All language subtitles for Greek S01E19 No Campus for Old Rules 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-CRUD_track3_[eng]

Previously on Greek:

Enough!

Clearly you people are unable
to regulate yourselves,

so from this day forward, the
university will do it for you.

As dean of students,
you'll answer to me now.

University students against
Greeks. Now's the time
to politicize my position.

- I had posters made up.
- Posters?

We gotta grow this thing, Dale.

I've got a hammer
and the rest of you guys
can just use your shoes.

Much as I disagree with U-SAG,
it's important to Dale.

I thought the goal is
to get rid of the Greek system.

It is.
Dale wants to do it his way.

We should mix
with those guys.

Guys or guy?

I'll pay you $500
to stay away from Casey.

- Like a buy off?
- Call it what you want.

- You get out of my face.
- How about $1,000?

- I don't think I'm up for it.
- Another raincheck?

I don't think so.

Oh.

Hold up, guys.

- Hey.
- Hey.

So, I was in the neighborhood.

I wanted to see if you could use
a study break, having coffee.

That's so funny.

I was just thinking
I needed some coffee.

- I know you well.
- You do.

Well.

Fluff up your pom-poms, ladies.

This weekend our very own Titans
are taking on the A&M Farmhands

in the basketball
conference championship!

There'll be tons
going on this week.

Starting tomorrow night with
the Spirit Social at Dobler's

and ending with
the game on Saturday.

Everyone, bring
your Titan spirit!

Whoo!

Actually, a few slacking
sisters didn't make
study hours this week

so they unfortunately can't
attend the Spirit Social
tomorrow night.

Mandi, Brenda and Rebecca.

Who will be missing two
of ZBZ's great traditions:

supporting our basketball team
and flirting with
our basketball players.

This is so not fair.

And it wouldn't be fair
if you enjoyed
the same privileges

as girls who've pulled
twice their weight.

Oh, speaking of
twice their weight.

Sorry, totally lost
track of time.
I was at Kappa Tau.

Where you've been
every time there were
study hours this week.

I have a 3.0.
What, I have to be
a Rhodes scholar now, too?

We'll be thinking of you
when we're brushing up against

our very hot,
very agile basketball team.

And the rest of you,
I'll see at Dobler's.

Hold on, sorry.
One more. An active.

- Ashleigh missed study hours
this week, too.
- Ash?

- Bedposts.
- Toughest roll in bowling.

Spitter, come here.

All right, you're gonna
want to hit the seven
pin at an angle,

and launch it
into the ten pin, right?

Can I have
an ibuprofen first?

No pain, no
ten bucks from Wade.
Now, strap in.

We are green for go.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Come on! Keep going.
- Come on!

Who told you? Ten bucks.

Hold up. What was that?
Was that the phone?

It's the call!

Nope, not the call.

Constable.
What seems to be the trouble?

You guys are over
the designated
Greek noise limit.

Noise limit?

Yeah. I was just
walking the Row

when this little guy
hit 82 D's right
outside your house.

I haven't seen readings
like that since
the Hannah Montana concert.

And I don't apologize
for being a fan.

It's... It's the middle
of the day!

Oh, yeah.

You boys
stay out of treble.

Treble. Good one. Ha!
Yeah, shutting the door now.

I just said treble
instead of trouble.

Yeah. Because
there's a B in it!

My God,
these restrictions!

What's next? We'll have to stop
throwing pledges off the roof?

Spitter, get it!

By the glory of God
and the ingenuity
of Alexander Graham Bell,

you have reached
the CRU chapter of the
Kappa Tau Fraternity.

- This is Pledge Cartwright...
- Spitter!

Pledge Spitter speaking.
To which brother
may I direct your...

No, just ask who it is!

Oh. Who's calling?

Mm-hmm.

We haven't won in 25 years.

Then we're due.

Was it the ticket office?

Yeah. We won
some kind of lottery.

Not just "some kind"
of lottery, Spitter,

but the best seats
to the conference
basketball finals,

where we will
paint our faces,
scream like idiots,

and embarrass ourselves
and our hallowed
alma mater on national TV.

- Courtside!
- Yeah!

How could you skip Study Hours
during Spirit Week?

Spirit Week doesn't
just happen, Case.
It requires planning.

Which means, as Social Chair,
I have to sit in meetings
with other Social Chairs

to discuss fresh, fun places
for Spirit Night.

