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1
00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:09,591
Nanu-nanu.
2
00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:20,850
Shazbot!
3
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:29,688
Able to leap over
tall buildings? Hah!
4
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:33,308
Anybody can do
that in zero gravity.
5
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,743
What's the big deal about that?
6
00:01:34,779 --> 00:01:37,779
They call him Superman for that?
7
00:01:37,814 --> 00:01:39,197
Oh, I'm perturbed.
8
00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:41,194
I've got to write
a letter about this.
9
00:01:41,218 --> 00:01:42,917
Miss Smith, take some dictation.
10
00:01:42,953 --> 00:01:44,331
No way!
11
00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:46,003
All right,
12
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,140
I'll do it myself.
13
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:54,162
Dear Superman. Ding.
14
00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:55,791
I am writing you this letter
because I'm really perturbed.
15
00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:57,882
Ding.
16
00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:01,302
How can you call yourself a
man of steel if you wear blue tights
17
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:03,405
with the underwear
on the outside? Ding.
18
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:06,524
Everyone knows that Krypton is
the Miami Beach of the Universe.
19
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,659
Ding.
20
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:10,395
You're a jive turkey
in red booties.
21
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:11,963
Ding.
22
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:14,016
Love, your friend,
Mork from Ork.
23
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,417
Ding.
24
00:02:15,452 --> 00:02:16,835
PS, Don't you sweat a lot,
25
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:17,836
wearing two suits?
26
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:18,970
Ding.
27
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:20,922
Good morning.
28
00:02:20,957 --> 00:02:22,424
Oh, God bless you.
29
00:02:22,459 --> 00:02:23,970
Do you know where
I can get a stamp?
30
00:02:23,994 --> 00:02:26,428
Oh, sure, I think there's
some over there in the drawer.
31
00:02:26,463 --> 00:02:27,429
Ah, good.
32
00:02:27,464 --> 00:02:28,674
Where are you sending a letter?
33
00:02:28,698 --> 00:02:30,698
Metropolis.
34
00:02:32,869 --> 00:02:34,580
Well, I have to go to
work early this morning,
35
00:02:34,604 --> 00:02:35,924
'cause Grandma's
not feeling well.
36
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,373
Shazbot!
37
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:45,230
Whoa! The mice
must be taking steroids.
38
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,344
It's that Bickley creep again.
39
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,078
You mean that nice man
that moved in downstairs?
40
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,647
Nice?!
41
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,637
Haven't you met him yet?
42
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:52,971
No, I've been too busy reading
43
00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:55,374
these alien newsletters.
44
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:56,519
Well, that Bickley character
45
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:57,921
has been making
my life miserable.
46
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,422
While you're safe
up in your attic,
47
00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:00,824
he's always
pounding on his ceiling
48
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,525
which happens to be
attached to my floor.
49
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:05,667
Well, you know, Mindy, one
man's ceiling is another man's floor.
50
00:03:05,703 --> 00:03:07,313
That's some heavy
apartment philosophy
51
00:03:07,337 --> 00:03:08,698
and you've got to remember that.
52
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:11,322
And the worst part is, I'm
not even a noisy person.
53
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,409
I can't stand it.
54
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,561
Mindy, you earthlings must
learn some more virtues,
55
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:17,562
like being more tolerant.
56
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:18,663
We have a saying on Ork,
57
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,832
"Tolerance is
next to cowardice."
58
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,514
Don't Orkans ever
have any problems
59
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,015
with unreasonable neighbors?
60
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,600
Well, one time the
planet next to us blew up,
61
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,924
we all complained about it,
and they never did it again.
62
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,578
Well, that's wonderful,
but I don't think I can wait
63
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:34,891
for his apartment to blow up.
64
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,859
I've been down there
three times already
65
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,177
and it hasn't done any good.
66
00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:39,345
You just have
to learn to adjust.
67
00:03:39,369 --> 00:03:41,430
How can I adjust to
constant pounding?
68
00:03:41,454 --> 00:03:43,755
Oh, make it fun. Watch this.
69
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:48,404
♪ I can tell by the way
you hold your teeth ♪
70
00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,239
♪ You're an older man
with a lot to bequeath ♪
71
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:51,563
♪ Ah, ah ♪
72
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,209
♪ I can tell by the
way you take that pill ♪
73
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,844
♪ You're about to
sign your only will ♪
74
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,868
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
75
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,737
♪ Barely alive, barely alive! ♪
76
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:09,881
Mork, I don't have happy
feet, I have angry ears
77
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,544
and that guy is
really bugging me.
78
00:04:11,568 --> 00:04:12,934
Oh? Well, you'll just have to be
79
00:04:12,969 --> 00:04:14,246
a little more acoustically
understanding.
