All language subtitles for Real.Time.with.Bill.Maher.S23E29.720p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta[EZTVx.to]

Start the clock.

How you doing?

Thank you very much.

Thank you, people. How are you?

Thank you very much.

So great to see you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Right back at you. And I appreciate you
being in a good mood

because, you know, you're going to have
to live with the government without the

government for a while.

Why are we laughing at that?

I feel like we do this every fucking
year, this story.

Government shutdown, government
shutdown, and Trump is devastated about

know how much he loves the government.

He said, next you're going to tell me
Wendy's is all out of salad.

Yes.

Government's closed. I'm going to have
to play more golf.

Luckily, he's negotiating calmly and in
good faith.

I'm joking, of course.

He said today, tweeted out, that the
Democrats are the party of hate, evil,

Satan. Good faith.

Which is so ridiculous. If they ran
Satan, they would have won Florida.

I kid Florida. I love Florida.

But now, Trump knows how to negotiate
this. We're going to get over this.

You know how you do it? You get
everybody in a room, preferably a

you say, nobody's leaving here until you
check out these cherubs.

These, these not.

It is, uh, oh.

Sheriffs, this is a manly
administration.

I don't know if you saw the other big
thing that happened in Washington this

week. Our defense secretary, Pete
Hegseth, he called in from

all over the world the 800 highest
ranking service people we have, the

and the admirals from all over the
world. Did you see that room? Oh, my

there was more crew cuts than in a
lesbian bar.

But, um...

Because that is the thing you want to do
most.

You want to get your most critical
people in the command structure all

in one room.

Hopefully with the doors locked from the
outside.

And then Pete gave them a TED Talk about
how much he is hatted with the

military, which is too gay, too woke,
too sloppy, too badly groomed, too

He's not wrong about that last one for
sure.

Well, no, these are facts. Almost 70 %
of the military, did you know this, is

overweight. The song the Marines sing
now is from the halls of Montezuma to

tours of Triple X.

Well, you know, come on.

But he says that shit, and now we are
changing our motto from Semper Fi to No

Fat Chicks.

By the way, I love this. He included the
generals in this. There's too many fat

generals and admirals walking around the
halls of the Pentagon. Are you kidding?

This was supposed to be an exercise in
morale building.

Because nothing pumps you up like taking
a 22 -hour flight to be yelled at by a

Fox News dry drunk about your love
handles.

I love this. And you know, a few weeks
ago they changed the name of the Defense

Department to the Department of War. So
that's how we started. He said, welcome.

The War Department is now the Department
of Defense.

No, the other way around. The Department
of Defense is now the Department of

War, you fucking hippies.

And he called them and said,

He said, no more beardos. I'm not
kidding. He used that word. I'd never

that word. Apparently a combination of
weirdo and beard.

No more beardos. And they did his
shaving private Ryan hunk.

It's funny. Half the speech was about a
warrior ethos that we want and manly

men. And the other half was grooming
tips.

Really?

Because...

Nothing says warrior ethos like, what
products do you use?

So, to recap, no gays, just buff,
hairless men.

And no beard. That's when Lindsey Graham
went, what, no

beard?

are here.

But first off, oh, I've wanted him on
for a long time. An Emmy Award winning

writer, actor, director, and comedian
with his forthcoming novel now, Ingram,

comes out November 11th. Louis C .K.

All right, I think I will let that
standing ovation speak for itself.

Sure, thank you. And get right to

the book, because, Louie, you're a

novelist now. You've worn so many hats,
and now you're wearing the hat of a

novelist. I just want to know why.

You know, I looked at some of the stats
about how much novels sell. Yeah. In a

country of, I think, 340 million people,
if they sell 10 ,000, it's like a hit.

It's incredible. So you're doing it for
the money.

Yes, exactly.

Yeah. But really, why get into a dying
art form like that?

Well, I love fiction and I love writing.
And I wanted to be a novelist when I

was a kid. That's what I wanted.

But in high school, I did a lot of
drugs.

And I kind of ran my brain dry.

And so then I got into comedy and TV,
which is a little easier.

than writing novels but i think i
regenerated more brain cells i don't

it is but i got into it i got into
writing short stories a few years ago

then this one just turned it just kept
going i didn't expect it to be one i

didn't outline it or anything it just
kept coming well i i told you i called i

said it reminds me a lot first of all of
dickens oh dickens he was a novelist he

was

Because the kids don't make them read
anything anyway. And a great one. And

Mark Twain, a little bit. It's very
Huckleberry Finney. I mean, it's so

interesting because, I mean, why don't
you tell basically what it is. It's

called Ingram, and it's the story of a
boy in the Depression. Just give me the

skinny of it. Yeah, so there's this boy
who's sitting on the porch outside his

house, and there's like a pig sleeping
next to him, and that's his life. Like,

he's never been to school.

His parents have very little, and
they're struggling.

And one day his father says, I'm going
to sell the horse, and tells his mother

to slop all the animals and take care of
stuff. And he never comes back.

Him and his mother are kind of like
starving. So his mother just tells him,

should go because I can't help you. So
he's like nine and he just hits the

And he's never seen a highway.

He's never been anywhere. So it's him
discovering the world. And everything is

through his first person eyes. Yeah.
What reminded me of the Dickens thing.

he doesn't even know what pavement is.
So he calls it like hard gray dirt.

