Original subtitles

Previously on Greek:

I met the man I am going to molest.

- Where the hell is he? - He's like Big Foot.

No, he's the Hot Ness Monster.

- Rebecca, what are you doing? - I'm getting rowdy.

That is Rebecca Logan!

- What? - Pledge gone wild at spring break.

Ohio Senator Ken Logan has been implicated in a sweep of a high end prostitution ring.

- I heard about your dad. - He didn't even call me.

Rebecca's in trouble. And I can't hold her together all by myself.

You're stronger than you think.

I don't want to be hated at ZBZ,

which I will be if Casey sees me as an enemy.

OK, bad news. We're out of milk.

I'd hug you, but I'm afraid to get my hands too close to your mouth.

Is it me, or do all my ex-boyfriends have some sort of Zeta Beta fetish?

There does appear to be a pattern.

First, she breaks up Evan and me.

Now she's full frontally kissing him in very public places,

knowing full well all the crap he pulled on me

- before Spring Break. - Case...

I know! I'm over Evan. I know I should be all Jennifer Aniston

and rise above it, but I just want to bite things.

OK, calm down.

Let the empty calories work their way into your bloodstream.

Casey, can we talk?

I want to bite her! Please? Just once in the jugular.

Try back later.

Casey, please! Just let me in.

Let her in!

- Fine. Sit. Stay. - Ash...

I have a lot of nice things in here, and I don't want blood on them.

Case, I know you must hate me.

This all happened so fast. Over spring break, Evan and I,

well, we made a connection.

I tried to tell you all week, but with the chaos of Greek Week

and the visit from Tegan, I couldn't find the right time.

I think she wants you to continue.

- I don't know what else to say. - Mmm.

Try "I'm sorry."

I'm sorry you had to find out that way,

but I hope we can move beyond this.

I'm not ready to move beyond this, Frannie.

I need time to process.

- Well, if we could just talk about it then, maybe... - Processing!

Yeah, her mouth is empty. You should probably go.

Right. OK, well, I'll check back later then.

I need a Ding Dong, stat.

Damn.

Ah, Sir Spits-a-lot! Time for laundry drop-off.

I can't talk Cap, I'm late for class.

Well, are your pants already down there?

- Oh, damn. - There's something about

your bare legs that make me chuckle.

But that happy-go-lucky attitude does not extend to my boxers.

- They needed to be folded in quarters, not rolled. - Got it.

I need delivery before five tomorrow. I'm into emergency undies, they ride.

My door's locked.

- Bet the key's in your pants. - What do I do now?

Get the RA to open the door?

- My what? - Come here.

That's Ra's room. He never comes out.

Are you sure you're in Honor's Engineering?

"R.A." stands for... Regal authority?

What is it? I swear, my mind is going.

I hope it's not the drinking.

Resident Advisor! Thank God, I can keep boozing.

- Where'd he go? - Hmmm, I don't know.

Tell you what. Your big brother's gonna let you borrow a pair of jeans.

The stain on the front is from toothpaste. I think.

Hey, oh, calling Dr. Genius.

Oh, there they are.

Now you can make it to class and soak up lots of smartiness.

I'm so late, I'll probably just skip.

- Wait, you're serious? - Yeah.

You are cordially invited to the ZBZ Crush Party!

Where? Dobler's. When? Friday night, 8:00pm.

OK... OK! Calm down!

Ouch! Who scratched me?! Ow!

Those girls take the term crush party literally here.

- May I have an extra one? - Oh, you have two crushes?

No. I want to give one to that crusty guy at the Gas n' Sip

who's always scratching himself, tell him it's from Frannie.

Would that make you feel better?

Only if he shows up. And licks her face.

These are great, though. You're truly a glue gun goddess.

Thanks. A skill that will come in handy,

since I'm going to grow old all alone with nothing to live for

other than my love of scrapbooking.

There's gotta be someone you're crushing on.

There is, but I don't know his address, what school he goes to,

or... his name.

The Hot Ness Monster?

- Ash, you met him once. - Once was enough.

OK, prepare yourself for some tough love.

You may never see him again.

You bitch.

OK, it's cruel but true. Is that flip-flop in there?

- No. - Really?

That is my bottle opener that I keep for emergencies.

You sleep with that thing. I think it's time that you stop.

There are tons of guys who would kill to get a crush party invite from you.

Well said.

Crush parties are so exciting! Anonymous invitations.

Chance encounters.

