All language subtitles for Greek S03E19 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-CRUD_track3_[eng]

Previously on Greek:

What are you doing?

You haven't been exclusive?

I'm not the kind of girl
who's going to have an
ordinary relationship.

- Love doesn't work!
- Because you're heartless.

- We found out
she slept with Beaver.
- That piece of crap?

- Rebecca didn't think so.
- Evan, what the hell?!

Dana gives me something more.
She inspires me.

Cappie and I
aren't built to last.

We work here, in college,

and I don't think
we'll work anywhere else.

What about graduation
in May?

We'll worry about that in May.

- Noonan!
- You're gonna miss it,
Noonan. Miss it.

- Miss it, Noonan.
- Noonan!

Oh!

Hey, guys.
Cap, this is Dana.

Well, hello there, Dana.

We'll take
three boxes of Samoas,

- four boxes of Thin Mints...
- I'm not a Girl Scout.

- This is my girlfriend.
- Can she get us cookies?

These are my pledges,
the future of the KT house.

- Really?
- Anthony Hopkins.

They've done
a lot of crazy stuff,

like, uh... What
have you guys done?

Were we supposed
to do anything?

When Spitter was a pledge,

he stole a top-secret
weather thingie.

The Remington-Herzog
Atmospheric Destabilizer?
That was you?

That's how I made
Vesuvius rain beer.

And then we put some
farm animals in Omega Chi,

and we took over the KT house,
locking out the actives.

Uh, that sounds
like a lot of work.

OK, you need to step it up
and make your mark,

or else no one will
remember you here.

Why do some of you guys
have OXs? I thought
you were KTs?

I like my practice conditions
to be as real as possible.

Tomorrow's the IFC
Greek Gods of Golf Tourney,

where I will smite
Evan Chambers.

Golf is just the beginning

- of your secret
master plan, right, Cap?
- Absolutely.

To lure them
into my master trap,
I have master bait.

- Yeah?
- All in good time, Spitter.

That's on
a need-to-know basis,

- and right now
you don't need to know.
- I get it.

You can't talk about your big
secret plan in front of me
because I'm a girl?

No. It's 'cause you didn't
bring me any Thin Mints.

So now that he's gone,
what's your big secret plan?

- I wish I knew.
- You guys are good.

God, we only have
six weeks left at CRU

and in the ZBZ house.

I know. We're about
to experience a lot
of lasts together,

like a last Spring Break
and a last finals.

- Mm-hmm.
- Our last 10:15am
on March 10th.

Our last 10:16.

Maybe my last six weeks
with Cappie?

Oh. Right. Sorry.

That's the last
of the lasts.

- When did Rebecca get back?
- Oh, last night.

And not to bring up
lasts again,

but this very well
could be your last chance

to be there for Rebecca
as her big sis.

Looks like she's pretty upset
that Evan broke up with her.

Or maybe she's fine.

Fine? A few days
in Jackson Hole

and suddenly
everything is fine?

Uh... Hey, Rebecca.

- How are you doing?
- Fine.

Um... if you need to talk,
your big sis is here.

- For you.
- No, thanks.

Wow, OK. I just thought
you'd be upset about Evan,

maybe even show some
real human emotion,

- but, whatever.
- Wow, OK.

Thanks for checking in
with me, big sis.

Have you seen
today's paper?

Those administration asshats
canceled Greek Week.

- What? Why?
- I'll summarize.

Some crap about
budgetary issues,

more crap about moving funds
to next year's rush,

and total crap about
no more Blue Ribbon events.

But Greek Week was our
last chance to take down

the Gamma Psis
before we graduate.

- Without it, we finish...
- Number two.

Oh, hi, Natalie.
Isn't this Katherine's room?

Sure is. I mean, ever since
you burned down our house.

So sorry to hear
about the cancellation
of Greek Week, Case.

I'm super bummed
for you guys.

