All language subtitles for Greek S03E04 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-CRUD_track3_[eng]

Previously on Greek:

We'll see what we can do to get
your O-Chem grades back up.

Even if I get "A's" in
my other honors classes,

I'm still gonna drop below
the required 3.5 cum.

My "D" is
officially a "C".

- Wait, that's it?
- It's good enough for now.

You're a
good kisser.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are we doing?

I didn't kiss Evan at the
End of the World party.

- I kissed Fisher.
- What?

I was drunk. And I
screwed up big time.

When someone
cheats on me, it's over.

Grant and I kissed. If
anyone from the house saw him,

he's screwed, 'cause he
didn't want to come out yet.

We, at Pan-Hellenic, are
deducting Blue Ribbon points

from sororities
whose sisters

choose to participate
in the Undie Run.

But it's a 60-year-old
tradition

that fosters
school spirit and unity.

Moving on...

Nice work saving
the Undie Run.

Well, some people
didn't think so.

So Pan-Hellenic scholarship
applications are due at the end
of the month. Moving on...

Tomorrow we start our
annual Dry Weekend, a chance
for CRU's Greek system

to prove it can actually
go 48 hours without alcohol.

- This is always so lame.
- Excuse me?

- Is she
looking at me?
- Mm-hm.

I understand it might
be difficult to
muster the enthusiasm

for this event you had
for running around
in your underwear,

but do you have
a comment, ZBZ?

Uh... I just said
I think...

...Dry Weekend is
a little ineffective.

Houses can't have parties
with alcohol so we...

They... They end up
at a packed Dobler's

or drinking in some
smelly fraternity basement.

That's not gonna happen. There
won't be underground partying.

IFC and Pan-Hellenic are doing
sober patrols of all the houses.

And any house found in
violation faces social
suspension for one month.

Great, now it's gonna be
lame and alcohol free.

I'm sorry, we're in a small
room. Why do you think
I can't hear you?

Uh... Um...

It just seems like all
you're doing is telling
people what they can't do.

If the whole point of Dry
Weekend is to show people they
can have fun without alcohol,

why not give them something they
can do? Something that's fun.

Like?

Me? Oh, OK. Well...

I guess we could do a party,
a progressive party.

Where each sorority has a
different sober activity.

Like... a drunk-driving
simulator. Or root beer pong.

And karaoke!
Everyone loves karaoke!

OK. Well, since you have
such a good take on it...

...you're in charge
of Dry Weekend.

Me? OK.

Moving on...

Oh, OK, so you combine
silicon tetrachloride,
diphenylmercury and...

Crap, what is it?

What about absinthe?

Absinthe isn't an
organometallic compound.

But it could be the
perfect cocktail for this
year's Dry Weekend.

It's very hip right now.

But Dry Weekend is supposed
to be alcohol-free, right?

Technically, but for the
Kappa Taus' underground
Wet Weekend party,

I'm reading about
the "green fairy."

Do you really think
it causes facial tics?

Oh, whatever.

Why are you
giving me this?

It's yours. Your mails
still come to the house.

I moved out months ago!

- Yeah, there's a bunch of it.
- Hey! It's The Anchor.

Your nickname's Spitter
because you spit on a girl.

What does Anchor
even mean?

Maybe it means
"news anchor?"

Because I'm always up on what's
going on in polymer science?

Hey, excuse me. You called
Spitter "Anchor." If I may,
what is the derivation?

Oh, it's because he got such a
low grade on his O-Chem midterm,

he's holding down the curve
like an anchor. Get it?

Yeah, I get it.

That's my first experience
with nerd-on-nerd hazing.

I still prefer Spitter.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, yay,
you're here! OK.

So, I was just making our
escape plan from Dry Weekend.

I have movies, pedicures and,
to honor the occasion,
an in-town bar crawl.

- Ash...
- The bar crawl is
especially important,

because that is where
I'm going to meet a
new boy who isn't Fisher.