We speaking yet? Because there are some...

Still processing.

I've got to run to the career center.

I'm late for my intro appointment.

- Uh... - It's a complicated process.

Crush party. Friday night.

Isn't the whole point of a crush party, the invitation is anonymous?

Who said it's from me?

Oooh, I have a crush?!

I wonder who it is. Wait, are you gonna be there?

I'm just wondering because it could get awkward.

Or you could join us and it could get awesome.

My dad has totally humiliated me.

I have new respect for Chelsea Clinton.

Me too. Now that she grew into her face, she's foxy.

Ugh. I wish this would all just go away.

What would you do if you were me?

I'd probably distract myself with other pressing issues.

Like, what you'll be wearing to said party?

- Heels or flats? - A bag over my head.

- An actual bag, or... - The story is on the cover of USA Today. Third day in a row.

Do they still have Garfield? He's a cat that likes lasagna.

Will you be serious for a moment?

The most personal aspects of my life are painfully public.

Hey, it worked for Paris Hilton.

We're not making a sex tape, Cap.

I've been the star of enough viral videos, thank you.

Not talking about a sex tape.

We can talk about that whenever you're ready.

I'm talking about fame. You're already famous, Rebecca.

Your dad took care of that for you.

The question is, are you going to taste the perks of that fame?

Susie Brownstein, you're up. Is there a Susie Brownstein?

This is the place where they're handing out jobs, right?

I sure hope so.

I'm thinking puppeteer, honestly, or dolphin trainer.

- Ooh. - Maybe roller coaster tester.

I'd be happy with international pop star.

- I'm Drew Collins. - Casey Cartwright.

- Casey Cartwright. - Mm-hm.

That'll look great on a business card.

I don't think international pop stars carry them, so...

So, Casey Cartwright, I have a favor to ask you.

Ask away.

Please save me from having to read about the pregnant man

by telling me your life story.

Don't want to know how he got pregnant?

No. No, not at all.

OK, well, um...

Where to begin?

Let's see, um...

So nerd word on the street is that you skipped your

- Polymer seminar today. - I overslept. It happens.

Maybe the mental torture inflicted on you

by your fraternity is finally taking its toll.

No, I'm not tired from pledging. It's just... I'm bored.

All we do is read and regurgitate,

read and regurgitate. You know?

I'm about to regurgitate if this RA doesn't show up soon.

Yeah, well maybe he wants to make a dramatic entrance to assert his authority.

He's gonna find out quick there's certain habits

- nobody's gonna change in me. - Such as?

Such as, uh...

...occasionally not wearing underwear. Yeah, that's right.

You're not the only one taking a walk on the wild side

in college, my friend. You know what?

I think this "Meet the RA" thing is a scam.

It's the seniors, kicking off Senior Stockades.

- It's the right time of year. - What are Senior Stockades?

Are you sure you're in Honors Engineering?

Everybody knows what the Senior Stockades are.

Just enlighten me.

OK. The Seniors barricade their rooms,

and the underclassmen try to break in.

And we do this because...?

We do it because it's an awesome tradition passed down

through generations by our engineering fore-fathers?

Fun.

The Seniors also leave prizes behind for those who get in.

Last year I heard one guy got The Next Generation.

So this RA better not be a wet blanket.

OK, uh, I'm Max.

And my intention is not to be a wet blanket.

I'd prefer to be a dry blanket. Uh... Whatever that means.

Or... I don't know, I was going to say, uh... never mind.

OK, uh, I assume you all sorta know the drill.

I'm your new Resident Advisor.

I'm here in the unfortunate event

that you lose your keys or miss your parents,

which I hope, by now, you all kinda come to terms with.

Or, in case you try to kill each other, or yourselves.

Which, for what it's worth, I hope you wouldn't do either.

Um, but I really don't know any of you, at all, so...

Uh... I'm here...

He didn't assert much authority.

That's 'cause he knows that nobody can make me wear underwear.

- Almost... - What're you guys doing?

We invented this game, Kappa Tau Tower. Been playing four hours.

Shh! Your breath is making it move.

Looks like somebody's digging the hair ball out of my drain.

- No! - No!

Damn it!

Evil! These things.

Hey, I uh... finished your laundry.

You, uh... You ironed my jeans?

Don't you do that?

What has gotten into you, Spittle?

What do you mean?

You're skipping classes. You're avoiding schoolwork.

It's like you're... a real, live boy.

