All language subtitles for Ghost Stories Graveyard Thriller 1986

( wind blowing )

( wolf howls )

( keyboard playing )

( wolf howls )

( wolf howls )

A grave is a solemn place,

needs taking care of,

the way this meathead
is doing.

My brother-in-law,

Phillip Benedict, M.D.,

world-famous shrink,

book on the best-seller list,

intellectual.

Well, if he's so smart,

what's he doing out here
in the middle of the night

fussing over
that funny-looking grave?

A friend lies buried here,

a friend I knew
for only a short time.

The story
I'm about to tell you

is really his story.

My name is
Phillip Benedict, M.D.,

psychiatrist by profession.

Perhaps you read my book

"The Open Door."

In it, I stated that
most mental institutions

for the handicapped
bred mental illness.

I believe that only

with supportive
outpatient therapy

could a handicapped person

become functional again
in society.

I was called in
as a consultant

by Dr. Anton Verescu.

Dr. Verescu had a private
sanitarium in Ohio.

All of his patients
were severely deformed.

They were in fact...

freaks.

I flew to Ohio and was met
at the Cleveland Airport

by Marian Spencer,

Dr. Verescu's head nurse.

I sensed a certain coldness
in the woman.

On our way
to the sanitarium,

she broke the silence.

"I know of your work,
Dr. Benedict,

and I heartily disapprove.

Putting slightly
handicapped people

on the streets
is one thing,

but Dr. Verescu's patients
are deformed

in mind and spirit
as well as body.

They cannot,

should not be placed
into society."

I recognized a fanatic

and realized
any reply on my part

would only
excite her further.

It was a long
and uncomfortable drive,

but we finally arrived
at the sanitarium,

a huge, forbidding,

castle-like building

surrounded by desolate bogs.

The place had
an unusual history.

Ms. Spencer explained.

"The house was built
over 100 years ago

by an eccentric millionaire.

Had a very young,
very lovely wife."

He lived in constant fear
that she might leave him.

He built the house here

on an underground lake.

He drilled holes
in the property

so the water table rose,

surrounded the entire house

with a veritable marshland
of bogs and quagmires.

It drove
all the nearby animals

up into the house,

especially the rats.

We've always had
a problem with rats.

We still do.

But the patients know
about the marshes.

They do not wander far,

especially at night.

The land here can be quite
as dangerous as quicksand."

Dr. Verescu greeted us
at the door.

( chuckles )
"Welcome to my little home.

Oh, Dr. Benedict,

I'm so excited
about the possibility

of what you can do here.

Oh, come on, meet everyone."

He introduced me to Arnold,

who had no legs...

...but two pairs of arms.

"Oh, let me take
your suitcases, Dr. Benedict.

( chuckles ) Don't worry.

My second pair of arms

are quite as strong
as most people's legs."

And he lurched off
on his arms

like some great spider.

Next, there was Clarabelle,

a huge, hunchbacked woman

more froglike than human.

She offered me a flower.

( grunts )

It was at dinner that night

that Dr. Verescu
first mentioned Billy.

"Ah, Billy.

He's the most fascinating
one of all.

You really must come
to the cellar and meet him.

( laughing ) The cellar?

Oh, not my idea, really.

Billy prefers it
down there."

As we descended
steep, narrow steps

into a large,
stone-walled cellar,

Dr. Verescu told me
Billy's story.

"Before I bought
this building,

it was a boardinghouse.

A young, lovely girl

who taught school at nearby
Hilldale High School

came here to stay.

One night, she woke
to a scratching in the walls.

She listened.

It sounded like mischievous
children at play.

Then suddenly a hole
appeared in the wall.

Through it, she could see
sharp, crooked teeth

and small, feral eyes.

Tiny claws
scraped away the plaster.

A rat was gnawing its way
into her bedroom.

A long, gray-white figure
slithered through the hole.

Then one after another
followed,

dropping with soft plops
on the carpet by her feet.

She stared about
the dark room in terror.

She could hear
unseen scurrying
all around her.

She jumped back in bed and
pulled the covers over her.

( rats squeaking )

That's when
the nightmare began,

for under the covers

she felt
a warm, furry movement

against her leg.

Tiny claws dug
into her thighs.

They hurled away the covers.

Something ran
across her body.

A serpentine tail
slithered over her breast.

Tiny claws
clutched her hair.

She felt a searing wetness

of a small tongue
burn her ear.

She tried to scream,

but a great,
gray-white furry thing

flung itself about her neck,

its eyes peering
into her eyes,

its mouth screeching
by her mouth.

The rats were all over her,

clothing her
in claws and fur.

