All language subtitles for Greek S03E16 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-CRUD_track3_[eng]

- Previously on Greek:
- How could you
possibly imagine

- that we have
anything in common?
- I just thought...

- We did.
- I wanna be as brave as you.

- Maybe explore a little.
- I thought it would look
really good on you.

- Let's try it, shall we?
- Is that from Evan?

- It's a keepsake
I can keep forever.
- Think that was his idea?

- Have you seen Rebecca?
- She said she was gonna
step out and get some air.

- How about we go upstairs?
- Why do you wanna go...?

- Oh, my God!
- I just miss you.

Now you're double dating
with Evan and Rebecca
instead of me and Cappie.

- Have fun.
- You, too, Case.

If anybody knows his way
inside the beltway,
it's Joel.

We mostly hire people
with post-graduate degrees
for legislative aide jobs.

- Have you thought
about law school?
- I'm gonna go to law school.

- That's great.
- And I've made
a pretty big decision myself.

This is a form
for declaring a major.
Wait, this is blank.

Hey, Cap,
um, I hope you don't mind.

But I moved some of your stuff
off your desk
and put it over there.

I have a desk? Is that
your personal statement?

Your second draft was great.
Although, I preferred
the font on your ninth.

OK. Well, It has to be perfect,
given my OK grades

and not-so-OK
practice LSAT scores.

Georgetown, Stanford and CRU
all place great importance

on the personal statement.

Hey, I get it, all right?
I'm dealing with
future stuff, too.

Like thinking about
declaring a real major.

And if I get into CRU law,
which would be ideal because
it's a really good school

and it's here, and you
find a major that you love,

maybe we could end up
graduating at the same time.
Isn't that crazy, right?

The craziest.
Done in seven years.
I'll be like Speedy Gonzales.

Maybe I should study Spanish,
or España, as they say.

You know, if you need help
finding a major, I can always
go through your transcripts.

No, no, no, no. I want you
to focus on law school.

Asking for help
isn't a bad thing.

That's why I'm so glad
that Joel agreed to read
this and give me feedback.

Joel... the Orgy Guy?

Can we just call him Joel
the Guy Who Is Going to Help
Casey Get into Law School Guy?

Mm... I don't know,
Orgy Guy gives him
a lot more personality.

Or personalidante,
as they would say.

Huh. OK.

- All right. Well, bye, Cap.
- Bye.

Pull!

And... pull!

Dumptruck, guys,
what are you doing?

- Those go in the Dumpster.
- But this is way more fun.

- And more fast.
- And no one lives
in that house.

And since Jeremy left,
no one lives in the Dumpster.

- So let's use it.
- Mornin', Spitter.

- Why so grumpy?
- These guys
won't use the Dumpster.

- I miss Jeremy.
- Yeah.

- Hey, you have a major, right?
- Yeah. Did you pick one yet?

It's a big commitment.
I was thinking about archeology.

- You know, I've always
liked Indiana Jones.
- Did you see the last movie?

- Good point.
How about astronaut?
- Oh, that's not a major.

Looks like I'm back
to square one then.

You probably have
a lot of options.
You just need to focus.

That's the problem.
See, I'm not a fan
of the focus-y stuff, you know?

Hey, Mr. Spitter, I think
Dumptruck might be dead.

Any of this
belong to you boys?

- Never seen it.
- Yes.

Well, no big deal, but there's
a lot more over there.

I'll bet you if you all
worked together, you could
clear it out in an afternoon.

- Wait. Who are you?
- We're your new neighbors.

- Hey.
- Hey, stranger!

How was your
big date with Pete?

- It was amazing.
- Tell me.

I want to, but I'm running late
for a potato chip focus group
for my retail marketing class.

Oh, sounds salty.

And I volunteered us
to do nametags and cups
for the dorm reunion.

Oh, crap! The freshman
dorm reunion, right.
I'll get cups from the KT house.

- Oh, and guess whose
roommate's gonna be there.
- Yours?

No, but it turns out
Janine's freshman 15

- is now a two-year-old
named Toby.
- No way!

- Oh, so Sunny's
going to be there?
- She never liked me.

So, um, name tags.

I have this focus group
until three. How about
we do them at four?

Oh, I'm meeting Joel
at four. Six?

- I have dinner with Pete.
- And including
your making out...