I mean, I had no idea
when I started the petition

to redistribute funds
to next year's rush
it would actually do it.

I guess now ZBZ will have
to go into rush number two.

Good luck getting
the best girls with that.

Oh, and, uh, tell Ash
to say hi to Pete for me,

- if they're still dating.
- They're actually...
They're not.

Oh. Super bummed
for Ash, too.

Bye!

Casey, I was just
as surprised as you.

But how can they cancel
Greek Week?

The boys get an extra event
with the Greek Gods of Golf,

and, what, the sororities
are just done?

We deserve one last chance
to win Blue Ribbon points.

- I mean, isn't there
something that we can do?
- I wish there were,

but unfortunately, events
have to be approved,

voted on, and scheduled
months in advance.
I mean, it's in our bylaws.

However, if someone
were to point out

that traditionally there
was a Goddesses portion of
the Greek Gods competition

we might be able
to have it reinstated.

So we would play... golf?

No, no.

OK, let's say hypothetically
a beauty pageant portion

was taken off the calendar
in the 1960s,

I can only guess
due to women's liberation.

But if someone
were to petition the
president of Panhellenic,

we might be able to have
another Blue Ribbon event.

Oh! I'd like to propose

that we reinstate
a beauty pageant.

A beauty pageant?
Are you crazy?

I think an event
to find a Goddess

should be much more geared
toward strength of character

and less about superficial
outward appearances.

- But you just...
- Although,

if we could update it
to modern standards,

I think I might be able
to convince the board
to bring it back.

Why would you do this?
Don't you want Gamma Psi
to win?

Well, personally I would
have preferred to battle it
out during Greek Week.

I think a victory
achieved on a technicality
is far less satisfying.

But I'm going to Yale Law,
so moving the frick on.

I was thinking we could go
to Myrtle Beach for Spring Break
with the rest of the house.

Or we could do this.

Sebastian went last year
and said he had such a blast.

I don't know.
I mean, a gay cruise?

- It's kind of a singles thing.
- Not if we do it together.

But we're gonna have to put
the deposit down soon, so...

Hey, uh, Cal?

There's a Jehovah's Witness
here to see you.

Uh, I'm a Baptist,
thank you.

It's like mistaking a
Methodist for a Lutheran.

- Hey, guys.
- Let me know
what you decide.

What's up, Dale?

I got a favor to ask.

There's this young man
in my church group, Adam,

who has some
difficult questions that
I'm afraid I'm not...

...qualified to answer.

He thinks
he might be like you.

- Catholic?
- Gay.

And, after three months
of talking to the pastor,

he's still not giving in.

Oh, I see. So you want me
to talk him out of
making this choice?

It's not a choice, Calvin.
For a gay guy,
you're awfully ignorant.

No, he just, you know,
he's never met
a gay person before.

Well, that he knows of.

He just wants
to talk to a gay person,

and there's nobody
like that at our church...

...that we know of.

Well, of course, Dale.
I'd be happy to help you.

Thank you.

Ah, I've never been
on a cruise before.

These guys look like
they're having fun...
on each other.

So Cappie and I were talking
about his big revenge plans

against the Omega Chi, but...

You know, I forgot
some of the details.

- What was the first part?
- Forget it. He hasn't
told me anything.

Ooh, grab that table.

Case, listen,
I know you're mad at me
for punching Rusty,

and I just wanted to say
that I am sorry, OK?

I was in a really bad place
over Rebecca cheating on me

and unfortunately your brother
took the brunt of it.

Wrong place at the
wrong time. I'm sorry.

OK, I appreciate that,

but you should tell Rusty.
He's right over there.

OK.

Rusty.

I just wanted to say
sorry for hitting you.

I don't accept your apology,
because three of my friends

had to leave CRU
because of you.

Hey, you're the one
that threw it in my face

about Beaver sleeping
with my girlfriend.

I can't believe you guys
put him up to that

just to get revenge for
those stupid expulsions.