Because I missed
study hours to do it,

my reward is an evening sharing
Cheesaritos and textbooks
with a bunch of pledges

while the rest of you
party all night.

Wait. I'll be all alone.

What if that Lambda Sig
ass-clown Shane's at the
Spirit Social tomorrow night?

- Who's going to shoot
dirty looks at him for me?
- I would've.

My grades are great.
Why do I have to do
stupid study hours?

Rules suck. In the house,
out of the house...

Remember when we didn't
have restrictions?

When we didn't have party patrol
stamping our hand that we're 21?
I know I'm 21.

Or keg limits. Or curfews.

I hate curfews!

I miss boys raiding our fridge
after parties.

You think they miss
our Hot Pockets?

I think I'm over all rules,
everywhere, ever.

You know what?
Screw it.

You've done our house
a huge service,
Ashleigh Howard,

so I'm granting you
a presidential pardon
on this week's study hours.

- Can you do that?
- Well, I'm doing it now.

I knew our friendship
would pay off big time some day.

Yeah!

- Hey, frat boy.
- Tina.

You OK
walking with the enemy?

Thanks to all my time
around Dale,

I'm learning to separate
the sinner from the sin.

You can't be spending
that much time with him.
I haven't seen you in weeks.

Did you miss me?

Maybe.

So, you probably
hate basketball

and think it's this
gender-biased boys' club...

I love basketball!

I actually play
a pretty mean
point guard.

Very aggressive.

- I'd expect nothing less.
- Hey, Rusty.

Hey, U-SAG flier?
Greeks are weak.

Fight the power, brother.

Hey, they're gonna trash
the leftover pizza
at the World Hunger Club

- if anyone would like some!
- Ooh, pizza.

I'm done for the day.

Sanjay... Carol...

You guys are faithless!

Looks like anti-Greek
sentiment has fizzled.

We just need a new approach.

Hey, sir, could I interest you
in a free stress test?

- Sure.
- So, why were you asking me
about basketball?

The Conference Finals
are Saturday.

I was thinking maybe
you'd want to go with me.

Where are you going?

- I'd love to.
- Great.
They're courtside seats.

We can paint our faces
or something.

How'd you get courtside?
Tickets aren't on sale yet.

It's this lottery thing,
for all the houses.

You mean, only the Greeks
were eligible?

No, I mean,
we can bring guests.

So, um... Hey, what if
we paint a "G" on my chest
and an "O" on yours?

Rusty, you might want
to rethink that.

Wait, why should your frats
be rewarded for exclusivity?

OK, because Greeks
have always been
the biggest supporters.

And if you think about it,
without our houses,
U-SAG probably wouldn't exist.

We should thank
polluters for spawning
environmental groups?

- Point, Tina.
- Which maybe
I should contact

since you decimated
half a rainforest
printing these fliers.

Nice volley, Rus.

The frats won't print
rush propaganda
next year? Interesting.

Bam!
This is like Wimbledon.

Oh, my God.

He's a divine messenger.

Cool.

Titans, halt.

Huh!

Hey, we're here
for our Conference
Championship tickets.

You might have heard
that, uh, Kappa Tau
is the winning house.

Kappa Tau...

You egged the Central State
team bus last year, right?

If we can expedite this,
we're late for Dobler's.

Oh, sure.

- Uh-oh.
- What "uh-oh?"
What's wrong?

- There's a problem
with the tickets.
- No, no, there should be no...

Can you check again?

This is kind of
the most important thing
that's ever happened to us.

- So...
- I'm trying.

- It won't let me release them.
- Well, uh...

- Give us the tickets!
- Beaver, whoa.

Beaver, hey, hey, hey,
calm down.
I'll take care of this.

I am so sorry.
Can you please just...

- Nice hat.
- I demand satisfaction.

Satisfaction?

Where are you going?

- It's Evan and Cappie.
- You're not dating
either of them.

Maybe one of them
will throw a punch.

I want our tickets!

Hey, guys. What's up?

Some, um, student group
complained

about Greeks being the only
students in the ticket lottery.

After talks with the dean
and consulting with
the other houses...

Skip to the part
where we get our tickets.

Since we're still working
to have the administration
lighten up on us,

we decided that making
an issue of the tickets now

could result in jeopardizing
the bigger picture.

Which means we could lose
the battle and the war.

Yeah. Our main focus has to be
on ending the restrictions.

And, as administration liaison,
I have the dean's ear.

- His rear?
- And what he wants
is for us to toe the line.

