All language subtitles for Greek S02E02 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-CRUD_track3_[eng]

Previously on Greek:

I met the man
I am going to molest.

- Where the hell is he?
- He's like Big Foot.

No, he's the
Hot Ness Monster.

- Rebecca, what are you doing?
- I'm getting rowdy.

That is Rebecca Logan!

- What?
- Pledge gone wild
at spring break.

Ohio Senator Ken Logan has been
implicated in a sweep of a
high end prostitution ring.

- I heard about your dad.
- He didn't even call me.

Rebecca's in trouble.
And I can't hold her
together all by myself.

You're stronger
than you think.

I don't want
to be hated at ZBZ,

which I will be if Casey
sees me as an enemy.

OK, bad news.
We're out of milk.

I'd hug you, but I'm
afraid to get my hands
too close to your mouth.

Is it me, or do all my
ex-boyfriends have some
sort of Zeta Beta fetish?

There does appear
to be a pattern.

First, she breaks up
Evan and me.

Now she's full frontally kissing
him in very public places,

knowing full well all
the crap he pulled on me

- before Spring Break.
- Case...

I know! I'm over Evan. I know
I should be all Jennifer Aniston

and rise above it, but
I just want to bite things.

OK, calm down.

Let the empty calories work
their way into your bloodstream.

Casey, can we talk?

I want to bite her! Please?
Just once in the jugular.

Try back later.

Casey,
please! Just let me in.

Let her in!

- Fine. Sit. Stay.
- Ash...

I have a lot of nice things
in here, and I don't want
blood on them.

Case, I know
you must hate me.

This all happened so fast.
Over spring break, Evan and I,

well, we made a connection.

I tried to tell you all week,
but with the chaos of Greek Week

and the visit from Tegan,
I couldn't find the right time.

I think she wants
you to continue.

- I don't know what else to say.
- Mmm.

Try "I'm sorry."

I'm sorry you had to
find out that way,

but I hope we can
move beyond this.

I'm not ready to move
beyond this, Frannie.

I need time to process.

- Well, if we could just talk
about it then, maybe...
- Processing!

Yeah, her mouth is empty.
You should probably go.

Right. OK, well,
I'll check back later then.

I need a Ding Dong, stat.

Damn.

Ah, Sir Spits-a-lot!
Time for laundry drop-off.

I can't talk Cap,
I'm late for class.

Well, are your pants
already down there?

- Oh, damn.
- There's something about

your bare legs
that make me chuckle.

But that happy-go-lucky attitude
does not extend to my boxers.

- They needed to be folded
in quarters, not rolled.
- Got it.

I need delivery before five
tomorrow. I'm into emergency
undies, they ride.

My door's locked.

- Bet the key's in your pants.
- What do I do now?

Get the RA
to open the door?

- My what?
- Come here.

That's Ra's room.
He never comes out.

Are you sure you're
in Honor's Engineering?

"R.A." stands for...
Regal authority?

What is it? I swear,
my mind is going.

I hope it's not
the drinking.

Resident Advisor! Thank God,
I can keep boozing.

- Where'd he go?
- Hmmm, I don't know.

Tell you what. Your big
brother's gonna let you
borrow a pair of jeans.

The stain on the front
is from toothpaste. I think.

Hey, oh, calling Dr. Genius.

Oh, there they are.

Now you can make it to class
and soak up lots of smartiness.

I'm so late, I'll
probably just skip.

- Wait, you're serious?
- Yeah.

You are cordially
invited to the ZBZ Crush Party!

Where? Dobler's.
When? Friday night, 8:00pm.

OK... OK! Calm down!

Ouch! Who
scratched me?! Ow!

Those girls take the
term crush party literally here.

- May I have an extra one?
- Oh, you have two crushes?

No. I want to give one to that
crusty guy at the Gas n' Sip

who's always scratching himself,
tell him it's from Frannie.

Would that make
you feel better?

Only if he shows up.
And licks her face.

These are great, though.
You're truly a glue gun goddess.