80
00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:15,737
Understanding?!
81
00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:17,183
Well, why don't
you go talk to him
82
00:04:17,207 --> 00:04:18,834
and see how
understanding you feel.
83
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:20,136
Listen, I got to get to work.
84
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,371
I'll see you later, okay?
85
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:22,471
Ciao. Bye.
86
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,600
No, thanks! I'll
sit this one out!
87
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,002
I give it about a 65, though!
88
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,319
It's got a good beat, but
a little hard to dance to!
89
00:04:45,135 --> 00:04:46,901
Quiet up there!
90
00:04:46,936 --> 00:04:49,404
I'm not a ventriloquist.
I'm out here.
91
00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:52,307
Oh, interruptions,
interruptions...
92
00:04:52,342 --> 00:04:53,475
Who are you?
93
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:54,920
Hello, I'm Mork. Nanu-nanu.
94
00:04:54,944 --> 00:04:58,480
No, no, no, no. Get out of here.
95
00:04:59,582 --> 00:05:01,716
Oh, what is it, what is it?
96
00:05:01,751 --> 00:05:02,828
I'm still Mork.
I'm from upstairs.
97
00:05:02,852 --> 00:05:03,918
Oh, you.
98
00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:07,355
I've been wanting
to talk to you, Bigfoot.
99
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,102
You and your noisy girlfriend
100
00:05:09,126 --> 00:05:11,437
have been driving
me out of my mind.
101
00:05:11,461 --> 00:05:12,461
What a coincidence.
102
00:05:12,496 --> 00:05:13,673
She says the same
thing about you.
103
00:05:13,697 --> 00:05:15,747
Look, I'm trying
to work down here.
104
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:18,950
It's tough enough without you
guys tromping around up there.
105
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:22,187
I'd rather live under the
Harlem Globetrotters.
106
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:24,989
Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy.
107
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,975
What are these?
108
00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:28,743
Those are greeting cards.
109
00:05:28,779 --> 00:05:31,446
I design and illustrate
greeting cards.
110
00:05:31,481 --> 00:05:32,558
What are greeting cards?
111
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:36,067
A gold mine,
that's what they are.
112
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:39,504
Every simple-minded idiot
whose mother has a birthday
113
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:43,724
can't think what to blow
his last sixty cents on.
114
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,210
Eh, thanks to me,
115
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:49,898
he can now send a
simple, stupid, sappy card,
116
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:53,351
filled with phony sentiment.
117
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,427
Oh, that sounds
fantastic! Read me one.
118
00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:59,257
Yeah, you probably
would like this drivel.
119
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:02,727
"To my mother."
120
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,245
Ew.
121
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:09,067
"Your smile to me
is like the dawn"
122
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,803
Oh, gee...
123
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,005
"Whose coming hides the darkness
124
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:18,176
"and lifts the sorrow
from my aching heart.
125
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:20,557
"If only I could
tell you, Mother,
126
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:23,331
"what your life
has meant to mine,
127
00:06:23,366 --> 00:06:27,702
"then I could die a happy man,
128
00:06:27,738 --> 00:06:30,972
although it means we part."
129
00:06:32,909 --> 00:06:34,125
That's beautiful.
130
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,562
Garbage.
131
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,731
How can you say that
about your own poetry?
132
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:40,882
Hey, it pays the bills.
133
00:06:40,918 --> 00:06:42,684
I don't have to like it.
134
00:06:42,719 --> 00:06:44,352
Oh, look.
135
00:06:44,388 --> 00:06:46,288
Look at the pretty bunnies.
136
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,689
Yeah.
137
00:06:47,724 --> 00:06:50,992
A hunter I know lets
me draw his rabbits
138
00:06:51,027 --> 00:06:53,428
before he skins them.
139
00:06:55,265 --> 00:06:57,832
Here's another one.
140
00:06:57,867 --> 00:06:59,078
"What is a friend?"
141
00:06:59,102 --> 00:07:01,703
Oh, brother...
142
00:07:01,738 --> 00:07:04,472
"A person who is kind and just,
143
00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:07,208
"A person full
of love and trust,
144
00:07:07,243 --> 00:07:10,603
"Who knows your faults but
doesn't give a flying care...
145
00:07:11,948 --> 00:07:13,526
Who, when you
call, is always there."
146
00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:14,683
Yeah, I know, I know.
147
00:07:14,718 --> 00:07:16,996
"A person who will e'er be true
148
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,931
"A person who is just like you."
149
00:07:22,225 --> 00:07:24,675
Swill.
150
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:27,145
Oh, it's not only
swell, it's fantastic.
151
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,991
Read me another one, please.
152
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,283
I don't want to talk to you.