Now it's about
playing by the rules.

We have! There's been
no brawling, no hazing,

no drunken peeing
in the Olympic pool...

- I heard...
- We weren't drunk.

Look, Cap,
we play ball now,

down the road
we'll be in the position
to take back the reins.

- And the tickets.
- I don't want to play ball,
I want to watch it, courtside!

- This weekend.
- We're not sticking
our necks out,

and antagonizing the dean
and the Board of Administrators
just to free up your tickets.

Besides, from what I've heard,
the Kappa Taus have all
the tickets they can handle.

Evan.

Because the Kappa Taus
still remember

what it's like
to have fun.

- You know fun,
Evs? F-U...
- "N"?

Nope. That's it.

I learned so much
from that center
from Australia.

- Seven feet is
so the new six-one.
- I know, right?

Who knew it could be so hot
talking straight
into a guy's pecs?

Did I miss something?
Are study hours
no longer required?

We're talking, Becks.

Who had the biggest hands?
Number 22 or 46?

No, seriously.
Why did Ashleigh
get to go tonight

while the rest of us
sat around and
pretended to study?

As ZBZ President,
I pardoned her.

Ashleigh missed study hours
planning the social events.

- Not hanging out at Kappa Tau.
- With your ex-boyfriend?

- Which is totally irrelevant.
- Right.

What about the fact that
she's your best friend?
Is that irrelevant?

No one asked any of the
pledges if we had good
excuses for not going.

What are the rules
on a president showing
favoritism to her best friend?

- She's so awesome.
- I know. Right?

Hey, did you have anything
to do with the dean freezing
our basketball tickets?

No, that was more Tina's idea.
It's pretty great, huh?

Yeah, real great, Dale.

Rusty, U-SAG needed
an issue to rally people
and now we have one.

We've got 90 signatures
for a resolution

to abolish the Greek
ticket lottery altogether.

We'll present it
at the Board of
Administrators meeting.

Tina's out right now
getting more signatures.

Why can't you two just stop
your assault on the Greeks?

Rusty, from Dionysus
to your present-day
acolytes,

the Greeks have
embraced nothing but
sacrilege and lust.

- I can't stand by.
- These aren't real names.

What do you mean?

Look.

Colonel Mustard?
Butts McGee?

All right, this one's real.
Haywood Jablome.

That's not how you
pronounce that.

I mean, think about it.

All right, well,
there's some jokers on here,

but most of these are fine.

Can you believe it?
U-SAG's been reborn.

Resurrections rock.

It's Watergate
all over again.

I know. I still can't
believe she pardoned her
and we couldn't go.

- It's so stupid.
- Madam President.

- This is ridiculous.
I'm just going to apologize.
- Good idea.

I wouldn't if I were you.

OK, everybody, it's time
to clear the air.

I admit it,
I made a mistake.

So there's only
one thing I can do.

Resign?

Apologize. In my mind
I was making a small
exception for Ashleigh

because of the work
she was doing for the house,

and I realize now
it might seem unfair

to not give the same
treatment to everyone else.

So for this week,

I'm fully pardoning
the rest of the pledges.

I stepped over the line,

and abused my position as
president and I was wrong.

I screwed up.
And I'm sorry.

Accepted, Case.
No biggie.

Works for me.

Thanks, everyone.

Why would you discuss
the exclusively-Greek
ticket lottery

with the head of a group
that hates Greeks?

I was actually talking
about it to a girl.
I was trying to impress her.

She's part of U-SAG, too.

She's infuriating, but
she's really kinda cute.

Oh. Just like you, Spitter.

Has it occurred to you
that all the girls you like
hate the Greeks?

You should really talk
to someone about that.
But not your roommate.

Listen, Spitter,
don't sweat it, OK?

We'll just make a virtue
of this self-destructive vice
of yours. Follow your heart.

Stay close to Ms. U-SAG.
See what their next move is.

Be a spy.
Like Jason Bourne.

Or like the monkey in
Raiders of the Lost Ark.

- What're you gonna do?
- I'm gonna handle the other
part of the equation.

All right, now run along,
little monkey. Dean Bowman.

Oh, nice goat.
Very distinguished.

It's a Van Dyke.

How racy of you
to say so, sir.

- Make it quick,
Mr. Cappie, I'm busy.
- OK, all right.

OK, hypothetically,
let's say a bully comes along
and steals a boy's lunch,

- and now that boy
is real hungry.
- Tragic.

