All language subtitles for Greek S01E20 A Tale of Two Parties 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-CRUD_track3_[eng]

Previously, on Greek:

Whoa. I'm not interested in
being anyone's warm body.

I'm gonna go tell Casey I'm an
idiot and I want her back.

I'm done, Evan.
Finally ready to move on.

What if I was less
of a jealous idiot?

Then I think
we could be friends.

Casey wants us to be friends.
And, I said I was on board,

but, I don't think I am,
at all.

I'll pay you $500
to stay away from Casey.

- Calvin Owens?
- A dude sent you flowers.

Calvin, you like
Michael, right?

Screwing up is what
college is all about.

Learning from your mistakes.

- Time!
- Had Cappie
been allowed to extend

his rare moment of lucidity,
you would've realized he was
right.

- The restrictions
have been lifted!
- A toast to Evan Chambers!

You're really not making
much sense, Rusty.

Oh, my God.
This is weird to like

and not like somebody
at the same time.

Are you as turned on
right now as I am?

- How about a movie?
- We could watch a movie here.

You don't have a TV.

Oh, right.

We can go to dinner?

I had a late lunch.

Let's take a walk?

I'm trying to cut back.

You know,

Emma won't be back
for a couple of hours.

We don't have to go anywhere.

It's not about have to.
I thought you might want...

Nope.

We got enough for some bread,
peanut butter,

maybe a couple bags
of Cheesaritos,
and three cases of Sandusky.

That's all? We should
raise our dues.

There might be change under the
TV room couch but Gonzo and his
girlfriend slept there ...

Say no more. We'll leave it
for future generations.

Hey guys, wait up!

- Sorry I'm late.
- We thought you weren't going
to make it because of your date.

- Oh, my "date" took less time
then I'd planned.
- A lover's spat?

Well, that'd require talking.
'Cause all Tina and I do is,
well, you know...

If you can't say it,
you really should not
be doing it.

- Sex.
- Yeah!

Usually guys are
a lot happier in these
situations, Spittoon.

It's not that I don't
like it, it's just...

...it's weird. I guess
she's my girlfriend,

but I don't even know her
middle name. Or her last name.

- If you don't talk, is she
technically a girlfriend?
- What else would she be?

- More like a friend
with benefits?
- No, no, no.

No, "friends with bennies" talk.
The girl talks, usually
complaining about other guys.

Which makes Rusty
a booty call.

- That's only if she calls him
for late night drunk sex.
- Gentlemen.

Gentlemen, Spitter is none
of the above. He is, instead,

the embodiment
of every man's dream.

You, my very lucky
little friend,

are now officially
a Fff...

...Fun Buddy.

Fun buddy.

- Hey, make sure we got
one more case of vodka.
- You bet.

Loading up on wine coolers
for your American Girl
spring fashion party?

We're celebrating the end of
Dean Bowman's restrictions,

and since I was the one
who made it possible,

we're throwing a six-way
tomorrow night.
All the best houses on campus.

We seem to have
lost your invitation.

All right, guys,
load up.

You used my argument.

And it was my argument that
got the restrictions lifted.

Right, well, unfortunately,
that's too long-winded
to fit on the invitation

you're not getting, so...

Well, you all know
what this means!

We should rush
a rich kid next year?

Two houses will enter the ring
only one will survive.

Cap, it takes weeks of careful
planning to create chaos.

- There's not enough time.
- Not to mention money.

It doesn't matter.
A great party's not about money,
it's about a vision.

It's about faith.

- How do you spell "brunette"?
- "B-R-O-W-N."

Genius. My thumbs
say thank you.

What are you doing?

Dating is a numbers game,
so I'm making hot guy folders

in my address book before the
Omega Chi party tomorrow night.

And since we no longer
have to deal with 11:00 PM
curfews or noise limits...

The time is ripe
to meet a ton of hot guys,

get their phone numbers,
and organize them,
then pick a winner.

- Gimme your phone.
- Oh, no, thanks.

My hot-guy targeting
skills suck lately.

Jailbait Jonah,
Shun-me Shane...

So, what? You're just
gonna spend the evening

making small talk with your
new "just-a-buddy" Evan?

No, I'm totally going
after guys tomorrow tonight,

but I decided to let
the universe work for me.

According to the book
I'm reading,

that's The Secret
to getting what you want.

