All language subtitles for Greek S02E17 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-CRUD_track3_[eng]

- Previously
- Where's your car?

- I think it got stolen.
- Dude, what's going on?

- I'll call you tomorrow?
- Yeah.

- Evan...
- I don't know what I'm doing.

- You're dating Rusty's little brother.
- - Yeah.

I go to the wedding.
I keep my feelings in check.

Then I can stop worrying
about doing something stupid.

- Like tell her how you feel?
- - Exactly.

- We shouldn't be doing this.
I'm dating Andy.
- I know...

No, I have to go.

Rebecca. This is
Robin Wylie, my big sis.

Bride-to-be
has to kiss a girl.

Robin's gay.

- Maybe I could give you a call?
- I'd like that.

Are you sure you're
OK with what Max did?

What Max did was
kinda overwhelming.

I'm sorry about
you giving up Caltech.

- I didn't want to lose you.
- We're supposed to be a couple.

Travel together
down a shared path.

You're so far ahead,
I don't even see you anymore.

- What now, then?
- Slow down for a while?

- Let me catch up?
- Oh.

Wow... Dale?
Is this Comic-Con?

Funny and beautiful, huh?

No, Dr. Magda Stephanopoulos
is here.

She's a super-scientist.
Like a bipedal
Stephen Hawking in pumps.

- That's why the crowd?
- She's recruiting for an open
spot

on her project
research team at Oxford.

- Is that why you're here?
- No, it's grad students only.

- I'm doing work study
for Dr. Broom.
- Oh, Max's advisor?

So, do you know where Max is?
He's not in his office.

Dr. Broom put him in a
storage closet. Room 108.

- We call it...
- The broom closet?

That's so much better.

That way?

- Hey...
- Hey! Casey.

Wow. This is... cozy.

Yeah, it's really nice.

It's good. I've been, uh,
grading some papers on
low-grade polymers.

- Hm...
- They're good, too.

- You wanna grab lunch?
- I have to finish
grading these by tonight.

And... these
too, Mr. Tyler.

Yes, Dr. Broom.

- Hey, let me help you
beat this guy.
- Jump in, Spitter.

I'm late for a
team dinner as it is.

And we win it.
Thank you very much.

Yeah, you win a week of
toilet duty, pledge. Enjoy.

Congratulations on the
Wisconsin game Saturday.

- Thank you.
- I'll bet Jordan was really
excited.

Assuming you've seen
her since you got back.

- Yeah, I saw her last night.
- Awesome.

Yeah. I actually wanted to
ask you about that wedding?

- You do?
- Jordan... She's acting
really strange.

And kind of distant. I know
you guys went to the wedding
together.

Did anything happen that
would make her act so weird?

She...
She had the swordfish.

Stop!
Get back here!

Which is known to contain
high levels of mercury, but...

Stop running! Stop!

What the hell was that?

- I was sleeping off a big
burrito in the basement...
- Uh-huh.

A bookcase fell. I woke up.
Some Omega Chi pledge...

...tried stealing a trophy.
I chased him. Rusty... can
you make oxygen?

OK. He must have snuck in
through a basement window.

- Pledge Andylicious,
secure the windows.
- I got it.

- Stealing trophies...
So unoriginal.

Hey. What about the
door to the secret scary place?

- Anyone know about this?
- Let's see how far it goes.

- That's what she said.
- Good one.

Let's move this.

Oh...

"Property of Cyprus-Rhodes
Biology Department, 1952."

Whoa.

OK, thanks Joe. Say hi
to your mother for me.

Gentlemen, we are looking at the
fruits of Kappa Tau thievery.

We stole all this stuff?
Was that the night we drank
absinthe?

Actually, we didn't do
this. Our KT alumni did.

You see, once upon a fraternity,
this house was full of kleptos.

- That's people who steal
things.
- I know. What's an alumni?

According to Egyptian Joe,
our old brothers would steal

any campus item they could
get their sticky fingers on.

I think those are the original
hands stolen from the CRU clock
tower in 1982.

And this is the silver
protractor awarded to Psi-Phi

for their number one
GPA, ten years straight.

- Dorks.
- No way.

This guy is the
Omega Chi founder.

- We got their founder.
- Are you kidding me? Yes!

- What if that Omega Chi pledge
saw it and he tells someone?
- Good point.

