All language subtitles for Greek S02E20 it 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-CRUD_track3_[eng]

Previously on Greek:

Why do you always
have to go to extremes?

First it was taunting Casey
and then breaking Rusty's nose.

And then, rubbing a townie
in Frannie's face.

- You're leaving
- It's just one month.

- I love you.
- I love you.

I'm with Max.

Why can't you find
someone else?

No other girl in the
world compares to you.

- It's old habits.
- Old habits like...

having a great time together.
What does that tell you?

It tells me that
we can't be friends.

See you around, Case.

I'm sorry for
the douche move.

I knew you wanted her first
and I made my move anyway.

Last night, under the
ceiling of the Sistine Chapel

I fell for you.

Hey Calvin. So... what do you
think about this one?

For dinner with Jordan
or Desert Storm?

Crap.

Why are you sweating
this date?

You two've been together
for like a week already.

I'm sure she knows by now
you can't dress yourself.

This is different.
This isn't just hanging out.

This is a real date.

- No.
- At a restaurant.

With reservations.

I even borrowed Casey's car.
Hey, is this still stylish?

Was it ever?

She just got out of a
relationship with Andy,

who dresses like a pop star.

And now she's dating me.
So I gotta step it up.

Ah, the crucial first
real date. Always awkward.

You know, I usually take
the band-aid approach.

Rip the damn thing off,
let the scab heal,

and move on
to the next one.

It's gonna be intimate.
Candlelit. Amazing.

And scab-free.

And if everything goes well,
you can stay at Jordan's

and I can sleep
in your room tonight.

Let's not get ahead
of ourselves.

I thought things quieted down

since Griffin and
his girlfriend broke up.

They did. But Griffin's
getting over his heartbreak

with a steady rotation
of Tri-Pis.

You have no idea how much
those girls love dirty talk.

Now instead of
living in a porno,

it's like I'm listening to
the director's audio commentary.

Well, if you need it, Dale's at
a barn-raising this weekend

trying to convert some Amish
people, so his bed's open.

Yeah, the futon's OK.

Hey, that one's not bad.

Really? Not bad, as in:

"I'm so happy this guy is my
amazing new boyfriend", not bad?

- Exactly.
- Thanks. It's Dale's.

Really shows it off, right?

Um...

You might want
to wear a jacket.

You know, I have to say,

as weird as it is to be the one
who's not going out tonight,

watching the "getting ready"
routine from this point of view
is quite interesting.

Where's my sculpting gel?
Jenny, you're a fricking klepto!

And a little scary.

You know you love it.

You sure you don't want to come
out with me and Fisher?

We're gonna go see some movie
called 9 1/2 Weeks at the Titan.

And be the third wheel
to a soft-core porn
trip to the movies?

Thanks, but not my
style, Ash.

Bye, Jessicas!
Don't drink too much.

- Bye.
- OK.

OK, are you sure?

Cause I hate the thought of you
spending another night alone.

No way. Since Max's been gone,
I've gotten so much done.

Cleaning, organizing.

I'm thinking about
taking up an instrument.

Besides, Max is gonna
call me any minute

and then it's going to be
two hours of catching-up talk,
followed by

gross-when-it's-other-people
but-cute-when-it's-you phone
smooching.

Melinda, Hilary.
Remember, sex isn't love!

Right.

- All right, if you say so.
- Oh! Bye!

Oh!

Well that sucks. "OK. Love you."

Hey, Case! Don't you just love
long, scalding hot showers,

- they're so invigorating!
- Totally.

So, Betsy, what are you
up to tonight?

I'm just going out to dinner
with Vince. What about you?

Oh, I don't know.

I guess I might just
hang out at the house.

Watch TV or something.

Really? Do they still have
television on Friday nights?

I think so.

Um. Do you want to join us?

OK!

- Yeah, how're you doing?
- Good.

Wow, Rusty. This is a
really nice restaurant.

I know, they have reservations
and everything.

I told you our first date
was going to be special.