You focus, send out
positive energy...

and the guys
will come to you.

If you say so.

I'm sticking with
the tried and true.

And I'm going to think about
what would make me happy.

We ran
out of hot water!

You'll be happy to know
that the water heater will be
fixed later this afternoon,

Which leads us to tonight's
six-way at the Omega Chi house.

Whoo!

We still need
two Sober Sisters

to stay in and make sure the
rest of us get back home safely.

And Betsy, I was
kind of hoping
that you'd volunteer

considering how much "fun"
you've had at past events.

Miss the first party
without restrictions,
are you kidding?

Just get some of
the pledges to do it.

Are there any pledges not
planning on going to
the Omega Chi house?

- We're not.
- Really? That's so great.

- You and another sister...
- We're going to the
Kappa Tau party.

The Kappa Taus are
having a party tonight?

They are, they're the only
ones who risked having parties
with us when no one else would,

I think we Zetas Betas
should go to their house
as a sign of solidarity.

Well, while we can all applaud
the KTs for making a stand,

a sloppy drunken one to be sure,

we did officially accept the
Omega Chi invitation, so...

Case, I'm a little confused.

That doesn't mean there's a rule
that we all have to go, does it?

- Um...
- I'll get it.

No, of course not,
um, it's just that

perhaps we should schedule

another function with the KTs.

- Like... putt-putt.
- Putt-putt?

On, uh, oh!

Tuesday night, three weeks
from now. Yay!
Meeting adjourned.

It's your little brother.
Should I tell him
you'll talk to him later?

No, now is perfect.

- What's going on?
- I'm having trouble
with a girl.

Really. What's the problem?

Sex.

Come on, Casey,
This is a bad idea.

And talking to your sister
about sex isn't?

I'm desperate. I need
the female point of view.

I'm a female.

- OK.
- If it gets too weird,
you have my permission to leave.

Happy to help.

So, you're wondering if it's
too soon to get intimate?

What? No. Tina and I
are way past that.

Oh, wow. Wait...

- you no longer like her?
- Honestly, I don't
really even know her.

Tina and I are fun buddies.

Ohh... ooh.

You're not here to brag,
are you? Because that
would just be weird.

No, what I am
is just really confused.

What if I'm using her?
Do girls do stuff like this?

"It can be emotionally taxing
to have uncommitted sex,

so once in a while, have a
truthful talk with yourself."

Wow. Did you just
make that up?

April 2005,
Cosmopolitan Magazine,
American Edition,

author Ian Kerner,
noted sexologist.

I've read every issue from
cover to cover since I was nine.

That's impressive.

So, do you both
want the same thing?

Well, Tina seems
to really want this,

and, um, the sex is great.

Eww, no bragging, remember?

But... something's missing.

It was different with Jen.

Rusty, girls can enjoy
this kind of a relationship

just as much as guys.

But the real question
isn't just what Tina wants.

It's what you want, too.

Maybe it's just me,

but, uh, selling blood for beer
doesn't seem like a good idea.

- Are you kidding,
we have three kegs.
- And low blood sugar.

Which only means we'll
get drunk faster. I think
of that as a "win-win."

It's not going to make
any difference anyway,

I mean, three kegs,
it's not gonna get us
past the pre-party.

Which is why we scheduled
entertainment.

Beaver, how's the
Jell-O wrestling coming?

One of the Jell-O wrestlers
turned out to be allergic
to gelatin,

which means we're left with
87 boxes of strawberry powder

and 18 cans
of mandarin oranges.

- There's always the other wrestler.
- Two is art, one is just weird.

It's not too late
to call this off, Cap.

Never.

Ben Bennett, I'm putting you
in charge of the Jell-O shots.

But, we're out of vodka.

Well, just use water.

You can make Jell-O
with just water?

I don't know. Experiment
and hope for the placebo effect.

Oh, just the Cartwright
I'm looking for.

I'm all yours, Cap,
as soon as I get back
from the dorms.

I have to tell Tina
I can not see her anymore.

- It's her.
- I can't let you do that.

Cappie, I know you think
I'm crazy, but I have to
get out of this.

It might be everyone's dream,
but it's not mine,

and not doing anything is just
making me all... itchy.

Relationships you end in person.

Sex friends you let fade away.

