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1
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,440
Nanu-nanu,
2
00:00:19,470 --> 00:00:20,750
Shazbot!
3
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,024
"1884.
4
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:24,749
"In the years following the
completion of Huckleberry Finn,
5
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:27,235
"which was written in
1884, Twain went on to write
6
00:01:27,271 --> 00:01:29,204
his most scathing criticisms."
7
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Hi there.
8
00:01:33,043 --> 00:01:34,342
Hi.
9
00:01:34,377 --> 00:01:36,878
Give you a lotta work
in college, don't they?
10
00:01:36,913 --> 00:01:40,732
Yeah. Time and Professor
Raymond wait for no man.
11
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:42,879
What are you doing still up?
12
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:45,269
Oh, me... no reason.
13
00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:47,517
Just thought I'd come down here
14
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,486
and hang loose for a while.
15
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:51,670
You won't even know I'm here.
16
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:55,363
Mork... Hmm?
17
00:01:55,398 --> 00:01:56,898
I know you're here.
18
00:01:56,933 --> 00:01:58,616
Oh, please don't make me leave.
19
00:01:58,652 --> 00:01:59,717
I'll do anything.
20
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,597
I'll shovel the dishes...
I'll wash the snow...
21
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,366
but don't make me go
back upstairs to him!
22
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,106
Please.
23
00:02:05,142 --> 00:02:07,909
Him? Him who?
24
00:02:07,945 --> 00:02:09,544
Vincent Price.
25
00:02:11,181 --> 00:02:13,464
He's upstairs in
the TV in the attic.
26
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,917
Mork, why don't
you turn him off?
27
00:02:15,952 --> 00:02:19,337
I did and then it
became real dark.
28
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:21,723
Don't tell me you're
afraid of a TV show.
29
00:02:21,758 --> 00:02:22,875
Hey! What do ya think,
30
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,830
I just got off the
egg yesterday?
31
00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:27,746
Vincent Price doesn't scare me.
32
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,381
It was the ghosts.
33
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,917
And the swamp and that
dude with his head cut off,
34
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,285
carrying it in his hands.
35
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,920
And the whooo!
36
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,556
That's what got to me, boy.
37
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:41,392
But Mork, that movie's
on everybody's TV.
38
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,962
Boy, we need a lot
more blankets then.
39
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,298
Mindy, why didn't you
tell me about ghosts?
40
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,300
Well, I didn't tell
you about ghosts
41
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,585
because there is no
such thing as ghosts.
42
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:55,790
And Vincent Price is a nice man.
43
00:02:55,826 --> 00:02:57,492
He doesn't live in a swamp.
44
00:02:57,527 --> 00:03:00,045
He makes soufflés
and sells art at Sears.
45
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,097
And there's no such
thing as ghosts, too.
46
00:03:02,132 --> 00:03:03,114
Do you believe me?
47
00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:04,099
All right.
48
00:03:04,134 --> 00:03:06,094
I'm glad you got
that off your chest.
49
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:09,015
If there's anything else
you'd like to chat about,
50
00:03:09,039 --> 00:03:10,199
I'm here anytime you need me.
51
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,592
Why don't we chat
about you going upstairs
52
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:15,994
while I finish my report?
53
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,974
All right, if the subject's
upsetting to you,
54
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,109
we can always change it.
55
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,910
How about those
basketball players?
56
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,878
Those suckers sure
are big, aren't they?
57
00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:24,102
Look, Mork, after tomorrow,
58
00:03:24,138 --> 00:03:25,686
we can spend a
lot of time together.
59
00:03:25,722 --> 00:03:26,999
I know, we'll go away somewhere.
60
00:03:27,023 --> 00:03:28,423
We'll chat about
anything you want,
61
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:29,958
but right now I've
gotta finish this.
62
00:03:29,993 --> 00:03:31,876
All right.
63
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,111
Thanks.
64
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,223
A mind's a terrible
thing to waste.
65
00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:35,658
You're right. Right.
66
00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,893
We'll get you that vacation.
67
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:41,136
Vincent Price... he's
real old, you know.
68
00:03:41,171 --> 00:03:43,221
Good night.
69
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,423
Ghosts... Whooo!
70
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,442
Who could be scared of that?
71
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,911
Whoo!
72
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:54,566
Ciao.
73
00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:55,634
Night.
74
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:56,868
Everything's just...
75
00:04:13,069 --> 00:04:14,264
Somebody here call a cab?