I'm taking this Honors seminar in Polymers,

and it's become non-stop drudge work.

I'm having a really hard time staying motivated.

- And the problem is...? - That is not like me.

- Never mind, you wouldn't understand. - And why not?

Because it's a serious problem.

Now stop right there.

This week I'm learning how to be sympathetic

to other people's serious problems.

So give me the scoop.

When I was 11, and I got my first allowance,

I went out and bought Silly Putty.

I think I bought porn, but go on.

And this was the coolest toy ever.

You could bounce it like a ball, stretch like clay.

You could throw it up on the wall like a wad of gum,

You can press it in the comics,

in the paper, and transfer the image.

Like Garfield, right? I love him.

It was this amazing material, and people made it.

I know this sounds strange, but I had to know how.

So I went to the library and found this book about

inorganic polymers, and this whole world opened up.

You know, Kevlar, nylon,

Post-it notes, uh, duct tape.

The world is filled with man-made miracles.

And I couldn't wait to get to college...

Boredom. Spitter, life's too short, man.

Ever think that, maybe, you're in the wrong major?

There you go. Serious problem solved. See? I'm good at this.

OK, let's review the plan.

He comes out of class, I hand him the invite.

- It's not that difficult. - But it's all about how you present it to him.

You can't shove it at him.

You have to present it with some fanfare.

Wow, you're crushing hard. I can tell because

you're obsessing over weird things.

That's the case of the flip-flop calling the sandal black.

Touché.

- So you're sure he'll be here? - He has Gazman's Art History.

I know, because we bonded over the way she says "Matisse."

He thinks lisps are funny, too!

OK, Tom, just point out your Katie.

- There he is! - Hot Ness Monster!

I can't believe he goes to school here.

Don't understand how this could happen.

We've never liked the same guy before.

- You're Pitt, I'm Clooney. - We're in uncharted territory.

You know what? You should take him.

You've been obsessed with him longer.

- OK. - Really? 'Cause...

Maybe we could share him. I'll take the top half.

And, wait... Let me think that through.

Wow.

It's not just us involved here, you know.

Someone else is inviting him?

Is it Laura? That little slut...

No, I mean, he should get some say in the matter too, right?

I guess so.

So we give him an invitation. He comes to the party.

We see who he clicks with the most, and the other bows out.

- That sounds so mature of us. - I know, right?

I like mature us!

So how do we get the invite to him and both remain anonymous?

- Hey, how's it going? - Uh, good.

We have a favor. Take this crush invite...

A ZBZ invite? I've always dreamt of getting one of these...

...and just give it to that guy over there.

Yeah, but don't tell him it's from us!

Go! Go!

Genetic freak.

Yay.

This just feels wrong.

When life gives you lemons, make lemon drops.

Let's go to Dobler's, sit in the back and talk. Just the two of us.

Why talk when we can do? Now, let's muss up your hair.

And don't forget to be out of breath. And flustered.

Let's go. Come on!

Mr. Kwon, you're looking at a pair of students

who have been hunted across campus.

Our predators? Photographers.

She can't walk all the way to and from her classes.

She needs one of those platinum faculty parking passes.

The most coveted parking pass on campus?

Can you think of anyone more deserving, or vulnerable,

right now than Rebecca Logan?

Paparazzi, huh?

They're vicious. Just ask Amy Winehouse.

Help me, Toby Kwon, you're my only hope.

OK, but you didn't get this from me.

Let's capture this moment, shall we?

Lemon drops, Miss Logan.

There it is.

Hi. I think I need some advice from an upperclassman in the Honors Engineering program.

- What's up? - Well, in my Polymer Seminar,

I'm just having a difficult time staying focused and motivated.

- OK, uh, you're bored. - Which I've never been before with science.

- Is it too hard for you? - Not really.

- That's pretty arrogant. - I didn't mean it that way.

It sounded that way.

Look, have you ever questioned whether or not

- you should be an Engineer? - Uh... No.

If you are bored, maybe it's best if you leave the program.

Really? But wouldn't that be a fairly complicated process?

I mean, getting into Honors Engineering was complicated...

You just fill out a form.

- That my parents need to sign? - No.

- That my advisor needs to sign? - No.

So that's it? It's that easy to drop out of Honors Engineering?

My lifelong dream of being a Polymer scientist

can end by filling out one form?

This is exciting! Like we're on The Bachelor

and we've made it to the final rose ceremony.

We're not skanky 30 somethings trying to sabotage each other.

