All language subtitles for Greek S03E08 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-CRUD_track3_[eng]

Previously on Greek:

You really aren't clear
on the meaning of "no."

But I'm very good with yeses.

"Yes, tomorrow night
sounds great."

I thought if the two of you
could be friends again,

then maybe we could all go back
to the way things used to be.

We can't go back, but maybe
all three of us can try

to move forward together.

Whoa!

- Get off!
- Hey, hey!

Look at those jackasses.

We should go finish
what they started.

Easy, bro, easy, bro.
Come on.

ZBZ is constantly embroiled
in some kind of turmoil,

and no one likes
a dysfunctional drama case.

I would say ZBZ
is ranked... fourth?

- Fourth?
- It's all part of the cycle.

If it really is a cycle,
then it's too late, right?

It's like fate.

As seniors, we have
to fight this cycle.

The truth is
we're not number one anymore.

We were hoping to
throw some killer mixers

and eventually
have the best rush this
campus has ever seen.

I hate Putt-Putt. And cute golf
attire is beyond even my powers.

Just keep smiling. We don't want
the sisters to figure out
how much this mixer sucks.

This mixer sucks.

I think they know.

It's 9:00am. On a Thursday.

I should be asleep.
Nicole's asleep.

I can't even flirt with
the seven Pi Sigmas who
bothered to show up

because I have
coffee breath.

They're not paying attention
to us anyway.

I remember the days when all
they wanted to hump was us.

I hate not being
number one anymore.

I thought you were going
to get us out of this,
President Ashleigh.

I know our social schedule
isn't what it was,

but things
are looking up.

And I'm working on
getting our prime table at
Dobler's back from Gamma Psi.

We lost our table?

And may I remind you we had
a pinning ceremony last week?

Heather got pinned to
Jeremy from Kappa Tau.
Hardly good news.

You sound like my parents!

You know, I heard a few sisters
talking about de-activating.

One of them
might've been me.

Fore!

But, um...

But they haven't heard
the best part!

We are having a mixer
this Saturday. At night.
With Omega Chi.

We are?!

Yeah, remember?

You and Evan are
such good friends now

and you guys were talking about
how you missed the houses mixing

and came up with the idea?
It was brilliant!

We did.
And they can't wait.

Omega Chi and ZBZ, reunited
and it feels so good.

And you decided
not to tell us until now?

That's what makes it a surprise!

It's like our reintroduction
into the social top-tier.

And I'll be in charge of making
our pledges hump-able again!

You should be thanking me.

So we have three days
to pull off our reintroduction

into the social top-tier with
a mixer that doesn't exist?

Look at the happy faces
on all the children.

They're finally not
looking at me like they
want to kill me in my sleep.

What's up, guys?

Shhh!

New drinking game.
Every time Jeremy snores...

...we drink.

It's harder than it looks.

You have to stop drinking
at the end of the snore.

Or you get penalized.

You just said "penalized."

I miss you guys.

- Where did you go?
- Oh, God...

Did you learn how to manipulate
space and time so you could
disappear without us noticing?

I knew you could do that!

I might be
a little bit buzzed.

Yeah, I've been so busy
with so much crap lately.

School, man, is so tough,
ex-girlfriend trouble...

I'm just in the mood to be
with my boys and cut loose!

You're on the moon
right now, aren't you?

You're a hologram.

You're so buzzed.

Hey, is Cappie upstairs?

- Yo, Cappie!
- Shhh!

Cappie!

It's your little bro.

Naked.

Uh... get out of here, perv.

- Evan, hey!
- Fore!

We get it.
We're ranked number four.

No need to rub it in,
Chambers.

I think he was trying
to make a golf joke.

Some people appreciate
my sense of humor.

Some people
appreciate Crocs.

We had a golf mixer
with Pi Sigma.

Oh, yes.

The old Putt-Putt
blow-off, eh?

We did the same thing
last year to Tri-Pi after
their president dumped Dino.

Exactly. Which is why we need
you guys to invite us to
a mixer this Saturday night.

- Do you guys have plans?
- You know, nothing set
in stone.

We were thinking about having
a low-key weekend.

Well, think again,
because we're giving you
a chance to mix with ZBZ!

You know, in the spirit
of reuniting old friends.

And, well, it would really mean
a lot to our house during
a rough time.