She tried to arch her back
to throw them off,

but their weight on her
was too great.

( squeaking stops )

They consummated their fury
there in the dark."

"Are you saying they
sexually assaulted her?"

"Yes,

and Billy is the offspring
of that unholy mating."

"But the product
of a cross-species coupling

could not survive."

"See for yourself."

And Dr. Verescu
opened the door

to a small fruit cellar.

There was a pallet of straw

and some children's
furniture in the room.

In one corner
stood a large screen.

As we entered it,
I saw a long, pink tail

disappear behind the screen.

I walked over to it.

"Billy, I'm Dr. Benedict.

I've come here to work
with Dr. Verescu.

I'd like to be your friend.

Won't you come out
and talk to me?"

Moonlight streaming from
a window behind the screen

silhouetted
a small creature there

crouched on all fours.

"No.

Stay here.

Nice, dark."

"Billy...

you can't stay
in the dark forever."

No response.

"Billy, I'd like to come back
tomorrow to see you.

Uh...

I'd like for us
to be friends.

Is there anything
I can bring you,

anything you'd want?"

And the creature
on the other side of the screen

stood up on its hind legs

and pressed its face
against the screen

to whisper to me.

I could hardly wait to--

to find out
what he would ask for.

"Mama?

Mama?"

I reached out my hand

to touch that twisted little
face behind the screen...

and felt wetness...

the wetness of tears.

In the following weeks,

I talked to Billy
again and again,

but I could never coax him
from behind the screen.

I told Dr. Verescu

that Billy needed
more human companionship.

He needed to know that he
was accepted as he was.

I asked Dr. Verescu
about Billy's mother.

He said she had
abandoned him at birth,

and he swore he did
not know who she was.

Somehow,
I did not believe him.

Well, my programs
were put into effect.

Some of the patients

even went out to work
at jobs during the day.

Arnold got a job
at a shoeshine stand,

an extra pair of arms
a definite asset.

Everything was going well.

Everyone's spirits
seemed to soar,

everyone but Ms. Spencer's.

"Ms. Spencer, I wish you'd
come with me to visit Billy.

I know he would enjoy having
more people around him."

"I never deal with Billy."

It was several weeks later

that I awoke with
a premonition of danger.

My heart was pounding.

The smell of smoke
had awakened me.

I ran downstairs to see
the source of the smoke.

One of the old wall furnaces
had caught fire.

The old cripple that was
in charge of lighting them

was beating clumsily
at the flames with a small rug.

With a sudden spurt,

the flame leapt out
and enveloped him.

He became a human torch
lurching about wildly,

setting fire
to everything he touched.

With a mad dash, he jumped
through the front window

and fell
onto the ground outside.

Oh, Dr. Verescu
and Ms. Spencer and I

tried to rescue
as many patients as we could.

Arnold jumped from
the second-floor roof

and breaking his arms
in the fall

and rolling about,

shrieking like
some demented Humpty Dumpty.

Clarabelle fled off
into the night in a wild panic.

Ms. Spencer ran after her.

I called out,
"The bogs! Be careful!"

Then I heard
an ominous splash.

I ran into the darkness.

By the pale moonlight,
I could see Ms. Spencer

up to her knees
in the dark waters.

I ran to a nearby tree and
pulled off a heavy branch.

When I returned
to the bog's edge,

I saw a small, pale,
naked child dancing there.

He turned
pleading eyes to me.

It was then I saw the...

snout and whiskers...

...and realized
I was seeing Billy clearly

for the first time,

without the screen
between us.

But there was no time
for Billy.

Ms. Spencer had sunk

up to her hips
in the dark waters.

I tried to get
the branch to her.

She grabbed hold. I pulled.

The branch snapped in two.
Billy squealed.

Ms. Spencer sank
way up to her waist
in the dark waters.

Then, before
I could stop him,

Billy leapt into the bog
after Ms. Spencer.

He tried
to grab ahold of her,

but the--
he was not strong enough.

The bog began
to envelop them both.

I stood there
unable to help,

watching in horror
as the dark water

swirled higher about them,

till only their heads
were visible,

and they clung
to each other,

each gasping
for one last breath,

and then as that
quavering blanket of mud

swallowed them, they spoke
one last word to each other.

Billy cried out, "Mama!"

And Ms. Spencer
held the child to her

and said, "Son."

( keyboard playing )

Mother and son
are buried here.

I saw to it they were
buried in the same coffin.

But it was a closed casket.

Billy would have
wanted it that way.

Now mother and son

are at peace together...

...forever.

I hope you folks

learned something
from this last story.