- Beav?
- He didn't see anything.
Trust me.

Maybe we should come clean
anyway. If someone messed
with something of mine,

I'd rather they tell me and deal
with it straight on than hear it
from someone else.

- I'd probably thank 'em.
- Boring. I say we keep it.

- I think we should return it.
- I think my burrito gave me
gas.

While I think we all appreciate
this verbal game of wits,

I think we're ignoring
one important fact here.

I saw swords down there.

Last one
is a rotten egg!

- Let me take you on a real
date.
- Like in public?

- Just the two of us?
- Yeah...

Nice clothes...

dinner... dancing.

Although, I couldn't imagine you
any more beautiful dressed up

- than you already are.
But still...
- Um...

I think it might be too risky.

For the president of the
sorority? What are they gonna
do? Revolt?

You have no idea. I have to show
them that I, too, must play by
the rules.

What rule is that, Ash? Thou
shall not get in thy hasher's
pants?

I'm good with a
scone. I just need a napkin.

- Oh.
- Oh, thank God.

We've been stuck in
here for over an hour.

Is the tornado
drill over?

Robin's phone number?

Are you two friends
or something?

Not sure.

So, Ash? About Friday...

- Should I schedule
that special delivery?
- Um...

I think it's best if we stick
to our usual delivery schedule.

Oh.

OK.

So, how was your weekend?

Oh, hey. Um... We were at
the wedding together, remember?

Right.

I'm stupid.

Andy's my little bro, and I
never, ever should've kissed
you.

It's OK. I mean,
I kissed you back.

But the most important thing
right now is my relationship
with Andy.

He's a good guy. We have
a lot of fun together.
I need to give it a chance.

Of course you do.

- So, can we rewind and go
back to friends?
- Yes.

Absolutely. Friends again. We'll
pretend like it never happened.

Like what never happened?
That...

Listen, that noise in class?
That was just my shoe.

You know?

Real swords make the best
sound!

What was that?

Echo.

- Definitely an echo.
- No, it's the door!

Quick! Human shield!

Hey, it's the
Abercrombie lady.

We're all set on twill
shorts, but thanks.

We want our bust.
Come on. Give it up.

- "Our bust." Too easy. Pass.
- Our pledge saw it.

- What pledge?
- Our pledge who was in here.

Oh, yeah... Too bad I didn't
hit him with a paddle.

That's what we do to each
other's pledges, right?

- I know you have our
founder's bust.
- Hm...

Snooty-looking bronze dude?
Looks like he's floggin'
the dolphin?

Yes.

- Haven't seen it.
- Fine. We'll give you 24 hours
to return it,

- or we'll come and take it.
- You're welcome to try.
Not that we have it.

Nice sword.

The Archeology Department's
been missing a pair.

Oh, kinda like you.

Twenty-four hours, Cap.

- I guess that kid saw more than I thought?
- - Really, Beav?

- We need to get this stuff
outta here right now.
- He said we had 24 hours.

I'm worried about
a police raid in 24 minutes.

Chambers called the cops at the
Gatsby party and he can do it
again.

Why don't we just
give him the bust back?

- No.
- No.

I got it.

We'll sneak everything back to
its owners, so no one can prove
we had it.

- Didn't I just say that?
- Except for Omega Chi's bust,

Which we'll throw in the Cyprus
River out of childish spite.

And we'll drink
while we do it! Eh?

- Hey.
- Sorry I'm late.

Let me guess...
Cement emergency.

Cement, cement.

But there are rewarding
parts, too, right?

No, absolutely.
Of course.

- It's Weird Science.
- Weird can be fun, though.

- No...
It's Weird Science.
- Oh...

Oh, wow... Uh, let's
go to Dobler's.

Oh, but I've never
seen it on the big screen.

Max, since we've been going out,
you've watched the DVD three
times that I know of.

Do you know how many times
I've tried to make a real
woman out of a doll?

Come on... This movie is
what made me want to get
into science.

- I thought that was Kevlar?
- That's just what I tell
people.

It goes down easier
than Kelly LeBrock.

You picked our
last Friday night.

Sandwiched between
two trips to Dobler's.

- Because Dobler's is fun.
- Yeah, the first ten times.

- And how many times have
we gone to the dinosaur museum?
- Oh, come on...

