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1
00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:04,903
Nanu, nanu!
2
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,876
Who is it?
3
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,235
Who's there?
4
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,619
Mork!
5
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:53,223
That novelty store is
a bad influence on you.
6
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:55,292
I saw this incredible movie.
7
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:58,228
Oh, Mork, you
scared me to death.
8
00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:00,564
Oh, I'm sorry. My boss
said this would be funny.
9
00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:02,899
I thought an alien would
be funny too, but I guess not.
10
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,401
Was it good for you?
11
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,669
Mort, I know you're
working at a novelty shop,
12
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,693
but, please, don't bring
your work home with you.
13
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,141
Mork!
14
00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:13,376
I'm sorry, Min. Wait,
let me help you dry off.
15
00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,045
Mork!
16
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,482
You're so... Just leave
me alone, all right?
17
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,283
I'll do it myself.
18
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,419
I guess I don't understand
very much about Earth humor.
19
00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:24,321
Oh, brother! Yeah.
20
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:25,822
Well, that's all
right, believe me.
21
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:29,493
I have a few bleems to
understand you Orkans.
22
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,217
By the way, what is this
message you left for me?
23
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,766
N-F-C-S-T-H-W-C-O.
24
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:37,967
And what does that mean?
25
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,669
Nfcsthwco.
26
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:40,903
Oh, Mork.
27
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,172
And what does that mean?
28
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:44,107
Nelson Flavor called and
said he would come over.
29
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,975
Oh, no. I'm practicing shorthand
30
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,399
so I can have an exciting
career as a credit neurologist.
31
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,980
Nelson Flavor's
my cousin. A what?
32
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,915
He's the son of
my crazy, rich aunt.
33
00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:54,484
What's a cousin?
34
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,319
Somebody who's
related to your parents.
35
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,188
Oh, you've struck a
sore note there, Mindy.
36
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,489
I'm a test-tube baby.
37
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,359
Even I'm not related
to my parents.
38
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:03,826
Why have I never met this man?
39
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,062
Well, he's just so straight.
40
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,064
All right, you want to know
what he does for a living?
41
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,999
He manufactures attaché cases.
42
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,636
Sounds like a brief career.
43
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,020
Ah, but that's his
bag, though. Arr!
44
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,642
He is the kind of guy that
you always get the feeling
45
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,109
he's trying to sell
you something.
46
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,379
He's always slapping you on
the back and shaking your hand.
47
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,147
Oh, combination
mugger and masseuse.
48
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:27,284
You know, you always have a
way of looking at the bright side.
49
00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:29,052
Well, I have to, Mindy
because, you see,
50
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:30,887
today I got fired from my job.
51
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,323
Oh, no, Mork, not another one.
52
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:35,587
Yeah, I sold a whoopee
cushion to a deaf man.
53
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,317
Jeez.
54
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:41,198
I only have three
music students left.
55
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:42,965
We're starting to run
kind of low on money.
56
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,101
Well, I have another
possibility for a job today.
57
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,636
I'm going to feed the
animals at the zoo.
58
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,238
Especially the baby elephants.
59
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,407
I'd take them for Chinese.
60
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,742
Yeah, but probably the MSG
will make them a little bit hyper.
61
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,545
Probably will, Mork. That sounds
like something you can handle.
62
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,370
Maybe I'll get them stoned
first and they'll get the munchies.
63
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:04,954
Mindy McConnell, how you doing?
64
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,356
Just fine.
65
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,825
Nelson Flavor, at your service.
66
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,927
I know, Nelson. Gee, I'd
give you one of my cards,
67
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,729
but I left them in
my other dress.
68
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,266
What a little kidder.
69
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:21,838
Oh, we used to have such F-U-N.
70
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,609
Uh, Nelson, I want you to
meet my good friend Mork.
71
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:26,743
How do you do, Mork?
72
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,345
Ah!
73
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:30,880
Two little kidders.
74
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:31,948
Oh!
75
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,451
He was working
in a novelty shop.
76
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:35,475
Lot of fun.
