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1
00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:09,591
Nanu-nanu.
2
00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:20,850
Shazbot!
3
00:01:28,973 --> 00:01:31,022
Return to mother ship.
4
00:01:34,911 --> 00:01:38,380
Sanctuary. Thank you.
5
00:01:38,415 --> 00:01:40,198
Ah, shells.
6
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:43,719
All I hear is sugar.
7
00:01:45,922 --> 00:01:49,224
I won't hurt you if you tell me
where the others are hiding.
8
00:01:52,596 --> 00:01:55,697
Whoa...
9
00:01:56,734 --> 00:01:58,233
Good morning. Morning.
10
00:01:58,268 --> 00:01:59,901
How's your Danish?
11
00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:02,337
Yeah, sure, it's
coming along fine now...
12
00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:05,507
but right now, it sounds
a lot like Swedish.
13
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:06,842
I mean the rolls.
14
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,176
Oh.
15
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,122
Whoa, it's late. I
got to get to work.
16
00:02:10,146 --> 00:02:11,680
Why are you wearing
that rubber coat?
17
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:12,981
Oh, this is a raincoat.
18
00:02:13,016 --> 00:02:14,349
It keeps my clothes dry.
19
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,584
Why not leave your clothes
here and go out naked?
20
00:02:17,454 --> 00:02:19,203
I don't think so.
21
00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:22,374
I never know when I might have
to demonstrate the accordion.
22
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:23,525
Oh, humor.
23
00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:26,845
You don't have to worry, though.
24
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,246
It's not going to rain today.
25
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,992
Well, sure it is. I just
heard it on the radio.
26
00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:31,494
Mindy, we Orkans
are very sensitive
27
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:33,730
to the positive and
negative ion ratio in the air...
28
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,666
and the ion ratio
today tells me...
29
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:38,723
sunny and clear.
30
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:40,041
Are you sure?
31
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,109
The ion ratio...
32
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,212
would not lie to you.
33
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,380
Well, it never has before.
34
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:47,549
Okay, you win.
35
00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,551
You mind if I go to the
store with you today?
36
00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:51,353
I'm observing the
leader of the dogs.
37
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,021
What leader of the dogs?
38
00:02:53,056 --> 00:02:55,218
The red leader in front
of the store: the short one
39
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:57,220
with the four bumps that
hangs around the curb.
40
00:02:57,244 --> 00:03:00,579
Oh... that's a fire hydrant.
41
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,730
That's not the
leader of the dogs.
42
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,532
Then why do they all salute him?
43
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,033
I'll explain it on the way.
44
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,590
Oh.
45
00:03:23,554 --> 00:03:26,449
Grandma, why are they
tearing up the concrete outside?
46
00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:30,208
Grandma.
47
00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:32,243
I'll save her.
48
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,066
They'll never harm you again.
49
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:42,270
Well, thank you for,
uh, saving my life.
50
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:44,550
I think I'll need
the earmuffs again
51
00:03:44,574 --> 00:03:48,610
to tune out that
jackhammer concerto outside.
52
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:52,881
Yes, we noticed the
workmen installing a hole.
53
00:03:52,916 --> 00:03:54,383
How can you miss it?
54
00:03:54,418 --> 00:03:57,386
You have to be a broad
jumper to get into the store.
55
00:03:57,421 --> 00:04:00,289
It's a good thing I'm wearing
my orthopedic sneakers.
56
00:04:02,025 --> 00:04:03,659
You know, it's freezing in here.
57
00:04:03,694 --> 00:04:07,054
Yeah, it's colder than a
witch-digger's brass monkey.
58
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,831
Is our rotten landlord trying
to break the lease again?
59
00:04:09,866 --> 00:04:12,678
Why? He hasn't even finished
breaking the sidewalk yet.
60
00:04:12,702 --> 00:04:14,669
Hey, Mork, what's happening?
61
00:04:14,704 --> 00:04:15,670
Give me some skin.
62
00:04:15,705 --> 00:04:17,345
Eh... Nanu-nanu.
63
00:04:17,374 --> 00:04:18,540
Neva.
64
00:04:18,575 --> 00:04:21,843
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah...
65
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:26,648
What it is, what it was...
66
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:27,649
And what it shall be.
67
00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:29,384
Right on.
68
00:04:31,237 --> 00:04:32,799
Hey, where'd the great
pile of dirt come from?