I hate to burst
your new boy bubble,

but Pan-Hellenic's enforcing
Dry Weekend this year.

Each sorority has to host
a sober party tomorrow night,
including ZBZ.

What? Whose dumb
idea was that?

Uh, I don't know,
just some girl...

Are you done
with that, Ash?

I am.

He has been trying
to do that all day!

What?
Make eye contact?

Yes! And I
can't avoid him.

I don't want to see him, hear
him, or smell him ever again.

He smells like cupcakes and man.

Speaking of
cupcakes and man,

since we're not going to
have alcohol at the party,

we have to have killer food,
which means we'll probably
need Fisher to work tomorrow.

Nooo! Ugh!

Stupid Dry Weekend!

Knock knock! Can I come in?

Ooh, fancy wrapping paper.
Who's it for?

Um... It's for my
roommate's birthday.

- Is he a girl?
- OK, what do you want?

Can't I just come over
to hang out without having
an ulterior motive?

OK, you have to get
Ashleigh to forgive me.

I've apologized, groveled,

told her I liked those silly
arm warmer things she wears.
Nothing's worked.

You kissed
her boyfriend.

All right? And if you're
feeling a little bit guilty,

well, then maybe
you should be.

Guilt! That's what it is.

Oh, sorry. Hi.

- Is this Grant's room?
- Yeah.

Perfect, I'm here to surprise
him for his birthday!

- Have you seen him?
- Are you his sister?

Whitney!

Um, what are you
doing here?

Surprise!

Close family.

We having a garage sale
for the Lord?

Uh, no. No tithing today.

Just, uh, putting some of
these things in storage,

you know, until me and God
work some of our issues out.

I don't really need Nana's
crucifixion linens around.

Or my Precious Moments
baby angels.

They're so judgy.

Hey, have you heard
anyone call me "Anchor?"

I only said it twice.
It was behind your back.

But that was it, OK?
I swear.

Not to God,
of course.

This is all because
of stupid O-Chem.

I've been busting my butt trying
to make up for this midterm

and now I have to deal
with my reputation?

What more can I do?

You know, uh, try being known
for something other than grades.

Maybe do an outside project.
I'm thinking about doing one.

That's a great idea.

I've been tinkering
with eco-polymers.

There you go. All you need
is a faculty sponsor.

There's only one professor
I know well enough to ask.

- What do you want, Cartwright?
- A minute of your time?

You have exactly one
before my weekend begins.

Since I started here at CRU,
I've had this intense desire
to study...

Oh, another book signing? They
expect me to spend my free time

at some stupid party
to kiss Larsen's ass

because he
wrote a book?

I personally hate books.
And people who write them.

Makes sense,
given your grades.

Which was exactly why I was
thinking you might consider

sponsoring this idea...

I don't
sponsor projects.

I find them to be a waste
of my time and expertise.

The thing is, I'm really trying
to make a name for myself
in this department.

You mean,
besides "Anchor?"

- You know about that?
- I believe I started it.

And now, it's the weekend.

Saw your girlfriend,
Grant.

- Wow, she's smokin'!
- Yeah.

Oh, yeah, who wouldn't
want to tap that, right?

I'm sorry I didn't
tell you about Whitney.

She and I have been dating
since high school.

I'm obviously
gonna end things,

but I really wanted
to do it in person.

Oh, well, she's here now.

Hey guys!
I hope you don't mind.

I put some stuff up
in your closet. It's huge.

You could fit, like,
a person in there.

You're staying here?

Don't worry. Grant and I
won't do anything naughty...

...until you're asleep.

What's up?

Jeez, Ash, if you vibe
that guy any harder,
you might get pregnant.

Tonight is my last chance
to meet a new hot guy

before I'm trapped in the house
with my old hot guy. Sober.

- Casey.
- Hey, Evan.

When did you two
get so friendly?

We're not friendly. We just
have the greeting down.

Trust me, anything longer
than an elevator ride
would be totally awkward.