- Is that what you think?
- You crossed a line.

It seems
to really bother you.

Too bad your humiliation
will continue

- when Cappie kicks your ass
at golf tomorrow.
- That's not likely

'cause Cappie picked up
a wicked slice when
we played last semester.

Last semester? You mean
freshman year, right?

No, I mean last semester,
when Cappie and I
buried the hatchet.

You really didn't know.
No, that is impossible.

Cappie's my friend.
He would've told me.

Well, sounds to me
like maybe you two

aren't such good friends
after all.

- So, everything's good?
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, we're all good.
We're all friends here.

Guess who?

What are you doing?

- Come on.
- I don't like
guessing games

or public displays of affection.
I'm a very private person.

But I need a little PDA
from my GF NNT.

That's "now 'n' then."
I made that one up.

Dale, let's not label
what we have,

or initial it, or speak about it
out loud with other people.

I prefer
if we keep this relationship
in the pantry for now.

All right. Uh, you do admit
it's a relationship.

- That's a start.
- Then it's settled.

What happens in the pantry
stays in the pantry.

"The pageant will consist
of an evening gown competition,

followed by a socially
relevant and intellectually
challenging Q & A."

So we have to choose one member
to represent the house

who exemplifies
all the qualities of...

- I nominate Ashleigh!
- I second that!

- I'm retired.
- Yeah, Ash has a pageant past.

I had a respectable career.

I was crowned
Little Miss Perfect,
Little Miss Princess,

Little Miss Unincorporated
Arapahoe County

before hanging up my
dental flippers at age six...

...when the pressure
got to me.

So...

I would like to nominate
Casey instead.

And I'd like
to nominate Rebecca!

- Beth?
- Beth?

- Can she even nominate?
- I accept the nomination.

Really? Rebecca,
you want to compete?

- Why wouldn't I?
- Well, given the whole
Beaver thing...

- Hey, it didn't hurt
Vanessa Williams' career.
- No, not... not that.

Um, it's just probably best if
you stay out of the limelight

due to all of your... scandals.
We need to win. No offense.

All right.
All those in favor

of Casey representing ZBZ
in the Greek Goddess pageant?

OK, great!

This crowd has gone
deadly silent.

Cinderella story,
out of nowhere,

a former greenskeeper
now about to become...

...the Masters champion.

Ow!

Hey, Cap. Put down the club.
I gotta talk to you.

Oh, certainly,
Your Eminency.

I spoke to your buddy Evan.

- Said you're quite the golfer.
- Gopher?

Golfer! Something about
your slice last semester,

when you guys were friends.

OK, yes, Evan and I
called a truce,

but that was last semester.
Everything's changed.

Were you guys friends
when Wade and the guys
got expelled?

You can't tell me about
your secret friendship,

- you can't tell me
about your revenge plans...
- Trust me, Evan will pay.

- Tell me about your plan.
- Ronald Reagan.

How does a dead president help
us get revenge on Omega Chi?

Where... What is...?

Gee, I wonder who
could have done this?

- Jigsaw?
- Clearly it was
the Omega Chi.

They must have done this
so you wouldn't beat
your pal Evan at golf.

- Ex-pal.
- They never would have
kidnapped us

if you hadn't
dragged your feet
on your whole revenge plan.

Come on. No, I want to
hear Cappie's master plan.

- I mean, don't you trust me?
- No, it's about me and Evan.

How many times do I have
to get hit in the face
before it's about me too?

I don't know.
How many times has it been?

I don't want to drag
other people into it, OK?

Like Wade, Jeremy,
and Ferret?

You know what?
Why don't you just stick to
the science and beaker stuff

and I'll handle
the revenge, OK?

In the meantime
I'll figure out a way
to escape

since you won't share
your plan in that either.

Beauty pageants
require contestants

to answer important questions
about difficult issues.

While parading around
in swimsuits.