I thought you meant we'd
sneak wine coolers into
a movie or something.

- May I help you?
- Um, yes.

Reservation for two, please.

Under Cartwright, Russell.

Uh, I'm sorry, I'm not seeing
anything here, Mr. Russell.

No, no, it's under Cartwright.
Russell's my first name.

Then why'd you say it second?

I was, um... just being fancy.

We're preparing your table now,
Mr. Cartwright, Russell.

Miss? Can you make sure
it is your finest table?

It's the only table
we have left.

Wonderful.

Rusty, this is so sweet.
Thank you.

It's just you and me,
and the romantic ambiance...

Thank you.

... and my sister.

Hey, isn't that
one of our pledges?

So hot, man. So hot.

Cal, you're missing
quite the story in there.

Griff's Tri-Pi broke
out a leather riding crop.

Ah, the riding crop.
I remember it well.

It was after the role playing,
but before the toe sucking.

Good times.

I don't know why he
wants to be a dermatologist

because he obviously has
such a jump start on gynecology.

Stop by around 3:00
this morning and ask him.

I'm sure we'll be up.

You know, I gotta run right now,
but listen, maybe later

we'll reopen that roommate
request you'd asked about.

Yeah, Ev. That'd be great.

OK. Well,
hang in there, man.

Mind if I crash your study spot?

Oh yeah, Grant.
Pull up a chair.

That is, if you don't mind
studying in the middle of
a bachelor party.

It must get tedious for you,

to listen to those hook up
stories from all the brothers.

Whatever. It's like watching
an episode of Entourage.

Except cheaper.
And actually watchable.

But you don't feel isolated?

Well, sometimes, but it's
a cross I have to bear

being the only
gay guy at Omega Chi.

Not necessarily...

Marco?! Oh, I so knew that
Men's Fitness subscription

had nothing to do
with his flabby calves.

No. Not Marco.

Pierre? I thought he
was just really French.

- You?
- There it is.

Uh... Does anyone else
in the house know?

No, just you. I've told
a few friends from back home.

but I'm just not ready
to announce it to the world yet.

Wow. Well,
that's great, man.

Uh... I don't know
what to say.

Welcome to gay.

Thanks. I hope I'm ready.

- Who's your favorite singer?
- Britney.

- Movie?
- Hairspray?

- Fashion designer?
- Um...

Too slow. Thanks for playing.

No, but two out of three
on your GaySATs? You'll be fine.

It's so crowded in here.

I called for these reservations
a couple of hours

after our Art
History midterm.

That's great. I love it.

I'm so glad that...

Sorry! Nothing to see there.

Please...
enjoy your... night.

So, uh, Bets, how long have
you guys been together now?

Six months last Tuesday!

That's great.
I'm proud of you two.

It must make not drinking
a lot easier

when you have a partner who's
also an alco... not drinking.

Vince had to give
his chip back.

I said I was sorry.

He went to a
CRU game last week

and ran into his old
friend, Mr. Vodka.

But it's fine.
It's fine, really!

It's fine.

Would you look
at all these salads.

You know what's a funny word?
Radicchio.

Well, everybody makes mistakes.

See?! She gets it.
Why can't you?

Radicchio is a funny word.

Let's not
talk about it, OK?

It's called Anonymous
for a reason.

You didn't have a problem
blabbing to my mom about it.

I never said anything
about you being drunk.

She asked where you were and I
said, "Asleep in the bushes."

Hey, you guys, let's order.

Let me start with our specials.

We have a Penne ala Vodka.

Mmm, that sounds good.

You are never gonna change!

- I gotta... Yeah.
- Go.

So... can I start you off
with an appetizer?

OK.

Well, that was bad.

It's OK, Casey.
It wasn't your fault.

No, they just left.
They were my ride.

Oh, well, we can
give you a ride.

Really? That's so sweet.

But we haven't ordered yet.
It might be awhile.

That's OK, neither have I.

Have you seen how many salads
they have on the menu?