153
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,266
Ah, but yet you are.
154
00:07:32,302 --> 00:07:33,579
See how considerate
you're being?
155
00:07:33,603 --> 00:07:34,803
I'm not being considerate.
156
00:07:34,838 --> 00:07:36,604
Oh, and you're modest too.
157
00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:40,841
Oh, no, it's those kids again.
158
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,211
I can't get any work done.
159
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:46,547
Hey! Hey, kid!
160
00:07:46,583 --> 00:07:48,016
Yes, you!
161
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,518
Now that was a terrific throw.
162
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,386
Let's see you do it again.
163
00:07:53,123 --> 00:07:55,156
Oh-ho! Amazing!
164
00:07:55,192 --> 00:07:57,759
Do you think you
can throw it to me?
165
00:07:57,794 --> 00:07:59,027
Ah...
166
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,244
Oh-ho!
167
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,339
Scuzzy little yard monkey!
168
00:08:14,477 --> 00:08:15,989
I really ought to
take these down
169
00:08:16,013 --> 00:08:19,463
to the orphanage and sell them.
170
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,983
You wonderful guy, you.
171
00:08:22,019 --> 00:08:23,229
What are you talking about?
172
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:25,403
I know what you're trying to do.
173
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:26,983
You're trying to hide it
underneath that crust,
174
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,050
but I know, deep down inside,
175
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:29,736
you're trying to save
that young kid's life.
176
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:30,709
If he had taken this ball,
177
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,254
he might have thrown
it out in the street,
178
00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:33,989
then a truck would have
come along and hit him,
179
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,091
then he'd be in the hospital,
and all of his little friends
180
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:37,794
would have to send
him get-well cards, and...
181
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,617
Oh, no, you're more
than a wonderful guy,
182
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,369
you're a saint!
183
00:08:41,404 --> 00:08:42,999
You gave up your own
business just to save
184
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,088
that little kid's life.
185
00:08:49,245 --> 00:08:52,246
Hey, kid! Here's your ball!
186
00:08:58,054 --> 00:09:00,955
My life has been miserable
ever since he moved in.
187
00:09:00,991 --> 00:09:02,957
Boy, that guy
sounds like a real jerk.
188
00:09:02,993 --> 00:09:04,325
Oh, he's worse than that.
189
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,405
I don't know how I
can go on living there.
190
00:09:06,429 --> 00:09:09,213
I'll bet he'd pound
if I dropped a hint.
191
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:12,801
You know, your mother and I
moved into this apartment once,
192
00:09:12,836 --> 00:09:15,770
and there was somebody next
door who was pounding on the walls
193
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:16,938
for two days straight.
194
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,417
Well, finally, I
had enough of it
195
00:09:18,441 --> 00:09:20,052
and I went next
door to tell him off.
196
00:09:20,076 --> 00:09:20,992
Well, did you?
197
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:21,943
Nah, I couldn't.
198
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,629
It was a guy in traction
and his nurse had died.
199
00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:27,582
Oh, Dad!
200
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,803
That did make my day.
201
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,249
You want me to go
over and talk to him?
202
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:34,722
No, I can do it.
203
00:09:34,757 --> 00:09:37,725
It's just that I get so mad
every time it happens.
204
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,405
Mm, well, you see,
that's just it, Mindy.
205
00:09:39,429 --> 00:09:41,640
Sometimes you have to learn
how to handle these things
206
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:42,980
without getting mad.
207
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,132
Mm, that's what Mork says.
208
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:48,236
In that case, maybe I'm wrong.
209
00:09:49,739 --> 00:09:51,539
Hey, babe?
210
00:09:51,574 --> 00:09:52,907
Yeah?
211
00:09:52,943 --> 00:09:55,221
You the chick that sold
me this album last week?
212
00:09:55,245 --> 00:09:56,377
Well, we sell that album.
213
00:09:56,413 --> 00:09:57,456
Do you have a receipt?
214
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:58,979
You didn't give me a receipt.
215
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,616
I always staple the
receipt to the bag.
216
00:10:01,651 --> 00:10:04,218
You didn't give me a bag, honey.
217
00:10:04,253 --> 00:10:07,087
Well, what were you gonna
do, listen to it on the way home?
218
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,357
I'll handle this.
219
00:10:09,392 --> 00:10:10,853
Uh, what seems
to be the problem?
220
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:14,378
This chick you got working
for you is trying to rip me off.
221
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:19,099
I got no bag, I got no receipt,
and I got a defective album.
222
00:10:19,135 --> 00:10:20,418
What's wrong with it?
223
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:21,986
I don't like it.
224
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:23,955
Well, you can't return an album
225
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,957
just because you don't like it.