69
00:04:32,823 --> 00:04:35,040
I think it came with the hole.
70
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:38,609
Okay, Eugene, it's time
for your violin lesson.
71
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:40,523
But it's too cold
to practice in here.
72
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,867
Honey, the way you play,
you can leave your mittens on
73
00:04:42,899 --> 00:04:45,049
and nobody will
know the difference.
74
00:04:46,636 --> 00:04:48,898
What if my fingers freeze,
and I can't play anymore?
75
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:52,206
Your parents will send
me a thank you note.
76
00:04:52,242 --> 00:04:53,708
Now quit stalling, Eugene.
77
00:04:53,744 --> 00:04:55,660
Get in there, you jive turkey.
78
00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:57,061
Keep cool, mama...
79
00:04:57,097 --> 00:05:00,532
Keep cool, mama.
80
00:05:03,187 --> 00:05:04,852
Uh, hello there.
81
00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:08,690
Well, Dad, the
landlord is at it again.
82
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:09,924
Yeah, I know. I just came
83
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,571
through the obstacle
course out front.
84
00:05:11,595 --> 00:05:13,005
There's a ten-foot
hole out there.
85
00:05:13,029 --> 00:05:14,674
I know. Somebody's
going to get killed.
86
00:05:14,698 --> 00:05:17,015
Arnold Wanker doesn't
seem to understand
87
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,150
we have another two
years left on our lease.
88
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,364
And you don't seem to understand
89
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:22,999
that if Arnold Wanker
can kick us out,
90
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,767
he can lease this space
to the restaurant next door
91
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,207
and double the rent.
92
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,727
Shazbot! Electric Danish.
93
00:05:31,148 --> 00:05:32,814
Why are you wearing
your raincoat today?
94
00:05:32,850 --> 00:05:34,894
Oh, it's going to rain.
I heard it on the radio.
95
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,184
It's not going to rain.
96
00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:38,053
Can't you feel the ion ratio?
97
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,372
Now we're cooking. Get down.
98
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:43,358
Get back up again.
99
00:05:43,393 --> 00:05:45,387
Can't I hear the ion ratio?
100
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:46,623
Ah... you've been talking
101
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:48,697
to Trash Gordon again.
102
00:05:48,732 --> 00:05:50,198
His name is Mork,
103
00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:51,877
and he happens to
be able to understand
104
00:05:51,901 --> 00:05:53,879
a lot of things we can't
even comprehend yet.
105
00:05:53,903 --> 00:05:55,203
Yeah, apparently.
106
00:05:55,239 --> 00:05:57,806
He's dancing to a
sound effects record.
107
00:06:04,014 --> 00:06:05,947
Wow, bummer.
108
00:06:09,852 --> 00:06:11,819
Um... excuse me.
109
00:06:11,854 --> 00:06:13,854
Excuse me.
110
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,926
Why is it so cold in here?
111
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,012
Arnold Wanker is
trying to freeze us out.
112
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,681
Now, this has got to be the
dirtiest trick he's ever played.
113
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:26,518
Uh, no, no, no. The worst thing
he ever did was in sixth grade.
114
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,197
He came out to
the baseball field
115
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,821
and he gave us all the free
lemonade we could drink.
116
00:06:33,209 --> 00:06:34,676
That's not funny.
117
00:06:34,711 --> 00:06:36,645
Oh.
118
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,848
Then we found out he'd put a
padlock on the only bathroom.
119
00:06:39,883 --> 00:06:43,785
It cost me two weeks'
allowance to buy the key from him.
120
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,704
Now that's funny.
121
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,206
Ah, oh, ah.
122
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:49,486
Confusion. Heavy sigh.
123
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:50,790
I better be going.
124
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,547
Charming family you have.
125
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,715
Take care of them.
126
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,985
Well strung.
127
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,706
See you at lunch, Mindy.
128
00:07:04,741 --> 00:07:06,152
Bye. Are you
going to be all right?
129
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,121
Yes. My project for
today is to go to the park
130
00:07:08,145 --> 00:07:10,478
and observe how pigeons
train old people to feed them.
131
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:11,863
Hello.
132
00:07:13,217 --> 00:07:16,818
Eugene is on automatic pilot.
133
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:20,989
It was either leave the room
or put on my earmuffs again.
134
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:23,674
Dad was just telling
me what a rotten kid
135
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:24,842
Arnold Wanker used to be.