- How about ten?
- Oh, pledge bonding.
We're doing kitty collages.

- And I have class
all day tomorrow.
- Uh, tomorrow night? 7:30?

- 7:30 nametags.
- Great.

Oh, along with all the details
on your date with Pete.

- OK. Bye!
- Bye.

How can smelly, old people
just move in next door?

- Isn't that illegal?
- I thought you said after that
fraternity disbanded

in the '80s, no one
lived there anymore
'cause it's cursed.

It is. By us. Our Mardi Gras
party is next week,

which means Ma and Pa
Poopy-pants are gonna
be pooping on our party.

I think we are overreacting
a little bit, OK?

The Hilgendorfs seem
like reasonable people.

What?

We had a very interesting
conversation when we were
cleaning out their yard.

Professor Hilgendorf
is a music historian.

He's faculty?
Rusty, trust me, this is bad.

They're gonna want us to be
neighborly, respectful, quiet.
That's not us.

You know what?
We need to get them gone.

How about a haunting?
Where are the chains at?

Look, I think we could
get along with them.

Good fences, good neighbors?

OK, I'll take care of it,
and you can concentrate
on your major.

OK.

OK, guys. Against my better
judgment, Spitter is going
over there to make nice.

So someone start a pool
to see how long I have until I
get to tell him "I told you so."

- I'll start.
- I got that.

Cap, I did something,
and I feel kinda bad about it.

Well, you seem
extremely upset.

I had sex with Rebecca Logan!

I'm sorry.
I broke the bro code.

- If you want to hit me,
I understand.
- Wait, wait, wait.

Is this like last year when you
"had sex" with Wonder Woman?

I'm still not
convinced I didn't.

Remember all the rope burns
when the guys were teasing
you with the Lasso of Truth?

Yeah, OK. But...

I'm still 75 to 25 percent sure
I had sex with Rebecca.
I was drinking...

OK. Why don't you just
keep this to yourself
until you're absolutely sure.

OK? We wouldn't want Wonder
Woman to get jealous, would we?

OK. Let's go
get those chains.

Hey, you look
pretty cheery for a guy
who lost his date last night.

Oh, Rebecca left me a message.
Apparently, she had
food poisoning

and she ran out so she
wouldn't throw up on me.

- You sure she
didn't see you dance?
- Funny.

But listen to this. With the
extra time I had this morning,

I was able to finish the last
of my law school applications.

- Hey! Let's celebrate.
- I know!

Yeah! Looks like you
already are, man.
What's up with Club Calvin?

Ah. Well, I'm making a gay-list.

- A what?
- It's a playlist of gay music.

Does this have to do
with Grant's new... look?

Uh, yeah, a little.

It's just that
I've been surrounded by
so much straight in my life,

I've never really opened my eyes
to see what else is out there.

Seeing Grant sort of explore
this new world has
motivated me to do the same.

To boldly go where ten percent
of men have gone before.

Oh, yeah.
Seriously, stop dancing, OK?

- Hey, Evan,
I was looking for you.
- Yo.

I was going through
the receipts from the party

and there's like $500
missing from the petty cash.

I think someone stole it.

Wait, like a guest
from last night?

No, the cash box
is hidden. Um...

Only a brother
would even know to look for it.

It sounds like we have
a thief in the house.

Damn.

I hate when my human sexuality
study group finishes without me.

What can I say?
You came late.

Ah.

So...

I heard the
craziest thing today.

Beaver thinks he had sex
with you last night.

He told you?
My God, you guys gossip
worse than sorority girls.

He was right?
Was this Chambers-inspired?

Did he sleep with a townie?
Get a few of your
sisters expelled?

He bought me a necklace
for Valentine's Day.

- And you didn't like it?
- No, it's beautiful.

A silver, teardrop pendant
with a diamond...

...that I'm not wearing.
It's just, he's being romantic

and buying me gifts and it's all
very sweet and overwhelming
and something I'm not used to.

OK, well, setting aside
the possible personal attack

and considering you
and I dated and that Evan
is a first-class ass-hat,

shouldn't you be happy
that you're being wooed?

Unless you really like him
and that freaks you out

- so you're messing
all this up on purpose.
- What?

Spring break?
Wet T-shirt contest?

"I'm beneath you"?
Ring any bells?

Don't confuse your
old feelings about me
with the way I felt about you.