Thanks. A skill
that will come in handy,

since I'm going to grow old all
alone with nothing to live for

other than my love
of scrapbooking.

There's gotta be someone
you're crushing on.

There is, but I don't know his
address, what school he goes to,

or... his name.

The Hot Ness Monster?

- Ash, you met him once.
- Once was enough.

OK, prepare yourself
for some tough love.

You may never see him again.

You bitch.

OK, it's cruel but true.
Is that flip-flop in there?

- No.
- Really?

That is my bottle opener
that I keep for emergencies.

You sleep with that thing. I
think it's time that you stop.

There are tons of guys
who would kill to get a
crush party invite from you.

Well said.

Crush parties are so exciting!
Anonymous invitations.

Chance encounters.

We speaking yet? Because
there are some...

Still processing.

I've got to run
to the career center.

I'm late for my
intro appointment.

- Uh...
- It's a complicated process.

Crush party. Friday night.

Isn't the whole point of a
crush party, the invitation
is anonymous?

Who said it's from me?

Oooh, I have a crush?!

I wonder who it is.
Wait, are you gonna be there?

I'm just wondering because
it could get awkward.

Or you could join us
and it could get awesome.

My dad has totally
humiliated me.

I have new respect
for Chelsea Clinton.

Me too. Now that she grew
into her face, she's foxy.

Ugh. I wish this
would all just go away.

What would you do
if you were me?

I'd probably distract myself
with other pressing issues.

Like, what you'll be
wearing to said party?

- Heels or flats?
- A bag over my head.

- An actual bag, or...
- The story is on the cover of
USA Today. Third day in a row.

Do they still have Garfield?
He's a cat that likes lasagna.

Will you be serious
for a moment?

The most personal aspects of
my life are painfully public.

Hey, it worked
for Paris Hilton.

We're not making
a sex tape, Cap.

I've been the star of enough
viral videos, thank you.

Not talking
about a sex tape.

We can talk about that
whenever you're ready.

I'm talking about fame.
You're already famous, Rebecca.

Your dad took care
of that for you.

The question is, are you going
to taste the perks of that fame?

Susie Brownstein, you're
up. Is there a Susie Brownstein?

This is the place where they're
handing out jobs, right?

I sure hope so.

I'm thinking puppeteer,
honestly, or dolphin trainer.

- Ooh.
- Maybe roller coaster tester.

I'd be happy with
international pop star.

- I'm Drew Collins.
- Casey Cartwright.

- Casey Cartwright.
- Mm-hm.

That'll look great
on a business card.

I don't think
international pop stars
carry them, so...

So, Casey Cartwright,
I have a favor to ask you.

Ask away.

Please save me from having
to read about the pregnant man

by telling me
your life story.

Don't want to know
how he got pregnant?

No. No, not at all.

OK, well, um...

Where to begin?

Let's see, um...

So nerd word on the street
is that you skipped your

- Polymer seminar today.
- I overslept. It happens.

Maybe the mental torture
inflicted on you

by your fraternity
is finally taking its toll.

No, I'm not tired from pledging.
It's just... I'm bored.

All we do is read
and regurgitate,

read and regurgitate.
You know?

I'm about to regurgitate
if this RA doesn't show up soon.

Yeah, well maybe he wants to
make a dramatic entrance to
assert his authority.

He's gonna find out quick
there's certain habits

- nobody's gonna change in me.
- Such as?

Such as, uh...

...occasionally not
wearing underwear.
Yeah, that's right.

You're not the only one taking
a walk on the wild side

in college, my friend.
You know what?

I think this "Meet
the RA" thing is a scam.

It's the seniors,
kicking off Senior Stockades.

- It's the right time of year.
- What are Senior Stockades?

Are you sure you're in
Honors Engineering?

Everybody knows what
the Senior Stockades are.

Just enlighten me.

OK. The Seniors
barricade their rooms,

and the underclassmen
try to break in.

And we do this because...?

We do it because it's
an awesome tradition passed down

through generations by our
engineering fore-fathers?

Fun.