The bully shouldn't
be stealing lunches.

You agree that
the lunch be returned
to the rightful owner.

Absolutely. Unless
the rightful owner only had
the lunch in the first place

because
he had exclusive rights
to the sandwich shop.

No one said anything
about a sandwich shop.

- Maybe he made
the sandwich at home.
- Maybe.

But that wouldn't
fit the metaphor.

Are we speaking
metaphorically?

OK, OK.
We'd like our tickets back.

And now I'm kind of hungry.
I wouldn't mind some lunch.

The fate of the tickets
is in the hands of
the Board of Administrators.

Personally, I believe
the lottery should be
rescinded permanently.

The Greek system doesn't
deserve special treatment,

especially after
last semester's incidents.

- This is all part
of the new rules.
- Which are overkill!

Overkill or not, they're
the rules. And we all
have to live by them.

Otherwise,
there'd be chaos.

Chaos, huh?

Whoo! Go Titans!

No winning tickets
with a Greek-only lottery.

Thank you.

Oh, hey, Tina.
What a coincidence.
What are you doing here?

I had no idea
you'd be out here.
What are you up to?

Uh, getting signatures
to bolster our position
at the Board meeting.

What are you up to?

What makes you think
I'm up to anything?

Because you're acting
all nicey-nice.

You still want to go
to the basketball game
together?

Well, that's kind of tricky,
since I no longer
have any tickets.

And you know that,

because you're the reason
that I and...

...and my brothers,
we don't have any.

Well, you can still get
some. Just wait in line
like everybody else.

I don't care that much
about going to the game.

Then why did you ask me
to go with you?

You're really not
making much sense, Rusty.

Oh, my God!

Excited about the game,
Mandi? You going?

I don't know.

Well, you're totally free
and clear to go and have fun.

Thanks, Big Sis.
How presidential of you.

Can I skip study hours
next week, Casey?

I need to help plan
our philanthropy project.

- That sounds like
a good excuse to me.
- Mm-hmm.

I screwed up. I said so.
There will be
no more exceptions.

- Two wrongs don't make a right.
- Oh, but wait.

My boyfriend is gonna be
in town for a few days.

I want to spend as much time
with him as possible.

Is boyfriend time
a pardonable offense?

He's pre-med.
We could practice CPR
during study hours

then I could
teach it to the house.

Excellent!

OK, you guys, can't
we just let this go?

Yeah, sure.

I mean, it's not like my
love life is more important

than giving your BFF
the opportunity to ogle
hot jocks at Dobler's.

Thanks a lot.

Oh, pardon me?
You were saying?

Oh, thanks.
Good night.

Thank you.
Have a good evening.

♪ A little room
with a beautiful view ♪

♪ A simple reason
for being with you ♪

Oh, jeez.

Dean, you are way above
the Greek noise limit!

Ha ha ha ha.
Hysterical.

Now get out of here.

Before we do,
if you wouldn't mind
blowing into this

before you drive
your lovely date home.

I will not. What is this?

Oh, that? That's
a 500-dollar ticket.

In crayon?

I noticed you had
a keg in there.

According to campus regulations
you were supposed to check I.D.s
and pass out wristbands.

Everyone was over 50.

How'd you know
if you didn't card 'em?

We all need
to live by the rules.

Your exact words,
if I'm not mistaken.

Exact words.

Excuse me, Sloan.

And your solution to rules
you don't like would be...?

Change them?

You really willing
to do what it takes
to change the rules?

OK, but no kissing.
It's too personal.

If you want your tickets back,

come to the Board
of Administrators meeting
tomorrow afternoon.

- Present your case.
- Great, we'll talk
some b-ball.

Get our tickets back
before the game.

We're not just talking
about the ticket lottery.

- We're not?
- No.

I plan to recommend
that all the restrictions
be made permanent.

You argue
the Greek position.

If you can convince
the board, you win,
the tickets are yours

and the Greeks will get
all their privileges back.

And, uh,
if I don't convince them?

You lose it all. For good.

Good night.

Good night.

'Night.

Drive safely.

Thanks.

Well, nice work, man.

You made this a huge deal
when it didn't need to be.

- Must use last bomb wisely.
- Are you listening?

Now the fate of
the entire Greek system

is in the hands of a flaky,
alcoholic degenerate.

I am not an alcoholic.

I'm Skulltar,
intergalactic hero.

Look, I typed these up
for you, Cappie.