136
00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:26,695
Oh, yes, dreadful.
137
00:07:26,730 --> 00:07:28,508
I baby-sat him when he was five,
138
00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:33,167
and he blackmailed me for
all my baby-sitting money.
139
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,803
Did he catch you necking with
your boyfriend on the couch?
140
00:07:35,838 --> 00:07:39,524
No. That would've only
cost me half the money.
141
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,843
Half the money?
142
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,845
Grandma, what were you doing?
143
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,859
Uh, she was probably
supplying illegal drugs
144
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,932
to Civil War soldiers.
145
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,769
Oh, why don't you go
sit on your Schubert.
146
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,690
Mindy, dear, I think we ought
147
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:59,122
to lay in a couple dozen
of this disco album.
148
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:02,097
It's number 18 with a bullet.
149
00:08:02,132 --> 00:08:04,699
Grandma, how come you
know so much about disco?
150
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:08,837
I know everything. I'm old.
151
00:08:19,516 --> 00:08:21,632
There. That should kill it.
152
00:08:30,026 --> 00:08:32,627
Don't look at me like that.
153
00:08:32,662 --> 00:08:36,164
I'll still respect you.
154
00:08:36,199 --> 00:08:38,845
Please, I-I want
to be your friend.
155
00:08:38,869 --> 00:08:41,502
I won't hurt you if
you just don't scream.
156
00:08:41,537 --> 00:08:42,837
Do you have any last words?
157
00:08:42,873 --> 00:08:45,190
Okay.
158
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:51,563
Lunch is hell.
159
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:56,033
Don't you understand
by your doing this,
160
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:59,103
a can of soup will live?
161
00:09:00,423 --> 00:09:02,640
Necrotrons! Warning!
Mayday! Mayday!
162
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,820
Red alert! Dive! In the
bunker! In the bunker!
163
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:06,755
Head 'em up. We're
going to Missouri.
164
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:07,812
Whoo!
165
00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:11,483
Bullets! Total World War!
166
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:14,902
Warning.
167
00:09:16,940 --> 00:09:19,174
Jive teapot.
168
00:09:21,178 --> 00:09:23,811
You'll never sing again.
169
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,838
I'd like to speak to you
about your "ion ratio."
170
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,334
You fell for it.
171
00:09:35,358 --> 00:09:38,760
You mean you knew it
was going to rain outside?
172
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,328
Sure. I heard it on the radio.
173
00:09:40,363 --> 00:09:42,341
Then why did you tell me
174
00:09:42,365 --> 00:09:44,176
to go out without my
raincoat and umbrella?
175
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,834
I was splinking.
176
00:09:45,869 --> 00:09:47,669
Why am I afraid to ask?
177
00:09:47,704 --> 00:09:50,171
You see, on Ork,
splinking is telling someone
178
00:09:50,206 --> 00:09:52,173
something that isn't
true... A practical joke.
179
00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:56,155
Well, Mork, you
might call it splinking,
180
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,356
but we humans call it lying,
181
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:58,858
and it isn't
acceptable behavior.
182
00:09:58,882 --> 00:10:01,393
Now, you have got to
start acting more human.
183
00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:04,018
But I was. I saw a
Laurel and Hardy movie
184
00:10:04,053 --> 00:10:06,031
where Laurel splinked
Hardy, then Hardy went,
185
00:10:06,055 --> 00:10:08,490
"There's another
fine mess. Hmm."
186
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,554
Then he threw a bucket
of water on Hardy.
187
00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:15,546
Laurel and Hardy aren't human.
188
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,448
I mean, they were human, but...
189
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,351
Just promise me that you won't
190
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,153
do any more splinking or lying.
191
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,721
I promise.
192
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,567
I didn't think you'd
mind getting wet.
193
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:27,225
Look at me. I'm dripping!
194
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,894
My clothes are soggy,
and my skin is all wet.
195
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:32,063
I hate getting wet.
196
00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:34,098
I'm going to go take a shower.
197
00:10:35,919 --> 00:10:38,269
But wait, I made
a sandwich for you.
198
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,274
It's untouched by human hands.
199
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,092
Now, if you want to
get Fleetwood Mac,
200
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:51,460
I think this album's
your best bet,
201
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,395
'cause it's got just about
everything you want to hear...
202
00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:55,197
All right, all right,
where's your father?
203
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,420
In one minute, Mr. Wanker.
204
00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:58,555
I happen to be
helping a customer.