OK, maybe I don't like
getting too comfortable.
What can I say?

Well, you can say how Chambers
took it when you dumped him.
Did he cry?

- Why would I dump him?
- Why wouldn't you?

Look, I like Evan.

And as much as it might
bother you, I do care about him.

I just don't want things
to get so serious.

That doesn't mean I'm ready
to throw in the towel.

OK. Well, if you're
not gonna dump him,

- aren't you worried he's
gonna find out about Beaver?
- Not really.

Who's gonna believe Beaver?
You didn't.

Good point.
Just promise me one thing.

- I won't hurt your brother.
- Oh, Beaver? Please,
he had sex, he's fine.

If you decide to tell Evan,
just let me know.
I'd like to be there for that.

Just text me about it.

Well, it's a little...

- ...dry.
- Dry can be good.

- Like a martini.
- It reads like your
resume in paragraph form.

It won't distinguish you
from the thousands
of other applicants.

Thousands? And I bet they
started working on this
last fall instead of last month.

If it makes you feel any better,
I always planned
to go to law school

and I didn't know what
to write for mine, either.

- How'd you figure it out?
- The Backstreet Boys.

- Oh, I can write about them.
- It wasn't just about them.

I couldn't understand how
the Supreme Court had made

such a bad decision
on this voting rights case,

and then I remembered that

I took my ex-wife
to a Backstreet Boys concert
for our first date.

Another bad decision,
and a connection between me
and our nation's highest court.

Ex-wife?

- Sorry, none of my...
- It's OK.

We got married a week
after graduation,

I started law school
and she started working.

Somewhere between trusts
and estates and cyberlaw,

we found ourselves
on different paths.

- I'm sorry.
- Don't be.

The older you get,
the more you realize

some people should be
around your entire life

and others should just
make an appearance.

So, um, I should find
a personal connection

- between myself and the law.
- Mm-hm.

Um... I stole a pair
of earrings from Claire's
when I was in seventh grade.

Misdemeanor.

Now, if you have
ever been charged
with murder or arson...

Charged? No. No, no.

No!

No charging.

So when are your
applications due?

- Friday.
- Then I hope you've
got a lot of time

to do some thinking
in the next few days,
'cause you got some work to do.

Yeah...

So far, so good
with the Hilgendorfs.

I had the pledges sweep their
porch, clean their gutters

and wire their surround sound.
It's all good.

Which just leaves me
with my major major problem.

Have you thought about English?

That's a great idea.
I already speak it. Right?

- Professor Hilgendorf.
- Nope. Call me Tom.

Margie made these
to thank you boys.

Hm...

- Free food!
- Free food? Where?

Oh!

Listen, I also wanted
to talk to you about your fence.

I think it's kind of strange,
the way it abuts our house.

Oh.

- You got beer pong.
- Why? Is it too loud?

Welcome to the best part
of the neighborhood, Tom-o.

- Eye candy.
- Hm.

OK. That's my daughter.
Her name is Hannah.

And she is 16 years old.

Sixteen. I repeat, 16.

Thanks, Dad.
That was mortifying.

Mom said dinner's
ready in ten minutes.

- Oh. Well, I better get going.
- Enjoy your meatloaf.

Oh, I will. Oh, uh, also,
can I ask you guys

to rein in the noise
after 10pm on school nights?

- That sounds
sort of reasonable.
- Then you know what?

Here's a few other
simple requests that
you shouldn't mind at all.

"Noise curfew of midnight
on Friday and Saturday,

lawn free of alcohol,
furniture and debris,

- no foul language at any time?"
- Thanks, guys.

- Who had six hours?
- That'd be me.

Someone pay the man,
because, Spitter,

I told you so!

Last night, I emailed Rusty
to thank him again
for Valentine's Day

and I also included a link
to a very fascinating clip
about a high-speed robot hand.

But do you think that
that was too forward of me?

And how long do you think
I should wait before
I take the hint?

Huh?

I'm sorry. Is it
uncomfortable for you
to discuss your brother

- in terms of romantic liaison?
- Always.

I'm sorry, I'm just...
I'm really stressed.

Well, maybe we should
get a cup of coffee and
discuss what's bothering you.

And also about these feelings
I'm having for Rusty.

As fun as that sounds,
I really need to work
on my personal statement.

Oh, maybe I could come over
and brainstorm some ideas.