Ay... To Dry Weekend!

And...
Cheers to you...
And to weekends... Dry ones.

Awkward like that?

Um, Cappie, I hope
you guys aren't

planning any
stealth parties.

Pan-Hellenic and IFC
are patrolling this year.

Not to worry. My brothers and I
are amazing at hiding liquor.

Like right now, I may
or may not have a vodka
bottle down my pants.

I'm sure I can handle
whoever they send over.

They're sending me.

What? You have to patrol?

Nice! A cop
on the inside...

...who knows all your
best hiding places.

Under the stairs,
the tool shed,

and that secret closet
off your room where we...

...talked.

Thanks for the
warning. Adios.

I can't believe
you're ditching me.

I'm pretending
you're the lemon.

Bitter's not pretty, Ash.

Who's that?

It's Katherine. She was gonna
text me who I'm
patrolling with from IFC.

Is it a cute boy?
And does he have any
non-cheater friends for me?

It's a boy all right.

- That looks really great,
you guys.
- Thanks.

- Here you are.
- Thanks.

It is pretty impressive
that you were able

to put this all together
on such short notice, ZBZ.

What can I say?
I'm awesome.

And humble.

Uh, there's just
one little hiccup.

Um... Which is kinda funny,
because it's Dry Weekend.

Anyway, um, I was wondering if
there was someone else
I could patrol with tonight.

I'd prefer not to go
with Evan Chambers.

Oh, because you guys
used to date?

And it didn't
end well.

Bribes, power and...

My point is, it might
be a little awkward.

- Wow.
- I know, right?

What is this, eighth grade?
Way to be powerful, Casey.

I mean, I was thinking, with all
your good ideas on Dry Weekend,

you might even be
Pan-Hellenic Board material.

There's a spot
on the board?

Janette dropped out to focus
on school, imagine that.

I mean, if you can't even
handle something as simple

as riding in a golf cart
with an ex,

I think I'm gonna have to find
someone who can. Moving on...

No, don't move on! I can handle
it. I can totally handle it.

Yes? Yes!

Good.

Yeah, I can.

No!

I know, Beav.
It's hard to understand.

The Greek Council could've at
least had the decency
to give us a heads up,

so maybe I could
get a nice buzz on
before the patrols started.

That's weird. My Nana usually
sends me money for my birthday.

- Times are tough.
- She must not love you
anymore.

Regardless, we can't
afford being on social
suspension again.

So this weekend,
the Kappa Tau house
will be closed for business.

One weekend
sober, big deal.

The rest of my
college career known as
"The Anchor," bigger deal.

But you're Spitter.

I've already logged
a complaint.

So you're just gonna
throw in the towel?

What else can I do?
Hastings is the only professor
I have a relationship with.

As with all relationships,
Spitter, it's a numbers game.

Wade, how many girls
smacked you last weekend

before one would
go home with you?

My cheek went numb
after the first dozen,

but then I found a transfer
who didn't know better.

See? Just find a high
concentration of
professors to hit on.

Sure, you might get
slapped by 99 of them,

but all you need is that
100th professor to sleep
with you...

You know, metaphorically.

Is there a Dobler's
for teachers?

- Where do smart people
hang out?
- Computer stores!

- Ethnic restaurants!
- The moon?

Dr. Larsen's
book signing!

There's gonna be
tons of professors.

There's gotta be
one that'll sponsor me.

And I'll go
for moral support.

Oh, and the open bar.

Thanks, Cappie, but I
don't think I need...

Open bar.

Hey, uh,
is Grant around?

He's down the hall
taking a shower.

I'm just gonna
come back.

Actually, can I talk
to you for a second?

Um, things seem kinda weird
between me and Grant.

Oh, how terrible.

And I think it's
because of this.

The card says
it's from "C". Who's "C"?

Is Grant cheating on me?

No, uh...

No, the "C" is, uh...
It's me.

Oh!
Calvin!

Of course! I just assumed
from the beautiful wrapping

that it was
from a girl!