I can't decide! Hey, maybe we
could order a few different ones

and then we can all share?

Alice, right? You were in my
Econ class last semester.

Evan. It's been a while.

- Kha'y.
- Kha'y.

It's good to see you.

- Amphoras!
- Kha'y!

I'm pleased to say
that the Alumni and I

have been impressed
with each and every one of...

...you.

Tonight we give you your
final task before we leave you

to make of the Society what you
will. It is a Rite of Passage.

- It is a task of critic...
- Uh, Grand Master Bowman?

Mr. Cappie, does this question
pertain to the Amphora Society?

Yes.

Is it relevant to our
centuries-old tradition,

and not just something
about a society mascot,

or if Joshua Jackson
and/or Paul Walker

will be speaking
to the group?

Yes, sir. The first one.
The centuries-old tradition one.

What's your question?

Thank you very much, sir.
I was wondering...

Is there a secret
dry cleaner for these robes?

Just because, you know, I don't
really wanna get that out there

in the... in the general public.

Plus, they do such a good job
there at the... cleaners.

So, I was wondering, did...
if you... know... of a place?

You are the most...

...accomplished,
and promising students at CRU...

Believe me, if I could shoot
myself a quizzical look,

I would right now.

... but tomorrow night,
we will ask you to tell us about

the people behind
those impressive resumes

by performing the traditional
Amphora Emotional Purge.

In an effort to strip away
the psychological masks

and safeguards that would
prevent your fellow Amphoras

from knowing your true selves,
you will stand before us and
reveal everything.

- Naked party.
- Your disappointments,

your mistakes,
your embarrassments,

your worst secrets

and your most agonizing
emotional heartaches.

Be prepared. We'll see you then.

Well, it sounds like we're about
to get to know each other
really fast.

I guess it comes
with a secret society.

Know what else comes
with a secret society? Me.

Hi, I'm Cappie. Don't tell
anybody. It's a secret.

If I would've known there was
gonna be a chaperone, I'd have
suggested roller skating.

For future reference,
you should know

I'm wicked at skee-ball
and ass at air hockey.

No, um, despite everything,
I still had fun.

- Really?
- Yeah. I was with you.

You're so great.

Oh! Oh!

I'm so sorry! I slipped.

Please. Go back to... you know.

Oh, my god.

See you tomorrow.

I'm not sure
Jordan liked the movie.

You couldn't have just taken
a cab home from the restaurant?

But this is my car.

It was the worst
first date ever.

Eh, first dates
are always terrible.

I usually treat them
like a band-aid and...

Rip them off.
Yeah, I know. I get it.

Let's just go.

You know,
it's still pretty early.

You want to go bowling
or something?

Are you being serious
right now?

- Dobler's?
- Let's go.

Are you mad at me or something?

Oh my God, have you seen
this movie 9 1/2 Weeks?

OK, so there's this scene
where the mom from 8 Mile
strips to this song...

Ah! I think I've just reached
my threshold. Sorry, Ash,

I can't stomach any more
straight sex stories.

Oh, right.
Griffin. Sorry.

So tell me about your night.

Uh, you know,
nothing too exciting.

Uh... hung out at the house,
studied a little bit,

and a brother secretly
came out to me...

Was it Marco?!
Oh my God,

'cause he's my pick in our "Next
to Come Out at Omega Chi" pool.

His nails are nicer
than mine.

I'm not telling you.
You're the one who outed me.

And every time you out
an Omega Chi to his house,

a fairy loses its wings.

No! Come on, you have to
tell me. I learned my lesson.

- Nope.
- Tell me please.

- Nope.
- Tell me, I'm dying.

- All right, fine.
- OK.

- It's not Marco.
- Mm-Hmm.

- It's Grant.
- What?!

- Yeah.
- It's always the hot ones.

So did anything happen
after he told you?

What? Because we're both gay,
we have to hook up?

No. Because Grant's awesome.
And...

You guys would make
the cutest couple.

Well, Grant does have
a few of the...