Please, please, please!

OK.

Great!
Oh, one more thing.

We kinda need you guys
to formally invite us,
tonight during dinner.

Maybe you could throw in
a little serenade?

- You don't have to...
- The girls will expect it!

Yeah, no worries. We'll do it.

- Awesome!
- OK.

- Thanks, Evan. See you tonight.
- All right.

Oh, and, uh, watch out
for those sand traps!

That wasn't funny at all.

- Thanks, Case!
- No problem.

Cap, it was an accident.

Spitter. It seems as though
you saw milady naked.

There's only one way
to restore the power balance.

Come on, drop trou.

He's right.
It's only fair.

Let's see the goods.

I'm really sorry.

Oh, my God, I'm not
at my breast right now.

- "Best?"
- Right!

And I came here to blow off
some steam with my big bro!

There's no one better to
do that with than Cappie.

You know, we're actually
on our way out to get something
to eat. You should come with.

Oh, I don't want to intrude...

No, don't worry about it.

OK. Um... I think I left
my backpack upstairs.

Well, why don't you
go get it?

OK.

Hurry up, you don't wanna
be late for our threesome.

How cute is he?!

Ha! Um, I'm on board
with the threesome,

I just didn't think it was
gonna be with Spitter.

He's so sweet and innocent.
I can't wait to corrupt him.

Wow, that's just what I thought
when I first met him.

Can you just assure me
we're not having sex
with Spitter tonight?

So, what would you say
if I told you

that Grant and I think
we're ready to tell the house?

I'd say go for it, man.

The guys love you
and the guys love Grant.

Why should that change when you
tell them you love each other?

"Like" each other.

And that's what I'm worried
about. It's change.

People don't always
react well to change.

I'm assuming that's
why you told Griffin

you joined the Treble Makers
a-capella group

when he saw you
in your pink bow-tie.

Maybe we're
over-thinking all this.

Maybe sexual orientation
and socio-economic status

aren't that big a deal in
the world. People are people.

Yeah, you know what?

This is only a big deal
if we make it a big deal.

I mean, we have the power.

So, maybe you go first?

No, you've been gay
way longer than I've
been broke. You're up first.

Uh, Evan, do you have
a lot of parking tickets?

I can't afford to. Why?

Forget to pay your bill,
Chambers?

And apparently you can't
cover a lease payment

with Dobler's
drink coupons.

And it looks like
my secret's coming out first.

Irish car bomb!

- Whoo!
- Wow!

- Your turn, Rusty.
- I'm underage.

He's not exactly good with
liquor. Hence the nickname,
"Spitter."

But he's not Spitter tonight.
He's Rowdy Rusty.

Rowdy Rusty.
All right, I love it!

You don't have to do this,
Spitter, if you don't want to.

- Go!
- Whoa!

Wow...

All right.

Oh!

You did it!
Sort of.

Oh, yeah. Good job, Spitter.

I, uh, excuse me,
Rowdy Rusty.

- Now what?
- No, I think that's quite
enough for one evening, Rowdy.

Mmm... Or...

See our waiter over there
ignoring us?

We asked for our check,
like, 30 minutes ago.

What a douche bag, right?

You want me to
say something to him?

"Excuse me, pal,
where's our check?"

- Uh...
- We're going to dine and dash.

Spitter's not gonna
dine and dash.

And as a member of the food
services industry yourself,

you should be sensitive to
the fact that this poor guy
probably works here three...

Hey!

Uh... wait up!

So I'm sure most of you guys
have figured out,
I gave up my trust fund.

It is a really personal
situation with my family

but it's nice to know my
brothers have my back...

even if I'm gonna have
to start hitting you up
for beer money from now on.

Uh, OK.
So any new business?

What's with this ZBZ mixer?

Oh. Uh, it's this Saturday...

I know all that.
But why are we going?

Aren't they all about
mixing with those
KT losers this semester?

Well, yeah, that's true,
but, come on...

And this year they kinda suck.

And it's not like
they're Gamma Psi.

And last year,
they dissed our pref invite.

I think we should go.
The girls could use our help.

They just want our help
so they can climb back up.

- Right.
- Yeah, yeah.

We're doing the mixer
because I said we are.

I'm president
and it's done.

We know you've done
half the girls
in that house, Chambers,

but that's no reason
the rest of us have
to waste a Saturday on them.