The Seniors also leave prizes
behind for those who get in.

Last year I heard one guy got
The Next Generation.

So this RA better not
be a wet blanket.

OK, uh, I'm Max.

And my intention is
not to be a wet blanket.

I'd prefer to be a dry blanket.
Uh... Whatever that means.

Or... I don't know, I was going
to say, uh... never mind.

OK, uh, I assume you
all sorta know the drill.

I'm your new Resident Advisor.

I'm here in the
unfortunate event

that you lose your keys
or miss your parents,

which I hope, by now, you all
kinda come to terms with.

Or, in case you try to kill
each other, or yourselves.

Which, for what it's worth,
I hope you wouldn't do either.

Um, but I really don't know
any of you, at all, so...

Uh... I'm here...

He didn't assert
much authority.

That's 'cause he knows
that nobody can make me
wear underwear.

- Almost...
- What're you guys doing?

We invented this game, Kappa Tau
Tower. Been playing four hours.

Shh! Your breath
is making it move.

Looks like somebody's digging
the hair ball out of my drain.

- No!
- No!

Damn it!

Evil! These things.

Hey, I uh...
finished your laundry.

You, uh...
You ironed my jeans?

Don't you do that?

What has gotten
into you, Spittle?

What do you mean?

You're skipping classes.
You're avoiding schoolwork.

It's like you're...
a real, live boy.

I'm taking this Honors
seminar in Polymers,

and it's become
non-stop drudge work.

I'm having a really hard time
staying motivated.

- And the problem is...?
- That is not like me.

- Never mind, you
wouldn't understand.
- And why not?

Because it's
a serious problem.

Now stop right there.

This week I'm learning
how to be sympathetic

to other people's
serious problems.

So give me the scoop.

When I was 11, and
I got my first allowance,

I went out and
bought Silly Putty.

I think I bought porn,
but go on.

And this was the
coolest toy ever.

You could bounce it like a ball,
stretch like clay.

You could throw it up on
the wall like a wad of gum,

You can press it
in the comics,

in the paper,
and transfer the image.

Like Garfield, right?
I love him.

It was this amazing material,
and people made it.

I know this sounds strange,
but I had to know how.

So I went to the library
and found this book about

inorganic polymers, and
this whole world opened up.

You know, Kevlar, nylon,

Post-it notes, uh, duct tape.

The world is filled
with man-made miracles.

And I couldn't wait
to get to college...

Boredom. Spitter,
life's too short, man.

Ever think that, maybe,
you're in the wrong major?

There you go. Serious problem
solved. See? I'm good at this.

OK,
let's review the plan.

He comes out of class,
I hand him the invite.

- It's not that difficult.
- But it's all about
how you present it to him.

You can't
shove it at him.

You have to present it
with some fanfare.

Wow, you're crushing hard.
I can tell because

you're obsessing
over weird things.

That's the case of the flip-flop
calling the sandal black.

Touché.

- So you're sure he'll be here?
- He has Gazman's Art History.

I know, because we bonded over
the way she says "Matisse."

He thinks lisps
are funny, too!

OK, Tom, just point
out your Katie.

- There he is!
- Hot Ness Monster!

I can't believe
he goes to school here.

Don't understand
how this could happen.

We've never liked
the same guy before.

- You're Pitt, I'm Clooney.
- We're in uncharted territory.

You know what?
You should take him.

You've been obsessed
with him longer.

- OK.
- Really? 'Cause...

Maybe we could share him.
I'll take the top half.

And, wait...
Let me think that through.

Wow.

It's not just us
involved here, you know.

Someone else
is inviting him?

Is it Laura?
That little slut...

No, I mean, he should
get some say in the
matter too, right?

I guess so.

So we give him an invitation.
He comes to the party.

We see who he clicks with the
most, and the other bows out.

- That sounds so mature of us.
- I know, right?

I like mature us!

So how do we get the invite to
him and both remain anonymous?

- Hey, how's it going?
- Uh, good.

We have a favor.
Take this crush invite...