Yay, mature us!

- Have you seen my lucky lip gloss? - Mm-mm.

Hey...

Are you wearing heels?

Of course. Why?

Just that it gives you an unfair height advantage.

- You'll get more eye contact. - OK, tell you what,

I'll wear flats, if you take out your chicken cutlets.

I don't know what you're talking about.

- Oh, those. - I bet these get more eye contact than my heels.

- You're being ridiculous. - I'm being ridiculous? Maybe it's you who's being...

I'm sorry. Am I interrupting something?

No, I was...

I was just telling Casey how much I wish I had her eyes.

They're beautiful.

Well, I wish I had your smile.

Your teeth are like snow-capped mountains.

- We're going to have so much fun, I can't wait... - Still processing!

♪ That's right, girl ♪

♪ I know you are the one ♪

♪ The first time that I saw you... ♪

Drew has a tough decision because we're both beautiful.

Inside and out.

And if there's anyone I'd rather be rejected for, it's you.

Ditto!

Now, when's he getting here?

Hey...

I'm Ashleigh, from Spring Break.

Right. What a coincidence.

- And Casey Cartwright, too? - Mm-hm. In the flesh.

I don't suppose one of you sent me this invite?

- Maybe. - I did!

- Hey, somebody left you a form outside. What is it? - Nothing.

Did you enter some kind of contest or academic award thingy

that I should know about?

"Request for withdrawal?" You're dropping out of Polymer Science?

- No. I'm thinking about it. - Rusty, you can't do this.

Dale, I said I'm just thinking about...

Trust me, you can't do this. This would be a huge mistake.

- Finally. Thank you. - I'd have to get a new roommate

I'm not spending the last two months

of Freshman year with some fanatical nutjob.

Yeah, that'd be terrible. Why would they make me move anyway?

This is the honors Engineering hall,

not the average Engineering hall.

Where's this RA guy? Let's go see what protocol is.

Hey, this isn't a done deal,

it's just that I've been questioning...

Hold on, hold on. Wait, wait, wait...

- Where'd his door go? - It's Senior Stockades!

We gotta get in there.

I don't know, Dale. I'm kinda having a life crisis.

We get to wear protective eyewear.

- Huh? - I'm in.

Why would you want to drop out of Polymer Science?

It's not as exciting as I thought it would be.

Branching out and joining a fraternity has been awesome.

Maybe I need to explore academically, as well.

You should join me in Electrical Engineering! It rocks.

Or as I like to say, "It shocks."

All right.

Let's get this out.

Oh, wow, this guy is good.

Who would've guessed, huh? He encased the door in plastic.

That's not just any plastic. It's a polymethylmethacrylate.

I know that,

I just didn't want you to feel stupid if you didn't.

- You know what this means? - It means "Here's Johnny."

- Whoa, Dale! - What?

This is solid shatterproof glass.

That axe will bounce right off.

What do we do now?

Chloroform would dissolve it.

I used up my last bottle of chloroform

when I was on Murder, She Wrote.

- Uh, we could try acetone. - I've got nail polish remover.

I'd explain, but it's this whole long, involved story,

and we don't have time.

♪ Sure, I've got pictures of my own ♪

♪ Of the people and the places that I've known ♪

♪ Here's one I'm carrying your suitcase ♪

♪ Outside of Alphabet City ♪

- Hey, Casey. - Still processing.

She seems touchy.

Well, you got your wish. Casey is freaking out.

And you have a problem with that because... ?

Because it's a situation I have to manage.

Why do you care? Were you and Casey ever close?

We were. But she's always closer to Ashleigh,

her giant Siamese twin.

- Someone's jealous. - I'm not jealous.

They are birds of a feather.

Easily distracted from the big picture.

But they're also very well liked in the house.

Which means if they make me a pariah again...

What is she gonna tell them?

"Frannie's dating my ex-boyfriend?"

That's already happened. With Rebecca.

If anything, it's gonna make her look like a jealous lunatic.

You are so damn sexy.

♪ The memory now is never quite the same ♪

And that's how I got this scar.

That is the most fascinating story I've ever heard. Let me see.

It sounds stupid,

but it's the first time I realized my own mortality.

And I even kept the glass as a reminder.

That is so sweet.

Ash likes to keep little mementos too, don't you?

I keep things that mean something to me.

Objects, not ex-boyfriends.

You guys are best friends, right?

And roommates since Sophomore year.

It's been so long, I don't even notice her snoring anymore.