A rat is a pathetic

and misunderstood critter,

not a mean bone
in his slippery little body,

not like the critter

Cousin Mary's interested in.

She ought to take that fox

and trade it in on a skunk

and drown the skunk.

( wind blowing )

I often come here
to be near to him.

I never tell my father and
my brothers where I'm going.

They'd never understand.

I'm not sure I understand.

You see, I know what he was.

And yet he was the only man

that-- that ever seemed
to be in love with me.

And he did seem
to be in love with me.

I never went out on dates
in high school,

and so I was glad
when school was over

and I could stay home with
my father and my brothers.

They never seemed to think

that I was different
from the other girls.

I guess that's why
they kept inviting

all those young men
over for supper.

They wanted them to want me,

and, of course,
none of them ever did.

And then one night,

they brought him,

Mr. Fox.

( sighs )

The first time I looked
in that handsome man's face,

I knew he'd never even
make it through supper,

but he did.

And he listened
to every word I said.

And he didn't
even flinch when he--

when he looked at my face.

Oh, I blessed that Mr. Fox.

It was the first time in my life
that I ever felt normal.

It was a miracle.

It was the first time
in my life I--

I started thinking
about marriage and children.

And if you think
I was happy,

you should have seen
my father and my brothers.

And then...

Mr. Fox would come

every night.

Night after night,
he wanted to be with me.

And then one night, he said,

"Mary, we never have
any time alone together.

We're always with your father
and your brothers.

Why don't you come
to my house tomorrow?"

Of course I said I would.

I would have gone anywhere
with that man.

Then the next day,
I woke up,

and-- and I was scared.

There were a whole lot of girls
missing in our town.

My father and my brothers,
they were deputy sheriffs,

and they kept
talking about it,

so, well, I was kind of
afraid to go out all alone,

so I decided to stay home.

That night,
Mr. Fox didn't come.

My father and my brothers
said I did something wrong,

and-- and they kept
asking me questions,

and I kept denying it.

So the next day,

I had to go see Mr. Fox.

He would understand.

I would tell him
I was scared,

and he would take me back.

So I went to his house,

and it was exactly
the way he described it,

down this steep,
deserted valley.

So I knocked on his door,

and no one answered.

So I went in,
and there was nobody there.

I climbed
up the sweeping staircase,

and there was
this door at the top.

I reached out.
I didn't want to open it,

but I was so curious,

so I opened the door.

And there they were,

all of those poor girls,

all wrapped and bloody
and hanging on meat hooks!

I was so scared.

I ran, and then I heard
this bloodcurdling scream,

and I looked,
and there was Mr. Fox,

dragging this poor girl
up the stairs.

And she ran from him

to the top of the stairs,

and she had her hand
on the banister,

and he just got there!
He was so quick!

And I ran
into this closet to hide,

but I could see
through the keyhole.

She had her hand
on the banister,

and he just took out
this knife,

and he just
whacked off her hand!

I saw it falling
in front of the keyhole.

And then she fainted,

and he took her into the room
with the rest of the girls,

and I just ran.

I just ran off!

I had to tell my father
and my brothers.

They'd know what to do.
They were policemen.

So I waited
for them to come home,

and then I told them

Mr. Fox isn't
what he seems to be.

They wouldn't believe me.
Do you know what they said?

They said,
"You're an old maid,

and you want to be
an old maid.

You're pushing away the one man
who ever wanted you."

They wouldn't listen to me,

so I had to think
of a way to prove it.

Well, and that night,

Mr. Fox came
knocking at my door,

and he said, "Mary,

you didn't come over
the other night.

Don't you like me anymore?"

And I said,
"Oh, my dear Mr. Fox,

I wasn't feeling well,

and I had no way
of telling you.

Well, I don't want you
to be angry.

Won't you please
stay for dinner?"

And he stayed.

And after dinner,
I said, "You know,

I had the strangest dream,
Mr. Fox,

and it was about you.

Do you mind
if I tell you about it?"

And he said,
"No, of course not."

I said, "You know, I dreamt

that I went to come see you
at your house,

and nobody was there.
I knocked.

And I came in,
and I went up the stairs,

and there was this door
at the top of the stairs.

Didn't want to open it,

but there was something

that compelled me
to turn the knob,

and I did,

and there they were,
all those missing girls,

all dead
and hanging on meat hooks."

And you know
what Mr. Fox said,

trying to be so calm?

"Oh, Mary,

that wasn't a dream.

That was a nightmare."

You know what I said?
I said, "Mr. Fox,"

even calmer than him,

"that wasn't a dream.

That wasn't a nightmare.