OK, all the qualities I look for
in a prospective boyfriend.

You can't have gay sex
where you eat.

Then don't screw around
in the kitchen.

Not gonna happen. He hasn't come
out to the rest of the house.

Why not? Omega Chi
is fine with you being gay.

Yeah, one gay.
I mean, two of us hooking up?

That's when they have to
start worrying about

having next year's Rush
underneath a rainbow banner.

Oh, stop making excuses.

Fisher and I were worried about
how ZBZ would handle our
relationship.

But we came out to everyone
and now everything's great.

Yeah, This isn't really
the same thing.

Fine, don't go after the hot guy
you have tons in common with.

Your loss. And his.

- Hi!
- Hey, Case.

You want me to call
Jordan over?

You can ruin
breakfast for us, too.

OK, so maybe your first date
wasn't the best date ever,

but from where I was sitting
it looked pretty romantic.

And where you were sitting
was very, very close.

You can't be mad at me.

No, I love having my sister
go on dates with me.

It's not that big of a deal!

Case, remember when Charlie
Adams took you to see
Planet of the Apes

with Mark Wahlberg and I
begged Mom to make you take me

because I wanted
to see it so badly?

No! It's not the same...

Yes. The only thing different,

is that you didn't get yourself
sick on Sno-Caps and Mr. Pibb.

I'm so sorry, Rusty.

It's fine.

Well, you've got to let me
make it up to you.

How about a fun
brother-sister mall day?

We could have lunch, shop,

I can help you pick out some new
shirts that are a little more...

...of the same because
your shirts are so handsome!

What do you say?

I gotta meet Jordan
for coffee in a little bit

and I've got stuff
to do at the house all day.

Oh. OK.

What about Sunday?

Um, yeah, maybe.

What about brunch?

- Great! Sounds like a plan.
- Great. I'll call you.

"I'll call you." Great, brunch.

Alice in Wonderland.

- Cappie, hi.
- Hello.

You ready for tonight?

Have you taken full inventory
of your scarred psyche?

I just had a conference call
with all my therapists,

even the one
from when I was five.

And apparently, I used to
cheat at Candyland!

- Wow.
- Kinda damaging.

- What's going on, guys?
- Evan, hi!

Cappie and I were discussing
tonight's Emotional Purge.

Ha, yeah, that's funny...

but listen, I don't think
the three of us should be

standing around like
this in public.

The Amphoras have a big presence
in the Defense Department.

A missile could just, you
know... hit us at... any moment.

Just 'cause... Just...

So, Evan, have you thought about
what you're gonna say tonight?

I'm not sure if I trust
everyone in the group

with my deepest,
darkest secrets, so...

We're all feeling that.
I'm sure you'll be great.

And I'm officially late
for student government.

but I'll see
you guys later tonight!

- All right.
- OK.

- You not find me trustworthy?
- You find that surprising?

What makes you think I'm gonna
purge secrets to Evan Chambers?

Why do you feel the need
to call me by my full name
every time we talk?

I like it. It makes you sound
like a comic book villain.

So why don't you trust me,
Evan Chambers?

You just apologized for
cutting in on Casey,

now you're doing
the same thing with Alice.

- Is that trustworthy?
- Stop crying, Evita.

Alice and I were talking, not
picking out window treatments.

And second, you did not
see her before me.

I seem to recall my hood
being pulled off first.

You're unbelievable,
you know that?

You saw us and had to swoop in.
It's like a compulsion.

Your face is like a compulsion.

That doesn't even make sense.

Your face
doesn't make any sense.

Stop acting like a child.

Is someone projecting
his insecurities on to me?

Oh, please. I have no problem
competing with you for Alice.

She obviously prefers someone
with a little ambition.

You know, like everyone else
in the Society except for you.

First I'm not trustworthy and
now I'm the runt of the Society?

Evan Chambers
you dastardly menace!

You've got me
questioning everything!

Rusty totally blew me off.

I thought he
asked you to brunch?