If you treat casual sexcapades,
which is what you and Tina have,
like a relationship,

you're just gonna end up
making both parties feel
embarrassed and awkward.

- But I can't just ignore her.
- That's exactly what you do.

You let her call a few times,
you ignore the calls,

she'll eventually realize
that you're a scumbag,

and she'll, you know,
move on to somebody better.

- Whoa! Wait. Now I'm a scumbag?
- Ah, but a scumbag
with dignity.

But never fear,
redemption is at hand.

- Ice.
- Ice?

We need three bags.

You might find some
change if you fish
under the couch pillows.

What the...?

- Casey, um, can I
talk to you for a sec?
- Sure.

It's just a little
free advice.

Frannie, you know you can
always speak your mind.
You were a great president.

Well, mostly great.

Tonight's party isn't just
about having a good time,

it's about not disrupting
our very delicate relationship
with the Omega Chis,

which would be
seriously undermined

if Rebecca and her pledge
sisters went somewhere else.

If you allow
even a tiny...

Oh, hold on.
Rebecca, Mandi?

Remember, Sober Sisters
help any Zeta Beta in need.

And don't eat the ice cream on
the left side of the freezer.

That's for me
when I get back.

Night, Sisters.

I'm sorry. You were saying?

- I was saying, Brava.
- Let's go! Let's go!

♪ She's in a rock
and roll band ♪

♪ I'm in a rock
and roll band too ♪

I think this
might've been a mistake.

What was?

Inviting Michael
on our first date

to a fraternity party
filled with hot guys.

I don't think you
have anything to worry about.

But I do.

It looks like all the Pledges
made it to the right party.

Imagine that.

Ladies. Just to let you know,

we have two fully stocked bars,
the dance floor is filling up,

and if anything goes wrong,
please, don't bother telling me,

because I'm going to be busy
having a good time.

I'll drink to that.
Excuse me, girls.

I think there's a margarita
with my name on it.

- So, you're having a good time?
- Yeah, so far.

Good. Because I want you
to have a good time.

I mean, I want us both
to have a good time.

It's a party.

Hey, no cuts! OK? What'd I tell
you about cutting in line?

- Huh? Captain Cuts-A-Lot.
- Excuse me.

What's your deal?

Positivity initialized
with the ex.

Positive energy going out
to the rest of the party.

Hi.

Ah, Ryan Prince.

The cutest sweetest,
smartest, pre-medest...

Most unavailable guy here.

Yeah. Maybe you can send
positive energy his way,

and then send
negative energy toward his
skanky Tri-Pi girlfriend.

Unfortunately, I don't
think The Secret works that way.

Then I'll stick to
the traditional approach.

- Thinking happy thoughts.
- See you around, Sister.

Calvin!

Can I talk to you
for a sec?

Starting now,
you're off pledge duties.

I want you to keep an eye
on Casey tonight.

- Excuse me?
- OK, let me rephrase.

Can you keep guys away
from Casey, as quietly
as possible, tonight?

I know you still
have a thing for her, but...

Calvin, why do you think I'm
doing this? Parties are
the perfect way to reconnect.

There's drinking, dancing,
darkness and just enough time
for things to happen naturally.

If I make a move too fast,
it'll freak Casey out.

I need you to keep
the field clear
for a little while.

- This doesn't sound
like a good idea.
- I'm not asking as a friend,

I'm asking you
as your big brother.

I'll do what I can.

All right.

Stop here. Stop here.

Stop here! Ahh!
Not stopping here.

I bet people are just
being fashionably late.

Ah-ha! More party goers!

Everyone, look alive!

Drink, drink, drink, drink!

How many?

Fourteen.

Whoa!

Ben Bennett said
he put in placebos,

- but I'm not feeling it.
- Me neither.
Maybe we should go faster?

Good thinking.

Hey, how long
until I become a scumbag?

Give it time, Spitter.

It's a good party,
though, huh?

This is not a party,
this is a get-together.

Pretty soon, someone's
gonna bust out a deck of cards

and suggest that we play
a rousing game of Pinochle.

Hey Cappie, we're almost
out of beer.

OK, think.
We need beer.
We need girls.

We need girls who
can't hold much beer.

Dorm girls.
We need dorm girls.

Hoover, Stork,
dorm sweep. Let's go.

- You know,
your phone's ringing.
- It's Tina.

I want to tell her
I can't do this anymore,

but Cappie told me
not to do anything.