226
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:29,444
Well, I wouldn't
return it if I did like it.
227
00:10:29,479 --> 00:10:30,919
You know, I don't
like your attitude.
228
00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:33,427
Mindy, Mindy, Mindy,
Mindy... tolerance.
229
00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:37,468
What seems to be the
energy problem here?
230
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:39,220
I got a defective album.
231
00:10:39,256 --> 00:10:41,705
It's, uh, it's scratched.
232
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:43,786
Well, let's try and deal
with this in a holistic way.
233
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,288
Don't itch it and let it achieve
234
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,792
its own energy and heal itself.
235
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:52,149
I don't like your attitude.
236
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,013
That's because you haven't
got to know my essence yet.
237
00:10:54,037 --> 00:10:55,002
Tell you what.
238
00:10:55,038 --> 00:10:56,215
We'll get together,
we'll have cocktails,
239
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,616
and work out our karma together.
240
00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:01,042
I don't want to have
cocktails with your karma.
241
00:11:02,678 --> 00:11:03,689
Well, we'll get together
242
00:11:03,713 --> 00:11:05,224
and have a natural
breakfast, lunch or dinner.
243
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,959
You know, I feel an
incredible vibration from you.
244
00:11:06,983 --> 00:11:07,648
Let's share it.
245
00:11:07,683 --> 00:11:10,123
Come on, now, don't be afraid.
246
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:11,380
There we go.
247
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:12,548
You're an Aries, right?
248
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,506
Yeah. Fantastic! I knew it!
249
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:15,901
I see an incredible
potential in you.
250
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:18,003
You know, there's an amazing
being in all the universe
251
00:11:18,027 --> 00:11:19,305
that can be... and
you know what?
252
00:11:19,329 --> 00:11:21,006
I see a potential for
you in show business.
253
00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:22,330
I play guitar!
254
00:11:22,365 --> 00:11:23,331
Fantastic!
255
00:11:23,366 --> 00:11:24,577
Wow, psychic! I knew it.
256
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,579
Have your service
call my service,
257
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:29,019
and be here now...
If not, get there later.
258
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,623
Ciao!
259
00:11:37,346 --> 00:11:40,247
Well, I have to admit
that was really impressive.
260
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:41,544
Well, you just have
to use kindness,
261
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,096
that's how I
overcame Mr. Bickley.
262
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,830
You went down to
see Bickley today?
263
00:11:44,854 --> 00:11:46,699
Oh, yes. We're the
best of friends now.
264
00:11:46,723 --> 00:11:47,850
Oh, come on!
265
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,402
Oh, yeah! He said
stop by again real soon.
266
00:11:49,426 --> 00:11:51,426
By the way, when
does hell freeze over?
267
00:11:55,999 --> 00:11:57,265
Best of friends.
268
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,383
Oh, yes.
269
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,162
But Mindy, you have to
be real considerate of him,
270
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,331
he's getting a little old and
you know, losing a little bit,
271
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:03,966
because he must have
asked me ten or 12 times
272
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:05,256
if I wanted to take a hike.
273
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:08,059
Well, did you ever
get around to talking
274
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:09,271
about the noise problem?
275
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,706
No, no, mainly we
just talked about you.
276
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,674
He must have been a repairman
at some time or another,
277
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:14,276
because he keeps
wanting to fix your wagon.
278
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,767
I bet he would, too.
279
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,297
Well, he's not going
to get the chance.
280
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,303
Oh, yes, he will.
281
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,538
I invited him over for
dinner, tonight at 8:00.
282
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:22,735
And I feel the energy's right,
283
00:12:22,759 --> 00:12:23,925
so I'll catch you there.
284
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:24,960
The gestalt is now.
285
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:35,553
All right, let's see.
286
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,689
We'll bus you into
this neighborhood.
287
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,440
We'll put up a tenement here.
288
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:46,064
That should shock 'em.
289
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,899
All right, we'll move Lester
Maddox off the board.
290
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,712
Oh, good! By the
end of the game,
291
00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:53,120
we should have the
whole place integrated.
292
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:55,873
Hi.
293
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:56,874
Hi.
294
00:12:56,909 --> 00:12:58,343
What are you doing?
295
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,378
Playing Supreme Court.
296
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,609
Well, not to change the subject,
297
00:13:04,633 --> 00:13:06,546
but... I wish you
would check with me
298
00:13:06,570 --> 00:13:08,686
before you go inviting
anyone over here.
299
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:09,781
Oh, you mean like Mr. Bickley?
300
00:13:09,805 --> 00:13:11,105
Yeah, Mr. Bickley.
301
00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:13,974
And Susan Taylor, and
that Russian guy, Sergei.