Watch your mouth, Trip.
You're way out of line.

I say we put the mixer
to a vote.

As Pledge Class President, I
would like to formally report

that we are super excited
about the Omega Chi mixer!

- Thanks for making
that happen, Ash!
- Just doing my job.

When are they officially
going to invite us?

- Any minute now, Abby!
- Great.

I hope it's any minute. Can you
ask Fisher to hold on dessert?

He's already kept them waiting
20 minutes!

They're sorority girls.
They can deal
with hunger pangs.

Fine.

Nicole, sit up straight.

Shoulders back. Boobs out.
And Heather,

unbutton your shirt a little.
It might as well be
a turtleneck.

Why do I have to learn
how to flirt? I already
have a boyfriend.

Not a good one. And this
isn't about finding a boyfriend.
This is for the sisterhood.

Saturday night we want to leave
the Omega Chis dying

for another mixer with us
as soon as possible.

OK, we're set to starve the
girls for 20 more minutes.

Now where is... Evan!

Hey, everyone,

I'm sure this man
needs no introduction,

and as for his brothers...

As for his brothers...

Actually it's just me.

Well, uh, let's just
get on with it.

Uh... Case, can I talk
to you for a second?

OK.

Evan's just shy.

Fisher! Cheesecake! Now!

What's going on?

I'm sorry, Case,
but the mixer's not
going to happen.

I really tried,
but the brothers,
they voted it down.

- What? Why?
- Well, they brought up
last year's pref,

about how you guys dissed us,

and they said ZBZ's just not
a big draw anymore.

And you're not exactly
Gamma Psi, you know?

Well, you're their president.
It's a party.

Order them to party
with a group of hot chicks.

That's just it.
Due to a weird situation that's
recently come up in the house,

some of the guys
have been questioning me.

Why would they do that?
You're Evan freaking Chambers!

Yeah, it's funny
you would say that.

Here's the deal.
I gave up my trust fund.

I didn't want
my parents
controlling my life.

I haven't spoken to them
since. I'm broke. So...

So much for Evan Chambers.

Seriously?

I know, I'm an idiot.

It's probably the biggest
mistake of my entire life.

No, it's the bravest thing
you've ever done.

I can't believe it.
I'm so proud of you.

Well... I wish
some of the brothers
reacted the same way.

But coinciding
with me not being
a "Chambers" anymore,

I seem to have lost a lot
of my influence on them.

I'm sorry, Case,
but the mixer's off.

OK... The girls took down
that cheesecake like coyotes
on road kill.

What's going on
with the mixer?

What do we tell the girls?

Their sugar high
is gonna start wearing off

and they'll be
demanding answers.

We can't say
the mixer's off.

I just keep thinking about
what Evan did.

Giving up all that money
on principle and then being
shunned by his own parents?

That must be so hard
for him. I mean,

he's always felt the weight
of the Chambers name...

I remember that
being a dilemma.

But still, to actually
give it all up like that?

I don't think
I'd be able to do that.

- Oh, my God, snap out of it!
- What?

We're supposed to be
figuring out how to
salvage the party here!

What's there to figure out?
There's nothing we can do.

We're not Gamma Psi.

What if we get Gamma Psi?!
We make the mixer a four-pack.

Us, Omega Chi, Gamma Psi,
probably Lambda Sig.

And not just any
A super-fancy
semi-formal four-pack!

Where we have champagne,
a band, twinkle lights!

- In three days?
- We have the Founders' Day
money.

But why would we even want
to party with the Gamma Psis?

They stole our table
at Dobler's.

And apparently our social life.
Besides, they're kind of weird.

It doesn't matter
if they're serial killers.
They're number one.

If we get them,
we get the guys.

It worked for
Janet Gunderson.

Your dorky friend
with the mono-brow
in seventh grade?

She befriended me
and became popular
by association.

Then I introduced her
to tweezers and she
stole my boyfriend.

See, it's perfect!
We are Janet Gunderson.

The Gamma Psis
are 12-year-old me.

And we become number one
by association.

I don't think
that's how it works.

What other options
do I have?

You're the president.

I'm so hung over
and I don't even care!

Last night was amazing.
I did things I never
thought I would do.

You're not hung over,
Spitter.

Hey, it's not Spitter
anymore, it's...