- Gave me the same advice
when I was seeing this Tri-Pi.
- What happened?

She set my car on fire.

I don't have a car.

You got nothing
to worry about.

You know, you can break up with
a fun buddy over the phone.

Yeah, you see, I'm not exactly
that good over the phone.

You just need some practice.

Wait.

You be you,
I'll be Tina.

All right.

Rusty, I'm waiting.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

- Hello, who is this?
- Hey, it's Rusty.

Rusty who?

Just kidding.

So, uh, are we gonna
get together later?

I'm so lonely
and you're so good,

especially when you do that
thing with, you know...

I don't think we should
do this anymore, Tina.

So that's it?

You get me to sleep with you,
then you treat me like dirt.

Like I'm some
piece of meat?

- No... I just feel...
- You are such a pig!

I hope you burn in hell,
Rusty Cartwright! I hate you!
And I'll hate you forever!

I think you need more practice.

Jell-O shot?

No way, I had Allesandri
last semester, too.

So who'd you do the mid-term
heroes project with?

That part really blew.
Uh...

So, at the last second,
the TA tells me I have to
write it by myself

- because of some new guy
that showed up.
- Huh. Weird.

Oh!

- Oh! I'm sorry, man.
- That sucks.

- Here, let me
help you with that.
- Dude, dude, dude, dude.

I got it, thanks.

- I'll be right back.
- Oh, OK. You go get cleaned up.

I'll show him where
the kitchen is.
Sorry, Casey.

- Hey.
- What's up, Ryan?

Think happy thoughts,
think happy thoughts.

Hey, Casey! Casey!

Hey.

♪ You know I can't take
that you get a man alone ♪

Hey, you're late.

- I was worried.
- I was grading papers.

On a Saturday night?

Now I finally understand
why you like it here.

You're like a moose shy
of an Abercrombie ad.

No mocking, remember?

I'm kidding. I just...
I don't have a lot in common
with a bunch of fraternity guys.

Uh, I'm a fraternity guy.

You're a fraternity guy
interested in me.
It's different.

Damn. Uh, hey, uh,
why don't you go get a drink?
Be right back.

I didn't know
there was so much
to fantasy baseball.

Oh yeah, it's complicated,
more complicated
than managing a real team.

I spend most weekends
researching triple A shortstops,
home/away splits, OBPs...

- Ooh, Omega Chi/Lambda Sig
boat race.
- But I was just...

Gonna chicken out?

- No way, man. I'm totally in.
- No way!

Great party, huh?

- All right, let's go.
- Go!

Merlot, please?

You know this is
a fraternity party.

- Michel?
- You're...

Glad you could make it.

Evan Chambers, Freshman year,
French 101. You were my TA.

Yeah, of course.

- You don't remember me?
- I'm sorry, not at all.

All right. That's all right.
I'm Calvin's big brother,

and just so you know,
I'm OK with it.

- With what?
- My B minus.

French wasn't my thing.

Michel, dude!

♪ Just the way we like ♪

♪ We are America's sons ♪

♪ With a little twist
and a little buzz ♪

The universe has
unreliable taste in men.

How's your approach working?

Six guys' phone numbers,
wow.

and I even made out
with one of them.

- Hey! There you are!
- I can't remember which one.

A blonde guy, I think.

Tell you the truth, this whole
"happy thoughts" thing...

Might be working.

Hey. Casey?

Ryan.

Where's... Kaitlin?

Um... We broke up.

- Oh.
- Yay universe.

Tonight sucks,
and I for one,

am not going to trade in
one set of restrictions
for another.

But we're pledges.

As the daughter of a politician,
let me tell you,

it is better to beg forgiveness
than ask permission.

Wait. What are you doing?

I'm going upstairs to slip on
some party clothes...

after I tell our pledge sisters
to meet us at Kappa Tau.
Are you coming?

Hi Rusty.
Tina here, again.

Call me back when you have a
chance. Talk to you soon. Bye.

Cap, the kegs are floated, man.

What are we
gonna do now?

As black clouds portend
a deathly storm,

we are but simple sailors
on a single mission,

to save that which
we hold most dear.

Cappie, I think I speak
for everyone here.

- What are you talking about?
- We have no money,

no money means no alcohol,
no alcohol, no party.

But, I have a plan.