A ZBZ invite? I've always dreamt
of getting one of these...

...and just give it
to that guy over there.

Yeah, but don't
tell him it's from us!

Go! Go!

Genetic freak.

Yay.

This just feels wrong.

When life gives you lemons,
make lemon drops.

Let's go to Dobler's,
sit in the back and talk.
Just the two of us.

Why talk when we can do?
Now, let's muss up your hair.

And don't forget to be out
of breath. And flustered.

Let's go. Come on!

Mr. Kwon, you're looking
at a pair of students

who have been
hunted across campus.

Our predators?
Photographers.

She can't walk all the way
to and from her classes.

She needs one of those platinum
faculty parking passes.

The most coveted
parking pass on campus?

Can you think of anyone
more deserving, or vulnerable,

right now
than Rebecca Logan?

Paparazzi, huh?

They're vicious.
Just ask Amy Winehouse.

Help me, Toby Kwon,
you're my only hope.

OK, but you didn't
get this from me.

Let's capture this moment,
shall we?

Lemon drops, Miss Logan.

There it is.

Hi. I think I need some advice
from an upperclassman in the
Honors Engineering program.

- What's up?
- Well, in my Polymer Seminar,

I'm just having a difficult time
staying focused and motivated.

- OK, uh, you're bored.
- Which I've never been before
with science.

- Is it too hard for you?
- Not really.

- That's pretty arrogant.
- I didn't mean it that way.

It sounded that way.

Look, have you ever
questioned whether or not

- you should be an Engineer?
- Uh... No.

If you are bored, maybe it's
best if you leave the program.

Really? But wouldn't that be
a fairly complicated process?

I mean, getting into Honors
Engineering was complicated...

You just fill out a form.

- That my parents need to sign?
- No.

- That my advisor needs to sign?
- No.

So that's it? It's that easy to
drop out of Honors Engineering?

My lifelong dream of being
a Polymer scientist

can end by filling out one form?

This is exciting!
Like we're on The Bachelor

and we've made it to
the final rose ceremony.

We're not skanky 30 somethings
trying to sabotage each other.

Yay, mature us!

- Have you seen my
lucky lip gloss?
- Mm-mm.

Hey...

Are you wearing heels?

Of course. Why?

Just that it gives you
an unfair height advantage.

- You'll get more eye contact.
- OK, tell you what,

I'll wear flats, if you
take out your chicken cutlets.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

- Oh, those.
- I bet these get more
eye contact than my heels.

- You're being ridiculous.
- I'm being ridiculous?
Maybe it's you who's being...

I'm sorry. Am I
interrupting something?

No, I was...

I was just telling Casey how
much I wish I had her eyes.

They're beautiful.

Well, I wish
I had your smile.

Your teeth are like
snow-capped mountains.

- We're going to have
so much fun, I can't wait...
- Still processing!

♪ That's right, girl ♪

♪ I know you are the one ♪

♪ The first time
that I saw you... ♪

Drew has a tough decision
because we're both beautiful.

Inside and out.

And if there's anyone I'd rather
be rejected for, it's you.

Ditto!

Now, when's he
getting here?

Hey...

I'm Ashleigh,
from Spring Break.

Right.
What a coincidence.

- And Casey Cartwright, too?
- Mm-hm. In the flesh.

I don't suppose one of you
sent me this invite?

- Maybe.
- I did!

- Hey, somebody left you a
form outside. What is it?
- Nothing.

Did you enter some kind of
contest or academic award thingy

that I should know about?

"Request for withdrawal?" You're
dropping out of Polymer Science?

- No. I'm thinking about it.
- Rusty, you can't do this.

Dale, I said I'm
just thinking about...

Trust me, you can't do this.
This would be a huge mistake.

- Finally. Thank you.
- I'd have to get a new roommate

I'm not spending
the last two months

of Freshman year with
some fanatical nutjob.

Yeah, that'd be terrible. Why
would they make me move anyway?

This is the honors
Engineering hall,

not the average
Engineering hall.