That was true."

( sniffs )

And my father
and my brother

didn't even
have to say a word.

They just jumped on him,

and they dragged him
out back, out to the valley

and to the old oak tree,

and they hung him.

And those are the last lies
you'll tell to any woman,

my Mr. Fox.

That Mr. Fox
had more women's clothes

than your downtown Macy's.

Sister Mary had a hell
of a garage sale

after we hung him.

Least she got something
out of the engagement.

Never did
get that gal hitched.

She'll be
nine years older than God

'fore she finds
the right man.

Ghost?

Ghosts don't bother us
up here

at Tuesday Hill Boneyard.

Nah, ghosts is nice folks.

Come up here
and take residence

in one of these
six-foot bungalows

and put on
that wooden kimono,

and they're through,
and that's that.

No, it's the mourners
that cause all the trouble

and the tourists,

yeah, and the kids up here
on a Saturday night dare

and the winos

and the weirdoes, like...

...like Cousin Sandy here.

Yeah, she ought to be glad

to get out of here
while she's still alive,

but no.

"The plot's paid for,"
says she,

and she's staying.

"Ain't nothing again' it
in the contract.

I'm homesteading," says she.

Says she's going
to be up here till--

till her husband comes along

to take up the lease.

Sandy:
I used to be pretty.

( chuckles )

It's hard to tell now, but--

but I was.

I was pretty enough

that he married me.

First, I thought
he loved me.

Oh, I liked all them
pretty things he gave me.

Then I realized
all them pretty things

was just so I'd look good,

so that-- so that other men
would be jealous of him.

I was just
something he owned.

After a while,
I got to wondering

why he didn't just shoot me

and stuff me.

Well, he could
wheel me around.

He could put me
wherever he wanted me to be.

( wind blowing )

And then one morning,
I got up,

and I looked in the mirror,

and I saw those lines
around my eyes.

And it wasn't long after
that I noticed his eyes.

( chuckles )

And his eyes,
they were following

every pretty girl
that came into the room.

And then he stopped
coming home at night,

and I knew where he was.

I also knew that--

that it was
just a matter of time

before he threw me out,

like an old dog.

And then the fever came.

( chuckles )

Folks was just lying down
and dying,

and I got it.

I woke up one morning,

and I was all running
with sweat,

and I could hardly get
my head up off the pillow.

I kept calling his name...

...but he didn't come.

See, he's afraid he was
going to get it from me.

So was the cook
who took care of me.

I don't know how many days
I lay there,

and then one morning,
I woke up,

and I was cool,

and I knew
I was going to live.

Well, I called his name...

...but no sound
came out of my mouth,

and my lips didn't move,

and when I tried to lift
my head up over the pillow...

...my muscles wouldn't work.

I couldn't even
move my eyes.

And then the cook
came in, and--

and she was yelling
that I was dead.

Well, he stuck his head
in the door...

...and there was
such a look of...

relief on his face.

I thought,
"Oh, no, I'm not dead.

You get a doctor."

Well, they did.

They got a doctor,

and I lie there

while that quack
said I was dead.

And then the cook,

she started
putting this dress on me,

and I thought to myself...

"They're not really
going to bury me."

I lie there terrified

when four of his friends
came in

and picked me up

and carried me out
into the parlor and...

laid me in that casket.

I could feel the satin

all around
my neck and shoulders.

And they left the lid up,

so I could see the flowers
and the candlelight.

And then my husband came

and bent over me

and kissed me like he cared.

If I could have
moved a muscle,

I would have bit
right through them lips.

And then they
picked me up, and--

and they carried me
out of the house,

and I knew where
they were going to take me.

They were going to take me
up on the hill...

...to the graveyard.

All the way up that hill,

I kept shouting at him
inside my head.

I kept saying,
"Please, this is wrong."

But they didn't stop,

not till they got
to the top of the hill,

and when they stopped,

you know, I--
I could feel 'em

easing something
underneath that coffin,

and-- and I knew
what it was.

I been to funerals.

And then they slowly

lowered me down
into that hole.

( wood creaking )

And it didn't stop
till I felt that bump...

...when I hit the bottom
of the grave.

And then I--

I just kept screaming

and screaming
inside my head...

...till I heard
that first shovelful of dirt

"Oh, God!

They're going
to bury me alive!"

I don't remember
what happened next...

...till I woke up.

See, I was gasping
for breath,

and I was all sweaty,

and then I realized,

"There's not much air
in here,

and I better take
real shallow breaths

and just pray that somebody
comes to save me."

So I just-- I just lie here

taking shallow breaths
and praying harder

than I've ever prayed
before in my life.