77
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:39,356
Well, Mindy, uh,
78
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:40,957
reason I stopped by is,
79
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:42,759
you're my most favorite cousin.
80
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:43,993
Oh... Hey, wait.
81
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:47,096
Honesty time.
You're my only cousin.
82
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,231
That's right.
83
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:49,399
And I just stopped by to say,
84
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,856
"Hey, how you doing?"
85
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:54,471
Well, I'm... Well,
I'm doing fine.
86
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,640
Uh, since Dad and
Grandma sold the music store,
87
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,141
I've been teaching
music on the side...
88
00:04:58,165 --> 00:04:59,276
Great.
89
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,811
Now, with me
there's fantastic news.
90
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,813
I've decided to
go into politics.
91
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,548
Oh, gee, I guess that means
92
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:08,050
I won't be getting an
attaché case this Christmas.
93
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:09,808
Oh, darn.
94
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,255
Oh, yes, you will.
95
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:15,091
You see, the city-council
post is just a part-time job,
96
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,826
so I'll be keeping my business.
97
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,429
Oh, well, I wish you
the best of luck, Nelson,
98
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,765
but, uh, isn't the election
over a year away?
99
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,466
Oh, yes, it is. I
gotta start now
100
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,402
if I want my name to
become a household word.
101
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:28,226
Oh, like "fungus"
or "Johnny Mop."
102
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:30,873
Sort of.
103
00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:33,142
You see, Mindy, the
reason I stopped by
104
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:37,681
is that it... There are so many,
many women in my district,
105
00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:40,171
and I wanted to ask
you what they think.
106
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:42,686
About what?
107
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,721
Anything. Radioactive fallout.
108
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,624
What do women think
about radioactive fallout?
109
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:49,292
Uh, they're against it.
110
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:52,183
Hell, no, we won't glow!
111
00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:55,532
Fascinating.
112
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,867
There's a lot more to
this politics business
113
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,569
than meets the old eyeball.
114
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:02,439
This city-council post
is a steppingstone
115
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:04,341
to the pinnacle, the ultimate.
116
00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:06,175
Owning your own gas station.
117
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,645
Almost.
118
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:12,081
I want to be the next Vice
President of the United States,
119
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,625
like my hero, Walter Mondale.
120
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,320
That's quite an ambition.
121
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:18,955
You think I'm aiming too high?
122
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,357
Well, that's what
I want out of life.
123
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,091
I've studied everything
about Walter.
124
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,727
You know he lives
in Minneapolis?
125
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,617
I read that he
lives in obscurity.
126
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,480
Friend of yours.
127
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,202
I want to have
everything that Walter has.
128
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:36,172
I want the power,
I want the glory.
129
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,674
Everything.
130
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:40,577
Well, excuse me. I... I'm a
little confused by one thing.
131
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,178
Isn't it the purpose
of every politician
132
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,813
to serve people and help them?
133
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,470
Heck of an idea.
134
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:48,485
You know, that's crazy,
135
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:51,220
but it's just crazy
enough to work.
136
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,412
I'll do it to help people.
137
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,959
Hey, listen, Nelson, if
you really are interested
138
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:59,262
in the female point of
view, why don't you hire me?
139
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:02,399
Yes! You could be
my campaign staff.
140
00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:03,566
How soon can you start?
141
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,768
Sooner, if necessary.
142
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,603
Good. Let's go!
143
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,170
Okay. Hey, Mork,
will you call Jeanie
144
00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:09,672
and tell her I can't
meet her for lunch?
145
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:10,874
Oh, yes. Tell her I got a job.
146
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:12,108
All right.
147
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,410
And have a great election.
148
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:14,733
Oh, thank you.
149
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:20,082
Oh, no, it's gone!
150
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,251
Mindy! Mindy, Mindy, Mindy!
151
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,352
Mindy! What? What?
152
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,788
Have you seen my ex...?
153
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:25,944
Cigar?
154
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:39,969
Sure.
155
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,894
Big joke till
somebody gets hurt.
156
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,865
You could put a eye out.