Not our pageant. Katherine
lifted the swimsuit portion.

Boo! Why?

Because we're promoting
"female empowerment,"
not bulimia.

Oh, look,
my big sis and my ex.

So much for sisterhood.

Rebecca, you can't
expect me to pick sides.

You're right.

You should be there
for Evan just as you've
been there for me.

But I guess you've been
too busy with the pageant.

Why are you so
against me competing?

You always have to be
the hero.

It's my responsibility
to get the house back on top.

Well, what will you do next year
to validate yourself

when there are no ZBZ
contests for you to win?

And you,
I know you're the one

who broke into my room
and took back the necklace.

I should call the cops.

But I won't. So I guess
that makes us even.

Wow.

So, Adam, uh, Dale has
told me what's going on,

what you're feeling.
Let's talk.

I think I might be...

Uh...

- ...gay.
- See? It's OK to say
the word out loud.

- What makes you think so?
- I saw New Moon six times.

Aw, man,
that Mormon bunk again?

Yeah, that is
definitely a sign.

You know, my pastor says
being gay is lonely,

like, you'll never
find love,

or have
a real relationship.

Well, no offense
to your pastor,
but he's an idiot.

I'm in a really good
relationship right now,

with a guy who just
came out, actually.

Just like that? He came out
and you found each other?

No. You can't always
count on that.

Usually it's a process.

You have to spend some time
figuring out who you really are

before you know what you want
in someone else.

And you and your boyfriend,
you both want the same thing?

Hey, why don't you bring
Grant to our next coffee,

so we can show Adam how happy
and gay and committed you are.

Sure. Yeah, I know he would love
to show you how happy we are.

- Saved By The Bell!
- Been said!

The College Years.

Damn,
'90s TV tag is hard.

Um... excuse me.

Yeah, I hate to interrupt
while you're curing
world hunger and all,

but I haven't been able
to reach Rusty all day
and I'm kinda worried.

Haven't seen him.
Try Cappie.

You know, I haven't seen
Cappie either.

So two of your brothers
are missing?

Sounds like it.

- And your golf
tournament is today?
- Yeah, in like an hour.

Against your big rival
fraternity the Omega Chis?

Yeah. We hate them.

So isn't it just
a little bit weird

that they're both not here?

OK, we don't have time
for your questions.

Cappie and Rusty have been
kidnapped by the Omega Chis.

- What's up with the Omega Chis?
- We think they kidnapped
Rusty and Cappie.

- We'll find them.
- Hurry! It's almost
tee time.

- We don't have time for tea!
- Golf, Beav.

You know, I can't believe
Rebecca thinks I'm doing
this for the credit,

or that I'm having
trouble letting go.

You need to stop
worrying about that

and start worrying
more about "smysing."

- What?
- Smiling with your eyes.

You look like
a mime on drugs.

Hey, Casey. I heard
you were competing.

Would you like to meet
your competition?

This is Eliana Hernandez.

She's a very recent
Gamma Psi transfer from UCLA,

but grew up
in Caracas, Venezuela.

We were gown shopping.
She's from warm climates

and her longest dress
was mid-thigh-high.

So against the rules.

Well, we're just on our
way to the tailor now.

She won't need that.
She's so tall and thin
she could wear runway sizes.

Well, good luck tomorrow.
Bye!

You're the one who's
gonna need the luck.

Venezuela almost always
wins Miss Universe

and California
dominates Miss USA,

so a Venezuelan-Californian
is virtually unbeatable.

I am all for shenanigans,
but I really have to pee.

Is it manly to pee down your leg
as long as you're not scared?

Because I'm not scared,
by the way.

Hey, how'd you do that?

This stuff
dissolves adhesive.

Looks like my beakers
and my science stuff
came in pretty handy, huh?

- Say hi to Evan for me.
- Wait! No, hey...

Rus! Not funny.

Rusty, come on. Rusty!

Who's holding
that WD-40 now?