And that's when
I heard the shovel,

and I knew
it was my husband.

In spite of everything
he'd ever done,

he did care about me,

'cause he knew I was alive,

and he was digging me free.

I just lie a-waiting
to look up at his face.

But when that coffin lid
came open,

that wasn't
my husband's face I saw.

That was some old drunk
I'd seen around town.

Now, how could
that old drunk
know that I was alive?

And then he was ripping

at the necklace
around my neck

till I heard the chain snap.

He hadn't dug me up
to save me.

He dug me up to rob me.

And then he was pulling
at the ring on my finger,

but my fingers
were all swollen,

and the ring
wouldn't come off.

And then I saw that...

knife in the moonlight.

He was going
to cut my finger.

I felt the stab
of that knife,

and-- and then
I just screamed!

The pain of the knife,

it snapped me
right out of it.

I let out that yell,
and I sat up in this coffin,

and-- and that man--

( laughs )

That man, he leaped
out of this grave,

and he ran like a rabbit.

Oh, if he'd only known.

I wanted to bring him back
and kiss him.

He'd just saved my life.

Well, now I wanted
to get on down the hill

and let my husband know
that I was alive.

So I got up
out of that grave...

...and I came on
down the hill.

The house was black...

...'cause it was
the middle of the night.

When I got down
to the front door,

well, I started
banging on it,

and suddenly
an upstairs window opened,

and he stuck his head out.

He was just
about to yell at me

when he realized who it was.

Then all of a sudden,
he let out this yelp,

and he slammed that window.

I said, "Get on down here,
and let me in!"

Well, it took him
an awful long time

to get down them stairs,

and when he did,
he didn't open that door.

Next thing I hear,

he's shoving furniture
up against it.

Well, I went over
to the window,

and I started banging
on that window.

I said, "It's cold out here.

Open up that door!"

Next thing I know,

he's shoving furniture
up against the window.

And then
I can hear him in there,

and he's...

jabbering about ghosts.

Well, I thought,
"I'm no ghost.

Open up this door."

That's when I heard

the woman's voice
answering him.

So I-- I came back
on up here to my grave.

I just sat here for a while

trying to figure out
what I was going to do.

And then it came to me,

and I knew exactly
what I was going to do.

See, I got a real good view
of the house

from up here on this hill,

and every time that man

sticks his head
out of a door or a window,

why, I just come
down this hill,

flapping and moaning,

and he leaps
right back into that house.

By the time
I get done with that man--

( laughs )

I tell you true,

one of us is really

going to be ready
for this grave.

( laughing )

Hey, you want to see
one honey of a gravestone?

Well, do you?
Well, keep your shirt on.

Look over here at this one.

I take particular care
of this one,

'cause it belongs to one
of my favorite relatives,

Uncle Albert.

Uncle Albert was particularly
fond of this monument,

'cause it was kind of quiet
and off in a corner,

just like Uncle Albert
when he was alive.

'Cause, you see,
Uncle Albert was a hermit,

and he lived
in a little shack

out behind Papa Keel's farm.

Now, folks in that
backcountry part
of North Carolina

said Albert was
"tetched in the head,"

but, to me, he was a marvel.

'Cause, you see,
Uncle Albert

taught me
all the manly things.

He taught me how
to track game in the woods

and which plants
you could eat

and which ones
would kill you.

And Uncle Albert taught me

how to shoot
a .22-caliber rifle.

But the day come

when I had to prove
my manhood to Uncle Albert,

'cause, you see,

the woods and fields
around that part

had become infected
with a blight

of supernatural phenomena.

Just the night before,

Uncle Albert
had seen a shadowy form

slipping out
of Papa Keel's barn

with something
under its arm,

and when we went out
to investigate,

one of Papa Keel's
newborn lambs was missing,

and then we went out
into the light

of the full moon
and on the night air,

we heard a hideous
baying sound like--

( howls )

And then we looked,

and there,
there on the ground,

was footprints,

big old monster footprints.

It was the sign
of the werewolf.

The very next morning,

Uncle Albert looks me
right in the eye

and says, "Bobby boy,

today's the day
you prove you're a man."

And then he took
that old, dilapidated

.22-caliber single-shot rifle
off its peg on the wall,

and he rummages
around in a box

till he comes up with
a silver .22-caliber bullet.

He says,
"Go find that werewolf,

and bring it home."

I say, "Uncle Albert,
how do I find it?"

He says, "Dumbbell,

if they put your brains
in a jaybird,

it'd fly back'ards.