- I was recently accepted
into Yale Law.
- Congratulations!

That'd be great.
You don't mind?

Of course not.
But perhaps while we work,

I could ask you some
hypothetical questions
about dating?

- We could pretend I'm not
talking about your brother.
- Yay.

Bite me, A.

- Who you calling an A?
- You, you R.

- What the H is an R?
- I think it's the same as a Q.

Well, this turned out well.

Come on, Cap.
What's the harm in a few rules?

Well, one,
most KTs can't spell,

and two, this is
a fraternity house.
At least it used to be.

Well, I guess I'll go over
there and talk to Tom again.

What, so he can
assign a dress code?

No, this is when we fight back,
this is when we play dirty,

this is when we make them pay.

We cannot go to war
with a faculty member.

We will all get expelled.

Wait a minute.
We can Borg him.

- I'll get Heath.
- No, no, no.

Absorb him
into our collective.

If he feels like he's one of us,

maybe he will relax the rules.

You know, Spitter,
that oddly makes sense.

Hey, and maybe he could
help you pick a major.
He is faculty,

and the one thing old people
love to do more than anything
else is give advice to kids.

Z... S...

I bet I know
who stole the money.

I don't want to be elitist,
but hello? Housekeeping?

All right.
Everybody, calm down.

Come on, let's not turn
this into a witch-hunt.

I bet it was Trip. He's the
first to blame everyone else

so he can throw
suspicion off himself.

What am I supposed to do,
just sit back
and let us get ripped off?

No one's saying
do nothing, Trip.

But there's no reason
for us to turn on each other.

Does it really
matter who took it?
It's only 500 bucks.

Maybe Grant took it.
Can't be cheap to change
your look overnight.

Maybe crazy Natalie tricked
you into stealing it for her.

Hey! What did I just say
about turning on each other?

Guys, what I meant is
maybe we can all just pitch
in a little cash and cover it.

- Problem solved.
- No. It's not about
the money, Pete.

- It's the principle.
- Hey, maybe it was Chambers.

- He needs money the most.
- OK, Trip. So after
everything Evan's been through

- with the house, you think
he'd steal the money?
- All right, maybe it was you.

Ooh!

So much for avoiding
a witch-hunt.

So Tom, what does a music
historian actually do?

I mostly just listen to music.

Boring classically
classical stuff?

Well, I have
spent the last three years

working on Richard Strauss'
Die Agyptische Helena.

Oh! Talk about driving
a man to drink.

Yes! That's true.
Hey, do you have any?

- Take mine.
- All right. Thank you.

Mm. You know, in my day,
we used to play a game

that combined eight-ball
and beer pong and gambling.

- Monkey-Hump?
- Yes!

- I'm undefeated.
- Are you?

So am I.

Borg-ing commenced.

- You know, Tom...
- Mm-hm.

We were just talking about
Cappie having so much
trouble picking a major.

I thought as a professor,
you might be able
to give him some advice.

Maybe you can discuss it
while you guys Monkey-Hump.

Well, I'd be more than happy
to help you with that.

Oh!

- It's on.
- Wow.

- Can I help you with something?
- No, thanks.

- That was weird.
- I know. She said thanks.

So I will go grab
all the nametag stuff.

- We have so much
catching up to do.
- The...?

- For the dorm reunion?
- Oh, my God! I totally forgot.

Oh. You probably forgot
to pick up the cups, too.

I'm sorry.

Joel blew apart
my personal statement

and I've been trying
to come up with a new topic.

Oh, well, that sucks.
You should've told me.

Well, maybe I can help.
It's all about marketing
yourself, right?

And who knows more about
marketing or yourself
than me and myself?

I know what your personal
statement should be about.
Hi, ZBZ.

Oh, um, Katherine
is helping me,

and she already
got into law school!

- Awesome!
- The ban on
sexual discrimination

was added to the Civil Rights
Act of 1964 by a senator

- who wanted to defeat the bill.
- But the bill passed, right?

Yes, it did. But just as
justice triumphed over cynicism,

you do not let
the negative stereotypes
of sorority girls dissuade you

- from achieving
visionary objectives.
- That is perfect!

- Right, Ash?
- Yeah.

So I'll just go
do those nametags.

Looks like you guys
got this under control.

Oh, um, don't forget
the cups, Case.