76
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:17,121
Oh, yes. Uh, ma'am,
your cab's here.
77
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,227
That's awfully
kind of you, soldier.
78
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,328
Here's a quarter.
79
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:24,696
Next time you're at the U.S.O.,
80
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,598
you have 2½ dances on me.
81
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,397
You know, your army's
doing a fantastic job.
82
00:04:31,421 --> 00:04:33,771
Since I've been here, I
haven't seen one Necroton.
83
00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:34,755
Come on. Listen,
84
00:04:34,791 --> 00:04:36,591
Mindy isn't here now.
85
00:04:36,626 --> 00:04:37,592
I know. She slept in.
86
00:04:37,628 --> 00:04:38,871
She stayed up
till 5:00 last night
87
00:04:38,895 --> 00:04:40,156
to finish that
report for school.
88
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,707
Oh, well, I'm glad
she finally did it.
89
00:04:41,731 --> 00:04:43,759
She's been working hard
on that for a long time.
90
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,729
That's what I came
to talk to you about.
91
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,880
I think she needs to get
away for a couple of days, rest.
92
00:04:47,904 --> 00:04:49,299
Well, do you have
any place in mind?
93
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:51,500
Yes, I'd like to take her
to the Dog Star, Sirius.
94
00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,725
It's incredible to see
a whole galaxy fetch.
95
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:57,896
I still think it might be hard
96
00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,642
to fit that into a
couple of days.
97
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:02,384
I don't believe it... Ooh.
98
00:05:02,419 --> 00:05:05,153
Well, I've seen it all.
99
00:05:05,188 --> 00:05:06,671
What?
100
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:08,690
If I should go
belly up tomorrow,
101
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:13,594
you can put "She saw
it all" on my tombstone.
102
00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:16,181
What are you talking about?
103
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:19,134
Well, I've met a man
from outer space.
104
00:05:19,169 --> 00:05:20,785
That's nothing
105
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,872
compared to that
student out in back.
106
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:26,408
This bozo looks so weird,
107
00:05:26,443 --> 00:05:30,595
he makes Mork look
like a Republican.
108
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:34,782
Oh, my kind of guy.
109
00:05:34,817 --> 00:05:35,861
Do you think I
should observe him?
110
00:05:35,885 --> 00:05:38,753
Somebody should keep
him under observation.
111
00:05:38,788 --> 00:05:41,039
Step aside, don't push!
112
00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:51,483
We can't all get through
the door at the same time.
113
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,002
Exidor!
114
00:05:54,037 --> 00:05:58,389
Mork, is that you?
115
00:05:58,425 --> 00:05:59,457
I'm over here.
116
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,161
Would you step aside?
117
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,896
I can't see.
118
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,015
Ah...
119
00:06:07,050 --> 00:06:08,567
there you are.
120
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:13,371
Mork, my old
friend, you've grown.
121
00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:17,826
Oh, I can't take
any more of this.
122
00:06:17,861 --> 00:06:19,327
What time is it?
123
00:06:19,362 --> 00:06:21,462
Uh, it's 9:30.
124
00:06:21,498 --> 00:06:23,598
Good. Time for lunch.
125
00:06:26,069 --> 00:06:27,368
See you later.
126
00:06:29,372 --> 00:06:33,341
Lovely woman, but strange.
127
00:06:33,376 --> 00:06:35,744
Exidor, you remember Pops?
128
00:06:35,779 --> 00:06:37,178
Are you Chinese?
129
00:06:37,214 --> 00:06:38,479
Uh... no.
130
00:06:38,515 --> 00:06:42,400
Oh, I was in the mood
for a fortune cookie.
131
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:43,518
Oh, well,
132
00:06:43,553 --> 00:06:45,970
if, if you'll excuse
me, I have a client.
133
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:47,038
One that wears pants.
134
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,659
The man exudes charm.
135
00:06:50,694 --> 00:06:53,278
I have a feeling
in a previous life
136
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,697
he was a dust cover.
137
00:06:55,732 --> 00:06:58,817
So, how's the
preaching business?
138
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,095
Behind me.
139
00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:02,181
I have to look to the future.
140
00:07:02,205 --> 00:07:07,041
Mork, do you have
any idea how old I am?
141
00:07:07,076 --> 00:07:08,243
Wrong!
142
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:15,016
Next Wednesday
afternoon I'll be 12 years old.
143
00:07:15,051 --> 00:07:16,801
Whoa, you're awfully
mature for your age.