205
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:01,760
$5.98? If you really want
to help your customer,
206
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,529
tell him he can get the
same album for only $4.50
207
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,075
at the music store
right down the street.
208
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,410
No, wait a minute.
That's a mistake.
209
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:10,869
There is no music
store down the street.
210
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,587
Mr. Wanker, you
are an absolute...
211
00:11:12,622 --> 00:11:15,023
Absolutely wonderful
212
00:11:15,058 --> 00:11:16,302
to see you here, Arnold.
213
00:11:16,326 --> 00:11:17,425
Isn't it, dear?
214
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:19,205
Well, it isn't
wonderful to see you.
215
00:11:19,229 --> 00:11:22,463
I've tried everything short
of tear gas to get rid of you.
216
00:11:22,498 --> 00:11:25,200
In a minute!
217
00:11:25,235 --> 00:11:26,701
That's my wife.
218
00:11:26,736 --> 00:11:29,882
I asked her to drive me to
a foreclosure this afternoon.
219
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:33,942
Oh, well, I guess you
need some sort of social life.
220
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:39,213
And speaking of foreclose,
your rent payment is due Friday.
221
00:11:39,248 --> 00:11:40,815
Today is Wednesday.
222
00:11:40,850 --> 00:11:42,061
Oh, I'll have the money.
223
00:11:42,085 --> 00:11:44,018
In spite of the fact that
you've nearly ruined
224
00:11:44,054 --> 00:11:45,686
our business by
tearing up our sidewalk
225
00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:46,787
and turning off the heat.
226
00:11:46,823 --> 00:11:48,072
It's like an icebox in here.
227
00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:51,276
I thought you
wanted a rent freeze.
228
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,413
Oh, I love my work.
229
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:59,583
Oh, shut up! I'm coming!
230
00:11:59,618 --> 00:12:01,630
I've got to use the
phone. Where is it?
231
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:04,238
Oh, I know where
I'd like it to be.
232
00:12:04,273 --> 00:12:06,123
Yeah, around his neck.
233
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,194
Oh, um, it's over there.
234
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,107
He's already
turned off the heat.
235
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,097
You want him to turn off
236
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,098
the lights next? I don't care.
237
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,200
This guy's been getting
away with this for years.
238
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,378
Somebody's got to tell him.
239
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,152
But do we have to do it now?
240
00:12:18,188 --> 00:12:22,190
Chambers! I am sick and
tired of calling you about this!
241
00:12:22,225 --> 00:12:25,693
I want him evicted tomorrow!
242
00:12:25,728 --> 00:12:27,828
Well, so what if
he's 90 years old.
243
00:12:29,199 --> 00:12:30,877
Tell him to start
for the door today.
244
00:12:32,402 --> 00:12:35,703
Hold on, you old bat!
245
00:12:35,738 --> 00:12:38,372
Oh, that's the trouble
with people today!
246
00:12:38,408 --> 00:12:40,475
They're just too impatient!
247
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:41,971
Now, that is
enough. Now, wait...
248
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,906
I don't care... somebody's
got to tell him off.
249
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,997
Mr. Wanker, you have
been evicting people
250
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:48,477
and screaming at
people and being nasty.
251
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,834
Do you hear me,
Mr. Wanker? Whoa!
252
00:12:58,428 --> 00:13:00,244
I think he's dead.
253
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:10,688
Oh, Arnold!
254
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:12,857
Oh, Arnold.
255
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,842
Oh, try to take it
easy, Mrs. Wanker.
256
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:18,295
Oh, I knew it was coming.
257
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,565
The doctor told him
to take it easy, but no.
258
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,016
He wouldn't listen.
259
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,212
Arnold...
260
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,329
Oh, now...
261
00:13:24,353 --> 00:13:26,570
Calm down, Annie.
262
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:28,572
When he left the car...
263
00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:31,108
When he left the
car, little did I know
264
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,777
that his last words
to me would be...
265
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,579
"Wait here."
266
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,053
Oh, Cora.
267
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:43,487
I feel terrible about this!
268
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:44,901
Yeah, I know,
but there's nothing
269
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,402
we can do about it now.
270
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,742
I know, but those awful
things we were saying to him.
271
00:13:48,778 --> 00:13:50,745
He brought this on himself.
272
00:13:50,780 --> 00:13:52,446
Then why do I feel so guilty?