Right. And so I just took him. He was in
my head and I just kind of dictated.

Usually they say, write what you know.

Yeah. This didn't seem like that.

No.

I just was like, why? I didn't know what
the book was when I got it. I was like,

wow. Is this Louis' childhood?

Well, I mean, I had, my dad wasn't
around, but my mom worked really hard

raised four kids. But you knew pavement.

Sure, I knew pavement, yeah. I knew it
really well, actually.

I used to eat gum off of pavement. I'm
not even, I did.

In the summer, it gets warm and you can
get it off.

But I grew up in a suburb of Boston, and
my mom was working all day, so I was

alone a lot. I had sisters, but they
were living their own lives, and I used

to... Being a boy can be really lonely,
you know? Now, I had a great mother.

So Ingram is like me without a mom, you
know, in Texas, I guess. I mean, you

must have done so much research, though,
because... No?

No, nothing. No, I just... Yeah.

But like they were in an oil refinery at
one point. Yeah, it gets really deep

into the details of an oil refinery. How
did you know? I've never been on one. I

have no idea.

I've never read about one or watched a
movie about one. I just imagined how

must do it, and I made it up.

The other thing is because of Ingram's
innocence, we're only seeing the way he

saw it. Do you know what I mean? Right.
I just asked him to tell me what was

going on. I never felt in control of the
story. He just was telling me what he

saw, you know. And some of it gets
really weird. He sees some things that

not sure what they were, so I don't
know. I mean, it's so moving because he

has this cycle of life where he keeps
thinking it's going to get better, and

then it's three steps forward, two steps
back. Yeah. And he keeps trying to

connect with people, and they always
seem to abandon him. He finally does

make... one friend, this character Bart.

Yeah. And then they're roommates at
this, I guess this oil refinery. Yeah.

life. Yeah. And they're in the same
small room.

And I noticed you go into one, he kind
of loses this friend because one night

Ingram discovers masturbation. That's
right.

And kind of pays a high price for that.

Yeah. Where do you get your ideas?

Well, like you said, write what you
know.

Well, I read

the book carefully. I really loved it.

So you're going to Saudi Arabia. I am.
You're part of this big festival over

there. Yes.

What do you think about the fact that we
have a schism here in the comedy

community? Now, I'm going to throw my
cards on the table here. Sure.

I have mixed feelings about this, but I
basically think it's a great idea to go

anywhere like that. Mm -hmm.

purists bug me because they think change
has to happen overnight.

Change doesn't ever happen overnight.
There are restrictions on what you can

because this is the first time. But
somebody has to go the first time and do

your act. You're not allowed to talk
about religion or the royals. Well,

is the government and religion. Without
that, I would have no act. Right.

Right.

I still think the people who are doing
it are brave, and apparently the ones

over there are enjoying it. Yes. What
I'm talking about are the comedians that

have been there, and they've been really
surprised by what's going on. There is

a woman who's a lesbian and Jewish who
did a show there, and she got a standing

ovation. And so there's stuff going on
that's unexpected in this thing.

And people have been playing Saudi
Arabia for years. Like, comedians have

going and playing Arab countries.

There was a film festival there recently
like it's kind of opened up, but I've

always said no to Arab countries Doing I
do shows everywhere like this show. I'm

playing in India. I'm playing in Turkey
I'm playing in Bangkok Hong Kong all

over the world this year and when this
came up

they said there's only two restrictions,
their religion and their government.

I don't have jokes about those two
things. It used to be when I got offers

places like that, there'd be a long
list. And I just say, no, I don't need

But when I heard its opening, I thought,
that's awfully interesting.

That just feels like a good opportunity.

And I just think comedy is a great way
to get in and start talking.

And there's Saudi Arabian comedians
there.

And I'm going to a comedy club in Saudi
Arabia the first night I get there to

just see what's going on. I love stand
-up comedy, and I love comedians. So the

fact that that's opening up and starting
to bud, I want to see it. I want to be

part of it. I think that's a positive. I
think so, too.

Dave Chappelle said that he was in the
press today saying that you can speak

more freely over here than in America.

I don't know if that's true. Oh, it's
not true.

No, no.

Do your hunk on Muhammad, Dave. Yeah.

Well, he's a Muslim, David.

I understand.

So it depends on who you are and what
you want to talk about. Now, if you go

there, there's a pre -decide, like
there's the thing you buy into. Do you

to work here? Then don't talk about
these two things.

Other than that, my act is pretty
offensive to most people.

So it's going to be interesting.

to see how that feels.

To me, that's just an opportunity.

Your act is not offensive. It's edgy.

It's offensive.

You wouldn't be nearly as popular as you
are. No, definitely.

It's worthy.

I think the whole discussion is worthy.

I'm glad these guys brought this stuff
up. I'm glad that people are challenging

this thing because you shouldn't just
pretend it's something it's not. So

fool yourself.

I'm grateful to the comics that brought
it up.

David Cross and Marc Maron. It's funny
because David and I were roommates when

we were 19 years old. We lived together
in Boston. And we were just scrappy

young guys. And Marc was there too. He
was a dishwasher at a place called The

Coffee Connection. And we were just kids
trying to be comics in Boston.