302
00:13:14,009 --> 00:13:15,354
Well, Mindy, there's
an old Orkan saying
303
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,343
that applies to this.
304
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:17,557
You see, if someone
pounds on your ceiling
305
00:13:17,581 --> 00:13:19,258
because they don't like
the noise you're making,
306
00:13:19,282 --> 00:13:20,482
invite them over for dinner.
307
00:13:21,350 --> 00:13:23,818
What a wonderful saying.
308
00:13:23,853 --> 00:13:25,469
Look, Mork,
309
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,722
I don't want Bickley
in my apartment.
310
00:13:27,757 --> 00:13:29,618
Oh, see, there's an
incredible energy right there,
311
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,753
because he doesn't want to
be in your apartment, either.
312
00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:33,561
And you talked him into it?
313
00:13:33,597 --> 00:13:35,258
Well, it wasn't very hard.
I told him you'd fix him
314
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:37,209
a nice dinner, then we'd all
get together, we'd talk for...
315
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,927
Wait a minute!
I'll fix him dinner?!
316
00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:41,502
Wow, déjà vu.
317
00:13:41,537 --> 00:13:43,237
Uh-uh, you got that one wrong.
318
00:13:43,272 --> 00:13:46,007
You invited him over,
so you fix him dinner.
319
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,174
Oh, I get it.
320
00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:49,338
I'll make my bed, so
I've got to hang from it.
321
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:52,513
You got it.
322
00:13:52,549 --> 00:13:54,682
But I don't even
know how to cook.
323
00:13:54,717 --> 00:13:56,818
I've never even
met Julia Childs.
324
00:13:56,853 --> 00:14:00,687
Well, Mork, there's an old
saying on Earth: Fake it.
325
00:14:00,723 --> 00:14:02,122
Oh.
326
00:14:02,158 --> 00:14:05,209
Impending culinary doom.
327
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:08,012
So, what are we
having for dinner tonight?
328
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,647
Check. Ha-ha!
329
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,366
Check? We haven't even eaten.
330
00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:18,956
Just a little off
the side... top...
331
00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:22,660
Come in, Mr. Bickley!
332
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:25,708
How did you know it was me?
333
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:27,765
I'd know your pounding anywhere.
334
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,411
I brought you two a gift...
335
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:30,679
A bottle of bourbon.
336
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,670
Oh, how nice. Well, thank you.
337
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:33,985
That's okay.
338
00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:39,927
I always swipe a couple
of these when I fly.
339
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,679
Oh, look, little
munchkin bourbon.
340
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,331
I think I'd like a drink.
341
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:45,599
Oh, sure, what'll you have?
342
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,017
Bourbon.
343
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,936
Uh, this is all we have.
344
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:52,073
Well, you couldn't
pickle a cricket in that.
345
00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,135
Well, I'm sorry, but we have
346
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:54,704
nothing stronger
than wine in the house.
347
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,621
What about that 20-year-old
scotch your father...?
348
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:59,163
Mork! Shh! That's
for a special occasion.
349
00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:00,665
Forget it. I hate Scotch.
350
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,283
It's disgusting and putrid.
351
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,745
Speaking of
disgusting and putrid,
352
00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:05,049
my salad's burning.
353
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,372
His salad is burning?
354
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,808
Mork has a lot
of exotic recipes.
355
00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:13,477
Oh, you kids sit down.
356
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:15,057
We'll start off with
the appetizers.
357
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,161
We'll begin with a
little Maalox au gratin.
358
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,112
A little cheese
for the three of us.
359
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:21,335
A little fromage à trois.
360
00:15:23,373 --> 00:15:24,338
Maalox...
361
00:15:24,374 --> 00:15:25,517
You can sit over there...
362
00:15:25,541 --> 00:15:27,774
Maalox? Oh!
363
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:33,146
All I have here
are three knives!
364
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,448
I have four.
365
00:15:34,484 --> 00:15:36,111
I'm sorry, I forgot
the soup forks.
366
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:39,236
Soup forks?
367
00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:44,470
Bonjour, Madame et Monsieur.
368
00:15:44,494 --> 00:15:45,626
Welcome to Chez Mork.
369
00:15:45,662 --> 00:15:47,573
Tonight's specialty
was going to be
370
00:15:47,597 --> 00:15:49,074
the chicken in butter sauce,
371
00:15:49,098 --> 00:15:50,943
but that slippery
sucker got away.
372
00:15:50,967 --> 00:15:54,168
Monsieur, would you
like to see the wine list?
373
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,203
Yes.
374
00:15:55,237 --> 00:15:57,504
Là-bas.
375
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,574
For you, smell the cap.
376
00:15:59,609 --> 00:16:01,008
Ah, a very good week.