Go out, and pick up
them tracks in the soft ground,

and follow them tracks
till you come

to the last pair
of them tracks,
and look there.

There'll be a werewolf
standing in 'em.

Shoot him, and bring him
home for supper."

I took that .22-caliber
silver bullet

and stuck it in that rifle,
and off I went,

stepping high and proud
as a rooster in deep mud.

I followed them tracks.
I came out of the woods.

I looked across
the cow pasture,

and sure enough,
there on the other side

was that werewolf
bending over

and eating something nasty.

But it was--
it was too far

for me to get a good shot.

I'd have to sneak
across that cow pasture.

Folks, there are two ways

to sneak across
a cow pasture.

The first way
is to look ahead

at where you're going.

The second way
is to look down

at what you are
about to step in.

I was not looking down.

The next thing I knew,

my foot hit into something
real slickery.

Both feet went out
from underneath me.

I landed
right smack on my butt.

The rifle discharged.

The bullet sped
up into the air

and plowed
right through a whole flock

of vampire bats
that was flying over,

knocked down
about two dozen.

Vampire bats was a-falling
and a-screeching

and a-flapping to beat all,

scared that werewolf
plumb away.

But I didn't mind,
'cause Uncle Albert

just as soon eat
crispy fried vampire bat

as soon as some
smelly werewolf.

So there I was
picking up vampire bats

and a-sticking 'em
in my pocket

when, all of a sudden,
I heard a noise...

- ...a hideous roar.

I looked over
in the woods, and--

and there, coming out
of the woods at me

was a-- was a monster.

I-- I can barely stand
to describe it.

It had the body of a lion

and eagle's wings
growing out of its back

and the face of a woman

and a big old mouth
full of teeth.

It was a sphinx monster,

and it was coming
right for me.

I turned to run
the other way, and--

and there, coming out of
the woods on the other side,

was another monster.

This one was a great big,
old, tall green thing,

all made up of different
human body parts

all sewed
and bolted together.

It was
a Frankenstein monster,

and it was ugly.

( music stops )

It was so ugly,
it could squat

behind a pine tree
and hatch monkeys.

- I was caught in between 'em.

I didn't know what to do.

The sphinx monster
got to me first.

Its mouth was wide open.

I didn't know
what to do. I--

I stuck my arm
down its throat.

That surprised it.

But it had
that whatchamacallit,

that momentum, and it
kept coming up my arm

and kept coming up my arm,

and I kept pushing
and pushing

until my hand
popped out its other end.

That really surprised it,

so it started
to back up real quick,

and I just grabbed on
real tight

and pulled
as hard as I could,

and, folks, I snatched
that sucker inside out.

Repulsive.

That inside-out
sphinx monster

went a-galumphing off
through the woods,

but I didn't have time
to savor my triumph,

'cause just at that moment,

Frankenstein reached me,

and he put his big old
clammy green hands

around my neck, and he said,

"Say your prayers, boy,

'cause I'm going
to eat you up."

So I got down
on my knees to pray.

- "O Lord,

thou knowest that when
I killed Count Dracula

and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

that I did it
out of self-defense.

And thou knowest, O Lord,

that when I cut the heart
out of Godzilla

and strewed the ground

with the brains
of Jack the Ripper

that it was forced upon me.

And now, O Lord, I am forced

to put this poor,
miserable green critter

back into his coffin.

O Lord, have mercy
on his soul."

And then I got up
real reluctantlike,

started opening up
my barlow knife.

I looked over,

and Frankenstein
was scared to death.

He was just a-shaking
all over like a wet dog.

He was shaking so hard,

little body parts was
falling all off of him,

ears a-and fingers
and nuts and bolts.

I bent down and picked up
one of the bolts

and put it in my pocket,
and I brought it here today

for you folks to see,
just in case

you don't believe
I was telling the truth.

Then I looked
at Frankenstein,

and he was so sorrowful,

like to broke my heart.

So I patted him on the head

and gave him a hankie
to blow his nose with,

and he looked up at me
with them puppy-dog eyes,

and I knowed
I'd made a friend for life.

So me and Frankenstein

sat down on a log
to chew a little fat,

dip a little snuff.

Let me
tell you folks something.

Your Frankenstein
ain't your little pinch

between your cheek and gum
snuffer.

No, sir.

Your Frankenstein
is your flat-out,

low-slung,
bottom-lip-full dipper.

So there we was,

just a-getting
to know one another

when, all of a sudden,

a big shadow falls over us.

- It was the werewolf.

And there he was,

a-rising up out of the grass
and coming at us real slow

and grinning
like unto a possum.