How times have I waited
while you tried on clothes?

- Well... I drive us everywhere.
- Well, I gave up grad school
for you.

That... Casey,
that was a joke.

OK...
We'll go to Dobler's.

Oh, yeah.
He can bus my table any day.

- Stop that.
- Oh, yeah. So go
on a date with him.

What's the big deal?

I kinda like the sneaking
around thing, OK? Just...

Travis was the only other guy
I ever seriously dated,

and with him, I'd see him for
like a weekend and then he'd
be gone.

And... What happens if
regular dating is boring?

You're really into
this secret hook-up thing.

- Is this about Fisher?
- Oh, Becks knows.

Yeah, Calvin was
just giving me advice.

'Cause he and Heath used
to sneak around last year.

That's right. You're gay!

According to my
gentleman friends, yeah.

Hey, how did secret-dating
Cappie work?

Oh, secret sex spies was the
best. We did it in the library,
my car, your car, church...

- OK, so what happened?
- We went public and everything
fell apart.

See? Can you explain
that to Fisher?

Ash, you're never gonna
know unless you try.

- Look, my advice
is just take baby steps.
- Or... split the difference.

Go on a real date, but someplace
where no one else will recognize
you.

Hm. Oh, I know
the perfect place!

Hey, Fisher!
About that shipment...

- I'm just trying to
understand why you said it.
- I'm sorry.

I don't know where that remark
came from. Can we please move
on?

I just really hate
to see you unhappy.

I'm happy with you. I'm still in
my general field at a top-notch
university.

I have everything I need.

I saw your face when Dr. Broom
dumped those papers on your
desk.

It's the same face you get
when you talk about the
Mars Polar Lander crash.

No. She would have been fine
if they'd uploaded a software
patch...

Wait. What about that solar
panel thing Dr. Stephanopoulos
is doing?

- You know about that?
- You're the smartest guy
in your class.

- You should introduce yourself.
- It's not about being the
smartest.

Without a recommendation
from my advisor,

I won't get face-time
with Stephanopoulos.

And in case you haven't noticed,
Dr. Broom isn't exactly a fan
of mine.

But, it's worth a shot.

I'd have to move
to Oxford for a month.

Max... this is your dream.
And joking or not,

I can't live with "I gave
up grad school for you."

I'm worried we'll
never get past this.

Maybe leaving for a month
will be good for both of us.

All right. I'll try.

Now, can we go see
Weird Science?

Jeremy, this goes to the Track
and Field Building. Stay sharp.

Jeremy, wait.

Keep it down.
Like scissors.

You never finished
telling me about the wedding.

- Really?
- Jordan won't even talk
about it.

I know it's a wedding. Things
happen, so it must be something
she's embarrassed about.

Uh, she didn't do anything
she should be embarrassed about.

But, something did happen.

Look, Rus, just tell me.
All right? I'd rather break up
with her now

than keep imagining these wild
scenarios in my head. They're
driving me nuts.

She didn't do anything.

I did.

- I kissed her.
- What?

- You said things happen.
- Not with my big brother.

A kiss is
the least wildest scenario.

So, where does my big brother
and my girlfriend kissing rank?

Is it cool? Kind of OK?
All in the family?

- Let me explain...
- No. I don't want to hear it.

So stupid.

Jordan, hi, it's Rusty.
Um, you need to call me...

- I forgot my jacket.
- Bye, Uncle Jordan.

- So, how'd it go with your
advisor?
- Dr. Broom won't give me a rec.

What is his problem?

- I'm smarter than him.
- You didn't tell him that,
did you?

No. And I'm always very
polite when I correct him.

- Can you talk to
Dr. Stephanopoulos?
- Not without a recommendation.

There's a reception tonight,
and she and her team leave
tomorrow morning.

- Thank you.
- No problem.

- Why not go to the reception?
- Dr. Broom didn't want a bunch
of grad students

burying Stephanopoulos
under a mountain of résumés.

- So... you need an invitation?
- Yeah.

But, the reception is at Broom's
house. If he sees me there I'm
dead.

I was trying to save your
relationship. Andy knew you
were hiding something.

So...

Hear me out. I was trying...

Open up, Rus.
It's Uncle Jordan.

- I cannot believe you told him.
- No, hear me out.

Andy knew you were hiding
something. I was trying
to save your relationship.