377
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:03,556
Monsieur, with this
wine and a doorway,
378
00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:05,707
you'll have a fantastic weekend.
379
00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:07,610
Now, Monsieur, for you,
the specialty of the day.
380
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:08,644
There we are, là-bas.
381
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,136
For you, here we are. Okay...
382
00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:13,782
What's this supposed to be?
383
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,841
Le peas frozen.
384
00:16:18,461 --> 00:16:21,862
You said you're always
asking for "peas and quiet."
385
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,515
But seriously, nice
to have you here.
386
00:16:29,539 --> 00:16:30,549
I'll be right back.
387
00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:32,268
I'll tell the chef you're here.
388
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,102
Yo, Al, we got people here!
389
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:35,693
Start cooking, sucker!
390
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:45,203
These are delicious!
391
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:46,687
What? They're not even cooked!
392
00:16:46,722 --> 00:16:48,083
Well, at least this way
393
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:50,291
they don't lose any
of their vitamins.
394
00:16:50,326 --> 00:16:54,395
I think maybe I will
have some of that scotch.
395
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,913
Oh, okay.
396
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,396
That's a very good
idea, Monsieur.
397
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:01,997
You won't spoil your
appetite that way.
398
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,765
Now, for the secondary
course for you...
399
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,725
Le poomph!
400
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,044
What is...
401
00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:11,929
what's this... mess?
402
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:15,466
Oh, en français, le
soupe, en anglais, soup.
403
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:16,778
Actually, it's a gestalt gumbo.
404
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,314
You see the little
tiny live shrimp?
405
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:19,882
I couldn't bring
myself to kill them
406
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:22,426
once I looked in their eyes.
407
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,526
I'm sorry, Monsieur.
408
00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:27,072
Things aren't going too well.
409
00:17:27,096 --> 00:17:29,392
I'll get the busboy to
clean up the excess.
410
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,276
But first, a little
entertainment for you.
411
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,411
Carl... Carl, quickly, come!
412
00:17:33,435 --> 00:17:34,802
♪ Feelings ♪
413
00:17:34,837 --> 00:17:37,197
♪ Nothing more than... ♪
414
00:17:38,741 --> 00:17:39,818
I'm sorry, Monsieur.
415
00:17:39,842 --> 00:17:41,419
He's not worked since
The Wizard of Oz.
416
00:17:41,443 --> 00:17:43,963
We had to give him a chance.
417
00:17:47,717 --> 00:17:50,384
Mm-mm! It's like a soup
and sandwich, all in one.
418
00:17:50,419 --> 00:17:51,619
Oh, I get it.
419
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:55,139
You two are doing
this so I'll leave.
420
00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:56,507
Oh, no, no.
421
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:59,293
Mork is honestly trying
to cook you a good dinner.
422
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,328
But...
423
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,882
And now, Monsieur,
424
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,985
for the spécialité
de l'apartement...
425
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,287
le soufflé!
426
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:12,056
Whoa, cool it!
427
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,661
It's ready now.
428
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,930
I need more scotch.
429
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,365
Mork, are you sure
you followed the recipe?
430
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,178
Well, it called
for beating eggs,
431
00:18:23,202 --> 00:18:25,402
and I couldn't bring
myself to do that.
432
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,471
That settles it.
433
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,939
I can't take any more of this.
434
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,752
But you haven't taken any of it.
435
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,492
Let's just say I'm
not hungry right now.
436
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,845
Oh, that's all right, we'll
put it in a doggy bag.
437
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,240
But for you, a grouch pouch.
438
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:43,354
Mr. Bickley, this is the first
time Mork has ever cooked.
439
00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:45,222
Really? I never
would have guessed.
440
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:46,990
Look, Mork's
dinner wasn't great,
441
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:48,258
but at least he tried.
442
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,860
He shouldn't have.
443
00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:51,978
You know, you should
be more tolerant of people.
444
00:18:52,014 --> 00:18:54,332
Now, we've had to put up
with a lot from you lately.
445
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,283
Like what?
446
00:18:55,318 --> 00:18:56,684
Like what?!
447
00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:58,786
Like your constant
pounding and your rudeness.
448
00:18:58,821 --> 00:19:00,621
You have been making
my life miserable.
449
00:19:00,656 --> 00:19:02,790
I just complain a
little. It's not that bad.
450
00:19:02,825 --> 00:19:04,358
It's terrible! Do you
know that you're
451
00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:05,760
the worst neighbor
I've ever had?
452
00:19:05,795 --> 00:19:06,855
Isn't it wonderful?
453
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,240
You're the top of your field.
454
00:19:08,264 --> 00:19:09,897
Really? I'm that bad?