They're talking points
for today.

Consider them
damage control and a gift.

Do not need them.
I've got a gravity blaster
with an entropy shield.

I should be fine.

"Greeks provide housing
that the school
will have to make up for

should restrictions
drive students from rush."

The Chrilon
Nebula is the source
of all planetary grief.

Hey!

- All right.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, uh-huh.
- Yeah.

I think I'll be just fine
without your talking points.

Go paddle up your back
channel, Evan-escence.

Leave the up-front stuff
to me.

You're playing Fight Night,
Skulltar.

I am?

I don't even get
a "hello" anymore?

I'm gonna really have
to rethink this whole
friendship thing, Case.

I didn't even
see you there.

I guess
I'm a little distracted.

Go ahead, sit down.
I could use a break.

Oh. Sorry, I...

- Force of habit.
- It's OK. It's not mine.

Ha ha.

So, what are you doing?

Background check
on the professors on
the Board of Administrators.

Seeing if there's
any strings I can pull.

I might have to do
some influence peddling.

You really think Cappie's
going to tank this thing?

Well, the ZBZs will be
in the front row
to show our support.

Yeah, no offense,

but I think the ZBZs
should probably
lay low on this one.

Just 'cause we don't want
to remind the board where
all the restrictions started.

Right. Rules suck.

- Yeah.
- I think we should make
a rule against rules.

- You would have my vote.
- I could use it.

I sort of made this presidential
decision that the girls
aren't too keen on.

Rebecca called me out
and the reaction
has been crazy.

I apologized,
but no one's buying it.

- What'd Frannie say?
- You're not serious.

I know Frannie's made
some pretty big mistakes,

but she and I talked a bit
during the ZBZ days.

She actually gave me
some really good advice.

People can surprise you.

- Hey.
- Hey, yourself.

Behold, Rusty.
The U-SAG heart beats strong.

Hey, Sanjay,
give me my phone sheet.
I'm gonna roll some calls.

U-SAG, Greeks are weak.

- I'll get the phone sheet.
- Yeah, thank you.

Dale, this is our room,
not yours.

I'm trying to calculate
how much funds we have
for a media buy.

Sorry.

Dale, why are you
doing this to me?

More boldface.
Go crazy with the boldface.

To you? Rusty,
this is for you, OK?

The way I see it,
I'm saving your peeps
from eternal damnation.

I'm your own personal
"Get Out of Hell Free" card.

- Why are you wearing a suit?
- It's for my speech.

- Your speech?
- We got 300 signatures.

I am the vessel through which
those voices must be heard.

Um, Frannie,
can I talk to you?

Of course. What's up?

I was hoping I could
get some advice
about the house.

Absolutely.
Anything I can do.

It's about the whole
study hours debacle.

Some of the girls are
starting to dismiss you?

- Disregard you?
- Yep.

Case, there's a reason
why bees have a queen.

Otherwise, it's just
a big hive mentality.

The girls are starting
to question your authority

and you need
to stop the swarm
before they revolt.

You're saying
I've lost control?

You will if you keep trying
to win them over with honey.

You're the president, poodle.
You're not one of them anymore.

But how do I turn
this back around?

I said I was sorry
publicly.

Did President Ford
apologize for
pardoning Nixon?

No.

Do you think you were wrong
to pardon Ashleigh?

Not completely.

Then stop apologizing.

They want their
pound of flesh.

Hell, they'll take
every pound you give them.

But they don't need it.
One pound is all they get.

Set up a forum,

let them vent,
and then shut them down.

Vent, shut down.

You can't show people
where they need to go

if you don't
step out in front.

Admit it. A little humble pie
now and then is good
for Princess Cartwright.

You know my stance
on Ex and Becks fighting.

I know,
you're Switzerland.

That's a big no
on the headdress,
Pocahontas.

Oh, come on. I'll score points
with the anthropology professor.

Hey, Spitter,
what do you think?

Native American headdress
or Scottish kilt? Maybe both.

Forget the costumes,
Cappie. You need to
focus on your speech.

Because U-SAG is gaining
some serious traction

and Dale's gonna be
speaking for them against
you at the meeting today.

- Well, I'll just
have to go naked, then.
- Welcome to 40 minutes ago.

This isn't a joke, Cap.
Dale's got a secret weapon.

You've never
seen me naked.

It's this girl, Tina.
She is relentless, man.