David had this bit about shaving the
Pope's pussy. That was one of his bits.

And I just loved him because he was so,
you know. And then later, David Cross

wrote an open letter to Larry the Cable
Guy telling him to quit comedy. You can

look that up because he hated him. So
he's an opinionated guy.

These guys were my friends. I used to
hang out with them constantly.

And what brought us together was that we
were comedians and we loved comedy.

And they're on the other side of the
divide. Yeah, they're on the other side

the debate. And we've drifted as
friends, and I miss them. But it's just

to me. Today I was thinking about that,
that all this crazy thing going on,

those two guys.

And then I walked by a car that didn't
have a driver. And I was like, it's the

future now.

And life is so weird that my roommate
and I are in this weird, you know what I

mean? But I'm grateful for what he said,
because you should say that side too.

I think everything that's being said
about it, that's a worthy discussion.

When are you appeasing? When are you
engaging?

And I have mixed feelings about it, too.
I struggled about going once I started

hearing what everyone was saying.

No, you're doing the right thing. But,
well, I don't know.

There's some.

There's some good in it, maybe some bad
in it, but I think for me it cuts

towards going.

And that's my decision, and I know where
it's coming from because I can see

right inside myself.

And everything is about the future.

What do you think about the future? Let
me ask you one final question. AI. I'm

so curious about where you are on AI,
because I feel like maybe this is just

because we're comics and I love us.

So I think that we are like the last
thing AI can do. I think if AI could do

what you could do, then the world is
over.

Because what somebody like you does
is...

think of things that have never been
thought of before.

That's why it's a bit. If anybody had
ever thought of it, it wouldn't be

It wouldn't be a bit.

And AI can only look into the past and
whatever on the Internet forever.

I don't think it can ever do what we do.

Well, I think AI can imitate us really
well. AI can probably listen to me and

make a bit that sounds like me. But it
can't come up with a new comedian.

Like I have a friend who's an editor and
editors are getting wiped out by AI

because AI can see the rhythm of editing
and it can imitate it. But the problem

is those new jobs for editors and
writers, the schleppy jobs, that's where

editors and writers come from. The
training ground is doing the early.

small position jobs, and then having an
idea, what if you did it this way? The

reason that art keeps growing is because
there's weird people with unpredictable

ideas, like mutating it. But I think the
problem, AI will be so efficient that a

lot of companies will do it, but it'll
freeze. It'll freeze the progress.

But that'll just be for the companies
that do it. Somebody else will go, we're

doing natural art.

And they'll end up winning because
people like to connect with other

is about connecting with people.

So, all right, well, there's a funny
thing

going on where if you want to write a
letter to somebody, you can write the

bullet points, and then AI will write
the letter.

And then the person who gets it can get
AI to read it and give you bullet

points.

So what the fuck is that?

Right. All right.

Well, if you're still enjoying 20th 19th
century stuff, Louis' book is called

Ingram. I loved it. He's the new Mark
Twain. All right, Louis C .K.

We'll see you, pal. Be careful over
there. All right. I'll see you soon.

Time to meet our panel.

Okay. Hey, guys.

All right, he is a political commentator
for CNN and the founder of DreamMachine

.org and Rapport .co. Van Jones! Yeah,
Van the man.

Back with us, looking good as always.
He's a best -selling author and three

-time Pulitzer Prize -winning reporter
and columnist for The New York Times.

Friedman, Tom.

It's been way too long since I've seen
you.

And, uh...

The comedy and media gods have blessed
us because you were here on the perfect

night because it's Friday here in Los
Angeles and October 3rd. And it looks

maybe peace is at hand, as Henry
Kissinger once said about another war in

Middle East. I don't know. This is just,
again, what we're getting today as of

October 3rd.

Trump said he believed Hamas was ready
for a lasting peace, demanded Israel

the bombing.

Hamas said they are ready to release all
the Israeli.

Hostages. After they killed

almost all of them.

Let's not get too excited about that.
Based on field conditions, I don't know

what that means, but this peace plan,
you called it a smart plan in your

yesterday. You say yes. Qatar say yes.
Where are we?

Well, Bill, this was a very important
day, obviously. And the key thing was,

what would Trump say?

to Hamas's response, which was a yes,
but basically.

Would Trump say, sorry, yes,
unconditionally to everything I laid

Or would Trump say, love it, work with
it, going with it? And Trump said, love

it, work with it, going with it, which
means we're at the beginning of another

really long negotiation.

Yeah, I mean, here's the sticking point.
Gaza will be governed under this plan.

This is one of the points of their 20
-point plan by a technocratic,

Palestinian committee.

And there's lots of those over there.

I mean, if it's one thing I've always
heard about the Middle East, it's

are low.

They run low.

What does that mean?

Can anyone?

Look, I'll take hope wherever I can find
it at this point.

Any country would have fought back hard
if people had done what was done on

October 7th. We've got to remember that.

It's the equivalent of 40 ,000 Americans
being murdered on one day. And so you

are going to fight back. You're going to
fight back hard. But revenge is not a

strategy. And the problem you have now
is that this war has gone on so long

80 % of Israelis want it to wind down.
They just want the hostages back.

So I'm glad that Trump is trying.