144
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:19,454
Guilt without sex!
145
00:07:19,489 --> 00:07:21,189
That's the key.
146
00:07:23,393 --> 00:07:26,961
I'm too old to stand on
street corners preaching.
147
00:07:26,997 --> 00:07:28,930
I've got to settle down.
148
00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:31,216
Get a straight conventional job.
149
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,779
What do you think
you'd like to be?
150
00:07:32,803 --> 00:07:34,368
Emperor of the Earth!
151
00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:37,738
Exidor the Emperor.
152
00:07:37,774 --> 00:07:39,257
Has a nice ring to it.
153
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:42,226
You won't be taking
anybody else's job.
154
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:43,778
I know what I can do.
155
00:07:43,813 --> 00:07:44,779
I'll help you get elected.
156
00:07:44,815 --> 00:07:45,991
I'll be your campaign manager.
157
00:07:46,015 --> 00:07:47,015
I know what we'll do.
158
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,994
First we'll get a tub to
thump, some babies to kiss.
159
00:07:49,018 --> 00:07:49,984
Then we'll get
another set of lips
160
00:07:50,019 --> 00:07:51,430
so you can talk out of
both sides of your mouth.
161
00:07:51,454 --> 00:07:52,437
Mork!
162
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,221
Yes, yes! I know it'll work.
163
00:07:54,257 --> 00:07:55,584
Then we'll get you
some hands to shake.
164
00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:56,574
Some backs to slap.
165
00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,020
We could get you some
money to pass under a table.
166
00:07:58,044 --> 00:07:59,744
A laundry to clean
it, a Korean park.
167
00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:00,511
Mork!
168
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:01,129
I know, we'll build
169
00:08:01,165 --> 00:08:02,175
a public image for you.
170
00:08:02,199 --> 00:08:03,309
First of all, you'll
have a debate.
171
00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:04,477
You'll lose it. You'll
make a come-back.
172
00:08:04,501 --> 00:08:05,501
Then you rent a motel.
173
00:08:05,535 --> 00:08:07,095
You get Cuban
burglars to break into it.
174
00:08:08,105 --> 00:08:09,304
Then you have some tapes.
175
00:08:09,339 --> 00:08:10,616
18 minutes will be
missing on the tapes.
176
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,907
Mork, wise up!
177
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:18,145
You can't get elected Emperor.
178
00:08:18,181 --> 00:08:21,416
Do you have any idea
who runs this world?
179
00:08:21,451 --> 00:08:24,485
Wrong again!
180
00:08:24,521 --> 00:08:28,256
I'll tell you who
runs this world.
181
00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:30,992
Joe Cocker!
182
00:08:31,028 --> 00:08:32,426
No!
183
00:08:32,462 --> 00:08:33,555
Yes.
184
00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:34,529
Mick Jagger.
185
00:08:34,565 --> 00:08:35,597
Him, too?
186
00:08:35,632 --> 00:08:36,498
Bette Midler.
187
00:08:36,533 --> 00:08:37,832
I'd serve under her.
188
00:08:37,868 --> 00:08:38,878
Yes,
189
00:08:38,902 --> 00:08:41,002
rock stars, Mork.
190
00:08:41,038 --> 00:08:42,170
Rock stars.
191
00:08:42,205 --> 00:08:45,873
And they don't have
a leader... until now.
192
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,660
That's right.
193
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:52,163
I'm going to be the rock star.
194
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:57,034
That's why I'm taking
lessons from Mrs. Hudson.
195
00:08:57,069 --> 00:08:59,888
I'm going out on tour, Mork.
196
00:08:59,923 --> 00:09:03,058
We'll start slow at first.
197
00:09:03,093 --> 00:09:04,975
The Superdome...
198
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:08,245
The Garden... Woodstock.
199
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:11,599
Then... jump
across the big pond...
200
00:09:14,704 --> 00:09:16,654
England... France.
201
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,924
I'll take France in 26 days.
202
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:24,212
Then we sweep across
Europe, amplifiers blaring.
203
00:09:24,247 --> 00:09:26,981
We take Russia, China.
204
00:09:27,016 --> 00:09:30,935
We take Africa.
205
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:36,674
And then... they
make me emperor.
206
00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:39,911
Sounds reasonable.
207
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:42,063
You can say you
knew me then, Mork.
208
00:09:42,098 --> 00:09:44,899
You've been a good friend to me.
209
00:09:44,935 --> 00:09:49,236
Anything you ever
want, come to me.