Where's this RA guy?
Let's go see what protocol is.

Hey, this isn't
a done deal,

it's just that I've been
questioning...

Hold on, hold on.
Wait, wait, wait...

- Where'd his door go?
- It's Senior Stockades!

We gotta get in there.

I don't know, Dale.
I'm kinda having a life crisis.

We get to wear
protective eyewear.

- Huh?
- I'm in.

Why would you want to
drop out of Polymer Science?

It's not as exciting
as I thought it would be.

Branching out and joining a
fraternity has been awesome.

Maybe I need to explore
academically, as well.

You should join me in Electrical
Engineering! It rocks.

Or as I like to say,
"It shocks."

All right.

Let's get this out.

Oh, wow,
this guy is good.

Who would've guessed, huh?
He encased the door in plastic.

That's not just any plastic.
It's a polymethylmethacrylate.

I know that,

I just didn't want you
to feel stupid if you didn't.

- You know what this means?
- It means "Here's Johnny."

- Whoa, Dale!
- What?

This is solid
shatterproof glass.

That axe will
bounce right off.

What do we do now?

Chloroform
would dissolve it.

I used up my last
bottle of chloroform

when I was on
Murder, She Wrote.

- Uh, we could try acetone.
- I've got nail polish remover.

I'd explain, but it's this
whole long, involved story,

and we don't have time.

♪ Sure, I've got
pictures of my own ♪

♪ Of the people and the places
that I've known ♪

♪ Here's one
I'm carrying your suitcase ♪

♪ Outside of Alphabet City ♪

- Hey, Casey.
- Still processing.

She seems touchy.

Well, you got your wish.
Casey is freaking out.

And you have a problem
with that because... ?

Because it's a situation
I have to manage.

Why do you care? Were
you and Casey ever close?

We were. But she's always
closer to Ashleigh,

her giant Siamese twin.

- Someone's jealous.
- I'm not jealous.

They are birds of a feather.

Easily distracted
from the big picture.

But they're also
very well liked in the house.

Which means if they
make me a pariah again...

What is she gonna tell them?

"Frannie's dating
my ex-boyfriend?"

That's already happened.
With Rebecca.

If anything, it's gonna make
her look like a jealous lunatic.

You are so damn sexy.

♪ The memory now
is never quite the same ♪

And that's how
I got this scar.

That is the most
fascinating story I've
ever heard. Let me see.

It sounds stupid,

but it's the first time
I realized my own mortality.

And I even kept
the glass as a reminder.

That is so sweet.

Ash likes to keep little
mementos too, don't you?

I keep things that
mean something to me.

Objects, not ex-boyfriends.

You guys are
best friends, right?

And roommates
since Sophomore year.

It's been so long, I don't
even notice her snoring anymore.

Seen each other through
good times and bad.

Like that time you hooked up
with the 16-year-old.

Oops! Too funny.

Or that time you threw
yourself at the gay guy.

Oh, my gosh.
Hilarity ensued.

But enough about us. We
want to hear more about you.

Oh, like, do you
have any pets?

I have a dog at home
named Shadow. She's...

- Ashleigh's terribly allergic.
- Do you like ice cream, Drew?

'Cause Casey is crazy
lactose intolerant.

- Ash hates Will Ferrell movies!
- Casey loves Mariah Carey!

Um, I've
gotta go to the bathroom.

I think
it's getting softer.

Yeah, but not
enough to matter.

We could try
irradiating it. Can we
get ahold of an e-beam?

There's one back on
the ship, Captain Kirk.

Samir's
about to use dynamite

to blow up some senior's door
in Dabney Hall.

- Wanna go?
- No, we've come so far.

All right, listen. I'm
getting in a dorm room tonight.

It's dynamite. It's literally
gonna be a blast. Come on.

No, you go ahead.
I'll catch up.

Heat.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Betsy.

So, um, I wanted
to let you know

that I am committed
to living sober,

and my 12-step plan for success.

- That's great.
- Awesome.

So one step in my plan
is making amends,
so, I wanted to apologize.

