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1
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,140
Na-nu, na-nu.
2
00:00:19,503 --> 00:00:20,783
Shazbot!
3
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,278
Mindy, mind if we
start without you?
4
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:26,863
No, go ahead. I'll
be out in a minute.
5
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:30,071
How about that new Pope, huh?
6
00:01:30,106 --> 00:01:32,107
Well...
7
00:01:32,142 --> 00:01:33,870
So King Kong's finally up
the Empire State Building
8
00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:34,860
and he's got Fay Wray.
9
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,372
Hey, careful there, my
son, you'll hurt yourself.
10
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,529
He's got Fay Wray and she says,
11
00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:39,776
"Put me down, put me down."
12
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,633
He goes: "Okay."
13
00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:51,092
Yeah, I guess that kind of
bit the big one. You're right.
14
00:01:53,913 --> 00:01:54,913
What is that?!
15
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,332
Oh, Mindy, it's not a what.
16
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,061
It's a "who". I'd like
you to meet O'Keefe!
17
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:02,832
But you didn't tell me
he was a chimpanzee!
18
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,200
I also didn't tell
you he's on the lam.
19
00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:05,189
He's a con.
20
00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:06,235
He's a what?
21
00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:08,559
He's a fugitive.
22
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,378
He said there's no
zoo in the country
23
00:02:10,414 --> 00:02:12,214
that'll hold him inside.
24
00:02:12,249 --> 00:02:13,726
Well, where did you find him?
25
00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:14,750
Well, I was up in a tree
26
00:02:14,784 --> 00:02:15,928
observing bald spots
on human beings.
27
00:02:15,952 --> 00:02:16,984
I was up to 85 men...
28
00:02:18,589 --> 00:02:19,599
and all of a sudden I realized
29
00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:21,055
something hairy was watching me.
30
00:02:24,328 --> 00:02:25,889
So all of a sudden, I thought,
"Hey, let's bring him home."
31
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,045
He'll cheer you up,
32
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,525
and besides I'm not sending
him back to the Big House
33
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:29,647
with those rotten screws.
34
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,160
Mork,
35
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,194
that's ridiculous.
36
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:33,963
He's got to go back to the zoo.
37
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,086
No! You see?
38
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,890
No way. They'll put him
on banana bread and water.
39
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:40,359
They'll take away his tire.
40
00:02:41,711 --> 00:02:42,928
Mindy, who are you kidding?
41
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,062
It's a jungle in there.
42
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,427
Mork, they don't
do that to animals.
43
00:02:47,451 --> 00:02:49,646
At the zoo he'll get food
and protection and love.
44
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,197
Really? Yeah.
45
00:02:51,221 --> 00:02:52,732
And besides, running around free
46
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:53,866
he might hurt himself.
47
00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:56,124
Well... I wouldn't
want that to happen.
48
00:02:56,159 --> 00:02:57,726
Well, you heard the warden.
49
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,272
I guess I've got to take
you back to your cell.
50
00:02:59,296 --> 00:03:01,496
I'm sorry, old friend.
51
00:03:01,531 --> 00:03:03,665
Go upstairs and start packing.
52
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:07,068
But don't worry... we'll arrange
conjugal visits with Cheetah.
53
00:03:08,204 --> 00:03:10,405
And I'll send you a
banana with a file in it.
54
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:12,374
But look at this, Mindy.
55
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:13,375
He taught me a dance.
56
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:14,810
It's the funky-monkey
hustle. Watch.
57
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,457
Come on, Mindy...
Don't be afraid.
58
00:03:18,481 --> 00:03:20,448
Come on, don't be... Mork,
59
00:03:20,484 --> 00:03:22,684
you've been acting
awfully strange lately.
60
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,419
I mean, more strange than usual.
61
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,465
Ah, you've noticed.
62
00:03:25,489 --> 00:03:26,855
Noticed? How could I help it?
63
00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:27,856
Like yesterday,
64
00:03:27,891 --> 00:03:29,402
you spent all day walking
and talking backwards.
65
00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:31,906
Well, that's all behind me now.
66
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:33,912
Well, what's next?
67
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:34,913
I'm glad you asked.
68
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:35,958
Well, today, I
thought I'd go out
69
00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:36,948
and buy 400 balloons
70
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:37,949
and a tank of nitrous oxide
71
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,264
and some calves liver.
72
00:03:40,938 --> 00:03:43,404
Mork, why are you doing
all these strange things?
73
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,789
To cheer you up.
74
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,308
But I'm not sad.
75
00:03:46,343 --> 00:03:47,887
But you will be after
you hear the news
76
00:03:47,911 --> 00:03:48,894
that I have to tell you.