157
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,420
Okay, see,
fellas, it's like this:
158
00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:58,688
You get this broomstick,
159
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,089
you put a little
tape on the end of it,
160
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,826
you hit the ball, and
then you run after it.
161
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,928
See? Kind of like baseball.
162
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,429
Okay, let me get this straight.
163
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,264
There is absolutely
nothing about this game
164
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:10,399
that will help me
grow as a person?
165
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:12,001
I've never heard it
described like that.
166
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,736
It's... It's stickball.
You know, it's, uh...
167
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,972
You play it in the street.
You run from sewer to sewer,
168
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,508
and, uh, you... You
use a car for first.
169
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,677
And then you... Like, a
garbage guy for second.
170
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,245
Some... You... You ain't a
man till you hit three sewers,
171
00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:25,114
I'll tell you that.
172
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:27,517
It's a heck of a
game. It's, uh, super.
173
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:31,187
Okay, well, so much for
bringing the Bronx to Boulder.
174
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,455
Hey, you know what?
175
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,791
You should have told
them the stick was organic.
176
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,993
These people are incredible.
177
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,661
They don't even leave me tips.
178
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,229
Oh, there is one guy, however,
179
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:43,265
who does tip me
transcendentally.
180
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:44,934
Oh, good.
181
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,269
Next time, give him a
transcendental burger.
182
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:48,972
No buns, no meat.
183
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:53,776
You know, Mork and Mindy are
the only normal ones we've met.
184
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,233
Oh, right.
185
00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:58,948
Well, speak of the devil.
186
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,583
The devil!
187
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:01,918
Yea, though he wanders around,
188
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:03,853
he can hide in the
kreplach and nail you.
189
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,154
Come forward now.
190
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,990
You can leave the potato
salad. Do you know why?
191
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:10,192
Say "pourquoi" if you know why.
Do you believe? Are you asking?
192
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,360
Pourquoi? Butter!
193
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,784
Come on home! You believe!
194
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,591
Well, at least Mindy's normal.
195
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,872
How you been?
196
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,642
Not bad. I... I got
fired from another job.
197
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:26,831
Oh, no. Sit down.
198
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,513
What happened this time?
199
00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,916
Well, you know, I was supposed
to feed the baby elephants,
200
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,018
so I gave them peanut butter
and their trunks got stuck
201
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,282
to the roof of their mouth.
202
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,990
Then one of them sneezed
and flew across the zoo.
203
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,560
But it's all right, though.
204
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,227
I've got an idea for a
corporate franchise.
205
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,897
It'll be called, um,
Mork's Ice Palace.
206
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,198
Oh. And my motto will be,
207
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:51,333
"I only have ice for you.
The best you ever thaw."
208
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,235
That's a great idea,
209
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,904
but what are you gonna
do when summer comes?
210
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,209
Stop production. Don't
want to flood the market.
211
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,108
Look, don't be discouraged.
212
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,743
I must have tried a
dozen different things
213
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,344
before I found
something I really liked.
214
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:03,446
What, running a deli?
215
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,982
No, lying in the sun.
216
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,249
Boy, I gotta tell you, Mork,
217
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,452
I am really proud of
my big brother here.
218
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:12,521
He gave up all that just to
put me through med school.
219
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:14,757
Oh. Wish I had a job so
I could be proud of me.
220
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,559
Oh, come on.
Don't worry about it.
221
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,927
Hiya, Mork.
222
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,162
Nice to see you. How's it going?
223
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,364
Mindy said I could
find you here.
224
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:23,499
Are these your friends?
225
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:26,069
Oh, Nelson Flavor,
this is Remo and Jean.
226
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:29,205
How do you do, Remo? Jean?
227
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:32,274
Say, are you folks,
uh, registered voters?
228
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,110
Yeah, we are. Well, in New York.
229
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:37,213
Awfully nice talking
to you people.
230
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,448
Listen, Mork, I've
got a little problem.
231
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,250
I wonder if you
could help me with it.
232
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,419
Yeah, that's good thinking.
He'll make it a big problem.