- I know. Rowdy Rusty.
- ...Rowdy Rusty!

From the small amount
of Irish car bomb foam
you managed to imbibe,

you're gassy from the
carbonation at best.

Fine. Maybe I didn't
succeed at the drinking,

- but I did do a dashing dine!
- It's "dine-and-dash."

Boys! I hate to interrupt
your girlish squabble,

but Predators of the Deep
is back on.

I've never watched so many
episodes of one TV show

since that Joan of Arcadia
marathon with my parents.

Did I say parents?
I meant my friends.

My cool friends.
And it was porn.

Hey, don't you have Art
History in ten minutes?

I was gonna head
to Women's Studies.
We can walk together.

And don't you have
a bar mitzvah
to work tonight?

I called in sick.
And you guys shouldn't be
going to class either.

The next episode
is killer whales.
You can't miss that!

Killer whales, Cap!
It's on.

Like Donkey Kong!

Jinx!

Hey! I just figured out
why you two are so perfect
for each other!

She's like the lady version
of you. Lady Cappie!

Hmm. I'd like to think of you
as the male version of me.

- Ah...
- Oh!
She's a keeper, Cap.

None of your other girlfriends
would blow off work for
Predators of the Deep.

Just don't screw it up.

Whoa! That whale just ate
that whole seal.

What was up with you
in yesterday's meeting?

Backing up
J.P. and Trip like that.

Since when did you
become so anti-KT?

I just think they're
kind of obnoxious. As do
most of our brothers.

You're clearly biased
because of "That Rusty."

"That Rusty"
is my best friend.

And Evan's been a really
good friend to me, too.

He's been through a real
tough time lately, I just...

I don't think he needs
all that crap from the house.

It wasn't personal.

Well, I'm sure it felt
that way to him.

I just feel bad.

He's been so supportive
of us coming out soon,

like we talked about.

Actually...
I've been thinking.

Things are good
the way they are.

Oh.

So sneaking around,

and coming up with excuses
why we're always together?

You don't think
that's holding us back?

I really like
our relationship how it is.

Besides, seeing the way
everyone gossips about Evan,

I really don't want
to go through that.

Hey, Dale, guess what?
I stole you
a dining hall muffin!

Hey, Cap,
what are you doing here?

Booktacular-ing.

We're reading Eat, Pray, Love
this week

and thought we'd do
a little of all three.

I'm opting to partake
in just the "eat" part.

Not that I don't
love you, Dale.

What are you doing stealing
dining hall muffins?

You know
that's frowned upon.

Don't you have a date
with Lana?

I did, but I've been
rescheduling shamelessly
on Daley here,

I really needed
to make it up to him.

Sparkling cider?

It's non-alcoholic
but the fizzies get up
your nose and it's fun.

So you're just gonna
blow her off?

It's not like she's
never flaked on me.

Our first date she kept
me waiting while she
prank-called her old boss.

- For two hours.
- Hmm.

Excuse me. I have to go
relieve some cider fizzies.

That girl is amazing
and he's flaking on her?!

He's gonna
drive her away.

Is Lana really worth
all the trouble?

Oh, my God, she's the most
amazing girl I've ever met.

For him, for Cappie.

If she's so perfect for him,
why would he blow her off?

It's obvious! He's scared
of how much that he likes her.

But you know
he'll never admit it.

I think we're gonna have to go
see Lana about this situation.

All right.

You're friends with Cappie.
You're broke.

Any other secrets
you want to reveal?

I have a job that requires me
to wear a pink bow-tie.

Stripping at the other
Gentleman's Choice?

No. No, actually that
probably pays much, much more.

- I'm a cater-waiter.
- Mmm.

I have no car,
I can't pay my house dues...

I should probably just
grovel to my parents
and get my trust fund back.

No! You can't start
doubting yourself now.

You did the right thing.
As your friend,
I will help you.

We'll figure it out.

Well, can you help me figure out

how to get these guys to
take me seriously again?

Because apparently
the only title
they care about is Chambers.

To think I actually believed
that these guys

were doing
what their president said
because they respected me.

Well, you know what?
Screw them.

Just because a few jerks...

A few is enough
to make a difference.

So you make a name for yourself
that has nothing to do
with your parents.

Or their money.
You have friends who
really care about you.

- I said coquette, not spastic.
- - OK.