273
00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:53,759
For the same reason I do...
274
00:13:53,783 --> 00:13:55,961
Because he died
right here in our store.
275
00:13:55,985 --> 00:13:59,420
We did everything we
could, but I'm afraid he's gone.
276
00:13:59,456 --> 00:14:00,533
Oh, well, thank you.
277
00:14:00,557 --> 00:14:01,522
I guess you can go now.
278
00:14:01,558 --> 00:14:02,668
I'll call the mortuary.
279
00:14:02,692 --> 00:14:03,869
Right.
280
00:14:03,893 --> 00:14:05,404
We'll leave the deceased
back there, then.
281
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,622
Uh... Right. Come on, Eddie.
282
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,778
Oh...
283
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:11,148
Nice suits... I'd like to
see the rest of the band.
284
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,795
Oh, it's gonna be
a bummer, though,
285
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:15,203
trying to find shoes
to match that bag.
286
00:14:15,238 --> 00:14:17,488
Watch out for the hole!
287
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,671
My experiment with
the pigeons worked.
288
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:24,095
They agreed to
everything I said.
289
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,576
Cheer up. You look
like somebody died.
290
00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:33,037
Who's the grouch?
291
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:36,874
Mork, will you just be quiet
and act like a human being?
292
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,130
How's that?
293
00:14:42,165 --> 00:14:44,332
Shh!
294
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:46,584
She just lost her husband.
295
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:48,030
It'll be all right.
He'll turn up.
296
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:51,371
He just died.
297
00:14:51,407 --> 00:14:52,551
Oh, yeah.
298
00:14:52,575 --> 00:14:53,941
He died?
299
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,120
Oh, no. The embarrassment.
300
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,845
Genuine look of grief.
301
00:15:01,383 --> 00:15:03,284
He was such a wonderful man.
302
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,535
Don't you think so?
303
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,821
Oh, well, I didn't
know him all that well.
304
00:15:07,857 --> 00:15:09,023
We really never...
305
00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:11,142
Oh, I-I knew him very well.
306
00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:12,877
I didn't know him at all.
307
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,424
Uh, when we were
in Little League,
308
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,458
he used to come around
309
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,127
with free lemonade
for all the kids.
310
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:19,266
Oh.
311
00:15:19,301 --> 00:15:21,163
He puts locks on
all the bathrooms.
312
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,767
Grandma was telling
me what a bright,
313
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,757
observant little boy he was.
314
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:30,227
She said that she just
wanted to give him everything.
315
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,597
Half of everything.
316
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:35,633
Oh, thank you.
317
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,718
You've made me
feel so much better.
318
00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:41,305
Why is it the young
always die good?
319
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,493
Arnold Wanker
was one in a million.
320
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,377
He was a beautiful man.
321
00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:49,129
He was a real wurble.
322
00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:50,565
He was an inspiration.
323
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,466
He was an angel.
324
00:15:52,502 --> 00:15:53,851
He is now.
325
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:57,956
Oh, yes, he's an angel...
326
00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,357
Oh, no, no.
327
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,203
What Grandma meant
was a man that good
328
00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:03,039
and that loved and that admired
329
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,997
must certainly have found
a heavenly place for himself.
330
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:07,176
Oh.
331
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,500
Thank you, Mindy.
332
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,485
You really cared
about him, didn't you?
333
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,238
Oh, well, I think
I'm safe in saying
334
00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:15,739
that Dad, Grandma and I
335
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:18,609
all felt the same way about him.
336
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:19,771
He was beautiful.
337
00:16:19,795 --> 00:16:20,928
Who would believe it?
338
00:16:20,963 --> 00:16:22,174
Who would believe it?
339
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:24,109
A few minutes ago, he
was here, yelling at us,
340
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:26,166
and now, he's back there,
341
00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:28,703
quiet as a mouse.
342
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,170
He's back there?
343
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,739
He's only been there
for a few minutes?
344
00:16:31,774 --> 00:16:32,984
Yeah, that's right.
345
00:16:33,008 --> 00:16:34,225
Oh.
346
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:35,392
Annie...
347
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:41,732
Annie... Annie, dear,
348
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:44,368
why don't I drive you home?
349
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:45,547
Now, come along, dear.
350
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:46,704
Okay.
351
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:50,407
Now, everything is
going to be all right.
352
00:16:52,895 --> 00:16:54,590
I'll stay with her
for a few hours.