Oh, so you confessed?
You confessed, Rusty?

You never confess!
Don't you watch 48 Hours?

- You deny, deny, deny!
- I'm a bad liar.

Look, I just came here
to tell you to stay out of it.

I will. I promise. I'll never
say your name around Andy again.

Even if he's with you,
I'll just say, "Hey, you."

Look... Rusty, I think you and
I together is just a bad idea.

- And maybe we shouldn't
hang out anymore.
- We can still be friends.

I think it'd be
better if we weren't.

I'm sorry.

- Hi.
- Hey, Casey, you're here.

- Hm-hmm.
- It's like you felt my pain
by psychic connection.

- Hm-hmm...
- We are a true brother
and sister.

- Actually, I was looking for
Dale. What's wrong with you?
- Um...

I kissed Jordan and now
Andy and Jordan hate me.

Wow. Way to go,
Sienna Miller.

- Did Jordan tell him?
- I told him.

- OK, that was selfish.
- Telling the truth is selfish?

When you do it to make
yourself feel better, yes.

OK, that was selfish. Now, two
of my friends hate me. So, what
do I do?

Give them space
and let them figure it out.

Andy and I are Kappa Tau. That's
a bond stronger than high carbon
steel.

I kissed Jordan. I need
to make things right.

Hey, Rus. Miss Cartwright.

- Dale, I think you have
some... lipstick.
- Hm?

Little warning would have been
nice. I was on a date with
Sheila.

Sheila, the landlady?

- What, are you trying
for a townhouse?
- No, she's my girl now.

Or, woman, I should say.
She's very mature.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

So, you volunteer in
Dr. Broom's office, right?

Yeah, I'm on a roll lately.
Personally. Professionally.

Are you going to Dr. Broom's
reception for Stephanopoulos?

Who do you think's in charge of
the guest list? And decorations.

I gotta say, even though the
Guggenheim is Frank Lloyd
Wright's most recognized work,

- My personal favorite is
Graycliff.
- That's really interesting.

You didn't call me to
talk about my major, did you?

Uh... I had an
encounter recently.

With a member
of the same sex.

Ah... a close encounter?

Yeah, and I was wondering...

When I knew I was gay?
Well, I was eight years old.

And I saw Marky Mark on TV
in his boxers. I'd always
fantasized

about being part
of the Funky Bunch.

Last weekend, I kissed
a girl. And I liked it.

- Does that make me a lesbian?
- No, it just means you can
write a crappy pop song.

I just wish there was a way
to know for sure, you know?

- Like a pregnancy test,
but for gayness.
- I'll tell you what...

I'm gonna take you someplace
where you'll be around the gays,
OK?

- And you can see how you feel.
- You will?

So, where does one
go to meet lesbians?

Well, since it's not lacrosse
season, how about Gentlemen's
Choice?

- It's ladies' night.
- OK. It's a date.

Hey, I need
to talk to you.

- Big brother to little brother.
- I'd rather not.

Booty Free. Where are we?

All accounted for. No one's
been caught and/or injured.

All right. Our mission's
almost complete.

Only a few more
items to return.

Boys? Are you all right?

- We're super.
- OK. Let's see... Wade.

I have a pair of disco balls
that belong in Gentlemen's
Choice.

I have no idea which one.
And, a gramophone.

- Did we track the owner
on that?
- Yeah. Beav's on that.

OK. And a football from
the CRU's 1964 appearance

in the
Porcelain Bowl.

Your familiarity with
the athletic department

makes you the perfect
candidate, Andylicious.

- I don't really feel like it,
Cap, if that's OK?
- Of course it's OK.

- You're still gonna do it.
- I'll go with him.
For athletic support.

Interesting.
Go with stealth.

And should you get caught...
this conversation never
happened.

All right. Wade,
let's see what we got.

I found these in the park.

- They say "Property of
Gentlemen's Choice."
- Not ours. Try the other one.

Oh, but this
one has lesbians.

Yes. And a bouncer.

Ah!

This is an interesting
choice for a first date.

But look at all the perks.
You can check out all
the eye candy.

Hm...

Oh, and they have signature gay
drinks. How about a homo-jito?

Did you think dating me was
going to be boring for some
reason?

What? No, I definitely
don't think you're boring.

- We're just going slow.
- Actually, we're not going
anywhere.