Should've used
a gift bag.

Oh! We're all going to Dobler's
for Grant's birthday.

You should come.
Oh, and bring a date!

Is there someone special
in your life?

Um... Kinda.

Do I know them?

Kinda.

- Oh, look at this.
- Hey.

Cap, to what do I
owe the pleasure?

You know, Spitter's career,
the open bar...

Perhaps a little...
canoodling.

- Yeah.
- I need your help
meeting a professor.

It's a done deal, man.
I'm so dialed in here.

Gonna find you
a match made in Heaven.

Not that I believe
in that anymore.

What up, Dr. Giddings?

Maybe you can
introduce me to him.

No, it's a waste of time.
He'll tell you he wants
to work with you,

then when it gets serious,
he bails. He's kind of
a project tease.

Hey, what about her?

No, Dr. Alpert's saving
herself until she gets tenure.

What about her?

Uh... She's a student.
She's irrelevant.

Oh.

Larsen!
What about Dr. Larsen?

The man of the hour?
Come on, it's an impossible get.

I've seen him make
National Science Grant winners
cry like little girls.

Anyway, I'm gonna
hit the head.

When I get back we're gonna
find you somebody, OK?

- Larsen's the one.
- Didn't you hear Dale?

He's an impossible get.
Stick to the plan
and play the numbers.

But if I can land a big fish
like Larsen, people will
take me seriously.

I won't be
The Anchor anymore.

Ahh. Foregoing the others
to get the "hot girl."

It's bold, it's risky,
and I like it.

I'm going in.

There you go.

Hi, excuse me, Dr. Larsen?

I'm Rusty Cartwright.

- I have this idea...
- Hey, The Anchor's here!

"To The Anchor...
To engineer is human."

"The Anchor?"
That's an odd moniker.

Uh...

I come from a long
line of seamen.

That came out wrong.

No surprise.

No rager at the
Psi Phi Pi house.

Remember, we actually did
this patrolling thing once
at the Omega Chi house?

We really don't need
to chitchat, Case.

Um, especially about the past.
Let's just get through this.

Apparently we should
stick to elevators.

- What?
- Nothing. Brownie?

- You guys are all good.
- Great.

We can start our
Star Trek movie marathon.

Live long and prospect!

So disrespectful.

Oh, hey...

Tell Ashleigh
what she's missing!

OK, thanks to our burnout
brother Nitrous,

we have a treat that will
delight all your senses.

I think you'll appreciate my
double entendre when I say,
"These brownies are dope."

Now, beam me up!

Then my team and I realized
that by polarizing diodes,

we could control the
movement of electrons
in a low-pressure space.

Is that right? My team and I
are very close to perfecting

a two-story
beer bong, so...

That's... fascinating.

Would you excuse me?
I think I see Dale.

It's a weird night.

How'd it go with Larsen?

I blew it.
Maybe we should go.

Or, we can stop
ignoring the obvious.

There's something
we both need. A wingman.

I'm listening.

I don't speak science
and you've got no mojo.

Well, I've got
plenty of mojo,

and you've got plenty of...
you know, science talk.

I could be
your translator!

And I can be
your teacher greaser.

By the time I'm done
with Larsen, he's gonna
name a star after you.

♪ And that star'll
be called Rusty ♪♪

- Right.
- Excuse me.

Beaver? What are
you doing here?

Being science-y.
Play it cool.

Uh, two chardonnays,
please? Extra ice.

- Here you go, sir.
- Thank you.

OK, now let's
figure this out.

How about over here?

Studying on a
Saturday night?

I'd rather not
hang out in my room.

Still freaked out about your
roommate kissing his sister?

I'd just rather
not talk about it.

- There's something
to talk about?
- No.

How fortunate I'm here.

Are you upset
because you like Grant?

How do you know?

No one uses
embossed wrapping paper

unless they want to get
in someone's pants.

Definitely should've
used a gift bag.