455
00:19:09,933 --> 00:19:12,945
Well, let's just say if the
Marquis de Sade were still alive,
456
00:19:12,969 --> 00:19:14,413
you'd come in a close second.
457
00:19:14,437 --> 00:19:16,804
But, here's your
consolation prize...
458
00:19:16,839 --> 00:19:18,806
Your snack sack.
459
00:19:18,841 --> 00:19:23,010
If I'm so unlikable, why
are you always nice to me?
460
00:19:23,046 --> 00:19:24,556
Well, I believe the
meaner a person is,
461
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,675
the nicer you should be.
That's why I'm treating you
462
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:28,148
like an emperor.
463
00:19:28,183 --> 00:19:30,251
It's easy for you to be nice.
464
00:19:30,286 --> 00:19:31,852
You've got each other.
465
00:19:31,887 --> 00:19:36,056
I hear you laughing up here,
and I'm down there all alone.
466
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:39,143
Well, if you treated people
with a little kindness and respect,
467
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,890
I'm sure you'd
have lots of friends.
468
00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:44,265
Be reasonable, Mindy.
Not lots; a few, maybe.
469
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,352
I don't mind not having friends.
470
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:51,922
I just wish I had
someone to come home to.
471
00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:54,758
You know, someone who needed me.
472
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,960
Someone who cared for me.
473
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,563
Someone...
474
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:01,181
Aw, I better say good night.
475
00:20:01,216 --> 00:20:06,052
I'm beginning to sound like
one of my own greeting cards.
476
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,053
There goes one sad earthling.
477
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:12,510
Boy, that's for sure.
478
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,111
What can we do to help?
479
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:16,380
I don't think there's
anything we can do.
480
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,883
People just don't want
to be around that man.
481
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,201
We can hire someone.
482
00:20:20,236 --> 00:20:23,704
No. It doesn't
work like that, Mork.
483
00:20:23,739 --> 00:20:26,006
There's an... there's
an old Earth saying that,
484
00:20:26,041 --> 00:20:28,408
"There's one thing
money can't buy, it's love."
485
00:20:28,443 --> 00:20:31,245
By the way, thanks
for the dinner.
486
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,846
It stunk.
487
00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:56,937
Oh... interruptions,
interruptions.
488
00:20:56,972 --> 00:20:58,506
Who is it?
489
00:20:58,541 --> 00:21:00,085
Mindy McConnell from upstairs.
490
00:21:00,109 --> 00:21:01,409
Oh, what do you want?
491
00:21:01,444 --> 00:21:03,727
Hi. Can I come in?
492
00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:04,728
That depends.
493
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,062
You intend talking to me?
494
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,048
Well, yeah...
495
00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:08,132
In that case, no.
496
00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:13,170
Mr. Bickley, are you...
497
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:15,016
are you embarrassed
about last night?
498
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,874
Why should I be embarrassed?
499
00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:19,093
You're the one who
tried to poison me.
500
00:21:19,128 --> 00:21:21,028
You know what I'm talking about.
501
00:21:21,063 --> 00:21:23,681
The things that you
said about being lonely.
502
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:25,115
You believe that junk?
503
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:27,418
I always talk that way
after a couple of scotches.
504
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:28,847
As a matter of fact,
505
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:31,922
I did believe it, and that's
why I baked you this cake.
506
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,290
I want us to be friends.
507
00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:34,792
There's icing on it.
508
00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:35,776
Right.
509
00:21:35,811 --> 00:21:37,144
I hate cake with icing.
510
00:21:37,179 --> 00:21:40,081
Do you know why I
hate winter in Colorado?
511
00:21:40,116 --> 00:21:43,283
The Rockies look like
they're covered with icing.
512
00:21:43,319 --> 00:21:46,298
Mr. Bickley, how can you
possibly stand here and...?
513
00:21:47,656 --> 00:21:50,091
Aw, probably some
kids trying to sell me
514
00:21:50,126 --> 00:21:52,059
cookies with icing on them.
515
00:21:52,095 --> 00:21:53,861
Hiya, Bickey.
516
00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:55,162
That's Bickley!
517
00:21:55,198 --> 00:21:56,808
Oh, that's my friendly
nickname for you.
518
00:21:56,832 --> 00:21:58,799
Oh, why me?
519
00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:00,946
Mork, where have
you been all morning?
520
00:22:00,970 --> 00:22:02,803
Out to disprove an
old Earth saying. Look.
521
00:22:04,273 --> 00:22:05,872
I sprung him
from an animal jail.
522
00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,942
He was in for
assaulting a fire hydrant.
523
00:22:09,845 --> 00:22:10,977
Oh, great.