77
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,595
What news?
78
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:51,808
Well, I've got
orders from Orson.
79
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,242
I've been transferred
to another planet
80
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:54,494
and I'll never ever
see you again.
81
00:03:54,518 --> 00:03:56,685
What?
82
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,988
Well, you've got to
look at the good side.
83
00:04:00,023 --> 00:04:01,968
You're not losing an alien.
84
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,273
You're-you're gaining
an empty room.
85
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:12,495
Well, I have a
very fine set here
86
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:15,337
and it has some very good
attachments that go with it.
87
00:04:15,372 --> 00:04:16,838
Oh, yeah.
88
00:04:16,873 --> 00:04:20,157
Okay... I'll take them.
89
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:24,345
It-it doesn't work quite
as well without the cord.
90
00:04:24,381 --> 00:04:26,347
You're not going to
be able to hear a thing.
91
00:04:26,383 --> 00:04:27,383
Perfect.
92
00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:28,917
I want to keep noise out.
93
00:04:28,952 --> 00:04:31,503
If I hear anything,
I'll bring them back.
94
00:04:32,822 --> 00:04:34,322
Well, it's your money.
95
00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:35,423
That'll be $50.
96
00:04:35,459 --> 00:04:37,225
These work fine.
97
00:04:37,261 --> 00:04:39,672
I didn't hear a word you said.
98
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:42,263
I said that'll be $50.
99
00:04:42,298 --> 00:04:43,343
Will you take a check?
100
00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,032
Certainly. Fine.
101
00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:46,851
Get it from your daughter.
102
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:47,869
Hey, wait a minute.
103
00:04:47,904 --> 00:04:49,148
You just can't walk out of here.
104
00:04:49,172 --> 00:04:50,638
What do you mean,
get it from Mindy?
105
00:04:50,674 --> 00:04:52,857
Listen, I live underneath
your daughter
106
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,003
and I work at home.
107
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,343
I write greeting cards.
108
00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:57,044
Ah... you're Buckley.
109
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,192
Bickley. Yeah, Mindy's
told me about you.
110
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,860
Well, Let me tell you about her.
111
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,962
I can't concentrate
with all that racket.
112
00:05:02,986 --> 00:05:05,298
How do you expect me
to write sympathy cards
113
00:05:05,322 --> 00:05:06,816
with her crying all morning?
114
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,167
Crying? Why was she crying?
115
00:05:08,191 --> 00:05:09,719
Who cares? Crying is crying.
116
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,705
Find out from her when you
hit her up about the check.
117
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:15,397
Yes, but you just can't...
118
00:05:15,432 --> 00:05:16,509
Oh, Dad... Honey, what's wrong?
119
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,466
Oh, brother!
120
00:05:18,501 --> 00:05:20,118
Honey, what is it?
121
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,065
Oh, something
awful has happened.
122
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:24,300
Mork's been transferred
to another planet.
123
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,902
I'll probably never
see him again.
124
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,842
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
125
00:05:27,877 --> 00:05:30,178
Oh... when is he leaving?
126
00:05:30,213 --> 00:05:32,313
In a couple of days.
127
00:05:32,349 --> 00:05:33,948
Dad, what am I gonna do?
128
00:05:33,983 --> 00:05:37,446
Mork... he's just about
my best friend, that's all.
129
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:41,272
I'm sure glad I don't read lips.
130
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:44,476
Mindy!
131
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,792
Mindy, Mindy,
Mindy, Mindy, Mindy.
132
00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:51,516
And Mindy's dad...
133
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,168
Hi, Mr. McConnell.
134
00:05:53,203 --> 00:05:54,630
Hello. Hi, Susan.
135
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,938
Hi. Listen, I was just
in the jewelry store
136
00:05:56,974 --> 00:05:59,924
across the street buying
myself a numero uno charm...
137
00:06:02,245 --> 00:06:04,663
Susan, I think maybe
some other time...
138
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:08,883
Oh. Well, are we a
little depressed today?
139
00:06:08,918 --> 00:06:10,685
Yeah, she's a lot depressed.
140
00:06:10,721 --> 00:06:11,764
Personal reasons.
141
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:15,223
Well, of course, I
was never one to pry.
142
00:06:15,258 --> 00:06:17,225
All I can tell you is,
143
00:06:17,260 --> 00:06:21,646
I used to get all these emotional
ups and downs all the time
144
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,560
at the least little thing.
145
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,778
But that was before I got ERK.
146
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,435
What's ERK?
147
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,021
Oh, Mindy... E.R.K.
148
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:33,391
Ellsworth Revitalization
Konditioning.