To make money?

To steal the alcohol
and the party.

Fellow adventurers,
it's time for us
to implement...

The douchebag...

...bag.

- I like it.
- Yeah!

♪ You ain't gonna
be here five minutes, boy ♪

- ♪ Start the bus
start the bus ♪
- ♪ We came to win ♪

- ♪ Start the bus ♪
- ♪ If you ain't came to win ♪

Good Lord.

It's like we died
and went to Gossip Girl.

Cap, I gotta go
to the bathroom.

Didn't I tell everyone
to go before we left?

- Yeah.
- Pee quickly.

That must've been hard.
You and Kaitlin were
together for so long.

Too long. I know this may
sound cheesy, but I think
every relationship

has a lifespan.

Once it's over,
you can't bring it back.

It's not cheesy.
But it's still hard
to let go.

Same for you and Chambers?

Yeah, it's more...
...the story of my life.

- It's hard to let go
of old relationships.
- Yeah.

For us, things just got worse,
and before I knew it,

the fat lady was
belting out an aria.

I didn't know
Kaitlin could sing.

- Remind me not to get
on your bad side.
- It's very small. I promise.

That was pretty funny.
♪ Kaitlin sing ♪

Calvin, um, I'm seeing
more of you tonight

than I have... ever.

It's just
so nice to catch up.

Ryan, uh, would it be possible
to get me a drink?

- A beer?
- Yeah! Two, please.

Sure.

Light!

What's going on?
You've been buzzing
around me all night.

Oh, no, I... I just, you know,
think we don't get to, um...

- ...sort of, you know...
- Yeah?

Um...

I think
your stealing all
the mens for yourself

and that ain't fair,
girlfriend.

I'm out. You're on your own.

♪ Every time we goin' big ♪

♪ You know it
We play to win ♪

Uh, I think your little brother
might have just lost it.

Yeah, well, um,
you know,

I think he's a little
nervous tonight. First visit
to the house with a date.

- Oh.
- But, I'll talk with him.

Are you having
a good time?

Yeah, actually I'm
having a great time.

Um, how about you?

Almost too busy
to notice. But, um...

Listen, when things
kinda calm down,
you wanna have a dance?

- Friendly, you know.
- Sure.

- I'd love to... dance.
- Sure.

That's it.

I'm this way.

- ♪ Crank it! Crank it! ♪
- ♪ Start the bus
Start the bus ♪

♪ You know it's dance time,
playa, break up the crowd ♪

♪ So give me the crown ♪

♪ I'm the MVP and
I'm shuttin' them down ♪

♪ So crank it up crank it up ♪

Hey, I'm sorry
about earlier.

- It's kind of hard to explain.
- You don't have to.

♪ Start the bus
Start the bus ♪

- Whoo!
- ♪ Start the bus ♪

Who's gonna start the bus?

Uh... you know if you're
not comfortable being here,
we can always leave.

No, look you made it through
the gay and lesbian film night
at the Titan,

I think I can get through this.

Maybe I need another drink.

Uh, I'll have a...

Sorry, we're out...
of everything.

- Refills?
- Sure.

♪ I watched you
rock my cradle ♪

♪ But alas,
never could complain ♪

♪ You always did
come out and play ♪

Uh, Cappie? What are
you doing here?

- I just came
to buy you a drink.
- One's already on order.

While we're waiting,
I was wondering why
no one from your house

is at the KT party tonight.

Well, for one,
the Omega Chis sent us an
invitation three days ago.

We would've, but Beaver
couldn't find his crayons.

Not to mention you threw yours
together at the last second.

Didn't seem to be a problem
when you wanted us to help
you with the Gatsby party.

Where were the
Omega Chis then?

We made our peace with
the Omega Chis, I'm sorry if we
seem like fair weather friends,

but I'm sure we can work
something out with the KTs,

maybe in three weeks,
bring your golf clubs.

Sounds great, as long as you
don't make Rebecca a Sober
Sister that night, too.

This has nothing to do with you
and Rebecca. This is...

...about your problem with Evan,
which I can't do anything about.

- So don't put me
in the middle of your feud.
- Feud? What feud?

Boys.

Oh! I need to pee.

- The line starts down the hall.
- I need to pee now.

- Hey, no cuts!
- I have a bladder infection!

What's your name?

Uh, Rusty.