- Hi, Evan.
- Hello.

Melanie, you look like
you're smuggling something.

This was on the porch!

It's from Natalie,
the Gamma Psi president!

There's a note, too!

Casey, can I please
see you in our room?

Oh, it's OK, Case.
Presidential orders.

- We'll talk more later?
- OK.

"Thank you for thinking
of Gamma Psi in regards
to this weekend's four-pack.

We regret to inform you
that we have a prior commitment.

But please consider
Gamma Psi in the future. XOXO.

Sisters in Solidarity.
Gamma Psi."

Ugh.

Ash, you have to stop.
That's your fourth cupcake.

Then stop rereading
the letter!

It's not gonna
change their answer!

Plus, I'm eating
the evidence.

There's no point
in eating the evidence.

The sisters are going
to know we're not having
a four-pack this weekend

when we don't have
a four-pack this weekend!

We've been
rejected twice.
We just have to accept it.

No, we've been rejected twice
and no one can know about it!

The whole school knows
about this four-pack!

I arranged for a photographer
to come and take pictures.

Pictures that will be
memorialized in hardback.

The yearbook, Casey!

Is Abby hiding in here?

She's late for her lesson
on how to drink seductively
from both a cup and a bottle.

Well, you'd better go
find her then,

because this party
is proceeding as planned!

I can't be the one responsible
for running this house
into the ground, Case.

You're not responsible
for running this house
into the ground.

It's the cycle,
or fate or whatever.

Girls might deactivate
if I don't do something.

This four-pack has to happen.
Please help me.

Let's make this work.
The Gamma Psis
are reasonable girls.

They're so nice
it's almost disgusting.

So if we appeal to them
woman-to-woman,
lay our cards on the table,

maybe we can get them
to change their minds.

Yeah, that sounds good.
And you could talk
to Katherine.

She's a Gamma Psi,
maybe you can play the
Panhellenic-solidarity card.

It's one thing for me
to ask Evan for a favor,

but I don't want to drag
my brand-new relationship
with Katherine into this,

especially since I'm kinda
hoping she'll give me this
Panhellenic board position.

Let's take it straight
to Natalie.

OK. I also want to know where
they got these cupcakes from.

Because they're really good.

Hey, Lana?
Hey, it's Rusty...

Seriously, Rusty?
You have to be planning this.

Hey. Dale.

Lana.

What are you guys doing here?

I know something
happened with Cappie.

I think I'm kind of
done with him.

- Jackass blew me off.
- No, wait!

'Cause that might be
my fault.

I told him
that stupid joke

about how he
shouldn't blow it

because you're
so perfect for him.

That probably
freaked him out.

I don't date guys
with issues.

You know, someone
without a college degree
shouldn't be so choosy.

Who is this?

Please... OK...

Can you give him
another chance?

This isn't exactly
a mystery, Rusty.

When a guy starts
breaking dates with you

right after
things get physical,

it means he just wanted
to hook-up.

Well, I have a wedding
between a labradoodle
and a Shih-Tzu to cater.

Sorry, Rowdy.

It's cool.

She's all right.
I mean, Sheila
had a way better rack.

Hey, so did you hear we might
be having a four-pack with
Gamma Psi this weekend?

You and Grant
gonna go together?

Uh... Yeah, I guess,
the same way we always
go together.

Pretending like we've never
seen each other naked.

Well, you know, maybe you
should just go together.

For real this time.

I mean, you're planning
on telling the brothers
at some point, right?

What is this really about?

All anyone can talk about
is how I gave up
my trust fund.

Or they're questioning
everything I do, like Trip.

Trip's still pissed off
about how hard you hazed him
during Hell Week.

I wouldn't
take it personally.

Well, maybe I would.
But what are you saying?

That Grant and I should
come out so they'll talk
about us instead?

Well, it sounds
kind of obnoxious
when you put it that way.

- Kind of.
- But since you want
to come out anyway...

- Evan?
- Yes.

I don't know
what I want to do.

But it's up to me
to figure it out, OK?

OK.

ZBZs, what are you guys
doing here?

Oh, you know, the usual:

chatting about
global politics, and, um,

a house-related
leisure issue...

We need to talk to Natalie

about the world's
most awesome four-pack!

That too. We know about
your prior commitment...

There's no prior commitment.