Seen each other through good times and bad.

Like that time you hooked up with the 16-year-old.

Oops! Too funny.

Or that time you threw yourself at the gay guy.

Oh, my gosh. Hilarity ensued.

But enough about us. We want to hear more about you.

Oh, like, do you have any pets?

I have a dog at home named Shadow. She's...

- Ashleigh's terribly allergic. - Do you like ice cream, Drew?

'Cause Casey is crazy lactose intolerant.

- Ash hates Will Ferrell movies! - Casey loves Mariah Carey!

Um, I've gotta go to the bathroom.

I think it's getting softer.

Yeah, but not enough to matter.

We could try irradiating it. Can we get ahold of an e-beam?

There's one back on the ship, Captain Kirk.

Samir's about to use dynamite

to blow up some senior's door in Dabney Hall.

- Wanna go? - No, we've come so far.

All right, listen. I'm getting in a dorm room tonight.

It's dynamite. It's literally gonna be a blast. Come on.

No, you go ahead. I'll catch up.

Heat.

- Hey, guys. - Hey, Betsy.

So, um, I wanted to let you know

that I am committed to living sober,

and my 12-step plan for success.

- That's great. - Awesome.

So one step in my plan is making amends, so, I wanted to apologize.

And I know that my drinking caused problems for both of you.

And when I think that my crazy behavior kept either of you

from having a potential relationship with a boy

that could have been awesome,

- well... it makes me feel... - Incredibly selfish?

Yes.

Like you've been a huge, flirty, buttface?

- Yeah. - Like you stood in the way of two soulmates

who were meant to be together?

OK, I get it! I messed up!

This is harder than I thought. I've got to go call my sponsor.

- I have a solution to stop this. - Me too! You leave.

Or we each get 15 minutes with him, alone.

After that, he has to choose.

Works for me. I'm much better one-on-one, anyway.

I'll go first.

So you can tell him about my waxing regimen?

I don't think so. I'm first.

Oh, so you can tell him I'm afraid of little people?

Pretty sneaky, sis.

- You know what? Fine. We'll flip a coin, OK? - Fine.

Heads.

- You're still at it? - Uh-huh. It's thermoplastic.

Should respond to heat. How'd you do?

Let's just say that Samir exaggerates.

His "dynamite" was three cherry bombs.

Wouldn't have blown up my sister's dollhouse.

I ended up getting in with his clothes hangar.

It couldn't have been easier. So now I can sleep victorious.

- What was the reward? - The dude left us a pack of triple-A batteries.

Aah, this heat is too diffused!

Figure out how to focus it in a hurry. You have 30 minutes.

- What do you mean? - Senior Stockades end at midnight.

Here, maybe this'll help ya.

- One faculty gym card. - Check.

Two dinner passes to the alumni dining room.

Check. And, on a side note, kobe beef and fresh gelato?

Who knew?

I have to admit, Cappie,

you've proven that scandals do have an upside.

This must be what it feels like to be Heidi and Spencer.

- Mm-hm. - Hey.

What does a girl have to do to get a lemon drop?

Uh, turn 21.

I am working on that.

- So where's Casey? - She'll be back in 14 and a half minutes.

- OK... - Can you believe we're sitting here together?

I mean, first we meet at Spring Break,

then we both end up going to the same school.

- I mean, it has to be fate. - Totally.

- Spring Break was awesome. - The awesomest.

So was your volley ball spike. Are you on the team here?

Uh, no, I don't play volleyball. I wear too much jewelry.

Oh, isn't that how we met?

No. We met at a party... At the Yacht House?

- You tripped me with your giant clown feet. - Right!

That party was insane.

In fact, weren't you wearing a life preserver?

Uh, no. I was wearing an adorable green tunic.

With a floral brocade?

Chunky peace necklace? Pink fedora?

You know, that whole week is a fuzzy blur.

I mean, in fact, I lost one of my favorite flip flops.

Um... I'm gonna go get another drink.

- Oh, I can grab you one. - No, you, uh, just stay put.

Oh, um...

- He's all yours. - But you still have 13 minutes.

Nah. He's so not my type. I don't know what I was thinking.

Temporary insanity, I guess.

But he's your Hot Ness Monster.

Uh, correction. Was. Now he's your fun new guy.

Yay, fun new guy!

- Are you sure? - Yeah. Go!

Oh, wait. Um, I found your lucky lip gloss.

Somehow it ended up in my purse.