233
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:44,954
Remo!
234
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,456
I've got too much work.
235
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:51,160
Far much more work than
Mindy can possibly handle.
236
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:52,561
I'd like to hire you too.
237
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:55,632
Me? There's no one
else here. You mean me?
238
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:57,199
Oh, joyous exaltation.
239
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,335
♪ Hallelujah Hallelujah ♪
240
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,070
Whoo! Hot dog!
241
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,805
Yeow! Woah-ho-ho-ho!
242
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,440
I'm okay, now.
243
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:05,441
Hey!
244
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,977
Thataway, boy! Play hard to get.
245
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:11,114
Mindy said that you
were very conscientious,
246
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:14,951
so I'm gonna make you
my executive assistant.
247
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,987
Oh, executive? Does that
mean I don't have to work now?
248
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,989
We'll take a meeting on it.
249
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,891
Fantastic. Welcome aboard.
250
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,359
Glad to have you on the team.
251
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:26,129
Thanks, N.F. When do I start?
Have your service call mine.
252
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,865
Right away. And you call me N.
253
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,499
In fact, you can call
me anything you want,
254
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,201
but don't call me
late for dinner.
255
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,492
I love that joke!
256
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:37,140
Mork.
257
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:38,607
Good luck.
258
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,131
Hey, Morko, don't blow it.
259
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,081
Hey, uh, wait a minute.
260
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:48,685
Mork, what are you
doing with that money?
261
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,654
I always see people forget
it, so I'm gonna give it back.
262
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:53,723
Mork, that's my money.
263
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:56,067
Oh, yeah? Describe it.
264
00:11:58,185 --> 00:11:59,884
Round and silver.
265
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:03,199
Boy, is my face red.
266
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,241
Yeah!
267
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:13,876
♪ Gonna see What
flavors they got ♪
268
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,979
♪ Flavors, ha Political
innuendo, yeah ♪
269
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:18,314
Hm, yeah!
270
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,816
I had no idea political activism
271
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,684
could be so stimulating.
272
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,174
Really? I'm kind of bored.
273
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,722
Well, at least
we're getting paid.
274
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:27,757
Yeah. Eighty bucks
a week isn't much.
275
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,992
Wait a minute! Did
you say $80 a week?
276
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:31,249
Mm-hm.
277
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:34,496
He's only paying me 60.
278
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,640
That's because I'm an executive.
279
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,903
You're an executive?
My title is "office girl."
280
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,447
Well, you get me a dress
and I'll be an office girl.
281
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:48,410
Well, how we doing today, team?
282
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,246
Ha, ha, ha.
283
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,581
How you doing, Mindy?
284
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,951
Well, that depends, Nelson.
285
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,719
Why are you paying
him more than me?
286
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,454
Oh, he's an executive.
287
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:01,423
So, what does that mean?
He gets a bigger stapler?
288
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:06,095
No, that means that he
does all the important,
289
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,864
difficult jobs,
290
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,248
so you're free to make coffee.
291
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,905
What are you, Nelson? Some
kind of a male chauvinist?
292
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,174
Well, look, I don't mind
making a little coffee,
293
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:20,109
but there's no reason
why he shouldn't too.
294
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,801
Well, all right. I'll go get a
pan and fry some up right now.
295
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:26,282
I'm... I'm sorry, Mindy.
296
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,518
I thought making coffee
was what women did.
297
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,242
Isn't it genetic?
298
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:33,712
Oh, sure.
299
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:38,861
I'm getting some
negative vibes right now.
300
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:40,696
You want me to
hire another girl?
301
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,132
Why not let the boy do it?
302
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,301
I'll just go in the backyard.
303
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,503
You know, get
out of the house...
304
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:50,328
This entire subject is academic.
305
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:52,942
I have some very important news.
306
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,086
Are you interested?
307
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,047
After close scrutiny
of my financial status,
308
00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:01,572
I decided that I can only afford
to pay one of my assistants.
309
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,519
No.
310
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:04,921
The first job I was
ever able to keep,
311
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,289
and I wasn't able to keep it.