OK, look, I am gonna tell you
something as a test of your
trustworthiness.

If you pass, maybe I will
help you with Ashleigh.

You can trust me.

So Grant and I...

- ...are dating.
- Grant's gay?

And... he still
has a girlfriend.

I mean, why didn't
he tell me?

And why hasn't he
come out to her yet?

Calvin, sometimes it takes
people a long time to come out.

Was it that easy
for you?

Yeah, summer after sophomore
year of high school,

I was working
at Express for Men...

And that's how
everybody knew?

No.

Sorry... continue.

And I told some friends
that I worked with.

People close to me.

And yeah, it took a while,
but you gotta start somewhere.

I don't know, maybe your
girlfriend should be
at the top of the list.

Or maybe you should just
let Grant do this his own way.

Hmm.

Can't believe Rebecca
Logan is telling me

to be more respectful
of people's feelings.

Be sure to mention this
to Ashleigh when you
tell her to forgive me.

What are you
doing tonight?

Sundae bar's almost ready.

I was really hoping you'd
find another hasher tonight.

Yeah, I get it,
you don't want me here.

But everybody I know split town
because of the Dry Weekend,

so you're stuck with me.

No, my point is this is
a social event. With guys.

And I'm a girl...

...without a boyfriend.

Yeah, don't worry, Ash.
I'm not gonna stand in your way.

OK, good.

Now, see? This is
good clean fun.

Whoa. I feel kind of sick.

But not... sick.

Must have been that
Red Asphalt screening
at the Gamma Psi house.

Hey, let's just finish
checking here and, um...

...and then
go on our way.

This party clearly sucks,

so I'm gonna get the ball
rolling with some karaoke.

♪ Hold on, little girl ♪

♪ Show me what
he's done to you ♪

♪ Stand up, little girl ♪

♪ A broken heart
can't be that bad ♪

♪ When it's through
it's through ♪

♪ Fate will twist... ♪

Yay! Karaoke!

Karaoke.

Kar-a-o-ke. That's...

That's a fun word to say.

♪ Deep inside, I hope... ♪

Is it hot in here?

I love music!

I wish I had some maracas.

That's a fun
word to say, too.

Maracas.

It's like a furnace.

Did you ever notice how many
cats are in this house?

Oh, no, no, I hate cats!
I hate 'em.

They freak me out!

They're everywhere. On the
shelves, on throw pillows...

Oh. Fake cats.

Do you think cats put us
on their pillows?

You guys are here!

These drunk simulation
goggles aren't working.

Is there, like,
an on/off switch?

Whoa, this is... Whoa.

Whoa!

- Whoa!
- This is awesome.

Let's go see what
the kitchen looks like!

- OK.
- This way.

I guess they do work.

- Hey, Hilary.
- Hey, Anchor.

This is my friend.

He helped create the
first synthetic polymers

that use hydrogen bonding

to reversibly fold themselves
into nanoparticles.

You're David Wong?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Uh... I was adopted.

By two gay dudes.
From China.

I'd love to hear about
how you knew nucleic acids

were capable of performing
such ordered folding.

Hah. Uh, or...
We could talk about you.

- OK.
- But first, let me
get you a glass of wine.

Something to dull
the senses before we dive
into my folding stuff.

- OK.
- OK.

What are you doing?
You were in.

I know. Always leave 'em
wanting more.

Besides, you helped me,
now it's my turn. Thank you.

You're welcome.

- Dr. Wade.
- Dr. Cappie.

Hi. Do you have any
bigger glasses?

Dr. Larsen, I couldn't help
but notice you were dry.
Another Pinot?

Well, thank you.

David Wong. And this
is Rusty Cartwright.

The seaman?

Among other things.

Rusty's one of CRU's
brightest young minds.

And between you and me,
you'd be missing out
on a tremendous opportunity

if you didn't hear
about his amazing...
science thingy.

Oh, Dr. Larsen, I was hoping
you might be interested in
sponsoring a project of mine.