149
00:06:35,361 --> 00:06:37,779
I don't mean to be picky,
150
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,247
but you spell
"conditioning" with a "C".
151
00:06:40,283 --> 00:06:41,366
Right.
152
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:43,896
Maybe you do, but
Ellsworth doesn't.
153
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,570
Ellsworth says that
154
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:48,165
spelling is just
another hang-up.
155
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,143
So, how about it?
156
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,579
Susan, I just don't
feel up to it today.
157
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,147
Hey, grab yourself a cup
158
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:58,282
and I'll split my
lunch with you.
159
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:04,388
Thanks, but I'm not
into toy cocktails.
160
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,058
Oh, well, Mindy, I mean,
161
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,537
you can do this if you want,
162
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:09,510
but just remember,
163
00:07:09,546 --> 00:07:11,107
you're going to be
going through emotional
164
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,141
ups and downs
165
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:13,275
for the rest of your life
166
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:14,844
until you find
something like ERK.
167
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:18,669
You see, Ellsworth
teaches you to love yourself.
168
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:22,023
I'll bet you got an "A".
169
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:26,678
"A" plus.
170
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,464
Ta-ta.
171
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,704
Mindy, Mindy, Mindy,
Mindy, Mindy, Mindy.
172
00:07:35,739 --> 00:07:39,507
Hey, oh, have I got
a surprise for you.
173
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,008
Oh, I've got a surprise for you.
174
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:43,010
There we... stay.
175
00:07:44,347 --> 00:07:45,446
Mindy, you'll never guess
176
00:07:45,482 --> 00:07:46,776
what's in the bag.
Take a flying guess.
177
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,910
Come on, take a flying guess.
178
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,317
Mork, I don't
feel like guessing.
179
00:07:50,353 --> 00:07:52,804
Okay, I'll guess
it for you myself.
180
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,856
Time to play "What's my bag"!
181
00:07:54,892 --> 00:08:00,061
Uh, mystery object,
are you a shovel?
182
00:08:00,097 --> 00:08:01,657
No!
183
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,816
Are you a Synanon joke book?
184
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:06,151
No.
185
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,355
I give up.
186
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:12,356
Well, I guess I'll
have to tell myself.
187
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:15,593
And to present the prize,
our lovely prize girl, Lola.
188
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:16,961
Thank you, Otto.
189
00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:20,899
Guess what it is, Mindy!
190
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,745
It's a going away
present for Mindy
191
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:24,302
and it's an exciting new gift
192
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,714
I got this morning
on the street corner.
193
00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:28,306
It's Zen-O-Matic.
194
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,757
It's a what?
195
00:08:29,793 --> 00:08:31,837
It's Zen-O-Matic, the
exciting new kitchen tool
196
00:08:31,861 --> 00:08:33,472
that does absolutely
nothing. That's right.
197
00:08:33,496 --> 00:08:35,275
It can't dice, it can't
peel, it can't chop...
198
00:08:35,299 --> 00:08:37,310
it won't even make julienne
fries... whatever those are.
199
00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:39,700
That's right, Zen-O-Matic
does didley for you.
200
00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:42,586
Yes, the exciting
new kitchen tool
201
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,417
from the people who
brought you frozen sand
202
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:45,707
and electric toothpaste.
203
00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:48,909
Send absolutely nothing today
204
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:52,380
to Buhdda Productions
care of Nirvana, Box Omm...
205
00:08:52,415 --> 00:08:53,949
Get one today!
206
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,251
I appreciate what
you're trying to do.
207
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,474
I really do.
208
00:09:03,509 --> 00:09:05,471
But I'm just not in the
mood for it right now.
209
00:09:05,495 --> 00:09:08,997
Well, you don't have to
be sad on account of me.
210
00:09:09,032 --> 00:09:10,142
How can I help it?
211
00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:11,277
You're being sent off
212
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,279
to some remote
corner of the universe.
213
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:14,736
I don't even know where.
214
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:15,937
It's not that far away.
215
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,332
It's just the other
side of the universe.
216
00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:18,476
It's the Sigma Seven Galaxy.
217
00:09:18,508 --> 00:09:22,077
It's a troubled planet
called Tsoorus.
218
00:09:22,112 --> 00:09:23,456
And the people there
aren't very friendly,
219
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,590
but the good
thing is they're tiny.
220
00:09:24,614 --> 00:09:25,624
Even in their most vicious mood,
221
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,168
they can only bite
you below the ankle.
222
00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:31,001
How can you let
Orson do this to you?
223
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:34,038
Well, maybe you're
afraid of him, but I'm not.
224
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,117
Plug me into your head.
225
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,736
I want to talk to
that fat fascist.