Right.

- Oh. Thanks for the cups, Rus.
- No problem.

Hey, you have a second?
You wanna see this awesome
video of this robot hand?

That Katherine sent you?

She's kind of cool
and interesting.

I wish everyone felt that way.

I think Ashleigh's
jealous of her.

Then I can't help you.
Guys don't get jealous.

That way, we have more time to
invent things and cure diseases.

And start wars
and light farts?

Well, thanks, Rus. Big help.

Um, hey, where's Cappie?
How's his major hunt going?

- Oh. Well, I think I may have
found him an academic adviser.
- Great!

I mean, I don't want
to sound like one of
those nagging girlfriends,

and it's not like I'm worried
he's gonna end up being

one of those 40-year-olds
guys still partying
at the KT house...

- Tom?
- Hey, I'm starving!

Gotta get up!

Oh, man...

That's not his
academic adviser, right?

No. That's...

...Pickle's dad.

Hey, David Sedaris is doing a
reading on campus this weekend.
You wanna go?

Sounds fun.

- You know, that was pretty
gutsy of you, taking on Trip.
- Why?

- Evan's my big brother.
- Haven't you thought
maybe he stole the money?

- He's broke.
He needs the cash.
- And he has a job.

As far as I know, he's not
investing in home hair products
and velvet suits.

So now
you think that I did it?

No, I'm just merely
pointing out why we shouldn't
be throwing around blame.

Hi, guys.

- What are you doing?
- Waiting for Evan.

- No, to the couch.
- Redecorating.

Let us know if you
find $500 in there.

Hey. Feeling better?

Yeah, must've been one
of those 24 hour things.

- I'm really hungry now.
- OK, let's go. OK.

So now we shouldn't
be throwing blame around,
even though last night

- you were pissed that someone
stole from their brothers?
- I don't like any of it, OK?

Cal, the money was stolen on my
watch, so everyone's looking
at me to fix the situation.

Well, maybe there's a way we can
solve both problems at once.

Get the money back and not
publicly humiliate anyone.

Hey, Cap.
Tom didn't go home last night?

No, he told Margie he was
up all night grading papers.

You're a genius, Spitter.
I think we Borged him.

He dropped the curfews
and told us not to worry
about the house-butt problem.

So mission
accomplished, right?

- You can send him home.
- No way, I made him
an honorary pledge.

He came as Tom.
Now, he's T-Bag.

So did T-Bag help
you with your major?

I found out what old people
being young people.

I can't believe I Monkey-Humped
you twice last night.

- Hey, do you guys
ever do keg stands?
- Hi, there. Have you seen Tom?

- No.
- No, we haven't,
Mrs. Hilgendorf.

May I say that blouse
really brings out the
color in your eyes?

And the lemon bars... Ooh!
To die for.

- Why, thank you.
- You're welcome.

And if we see Tom,
we'll be sure to tell him
you came by looking for him.

Of course. Have a nice day.

Oh! Dude, thank you.

She would've had my ass.
And not in a...
Like in a good way.

It's the least I can
do for the best
academic adviser at CRU.

- Ah...
- Hey, do you just
wanna watch sports all day?

OK! Let me get my beers!

- What's up, guys?
- Uh, when's the
old dude leaving?

'Cause if I wanted
to spend time with a guy
old enough to be my dad,

I'd go home
and hang with my dad.

He's not doing too much
for Cappie at this point either.

- You invited him here,
so make him go.
- How?

- Cappie already made him
an honorary pledge.
- You're Pledge Educator.

Just haze him until he quits.

- Uh, Pledge T-Bag?
- Uh, yes?

- Give me five?
- Oh...

These are mine.

Uh, pushups?

Hazing! Fun!

OK, let's do 'em!

Wow. OK, uh...

- Five more?
- OK. Wait a minute.

Shouldn't all the other
pledges be doing this with me?

Sorry, guys.
Ten from everyone.

Come on, you guys! All right.

♪ Tonight, tonight, tonight ♪

- May I?
- Yeah.

Good. I'll prepare the SOUF.

What's that?
What's the SOUF?

Smoothie Of Unidentified Fluids.

And you're gonna
love your costume.

♪ I'm doing fine ♪♪

You should probably
start getting ready.

Um, can I meet you there?
I just want to read
through this again.

I thought "Gamma Psi"
figured it all out for you.