I'm glad he's putting pressure on the
different parties. But what we know for

sure is that the but is bigger than the
yes right now. They said yes to get the

headline, but there's a whole bunch of
buts here that we're going to have to

work our way through.

My concern is that you have about a
billion young people on planet Earth.

who only heard one thing about Israel in
their entire lives, and that's that

Israel is hurting the Gazans.

They live through TikTok. That's all
they see. That's all they know. And my

concern is I think some of my friends in
Israel think they've got a hard power

military problem against local bad
actors.

That's true, but they also have a soft
power global information war problem

a whole generation that just thinks that
they're doing bad stuff. So if they can

stop the bombing, which Trump called
for, and give people a chance to look at

what's going on, we can put the focus
back on the hostages and maybe get this

thing wound down.

You said in your column Netanyahu can
declare with some justification Israel

defending Western democratic values by
defeating the Islamofascist Hamas in

Gaza.

What could be more important than that?
I mean, if you agree with that, and I

agree with that, aren't we burying the
lead? Isn't that the story of this war,

clash of civilizations?

And whose side are we on?

The problem for Israel, Bill, is that
that has been true on that front with

Hamas. And at the same time, Israel in
the West Bank has been engaged in a

Western -style colonial enterprise.

And the problem was it didn't want to...
Always or are you saying recently?

Recently. I mean, with this government
in particular, this is the first Israeli

government that came in with a mandate
to annex the West Bank.

So that's been the problem for the very
beginning.

My view on the war was that Israel was
fully justified in responding.

But this was a very different enemy,
Hamas, because it had...

basically stationed itself in tunnels
under all these civilian hospitals and

homes, etc.

So there's always going to be a lot of
civilian casualties.

It seemed to me the key thing for Israel
was to make clear, we're going to go

after these people, we're going to do
what we have to do. There are going to

civilian casualties, but it's for the
purpose of changing Gaza and producing a

different Palestinian government there.
Unfortunately, Netanyahu fought this war

for two years now without ever
committing himself to any endgame,

negotiation with a different...
Palestinian authority, or a different

Palestinian government.

And that's what's hurt to Van's point,
that when you're fighting a war, and

there's no endgame, clear, it just
starts to look like killing. Well, what

the endgame be? I don't know. I mean,
they gave Gaza back in 2005.

They unilaterally gave it back.

They have offered... Bill, you know, let
me just say that, you know, we can get

into this debate, what would the endgame
be, but this is my reaction to that,

okay? The endgame, if you, you can win
that debate, But what you win as Israel

is you win 7 million Jews governing 7
million Palestinians in perpetuity in

age of TikTok.

And that's a losing strategy. It is. And
so all I've been about is trying to,

from the very beginning, figure out how
to end this thing in a way where there

is a Palestinian partner and you have a
real alternative to Hamas. Otherwise,

Israel winning, you win Gaza forever.

And that's a bad, bad thing if you care
about the future of the Jewish state. I

agree that's a bad...

Look, I just don't know what the better
look is.

I mean, it's like when you deal with
suicide bombers, it's very hard, or

who uses suicide attacks, it's very hard
to win and negotiate with someone who

doesn't care if they live.

And let's be honest, Hamas is a kind of
a death cult.

They have to be defeated. But you have
to keep working for an alternative

because if you don't, that is the
default. You end up owning Gaza. And

really bad thing. One thing about Bibi
Netanyahu, who is not my favorite

politician at all, is that he could just
take a W at this point. I agree with

you. Trying to figure out how to get all
this stuff worked all the way through

is difficult.

But Hezbollah is essentially
decapitated.

That's a win.

The Assad regime is gone.

Iran has been pushed way back.

Hamas definitely is no longer, if they
think they can do it October 7th again,

they're probably going to reconsider it.
So there is a victory here on the hard

power side.

I think the problem is now on both
sides.

How do you begin to reestablish Israel
as the beacon?

for the young people around the world.
In 10 years, the young people right now,

in 10 years, they'll be in parliament.
In 10 years after that, they're going to

be prime ministers.

And right now, they don't get the joke.
They've lost the plot.

And so I think I'm much less concerned
about figuring out what's happening

inside a Palestinian society than global
youth society, and that's where we're

losing the plot.

But isn't part of that because we had to
fold everything into critical race

theory, and somehow the Middle East
became part of, you know... I see it

differently. And I love this
conversation because I think people,

who went to college, give a lot more
credit to college courses for how the

works than I do. This is not about
critical race theory on college

This is about Iran.

Iran and Qatar have come up with a
disinformation campaign that they are

through TikTok and Instagram that is
massive. If you are a young person, you

open up your phone and all you see is
dead Gaza baby, dead Gaza baby, dead

baby, bitty.

Dead guys evading, dead guys evading.

That's basically their whole theme.

So that's not DEI. That is a
geopolitical adversary that is

deliberately trying to divide the West
against itself. That view is not, but

idea that, I mean, you're talking about
young people. A lot of them seem to know

one thing. White people did some very
bad things in this world, and they

certainly did.

But there are other things to know. Yes.

Including the fact that in Sudan right
now, which nobody is talking about, you

have... Arab militia murdering people by
the wheelbarrow, including the fact

that Africa right now is being overrun
by Islamist terrorists, including Boko

Haram, with no conversation about that
at all. I did it last week.