353
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,158
It's the least I can do.
354
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,281
Yeah. Poor woman.
355
00:16:57,316 --> 00:16:58,282
Yeah.
356
00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:00,718
Her only mistake was
in marrying an idiot.
357
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:03,454
Yes. Anybody can
make that mistake.
358
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,622
My own daughter did.
359
00:17:14,183 --> 00:17:15,349
Dad, do you think
360
00:17:15,384 --> 00:17:17,484
that we might have
overdone it a little bit?
361
00:17:17,519 --> 00:17:18,630
Oh, I don't know. We were just
362
00:17:18,654 --> 00:17:20,065
telling her what
she wanted to hear.
363
00:17:21,090 --> 00:17:22,323
I wonder where Mork went.
364
00:17:22,358 --> 00:17:23,924
He probably saw a flying saucer
365
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:26,811
and thought it was
a class reunion.
366
00:17:30,499 --> 00:17:32,300
You lucky Earthlings!
367
00:17:32,335 --> 00:17:33,667
Do you think you could tone down
368
00:17:33,702 --> 00:17:34,918
the exuberance a little bit?
369
00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:36,331
There's no need
to be sad anymore.
370
00:17:36,355 --> 00:17:38,083
Mork, a man is dead.
371
00:17:38,107 --> 00:17:40,141
A lot you know.
372
00:17:40,176 --> 00:17:41,375
What?!
373
00:17:44,713 --> 00:17:47,193
♪ Stayin' alive,
stayin' alive... ♪
374
00:17:48,117 --> 00:17:50,384
♪ Stayin' alive... ♪
375
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,642
But he's supposed to be dead.
376
00:17:58,677 --> 00:17:59,810
Not anymore.
377
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,262
I gave him a jump start.
378
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,731
A jump start?
379
00:18:03,766 --> 00:18:05,132
You can do that?
380
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,561
Well, it's a
billion in one shot.
381
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:07,930
I did it once on Ork with a, uh,
382
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,932
a hairless crawling zabedee.
383
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,133
Who would know it would work
384
00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:12,818
with a lower form of life.
385
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,069
Conditions were perfect, though.
386
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,042
You see,
387
00:18:15,077 --> 00:18:16,388
he's still a little groggy.
388
00:18:18,281 --> 00:18:19,458
I know this will work
389
00:18:19,482 --> 00:18:21,226
'cause I saw it during
the movies... watch.
390
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:22,666
Wake up, sweetheart.
391
00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:25,948
And furthermore, McConnell,
392
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,783
I'm going to get you
to break that lease
393
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,224
if I have to break
your legs to do it!
394
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:38,031
Now, now, now, uh,
let me get this straight.
395
00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:40,067
Conditions have to be perfect?
396
00:18:40,102 --> 00:18:41,385
It's a one in a million shot?
397
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:42,103
One in a billion.
398
00:18:42,138 --> 00:18:42,736
You don't think you
399
00:18:42,771 --> 00:18:43,503
can ever do it again?
400
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:44,505
Eh...
401
00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:45,873
And you wasted it
402
00:18:45,908 --> 00:18:47,658
on that miserable rat!
403
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:48,792
But he's your friend.
404
00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:50,004
Friend, my word.
405
00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:51,172
I can't stand him.
406
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:53,007
But you said all those
nice things about him.
407
00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:54,209
I lied!
408
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:55,466
Oh.
409
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:57,768
You?
410
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,220
Then you lied, too?
411
00:19:00,256 --> 00:19:02,423
Oh, I didn't exactly lie.
412
00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:05,442
I just didn't exactly
tell the truth.
413
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,028
What's the difference?
414
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,396
Well, the difference
is lying is lying,
415
00:19:09,432 --> 00:19:12,332
and not telling the truth is...
416
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:13,584
lying.
417
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:14,819
You're right; I lied.
418
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,231
But you told me lying was bad.
419
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:18,566
You made me promise
never to lie or even splink.
420
00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:20,158
That stupid woman!
421
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,004
I... I don't know
why I married her!
422
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:23,227
Now I told her to wait.
423
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,540
Now, I got to call a cab!
424
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:25,729
Uh, Arnold, uh,
425
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:28,115
there was a very good
reason why she left.
426
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:29,628
Well, I'd like to
know what it is.
427
00:19:29,652 --> 00:19:31,963
Well, you were, um... uh, uh...