Your phone's ringing, Rusty.

Yeah, I know, it's just this
girl I need to break up with.

I love break-ups.
What is she?

Relationship, casual date,

random hook-up, booty call?

- She's a fun buddy.
- A f...

Oh!. Well, that's an easy one,
send her an e-mail.

It's quick, to the point,
personal without being
too personal,

- easily deleted.
- Really?

Really.

Thank you.

C'mon, Spitter. Come on.

- Be right back.
- You got it?
- Yeah.

That's so funny.
I was actually worried
about talking with you.

Why?

We've both always been
in relationships and,

OK, this may sound
a little stalkerish but,

even when I was
dating Kaitlin

I always wondered what
it'd be like to date you.

And after so much pressure you
didn't want to ruin the fantasy

if reality didn't measure up.
I felt the same way about you.

It's like a Seurat painting,
getting too close
is not always a good thing.

But... not tonight?

No, no... tonight,

up close is perfect.

Hey, have you seen Michael?

Uh... I haven't
seen him for a while.

- You OK?
- Yeah, oh, yeah, I'm fine.

Look,
all right, I'm sorry

- if I screwed this up.
- It's not your fault.

It's mine.

What're you
going to do now?

I'm, I'm gonna
get a drink.

We have returned!

Rebecca, you look hot.

And you look oddly...
clean.

Don't worry,
it's only temporary.

- Can I make you a drink?
- OK.

Hi.

Hey.

So, uh, I guess
I'll see you tomorrow?

I don't know, will you?

You've been avoiding me
most of the night.

Look, I'm sorry, I've been
busy with pledge stuff.

But, you've been acting
like this is the last
place on earth you want to be.

I mean, if you're worried
about the guys, don't be.

They're not homophobic.

Homophobic?

I'm not worried
about that.

Calvin... I'm the
oldest guy in this room.

What are you
talking about?

I was in first grade
when you were born.

When I had my first legal drink,
you were still in middle school.

And now, I'm in
this fraternity party...

With someone who is
finally old enough to not
care about the differences.

Well, considering how you
ran around all night, you have
a weird way of showing it.

I know it.

You know, I planned
a much different evening.

I was kinda hoping
we could talk and drink,

and then, uh, I could
sneak you off into
a quiet corner and, um...

- Discuss my age issues?
- I was thinking something
a little more personal.

♪ Possessing all the features
I've predetermined ♪

♪ To objectify ♪

♪ Effortless and rubenesque ♪

♪ Yet so perfectly-ly aligned ♪

♪ And beauty
is the ease required ♪

♪ For you to understand ♪

♪ That single frame
of animation ♪

♪ I think you know ♪

♪ I think you know ♪

You look, uh,
not so good.

I can assure you, it's nowhere
near as bad as I feel.

How's, uh, Project
Reconciliation going?

Thank you. Um...
I did my best.

You tell her
how you feel?

Mm-mmm.

I was far more
devious than that.

I had Calvin keep guys away from
her so I could make my move.

And how's that
working out for you?

Uh... Not as well as
it did the first time.

- Remember Shane?
- Yeah.

You know why he stood Casey up
after the Mr. Purr-fect contest?

'Cause I paid him
to leave her alone.

Pretty smart, huh?

Yeah, uh,
brilliant.

Hey, I distinctly remember
you telling me

to take fate into
my own hands.

Evan, um...

Maybe instead of trying
to keep all the guys
away from one girl,

you should find a girl
who thinks you're
the only guy in the room.

Guess it's all about timing.

And the right
frame of mind.

Yes, totally.

Whoo!

- Whoa, steady there.
- I'm Betsy!

Yes you are, and
you need to go home.
Did you call Rebecca?

Yes, I tried,
and I tried, and I tried.

- OK, um, sorry.
- I wanna go home.
I wanna go home.

Hey, you're really cute.

Ooh.

Do you want some of this?

It's going straight to
voicemail. Rebecca must've
taken off.

Um, if you want,
I can have some of my pledges
walk her home, or...

Thanks, but, um
I need to take care of this.

I bet you give
really good physicals.

You want some company?

No, um, I have to
go kill my little sister

and I'm not sure I want you
seeing that side of me yet.

But, um, I'll be back. Promise.

There's no more
booze in here anyway.

Paging Dr. Prince!
Paging Dr. Prince!