226
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,009
I guess I forgot to tell you.
227
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:39,794
You see, I talked
to him this afternoon.
228
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,440
You did? What did he say?
229
00:09:41,464 --> 00:09:45,416
Well, Mindy, I've been
thinking this over a lot
230
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:49,253
and I don't think I'm
very much good for you.
231
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:52,140
You know, I do silly things...
232
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,674
I make weird objects...
233
00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:54,909
I talk to furniture
234
00:09:54,945 --> 00:09:57,545
and leave you out
of the conversation...
235
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,281
I'm always getting in the way...
236
00:10:00,317 --> 00:10:02,650
I bring home strange people.
237
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:03,696
I see.
238
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,764
Orson wouldn't change his mind.
239
00:10:05,788 --> 00:10:08,422
No, I talked to Orson
for a real long time and...
240
00:10:08,458 --> 00:10:11,092
he said I could stay on
Earth as long as I want.
241
00:10:11,127 --> 00:10:13,078
He did?!
242
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,646
That's wonderful.
243
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,915
Yeah, it's nice to
have a choice...
244
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:21,269
and I chose to leave.
245
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,357
Mork, but why?
246
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:34,282
Why would you
want to leave here?
247
00:10:34,317 --> 00:10:35,428
Are you unhappy?
248
00:10:35,452 --> 00:10:36,434
Is it something that I've done?
249
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,418
Oh, no.
250
00:10:37,454 --> 00:10:38,819
It's something you have.
251
00:10:38,854 --> 00:10:39,820
Emotions.
252
00:10:39,855 --> 00:10:41,489
That doesn't make sense.
253
00:10:41,524 --> 00:10:42,807
Oh, yes, it does.
254
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,970
See, one day I'm going
to have to leave the earth,
255
00:10:44,994 --> 00:10:46,655
and it's going to
hurt you very much.
256
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,958
I've only been here a few
months and look how you feel.
257
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,898
Imagine what it would
be like after ten years?
258
00:10:50,933 --> 00:10:53,601
The longer I stay, the
harder it will be for you.
259
00:10:53,637 --> 00:10:55,186
But what about you?
260
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,722
Me? The Cosmic Charles Bronson?
261
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:01,837
I don't have a heart.
262
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:02,972
It won't be a problem for me.
263
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:06,347
It's a problem for me.
264
00:11:06,382 --> 00:11:09,484
I've got a big
adjustment to make...
265
00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:11,636
Getting used to no Mork.
266
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:15,055
I know what I can do...
get O'Keefe out on parole.
267
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:18,221
It'll be almost like
having me around.
268
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:21,445
It'll be a lot like
having you around.
269
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,065
Oh, what a nice thing to say.
270
00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:27,102
Who is it?
271
00:11:27,137 --> 00:11:28,769
Miss McConnell...
272
00:11:28,805 --> 00:11:29,805
Oh, no...
273
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:32,940
Mr. Bickley, please,
274
00:11:32,976 --> 00:11:34,087
we are not making any noise.
275
00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:35,143
We're not doing anything.
276
00:11:35,178 --> 00:11:36,289
I know that.
277
00:11:36,313 --> 00:11:39,280
I was just downstairs
feeling depressed.
278
00:11:39,316 --> 00:11:41,260
I thought I'd come up here
279
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,117
and share it with you.
280
00:11:43,152 --> 00:11:45,765
Ah, Mr. Pickley! That's
nice. That's Bickley.
281
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:47,299
Oh, Mindy, let him come in.
282
00:11:47,323 --> 00:11:48,834
He has something to share.
283
00:11:48,858 --> 00:11:49,824
Something really nice.
284
00:11:49,859 --> 00:11:51,558
Mr. Bickley, I'm
sorry to be rude,
285
00:11:51,594 --> 00:11:53,060
but I'm very upset right now.
286
00:11:53,096 --> 00:11:54,746
Mork is leaving town.
287
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:57,382
Ha! That's didley.
288
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,149
He's just going out of town.
289
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:01,102
I'm going out of business.
290
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:04,705
I used to be the best
greeting card writer around.
291
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:07,308
But I can't work anymore.
292
00:12:07,343 --> 00:12:08,309
Oh, come on.
293
00:12:08,344 --> 00:12:09,655
We don't make that much noise.
294
00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:10,778
I know.
295
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,514
I was blaming it on you,
but it's time I faced it.
296
00:12:13,549 --> 00:12:15,349
I've lost it.
297
00:12:15,385 --> 00:12:18,945
Well, we could form a
posse and find it if you want.
298
00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:21,088
Oh, it's no use.
299
00:12:21,124 --> 00:12:24,025
They say your sympathy
is the first thing to go.