Yeah, "brunch". That's like
Cartwright family code for:

"I don't want to deal
with you right now".

- Are you going to be OK, Case?
- Uh-huh.

Uh-huh, as in "yes,"
or uh-huh, as in,

"keep asking me questions
until you figure out what's
bothering me"?

When did this happen?

I've become the Rusty
and he's become the Casey?

I think you're
just lonely, Case.

Which is what happens when your
boyfriend runs off to England

for, like, ever, trying to
harness the sun's whatever

for spacey stuff.

Long distance is hard.
Remember me with Travis?

I was out of my mind. I even
joined the Curling team,

until I realized it had
nothing to do with hair.

You guys did long distance
for years.

Max's been gone
for three weeks.

Stop it!
And you're not Rusty.

You have much, much
daintier features than him!

- Except his hands.
- You know what?

You're right. I'm not Rusty.
I have lots of friends.

I'm the Pledge Educator,
I have, like, 20 friends

I'm supposed to be
hanging out with right now.

- It's like, my job.
- Exactly!

Now go force those Pledges
to spend the night with you.

I didn't mean it like that.

- Hi.
- Hi!

You're in a good mood.
I was worried.

Why would you worry?

You seemed a little flustered
at the end of our date.

Are you kidding? I always have
my sister and her angry friends
crash my first dates.

It's called lowering
your expectations.

You'll see on our second date
how much it pays off.

OK, well, now that I know your
secret, you're really gonna have
to wow me.

Well, it's not
that original, but

there's a bunch of bands playing
at the Union tonight. Wanna go?

- I'd love to, but I can't.
- What? Why?

Casey just sent a text
to all the pledges.

She's calling a mandatory
game night at the house.

Come on...

Calvin!

I think I've found a solution
to your roommate problem.

You castrated Griffin?

That probably would've been
easier than finding someone

willing to live with him, but
no. I found you a new room.

Seriously? How?

First I talked to Trip and
convinced him since they're both
Econ majors,

it made sense for him
to move in with Benny.

Now, Marco's had his eye
on Roosevelt's single.

He won't shut up about how
he needs more closet space.

The man has more shoes
than a Foot Locker outlet.

So I talked Roosevelt into
moving in with Clyde, because,

you know, they have the same
water polo schedule.

I didn't know that.
But, OK.

Which left me with Clyde's
roommate Aiden.

Who as it turns out, not only
can sleep through anything,

but is obsessed with porn.
It was a win-win.

And so, I'd like to present
to you, Calvin Owens,

your sanctuary
of sex-free bliss...

It doesn't smell like wet rubber
and candle wax!

Uh, yeah... anyway,
sorry it took so long.

The house is a much happier
place with you around.

Evan, this is incredible.
I owe you big time.

Hey, what are you doing tonight?

Are you thinking wet rubber
and candle wax?

Thanks anyway, I got this thing
I gotta go do. But, rain check.

Wait a minute. If I'm living in
Trip's old room, that means my
roommate is...

Hey roomie!

Grant! We're roommates.

How... unexpected.

We need to talk.

OK, but be quick. I'm setting
up for a pledge lock-in.

We're playing charades, and then
a Hungry Hungry Hippos marathon.

- You're doing it again.
- Doing what?

Ruining my date!

I was supposed to
take Jordan out tonight

to make up for
last night's debacle

and you're ruining it
with your lock-in.

You've got to let her
out of it.

But attendance is mandatory.

If I let Jordan out,
I'd have to let everyone out.

So you could just reschedule
the lock-in for another night...

Or you could just have your date
another night, right?

Case, you owe me
for ruining the last one!

I didn't intentionally ruin it.

Don't you have anything better
to do with your time?

Sorry, Rus,
it's already planned.

We've ripped up all the paper
for charades and everything.

To cancel would be like slapping
the rainforest in the face.

So you get your fun Saturday
night and I get nothing?

It's not about you, Rusty.

I need this lock-in
for the pledges.

You're a smart, creative guy.
I'm sure if you think about it,

you'll be able to figure out
something you can do tonight.