( gasping )

Well, that werewolf
had fangs

as big as a rattlesnake,

a-and when one
of them critters bites you,

first you turn blue,
and then you turn yellow,

and then
your hair falls out,

and then your fingernails
fall off,

and then you're
dead as a doornail

'fore you can take
two steps,

and the only way
to keep him off of you

is to drink lots of whiskey,

which is why they have
so many drunks

in that part
of North Carolina.

But me and Frankenstein,

we didn't have
no whiskey on us that day,

and we knew
we were in for a fight.

Oh, it was
a knock-down, drag-out,

toe-to-toe,
hand-to-hand combat.

We clawed and bit
and scratched and kicked,

and I know me
and Frankenstein

was getting whupped
for sure.

But just for a moment,

I got that wolf-man's arms
pinned down,

and I yelled, "Run for it,
Frankie! Run for it!"

And Frankenstein,
he got clean away.

But as for me,

as for me, folks,

well, first it bit me
all over my body,

and then-- and then
that werewolf ate me.

It gobbled me up.

Now, I know you probably
don't believe this is true.

Sounds like a tall tale,

and I know you admire a man

who will tell the truth

under any
and all circumstances,

but don't you
just hate a liar?

You know, we got
enough kinfolk around here

to have us a family reunion,

and nothing Cousin Julia
likes better

than an old-fashioned
family reunion.

Doesn't matter to her

if the family's living
or-- or dead.

She had a court order

to get her husband Jack
dug up,

says she's going to have
a family reunion

or die trying.

( sighs )

Hell, ain't midnight
ever coming?

It'll be all right, Jack.

The time is almost here.

Only a few minutes more,
sweetheart.

Then I am going to bring you
back to life.

It'll be all right.
You'll see.

All my wishes
will be undone.

And, Jack,
when you know the truth,

you'll forgive me,

because I never meant
to kill you.

He will forgive me.

I was only doing
what was best for us.

He'll see that.

And I never even would have
made the wishes.

Only, we were so poor.

And, you know,
when you first get married,

it's kind of challenging,

but after a while,
being poor is trying.

Spaghetti all the time.

Thrift-store clothes.

Okay, so I wished for money,

for goodies.

Hell, you want 'em, too.

And, anyway,
it wasn't just for me.

Jack was frustrated, too.

He was so talented,

but there were
so many musicians

and songwriters
in Nashville.

I did this for you, too,
honey. I did.

( sighs )

I look okay, don't I?

I cut my hair, you know,

but Jack'll like it.

We haven't seen each other
in so long.

I miss him.

He always treated me
so special,

supportive of everything,

except my magic.

He never really
approved of that.

You see, I was always
interested in the occult,

reading everything
I could get my hands on.

By the time
I was a teenager,

I was even doing
a little witchcraft.

Oh, nothing major,
just a little spell

to get an A on a test
I hadn't studied for

or to attract
a certain boy I had my eye on,

stuff like that.

Anyways, by the time
I was in college

and Jack and I
started dating,

we were so much in love.

Magic wasn't necessary.

But then, honey,
you got so depressed

over not finding
enough gigs,

and then we started
arguing all the time,

and I got scared.

Married people
that argue like that

sometimes get divorced,

and, Jack,
I didn't want to lose you.

( sighs )

Do I look okay?

Is my dress all right?

I mean, I-I don't know
what's appropriate

for bringing somebody
back to life.

Time's going so slow.

God.

Anyway, Jack and me,

we had
this awful, awful fight,

and I just knew I had to get
out of the apartment,

so I went downtown,

and I just happened upon

this little store
of the occult.

Actually, it was
an old haunt of mine,

and it was all dusty,

and it had
that funny kind of smell

that, uh, old things
sometimes get.

It was the kind of place
that would make you feel

like there was
buried treasure

underneath all
of that stuff.

This time, there was.

Under all that stuff--

Ouija boards, "I Chings,"

tarot cards--

I found this old, old book.

I had to strain
to read the cover.

Anyway,
I couldn't believe my eyes.

It was
"Triple Heart's Desire."

Well, anyone who knows
anything about witchcraft

knows this book,

but hardly anyone
has ever seen it.

It is supposed to have
magical powers.

I mean, I didn't even know

if it was real
or just a legend,

but there I was
in this little store

holding this book
in my hand,

and holding that book,

I felt like
it was calling my name.

It was going, "Julia.

Buy me, Julia.

I'm the answer
to all your problems."

That's all I was trying
to do, sweetheart,

was solve
some of our problems.

I mean, if I knew
what was going to happen,

I never would have made
that first wish.

Oh, heck.

I got dirt on me.