300
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:29,247
I used to be able to get
tears out of a coat rack.
301
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,431
Not any more.
302
00:12:30,466 --> 00:12:31,649
Listen to this.
303
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:35,286
"Your pet rabbit died,
304
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:38,339
"Poor little Muffit
305
00:12:38,374 --> 00:12:40,241
"Your two choices are:
306
00:12:40,276 --> 00:12:42,526
Eat it or stuff it."
307
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,352
Oh, that's sad.
308
00:12:53,122 --> 00:12:56,757
Mr. Bickley, you're just
going through a writer's slump.
309
00:12:56,792 --> 00:12:58,659
Mork is leaving for good.
310
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:03,380
Look, sister, little Muffit
ain't coming back either.
311
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,950
Oh, none of us has a
reason to be happy now.
312
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,601
I'll drink to that.
313
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,538
Knock-knock.
314
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:14,708
Well, what a group.
315
00:13:14,744 --> 00:13:17,528
Hear No Evil, See No Evil and...
316
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:19,563
Feel No Pain.
317
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:23,351
What's wrong with you people?
318
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,369
I've lost my talent.
319
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:26,537
Mork is leaving.
320
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:27,905
The rabbit died.
321
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:38,282
You know you guys
could just sit around here
322
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:41,251
feeling depressed or you
could all be straightened out
323
00:13:41,287 --> 00:13:42,386
by one little thing.
324
00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:44,439
Paul Williams?
325
00:13:44,474 --> 00:13:47,125
No... ERK.
326
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,793
You people have got to get ERK.
327
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,913
You've been irking
me since you came in.
328
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:55,033
Mindy, listen.
329
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,235
ERK would help you
with your depression
330
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,903
and Mr. Bickley... you know,
331
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:01,555
you could use some
help with your drinking.
332
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,774
I drink fine by myself.
333
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:08,179
Oh, and, Mork, I bet he could
come up with something for you.
334
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:09,341
Yeah.
335
00:14:09,365 --> 00:14:10,331
That sounds exciting.
336
00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:12,846
Come on, Mindy,
let's not poop the party.
337
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:14,964
Ellsworth might be
able to help both of us,
338
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,732
and besides, I don't
want to leave you like this.
339
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,374
Oh, Mindy, come on.
340
00:14:19,409 --> 00:14:20,975
Look, it would do you some good
341
00:14:21,011 --> 00:14:23,544
and I am not going to
take "no" for an answer.
342
00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:26,747
I am going to sit right here
until I get your word on it,
343
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,601
and that goes for
you, too, Mr. Hickle.
344
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,285
Bickley!
345
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,054
Oh, Ellsworth,
346
00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:40,339
before we get started
347
00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:43,597
I have a couple of friends
I'm dying for you to meet.
348
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:46,433
Two of my closest
friends in the entire world.
349
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,751
Uh, Mork and Mindy...
350
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,238
This is Ellsworth.
351
00:14:51,273 --> 00:14:53,458
Oh, Ellsworth, you know,
352
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:56,861
we're so lucky to have a
man like you, so unselfish
353
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,079
with a special gift...
354
00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,080
Yeah, Excuse me.
355
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:01,193
Excuse me, could
you hold that thought
356
00:15:01,217 --> 00:15:02,477
just a moment? Oh, yes.
357
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:05,069
17, 18, 19...
358
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:08,156
20... 20 bodies, 20 checks.
359
00:15:08,191 --> 00:15:10,491
Okay, we're all set.
360
00:15:10,526 --> 00:15:11,876
Now, what were you saying?
361
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,227
She was saying how nice it was
362
00:15:13,262 --> 00:15:14,595
that an unselfish man like you
363
00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:16,864
came all this way for
a little thing like money.
364
00:15:16,899 --> 00:15:18,265
Yeah, it sure is.
365
00:15:18,301 --> 00:15:20,968
Okay, the agreement
was for 8:00.
366
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,080
Let's begin the
session, all right?
367
00:15:22,104 --> 00:15:23,071
Oh, right. Yes.
368
00:15:23,106 --> 00:15:24,806
Oh, everybody, places, places.
369
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:25,918
Ellsworth is ready.
370
00:15:25,942 --> 00:15:28,576
Boy, you're really going
to hear something now.
371
00:15:28,611 --> 00:15:31,179
Hellooo.
372
00:15:31,214 --> 00:15:32,763
Hellooo.
373
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,032
Is that it?
374
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,401
You people are all dipsticks.
375
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,902
You're scuzz!
376
00:15:44,593 --> 00:15:47,411
The next question is, of course,
what will you be doing here?
377
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,930
Susan?