She's constantly disagreeing,
taking the opposite position,

saying these
really annoying things

in this gratingly
reasonable tone with this

chestnut brown hair and
this all-innocent smile

and these amazingly
intense eyes that
just lock onto you

like she's trying to bend
a spoon, and she wears
this hypnotic perfume...

Oh, my God, just have
sex with her already.

- I'm about to puke.
- Sex with her?

I'm gonna kill her!

It's perfectly reasonable
to be attracted to someone
you can't stand.

- Rugh?
- Oh, not you, sweetie.

What my little siren
is saying, Rus,

is the only way you're
gonna get Tina off
your mind, is if you...

...do something about it.

Like what?

Well, uh, a date is
a good place to start.
Why don't you go buy her a malt?

He's really hopeless.

- Just like his sister.
- I'm Switzerland.

What do you think
of this, huh?

- That's not mine.
- I know, it's mine.

I gathered everyone who may
still have issues about the...

...study hours situation,

so that each of you
may have a chance
to air your grievances.

- And the cat is here why?
- Let's call this
"a kitty passing."

This is your chance
to speak with impunity.

Like the conch
in Lord of the Flies.

Whoever holds Pussywillow
the Cat speaks.

Everyone else listens.
Say your piece,
then pass her to the next girl.

- Laura, we'll start with you.
- Thanks.

I think that what you did,
Casey, was awful.

You undermined my office
of Scholarship Chair,

and you infected this house
with a cancer from which
it may never be cured.

Proud to be a Zeta Beta.

Well, I think Laura here
should get a boyfriend

or a hobby. Unless looking
for a boyfriend is her hobby.

- Bite me!
- I've got the conch!

- Everyone, sit down now!
- She started it!

- Because you trashed Casey.
- Because Casey messed up.

- Wait your turn.
- I spoke with impunity.

- I spoke with impunity, too!
- Ash, it's OK.

Shut up!

- Sorry, Casey.
- This is so lame.

Yeah, I guess only actives
get to shout.

What's that smell?

Oh! Pussywillow!

- You had Pussywillow
last. Your fault.
- My fault?

Yeah!
That should be minus hours.

Girls!

Everyone has had their say.

- Well, I didn't.
- That wasn't a question.

We're moving on. You can start
by putting these chairs away.

Study hours are still
mandatory. For everyone.

Check the letters
on the front of the house.

This is Zeta Beta Zeta,
the best house on campus.

Don't act like anything less
ever again.

Rusty, hi.

- What are you doing here?
- I brought you a malt.

Look, Rusty, if you're here
to get a preview
of Dale's speech...

- I'm not.
- Then why are you here?

To bring you a malt.

I don't think so.

- Why do you think I'm here?
- You tell me.

No, because whatever I say,
you'll disagree with it.

Is that a problem?

Should it be?

Are you as turned on
right now as I am?

You smell good.

- Are you sure?
- Shut up.

I'm OK...

This is why we must picket.

Lose the Greeks
and their tickets!

Greeks deserve to have some fun.
Babes and courtside, number one!

Greeks deserve to have some fun.
Babes and courtside, number one!

This is why
we must picket.

Lose the Greeks
and their tickets!

Donna Martin graduates!
Donna Martin graduates!

Donna Martin
graduates!

So, what do you do
when a system,
a society, doesn't work?

Do you just allow it
to consume itself,
to take down those around it?

No. You fix it,

but not by
turning the job over

to the very same men
and women who destroy it
in the first place.

Thank you, Mr. Kettlewell.
Your remarks were
insightful and...

It makes me wonder
what God would've done
in a similar situation.

Like, I don't know,
Sodom and Gomorrah?

Our next speaker
is Mr. Cappie.

Then the Lord rained down
fire and brimstone, turning
their cities to ashes

and condemning them
to destruction."

- I'm just paraphrasing Genesis.
- Mr. Cappie, are you ready?

That's right,
the big G flew in, cleaned
house and took names.

You know what, if he can smite
a sodomite every now and then,
why can't we do the same?

Why can't we make
our world a better place
by getting rid of them?

Sodom and Gomorrah,
fraternities and sororities,

Greeks and goblins,
Cheech & Chong,

these are the same
hippie lettuce smoking
enemies of righteousness

that we should ship right back
to old Scratch himself!

Return to sender!
Yeah!

Hey, I was great.
That was great.

Mr. Cappie?

Two minutes.

Strangely, I agree with
the crazy person here.

We Greeks can often be
irresponsible and reckless.