Katherine has really
smart advice. She's already
gotten into Yale Law,

and she knows what the
admissions committees
are looking for.

But does she know you?

'Cause I gotta tell you, when
I think of Casey Cartwright,

I'm not reminded of
the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Well, then it's
a good thing you're not
on the admissions committees.

Why is it even called
a personal statement
if it's just a bunch of BS?

Look, I don't care
if it's BS or personal.

I just want to get
into law school.

And with Katherine's input,
I will.

You're sure about that?

I'm so sure,

I am going to go with you
to that reunion.

Great. Don't forget the cups.

Again.

No dust. Anywhere.

Beaver, did you find
any jewelry in your room?

Leave.

- A silver necklace?
- Why would that be in my room?

I think I lost it when we...

You know...

God, you're gonna
make me say it.

- When we had sex.
- We did do it!

I bet Wonder Woman
really happened, too.

Don't worry.
You were way better.

What, I'm serious.

You're actually charming
when you're not trying so hard.

Wanna go upstairs
and lose your earrings?

And now you're back. Come on,
help me find my necklace.

- How's it going, Pledge T-Bag?
- OK. What do I clean next?

Hey, you wanna
play some beer pong?

He was just about to clean
underneath the pool table.

Oh, you guys!

So I think Tom has helped me
decide what to major in.

- Really?
- Yes.

I wanna major in Tom.

I want to be having that
much fun when I'm elderly.
He's awesome.

Uh, no, he isn't.
He's creeping everybody out.

Not to mention, no girl will
ever set foot in Kappa Tau

once they know we're recruiting
senior citizens as pledges.

Untrue.
Girls love it here. Look.

- What? That's Dumptruck.
- And who's he with?

- Hannah?!
- Dad?!

You're drinking?
What is this?

I can't find my necklace.

Noise disturbance!

- Huck?
- Oh, no, campus cops.

Officer Huck. Hucky!

The old Huckster!

Yeah. There were
supposed to be little sparkly
stickers, but I ran out of time.

I couldn't do it all
by myself. Kinda like you
and your personal statement.

Well, this'll be
a fun walk down memory lane.

I'm gonna go put these
by the punch bowl.

Oh, my God! Casey!

And Ashleigh?
Is that you?

- It is. Hi, Sunny.
- Well, I haven't seen
you guys in, like, forever!

What have you been
up to these days?

Well, Ashleigh
was just talking about

how she made these
nametags all by herself.

So cute.
And what about you?

Well, she's
applying to law school.

It's a visionary objective
and nothing will stop her
from achieving it.

Oh! Uh-huh.

Wow! You two really
stuck together.

You know, I've lost touch

with almost everyone
from the dorm.

- We've been roommates.
- Oh, that explains it. Yeah.

You really can't help be friends
with the people you live with.

Kind of like how we were all
friends because the university
randomly assigned us to Pierson.

It's not like we had a ton in
common or anything!

I guess that's why
reunions are so awkward.

Well, if you wanted awkward,
you should've been
at the ZBZ house last night.

Casey was under some
serious mind control.

Were you playing Ouija?

All she was doing was helping
with my personal statement,

which is the key
to my whole future.

Which evidently is more
important than your past.

What is your problem? Why are
you so jealous of Katherine?

This isn't about Katherine.
And my problem

is that we're not on
the same page at all anymore
and you don't even realize it.

It was great
to see you both again.

If Huck finds out we have
a 16-year-old girl

hanging out at the house
with alcohol, we'll
be kicked off the Row.

- Kicked off the Row!
- And my dad'll get fired
for partying with students.

- Yeah!
- OK. Relax, it's just Huck.

We've Dewey and Anthony Hopkins
keeping him occupied inside.

We'll just walk our
Hilgendorfs out the back gate

and in through their front door.
All right?

OK!

Um...

Open it!

Un... over the fence.

Over the fence!
Who's going over the fence?

One, two, three.

- Up, up!
- Good.

This was a bad idea!
A lot of broken glass there.

- It seems quiet to me.
- That's because
you're a civilian.

Every night, I train my ears
to detect a pin drop.

By dropping pins.

And that was not a pin.

What are they doing?

Uh... tai chi.

Tai chi.

- And exhale.
- Namaste.

Breathe in.

What? I took
a Learning Annex class.