428
00:19:31,987 --> 00:19:33,932
Let me see if I
can put it delicately.
429
00:19:33,956 --> 00:19:35,206
Just say it quickly.
430
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,774
Well, you were, uh...
431
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,275
You bit the big one.
432
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,679
Boot Hill, Great
White Hunting Ground.
433
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,481
You bought the farm,
you kicked the bucket.
434
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:47,251
What is this dodo trying to say?
435
00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:48,652
He's trying to say
you were dead.
436
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:49,932
Arnold, you had a heart attack
437
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,466
right here in the store.
438
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:52,789
Heart attack? Ha!
439
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:54,624
How come I don't remember it?
440
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:55,610
Well, think back.
441
00:19:55,645 --> 00:19:56,777
What do you remember?
442
00:19:56,812 --> 00:19:58,045
Well, I was on the phone
443
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,481
evicting some
90-year-old deadbeat.
444
00:20:00,516 --> 00:20:03,484
I remember my, uh,
wife honking the car horn.
445
00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:07,054
I, uh, remember overcharging
my fraternity for the beer,
446
00:20:07,089 --> 00:20:08,601
and then I pulled
the lemonade trick
447
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:09,757
on the Little League,
448
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,660
and then I caught
my baby-sitter doing...
449
00:20:12,695 --> 00:20:13,861
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
450
00:20:13,896 --> 00:20:15,129
Wait a minute.
451
00:20:15,164 --> 00:20:17,297
My whole life flashed
in front of my eyes.
452
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:18,877
Right. That was
just before you...
453
00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:25,739
You're all crazy.
454
00:20:25,774 --> 00:20:27,174
This is some kind of trick
455
00:20:27,209 --> 00:20:28,753
to keep me from
breaking the lease,
456
00:20:28,777 --> 00:20:30,004
isn't it?
457
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:33,296
Well, it just won't work.
458
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:34,498
Excuse me, sir.
459
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:37,401
Can you tell me
where the loved one is?
460
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:38,613
What loved one?
461
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:41,238
We are supposed to pick up
462
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:43,841
one Arnold Winker, deceased.
463
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:45,320
That's Arnold Wanker, deceased.
464
00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:47,644
Only I'm not
deceased, I'm alive.
465
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:48,923
And I'm going to stay that way
466
00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:50,615
for a long, long time.
467
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,583
No pickup.
468
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:53,751
Watch out!
469
00:20:57,190 --> 00:20:58,622
For the hole.
470
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:04,873
You know, actually,
471
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:06,275
Arnold Wanker really lucked out.
472
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:07,576
I mean, in that terrible fall,
473
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,712
all he broke was both
legs and his collarbone.
474
00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:12,853
But the good news is he'll
be in traction for months.
475
00:21:12,888 --> 00:21:16,490
And knowing him, he'll
probably sue himself.
476
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:17,535
I'm sorry about yesterday,
477
00:21:17,559 --> 00:21:19,593
but after you said all
those nice things about him,
478
00:21:19,628 --> 00:21:21,562
I thought you'd be happy
when I brought him back.
479
00:21:21,597 --> 00:21:23,275
Oh, it isn't your fault, Mork.
480
00:21:23,299 --> 00:21:24,476
I guess I confused you
481
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:26,694
with my speech on
lying and splinking.
482
00:21:26,718 --> 00:21:29,654
Yes, it was very confusing
to hear you lie after all that.
483
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,100
Yeah. I should have
explained to you
484
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:33,235
about something
called "little white lies."
485
00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:36,660
All splinks are blue.
486
00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:38,673
A little white lie
is what you tell
487
00:21:38,697 --> 00:21:39,842
when you don't want
488
00:21:39,866 --> 00:21:41,076
to hurt somebody's feelings.
489
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:42,577
But how could you
hurt Wanker's feeling?
490
00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:44,568
He was Croak City.
491
00:21:44,603 --> 00:21:47,188
But I really would have
hurt his wife's feelings
492
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:49,223
if I had told the truth.
493
00:21:49,258 --> 00:21:51,625
So, I just sort
of bent it a little.
494
00:21:51,661 --> 00:21:52,893
A little?
495
00:21:52,928 --> 00:21:54,673
All right, I stretched it a lot.
496
00:21:54,697 --> 00:21:55,896
Ah, so I see on Earth,
497
00:21:55,931 --> 00:21:58,732
the truth gets
a lot of exercise.