Nigeria. I mean, this is an actual
planned genocide.

Yes. I mean, they really want to kill
all the Christians in that country, and

they are systematically doing it. And
the fact that there's almost no response

from the global left and no attention
from mainstream media is a crime

against... African people, black people,
and human rights, I agree with that

100%. It turns out that there's a double
standard for Jews.

That is true.

No Jews, no news.

As long as you can put the Jewish state
in the conversation, it's going to be a

big conversation.

If you can't, you get no attention at
all. This is a big problem.

It's a big problem. The thing is,
though, when you're in a hole, quit

I would like for Israel to stop doing
what it's doing now, to give people a

chance to catch up this conversation. As
long as it's just bad picture after bad

picture after bad picture, we're not
going to be able to get anywhere.

Your column, you said, in Washington,
officials lie in public and tell the

in private.

And in the Middle East, it's the
opposite. They tell the truth in private

lie in public.

What do you mean by that?

What I meant, Bill, is that when I was a
reporter in the Middle East, I'll tell

you a story. I was in Israel, and
Yitzhak Rabin, then the defense

talking about South Lebanese. He said,
the South Lebanese don't behave and stop

doing what they're doing.

We're going to break their bones.

Happened to me that day I had an
appointment with Rabin.

That's a pretty powerful quote. Went to
his office.

Mr. Defense Minister, if South Lebanese
don't behave the way you argue, what

will happen to them? If they don't
behave the way they should, something

going to happen to them, okay?

You realize he was talking to the New
York Times, okay?

So what people say to you in private in
the Middle East is irrelevant.

All that matters is what they will
defend.

in public, in their own language. And
that's why I always listen to that. And

that's why I listen to when Netanyahu
went home from the meeting with Trump.

He was much more circumspect than he was
at the White House.

And look, this is going to be a really
hard negotiation.

But my approach to it, to pick up on
Van's point, is I don't want to win a

debate. I want to see Israel thrive.

And what Hamas wanted from the very
beginning, Bill, was to get Israel stuck

the sands of Gaza forever. Because they
knew in this world of social media,

that's how they could bleed them. That
was the asymmetry they could use.

And all I'm saying is, you know, the
history of this conflict really is the

history of war timeout, war timeout, war
timeout, war timeout.

And what the history is really about is
who did what during the timeout.

Israel built a pretty amazing economy,
society, and country.

Palestinians didn't for a million other
reasons. Get to the timeout. Don't get

stuck in their world. That's my whole
philosophy.

A little of the news from the Middle
East.

Apropos of our discussion about Saudi
Arabia and the Middle East, I see in

Afghanistan they...

took down the Internet, and now they
have put it back up.

Apparently they took it down. I read in
the paper there's been some dispute

about why they did it, but apparently it
was because it causes immorality. This

would not be out of custom with the
Taliban. Since we pulled out in 2021,

are some of the things the Taliban has
done.

Mannequins had to be beheaded.

That's not a joke.

What? Mannequins. We're too much for
them.

Mannequins.

I've seen ones in department stores here
that look beheaded. And that's like a

look. But here they did it.

Education for girls? No.

They couldn't go to the parks.

Couldn't go to the park.

Meryl Streep famously said it,
testifying, a squirrel has more rights

girl in Afghanistan because a squirrel
can go to the park.

They shut down a beauty salon.

They shut down...

Women couldn't, of course, they have to
wear the full body covering, hearing

other women's voices.

So they had to, you not only can't talk,
now you can't listen.

So when I saw this story about the
Afghan internet going down, I said,

we used to do a thing on this show
called Revealing Google Searches. And

that they're back up there in
Afghanistan, we're going to do a

Afghan edition of Google Search. For

example,

fun gift ideas for celebrating 9 -11.

Where to watch tonight's beheading?
Well, sure, that's...

What's the exchange rate between the U
.S. dollar and my daughter?

Can a chopped off hand grow back?

Well, that's a good one.

Is Paul Rudd Jewish? Wow. Even in
Afghanistan,

they do it after.

Oh, step -sister stoning videos.

What year is it?

Couldn't the NFL find someone better
than Bad Bunny? Oh, even in Afghanistan?

Sidney Sweeney fully clothed.

Are videos of

women driving cars real or AI?

And of course... How to cancel Disney+.
It's everywhere in the world.

Let's get to the domestic news.

OK, this is if you went to the
Department of Agriculture's website

said Trump.

You got to say politically, no one can
touch him due to the radical left

Democratic shutdown. OK, right away,
right off the bat.

We've had so many shutdowns. Nobody ever
did that. But that's how we played the

game. So if you're not following this,
what's going on here is that during

COVID, they expanded the Obamacare.

credits so that people could get health
care. I've never understood, by the way,

the bizarre Republican obsession with
taking health care away from people.

I mean, first of all, I mean, Mitt
Romney did it in Massachusetts, and it

Republican idea.

Like, people are getting free health
care in the emergency room. Let's stop

that. No freeloaders. We're Republicans.

I just don't get it. How many times did
they try to kill Obamacare? Then they

did get rid of the mandate.

It still survived.

But this is the only leverage Democrats
have. Democrats want to restore this and

some of the Medicaid cuts. This is about
health care. Democrats think this is

the one issue we have and this is the
one leverage we have, which is to shut

down the government because, after all,
they don't have any other power.