Well, I'm sure you have a
wonderful idea, but I've
already committed myself

to sponsoring
another student.

Um, come over here
a minute.

- Yes, sir?
- Do you gentlemen
know Dale Kettlewell?

Ready? Go!

- Mmm.
- Mmm. Oh!

Perfect combo!
Sweet, salt...

Cheese!

Oh. Sorry.

You guys are gonna
love those...

So, are you having
a good time?

Cupcakes?
They're good. Mmm.

There you go, have a cupcake.
Ashleigh? Cupcake?

I said I wouldn't
stand in your way.

I didn't say anything
about these guys.

Excuse us for
a second, please.

OK, since Casey's back,
I think we can handle the rest
of the night from here.

You really think Casey
can handle this?

Uh, yeah, no offense to the
hashers of the world,

but I think Casey can
put pretzels in a bowl.

That's pretty impressive,
considering she's totally high.

- I'm high?
- That's what it is!

Oh, no! I'm supposed to be
keeping people sober.

Katherine gave me
a clipboard! Is this bad?

Right, Fisher. They were
put on sober party patrol,

in charge of the whole Greek
system, and they decided to
chuck it all to get high!

Ashleigh, trust me. They sat
under that table for ten minutes
pretending to be shoes.

That's ridiculous.
Casey doesn't get high.

Would you tell him
you're not...

I'm gonna go look for them.

♪ With love we'll find a way ♪

♪ Just give it time ♪

♪ Round and round ♪

Oh, Dr. Giddings.
You're such a caution!

- What's up?
- I thought Larsen was an
"impossible get."

It just happened, OK?
We were talking

and found ourselves bonding
over our mutual lack of faith.

One thing led to another...

Between you and me,
I think he's only agnostic.

Yeah, you know, I think I like
the God-fearing Dale better.

You totally
screwed me over.

Hey, hey, hey.
Now, Spitter, come on.

What's one of the tenets
of a Kappa Tau friendship?

Don't ever let a conquest come
between you and a friend.

I'm sorry.
I'm happy for you.

I just wish I had the
opportunity to pitch
my idea to Larsen.

Why can't he
sponsor you both?

I... I don't know, it would kind
of pull focus from my project.

Come on. You don't need
this as badly as I do.

Though I'm not down with JC,
I still have this...

...weird desire to do
the right thing.

All right. I guess it would
be OK if you gave it a shot.

Thanks, man.
I won't forget this.

Hey. You need
a wingman, Spitter?

No. This time,
I'm flying solo.

Wow.

I couldn't find
them downstairs.

- They're not up here, either.
- Maybe they went outside.

No, they wouldn't
be outside!

The one time Casey got high,
she was terrified of trees.

You know what?
You can just go.

- I'll find her.
- I'm not gonna leave you
when your friend's missing.

Look, I know you think
I'm a lot of things,

but I'm not someone who
bails when there's a problem.

OK? I'll go check
the pantry again.

Katherine will never
find us in here.

Relax. Try lavender.

Oh, that is calming.

And one of my favorites,
piña colada.

Oh, I want to taste it.

No, don't. It's my job to keep
you from eating beauty products.

I just got sad.

I know. I wish we had
real piña coladas, too.

Stupid Dry Weekend.

No. I used to have
so much fun with you.

Before you cheated on me
and hit Rusty with a
pledge paddle

and paid off a Lambda Sig
and dated Frannie.

I know, right?

You know, I was a little
surprised to see you tonight.

I thought you'd
try to get out of it.

I wouldn't... I did.

Yeah, I guess I left
quite an impression.

I think I've been
such a jerk

because whenever I'm
around you it just reminds me

of all the bad crap
I did to you.

Do you ever wish we could
go back to freshman year?

You, me and Cappie
hanging in the dorms.

Eating ramen...
That was so good!

You two having contests on
who could grow a goatee faster?

Cappie! Hairy bastard.

I hardly ever
see him anymore

and you... You two
don't even talk at all.