378
00:15:48,965 --> 00:15:54,402
Well, we will be trying
to find our own space.
379
00:15:54,437 --> 00:15:57,705
Uh, very good, Susan, very good.
380
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:02,860
Yes, you have an item, Mork?
381
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,506
Uh... A point of
Ellsworth order.
382
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:07,031
Um... my item is simply this.
383
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,444
It seems like Susan
has her own space.
384
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,600
This is her apartment
385
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,969
and there's barely
enough room for any of us.
386
00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:12,987
That's a joke.
387
00:16:13,022 --> 00:16:14,922
You're out of order, pal.
388
00:16:14,958 --> 00:16:15,789
But it's a reality.
389
00:16:15,824 --> 00:16:17,736
Reality is nothing
more than a concept.
390
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,444
Oh, but it's truth.
391
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,062
This is truth... Sit
down and shut up.
392
00:16:22,098 --> 00:16:23,098
Thank you.
393
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:31,655
Now... it's sharing time.
394
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,257
This is the time when you people
395
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:35,943
will say whatever
is on your mind.
396
00:16:35,979 --> 00:16:39,296
Say whatever you
think will set you free.
397
00:16:43,119 --> 00:16:45,536
Who wants to begin here?
398
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:46,604
Susan.
399
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:48,872
Oh.
400
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,074
Um...
401
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:53,877
Well, it-it used to bother me
402
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:57,865
and intimidate me that I
was so much more beautiful
403
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,400
than anyone else, but...
404
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:04,672
since I got ERK, I discovered
that I just have to learn
405
00:17:04,707 --> 00:17:08,142
to live with the fact
that I'm fun to be near,
406
00:17:08,177 --> 00:17:11,378
and just love myself as
the rest of the world does.
407
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:17,869
Anyone else?
408
00:17:20,056 --> 00:17:22,857
I'm having trouble
understanding any of this.
409
00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:27,328
Perhaps you can understand this.
410
00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:29,831
Sit down and shut up.
411
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,866
Anyone else have
something to share?
412
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,639
Uh, yeah. Uh...
413
00:17:38,675 --> 00:17:43,861
Wait. I have some very
fine Kentucky bourbon here.
414
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,813
I'd like to share it with
somebody who has some soda.
415
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,318
Obviously you're new.
416
00:17:51,354 --> 00:17:53,215
You don't know
about our agreement.
417
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,417
Getting ERK is not easy.
418
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:56,552
Sometimes these
sessions last up to 15 hours
419
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,821
and during that time,
there will be no eating.
420
00:17:58,845 --> 00:17:59,810
Who cares?
421
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:00,890
No going to the bathroom.
422
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:01,879
Big deal.
423
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,714
No drinking.
424
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:11,305
Wait till you try
to cash my check.
425
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:18,479
I have something that
I would like to share.
426
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,242
ERK is not a process.
427
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:23,517
ERK is something that
happens in space. In fact...
428
00:18:23,552 --> 00:18:25,586
It may be space.
429
00:18:25,622 --> 00:18:28,105
It's definitely not space.
430
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:31,425
Space is a continuum...
An inf... wait.
431
00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:32,426
Don't tell me.
432
00:18:32,461 --> 00:18:34,194
"Sit down and shut up."
433
00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:41,696
Yes, Mindy, you have an item?
434
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,521
My item is that I
paid a lot of money
435
00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:46,434
to come here and
learn something.
436
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:48,837
Well, then you've learned
437
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,605
something important
already, haven't you?
438
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:51,629
What?
439
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,630
You have been conned.
440
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,199
That's terrible.
441
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:57,301
"Terrible" is just a concept.
442
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,302
Oh, I get it.
443
00:18:58,337 --> 00:18:59,736
Anything that you don't want
444
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,405
to talk about is just a concept.
445
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,791
No, not my Rolls-Royce.
446
00:19:03,826 --> 00:19:04,992
That's real.
447
00:19:06,462 --> 00:19:08,340
Why don't you go ahead
and sit down, Mindy?
448
00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:09,444
We've caught your act.
449
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:11,682
Well. Mr. Ellsworth,
450
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:13,017
I have another point of order.
451
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,018
Yeah, go right ahead.
452
00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:16,887
Thank you, I
think it's a biggie.
453
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:20,358
People don't come here
for humiliation and abuse.
454
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:23,310
Every creature in the
universe is entitled to respect.
455
00:19:23,345 --> 00:19:24,545
Ridiculous.
456
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,191
Nobody wants to
hear that message.
457
00:19:26,215 --> 00:19:27,255
Sit down and shut up.
458
00:19:27,283 --> 00:19:28,777
But you said to say
what was on our mind.