498
00:21:58,768 --> 00:21:59,911
Yeah, but as a rule,
499
00:21:59,935 --> 00:22:01,714
you should
always tell the truth.
500
00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:02,837
I should never lie?
501
00:22:02,872 --> 00:22:04,004
Never.
502
00:22:05,207 --> 00:22:06,534
Hi. MINDY: Oh!
503
00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:09,459
Oh, I'm so glad
you kids are home.
504
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:10,995
Now, I've been invited
505
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:14,398
to the Gray Panthers
Prom for next Sunday,
506
00:22:14,433 --> 00:22:18,502
and I want you to
see my new dress.
507
00:22:18,537 --> 00:22:20,204
Whoa! Oh!
508
00:22:20,239 --> 00:22:22,139
Author.
509
00:22:25,895 --> 00:22:28,946
Grandma, it's...
really colorful.
510
00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:32,599
Well, what I really wanted
was a man's opinion.
511
00:22:33,836 --> 00:22:34,979
Mork, splink like
512
00:22:35,003 --> 00:22:38,339
you have never splunk.
513
00:22:38,374 --> 00:22:39,656
Mork?
514
00:22:42,394 --> 00:22:43,627
Que wapa!
515
00:22:46,249 --> 00:22:47,292
Cordoba Corinthian.
516
00:22:47,316 --> 00:22:48,426
Oh...!
517
00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:52,820
Oh, do you really like it?
518
00:22:52,855 --> 00:22:54,888
Huevos rancheros, amigo.
519
00:23:07,236 --> 00:23:08,385
Mork calling Orson.
520
00:23:08,421 --> 00:23:10,120
Come in, Orson.
521
00:23:10,155 --> 00:23:12,122
Mork calling Orson.
522
00:23:12,157 --> 00:23:15,992
Come in, Orson.
523
00:23:16,028 --> 00:23:17,894
Mork calling Orson.
524
00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:19,396
Come in, Orson.
525
00:23:19,432 --> 00:23:21,348
I hear you, Mork.
526
00:23:22,751 --> 00:23:24,179
Good evening,
Mr. and Mrs. Universe
527
00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:25,870
and all ships in space.
528
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:27,121
Let's go to press.
529
00:23:27,156 --> 00:23:28,867
Dit dit-dit-dit de-de de-de-de.
530
00:23:28,891 --> 00:23:30,023
Flash!
531
00:23:30,058 --> 00:23:31,324
File the report, Mork.
532
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,088
Aw, but you take
all the fun out of it.
533
00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:34,261
The report!
534
00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:37,080
Yes, your Immenseness.
535
00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:38,977
Today's report is
about little white lies.
536
00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:40,300
What?
537
00:23:40,335 --> 00:23:42,213
They're the same
as little blue splinks.
538
00:23:42,237 --> 00:23:43,882
See, there are several
kinds of white lies.
539
00:23:43,906 --> 00:23:46,223
Number one, the sports lie.
540
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:47,391
I'm tellin' you, Harry,
541
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,288
you should have seen
the one that got away.
542
00:23:49,312 --> 00:23:51,211
I'm talkin' big... big.
543
00:23:51,246 --> 00:23:53,814
You know, so big, it
almost swamped the dingy.
544
00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:56,416
Then, there are vanity lies.
545
00:23:56,452 --> 00:23:58,585
How old are you,
Mrs. Vandergroff?
546
00:23:58,621 --> 00:24:01,689
I'm only 28 years old.
547
00:24:01,724 --> 00:24:03,390
Then, there are the kind of lies
548
00:24:03,425 --> 00:24:05,843
to keep you from getting
your lips ripped off.
549
00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:07,188
Barbara Jean,
550
00:24:07,212 --> 00:24:09,173
that was the best
meal I've ever had.
551
00:24:09,197 --> 00:24:10,859
Who could believe
it was the first one
552
00:24:10,883 --> 00:24:12,182
you've ever cooked?
553
00:24:12,218 --> 00:24:15,652
I've never seen anybody
do that with figs before.
554
00:24:15,687 --> 00:24:18,556
The secret must
be in the cheese.
555
00:24:18,591 --> 00:24:21,286
That's the way it
is here on Earth.
556
00:24:21,310 --> 00:24:22,659
Until next week...
557
00:24:22,694 --> 00:24:25,429
this is Mork signing off.
558
00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,514
Nanu-nanu.
38639
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