That is what Natalie
tells people

whom she doesn't
want to mix with.

Did she send you the
little frowny-face cupcakes?

Yes. Um, well, we...
We were just wondering

if there was a chance you
would put in a good word for us
about her changing her mind?

Oh, that's Natalie's ouevre.
I don't really do
leisure issues, so...

Good luck.

Oh, what bakery did she get
those cupcakes... from?

You liked the cupcakes?
I made them myself.

a little bit of love!

What an honor to get a visit
from my two favorite ZBZs!

Oh, uh...
The honor is all ours!

We're so bummed to hear about
your prior commitment.

Especially since it apparently
doesn't exist?

Oh, I was trying
to spare your feelings.

I was being polite.

I didn't want ZBZ
to spend all that money

when I know my girls
aren't gonna show up.

They wouldn't show up?

Our gals are pretty selective.

They're always wondering,
"What's in it for Gamma Psi?"

The political stuff
gives me a tummy-ache,
but what can you do?

You're number four.

Well, then,
I guess there's no...

There's got to be
something we can do!

Anything! Do you guys
need a favor of some kind?

Like doing our
laundry or something?
Paying our electric bill?

- No way.
- OK.

What? Really?

Yes. The electric bill.

- Ash! We can't...
- Case, I got this.

We'll pay your electric bill
until the end
of the school year.

What do you say?

What a generous offer.

And of course you will
make sure all your sisters
show up tonight?

Of course.

And we can keep
this little exchange
between us?

Of course.

Chocolate bunny?

Thank you for your service.
I salute you.

A-ha! I knew it.
I knew you loved her!

Spitter! Don't ever startle
a man in a strip club.

What if I'd been
in lap-dance position?

How'd you know I was here?

Beaver told me you were here.

Dale, this is an unclean place.
You shouldn't be here.

Hi. I have a friend of mine
I want to introduce you to.

His name is Jesus, and he pays
much greater dividends

than those dollar bills
in your underpants.

Why are you blowing Lana off?

I talked to her, and she's
ready to give up on you.

- You talked to her?
- Yes.

She had her shirt off.
OK, that doesn't matter!

I know you're in love with her
and you can't stand it

or else
you wouldn't be here.

You only come
to Gentleman's Choice
when your heart's broken.

I'm here because I want to be
around girls no more
complex than strippers,

who are really just nice girls
with bad dads. Hello.

Hey, tell me about
your father. Was he bad?

Because I have a very
good Father I'd like to
talk to you about.

This is what you do.

You did it with Casey
because you were scared

you guys
were too different.

But Lady Cappie
is never going
to give you a hard time

about the things
that make you you.

And that's why I couldn't
let you do this.

Spitter, what did you do?

The name's Rowdy.

And Rowdy takes matters
into his own hands.

She's here to give you
another chance. Hey, Lana!

Listen closely, Spitter:
I don't want another chance...

- Hey.
- Hey!

Really?
You don't like her?

♪ You should know, ah ♪

♪ You should know that ♪

♪ Kris Kros is not
having anything today ♪

♪ As we stand there
totally krossed out ♪

♪ We commence to make you
Jump, jump ♪

♪ The Mac Daddy'll make you
Jump, jump ♪

This looks amazing! Totally
A-list, very last minute.

With all these lampy light
things, I hope we're not paying
Omega Chi's electric bill, too.

I did what I had to do.

And see, the yearbook
photographer is documenting
all of it for posterity.

Oh, my God, is that
a caricaturist!?

Hi, Casey, hi, Ashleigh!

Look, I'm on the moon!

It's classy
because it's art.

And he was also half-off
with the ice sculptures.

Ice sculptures? The Founders'
Day money is supposed to last us
through next year's rush.

But that's next year. This
will get us back on top now.

Remember when I said you weren't
running this house into
the ground? I was wrong.

I'm the one everyone's
gonna blame if we start
losing sisters.

You asked me for help and then
you don't listen to my advice!

I'm the president.
I have to do what
I think is right.

I'm going to go greet
Gamma Psi's president.

OK.

So, Tim, lacrosse sounds like
an interesting sport.

What position
do you play?

Mid-fielder.

That's awesome.
See you around.

What was that?
Do you have something
against mid-fielders?

You said leave them
wanting more.
And I have a boyfriend!