I talked to him. At the
End Of The World party.

You... You talked to Cappie?
What about?

You.

He was on his way
to see you.

I told him I didn't think
it was such a good idea.

I said you guys
had been there.

And it didn't
work out then, so...

...what would be
different now?

I really wasn't trying
to mess you guys up.

I was just being honest.

You know what? If he wanted
to come, he would have.

That's it! I'm trying
the piña colada!

No, don't! Don't!
I did it once!

- Was it delicious?
- It was nasty! So nasty!

But you can smell it. Here.

Excuse me...
Hey, Dr. Larsen.

I know you've already chosen
Dale, but I'd never be able
to live with myself

if I left this party without
telling you my idea. Please.

You know, that kind of
determination is what
got me on Charlie Rose.

Go on.

It's inspired by
environmental factors

and how we're
creating new land masses
with all our waste.

I think there's a way to
create eco-polymers from
recycled biodegradables.

You mean like turning carbon
dioxide into synthetic material?

Exactly! There's a method to use
certain recycled materials

in lighter, stronger
and cheaper ways.

- I'm impressed.
- Really?

But I only work with students
who excel academically.

And since I'd never heard
of you until this evening,

you must not fall
into that category.

But I can offer you a position
assisting Mr. Kettlewell
on his project.

Wait a minute, before you
give me an answer,

I think it's only fair
that you know:

He's an atheist.

Isn't this perfect?

The four of us on a double date
for my baby's birthday.

Last year for
Calvin's birthday

we stayed at this cute
little B & B on Canyon Lake.

Remember how romantic
it was, honey?

Oh, you guys are
such a cute couple.

- The cutest!
- The cutest!

Ooh, you know what
would be perfect right now?

Isn't it perfect enough?

- Presents!
- No, no, no!

Uh, I mean, this is
the kind of present

that should be opened only
when the time is right.

Why?
What'd we get him?

It's his birthday.
What time could be more right?

Once you open it,
you can't take it back.

And I wouldn't want you to have
to open it here, uh, now,

just because I
gave it to you.

Why don't I just
open it later?

Oh, don't be silly.
Open it!

OK, fine, I'll
open it for you.

I'm gay! And... And I have
inappropriate feelings

for my straight roommate and
this gift is proof of that.

You're what?!

No wonder you never
kiss me with tongue!
How long have you been gay?

Enough!

Um... Would you two mind
giving Whitney and I some time?

Grant, you don't have to...

Please.

You've been really
great these last couple days.

It's time to be honest.

Honest about what?

Let's, uh... Let's go.

We're leaving? But it's
just starting to get good.

- Come on.
- That's the problem
with our relationship.

We never do
anything fun!

That's why I
don't date girls.

Whoo! OK! I'm going to take a
little break, but I'll be back.

Don't even think about it.

Casey and Evan
must've left.

Uh, if you want, I can stay
until she gets back.

Or I could drive around
and look for them.

OK! No more.

You don't get to be the good
guy while I sit around
being the bitter bitch.

It's not fair. Fisher, I'm
starting to feel sorry for you.

But then that feeling
goes away and I want to
punch you really hard.

Then punch me, please.

No, that's not gonna
make me feel any better.

Ow!

I was right. Doesn't
make me feel any better.

What would? I'm just trying to
make you happy. But everything I
try seems to make it worse.

Because it does.
It keeps reminding me

of what a great guy
I thought you were.

Ash, I can still
be that guy.

Tell me what you want.
I don't know what you
want me to do.

- You want me to quit?
- I don't know. Maybe?

OK. Then I quit.

- Wait!
- Hello?

- Katherine!
- Where's Casey Cartwright?

The ZBZ Casey Cartwright?

I'm right here!

We totally got this.

Hi!

Dude! Be cool! Be cool.

Where have
you guys been?

Uh, where haven't
we been?

We talked about our lives,
uh, childhood...

- ...time travel.
- I'm talking about tonight.