- Hey girls. Yay.
- Hey, we're ready.

Alice, good to see you,
as always.

You look robe-tastic.

Thanks, Cappie.

"Robe-tastic."
Clever.

Thank you, Evan. Chambers.

- Amphoras!
- Kha'y!

Kha'y!

It's time for
the purge to begin.

Take your seats and remember:

These walls are sacred.
Do not hold back.

First up is Alice.

Um... So, I guess
I'll start with my childhood.

I grew up on a farm
in rural Pennsylvania.

We always had tons of animals
around because my mom thought

that it would teach us
about responsibility.

My first pet was a gerbil
I named Miffy.

And I used to love
to play this game where

I'd just spin her around.

I called it Swing The Gerbil.

But one day,
I lost control and...

Well I... I can still
hear the crunch.

Sorry.

I also had a pet mouse
I named Elphaba

who I took everywhere
with me in my back pocket.

But unfortunately,
my mom also thought

having me do my own laundry
would teach me responsibility

and... well,
Elphaba couldn't really swim.

And since I was having such bad
luck with smaller animals,

my mother thought that she'd
bring home something bigger.

And that's when
she brought home Toto.

God, I hope Toto
was a horse.

- I loved that cat.
- Oh, no.

He was just this big,
sweet, warm ball of fur

and I would kiss him and hug him
and just squeeze him so tight...

Trying to show him
how much I loved him.

But, uh... one day I...

...guess I loved him too much.

Hair... no.

Uh... Baby...
Thing with, uh...

A face?

Oh! Oh! The Mirror
Has Two Faces!

Yes!

What is that?

Whoever's up for a cupcake
break, follow me to the kitchen!

- What are you doing here?
- I'm breaking you out!

I heard the bands at
the Union are the best ever

I don't want you
to miss them.

- I don't know, Rus.
- Oh, come on.

You can't seriously be
turning me down for charades.

- No, OK.
- Put it down, come on.

Jordan, we can't have cupcakes
until we're all together!

Traci, not yet.
Not until we're all together.

What are you so smiley about?

Me? I'm just happy
to be with you.

Yeah, me too.

Although I do wish
I could see the look

on Casey's face
right now.

She's not going to be
that mad, right?

No.

Not at you, anyway.

You know, I'm beginning to think
this date is less about me

and more about your sister.

No, no, no, this date is all
about you. It's about us.

Getting you away from Casey
is just a bonus.

Rusty, you know I have
three big brothers, right?

As much as I love them and miss
them, we fight all the time.

About everything. We even fight
over the remote for the TV.

But it's not really about
the remote,

it's just about the fighting,
because that's what we do.

And I'm kind of starting to feel
like yours and Casey's remote.

You're so not the remote.

You're more like the...
whole entertainment center.

Fine...

Evan. This purge has really
got me thinking about us.

And...

You totally saw Alice first.
You should go out with her.

- Oh, well.. no, no...
- Yeah. Well...

No, because listen,
I was out of line.

I would much rather
see you with her than me.

It's funny. We start
talking again and...

...we end up fighting over
the first pet-killing lunatic
we meet.

It's like it's
programmed in our DNA.

- What's with that?
- I don't know.

Women always seem to
complicate things.

Just the really
interesting ones.

Amphoras!
Please take your seats.

- Kha'y!
- And... Oh, Kha'y.

And we'll continue
with Mr. Cappie.

Well, ready to spill your guts
in a roomful of strangers?

- I will if you will.
- You're on.

OK, um...

Um...

OK, so when I was three, um...

To never again waking up
to soft feminine moaning

followed by the sound of
Griffin grunting "checkmate."

Yay! You got a new roommate.

Evan came through for me,
I couldn't believe it.

There may be hope for him
after all.

- So who's the lucky guy?
- Grant.

Grant?! Hot Grant? Gay Grant
that you supposedly can't date

because of all the drama it
might cause at Omega Chi?