Hey, hey, guys!
You forgot to unhook the latch.

I just landed in the garden.
Our tomatoes are doing great.

Hey, Mom's home!

Well, maybe she won't be
that angry with T-Bag...

- ...T-Dad... your dad.
- Are you kidding?

If she finds out,
she'll divorce Dad,

send me off to boarding school
and shut your house down.

OK. You know what?
Rebecca,
you and Beav stall Mom.

We'll get them upstairs. OK?
Sh, sh!

- Um, OK.
- I'll open a window.

This is not
a part of Plan B.

I didn't hear anything.

- What's up?
- We are giving whoever did this

a chance to return the money
without all the finger-pointing.

So everyone gets an envelope,
which we all have
to place in a sealed box

in the Chapter Room
by tomorrow. Whoever stole
the money can return it

- without anyone knowing.
- And as long as it's returned,

- there's no need
to punish anyone.
- Makes sense to me.

Mrs. Hilgendorf, hi!
I'm Rebecca Logan,
ZBZ's Welcome Wagon.

- I'm Beaver. And I'm with her.
- Trying too hard.

OK.

Watch your head.

So, what were Rebecca
and Beaver doing upstairs?

Taking cultures
for her bio class.

If I didn't know any better,
I'd think they slept together.

- They did?!
- Leave it alone, Spitter.

- Hey, this looks like my house!
- That's 'cause it is.

- That's my bed.
- OK!

- Here we go.
We're gonna put you in bed.
- Good idea. I'm tired.

- Let's get you in there.
- Guys, I'm really tired.

We should, like,
grab a movie.

Hey, hey!
Stay away from my daughter!

Dad!

OK.

- He's all tucked in.
- Spray him and get out of here.

Hey, we could
use Rebecca and Beaver

to get back at Evan
for getting the guys expelled.

We're gonna get back at
all the Omega Chis for that,

and when we do, we won't need
to drag anybody else into it.

We gotta lose the costume, guys.

OK, OK. OK! Get his hat!

Sorry, did you say
your name was Beaver?

It's short for "The Beaver."

If you'll excuse me...

Look up here!
Look up here!

- Look up here!
- That was the signal.
We gotta hurry up.

Just a call...

- It's a... Welcome.
- Good night.

That's Rebecca's necklace.

Damn.

- Are you OK?
- No!

- Tom!
- Thank you.

Yeah.

Time to go to bed.
OK, Dad?

Hi, Mom.
Dad came down with the flu.

And there are two of us
in this friendship. So it
can't be all my fault, right?

- It's possible,
but not very probable.
- I know!

I mean, yes, I have been
a little focused on law school,

but she's been dealing
with other stuff, too.

And who's to say which
one of us turned the page
when the other wasn't looking?

I've never been
on the same page with anyone.

I joined Gamma Psi
only for the networking
connections after college.

But Casey,
I do consider you to be...

- On the same page?
- I was gonna say a friend.

- So we're friends?
- Yes.

And I was thinking
that maybe one day we
could be the kind of friends

- who could read each other's...
- Minds?

- I was gonna say books.
- Right.

But I think it takes a little
bit to get on the same page.

Um, have you read the
recent works of Alice Munro?

Um...

The recent works? No.

This is a first edition.

I just wrote my name
on the inside cover so
you know who to return it to.

Oh. Thanks.

Oh!

And I'm sorry that you and
Ashleigh have grown apart.

But it happens to a lot of
people at the end of college.

Maybe some people should
be around your entire life,

and others should just
make an appearance.

Hm.

I forgot the smell.

Dryer sheets and...

- ...and...
- Mold.

Yeah.

Well, Sunny seemed sunny.

No one should smile that much.

She's gonna need Botox
by the time she's 25.

Or a lobotomy.

- Hm...
- I can't believe
this is where we met.

- And where we met Frannie.
- Ugh! You had
to say the "F" word.

How different would college have
been without this ten-foot,

poorly-ventilated
and moldy room?

Things were
a lot easier back then.

- For us.
- Yeah, we were freshmen.

Our biggest concern
was whether or not

the dryer was
eating our socks.

- And now?
- Now...

...we both have
a lot more going on.

Boyfriends
in different houses,

schedules that
demand our attention,

plans after graduation that
are changing our priorities.

We'll have to work harder
to stay on the same page.