And the question I'm asking is.

Who's going to win this? Can they?
Because people will lose that. Kaiser

predicts premium payments in 26 will
more than double if the ACA enhanced

premium tax credits expire.

Can the pain that people feel be
connected to the Trump administration?

This has been the hard thing for
Democrats always. Can you connect the

the people providing it?

I'm going to maybe piss off some of my
Democratic friends, but I think you can

always trust our party to do the wrong
thing at the wrong time for the right

reason. OK, so here's the problem.

Right now, if the Democrats don't do
anything and they pass this clean

resolution, which they don't want to do,
if they did it, guess what would happen

this month?

Premiums would start going through the
roof this month.

By the time you get to the end of
November, you would have Americans

the streets saying, I can't pay 150 %
more for my insurance premiums. What the

heck is going on?

Instead, we decided to not let that
happen and shut the entire government

So now people are going to be mad about
the post office and 100 other things

that Republicans can then blame on us.
So I'm like, I get it. The base is

The base wants us to do something.
Please do something. Do anything.

But something probably shouldn't be
throwing a bunch of people out of work

the federal government and crushing
America's government's ability to

right before the pain was about to
start. So that's my concern.

My reaction is related to your
reflection about what they put on those

They did it at the Department of
Education, too. Like if you got an out

-work message that came up that said,
you know, basically the Democrats closed

the government. They forced people to
put that on, or they just put that on

people's phone messages or email
messages.

I'm actually looking more at
independence.

Because the question for me is not
what's happening now. What's going to

in the midterm?

Because everything to me is about the
midterm.

Democrats have to get power. And I think
the key...

is going to be what independents do.
They really gave Trump the last

And I want to go back again to your
introduction.

I think independents are looking at all
this stuff, hate speech, Trump's press

conference with Netanyahu, these kinds
of things. And they're sitting back and

saying, there is some crazy shit going
on.

And I am not comfortable with it.

This is just really getting out of
control.

My hope, my sense.

Because I'm kind of an independent
myself, that that's where people are

and that's what will determine the 20th.
Honestly, Tom, crazy shit has not moved

them for 10 years.

I remember being on this show the night.

of the debate when Trump was ranting
about eating the dogs.

And I was like, that has gotten me.

That just was the most unhinged thing
I've ever seen.

But we have had an election. I mean,
take it for what it's worth. You know,

Sioux City, Iowa, these seats that have
flipped.

Spanberger and Virginia now hugely
ahead. I just think a lot of

looking at this and saying, this is
getting, and not just... The whole

authoritarian movement is really scary
stuff.

And I think that's what I'm hoping for.

There's lots of things they don't like.
To your point, I mean, I look at the

list of, apparently, I didn't see this,
but I'm just going by what the list of

government...

offices, departments that are affecting
this the most. So I assume the Trump

administration is the one who decides
when they cut off money from the

government because we have no more
money. October 1st was the fiscal new

always throw a rager.

And now there's no more money, but they
keep some people working. Well, like

EPA, they closed down like 89 % of the
EPA.

So they're just going to close down the
shit they wanted to close down anyway.

And the economy, we were going to get
very, very bad job numbers today. And,

course, Donald Trump, a .k .a. the
luckiest man in the world.

Now we won't have those numbers at all.
But if the economy goes into shitter,

He's going to say, well, the Democrats
closed down the government. That's what

did it. It was all going fine until
then. I like the fact that we have this

leverage, and I just want to use it at
the right time. Right.

Give it until, I would have said, and
the weird thing is, I talked to Chuck

Schumer about this like three months
ago, and he was kicking me in the butt.

because I had been tough on him for not
allowing the government to shut down.

And he convinced me that shutting the
government down is stupid. Back on TV,

he says, we're now shutting the
government down. So hold on a second,

once convinced me to give him a million
dollars and not shut down the grant.

Exactly. So, look, my view is the
Republicans were about to let a bunch of

Americans, 15 million Americans, step on
a rake called their insurance premiums

going through the roof.

That's when you shut the government
down. But you do it before, and now it's

just going to be one more piece of
garbage coming at the American people. I

think the timing's not that great, but
look, maybe it'll work.

Okay, so you mentioned the Pete Hegsett
thing I was talking about in the

monologue, and the kicker was somewhere
in the middle, or maybe it was at the

end when Trump got up there.

And look, I don't know if this is a riff
or this is a major policy change,

because sometimes he just riffs, and he
just says something, and you go, what?

Training grounds for the enemy within
was the phrase that stuck out in my

This is what he said. He said,
President, I've got an idea. He said, we

should

use troops in cities,

our dangerous cities.

Troops. He's talking to the troops here.

Use them as training grounds.

In other words, in case we have to fight
the homeless overseas,

we're going to use the military.

Now, again, sometimes he just says shit.
I remember when, after one of the

school shootings, they were having a
roundtable thing, and he said to Mike

Pence, who was the vice president, Mike,
maybe we take away the guns first.

Can you...

Can you imagine if people really took
him seriously, especially on the right?

Take away the guns. And then it was just
forgotten the next day. Now, maybe this

will be forgotten the next day.