Yeah. All three.
Too bad we didn't get a quad.

Wow.

I guess it's a matter of time
before you get your man hump on.

OK, first of all:
"Man hump?" No.

And secondly, just because
we're two gay guys

doesn't automatically mean
we can't control ourselves.

Oh, please, come on.
It's human nature.

Two attractive people,
at their sexual peak,

living in such close proximity?
I guarantee if Casey were a guy,

she'd wake up in the middle of
the night with a sheet,

two comforters, and 123 pounds
of me on top of her...

Uh... him...
hypothetical male Casey.

OK, anyways. Grant and I
are not like that.

And you know what? It's
going to be really refreshing

to have a roommate
who understands me.

At the very least, we'll have
the cleanest room in the house.

You know, besides Marco.

Yes. This is the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.

Hey, guys.

Cal, I'm gonna head up. Night.

A beautiful friendship

based on doing it.

- Night, Rus.
- Bye.

Jordan! There you are!
And look who you're with.

Yeah... After that last charade,

I came out to get some fresh air
and ran into Rusty.

Huh. What a wonderful
coincidence.

- See you tomorrow.
- Bye.

I can't believe you deliberately
jeopardized my pledge night.

Sometimes people screw up other
people's nights. It happens.

I didn't screw up your night
on purpose.

But what about tonight, when I
pointed out that you were

and you did nothing?
Was that on purpose?

I'm sorry, Rusty. I guess I'm
not as good at being alone
as you are, OK?

- I don't like it.
- I didn't like it either!

So, now you're not alone
and I am.

I guess everything's right
in the world again.

Fellow Amphoras,

I want to congratulate you all
on your complete honesty.

I have the utmost confidence
that we are leaving

the Amphora Society in
worthy and capable hands.

Good luck to you all.

You both were
unbelievable tonight.

- Oh, thanks, Alice.
- Thanks, Alice.

Cappie, the way you opened up
about your rootless childhood?

And Evan, the battle you feel
between your family
and yourself?

You both are
so tortured!

I just want to hug you.

- No! Stop that.
- You don't need to...

Cappie's way more
tortured than I am.

Evan, you're way more tortured.

You don't even know
if you like your parents.

Yes, that's right.
You know, you are right.

I'm going to give them a call
and talk it out right now.

- That's... Good night.
- What? No. You...

I feel like I have so much more
inside me that I want to share.

Yeah I bet you do.

Would you want to take a
long walk down by the river?

Um...

No. You know, maybe next week?

I didn't get an answer from
Dean Bowman about the dry
cleaner thing, so...

But...

But we can... oh...

If you want... OK...

- You know...
- Yeah, Mm-hmm.

- Hi.
- No more meetings for you?

Too bad. I was getting used to
your James Earl Jones
impersonation.

Well... The alumni will be
around if you need us.

You gave quite
the purge tonight.

Yeah, I purged my guts out.
Time for you to purge.

What am I doing here
with all these driven,

successful
over-achiever types?

You're here, Mr. Cappie,
because nothing teaches us more

about who we are
than seeing ourselves

in the people
we least expect.

Ah!

No, I don't get it.

Hey, Grant.

Crunches. Awesome.

Just doing my nightly
pre-bedtime crunches!

I sleep better if I work off
my nervous energy from the day!

Hey, I didn't even get a chance
to talk to you

about this roommate craziness,
it all happened so fast.

I hope you're cool
with this new situation.

I've been trying to escape Trip
and his snoring for months.

Yeah, man. I'm the coolest.
Minty fresh cool.

Why wouldn't I be?

It's just, you know,
I told you I was gay,

I didn't want you to think
I was gonna be forcing
my gayness on you.

Oh, no...
I wouldn't mind that.

I mean, if you had questions.

I would just try to answer them.

Great, because I'm
all about boundaries.

Oh, yeah.
I live for boundaries.

- Great.
- Great.

All right.

Oh, I am exhausted!

Sleepy time.

- Just gonna go to bed.
- Me too.