210
00:09:49,272 --> 00:09:51,083
Well, there is one favor
I'd like to ask of you.
211
00:09:51,107 --> 00:09:52,073
Name it.
212
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:54,542
Well, see, Mindy's
been working very hard,
213
00:09:54,577 --> 00:09:56,327
and she needs a place...
214
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:59,497
Would you stop
playing with that thing.
215
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,348
The man needs a favor.
216
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:04,802
No big deal.
217
00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:06,182
Exidor, Mindy needs a place
218
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,451
where she can go rest
for a couple of days,
219
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:09,585
get away from it all.
220
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,476
Would you like to drive
or take a little hike?
221
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,654
I'll take the hike.
222
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:14,312
I have the perfect place.
223
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,296
My summer home.
224
00:10:15,332 --> 00:10:16,881
You have a summer home?
225
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:19,717
I bought it four years
ago when I was a doctor.
226
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:24,005
Now this is the scenic route.
227
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,739
You park your car here
228
00:10:25,775 --> 00:10:28,809
and walk the three
miles to the cabin.
229
00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:29,906
But that's a lake.
230
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:32,263
Oh... you walk around the lake.
231
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:35,483
Exidor walks across the lake.
232
00:10:35,519 --> 00:10:36,184
Thank you, Exidor.
233
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,346
Mindy'll really appreciate that.
234
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,938
An emperor takes
care of his subjects.
235
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,205
Have a nice vacation.
236
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,352
You have a nice career,
but there's one thing.
237
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,521
Your plan to become
emperor sounds really good,
238
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:46,989
but... it relies on one thing...
239
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,273
Your having talent.
240
00:10:48,297 --> 00:10:52,817
Well, that's never stopped
any rock group before.
241
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:56,387
Besides, you've
never seen me perform.
242
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:57,922
Mork, you wait right here.
243
00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:59,290
I'll get my ax.
244
00:11:02,145 --> 00:11:03,594
Give me an intro, Mork.
245
00:11:04,814 --> 00:11:05,841
Ladies and gentlemen,
246
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,576
get ready to get down
into a tucked position
247
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,445
'cause you're gonna be
blown out of your shorts
248
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:10,451
and into your socks.
249
00:11:10,486 --> 00:11:13,304
Here he comes,
let's all get down here,
250
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,505
get back up again.
251
00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:16,808
Here he comes,
the Duke of Disco,
252
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:17,792
the Prince of Punk,
253
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:19,577
the King of Rock and Roll,
254
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:21,813
the future Emperor of the World,
255
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:25,433
let's bring him out here,
Exidor and the Proph-ettes!
256
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:33,725
♪ Lady of Spain, I adore you ♪
257
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:38,129
♪ Right from the
night I first saw you ♪
258
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:42,467
♪ My heart has been
yearning for you... ♪
259
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,286
Mork, I am freezing.
260
00:11:45,321 --> 00:11:46,398
Come on, Mindy.
261
00:11:46,422 --> 00:11:47,462
We're almost there.
262
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:52,977
Mork, I can't believe
we finally made it.
263
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,658
I thought you were supposed
to be such a trailblazer.
264
00:11:56,682 --> 00:11:58,549
Well, I made it
from Ork to Earth,
265
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,684
but there were no trees.
266
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,320
I wonder when we lost the trail.
267
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:06,324
I suspect it was right
before we fell off the cliff.
268
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,558
Well, I owe you an apology.
269
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:08,892
Next time you can land on me.
270
00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:11,929
How's your ankle?
271
00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:13,731
Ow.
272
00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:15,966
It's still sprained.
273
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:19,482
But at least now the toes
are finally facing forward.
274
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,783
Well, tomorrow morning I'll
go looking for our luggage.
275
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:22,807
I hope it didn't sink.
276
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,477
Are you sure you heard a splash?
277
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,224
I don't know if it was
that or the avalanche.
278
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,547
I hope that beaver isn't hurt.
279
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,427
Well, what was a
beaver doing out strolling
280
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:32,928
in the middle of
the night anyway?
281
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,763
Why wasn't he in his darn dam
282
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,965
guarding his sticks
and his twigs?
283
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:38,934
Do you know how yucky it is
284
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,969
to step on a beaver's tail?
285
00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:43,127
I didn't know those little
suckers could scream.
286
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:50,801
Well, he won't be sending
any more little beaver messages
287
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:52,314
with that tail for a while.