312
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,124
Oh, no, I don't
want to fire you.
313
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,193
Your work's been excellent.
314
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:13,729
Well, you sure can't fire
me. You'd die of thirst.
315
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:15,531
That's true.
316
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:19,235
Therefore, in the true spirit
of American competition,
317
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:22,471
I'm gonna let the two of
you battle it out to the death.
318
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,173
I can't. I... I care
a lot about Mindy.
319
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,875
And besides, what
would I do without me?
320
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,043
Uh, no, no, that was a...
321
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:28,978
That was a kind of
a figure of speech.
322
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,713
I'm going to observe
you for a couple of days,
323
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,548
and I'm gonna choose one of you.
324
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,717
Oh, let her have it, please.
She needs a job more than I do.
325
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,418
No, no, no, wait a minute, Mork.
326
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:39,688
I do want the job, but
you can't just give up.
327
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,457
If you want something,
you gotta fight for it.
328
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,658
I don't want to fight you.
329
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,894
Yeah, but it's not
that kind of fighting.
330
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,428
Competing is healthy.
331
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:47,930
Well, are you gonna compete?
332
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:49,765
Sure.
333
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,934
All right. I don't want you
to compete against yourself,
334
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,336
so I'll compete too.
335
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,171
Good boy!
336
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,073
I wish you good luck.
337
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,909
And may the best man win.
338
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,878
Oh, yeah!
339
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:16,658
Any coffee?
340
00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:18,427
One sec... Sure, I
have it right here,
341
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,396
just the way you like
it. It's ready and waiting.
342
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,865
Oh, I didn't want
any with cream.
343
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,200
Oh, you don't
want it with cream?
344
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:26,505
I have the history
of coffee right here.
345
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:28,771
We've got your cappuccino.
346
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,739
We have a little bit of
espresso right there. Whoa!
347
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,708
We've got your coffee
with cream, without cream,
348
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,044
with sugar, with lots of
sugar for your hypoglycemics,
349
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,312
and coffee with
no coffee at all.
350
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,776
Whoop! Listen. Can you
hear inflation? Too late.
351
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:43,319
Very, very, very impressive.
352
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:44,320
Very impressive.
353
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,455
But why do you have
one without coffee?
354
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:47,990
Well, it's kind of a Zen coffee.
355
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,325
It doesn't keep
you awake at night
356
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,909
and gives you kind
of that nirvana buzz.
357
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,752
Very efficient.
358
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:57,533
Very efficient.
359
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:58,734
Efficient.
360
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,758
Me, Morko.
361
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:08,610
Min.
362
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,313
Yes?
363
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:11,747
Are you mad?
364
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,584
Do I look mad?
365
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:16,608
Oh, no.
366
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,288
Mork... Min?
367
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,357
I'm mad.
368
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,659
Why?
369
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,962
I thought we'd both try to
do the job as best we could.
370
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,264
I know.
371
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:30,799
You're busy trying to
prove you can hold a job,
372
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,602
and I'm busy trying to
prove that Nelson's a sexist.
373
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,226
Don't all humans have sex?
374
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,774
See, there are just
some people that believe
375
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,776
that men are more
capable than women.
376
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,611
Oh, that's ridiculous.
Men and women are equal
377
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,347
throughout the universe
except on Venus.
378
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:46,949
Oh, yeah? What's so
special about Venus?
379
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:49,453
Dogs rule the planet and the
cats have to make the coffee.
380
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:56,625
The point is, is we're
acting ridiculous. Look at us.
381
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,794
So let's try to
handle this situation
382
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,929
in a mature, adult manner,
383
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:02,131
okay? I agree.
384
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,454
Good.
385
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,670
Excuse me, can I help you?
386
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,006
Well, I hope so.
387
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:13,009
I sell prosthetic dog ears
for Doberman pinschers.
388
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,510
Yeah, I'll help
you better, though.
389
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,213
Well, I got a problem. I
cater to the curb trade and...
