is some sort of traumatic

recreation.

What now?

I heard he burned his own men after they died.

Dosed them with the gasoline they used to burn out the latrine barrels, then

them up.

They wouldn't be cold.

I heard he spent a night buried under corpses in a foxhole.

Just him and a mountain of cold flesh.

After that, that's where he had this thing about the fire.

It's coming back from the shitter you can see for yourself.

Just do me a favor.

Leave me out of it.

Hey, Smitty, watch the bar.

I'm gonna take a shit.

Give me a lousy little more. Give me a lousy little more.

We can safely eliminate Grover the Perfect.

Where did that leave?

From our original list, no one.

But we have a new contender.

A director of all things.

The unlikely name of Abel Whitman?

Let's go find him.

I will find him, Miss Carson.

For the time being, I think you may be more valuable than behind me.

I've had some ideas lately, Alan.

Yeah, I can see that, Abel.

Pretty massive changes here.

I think you might have missed the subject a little bit.

Went ahead and crossed everything out. A lot of stuff becomes important later

on. It's called inspiration, Alan.

Inspiration. Well...

I guess I can make it work.

I'm sure you can.

It's going to be a bitch for a makeup department.

I'll handle that.

Okay. Well, I guess I got a lot of writing to do.

Oh, and Alan?

Yes, Abel?

We share credit.

Sure, Abel, sure.

Oh, you're doing some casting, Mr. Whitman.

What happened to your star?

Do I know you?

I'm a fan of your work.

Really? No.

Nobody's a fan of your work.

Actually, I suspect you of kidnapping.

Possibly murder.

What? You were the last person to see the victim.

What victim?

Georgina Carson.

You probably know her better by her stage name and Gigi Spot.

Gigi? Gigi was... Was Mr. Whitman?

You said was. Past tense.

Is there any reason why you wouldn't talk about her in the present tense?

You didn't let me finish.

The last time I saw Gigi was Tuesday night.

Finally, we agree on something.

Now, exactly how long after you left the gentleman's club did you kill her?

All I did was give her a ride.

I'll assume that's a euphemism.

I'm not a killer.

I'm an artist.

Who makes violent art?

Although reading your reviews, the jury's still out on the art part.

Come now, Mr.

Whoever -You -Are.

Isaac Beaumont.

At someone else's service.

Well, Mr.

Beaumont, surely you're not Philistine enough to think that violent art causes

natural violence.

You didn't answer my question.

Do you want me to do your work for you, Mr. Beaumont? If you wanted to confess

now, I certainly wouldn't complain.

No?

All right, then.

I'll be back.

And what if I'm not here?

You'll be here.

Really?

Why?

You have a film to finish.

He's right.

He's right. I have a film to finish.

Alan, I need a plot device.

Okay, what kind?

A killer.

A killer suspected of murder by a detective.

He can't really flee because there wouldn't be a movie, would there?

So... How did he take this victim off himself?

How would Lubitsch do it?

Well, I've been reading about this heat -activated poison.

You drip it on a light bulb. When the victim turns on a lamp, it turns into

The apartment gets flooded and lethal in minutes.

Is that for real?

Yeah, but it doesn't plug your plot hole, does it?

How about this? Nice and simple.

Uh, the killer killed someone else, assuming that he had it in him.

It is a him, right?

Well, then he can kill someone else, make it look like a suicide, pin his

on the dead man, and, uh... I'll make the suicide note.

What about, uh, make it a confession? What do you think?

I like it. I like it.

Is this something new I should work into the script, Abel? Uh... You let me

worry about that.

Vincent, what else have you got?

A little plan.

A plan?

More of a trap, really.

Faded with?

He's casting for a new film.

He needs a new face.

Eighteen auditions in a row, Gigi.

then the only thing that qualifies any of them to be on film is the fact that

they reflect light.

What am I going to do?

Am I in the right place?

I hope so, because if not, you're just some crazy man who sits around talking

corpses.

Yes, yes, corpse.

It's a fake. It's a fake.

You're here to audition. Tell me you're here to audition.

Yeah, totally.

Wait, you are?

April Carson, WKYTV.

And you do?

Human interest, because we're all human, right?

And the weekend weather, the only weather anyone cares about.

But to tell you the truth, I'm not entirely fulfilled working in

I'm looking for something a bit more...

Could you do a reading?

Totally. Excellent, excellent. You brought the science.