You only went to
five houses.

- Oh, yeah.
- We had issues with the
karaoke machine!

So, Casey Cartwright
to the rescue.

She's like our
sober superhero.

Casey, I thought you were gonna
take this more seriously.

The whole point of tonight
was to do the patrols and make
sure everyone stayed sober.

But it's clear that what's most
important to you is having fun.

Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Look, we may have gotten a
little... side-tracked tonight,

sure, but Casey is a great
addition to Pan-Hellenic.

First of all,
she loves it. Right?

Oh, yeah, the binders, the
meetings, the giant copy machine

that makes those
cool pamphlets.

- How could you not love it?
- Right.

We may not have made it
to all the houses,

but this is the only Dry Weekend
that hasn't totally sucked.

That's all because of Casey.

You're lucky to have her.

Thanks, Evan.

She may be afraid of trees,
but when push comes to shove,

she doesn't let you
drink the shampoo.

No matter how good it smells.

Thanks, Evan.

- Are they stoned?
- Yeah.

Nice work getting Hilary's
number. You gonna call her?

I don't know. She was cute, but
for the first time in my life,

I actually felt a little
dumb around a girl.

You're not dumb.

And that's not fair for her
to make you feel that way.

What's she judging
you on, anyway?

One conversation?
One bad grade on a midterm?

Whoa, Spitter, calm down.

"No one can make you
feel inferior without
your permission."

Eleanor Roosevelt.

It's actually "without your
consent," but you're right.

Oh. Well, the good news is
you got in with Dr. Larsen.

Glad you got
what you wanted.

Yeah. I guess.

Did you see the way Katherine
left to go bust the Psi Phi Pis?

She went so fast,
she blurred like a cartoon.

Fisher quit tonight.

Oh. Um, is that... good?

I don't know.

I thought it was
what I wanted.

But if it is, why
do I feel so crappy?

Oh, Ash.

I miss him.

Do you think you could
trust him again?

I think I want to try.

But I drew a line in the sand.
Cheating is a deal-breaker.

What does that
say about me?

Well, it says you're a human
being that understands life
isn't always black and white.

Deciding to forgive someone
can be a sign of strength.

Like you forgiving Evan?

Something like that.

So, how'd it go?

I don't see any blood,
so that's gotta be good.

Whitney took it better
than I expected.

She said she knew something
was up when I started
shopping at Express For Men.

Look, I just hope I didn't
force you to come out
before you were ready.

No, I'm glad this happened.

I just feel bad I
pulled you into all this.

It wasn't fair.
I'm sorry.

Oh...

Happy birthday.

I really love it.

You got my check?

We're looking for a new hasher.
If you know of anyone.

Someone who works hard,
shows up on time,

has his own transportation.
Like, a motorcycle.

I know a guy.

Class M license
and everything.

Is he trustworthy?

Absolutely. In fact if you
give him a chance,

I'm sure he'll
prove it to you.

OK then. He's hired.

Really?

Yeah. But it's only
probationary.

'Cause you really screwed up.

And I'm not used to
giving second chances.

I know. And you
won't regret it.

I hope not.

Cartwright!

I understand you turned down
an opportunity to work
with Dr. Larsen.

- Yeah.
- I'm intrigued.

But it could just mean
you're stupid.

I'd rather take a chance
working on my own project,

even if they call me
"Anchor" until I graduate.

At least I won't be getting in
line to suck up to Larsen.

So what, he was on
Charlie Rose?

I don't want flash,
I want substance.

Stop trying to sweet talk me,
Cartwright. I'll do it.

- Do what?
- Sponsor you.

But... I thought you
don't do those things.

Normally, I don't, but I
actually think your ideas

about eco-polymers are not
the worst thing in the world.

I never even
told you my ideas.

I'm not deaf. I've heard you
yammer on all year long.

I just pretend not to be
listening so as not to
encourage you.

Does this mean we're a team?

I'm already starting
to regret it. Go.