Except a lesbian bar.

When I first met you, I kinda
imagined us doing the whole
going out thing.

I imagined you naked.

You see? You're funny and
gorgeous and it would suck

just to be
your fun boy-toy.

So, I'm gonna take off.

Um...

Fisher, wait!

Ash? Don't tell me this is
your perfect place for Fisher?

Well, I thought
I could take him somewhere fun,

where there
are no Zeta Betas.

And since no one in the
house is a lesbian... Rebecca?

What are you doing here?

- I kissed Robin.
- I kissed her once, too.

Really? And didn't
it make you wonder?

Wonder what?

Oh! Oh.

Oh.

- I can't believe we're
crashing.
- You're crashing.

I'm Dale's plus-one.
We're gonna sneak you in.

Oh! Duck!

- Good to see you.
- Don't you look pretty...

- That's Stephanopoulos
with Broom.
- Oh...

OK, here's the plan.

You're gonna use your super
powers of blending into walls
to avoid Broom,

while I sell Stephanopoulos
on my super-talented boyfriend.

- Case, that sounds a little
half-baked.
- Hello?

I'm ZBZ rush chair. My
superpower is reading
women and their wardrobes

and knowing everything about
them, which tells me exactly
how to get what I want.

- Kind of like Emma Frost.
- Totally.

Now, Dr. Stephanopoulos is
wearing earth tones, so she's
down to earth.

Her Via Spiga shoes scream an
appreciation for high-quality
function over fashion.

So, she's friendly and
accessible, but no-nonsense
when it comes to her work.

- That's a good thing?
- It's perfect.

A little girl chat and then
I hit her with your résumé...

"Pick Max, he's a genius."
Done.

And why would she take
a recommendation from
an English major? No offense.

Because I'm...
Dr. Cartwright.

- Whose plan's half-baked now?
- Casey...

- Case? Shall we?
- Oh, OK, um...

You go in the back and sneak
in and I'll meet you inside.

Hey, could we not tell Sheila
about this? She gets really
possessive.

OK.

Andy, come on.
Just listen to me.

We are brothers. And brothers
work out their problems by being
honest.

If brothers were honest, they
wouldn't be screwing around with
each other's girlfriends.

You're right.
Talking is not gonna cut it.

- Do you wanna hit me?
- I'm not gonna hit you.

- Please, hit me.
- Would you stop?

You're like a can of soda in a
paint mixer. A can filled with
carbonated resentment...

Dude, would you shut up?

Run!

Oh, no!

OK... OK.

Whoa, whoa whoa!
It can't go out like that.

They said if you don't send
out some food now they're not
paying us.

Do they want their chicken
cooked? Because it's still pink.

How pink? Chicken keeps cooking
after it's off the grill, right?

Absolutely. I'm
gonna hit the head.

- Psst! Casey!
- What are you... ? You're
scuffing your slacks. Let's go.

Come on.

- So, this is what I have to look forward to?
- - Yeah.

- Isn't it awesome?
- Chicken?

Oh, you really don't
want to eat that. Sorry.

Oh! Dale's distracting Broom.
Perfect.

- I love your home, sir.
- Yes, me too, Dale.

I could talk about it all night.
Would you like to?

OK, you hide and
I'll find Stephanopoulos.

When you see me reach in my
purse for your résumé, come
quick so I can introduce you.

Got it.

- OK, hide.
- Oh...

Right now we've got the highest
molecular weight polyethylene
that's ever been synthesized...

God, I envy you. You're doing
all this ground-breaking work,

and here I am stuck
in low-grade polymers.

- I'm sorry. Dr. Magda
Stephanopoulos... ?
- Oh. Dr. Cartwright.

So, I know about
the opening on your team,

and I have a great
student for you.

Let me guess? That's his
résumé you're pulling out?

- I've heard it all before.
- Stay there.

Um... Is that Runway
Diva Extraordinaire?

The company told me it's
on back-order for two months.

They told me that, too, but
I pulled some strings and they
shipped me some free samples.

Excuse me a sec.

Why'd you wave me off?

My first read was wrong.
She doesn't just want the best,

she wants what she can't have
and she'll do anything to get
it.

- How do you know?
- She's wearing the new Runway
Diva Extraordinaire.

Miss J. can't get even that
and they named the lipstick
after him.