390
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,981
Oh, well, if you have a problem,
391
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:21,550
I happen to be Mr. Flavor's
personal secretary...
392
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,452
Well, I'm his personal
executive secretary,
393
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:25,221
and I'll kiss and
make it better. No lie.
394
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,755
Yes. Don't mind him.
395
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:27,990
He's really not a well man.
396
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:29,892
I, on the other hand, am
a very capable woman
397
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:31,760
who is privy to even the
most top-secret aspects
398
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:32,961
of Mr. Flavor's campaign.
399
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,430
Yes, but I'm his
campaign manager.
400
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,798
Say, it with me,
now: Nelson Flavor!
401
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:37,799
You know it.
402
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:39,168
Nelson Flavor.
403
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,602
You're a fan
of it. It's vanilla.
404
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,738
We're talking all-American,
melting in the hot sun...
405
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:45,607
moist, with a cherry on top!
406
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,743
Uh, sir?
407
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,245
Uh... Uh, I wish you'd
come out of there.
408
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,909
We're... We're really
trying to help you.
409
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:54,350
Something going on here?
410
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,118
No.
411
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:58,502
No. Just trying to
hold the wall up.
412
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,523
Hold the wall up.
413
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,046
Foundation's weak.
414
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:05,761
What was that?
415
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,463
Big rat.
416
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:08,764
Who's in there?
417
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:09,788
Pinocchio.
418
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,935
Are you Flavor? Uh, yes, I am.
419
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,570
I got a problem, Flavor.
420
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,338
I'll... I'll... I'll help
you with your problem
421
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:18,740
but first you'll have to
come out of the closet.
422
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,631
Oh, I don't think
that's his problem.
423
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,336
Okay. Tell the goons
to take a walk first.
424
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:30,486
Is that all?
425
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:31,510
No.
426
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:36,024
Look, I'm in canine
prostheses. Mm-hm.
427
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:38,160
The city's tearing up the
pavement in front of my store.
428
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,495
I thought maybe
you could stop it.
429
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,029
No problem.
430
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,631
I'll take care of it personally
431
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,333
just as soon as I'm elected.
432
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:47,136
You have Nelson Flavor
personally to thank.
433
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,571
Here, have a hat.
434
00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:51,107
Take this brochure. Read up
all about me. Don't thank me.
435
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,331
Thank the friends who gave
us all those contributions.
436
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,278
Word of advice, Flavor,
437
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,614
with these two around,
I wouldn't run for office.
438
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,238
I'd run for cover.
439
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,888
Uh, Nelson, don't you think
there's probably a good reason
440
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:09,352
why the city is tearing
up that man's sidewalk?
441
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:12,094
There is?
442
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:14,296
This is probably a more
complex issue than I thought.
443
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,865
Uh... Uh, Mork, give me
a full report on this subject.
444
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:18,134
Right away.
445
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,236
All right, how is this one?
How about this for a byline:
446
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,104
"Sidewalks aren't all
they're cracked up to be.
447
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:24,406
Need concrete solution"?
448
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,041
Fantastic! Ha-ha!
449
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:28,644
I love the way this boy thinks!
450
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,811
Wait a minute. What a mind.
451
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:30,979
Did you hear that?
452
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,048
Nelson, shouldn't
I write that report?
453
00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:34,983
I mean, after all,
I was hired first.
454
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,452
I have seniority.
455
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:39,210
Oh, so now you're
pretending to be a Mexican?
456
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,925
Look, Nelson, if you
want to get elected,
457
00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:46,061
you're gonna have to pay
attention to the women's vote.
458
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:47,563
Now, what about Mrs. Hodges?
459
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:49,831
She's the head of the Women's
Political League in Boulder.
460
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,500
She's a very important person.
461
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:55,804
Yes, that's true, and
she's a woman too.
462
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:59,741
And my landlady, Mrs.
Burns. She's a woman too.
463
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,265
They're everywhere.
464
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:04,446
I can help you with all of them.
465
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:08,083
Hm. This is becoming
harder and harder by every...
466
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:09,518
You got the political savvy,
467
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,254
and you've got all the contacts.