524
00:22:11,013 --> 00:22:12,746
Now I'll have to listen
525
00:22:12,782 --> 00:22:15,515
to howling and
barking all the time.
526
00:22:15,550 --> 00:22:18,486
Oh, no, you won't, because he
sings and dances. Watch this.
527
00:22:18,521 --> 00:22:21,354
♪ Camptown races, sing
this song, doo-dah, doo-dah! ♪
528
00:22:21,390 --> 00:22:23,635
And he al... and he
also sings the blues.
529
00:22:23,659 --> 00:22:26,093
♪ Georgia, Georgia... ♪
530
00:22:27,563 --> 00:22:29,262
He's for you...
531
00:22:29,298 --> 00:22:31,109
because I don't want
you to be lonely anymore.
532
00:22:31,133 --> 00:22:33,100
You mean... why, that's...
533
00:22:33,135 --> 00:22:37,071
that's the nicest thing
anybody ever did for me.
534
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:42,343
Buying me a stupid dog.
535
00:22:42,378 --> 00:22:44,277
Oh, Mork!
536
00:22:44,313 --> 00:22:46,425
That was a wonderful
thing you did.
537
00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:49,761
What did you mean about
disproving an old Earth saying?
538
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:53,787
Well, that money can buy
love. Even if it's only puppy love.
539
00:22:53,823 --> 00:22:57,458
I'll call him... Bickey.
540
00:22:57,493 --> 00:22:59,593
Sing, damn you.
541
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:01,328
Sing... You can do it.
542
00:23:01,363 --> 00:23:04,064
♪ Camptown races,
sing this song... ♪
543
00:23:04,099 --> 00:23:05,916
Pick up the beat. Sing!
544
00:23:17,013 --> 00:23:18,729
Mork calling Orson.
545
00:23:18,764 --> 00:23:20,130
Come in, Orson.
546
00:23:20,165 --> 00:23:21,431
Mork calling Orson.
547
00:23:21,467 --> 00:23:22,900
Come in, Orson.
548
00:23:22,935 --> 00:23:24,702
Hey, Laser Breath.
549
00:23:26,338 --> 00:23:28,305
Mork calling Orson.
550
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:30,657
Come in, Orson.
551
00:23:30,692 --> 00:23:32,909
What are you doing, Mork?
552
00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:37,481
Acting superhero-ish.
553
00:23:37,516 --> 00:23:40,484
Funny, you don't
look superhero-ish.
554
00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:42,519
Let's hear your report.
555
00:23:42,555 --> 00:23:45,372
Did you meet any interesting
earthlings this week?
556
00:23:45,408 --> 00:23:46,517
Well, this week,
I met an earthling
557
00:23:46,541 --> 00:23:48,041
who makes greeting cards.
558
00:23:48,077 --> 00:23:50,105
Those are what humans
send to people who are sick.
559
00:23:50,129 --> 00:23:52,174
Why don't they
just send a doctor,
560
00:23:52,198 --> 00:23:53,080
like we do on Ork?
561
00:23:53,115 --> 00:23:54,081
Oh, no, sir.
562
00:23:54,116 --> 00:23:56,044
You see, doctors
are worshipped here.
563
00:23:56,068 --> 00:23:57,051
They don't come to see you.
564
00:23:57,086 --> 00:23:58,552
You go to see them.
565
00:23:58,587 --> 00:24:01,121
And they also live in luxury
hotels called hospitals.
566
00:24:01,157 --> 00:24:02,868
These hospitals
are so overcrowded,
567
00:24:02,892 --> 00:24:05,137
the humans have devised a
strange and unusual custom
568
00:24:05,161 --> 00:24:06,360
of gaining admittance.
569
00:24:06,395 --> 00:24:07,439
Like what?
570
00:24:07,463 --> 00:24:08,745
One's called "skiing."
571
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:11,265
They climb to the top of a
huge mountain of sky flakes.
572
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:12,599
When they get there,
573
00:24:12,634 --> 00:24:14,512
they strap two pieces
of wood to their feet,
574
00:24:14,536 --> 00:24:15,647
and then they slide down.
575
00:24:15,671 --> 00:24:17,115
And if they're
lucky, they hit a tree,
576
00:24:17,139 --> 00:24:18,683
and they gain
admittance to a hospital.
577
00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:20,986
That sounds like a lot of work.
578
00:24:21,010 --> 00:24:21,992
Oh, that's nothing.
579
00:24:22,027 --> 00:24:22,993
You should see how they gain
580
00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:24,461
admittance to a mortuary.
581
00:24:24,497 --> 00:24:25,929
Well, see you next week.
582
00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:27,864
Ten-four, huge buddy.
583
00:24:27,900 --> 00:24:29,366
Nanu-nanu.
41389
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