And I know that my drinking
caused problems for both of you.

And when I think that my crazy
behavior kept either of you

from having a potential
relationship with a boy

that could have been awesome,

- well... it makes me feel...
- Incredibly selfish?

Yes.

Like you've been a
huge, flirty, buttface?

- Yeah.
- Like you stood in
the way of two soulmates

who were meant
to be together?

OK, I get it!
I messed up!

This is harder than I thought.
I've got to go call my sponsor.

- I have a solution
to stop this.
- Me too! You leave.

Or we each get 15 minutes
with him, alone.

After that, he has to choose.

Works for me. I'm much
better one-on-one, anyway.

I'll go first.

So you can tell him
about my waxing regimen?

I don't think so.
I'm first.

Oh, so you can tell him
I'm afraid of little people?

Pretty sneaky, sis.

- You know what? Fine.
We'll flip a coin, OK?
- Fine.

Heads.

- You're still at it?
- Uh-huh. It's thermoplastic.

Should respond to heat.
How'd you do?

Let's just say that
Samir exaggerates.

His "dynamite"
was three cherry bombs.

Wouldn't have blown up
my sister's dollhouse.

I ended up getting in
with his clothes hangar.

It couldn't have been easier.
So now I can sleep victorious.

- What was the reward?
- The dude left us a pack
of triple-A batteries.

Aah, this heat
is too diffused!

Figure out how to focus it in
a hurry. You have 30 minutes.

- What do you mean?
- Senior Stockades
end at midnight.

Here, maybe this'll help ya.

- One faculty gym card.
- Check.

Two dinner passes to
the alumni dining room.

Check. And, on a side note,
kobe beef and fresh gelato?

Who knew?

I have to admit, Cappie,

you've proven that scandals
do have an upside.

This must be what
it feels like to be
Heidi and Spencer.

- Mm-hm.
- Hey.

What does a girl have to
do to get a lemon drop?

Uh, turn 21.

I am working on that.

- So where's Casey?
- She'll be back in
14 and a half minutes.

- OK...
- Can you believe we're
sitting here together?

I mean, first we meet
at Spring Break,

then we both end up
going to the same school.

- I mean,
it has to be fate.
- Totally.

- Spring Break was awesome.
- The awesomest.

So was your volley ball spike.
Are you on the team here?

Uh, no, I don't play volleyball.
I wear too much jewelry.

Oh, isn't that how we met?

No. We met at a party...
At the Yacht House?

- You tripped me with
your giant clown feet.
- Right!

That party was insane.

In fact, weren't you
wearing a life preserver?

Uh, no. I was wearing
an adorable green tunic.

With a floral brocade?

Chunky peace necklace?
Pink fedora?

You know, that whole week
is a fuzzy blur.

I mean, in fact, I lost
one of my favorite flip flops.

Um... I'm gonna go
get another drink.

- Oh, I can grab you one.
- No, you, uh, just stay put.

Oh, um...

- He's all yours.
- But you still have 13 minutes.

Nah. He's so not my type. I
don't know what I was thinking.

Temporary insanity, I guess.

But he's your
Hot Ness Monster.

Uh, correction. Was.
Now he's your fun new guy.

Yay, fun new guy!

- Are you sure?
- Yeah. Go!

Oh, wait. Um, I found
your lucky lip gloss.

Somehow it ended up
in my purse.

Right on time.

Yes!

Surrender to Spittle.

It's locked!

It's over.

You've been in there
this whole time?

Yeah. I'm in need of
major bladder relief

so you might
wanna stand back.

So what did you think
of your first crush party?

It was heavy. Crush?
Heavy? you know?

Got it. Ha ha.

I'm sorry about
all the weirdness...

No, you're just worried
about Ashleigh, it's fine.

I just... Yeah.

She's an amazing girl...

Great personality, unique
fashion sense, smokin' body.

She's gonna make
some guy crazy happy.

Maybe they'll even get
married on a reality show.

- They could invite
the pregnant man.
- They could, yes.