Right on time.

Yes!

Surrender to Spittle.

It's locked!

It's over.

You've been in there this whole time?

Yeah. I'm in need of major bladder relief

so you might wanna stand back.

So what did you think of your first crush party?

It was heavy. Crush? Heavy? you know?

Got it. Ha ha.

I'm sorry about all the weirdness...

No, you're just worried about Ashleigh, it's fine.

I just... Yeah.

She's an amazing girl...

Great personality, unique fashion sense, smokin' body.

She's gonna make some guy crazy happy.

Maybe they'll even get married on a reality show.

- They could invite the pregnant man. - They could, yes.

Though by then, he probably wouldn't be pregnant.

But, the point is, she'll be fine.

You should add cheering people up to your resume.

Under special skills.

I should. Right below kissing.

You're hired.

- Night. - Night.

Casey.

So... what should we do now?

- You're still here. - Where's your keyhole?

- I changed the doorknob. - That can't be fair.

Senior Stockades has no rules, so, ipso facto, there is no fair.

Well, then I guess you won.

Oh, hey, come inside. I have something for you.

What is this?

The Suicide Prevention Hotline. They're open 24 hours.

I'm not suicidal.

Oh, good. I've heard that's a ton of paperwork.

I'm just looking for a reason to be a Polymer scientist.

They have a hotline for that?

My reason's Kevlar. You can borrow it if you want.

You're in Polymers?

Yep. First time I knew it, I was in my dad's tire shop,

where I worked on weekends. I was trying to tear apart this

thread of Kevlar from a tire. Which, of course, you can't

because it's indestructible.

And I actually cut my hand up pretty badly.

And it dawned on me that some guy just created this.

It was a guy and a girl, actually. Stephanie Kwolek

and, uh, Roberto... Whatever, my point is

someone thought to take the tiniest of particles

to create something far superior to anything that's naturally forming.

Like Silly Putty.

Incredible stuff, huh?

Consider it your reward for almost getting in.

I'm impressed you didn't give up.

I guess I can't walk away from a puzzle.

Which is why you're a scientist. And that's why you're a Polymer scientist.

OK, time to go.

No way! You worked for NASA?!

- Come on. - So you must be a genius, huh?

Yeah, I guess so.

All right, it's a mixed bag.

Stevie Dobler won't budge on the "serving alcohol to minors" thing,

but if you don this shirt every Thursday,

he'll comp us nachos for the rest of the year.

Free nachos dipped in salt and grease

and covered in sour cream and, Lord, am I hungry!

- Cap. - Look, I'll give you some more stuff, I'm...

Cap, my parents just called. They're getting a divorce.

I'm sorry. I bet going back inside would cheer you up.

Give me a straw, and I'll drink apple juice through my nose.

That's it?

I can also burp The Star Spangled Banner.

Wha...

You want me to go with you?

I don't think lemon drops can fix this, Cap.

♪ It's just a crush ♪

♪ 'Cause there's someone else ♪

♪ And he knows your name... ♪

You up for eating some feelings?

What happened with Hot Ness... I mean, Drew?

Let's just say... I'm not Frannie.

He's into Frannie now?

He needs to, seriously, make up his mind.

No, he was walking me home

when I saw Frannie kissing her new boyfriend.

And it dawned on me.

What's got me so ticked off about Frannie

isn't that she's with Evan.

It's that she chose the possibility

of a relationship with a guy over our friendship, and...

I was in the process of doing

the same thing to you, with Drew.

No, Case, really. It's fine.

Drew's a great guy, and he's totally into you. Not me.

He didn't even remember me.

What? That's impossible. You're unforgettable.

- Apparently not. - You are to me.

Ugh! And there is no guy on Earth

dreamy enough to come between us.

Come here.

- Except, maybe, Christian Bale. - Or Johnny Depp.

Oooh, yeah. Johnny Depp.

For you. Totally for you.

- May I have some? - Of course.

Sometimes you have to wake up and smell the coffee, you know?

You're smiling. I take it you're done processing?

It's been processed, packaged, and put on a shelf.

So we're friends again?

Absolutely not.

What does that mean?

Evan cheated on me,

and lied to me and tried to manipulate me, Frannie.

By dating him, you're basically saying that's OK.

You're choosing him over me.

- I don't see it that way, Case. - I don't care, Fran.

So, um... What happens now?

What happens to Big Sis, Little Sis?

We're sisters forever, Frannie.

We're just no longer friends.