459
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,234
Well, I've changed the rules.
460
00:19:30,269 --> 00:19:32,369
But not before I get
one more thing in.
461
00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:34,382
I think you should be
honest with yourself,
462
00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:37,374
like yourself, trust yourself
463
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:38,843
and know yourself.
464
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,522
That's all you
ever need to know.
465
00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:42,329
Oh, Mork, that's beautiful.
466
00:19:42,364 --> 00:19:43,998
Did Orson tell you that?
467
00:19:44,033 --> 00:19:45,398
No, Leon Spinks.
468
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,384
Oh, there's one other
thing I'd like to talk about...
469
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:54,975
This concept of not letting
people go to the bathroom.
470
00:19:55,011 --> 00:19:57,055
Well, I myself can't
sit still for that and...
471
00:19:57,079 --> 00:19:59,446
I think we should all take
a rest break right now.
472
00:19:59,481 --> 00:20:00,864
What do you think, everyone?
473
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:02,061
Yeah.
474
00:20:02,085 --> 00:20:04,352
Take a rest break, everyone.
475
00:20:04,387 --> 00:20:06,298
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
What about the agreement?
476
00:20:06,322 --> 00:20:08,672
I think we just
changed the rules.
477
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,207
All right.
478
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:12,220
All right, those
people want to leave?
479
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:15,429
Those people who
want to drop out, fine.
480
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,198
I'm still the winner.
481
00:20:17,233 --> 00:20:19,867
I get to go home early.
482
00:20:19,902 --> 00:20:22,402
I've got all your money...
483
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:23,838
and most importantly,
484
00:20:23,873 --> 00:20:27,208
I've got my Rolls-Royce.
485
00:20:27,243 --> 00:20:28,575
Thank you so much.
486
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,733
Well, he's cute.
487
00:20:37,586 --> 00:20:38,986
My Rolls-Royce. My...
488
00:20:39,021 --> 00:20:41,722
Is... Somebody has
stolen my Rolls-Royce.
489
00:20:41,757 --> 00:20:42,767
Well, don't worry, Ellsworth,
490
00:20:42,791 --> 00:20:44,303
just losing your
Rolls-Royce is a concept.
491
00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:46,593
Getting it back is a reality.
492
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:57,171
Well, it's good-bye, apartment.
493
00:20:57,206 --> 00:20:59,923
Fern, I love ya.
494
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:04,861
Phil, get rid of that dendron.
495
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:08,098
Sofie, you've been a great lie.
496
00:21:08,133 --> 00:21:09,717
Take it easy, chair.
497
00:21:12,888 --> 00:21:14,188
Good-bye, walls.
498
00:21:14,223 --> 00:21:15,339
Good-bye, air.
499
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:17,874
Good-bye, little
tiny dust particle.
500
00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:19,176
Good-bye, electrons.
501
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:20,678
Good-bye, protons.
502
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:21,946
Good-bye, nucleus.
503
00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:23,931
Mork, before you finish
504
00:21:23,966 --> 00:21:25,866
saying your good-byes,
505
00:21:25,901 --> 00:21:27,546
which at this rate
could be some time
506
00:21:27,570 --> 00:21:28,536
around mid-September,
507
00:21:28,571 --> 00:21:30,382
I want to talk to
you for a minute.
508
00:21:30,406 --> 00:21:32,083
I've been doing some observing,
509
00:21:32,107 --> 00:21:36,410
and I learned something
last night at the meeting.
510
00:21:36,445 --> 00:21:38,195
You don't practice
what you preach.
511
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,150
Mayday. Sense
of verbal confusion.
512
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,050
Well, at the meeting last night,
513
00:21:43,085 --> 00:21:44,551
you talked about
knowing yourself.
514
00:21:44,586 --> 00:21:45,864
Well, let me tell you something.
515
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:47,128
You might not have had emotions
516
00:21:47,156 --> 00:21:49,050
when you arrived here,
but you've got them now.
517
00:21:49,074 --> 00:21:52,710
I don't. Sit down and shut up.
518
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:55,145
Nobody could have said
all those wonderful things
519
00:21:55,181 --> 00:21:56,447
without feeling them.
520
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:57,993
And I figured
something else out, too.
521
00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:59,328
You're not leaving
because of me.
522
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:00,592
You're leaving because of you.
523
00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:02,064
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
524
00:22:02,088 --> 00:22:03,054
I'm not, I'm not.
525
00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:04,454
You're the one who won't be able
526
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:06,306
to handle leaving if
you stay much longer.
527
00:22:06,341 --> 00:22:09,609
Me?