468
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:13,789
Mork, prepare a report
469
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,291
on who you think I
should hire for this.
470
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,392
Get me in triplicate.
471
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,859
Give me the original,
you keep a copy,
472
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,228
and, uh, throw a copy away.
473
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:21,597
Wait a minute! Mork!
Come on... Nelson!
474
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:24,466
Oh, yes, I'm sorry.
I tell you what.
475
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:26,702
I'll make my
decision this evening.
476
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:30,439
You two take the
night off on me.
477
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:34,376
And, uh, I'll see
one of you later.
478
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,166
Get it?
479
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,518
Well, Mindy, maybe you're right.
480
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:45,754
We should be mature about this.
481
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:48,123
Deal with it as adults.
482
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:50,959
I'll tell you what.
I'll race you home.
483
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,462
You forget, I have wheels.
484
00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:55,097
Ah-ha! But I've
got more of them!
485
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:13,215
Are you still mad at me?
486
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:15,551
Oh, Mork, do I look mad?
487
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,085
Oh, yeah.
488
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,420
You're catching on.
489
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,690
Min, what's wrong?
490
00:21:21,714 --> 00:21:23,434
We used to have so much fun.
491
00:21:24,049 --> 00:21:25,294
I know, Mork.
492
00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:27,730
It's all because
of this dumb job.
493
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,487
Well, you take the dumb job.
494
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,068
No. Listen, tell you what.
495
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:34,737
Tomorrow morning,
we'll both go down there
496
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:36,805
and we'll both tell him that
if he can't find the money
497
00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:38,674
to... To pay us both,
then we'll both quit.
498
00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:39,675
It's a deal?
499
00:21:39,699 --> 00:21:41,042
It's a deal. Okay.
500
00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:43,279
On Ork we call it a partnership
or a group corporation.
501
00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:44,580
Really? Same thing on Earth.
502
00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:45,981
Small world, aren't it?
503
00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:48,250
I'll get it. Uh...!
504
00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:49,618
Excuse me.
505
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,019
I wonder who that is.
506
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:53,922
Sounds to me like
someone with knuckles.
507
00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:56,392
Hiya, Mindy!
508
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:58,059
Hi, Nelson. What
are you doing here?
509
00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,262
Well, I was out politicking
in the neighborhood
510
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:02,564
and, uh, thought I'd come by.
511
00:22:02,588 --> 00:22:04,566
I've, uh, made my decision.
512
00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:07,035
Well, we've made a
decision too, Nelson.
513
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:08,604
We've decided that no job
514
00:22:08,628 --> 00:22:10,773
is worth what you've
been putting us through.
515
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:12,474
And Mork and I care
for each other very much,
516
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:14,943
but having to compete like this
517
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:16,612
is making us act
like different people.
518
00:22:16,636 --> 00:22:18,113
And we don't like
those kind of people.
519
00:22:18,137 --> 00:22:20,015
So you either hire the
both of us or we both quit.
520
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:21,517
I accept your resignation.
521
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:23,285
Listen, none of your
political jargon, now.
522
00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:25,654
I don't want any Nixonisms. I
want the truth. Honest answers.
523
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:27,923
Come on, now, clown prince.
How about it? Whoo! Right here.
524
00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:30,158
I'm ready for it.
Let me have it.
525
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,660
That was an answer. We're out.
526
00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:32,724
We are?
527
00:22:33,786 --> 00:22:36,298
I'm terribly sorry,
but I realized
528
00:22:36,322 --> 00:22:38,834
I have a moral obligation
to hire a minority.
529
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,502
I'd like you to meet her.
530
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:41,925
Suzy!
531
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:46,642
Oh, here, let me
carry those for you.
532
00:22:46,666 --> 00:22:48,243
Yes. She's a minority?
533
00:22:48,267 --> 00:22:50,145
Uh, Swedish.
534
00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:53,315
That should help you
with the bleached vote.
535
00:22:53,339 --> 00:22:55,183
Just one more thing, Mindy.