Say it, Cap.
Say it...

Fine! You're holding
the WD-40 now.

Come on, take this off.

Oh!

- It's the Omega Chi.
- God, I have to pee.

Rusty and Cappie,
we're here to rescue you!

Where'd they go?

Are the brothers gonna
get mad when they find out

it was us
who kidnapped them?

And then lost them?

I think
I peed a little.

Maybe there's a gas station
down the road.

- But you just went.
- So we can use
their phone.

I think it'll be
faster this way.

Well, I trust my instincts.

Is it really
that big of a deal
that we go my way?

I mean, back there,
who was holding...

The WD-40, yeah, I know.

But I'm the president
of the house.

And if I have to keep
something from my little bro

for the sake of
the national/house security,
then you have to accept that.

Maybe I'm tired of always
being your "little brother."

- You'd rather be
my little sister?
- Fine. You go your wrong way,

- I'm gonna go mine.
- Fine! But I'm more fine.

- Finer.
- The finest!

- Hey.
- Hey.

How'd it go with that kid?

Uh, I told him that
you would come along
next time.

- I mean, if you can.
- Sure, no problem.

So, what's the verdict
with the cruise?

I'm sorry, I just...

I don't really want to spend
Spring Break with a bunch of
single gay strangers.

So you'd rather spend it
with thousands of drunk
homophobic straight dudes

and girls with low self-esteem
and wet T-shirts?

No, I would rather spend it
with you and our friends

rather than spend a week
on the gay Love Boat.

Fine. Then maybe you should
go to Myrtle Beach,

I'll go on the cruise.

Look, I...
I didn't mean that.

Are you sure?
'Cause I'm starting
to wonder if you wish

you had the chance to explore
more of the single gay world

before settling down
in a relationship with me.

Never should have let your
brother wander off alone.

Well, he couldn't have
gone too far.

Unless the Omega Chis
nabbed him again.

Either way, we're missing
the golf tournament.

Hopefully they'll have better
luck with your beauty pageant.

Maybe if we kidnap
Eliana Hernandez.

She's Gamma Psi's
pageant contestant
from Venezuela

who transferred
to CRU from UCLA.

A Cali-zuelan?
You're screwed.

I mean, I'm sure
you'll beat her.

Maybe I should let
Rebecca compete,

so she can lose
to that supermodel.

Serve her right for being
such a bitch earlier.

She's just pissy
because she wants to
compete in the pageant

- and I didn't support her.
- Why not?

Because scandals don't help
pageant contestants win.

They help them get on
Perez and Larry King,

and this is our last chance
to put the house back on top.

Are you sure it's not your
last chance to save the day?

I mean, you've done so much
for the house already,

maybe you don't always
need to be the hero.

- There's Rusty.
- Oh.

Hey.

Say it, Spitter. Who has the
low-emissions vehicle now?

- Yeah.
- Nice!

Why didn't
Kappa Tau show up?

Doodie! Stop the match!

- You gotta clean the course.
- We're done, you jackass.

Still no word on
the Kappa Tau player.

Yeah, we're here!

OK!
Everybody hold up!

Stop playing! Cap is ready.

- OK.
- It's too late. Sorry.

- Kappa Taus are disqualified.
- No, the Omega Chis
need to be disqualified.

- They kidnapped me.
- Yeah, right.

Don't try and
talk your way out of this

- with that fancy talk you got.
- Obviously it was you.

We were transported
in a black SUV,

- just like the one Trip drives.
- Yeah.

Uh, like that one?

No, but
that's Dumptruck's.

Oh, my God.

We were kidnapped
by our own pledges.

We meant to get you
back in time,

but when we got to the shed,
you guys were gone.

You made me miss
the whole tourney.

We only wanted to make our mark,
like Spitter's pledge class.

Well,
nice work, losers.

Couldn't have done it
without you guys. Thanks!

Chest out. Chin up.

Chest out!