OK.

So kissing Robin
was pretty great, huh?

Not like it
was with Fisher.

It was to get a reaction out of
these guys. It could have been
anyone. Guy, girl, mannequin.

When I did it... it gave
me a reaction. It's crazy!

You see yourself in a certain
way and then this thing happens

that feels out of your control,
but in a good way, and you're
like, wait a minute.

- That's how I feel with Fisher.
- That's how I'd feel with
Fisher, too.

You know what?

I do have feelings
for Robin.

- And I'm gonna call her!
- Yay! I can already see you
two married.

In Connecticut
or Massachusetts.

And it's not like
she's hung up on Casey,

so that'll never come between
us like with me and Cappie.

I thought you and Cappie broke
up because you went public?

I lied. It was a much
less humiliating excuse.

But now that I'm
into girls, I don't care.

Awe, that girl
has Fisher's haircut.

Come on.

Mr. Cappie?
You can take him.

He can start his 50 hours
community service next week.

Thank you, Officer. Kids these
days... I blame video games.

GTA is the devil.

- Where's Andy?
- Coach bailed him out.
How was it with Huck?

Don't worry, I told him
I found the football

- and that I was acting
on my own.
- Good boy.

I'd hate to have
to rename you Snitcher.

Let's get outta here.

- Oh, yeah, thanks.
- Oh! Psst!

I'm OK.

- Uh, anyway, what are you
drinking there?
- White wine.

Oh, yeah. That was my Grandma's
favorite. She was an angry
drunk, though.

Oh...

I suppose you're going
to give me that résumé, now?

Actually, I was just told
I couldn't. I could get in
a lot of trouble.

- For recommending a student?
- Well, he's not any student.

It's kind of
Dr. Broom's prized mentee.

He interned at NASA, patented
a hangover cure in his free
time...

He even had a full ride to
Caltech, but Dr. Broom begged
him to stay.

- Wow, that's some student.
- I think his brain is half
bionic.

But, promise you won't say
anything to him, right?

I'm trying for tenure, and I
could get in a lot of trouble

for even talking about
Max Tyler. Oh...

- My lips are sealed.
- Thank you so much for
understanding.

- Go talk to Dr. Broom.
- What? I can't. He'll kick me
out.

- I haven't even talked to
Stephanopoulos yet!
- OK. Just go.

- Casey...
- Trust me. Go!

Oh, there's someone.

Mr. Tyler? You're not
supposed to be here.

- No, sir.
- Then, why are you?

And how did
you get in? And...

When did my
gramophone come back?

Well, when do gramophones
ever go out of style?

Mr. Tyler, your place is in the
lab where you can be utilized
and not seen.

- Now, you need to leave.
- Chicken, sir?

- Oh, take two, sir.
They're very good.
- Oh.

- I'd like to meet that student.
- Max?

- Trust me, he's not for you.
- I'll be the judge of that.

Dr. Magda Stephanopoulos...

So, some good news...
I got my car back.

Yeah, I saw. Congrats.

Hey, we're about to go on a
little mission to Kappa Tau.

- Get our bust back. Wanna come?
- You gonna bring a bat this
time?

I'm gonna bring enough guys
so that Cappie knows I mean
business.

See? You just can't do
anything for fun anymore.

You just take it
to the worst possible place.

- Come on. This is just about
getting back what's ours...
- Really?

I don't remember you buying
a keg when we went to get our
pledge photo last year.

Which proves my point.
I'm making it more fun.

Evan, it was fun. With
squirt guns and stink bombs.

Why do you always have
to go to extremes?

- Buying a keg is an extreme?
- Keg coming through...

OK, two kegs. But, I promise,
I'm not going down that path...

I've heard this, like,
20 times before. All right?

I mean, first it was taunting
Casey and then breaking Rusty's
nose.

And then, rubbing
a townie in Frannie's face.

Well...
Isolated incidents.

- OK, boys. Pound those
beers. Let's go.
- Yeah!

Casey?

You didn't get it.

- No, I got it.
- Shut up... She loves you.
I knew it!

Actually, I think the deciding
factor was... she thinks you
have a crush on me

and it'll piss you off
when I leave tomorrow.

- For a month.
- Yeah.

You're leaving.

- Yeah.
- You're really leaving.