This is how you leave them
wanting more. Watch.

Wow, you really wear
a suit. Most guys can't.

What are you doing?

Sorry! Um, I was
teaching the pledges
how to flirt.

That was
just a demonstration.

Oh.

Great job.

Come on, Heather, let's go
find another guy for you.

I don't know what's taking
them so long at the bar.

- I'm gonna go ask.
- No, wait, wait...

Look how talented
these girls are.

And limber.

- What are they, cats?
- Sure.

If you wanted to break up
with her, why didn't you
just tell her?

Hello, I was doing
the immature guy thing

where I blow her off and
wait for her to get the hint.

It's worked for men
for thousands of years,

because their friends
don't usually intervene
and screw it all up.

You sure you're not
just driving her away

because you love her
too much?

No, I think
you love her too much.

I barely know her.

But there is something.

I think I want someone
a little less flaky.

But she's just like you.

You see yourself
reflected in her,

and don't like
what you see.
Are you growing up?

You shut your damn mouth!

Cappie, if I can get
rowdy, then you can...

Hey.

Lana, hey.
You guys having fun?

- Yes.
- No.

So far ten girls
are coming with me

to Bible study next week.

Or I just became
their new pimp.

- Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
- - Sure.

Look, Cappie,
I'm not a dumbass.

I know you
don't want me here.

No. Hey, Lana, wait.
OK, I'm sorry.

Cap, can you just
tell her the truth?

Hey, no touching
the girls.

Excuse me...
Viper.

This is a misunderstanding.
She's not a girl.

Not a girl?
You're saying strippers
aren't real people?

I got news for you,
these women are
somebody's daughters.

Or mothers. Heck, I got
a grandmother here.

You better think
about that, pipsqueak.

The name's Rowdy Rusty.

Uh, Rus, I wouldn't.
He's really...

And I'm not scared
of your pierced things
and your tattoos.

Katherine? You're leaving?

My policy on parties is
basically a five-minute
walk-through,

but I rather enjoyed the
caricaturist and thought
he captured my likeness,

so I stayed
a little bit longer.

OK. Good night.

Hey, Chambers, you're lucky
ZBZ paid for an open bar.

Hey, Trip, you're lucky
you ever got into Omega Chi
in the first place.

Looks like you need a drink
as badly as I do.

Oh, I am the talk of the party.

I didn't know
how good I had it

when people were nice to me
because of my last name.

I don't even think
I'd be Omega Chi president

if I weren't a Chambers.

You have to give
yourself more credit.

And if it makes you
feel any better,

ZBZ is going to be
more broke than you are
by the end of this party.

What was Ashleigh
thinking?

She was thinking
about how it feels
being a president

who's losing control
of her house.

Take it from me, Case,
it can make you do
some really crazy things.

But it's the responsibility
of the president
to have a cool head

and to do what's best
for the house.

Yeah, but you're forgetting
how it feels to have
that much responsibility.

Especially in a crisis when
it's your ass on the line.

I guess I'm still trying to
figure out how to be the
president's best friend.

- Well...
- Mmm.

- Cheers to that.
- Cheers to that.

I just love caricatures,
don't you?

Oh, my God, I totally
love caricatures!

I knew it was
a good idea!

Uh, Ash, can I talk
with you for a minute?

Not right now.

Natalie and I were just
talking about how much
we love caricatures.

Yes. But you two talk.
We're leaving now anyway.

- Leaving?
- But it's 10:30.

We said we'd come,
not that we'd stay.

Thanks again for paying
our electric bill!

Oops! That was loud.

You paid the Gamma Psis
to come to this party?

Um...

This is pathetic.

I knew we shouldn't
have gotten involved
with this party.

- Come on, guys.
- Yeah, let's hit it.

Nice job.

Should we take off?
This is kind of a disaster.

Oh. So you're on Trip's side?

It's cool. We can stay.

Hey. I may not have money
anymore, Trip, but I am
still your president.

You may not be for long.

You're turning Omega Chi
into a joke.

First by being dumb enough
to give away your trust fund,
and now this slag-fest.

Oh!

Come here.

Well, I guess
it can't get any worse.

Smile for the yearbook.

Or...

Yes, Rebecca?

What the hell were you thinking?

- You kissed my boyfriend!
- That is not
gonna work anymore.

We're really screwed.