536
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:57,052
I'm speaking to a women's
rights rally tomorrow
537
00:22:57,076 --> 00:22:59,688
and I wanted to know what's
a good subject to speak about?
538
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:03,291
How about, um, looking
nice for Mr. Right?
539
00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:04,827
I think they'll really
respond to that.
540
00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:06,829
Oh, thanks.
541
00:23:06,853 --> 00:23:09,197
Well, I'll see you guys later.
542
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,299
Us blonds are gonna
go have more fun.
543
00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:13,769
Rod Stewart.
544
00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:15,904
Oh, we... We go see Rod Stewart?
545
00:23:15,928 --> 00:23:18,128
No, we're not going
to see Rod Stewart!
546
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,611
Well. Well,
547
00:23:22,635 --> 00:23:24,780
I've lost another
job, haven't I?
548
00:23:24,804 --> 00:23:26,281
Oh, Mork.
549
00:23:26,305 --> 00:23:27,649
I mean, look at it this way:
550
00:23:27,673 --> 00:23:29,785
You... You've already got
a job observing Earth, right?
551
00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:31,019
Right.
552
00:23:31,043 --> 00:23:33,221
And you're doing
pretty well at that, right?
553
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,190
Well, I... I guess you're right.
554
00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:36,392
Well, so, what does it matter
555
00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:37,893
that you're having
a little trouble
556
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,261
finding the right Earth job?
557
00:23:39,285 --> 00:23:41,363
Well, doesn't matter.
558
00:23:41,387 --> 00:23:43,599
Good. So at least
we're friends again.
559
00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:45,401
No. Why not?
560
00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:46,935
We haven't sealed
our partnership.
561
00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:50,238
Oh. All right, well, on Earth,
we do that by shaking hands.
562
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,973
On Ork, we do it
by trading clothes.
563
00:24:00,339 --> 00:24:02,250
Mork calling Orson.
564
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:04,352
Come in, Orson.
565
00:24:04,376 --> 00:24:06,488
Mork calling Orson.
566
00:24:06,512 --> 00:24:08,690
Come in, Orson.
567
00:24:08,714 --> 00:24:10,514
Mork calling Orson.
568
00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:13,684
Come in, Orson.
569
00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:16,097
So, Mork,
570
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,633
did you finally get that job
571
00:24:17,657 --> 00:24:19,067
you've been talking about?
572
00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:20,502
Oh, not exactly, your bloatness.
573
00:24:20,526 --> 00:24:21,804
It seems here that on Earth,
574
00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:23,705
everyone finds a need to
compete with each other.
575
00:24:23,729 --> 00:24:26,642
They compete in sports,
in work, in everything.
576
00:24:26,666 --> 00:24:28,243
What do they get if they win?
577
00:24:28,267 --> 00:24:29,745
Something called an ulcer, sir.
578
00:24:29,769 --> 00:24:31,680
I don't know what it is,
but it must be wonderful
579
00:24:31,704 --> 00:24:33,849
because everyone
who's successful gets one.
580
00:24:33,873 --> 00:24:35,150
I guess it'll be a while
581
00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:37,820
before you put an ulcer
on your mantelpiece.
582
00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:39,421
Oh, noshu, chiefsmoke.
583
00:24:39,445 --> 00:24:41,356
Although Mindy and I
did have a competition.
584
00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:43,425
Oh? Who won?
585
00:24:43,449 --> 00:24:45,994
We both did, sir. We
decided to stick together.
586
00:24:46,018 --> 00:24:47,796
That's very good, Mork.
587
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:50,632
You're learning about
cooperation and maturity.
588
00:24:50,656 --> 00:24:52,267
Oh, yes, your preachiness.
589
00:24:52,291 --> 00:24:54,169
I've learned that even
though you win that ulcer,
590
00:24:54,193 --> 00:24:55,471
it's no fun if
you've lost the one
591
00:24:55,495 --> 00:24:57,172
that you wanted
to share it with.
592
00:24:57,196 --> 00:25:00,297
Till next week, nanu, nanu.
42669
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