- After I hit the shower.
- Yeah.

Hey guys, just checking on...

- Evan!
- Evan.

- We were just going to bed...
- Sleepy time...

- ...gonna take a shower.
- Do some...

- crunches and...
- crunches.

- Have all this nervous energy.
- Nervous energy.

That's cool.

I mean, that's good 'cause...

It's important for roommates
have the same sleep schedule...

Glad you guys
are hitting it off.

- Yeah. This guy...
- Match made in heaven.

- Lovin' it.
- Just lovin' it.

Well, as you were.

You know what?
I just realized, I forgot...

I left something...
in the place where, um...

excuse me!

Stupid Casey and her stupid
lock in. She's so stupid.

Spitter? You were saying
"stupid" an awful lot there.

Just trying to figure out how
to get through the next year

without having to see
my stupid sister.

Uh-oh, conflict in the
Cartwright clan?

Paging Danny Tanner.

So ridiculous. Just because
she can't be alone,

she thinks it's fine for her to
get in the way of me and Jordan.

Do you realize how many
nights in high school

I sat alone watching
Joan of Arcadia with my Mom

while Casey went out
with all of her friends?

Joan of Arcadia was the one
with the Navy lawyers, right?

- No. That's JAG.
- JAG.

I watched that afterwards.
With my dad.

God, I missed a lot of great
television by having friends.

I mean, she knows how much
that sucked for me.

You'd think she'd be the
one person who'd understand

how important it is
for me to have a social life.

Actually, you should be
the one person who understands

how much it sucks when you feel
like you don't have one.

Well you're friends with her,
can't you just take her out to
shoot pool or something?

Sorry, buddy.
I don't think I'm the guy

she's looking
to spend time with.

God, I wish
I'd gone to M.I.T.

What the hell is that?

It's a school? In Mass...

Rusty! Oh, man.
I'm so glad to see you.

Can I borrow your keys? I need
to sleep at your place again.

Sure...

Thanks, man. See you at home.
See you, Cap!

Mm-hmm.

Are the Omega Chis
hazing actives now?

Look, before you say anything.

I'm sorry about
the impromptu pledge night.

- Casey, it...
- I know, I know.

I let my needs come before
other people's personal lives

and from now on, all pledge
events will be scheduled

- at least a week in advance.
- Casey...

OK, fine.
A month in advance.

That's gonna be hard, because I
don't have an assistant, but...

Shut up!

I'm trying to apologize.

Oh, right.

Please, go ahead.

I realized last night that maybe
the reason you're so bad at
being alone

is because you haven't
had to do it very much.

So I thought I'd
share something with you

that helped me get
through a lot of long nights.

Joan of Arcadia?
Is this the one about the Navy?

No. It has angels in it. Trust
me, it's a really good show.

- Thanks, Rusty.
- You're welcome.

I'm sorry I freaked out so much
about my date.

Before me, Jordan was dating
the star of the football team.

I have a lot to live up to.

Jordan wouldn't be with you
if she didn't already think
you were great.

Thank you.

You gonna be OK?

I miss Max.

Ashleigh's busy with
Fisher. You've got a life.

I feel like my go-to's are just
not very go-to-able right now.

But I'll be OK.

I'm actually thinking about
getting one of those little
purse dogs.

You know if you'd just told me
that the other night,

I would've gone to Dobler's with
you after you ruined my date.

Well, I probably would've taken
a cab from Sabatino's

instead of ruining your date if
you told me about your intense,

but groundless, insecurities.

Fair enough.
From now on, full disclosure.

Agreed. Anything else
you want to come clean about?

Remember that blanket
you used to have?

The one that always smelled
really funny?

You want to know why?

Maybe we don't have to
tell each other everything...

maybe we just start here
and go forward.

OK.

- I really want to tell you.
- I don't want to know.

- It's not that bad.
- Rusty!

- It's not bad.
- I don't want to know.

It's really not. You're making
it seem like it's so gross.

- It's not that bad.
- Get out of here.