"Smyse." Chest out!

OK, so we need
more "smysing."

Smyse like you mean it.

- Gown in the house.
- Oh, thank you so much
for picking it up, Abby.

No problem. But I thought
you were supposed to wear
a floor-length evening gown.

Oh, what did they do?

They were supposed
to take off two inches,
not two feet!

They said some little blonde
came in for new measurements.

- I thought they meant you.
- It was probably Natalie.

This would be
a floor-length gown on her.

What are we gonna do?
We're sunk.

I have a few gowns

- that'd be perfect
for this competition.
- Really? From what?

From being rich.
I can win the pageant.

I've been walking around
and fake smiling for years.

Forget it. Thought maybe
you'd finally give me a chance,

but... whatever.

Wait. If you really
want to do it...

...then I guess it's all
riding on you, Rebecca.

Testing...
One... One, two, two...
Hello, everybody,

and welcome to CRU's
Greek Goddess of Brains
and Beauty competition.

- Whoo!
- Now, this is not a night
about skin or swimsuits

and it's not about the
objectification of women!

We can just fill in
those gaps here.

Come on forward.
Let's fill in the gaps.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Classic two-step
heel plant.

With pivot. She's a pro.

Come on, slip!

♪ Work it like a supermodel
Work it like a supermodel ♪

♪ Work it like a supermodel
Work it like a supermodel ♪

♪ Work it like a supermodel
Work it like a supermodel ♪

- ♪ Work it like a supermodel ♪
- Slut!

- Tramp!
- Skank!

Hey, shut the hell up!
Not cool!

♪ Work it at the runway
Runway, runway ♪

♪ Work it at the runway
Work it at the runway ♪

♪ Work it ♪

Hey. Where's Grant?

Uh, he will not be
joining us today.

We're kinda having
some issues.

- What kind of issues?
- Uh, well,

we had a disagreement
over a gay cruise.

Hey, Calvin, please come
with me for a second.

- What was that about?
- You're supposed to show Adam

that being gay means
you can be in a healthy,
committed relationship.

- I know, but...
- Whereas the gay cruise
promotes promiscuity.

- Dale, that's not...
- I saw the pictures.

All those shaved calves
and snug swim trunks.

You're supposed to
help me, not betray me
like some gay Judas.

No, you asked me
to help Adam,

who should know all
the facets of gay life

not some just idealized version
or the stereotypes. By the way,

thanks for your concern
about me and Grant.

Come on!

Adam...

It's possible that
my relationship with Grant

may not make it
in the long run.

It's starting to seem like
we want different things.

Or, they might make up
tonight, chastely.

Relationships are hard,
gay or straight.

But you can't hide
your feelings in the closet

and settle for something
that isn't right for you.

Which is part of coming out.

♪ Oh, so he's got it made ♪

You let your brothers
trash Rebecca

in front of the entire Greek
system. Real classy, Chambers.

Yeah, look,
I told them to stop, OK?

Maybe they wouldn't have
started it if they weren't
taking their cue from you.

- Maybe I did punch
the wrong guy.
- Maybe you did.

Hey, hey! Hey!

Jeez. You were the one
who stabbed him in the back.

He wasn't the one who slept
with your girlfriend.

You're gonna hit me
again? Do it.

My face is numb from all
the other times anyway.

All right.

Impressive, Rus.

How can you be friends
with that guy?

Because I thought
that he could change.

I thought he could be the guy
that I wanted him to be.

Well, you don't
trust me, even though
I always have your back.

Why won't you tell me
your plan for revenge?

Because there isn't one.

- Seriously?
- I have nothing,

except for maybe a small case
of revenge block.

You didn't think
that I could help you?

I didn't want to disappoint you.
It had to be perfect,

and I don't have perfect
in me right now.

But I know that.
You're one of the biggest
screw-ups in the school.

Well, thank you
very much, my friend.