Well, we never had
to work at it before.

I know. I know.

So do you think
that Sunny was right?

We're only friends
because of geography?

Maybe that's
why we became friends,

but I don't think
it's why we stayed friends.

So you don't think
that we're growing apart?

I think
we're growing up.

Ash, I don't want
to live in the past.
Not with you.

- Because if we did,
we'd still be...
- In this laundry room?

Well, I can still
read your mind.

So who is Alice Munro?

You know... no clue.

But we got away with it,
that's something.

Not really. Guys,
I'm a 40-year-old man

and I just had to rely on a
bunch of guys in their twenties

to rescue me and my
16-year-old daughter.

- I'm 19.
- Way to rub it in.

- Sorry about hazing you.
- No, no. No reason to be.

You guys are great. I just don't
think I'm supposed to be here.

- But you're T-Bag.
- No, I'm just Dad,

and sometimes
Professor Hilgendorf.

No offense,
but that's depressing.

Yeah, to you, it is.
But I like my life, really.

And while it was fun
to play around,

I belong on the other
side of the fence.

- What about the rules?
- Forget about that.

College is not supposed
to be about rules.
You guys have your fun.

As a matter of fact,
have a lot of fun and I will
live vicariously through you.

Well, Tom, the table's
always open if you want
to get Monkey-Humped.

No, I think
I'm gonna retire undefeated.

Too bad you won't.

Wow.

Come on, tell me the truth.

You're gonna miss all this,
aren't you?

Yeah. I'll miss it.

But it's never
the same after you leave.

The truth is you can't go back.

So enjoy it while you can.

Sorry Tom didn't turn out
to be much of an adviser.

You know, Spitter,

he actually made a lot of sense.

- And our books are balanced.
- Great.

OK. Well, that ends that.

No, um, not quite.

You see, Grant didn't
trust you, but I did.

I told him he was wrong
to think you stole that money.
I told Trip that, too.

- What are you getting at?
- I trusted you.

I marked the envelope to prove
that you didn't steal the money.

Cal...

I needed to buy
Rebecca a present.
I was gonna pay the house back.

Forget it.
I don't even care.

This isn't an excuse,

but I've been surrounded
by money my entire life,

including here.

I guess I'm still
getting used to it.

It's like you said,

living in the straight world.

I'm sorry.

Please tell me you
didn't just compare me
listening to Lady Gaga

- to you being
a thief and a liar.
- No, that...

That's not what I meant.

Cal, I'm sorry.

I just hoped
you could understand.

I just don't think
you understand, Evan.

You gave up that trust fund up

because you didn't like what
that money was turning you into.

I'm just starting
to think the money
wasn't the problem.

- Well, you're not expelled.
- We live to party another day.

Thank you, by the way.

And...

...you're welcome.

Why is there hair in it?

Hey, that's the hair
of a champion Monkey-Humper.

Don't you think you're
giving Evan the wrong idea
by keeping that

when you don't feel
the same way he does?

Evan knew how I felt about
that stuff from the start.

And I don't want to get
so serious with him.

Or with anyone,
for that matter.

It's easier and I'm just
not that kind of person.

Why is it so hard to just keep
everything casual and fun?

Nobody moves,
nobody gets hurt.

Hey, I'm the
one angsting here.

I'm just not sure I'm ready
to graduate and leave here

and become the Hilgendorfs.

The whole idea is soul-sucking

and kind of scary.

I hear ya.
So, what about you and Casey?

I thought you didn't want
to be anywhere she isn't.

Well, if she gets into CRU law,
then it won't be an issue.
For a while.

And if she doesn't?

I don't really know.

But I can't figure
it all out today, Becks.

So I'm just gonna hang here
and enjoy the sunshine.

- Sounds like a plan to me.
- Oh, yeah.

Mm!

Sounds like
quite a laundry room.

Well, the Backstreet Boys
were already taken.

And you never
found the sock?

No, but I realized
that legal precedent

isn't all that different
from nostalgia.

The law builds on the past,
and I wouldn't be who I am

if it weren't
for that laundry room.

And if I had dated
a girl who preferred U2
to the Backstreet Boys,

I might not be divorced.
It's an interesting theory.

Interesting, as in "this girl
belongs in law school" or "this
girl belongs in a Laundromat"?

I think you know
the answer to that.

Thank you.

Thanks.