528
00:22:12,014 --> 00:22:13,130
Yeah,
529
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:16,050
I don't want to go home.
530
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:17,852
It's cold out there.
531
00:22:17,887 --> 00:22:20,420
Who else will let me
do the things you do?
532
00:22:20,456 --> 00:22:24,591
I'm gonna miss you.
533
00:22:24,627 --> 00:22:27,578
I feel humiliation and guilt.
534
00:22:27,613 --> 00:22:29,980
Oh, Mork, you don't
have to feel guilty
535
00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:31,115
about having emotions.
536
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:33,295
Oh, yeah. Orson said
emotions are bad for you.
537
00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:35,263
We'll never evolve
if you have emotions.
538
00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:36,921
Shh!
539
00:22:40,575 --> 00:22:43,877
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
540
00:22:43,913 --> 00:22:45,679
Boy, is he a nimnull!
541
00:22:45,714 --> 00:22:48,415
Where are you going?
542
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,162
I'm going upstairs
to talk to Orson.
543
00:22:50,186 --> 00:22:51,151
I'm not leaving.
544
00:22:51,187 --> 00:22:52,964
You're not?
545
00:22:52,988 --> 00:22:56,106
No way. Boy, having
feelings is good.
546
00:22:56,141 --> 00:22:58,943
I'm back, Jack.
547
00:23:09,721 --> 00:23:11,038
Mork, calling Orson.
548
00:23:11,073 --> 00:23:12,706
Come in, Orson.
549
00:23:12,741 --> 00:23:14,375
Mork, calling Orson.
550
00:23:14,410 --> 00:23:15,909
Come in, Orson.
551
00:23:15,944 --> 00:23:17,844
Mork, calling Orson.
552
00:23:17,879 --> 00:23:19,180
Come in, Orson. Taxi!
553
00:23:21,584 --> 00:23:23,261
Orson speaking.
554
00:23:23,285 --> 00:23:25,530
Well, are you ready to leave?
555
00:23:25,554 --> 00:23:26,882
Oh, no, Your Immenseness.
556
00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,239
I've decided to stay.
557
00:23:28,274 --> 00:23:29,468
Mork, are you sure
558
00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:31,637
you want to extend
your Earth visit?
559
00:23:31,661 --> 00:23:33,010
Oh, yes, Your Girthship.
560
00:23:33,045 --> 00:23:35,529
I want to continue my
observation of human emotions...
561
00:23:35,565 --> 00:23:37,698
Especially guilt.
562
00:23:37,733 --> 00:23:38,877
Emotions?
563
00:23:38,901 --> 00:23:40,228
Does everyone have them?
564
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:41,751
Absolutely everyone.
565
00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:43,948
Well, with the possible
exception of a few presidents.
566
00:23:43,972 --> 00:23:44,983
What are presidents?
567
00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:46,551
Well, they're elected officials
568
00:23:46,575 --> 00:23:48,759
who are sent to
Washington every four years
569
00:23:48,795 --> 00:23:50,755
to bring the country
to financial ruin,
570
00:23:50,779 --> 00:23:53,214
recognize Chinese
and throw a baseball out
571
00:23:53,249 --> 00:23:54,215
once every spring.
572
00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:55,232
Is that all?
573
00:23:55,268 --> 00:23:56,467
Well, I've also observed
574
00:23:56,502 --> 00:23:57,901
that they never tell a lie,
575
00:23:57,936 --> 00:23:59,714
but then again, they
never tell the truth.
576
00:23:59,738 --> 00:24:01,088
It's something called politics.
577
00:24:01,123 --> 00:24:02,884
And they also have
a power that's feared
578
00:24:02,908 --> 00:24:04,519
very much by
everyone called "veto."
579
00:24:04,543 --> 00:24:05,704
What's that?
580
00:24:05,728 --> 00:24:07,956
I'm not sure, but I think
it's an Italian bodyguard.
581
00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:09,396
Sounds dull.
582
00:24:09,432 --> 00:24:10,397
Oh, no, sir.
583
00:24:10,433 --> 00:24:11,493
The big bucks comes when
584
00:24:11,517 --> 00:24:12,816
you get to be an ex-president.
585
00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:14,730
Then publishers pay
you millions of dollars
586
00:24:14,754 --> 00:24:17,204
to write things called memoirs,
but the strange part is...
587
00:24:17,239 --> 00:24:18,766
They don't have
very good memories,
588
00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:21,191
and the really funny part
is... No one buys those books.
589
00:24:22,228 --> 00:24:24,528
Well, that's all she
wrote, Your Fatship,
590
00:24:24,563 --> 00:24:25,729
Catch you next week.
591
00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:26,963
Nanu-nanu.
40926
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