288
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:53,582
Mindy, you're not gonna
have a nice weekend
289
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,916
if you keep up with
those negative thoughts.
290
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:57,741
Mork, I stepped on a
beaver, I fell off a cliff
291
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,211
and you landed on
me, I sprained my ankle
292
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:03,981
and my luggage is shooting the
rapids on the way to Lake Mead.
293
00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:06,083
And your scenic
little three-mile hike
294
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,851
was up the face of a cliff.
295
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:09,420
I knew we were in big trouble
296
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,556
when that mountain
goat tumbled by.
297
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:14,892
Boy, I didn't know they
could scream either.
298
00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:17,027
I'm cold and I
can't walk anymore
299
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:19,397
and I'm freezing to death.
300
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:20,598
But you're right.
301
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,633
You are right.
302
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:22,966
Why should I be negative?
303
00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:25,169
What else could possibly happen?
304
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:26,485
Well, I could have lost the key.
305
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,922
Just open the door.
306
00:13:34,163 --> 00:13:36,513
You lost the key?
307
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,669
No, he never gave me one.
308
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:39,267
What!
309
00:13:39,302 --> 00:13:41,813
Mork, we'll freeze to
death if we stay out here.
310
00:13:41,837 --> 00:13:43,115
Kick the door in.
311
00:13:43,139 --> 00:13:44,650
But it's my friend's...
Kick the door in.
312
00:13:44,674 --> 00:13:46,018
But on Ork we...
Kick the door in.
313
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,042
But... Kick.
314
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,110
Mork...
315
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:05,510
It wasn't locked.
316
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:08,546
Oh, dopey me!
317
00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:19,035
Well, we better
hit the sack now.
318
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,237
Tell you what, I'll flip
you for the top bunk.
319
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,560
You can have it.
320
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:23,923
I don't think I could
stand the climb.
321
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,012
Kay-o.
322
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:32,653
Looks like we'll be
sleeping on Mr. Floor tonight.
323
00:14:32,689 --> 00:14:35,690
Oh, I wish there was
some way back to the car.
324
00:14:35,725 --> 00:14:37,124
We got lost during daylight.
325
00:14:37,159 --> 00:14:38,637
Imagine what it'd
be like at night.
326
00:14:38,661 --> 00:14:42,029
And, besides, that
beaver's out looking for us.
327
00:14:43,232 --> 00:14:44,932
You're right.
328
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,501
I guess there's
nothing we can do
329
00:14:46,536 --> 00:14:48,135
but just make the best of this.
330
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,942
Well, you gotta look at
the good side, though.
331
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,545
At least have three walls
and a roof over our heads.
332
00:15:06,189 --> 00:15:08,589
Well, if it wasn't snowing,
333
00:15:08,624 --> 00:15:11,064
the stars would
be awfully pretty.
334
00:15:13,229 --> 00:15:15,329
Oh, isn't this fun?
335
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,367
I love eating out.
336
00:15:20,402 --> 00:15:21,568
I don't know.
337
00:15:21,604 --> 00:15:22,870
Somehow I just can't picture
338
00:15:22,905 --> 00:15:25,239
John Wayne sitting in
front of a roaring campfire
339
00:15:25,274 --> 00:15:27,541
roasting Vienna sausage.
340
00:15:27,576 --> 00:15:29,121
That's all Exidor
had in the cabinet.
341
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:30,211
That and the mouse.
342
00:15:30,246 --> 00:15:32,579
Mork, that wasn't a mouse.
343
00:15:32,615 --> 00:15:35,649
It was a moldy,
fuzzy gray avocado.
344
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:38,452
But it crawled.
345
00:15:38,487 --> 00:15:39,487
I know.
346
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,488
Do you know that the only thing
347
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,057
between us and
death is this fire?
348
00:15:43,092 --> 00:15:46,026
We've gotta do
something else to get warm.
349
00:15:47,296 --> 00:15:48,296
Hey, wait a minute.
350
00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:49,764
What about this little trunk?
351
00:15:49,799 --> 00:15:52,166
Mindy, both of us
couldn't fit in there.
352
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:53,600
Although it might be fun to try.
353
00:15:54,771 --> 00:15:56,581
No, I mean, there might
be some old blankets
354
00:15:56,605 --> 00:15:57,783
or clothes in there.
355
00:15:57,807 --> 00:15:58,873
I know that.
356
00:15:58,908 --> 00:16:00,407
Who do you think
you're talking to,
357
00:16:00,442 --> 00:16:02,676
Morko the pinheaded boy?