Elias Van Patton has inhabited
our sacred home for far too
long.

But, before we show Elias to his
watery grave, has anyone seen
Wade?

No? Well...

I can't wait to see the
look on their faces... ah!

Uh... Evan, you're early.
We were just taking out
some laundry.

Do you have any
delicates you need done?

- Give us the bust or we're
taking it.
- Taking it where?

To our house, jackass.
Where are you going with it?

Well, not the Cyprus River.
Oh... Dammit did I just say
that?

If you don't like it, we
can just go right through you.

- Evan, let it go.
- No, no, it's cool.
I come prepared.

Cease and desist, gentlemen.
There'll be no melee on my
watch.

- Mr. Cappie, I believe this
belongs to you.
- Wade!

I caught him returning stolen
disco balls to a strip club
that I sometimes...

...stake out.

Well, Evan and I
were just convening

a joint search party to find
Wade, but you saved us the
trouble. Thank you.

Save it, Mr. Cappie. I packed
the beanbag gun tonight.

There's alarms going off
all over campus.

Years worth of missing
stuff returned in one night.

We are at Defcon-2, people. And
since I've caught two Kappa Taus

returning these items, I'm
thinking it's not a coincidence.

I only need one witness
to confirm this,

and then I will be going
to town on your ass.

That's what he said.

- Beaver, not now.
- What happens then?

Search and seizure
of the property.

Indefinite shutdown of Kappa
Tau, followed by disciplinary
hearings,

where I show up in my dress
blues and see to it that every
Kappa Tau is expelled.

Possession of stolen
items violates CRU code.

I was down
in their basement!

- No, you weren't.
- What? Yes, I was.

No, you weren't.
Actually, Officer...

Our pledge here has made a
terrible mistake, and has
spoken out of turn.

- He is wrong.
- The Kappa Taus could be
in big trouble.

- If you know something...
- I don't.

But thanks for
helping us with Wade.

If that's how you want it.
All right, everybody skedaddle
before I get righteous.

All right. Let's go!

Ash, will you be here to
sign for a shipment tomorrow?

- Yeah, if that's what you want?
- Yeah. We're out of sporks.

Fisher?

Um...

Um, everyone! I have
an announcement to make.

- Fisher and I are dating.
And we're in like.

We totally
like each other.

And I'm a lesbian.

Yeah, we knew that, too.

Andylicious!
You had us worried sick.

- Did you get in trouble?
- Coach smoothed everything over
for me.

See? I told you. It's college
football. Arrests are the new
touchdowns.

He didn't see it that way.

I've been late to team meals
and curfews, partying way too
much.

Look, I've been thinking
a lot about my choices lately,

and there's way too much on my
plate. This whole fraternity
thing...

- It's not for me.
- Rusty had the same problem
with Kappa Tau,

and Polymer Science.
He can help you balance the two.

I don't need any more help
from Rusty, thank you.

OK what's going on? And don't
tell me everything's super.

It doesn't matter, Cap...

It's a done deal.

Thanks for having me, man.
It was fun.

OK. You wanna tell me why your
little brother just quit, Rus?

- Because I kissed Jordan.
- Who?

Michael Jordan? Jordan Knight?
Jordan Catalano?

Don't tell me that you
kissed Andy's Jordan.

I wish I kissed Michael Jordan.
No, it was Andy's Jordan.

I liked her and I saw
the opportunity...

...so I took it.

Wow, Spitter. I thought
you were better than that.

Oh, I'm really excited, Case.
It's just... It's one month.

I'll be back. Thank you.

- What did Dr. Broom say
about you leaving?
- Nothing.

He, uh, apparently was
throwing up from food
poisoning all night.

Strange.

So... Watch out
for soccer hooligans.

- I will.
- But don't call it soccer.
It's football.

- I know.
- They'll kick your ass if you
call it soccer.

- I know.
- And, uh...

- I love you.
- I know.

I love you.

Hey. Bye, Max.

One month, pal.

Then we can play all
the Blokus you can handle.

- Here. Going away gift.
- Mama Kettlewell's Preserves?

From Dale. He says everyone can
use a little K-Well Jelly on
their biscuit.

OK.

And see if you can get me
a tube of Dr. Stephanopoulos'
lipstick.

Goodbye.

Well this sucks.

You know...

Yeah, it really,
really does.