You know what kills me about that whole
story, that whole event, Bill, if I

could say, is that I just came from
Kiev.

I was there a couple weeks ago.

You are watching there the greatest
freedom fight on the planet, okay?

And Ukraine's president inventing drones
themselves.

Creeping like anything to beat the
Russians back.

And Hegseth is talking about lethality
and all this fighting spirit.

Meanwhile, they're not giving a dime, a
dime in their new budget for Ukraine.

So what is all this lethality for?
Number two, while I was over there, I

we were giving...

the money to the other European
countries to get weapons to the

no, no, the other Europeans are giving
their own money to buy weapons from us

give to the Ukrainians, okay?

So it's a little different.

Number one, we zeroed them out.

Number two, while I was over there,
Russia sent 20 drones into Poland.

What was Rubio's, our Secretary of
State's response?

Well, we're still studying. It could
have been an accident.

20 drones over six hours was an
accident, you know? Then they sent MiGs

Estonia. So these guys are doing this
whole lethality thing, and we're

spirit and do more push -ups and get rid
of your beard, okay? And meanwhile,

Putin every day is fighting a hybrid
war, and we're leaving on the field the

greatest freedom fight on the planet
right now.

Also, I agree 100%. But, you know, also,
what a small, insecure man.

Yeah. Hex at this.

To be sitting up there complaining about
how, you know, basically

girls aren't good enough and all that
sort of stuff.

Nobody on planet Earth, I mean, it's
just weird. Nobody on planet Earth is

sitting here saying, we used to be
afraid of the United States military,

we're not because there are women in
there.

Literally, we are the most feared
military in the world. It's why the

as stable as it is.

And nobody's complaining about it,
except this one dude who decides that he

can't stand the fact that there are
women who have arms.

As the father of a daughter, I think
every girl dad should be offended by

he said.

The women who are in our armed forces
can kick his ass any day of the week.

When I'm depressed, what I really enjoy
doing is traveling

with the U .S. military.

That's right. Because what you see is
our real strength. It's our ability to

make out of many one, okay?

That's actually our real strength. And
when you see them operate in the Middle

East, where people can't make out of
many one, that's when you understand the

real secret of our sauce.

So headlining your paper today, top
story, most voters say U .S. can't

severe divisions.

They went into the fact that five years
ago, even during the pandemic and during

the George Floyd protests, even then
people thought, well, we are going to

through this. And now they seem to be on
the page of it's not going to happen.

What do we do? Did you see the story?
Yeah, I think what's new about this

moment, one of my teachers and friends,
Doug Seidman, likes to say this. We

aren't divided.

We are being divided. That's right. By
companies for profit, okay?

And we have our divisions.

We always have. It always happens.

But it is now a giant, what is new in my
life is it is now a giant industry to

make people stupid and angry.

And I'm not sure what happened.

Algorithms. Right, exactly.

And Facebook and all the things that
these people do.

And we'd be, you know, the way I look at
the world right now, we're going

through a lot of social change. We're
going through a lot of technological

change. The pot would be boiling.

But then along came Mark Zuckerberg, and
he turned the heat up on the pot. And

then along came Trump, and he took the
lid off the pot. And he made it

permissible, popular, and profitable to
say and do things to and about each

other we never did before.

And all three of those things need to be
addressed.

When you talk to people, when you ask
people to put the phone down for a

second, and you actually talk to people,
Actually, people are not as divided.

But the thing is, at some point, you on
your phone, you ordered a yoga mat or

something. Your algorithm figured out
you're a liberal.

Then your neighbor looked up a truck.

You're a conservative.

And from that day forward, you got
different information every day and

sent a notice.

And so now you literally think your
neighbor is insane because how could

possibly think this stuff? But if you
put your phone next to their phone,

in different algorithmic universes. And
that is brand new and very dangerous.

All right. Thank you. Got to end it
there.

Great work, guys. It's time for new
rules, everybody.

Thank you.

All right.

Okay. New rule.

Children's animators must tell me why
they always draw the sun with sunglasses

on.

Sunglasses are supposed to protect your
eyes from the sun.

Why would the sun be wearing them? It's
like when they do cartoon pigs and

they're wearing a barbecue apron.

Jesus. Why don't you just put a happy
baby on a box of condoms?

New Rule, using a skincare brand called
Activist doesn't actually make you an

activist.

You know what Malcolm X, Cesar Chavez,
and Lech Walesa all had in common? None

of them sold an active hydration serum.

Maybe great for those fine lines and
wrinkles, but I just don't see how it

to restorative justice for marginalized
communities.

That said, I never go anywhere without
my tube of, this sunscreen kills

fascists.

New World, someone has to explain how I
can be a red -blooded, freedom -loving

American male and still want to be taken
over by this Chinese all -female

brigade.

Seriously, ladies, strip me naked, put
me in a tiger cage, and let's violate

Geneva Conventions.

And don't hate me if I say I'd like you
to love me for a long time.

Now that there's an AI -powered necklace
you can buy called Friend, that listens

to everything you say and then gives you
positive feedback.

I'd just like to say to the poor, lonely
people who buy this, if you think you

have no real friends now, wait till
everyone sees you talking to your

New World directors have to find a
better way to show that their anti -hero

doesn't give a fuck than putting him
outside in a bathrobe.