Yeah, but, like, doing Hamlet? What? I mean, isn't that a bit pretentious? This

is for a part in a horror movie, right?

My dear, Hamlet is the greatest work in the history of English literature.

Murder, incest, fear, insanity, suicide.

Murder after murder until the stage is littered with bodies. Do you know what

the greatest work in the history of English literature is? It's a fucking

film!

Okay, then.

Alas, poor York.

Wait.

Here, use this.

What's that smell?

Oh, it's the latex. It's decaying.

And there are things in the fake blood that are fake.

It just smells like that.

Please, continue.

Are you sure? It feels pretty real.

No, it's just a prop.

It's only a prop.

Action!

Alas, poor Yorick.

I knew him, Horatio.

A fellow of infinite jest.

A most excellent fancy.

He hath borne me on his back a thousand times.

Now how abhorred in my imagination it is. My gorge rises at it.

Here hung those lips I kissed.

You know not how oft.

I've been waiting for you.

What happened then?

He had to leave suddenly. He said he remembered an important meeting with an

investor.

But you have the part.

I have a late call to shoot my first scene tomorrow.

Perfect.

I'll look into this, investor.

You're not eating?

Is this really...

Really not hungry.

Isn't this great, babe? I just invested a ton in this. Soon we'll have a whole

fleet of these things.

Ozzie Kohlberg's pole liners. Driving tourists around to see the sights.

So they can see Ozzie City, Ozzie's way.

Yeah, it'll be really classy.

Like in Europe.

And our tour guides will have these sexy beefeater uniforms on, and they'll

narrate the trip as they serve these little individual -sized steak and

pies with little cups of tea.

Yeah. You'll be a big moneymaker.

I thought you were a film producer, Ozzy.

I'm an investor, babe. It doesn't matter if it's movies, vending machines, or

the future of the tourism industry.

If Ozzy Kohlberg's involved...

Where the hell are we?

Stay here.

Time to throw some weight around.

Driver.

Driver.

Whitman.

Where did you get a harpoon?

Harpoon store?

But I put it on the corporate account.

So technically, I didn't buy it.

You did.

And Ozzy? What? You better duck.

I'll keep on!

Shit!

Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! I need... I needed that heart! I needed that heart!

What was I thinking?

What was I thinking?

Why the suicide?

Alex? Yeah?

Abel.

Yeah.

I need to pick your brain for a minute.

The killer commits another murder because the flex is efficient.

But what happens if the way he commits the murder, the audience

doesn't buy his suicide?

What do we do about that?

Well, if it was a satirical sort of thing, the killer could just scrawl some

addendum on the original suicide note, count on a countless self -obsessed

society to just accept it, and everyone goes home early.

Okay.

Mind you, it would probably lead to more murder.

Trying to cover up the cover -up and so on.

Probably be the killer's undoing.

Abel? Abel, are you there? Hello?

Cut! Print that one.

April, you were magnificent.

You bring...

New life to a thing. Abel, Mr. Pharmacist needs to see you in his

says it's urgent.

Take five, everyone.

Abel, come on in. I need to talk to you.

Ozzie's missing.

Missing?

Yeah, he didn't show up.

He's not answering any of his numbers.

Nobody's seen him since yesterday.

I wasn't sure I could say anything, but Ozzy has been acting strangely lately.

He called me on several occasions and asked me for a private meeting.

What did he want?

I'm not sure. I think he wanted...

Wanted to confess something to me. What do you think it was?

I'm sure I don't know. I have no idea.

I don't know what to tell you other than without Ozzy, we can't finish your

film. Now, if you're willing to reconsider what the distributors wanted

do... I'm not going to be dictated to by small mind and large wallet. I'm just

not going to.

Now...

I do have some really good news. Do you remember that competition that we had

for the Arts Council grant?

Yeah. Well, it never showed up, so we're shooing.

Abel.

Did it? You are a lifesaver.

What? When did you get nominated?

You have to be nominated?

Philip, are you serious?

I'm getting... Okay, I...

I'm having my name engraved right now.

I can get your name on one, or you can share it.

Whatever, Philip.

Action.

Cut!

Oh, for Pete's sake, we're out of blood!

That's five everyone.

Maybe you do have the beat for your heart.

Try to find out what's in the vault.

I know Whitman's hiding something.

The investor.

Yes, I found Mr. Colbert.

No.

No, I don't think he'll be of any use to her.