358
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,544
Wait, don't open it.
359
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:06,914
Do you think that avocado
could have crawled in there?
360
00:16:06,949 --> 00:16:08,282
Wait!
361
00:16:08,317 --> 00:16:10,717
No, there's no trail of
guacamole, we're safe.
362
00:16:14,957 --> 00:16:16,723
What's this?
363
00:16:16,759 --> 00:16:18,859
Confessions of a Schizophrenic
364
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:21,195
by Exidor as told to Exidor.
365
00:16:26,335 --> 00:16:27,902
Here's something. Wait.
366
00:16:27,937 --> 00:16:28,969
Oh, wait.
367
00:16:29,005 --> 00:16:30,604
Look, look...
368
00:16:30,639 --> 00:16:35,409
his and hers... prophet robes.
369
00:16:35,444 --> 00:16:38,445
Well, at least they're
made out of flannel.
370
00:16:38,481 --> 00:16:41,883
Well, I don't know about
you, but I'm pretty tired.
371
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,417
Time to hit the old sack.
372
00:16:43,452 --> 00:16:45,787
No place to hang, so I
guess I'll just have to rough it
373
00:16:45,822 --> 00:16:46,954
and sleep horizontal.
374
00:16:46,990 --> 00:16:49,740
No, Mork, you don't understand.
375
00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:51,721
If we fall asleep
and the fire goes out,
376
00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:52,643
we'll freeze to death.
377
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,546
You mean stiff city?
378
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,548
Oh, I suggest we stay awake.
379
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,650
We'll be as tight as
two cubes in a tray.
380
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:02,353
Well, what do you do
381
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,955
to stay awake when
you go camping?
382
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:08,459
Well, we, we used to roast
marshmallows and sing songs.
383
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:09,727
Sing songs, that's it.
384
00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:11,161
Here we go, hit it.
385
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:19,303
Come on, Mindy. Join in anytime.
386
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:22,006
Come on.
387
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:27,311
I don't know how to
count backwards in Orkan.
388
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:28,279
Oh, bummer.
389
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:29,614
Here's one that's universal.
390
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,215
♪ Kumbaya... ♪
391
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,454
Well, what else can we do?
392
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,823
Well, we used to tell ghost
stories by the campfire.
393
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,168
Oh, that'd be fun. Let's do it.
394
00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:41,871
Come on, come on,
come on, let's do it.
395
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,039
No, I'm not telling
you a ghost story.
396
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,029
Come on, come on!
397
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,975
No, you'll get scared.
I'm not telling you.
398
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,365
I won't get scared.
399
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,045
Besides, would you
rather be a snow cone?
400
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,869
Let's do it.
401
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,103
Okay.
402
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:55,673
Uh, there was this
spooky old house
403
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,420
sitting at, way at
the top of a hill...
404
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,076
No...!
405
00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:01,412
No...!
406
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,950
All right, go ahead.
407
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,945
Oh, Mindy. Hmm?
408
00:18:17,980 --> 00:18:19,447
Wake up. Wake up.
409
00:18:19,482 --> 00:18:21,398
We fell asleep. Look.
410
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,650
Oh, no.
411
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,663
We have to get it going again.
412
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:25,898
Here, stir the embers.
413
00:18:25,922 --> 00:18:27,198
Oh, I'm so cold.
414
00:18:27,222 --> 00:18:28,222
Cold.
415
00:18:28,257 --> 00:18:29,300
Any matches?
416
00:18:29,324 --> 00:18:31,391
Ah, okay.
417
00:18:31,427 --> 00:18:32,560
I can't find the matches.
418
00:18:32,595 --> 00:18:33,561
Oh, no.
419
00:18:33,596 --> 00:18:34,695
I, I can't find my pockets.
420
00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:36,396
I can't feel my
hands. I can't...
421
00:18:36,432 --> 00:18:39,199
Oh, I've got my gloves on.
422
00:18:39,234 --> 00:18:40,601
Oh, let's see.
423
00:18:40,636 --> 00:18:42,536
Ah, ah! I got 'em.
424
00:18:42,572 --> 00:18:43,815
Oh, good.
425
00:18:43,839 --> 00:18:44,805
Ha, ha, ha.
426
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,307
Oh, only one match left.
427
00:18:47,342 --> 00:18:48,576
Oh, no.
428
00:18:48,611 --> 00:18:50,622
But there's still six
hours left until daylight.