In the movie, one battle after another,
Leonardo DiCaprio spends the whole movie

outside in a bathrobe, just like the
dude in The Big Lebowski.

And Tony Soprano, and Hawkeye in MASH,
and Ferris Bueller, and Brad Pitt in

Fight Club. Man, if wearing a bathrobe
all day made you this cool, wouldn't Joe

Biden still be president?

And finally, new rule of all the ways
America continues to divide itself.

Nowhere is it more pronounced than in
gender. And until the Democrats come to

grips with that, they won't have much
success winning elections.

Let's just put it out there. Women are
the Democrats' base.

And men who get hit in the head for a
living are Trump's.

They're the bro party, the party of car
shows on the White House lawn and

breaking shit and seeing what happens
and busting balls and shooting stuff

beer.

And laws.

It's been that way for a long time, the
mommy party and the daddy party, the

party of pussy hats and the party of
truck nuts.

But that divide is on steroids now and
getting worse. In the 24 election, young

men preferred Trump by two points and
young women, Kamala, by 24.

The only way Trump can appeal to women
18 to 39 is making him one of his

lawyers.

Men and women can barely date

anymore because they can't stomach each
other's politics.

That's why everyone is gay now.

We're just done with each other. If you
don't believe me, ask yourself, what

podcast do I listen to?

Trump bros have 50 ,000 of them about
politics and protein powder.

While in the woman fear, the podcasts
are all about balancing career and

motherhood until eventually true crime
happens and someone gets murdered.

They like murder. We like killing
people.

Here's a mind -blowing stat about the
divide. 73 % of boomer men disagreed

the statement, mental health challenges
are an important part of my identity.

72 % of Gen Z women said the opposite.
They agreed, mental health challenges

an important part of my identity.

Okay, let's say it all together.

Women are better than men. They're
smarter and kinder and make way better

firefighters. But I'm never moving past
it isn't really the campaign slogan

we're looking for.

I'm sorry, Democratic women, but this is
your party.

You have a special responsibility to
look tough.

Senator Alyssa Slotkin seems to get
that, and not just because of her

Iraq and with the CIA, but because she
says things like... Democrats need to

fucking retake the flag.

Democrats have to stop being weak and
woke, she says.

Good message.

Because no one's holding women back
anymore.

In many ways, they're leaving men in the
dust.

Women are much less likely to be
unemployed now, less likely to blow a

pay on DraftKings.

Much more likely to complete college.

The only writing young men do these days
is engraving their bullets.

Booing into applause.

Very rare.

America now has 14 million women -owned
businesses, which generate $2 .7

trillion in revenue.

Yeah. Women launch...

Women launched 49 % of all new
businesses in 2024. And the number of

-owned businesses outpaced the growth
rates of every other demographic.

I'm spitting facts.

In the Barbie movie, when she storms
into the Mattel boardroom, it's 12

all men.

But Mattel is a real company. And in
2023, their boardroom was actually six

and five women.

Perpetuating victimhood, especially when
it's false, is not a great

advertisement for leadership.

Kamala Harris's new memoir of the 24
election is called 107 Days.

But it should have been called Everyone
Sucks But Me.

107 days is a victim's title because,
get it, she only had 107 days to win.

Yeah, and a billion and a half dollars,
and a built -in army

of about 75 million people who'd vote
for any human -adjacent life form that

wasn't Trump.

But in 107 days, nothing is ever
Kamala's fault. Biden lets her down by

stepping down sooner. Pouty face emoji.

Gavin Newsom, he was asked for his
endorsement but texted, hiking will call

back.

But then never did.

And then he didn't even ask her to prom.

America, America itself lets Kamala down
by not being ready for the running mate

she really wanted, Pete Buttigieg.

So she's stuck with the Home Depot paint
salesman.

And the rest is herstory.

Poor Kamala. We made her the star of a
rom -com and didn't even give her a gay

best friend.

Kamala writes that on election night,
when it was clear she lost, an aide

the words Madam President off the
cupcakes before handing them out.

Oh, geez, that's like a scene from
Bridget Jones Runs for President. For

Christ's sake.

Look, ladies, I know this isn't fair,
but we're all always running against the

worst cliche of who people think we are.

Women Democrats can't look oversensitive
or preachy or unable to laugh at

themselves. They also can't look silly.

like Gretchen Whitmer did, trying to
hide in the Oval Office. They have to

brave and strong.

It wasn't a good look for the woman
party that all the guys were speaking

for Jimmy Kimmel when Trump went after
him, except on the woman's show, where

for five days the outspoken hosts were
suddenly as quiet as a geisha.

Then on the fifth day, they rose and
said, no one silences us.

No one had to. You silenced yourself.

Whoopi Goldberg continued, did you all
really think we weren't going to talk

about Jimmy Kimmel?

No, I thought you would, but then you
didn't.

Five days? Talk about needing extra time
to get ready.

And if you can't take a breath and laugh
at that, you're making my point for me.

All right, thank you very much, ladies
and gentlemen.

We're off next week, back on the 17th. I
want to thank Van Jones, Tom Freeman,

and Louis C .K.

Club Random drops every Monday on
YouTube, or listen when to get your

Don't go to overtime on YouTube. Thank
you very much, ladies and gentlemen.