But I also know that
if I have a problem

I can always come
to you. I just wish
you felt the same.

Quit being my hero
and start being my friend.

Boys can be so stupid
and immature.

Don't listen
to any of that.

I bet you didn't expect
to see this.

I really wish you,
of all people, hadn't.

Well, it's nice to see
that you have emotions.

And tear ducts.

Why would you want
to put yourself
out there like that?

Because I wanted
to show everyone

that I didn't give a crap
about how people see me.

Everyone? Or Evan?

I mean, do you still
care about him?

Yes.

And I hate that.

I just thought that
because he's different

and messed-up,
like me...

...that he'd get me.

It was stupid.

And now I'm screwing it up
for the whole house, too.

You were right.

You were a much better
choice for this.

This competition is supposed
to be about confidence

and elegance and strength.

The fact that you even
went out there, after
everything that's happened...

...I can't think of anyone
who's all of those things
more than you.

You're the perfect choice.

I don't think
I can go out there
for the final question round.

You can. I know we've had
our differences,

and sometimes,
wow, you really have
pissed me off...

...but you're
the future of ZBZ.

We may or may not win
tonight,

but I know that ZBZ
will be number one again,

and when that day happens,
it'll be because of you.

Now, go out there and kick
some Cali-zuelan ass, OK?

Our next contestant
is a communications major.

We have Gamma Psi's
Eliana Hernandez.

Eliana, what is your
favorite class?

I like English very much.

Uh, thank you for me
liking America.

Please note, everyone,
English is her fourth
language. Very impressive.

Moving on.
Our next contestant
is a psychology major

with a political upbringing
and a passion for calligraphy.

- We have ZBZ's Rebecca Logan.
- Whoo!

ZBZ, what is your take
on the current debate

- of healthcare reform
in our country...
- This is so rigged.

Thank you, Katherine,

and thank you to
the pageant organizers

and all those voting.

This is an issue
that's been debated to death,

which is where a lot of people
will end up without it.

And one that's been challenged
with a great deal of hypocrisy.

But you know what?

Let's focus
on that word: hypocrisy.

Here's an example:

How girls are held to an
impossible sexual standard.

How a girl
can be called a "slut"

while a guy's applauded
for his conquests.

And when she wants
to seem strong through
the name-calling,

she's a bitch.

And it's not just the guys
who are saying this, ladies.

But it's important to
call out such hypocrisy,

because we're not actually
gods and goddesses.

We're humans...
who make mistakes.

Hopefully we learn
from them and move on,

pulling ourselves back up.

Recently,
I made a mistake.

But there's only
one person here

who has the right
to speak to me about it.

As for everyone else...

I'm Rebecca Logan,
and I'm a ZBZ.

And I'm damn proud of both.

Whoo!

Thanks.

Thank you all for voting.

Didn't they all look
fantastic and empowered?

Now I, for one,
am a firm believer

that we are
all winners here,

but unfortunately, that is
not how a competition works.

So I'd like to start
by announcing the winner

of the Greek Gods
of Golf competition.

The lowest score
for this evening,

and this year's
Greek God...

...is Evan Chambers
from Omega Chi.

And this year's
Greek Goddess...

...is Rebecca Logan
from ZBZ.

Congratulations.
I thought
what you said...

Save it.

What do you want
now, a hug?

I want a chance to
kick your ass in golf.

Night golf.

Why should I? I already won
the IFC golf tournament.

By default.
You didn't beat me.

All right.
Yeah, fine. I'll play.
What do we get if we win?

How about Pickle's uncle's
beach house he lent us
for the spring break.

- It's got eight bedrooms...
- No, no, no.

Where are we gonna stay
if we lose?

We're not gonna lose.
I know what I'm doing.

And if you win,
however unlikely?

We get your house
for 24 hours,

for the most badass party
and you're not invited.

Don't even, Chambers.
They'll trash our whole house.

Uh-oh!
Pumpkinhead's scared.