429
00:18:50,646 --> 00:18:51,990
If we don't get this fire going,
430
00:18:52,014 --> 00:18:53,581
we're not gonna make it.
431
00:18:53,616 --> 00:18:54,949
I'll do it. I'll do it.
432
00:18:54,984 --> 00:18:57,084
Okay.
433
00:18:57,119 --> 00:18:58,552
Okay, read the instructions.
434
00:18:58,588 --> 00:19:02,289
"Close cover before striking."
435
00:19:02,324 --> 00:19:03,891
Look, Mindy, you
can finish high school
436
00:19:03,926 --> 00:19:05,846
in your spare time. Mork.
437
00:19:09,131 --> 00:19:10,798
Please...
438
00:19:15,771 --> 00:19:18,138
I saw that in a movie once.
439
00:19:18,173 --> 00:19:19,250
Hey, I've got it.
440
00:19:19,274 --> 00:19:20,986
You can start the
fire with your finger.
441
00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:22,142
That's a great idea.
442
00:19:22,177 --> 00:19:24,111
Except it only works
when it's above 60 degrees.
443
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,081
Come on, Mindy.
444
00:19:27,116 --> 00:19:28,148
We've gotta keep moving.
445
00:19:28,183 --> 00:19:29,360
Gotta keep the
circulation going.
446
00:19:29,384 --> 00:19:31,051
Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
447
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,452
Mork, I can't.
448
00:19:32,488 --> 00:19:33,453
Well, come on, girl.
449
00:19:33,489 --> 00:19:35,089
You gotta take the
bull by the tentacles.
450
00:19:35,124 --> 00:19:36,389
Let's go. Come on.
451
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:37,891
I can't, Mork.
452
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,127
I just, I can't.
453
00:19:41,998 --> 00:19:43,330
Ah, you're right.
454
00:19:43,365 --> 00:19:44,798
Who am I kidding?
455
00:19:44,834 --> 00:19:47,267
I can't walk either.
456
00:19:47,302 --> 00:19:48,568
Mindy.
457
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:51,739
Ah, I'm sorry I
got you into this.
458
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:52,906
Ever since you've met me,
459
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,407
I've been getting
you into trouble.
460
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:57,477
Oh, Mork, don't be silly.
461
00:19:57,513 --> 00:20:03,133
I wouldn't trade a minute of
the time we've spent together.
462
00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:05,636
You know, I remember
the first time I saw you.
463
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:08,834
You had your suit on backwards.
464
00:20:08,858 --> 00:20:11,759
I remember the first
emotion you taught me...
465
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:14,161
Happiness.
466
00:20:14,197 --> 00:20:18,449
I'm just sorry that the last
emotion we're sharing is fear.
467
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:22,587
Yeah, I guess I am afraid.
468
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:26,173
It's nice to be
sharing it, though.
469
00:20:26,208 --> 00:20:27,358
I know.
470
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,503
Mork, why don't you try
471
00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:30,205
to make it down the
mountain yourself?
472
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,973
I mean, what have
you got to lose?
473
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,214
You.
474
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:40,971
You know, whenever
people have the time,
475
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,818
they never get around
to saying the things
476
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:44,891
they really want to say.
477
00:20:44,927 --> 00:20:47,206
Now I really want
you to know how I feel.
478
00:20:47,230 --> 00:20:49,580
You don't have to.
479
00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:51,248
I know how you feel.
480
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,203
And I know how you feel.
481
00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:00,391
You hear something?
482
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,525
What?
483
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,327
It sounds like a car.
484
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:05,441
Oh, Mork, you have to
have a road to have a car.
485
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:08,715
♪ Lady of Spain, I adore you ♪
486
00:21:08,751 --> 00:21:10,517
What's that?
487
00:21:10,552 --> 00:21:12,119
It's the future
emperor of the world.
488
00:21:12,154 --> 00:21:13,653
And he just got my vote.
489
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,756
I told you to wait in the Jeep.
490
00:21:15,791 --> 00:21:18,558
We can't just go
barging in on them,
491
00:21:18,594 --> 00:21:20,727
after all, they've got a life.
492
00:21:20,763 --> 00:21:23,563
Ah, Mork.
493
00:21:23,599 --> 00:21:25,065
Have any trouble getting in?
494
00:21:26,735 --> 00:21:28,202
You have a Jeep?
495
00:21:28,237 --> 00:21:29,320
Yes.