Print that.

And everything else we shot today.

I want to see it all first thing in the morning.

First thing? It's late already, Abel. Nonsense.

It's not late.

It's magic hour.

This is great.

Some of your best work.

I knew you had it in you. From day one.

It's really something, isn't it? I think I've finally gotten inside of Bobo's

head.

Abel. Abel, that's what I'm going to have to tell you.

What is it?

It's Ozzy.

The police found him along with his girlfriend.

Really? Dead.

They say it was a murder -suicide.

That's ghastly. There's more.

More?

Apparently, Ozzy, he's killed other people as well.

No.

Yeah.

A stripper.

Critic. Gagarski.

And most of our special effects crew.

They're still finding pieces.

I just got a bill for the harpoon that Ozzie used to stand it on.

It's all here in the late edition.

He used company money.

And the police say it's evidence.

Venus is what I'd call it. I'm absolutely aghast.

But it would make a great movie.

Which reminds me, I've organized a screening of a film I found in

Walls. It's called One Trillion Leaning Tower.

We don't have a copy of that. Yes, we do.

I thought that was an urban legend.

No, it's real, and we have to show it.

We really have to show the people what filmmaking is all about. What real

filmmaking, what the art of filmmaking is all about. We've got to snap them out

of their complacency. We've got to show them the suffering and the hurt and the

pain that goes into filmmaking.

We've got to really shake them up.

We could use it as publicity for Terror Toy 2.

Pa.

Pa?

The suicide note was an obvious forgery.

You don't need a Beaumont -sized intellect to see the police accepted it

so they could go home early.

Colberg wasn't the killer?

Colberg wasn't the killer.

The man who killed Gigi is still out there. Oh, yes.

It's Whitman.

I know it.

I just need some proof.

Something the police can't even ignore.

You sure?

It's just... It's so hard to believe he's so passionate.

Passion is just insanity in a cashmere sweater.

Well, it's too late.

The station won't pay anymore.

Just say the case is closed.

It's over.

When Isaac Beaumont takes on a case, no one takes him off.

Besides, I cast your station's check days ago.

So what are we going to do now?

You are going to go shoot your next scene.

I'm going to go talk to the dead.

Still got it, Alan.

I took your advice, Alan.

My advice?

Yeah, your advice.

About killing somebody and framing them in order to throw the police off my

scent.

You mean your character's scent.

And then it occurred to me that in order for me to complete my alibi, I'd have

to get rid of the one person who could finger me.

Uh, Abel, are we still talking about the script?

I'm taking the script out of your hands, Alan!

the way that sounds. I really like the way that sounds.

Alan, your hands are bleeding!

Alan, did I tell you? I'm gonna kill everybody!

It's me, Alan, and your hands are bleeding!

Did I happen to mention that your hands are bleeding?

Your hands are bleeding!

It's Bobo!

He's gonna kill everyone!

And cut!

That's a print.

You're better every day, April.

But today, you're acting as if your life depended on it.

I want... I want to believe in you, Abel, that you... I think I may be in

over my head.

Nonsense. Abel, my boy, could I have a word?

What could it possibly be that is so important that you would interrupt me?

An endangered species called professionalism, Abel.

Listen, I've been reading ahead in the script, and I noticed some

inconsistencies between scene 84 and your new scenes 84A and 84B.

Abel, we need to make some decisions.

I've been thinking... We'll discuss it this evening.

We'll meet in Alan's office.

I'd really appreciate your input.

But of course.

Miss Carson.

I've disproved the adage that dead men tell no tales.

And in so doing, I have proven the identity of our killer.

All that remains now is to reveal it to the public with my trademark flair.

Really.

Screaming.

To be televised live.

Could you provide me with access to a camera and a pair of actors?

Good.

Well, to catch a thief, think like a thief.

To catch a filmmaker, think like a filmmaker.

Isaac Beaumont is about to make his directorial debut.

Abel?

Abel?

What in the devil's name are you doing there, sitting in the dark, Abel?

Abel, what is that smell?

About your concern about the continuity. I appreciate that.

You've got a really good eye.

I don't know what happened.

I have no idea.

Abel?

Hey, Boog. It's like Alan was writing with his hands cut off.

Hey, Boog.

Turn on the lights.

Oh, sure.

Beautiful shot.

I always said you have a really good eye, Omar.

Armand can't be with us today.

So I'll be handling the camera.