Just listen to me
this once, please.

- Do not bet the beach house.
- It's too late. That's a deal.

Good.

So you want to go, uh,

check out the whole
golf death match thing?

Actually, I was thinking
about heading over
to Gentlemen's Choice,

just to grab a beer,
if that's cool.

Well, you don't have
to ask me, you know.

That's what
you want to do.

I don't... I don't know
what I want.

I think you do.

I think that
you want to be single.

That's so untrue.

Oh, come on, I don't even care
about that stupid gay cruise.

Come on, Grant. This
isn't about the cruise
or Gentlemen's Choice.

You came out of the closet
right into a relationship
with me,

and, you know,
you think you missed out.

You want to know what
it's like to be single.

Maybe. A little.

I'm so grateful
for everything you did,
helping me come out.

Calvin...

...I love you.

I love you, too. But
I don't want grateful.

You know, I need to be
with someone...

...who wants
to be with me...

...just me.

Are you ready for that?

I don't know what to say.

I think you just did.

So that's it? I mean,
we're breaking up?

Yeah, I...
I guess we are.

Wow.

This is so weird.

I just want to say...

...thank you for everything.

Look, you don't have
to thank me. Come on.

All right, so you guys
ready to lose

that kick-ass
Spring Break suite?

Are you ready
for 50 drunk KTs

puking and peeing
in your house?

And that's just
in your room.

All right, guys.

I have your balls.

The blue ball's yours,
naturally.

Thank you.

All right, it's a one-shot
challenge with nine-irons.

The closest one
to the hole wins.

- Are you OK?
- Uh, yeah.

Grant and I just broke up.

I'm sorry to hear that.

And it's...
in the water!

- Really?
- What?

Is it?

No, I wish.

It's actually about
two feet from the pin.

- Why would he set us up like that?
- - Way to go, Evan!

- Way to go! Beautiful.
- Beat that!

All right.
Well, if there are
no objections,

I'd like Rusty
to swing for me.

What are you doing?
You're the golfer.

Rusty, you're
my little brother.

You know how important
this is to me. I know
you'll do the right thing.

Just be the ball, OK?
Be the ball.

Be the ball, be the ball,
be the ball, be the ball...

Just be the ball, be the ball,
be the ball, be the ball...

- be the ball...
- It's kinda hard when
you're talking like that.

Sorry.

No!

It's, like, right there.

Attention, ladies
and... ladies.

I would like to present you
with this year's Greek Goddess:

ZBZ's very own
Rebecca Logan!

And since
we're all here,

it is tradition for the seniors
to give a gift to the house,

and we would like to give
our gift early.

Well, thanks to all of
your hard work this year,

and to Rebecca's win
today, our gift to you

is that ZBZ is once again
the number one house!

And we got you T-shirts
so you can flaunt it!

Thank you.

Hey, uh, Laura, uh,
I've been thinking.

I enjoy our time together,

but I don't want
to hide it behind graham
crackers and canned tuna.

You know, I want to take it
outside the pantry.

No.

Sorry.

Uh, excuse me, everybody.

Uh, attention, please.

Laura and I will
no longer be involved

in a semi-sexual
relationship.

So, as of right now,

Dale Kettlewell's
back on the market.

All right,
everyone gather around.

Spitter, come here.

Hey-o!

Yeah.

Ah, look at your faces.

- What's going on?
- We wanted Evan to win.

- Seriously?
- So you don't suck
at golf?

Oh, I suck, all right.
That was part of the plan.

So we wanted to give
them the beach house?

Which we'll use
as the greatest revenge
KT has ever known.

Ladies and gentlemen,
as president

it is my job
to nominate the one man

who can lead us to victory
and avenge our fallen comrades.

- What?
- My friend...

...and our new revenge
chair, Rusty Cartwright!

Bring us to
the promised land, Rus.

Brothers...

Phase one is complete.

Myrtle Beach.