But I don't regret
anything I've done and
neither should anybody here,

because screwing up is what
college is all about.

Learning from your mistakes
and all that.

Yet, if you deny us
our chances to fail now,

it's gonna be a lot harder
for us to play catch-up
in the future.

Honestly, what's worse,
hooking up with
Dean Bowman's secretary now

or fooling around with
your boss' wife later on?

Let's take you,
for example.

You look like you might
have been interesting
a long time ago.

You'd know, if you
hadn't dropped my class.

But even if I stuck around,
wouldn't you agree, no
matter how great your class,

it would still be
a very, very small part
of the college experience?

- Yes, maybe, but...
- Time!

We will consider your
presentation, Mr. Cappie.

Uh, Dean Bowman,
I'm not finished yet.

Sorry. The rules.

Dean Bowman,
as Greek liaison

I'd like to be allowed
two minutes to speak?

Fine, Mr. Chambers.

I was gonna talk about
housing, philanthropies,
student funds,

but I'm realizing that had
Cappie been allowed to extend
his rare moment of lucidity,

you would have realized
that he was right.

Professor Hebert,
in school you founded
Student Anarchists Disunited.

If the government was looking
over your shoulder, you'd
chain yourself to a building.

Because S.A.D.
stood for something!

- Like loyalty,
friendship, brotherhood?
- Yeah!

Professor Adams,
you went Psi Phi at CRU

and became a campus legend
when you put A&M's cow
in the bell tower.

That's an interesting way
to start a career as
a world-renowned zoologist.

And let's not forget
another significant figure
in this room,

who back in the day...
Well, let's just say
he majored in, um,

psychoactive horticulture?
He was evicted from three
dorms in a semester.

If anyone needed
24/7 restrictions,
it would be this guy.

What if he wasn't allowed
to make those mistakes,
and there was quite a few.

Would he have spent
his entire life overseeing
the well-being of young people?

I mean, would you...

...Dean Bowman?

I think
we've heard enough.

Meeting adjourned.

...heading to the North,

where we're two hours away

from the A&M Farmhands
meeting up with the CRU Titans.

This game has huge
playoff implications.

Everybody, listen up.
The restrictions
have been lifted!

Congratulations.
Somebody's riding high.

Not high enough, though.

I may have saved the Greek
system, but unfortunately
that includes the KTs.

It's a small price
to pay.

I mean, you're a hero.
And a great advisor.

Thanks to your
recommendation,
I consulted Frannie,

and she was instrumental
in helping me regain
trust, authority,

- and control at the house.
- Oh, great.

- You suggested I talk to Casey?
- Yes, I did.

Well, thank you.

Here's to everything
working out for the best.

A toast for getting
those restrictions
off our backs.

To Evan Chambers!

To Cappie!

No restrictions
and awesome
basketball tickets!

Courtside seats, baby.

Spitter, you had sex!

How do you do that?

Well, it's a gift
and a curse.

It's weird to like
and not like someone
at the same time.

Yeah, tell me about it.

♪ Now no one is laughing ♪

♪ And no one is laughing
It's gonna be long time ♪

I still don't like her.

Thank you.

♪ Long time ♪♪

Hey.

How you doing, Dale?

In the wake of today's
landmark decision?

- I've disbanded U-SAG.
- I'm sorry and I'm not sorry,

if you know what I mean.

Yeah, it's all right.

I mean, but it wasn't
really working, anyway.

Hey, you hear that?

It's your speech.

Yeah.

Somebody must've put it
on the Internet.

...both the enemies
of righteousness

It sounds like they're really
responding to it next door.

Sure, Dale.

So, you must be thrilled.

A big victory for the Greeks,
you don't have to deal
with Tina anymore.

Kettlewell. Hey, Tina.

You missing
the cause already or...

What?

Yeah, hold on.

She wants to talk to you.
Are you guys friends
or something now?

Not exactly.

What a game.

Hey, Beaver, remember when you
dropped your pants at halftime?

That was you.

Oh.

Hey, what's harder
to believe?

That we lost?

Or that Bowman used to
smoke the hippie lettuce?

Although,
I thought his eyes
seemed red once.

That's only one more reason
he deserves our respect.

He was
a formidable opponent.

Everyone, can I have
your attention, please?

This to Dean Bowman,

this one is for you.

I got it.

Wait, uh...
Beaver... Beaver, don't...!

Something's on fire.

Oh, son of a...