This is the first time in seven films that he's missed a shoot.

But in a way, I feel like part of him is still here with us.

So let's give it our best today.

This one is for Armand.

Are we ready?

Um, Abel?

Yes? I think I still need my prop.

Right. Right.

Perfect. Hold that expression.

Speed.

Action.

Bobo, is all this killing... Bobo, is all this

killing really on an end?

I brought you the eyes of the innocent.

so you could stalk your victims, to show the world the horrors you've seen in

the worlds beyond.

These will make the completion of your human host body, and then... And then?

And then?

And then, will all this killing really be an end?

Or just that it's the beginning?

Perfect! Done in one!

Um, Abel, I think we're gonna be late for the show and I still need to do my

hair.

Can you believe it?

Actual lethal cinema. And we get to see it in person.

No, I don't. I don't believe they even actually have a print.

Miss Pasolini looks like Gary Marshall.

Who's putting this on again?

Whitman. Abel Whitman.

Jesus, I hope he makes a movie someday.

I'm April Carson, and we're here at the Vitown Cinema to witness film history

when trillions leaning towers.

Allow me to introduce the man responsible for this screening and

consequences may be,

Abel Whitman.

Good evening, April. I wanted to begin with... And on this night of mysteries,

man who makes his living...

Solving mysteries.

Isaac Beaumont.

Final reel, Mr. Whitman.

Thank you, April.

But I'm not here as a detective this evening.

I'm here as an artist.

What?

Tell us more, Mr. Beaumont. I've directed a short film to be played

tonight's main feature.

Tell me, Mr. Whitman, are you familiar with Shakespeare?

Hamlet, in particular.

I'm familiar with Shakespeare.

And I have the theory on Hamlet that perhaps it was the first horror film...

Well, I base my film on the short scene in Hamlet, commonly known as the play

within the play, or the mousetrap.

I am curious to see how an artist of your standing reacts to it.

What's the title, Mr. Beaumont?

I call it The Murder of Grigorski.

Sounds great. Let's watch.

Congratulations, Mr. Beaumont. Now you know what it is to be a true artist.

Get away with it?

But I already have, Miss Cartman. Your Isaac film only is just another body on

pile of body.

Look, I don't know why Abel said that. I really don't. But why distribution is

what we've been after since day one. All right? Look, I got to go. I got to go.

Abel? Abel, is that you?

Hey, I stole our distribution.

You did? What? Yes.

I told you. This film has to remain completely independent.

But that's what I've been after from day one.

Forget it?

Put your hands in.

You're not gonna get away with this! Abel?

Abel? Abel, I brought the prop you wanted.

Um, should I come back later?

It's Carson.

You'll be immortalized in Abel Whitman's next film, whether you like it or not.

Rolling.

Feet.

that, Mr.

Beaumont? Who do you think you are?

I am the centerboard, Mr. Whitman, and you have violated community standards.

Who do you think it is?

Fade to black.

That

was

for Gigi.

Gigi. Oh my god, Gigi.

All my life, I've had the perfect

film in my head that I've never been able

to screen.

And now, finally, I

get the chance to see it.

Another case brought to a successful completion.

You should celebrate.

Perhaps over dinner.

You appear to have room.

I guess my dead sister's severed head.

I think instead of dinner, I might need to go get some trauma counseling.

As you wish.

I think you've seen about enough.

You're really not acting like someone who's working for me, Mr. Beaumont.

This is exactly the

kind of film I wanted to make from the first film. This is exactly what I

to make.

Consecrate? Well, I hardly need to concentrate.

Con... I'll try again.

Consecrate?

Concentrate.

Concentrate.

Concentrate.

I am the censor board, Mr. Whitman.

And you have violated community standards.

Oh, hold on.

Sorry.

We're about to show you a new moot moot.

Dang it. That's fine.

As a great bard said, when sorrows come, they come not as single spies.

but in Bethlehem.

There's things in the blood that are fake.

And I fucked up the line.

And I lost my line.

And I forgot my line. And I forgot my line.

I've run out of lines.

That stripper.

That critic.

Gregor Steak.

And, uh, crap.

And crack?

He needs to go to the bathroom, folks. Can we have a five -minute break?

Yeah, that's excellent. One more of those.

I have

final customers to Beaumont!

Yeah, but does it plug your plot hole?

Sorry.

I'm supposed to be like that, what do you want from me?

Look at you, okay?