Ashleigh, how could you let us
be humiliated like this?

I know it looks bad...

Forget number four,
we'll be lucky if we're
top ten after this.

And since you spent all
our money on this stupid party,

we have no way of
getting back up.

Give me one good reason
why all of us pledges

shouldn't de-pledge
right now, Ashleigh.

I...

I can't.

How can we have any faith in you
as our president?

Because she didn't know
anything about it.

I did it.
It's my fault.

I panicked and I offered to
pay Gamma Psi's electric bill.

Ashleigh didn't
even know about it.

- Case...
- No, it's true.

She's just covering for me,
because she's a good friend.

That's not true.

Ashleigh is the best
president we've ever had.

We need to rally
behind her, and move on.

So you slipped on
a wet dollar bill and fell.

You're still Rowdy Rusty,
standing up to Viper like that.

Yeah. And I got up
after I fell!

Yeah, but then
you fell down again.

Why was that
dollar bill wet?

Hey, have you thought about
pledging the J.C. house?

Let me tell you about him.

Hey, if I can stand up
to a guy named Viper,

you can break up with Lana.

Maturely.

It's not gonna kill you.

Viper didn't kill me!

Jesus knows how to party.

Dude makes his own wine.

Come on.
Let's get you cleaned up.

I guess I should explain why
I've been blowing you off.

Whatever. We were
just hanging out.

Are we still, or not?

Um...

I guess not.

I thought this was
what I wanted,

but I want, um, I want
someone... different.

All you college guys
are the same.

Hook up with
a hot townie for a while

before you realize
you just can't handle it.

Something like that.

You OK?

Why do you care
if I'm OK?

I'm the jerk that tried to
mess with your relationship

to benefit my presidency.

- Sorry.
- It's all right.

I know you're feeling
a lot of pressure.

Maybe I should just resign
before Trip starts his coup.

Don't give that jackass
what he wants.

There's plenty of other guys in
the house that have your back.

- Like me.
- Thanks, man.

And please know that
when you do decide

to tell the house about Grant,
I've got your back too.

I'm not sure that
I'm going to be telling
the house anytime soon.

- What do you mean?
- I mean I'm starting to wonder
if he's the right guy for me.

- Pizza? I'm buying.
- Yeah.

- Set 'em up. Cool.
- Yeah, yeah...

One, two, three, go.

Ooh!

It really does
make your nose tingle.

I think I'm sticking with
sparkling cider for a while.

Rowdy Rusty's retiring.

He was too easily influenced by
hot naked ladies anyway.

And he made me behave
like a grown-up more than
I'm comfortable with.

I can't handle Rowdy Rusty.

Let's just give
the nicknames a rest.

OK, so Cappie,
now that you're acting
all mature...

Shut your damn mouth...
again.

- OK, slightly more mature.
- Thank you.

Now will you tell me? Why did
you go to Gentleman's Choice?

Um... I like the
lukewarm taco meat.

Come on.

Don't read into it,
Spitter.

You only go there when you're
thinking about a girl.

Last time it was...

Um...

Oh, no. I think I see
where this is headed.

Don't
read into it, Dale.

Come on, let's just
do another shot.

Ready?

One, two, three.

That was the longest
night of my life.

They kept us up
talking about
the state of the house

until four in the morning.

Girls talk a lot.
So, should we get up?

I'm scared to
leave this room.

I'm just gonna resign.

There's no reason
you should take the fall

for me being
a terrible president.

Ash, you can't resign.

Don't say it. Don't say that
I shouldn't resign because
I'm a great president.

I wasn't going to say that
you're a great president.

I was going to say
that you can't resign

because that would only lead
to further instability.

Which we cannot have.
We'd be playing right
into Gamma Psi's hands.

You're right.

And Gamma Psi seemed so nice.

With their cupcakes
and their bunny mascot.

Bunnies look cute, then
they bite you with their
big sharp bunny teeth.

And they sleep where they poop.

You can't trust a bunny.

So what are we gonna do?

You won't mind
taking my advice?

Are you kidding?

Let's discuss the facts.

Gamma Psi targeting us for
humiliation is a good thing.

They wouldn't need to destroy
us if they didn't still
think of us as a threat.

We're still in the game.

We're still in the game!

So let's go start playing.

I'm gonna eat a frowny-face
cupcake for breakfast.