496
00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:32,189
About 30 yards
away on a fire road.
497
00:21:32,225 --> 00:21:34,491
I was packing to go out on tour
498
00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:37,911
and I remembered I hadn't
given you a key to the cabin.
499
00:21:37,947 --> 00:21:40,681
You mean we could
have driven up here?
500
00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,115
Sure.
501
00:21:42,151 --> 00:21:44,935
But you said you
wanted to go for a hike.
502
00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:47,254
How'd you like the scenic route?
503
00:21:47,290 --> 00:21:50,291
We don't make cliffs
like that anymore.
504
00:21:52,328 --> 00:21:54,194
Well, here's the key.
505
00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:56,396
Have a nice weekend.
506
00:21:56,432 --> 00:21:57,932
Exidor.
507
00:21:57,967 --> 00:21:59,382
Mindy hurt her ankle.
508
00:21:59,418 --> 00:22:01,385
Can you please give
us a ride down the hill?
509
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:03,921
Sure, if you don't
mind the seven of us
510
00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:05,890
jammed into one
tiny little Jeep.
511
00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:08,859
Seven people sounds
wonderfully warm.
512
00:22:08,895 --> 00:22:10,695
But his kind of people
don't have much warmth.
513
00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:13,230
Zippo.
514
00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:15,065
I'm sorry what
happened to the cabin.
515
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:20,470
What's wrong with it?
516
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,089
Well, let's go, boys.
517
00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:27,845
Oh, sure is a beautiful night.
518
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,013
It sure is.
519
00:22:46,348 --> 00:22:47,514
Mork calling Orson.
520
00:22:47,550 --> 00:22:49,283
Come in, Orson.
521
00:22:49,318 --> 00:22:50,784
Mork calling Orson.
522
00:22:50,819 --> 00:22:52,118
Come in, Orson.
523
00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:03,296
Mork calling Orson.
524
00:23:04,733 --> 00:23:06,378
Come in, Orson.
525
00:23:08,136 --> 00:23:10,571
Oh, "For a good
time, dial Mary Jo."
526
00:23:10,606 --> 00:23:13,185
What do you have to
report this week, Mork?
527
00:23:13,209 --> 00:23:15,075
Oh, this week, Your Immenseness,
528
00:23:15,110 --> 00:23:17,628
I would like to discuss the
silliness of Earth language.
529
00:23:17,663 --> 00:23:19,296
Believe it or not, Your Acreage,
530
00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:21,532
here words can mean
more than one thing.
531
00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:22,844
That's illogical.
532
00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:23,918
Ha, I know, sir.
533
00:23:23,953 --> 00:23:26,403
Take, for example,
the word "run."
534
00:23:26,438 --> 00:23:28,505
Run can mean this...
535
00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:30,907
rivers running...
536
00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:32,376
people run down...
537
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:33,543
and men can run stores.
538
00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:36,246
Miss Filmon, a sale in lingerie.
539
00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:39,283
Also, the female of the species
can get a run in her stockings.
540
00:23:39,318 --> 00:23:40,562
Oh, no.
541
00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:42,781
It all sounds very confusing.
542
00:23:42,805 --> 00:23:45,072
I know, sir, but they still
manage to communicate.
543
00:23:45,107 --> 00:23:46,357
For example, the word "buck."
544
00:23:46,392 --> 00:23:48,725
They know when to pass
it and when to spend it.
545
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,512
How do Earth people
understand each other?
546
00:23:51,547 --> 00:23:52,591
Many times they don't.
547
00:23:52,615 --> 00:23:54,276
Sometimes humans
find it very difficult
548
00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:56,444
to tell each other how
they feel about one another
549
00:23:56,468 --> 00:23:57,734
until it's too late.
550
00:23:57,769 --> 00:23:58,780
Pity.
551
00:23:58,804 --> 00:23:59,853
I know, sir.
552
00:23:59,889 --> 00:24:01,422
They have a strange custom here.
553
00:24:01,457 --> 00:24:03,101
I believe people
should receive flowers
554
00:24:03,125 --> 00:24:05,459
while they're still alive,
not after they're gone.
555
00:24:05,494 --> 00:24:09,730
For example, sir, I never
told you that I like you and I do.
556
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:16,570
Orson...
557
00:24:16,605 --> 00:24:18,905
Thanks.
558
00:24:18,940 --> 00:24:20,106
Nanu.
559
00:24:24,946 --> 00:24:26,866
How'd you know I
had the munchies?
38154
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