Rebecca and Mandi went AWOL.

Yeah. Come on.

Uh, it looks like fate might be
on your side after all.

"Hi Tina.
How are you?

I'm fine.

Hey Tina,

while I've really
enjoyed seeing...

Thank you for the..."

President Cartwright!
You decided to come
to Kappa Tau after all!

Just to make a delivery.
Sober Sister, this is for you.

I'm sorry,
I didn't order this.

I'm not a this,
I'm a she.

Or a her.
I'm a she-her.

Not your choice.
You're the Sober Sister,

it's your responsibility to take
care of the girls in the house

and I need to get back
to the party, so...

I'm not entirely sober,
either.

Well, all right,
it's only about

what's good
for the house.

- And Betsy.
- And what's good
for you, right?

What's good for me right now
is this guy I just met
at the Omega Chi party,

- you screwed that up, too.
- I'm responsible for
messing up your love life?

- You've done it before.
- Oh, please!

- Are you allergic to gelatin?
- What?

Nothing. It's just something
a lot of us would like to see.

Cappie, would you
explain to your girlfriend

- a pledge is required to...
- I think this
has nothing to do with me,

this is your problem
with Rebecca, which I
can't do anything about.

So, don't put me
in the middle of your feud.

That's not good.

Clean up on aisle three!

I'm sorry that
I ruined your night.

You didn't ruin my night,
Rebecca did.

You just helped.

But I'm afraid this
might be your last party
for awhile, Bets.

- I need to lay down now.
- Casey?

Hey, uh, I wasn't sure
if you were gonna
come back to the party.

Yeah, I'm sorry
about tonight,

the snarky remark about
your ex-girlfriend,
the weirdness with Calvin,

- having to leave...
- Hey. It's OK.

I had a wonderful time.

- Really?
- Without a doubt.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

What happened to the alcohol?

Someone stole it.

I'm pretty sure
it was Cappie.

And you're not mad?

You know, it's the funny thing
about parties,

you can't predict
how they're gonna turn out.

Like relationships.

True. But, you know,
the difference is,

in the end,
parties don't matter.

♪ But I don't mind ♪

♪ I'm closer to you ♪♪

I think we were both right.

What do you mean?

I think you can
wish for things to happen,

but ultimately,
fate is a numbers game.

Even if you're in on The Secret,
you have to kiss a lot of frogs

before you can
find your prince.

Well, then that means
after tonight,

I'm three frogs closer.

Busy night?
I'm closer by one.

You kissed Ryan?

Oh my God, what was it like?
Fireworks? Parades?

Disney princess music?

He remained a frog.

So Ryan Prince is a frog?

He tried to catch a fly
in my tonsils.

Oh, eww.

I dated a poker once,

the whole time he was trying to,
like, jackhammer out my teeth.

- Ooh!
- I hate the foamers,

the ones with wet mouths?

It's like French kissing
a St. Bernard.

- Or the swashbucklers,
back and forth, back and forth.
- Oh!

I don't know why someone
doesn't come up with some
kissing rules,

so when you find the right guy,
there's never a surprise.

Bro, if all you wanna do is
tell this chick you're not
interested, send her a text.

- Really?
- Sure. Beaver,
help me out, here.

IJWTS,

UR, GR8.

- "- I just want to say you are great.
- " Good one.

SLJBF.

"So let's just be friends."

You're officially free.

I am. I'm free.

- I feel free.
- Punch?

I'm still ticked off you didn't
back me up with Casey.

- Sure I did.
You're still here, aren't you?
- That's not the point.

Someday you have
to make a choice,

like if Casey
and I were drowning,

which one of us
would you save first?

Neither, I can't swim.

But, Water Wings aside,

you know what
really bothers me? This.

This is still Evan's party.
Nice, well-behaved, clean.

A Kappa Tau affair is usually
screwed up in some sick,
depraved way.

But it's huge.
That's what you wanted,
right?

Size doesn't matter,

well, I mean, sometimes it does,
but this party it's not right.

That was fast.

I don't want to read it.
What did she say?

"Rusty, thanks
for letting me know.

By the way, I have crabs."

Now this, this is a Kappa Tau
party. Good going, Spitter.

Now, leave, and don't come back
for seven to ten days.

Eww, crabs?

♪ I need a shot ♪

♪ I need a shot of ambition ♪