Though by then, he probably
wouldn't be pregnant.

But, the point is,
she'll be fine.

You should add cheering
people up to your resume.

Under special skills.

I should.
Right below kissing.

You're hired.

- Night.
- Night.

Casey.

So... what
should we do now?

- You're still here.
- Where's your keyhole?

- I changed the doorknob.
- That can't be fair.

Senior Stockades has
no rules, so, ipso facto,
there is no fair.

Well, then I guess you won.

Oh, hey, come inside.
I have something for you.

What is this?

The Suicide Prevention Hotline.
They're open 24 hours.

I'm not suicidal.

Oh, good. I've heard
that's a ton of paperwork.

I'm just looking for a reason
to be a Polymer scientist.

They have a hotline for that?

My reason's Kevlar. You can
borrow it if you want.

You're in Polymers?

Yep. First time I knew it,
I was in my dad's tire shop,

where I worked on weekends.
I was trying to tear apart this

thread of Kevlar from a tire.
Which, of course, you can't

because it's
indestructible.

And I actually cut my
hand up pretty badly.

And it dawned on me that
some guy just created this.

It was a guy and a girl,
actually. Stephanie Kwolek

and, uh, Roberto...
Whatever, my point is

someone thought to take
the tiniest of particles

to create something
far superior to anything
that's naturally forming.

Like Silly Putty.

Incredible stuff, huh?

Consider it your reward
for almost getting in.

I'm impressed
you didn't give up.

I guess I can't
walk away from a puzzle.

Which is why you're a
scientist. And that's why
you're a Polymer scientist.

OK, time to go.

No way! You worked for NASA?!

- Come on.
- So you must be a genius, huh?

Yeah, I guess so.

All right, it's a mixed bag.

Stevie Dobler won't budge
on the "serving alcohol
to minors" thing,

but if you don this shirt
every Thursday,

he'll comp us nachos
for the rest of the year.

Free nachos dipped
in salt and grease

and covered in sour cream
and, Lord, am I hungry!

- Cap.
- Look, I'll give you
some more stuff, I'm...

Cap, my parents just called.
They're getting a divorce.

I'm sorry. I bet going back
inside would cheer you up.

Give me a straw, and I'll drink
apple juice through my nose.

That's it?

I can also burp
The Star Spangled Banner.

Wha...

You want me to go with you?

I don't think lemon drops
can fix this, Cap.

♪ It's just a crush ♪

♪ 'Cause there's someone else ♪

♪ And he knows your name... ♪

You up for eating
some feelings?

What happened with
Hot Ness... I mean, Drew?

Let's just say...
I'm not Frannie.

He's into Frannie now?

He needs to, seriously,
make up his mind.

No, he was
walking me home

when I saw Frannie
kissing her new boyfriend.

And it dawned on me.

What's got me
so ticked off about Frannie

isn't that
she's with Evan.

It's that she chose
the possibility

of a relationship with a guy
over our friendship, and...

I was in
the process of doing

the same thing to you,
with Drew.

No, Case, really.
It's fine.

Drew's a great guy, and
he's totally into you. Not me.

He didn't even
remember me.

What? That's impossible.
You're unforgettable.

- Apparently not.
- You are to me.

Ugh! And there is
no guy on Earth

dreamy enough
to come between us.

Come here.

- Except, maybe, Christian Bale.
- Or Johnny Depp.

Oooh, yeah. Johnny Depp.

For you.
Totally for you.

- May I have some?
- Of course.

Sometimes you have to wake up
and smell the coffee, you know?

You're smiling. I take it
you're done processing?

It's been processed, packaged,
and put on a shelf.

So we're friends again?

Absolutely not.

What does that mean?

Evan cheated on me,

and lied to me and tried
to manipulate me, Frannie.

By dating him, you're
basically saying that's OK.

You're choosing
him over me.

- I don't see it that way, Case.
- I don't care, Fran.

So, um...
What happens now?

What happens to
Big Sis, Little Sis?

We're sisters
forever, Frannie.

We're just
no longer friends.