Do I look okay?

I mean, I want
to look pretty for Jack.

He's got to think
I look great.

Well, it was partly
your fault anyway.

If you hadn't
have yelled at me

for spending all that money
on the book,

and then you ran off
to the bar like that.

Well, you would have
opened the book.

You would have summoned
the powers like I did.

Be honest now.

You would have.

You know, I never thought

a spirit
would be that solid.

I could see her just like
I could see my own hand,

after I got used
to the dazzling light, that is.

She was just a tiny spirit,

this shrunk-up little woman
in a long, old gown.

She was sitting
on top of the bookcase

like she owned the place.

Anyway, even though
she looked ancient,

her face,
it was kind of pretty.

And her eyes,

her eyes were--

they were kind of--

I don't know, secretlike.

And when she spoke,

her voice, it was so young.

"I am Taliana,

the spirit you summoned

to grant three
heart's desires," she said.

"Three wishes I grant you.

Think carefully."

Well, hell, I didn't
have to think carefully.

I knew what I wanted.

I wanted to be rich,

I wanted a Cadillac,

I wanted a house of my own

and lots of pretty clothes

and all of that stuff.

So that's what I wished for.

Well, that spell
sure did work fast.

Taliana had
hardly disappeared,

and Jack came
running up the stairs,

whooping and hollering.

His band
had just got signed on

to do this deal
at this hot new club

to play for three months,

and that's how it started.

Jack's career skyrocketed.

They were
playing everywhere.

His records were reaching
the top of the charts.

He-- we were rich,

just like I wished.

We had it all.

But Jack was so busy
working and touring,

we never saw each other.

Then there was all
those pretty little groupies

just dying to get
into bed with him.

So, sweetheart,
I got scared.

I just didn't
want to lose you,

and I thought, well,
if we could just have
some time together,

then everything
would be okay.

That's all I was trying
to do with my second wish,

was buy us some time
to patch things up.

So I summoned Taliana,

and I asked her
for three months with Jack

to renew our love,

but without ruining
his career.

Well, hardly had I finished

when an ambulance came
wailing up the driveway.

A drunk driver
had hit Jack's car.

His leg was broke
in two places.

The doctor said
he would be just fine

if he stayed home in bed
for three months

with his leg
in a cast and traction.

I got my wish.

Jack wasn't going anywhere

for 90 whole days.

He was all mine.

( chuckles ) It was so good.

We were together
night and day.

If it wasn't
for the damn traction,

it would almost be like
a second honeymoon.

But even with the traction,
we sort of managed.

It was so good.

I gave the maid
lots of time off

so's me and Jack would be
alone in the house together.

The final week, I just told her
to take off altogether.

That afternoon, I cooked him
a real special lunch

in our new microwave oven.

Everything was real nice.

All I did was go
out of the house

for 45 minutes, just down
to the dry cleaners

and the market.
It was no big deal.

When I got back,
there was fire trucks

in the driveway, and--

and the house,

the house--

there was paramedics
in the driveway...

and the male body,

its leg dangling in a cast

with traction ropes.

I wouldn't have
even recognized Jack,

except for the cast.

He was so badly burned.

The firemen said
that it was caused

by faulty wiring
in the microwave oven.

Jack hadn't had a chance,
they said.

The smoke had killed him

before the fire
even reached his body.

Jack's death was my fault.

If he hadn't have been
caught in traction ropes

because of my stupid wish,

he'd still be alive.

I killed him.

I killed him.

But now...

I am going to bring him
back to life.

After the funeral and all,

I summoned Taliana
for my final wish.

She came in a blaze of light

and asked me what might--
was my heart's desire.

I said, "I want to be
reunited with Jack.

I want Jack to live again."

She was thoughtful
for a minute.

She frowned and said...

"That's a compound wish.

You're trying to get
four wishes instead of three,

and three is the limit."

"No," I said, "no.

All I want is for Jack and
me to be together again."

She thought for a moment
and said,

"If you are sure that
is what you truly desire,

it is as you wish it."

I said, "Yes, yes,
it is what I want."

"Very well."

Taliana disappeared,

leaving me with a list
of instructions,

and here I am,

almost at the stroke
of midnight

and when Jack and I
will be reunited.

I will open the coffin lid,

I'll kiss Jack,

and then w-we'll be
together again always.

( bell tolling )

My God,

it's that time!

Do I look all right?

Am I okay?

( tolling ends )

By Taliana's powers,

it is as I wish it.

Jack...

sweetheart...

( gasping )

Taliana, you promised.

We will be
together always,

not I with you
up there,

rather you
here with me.

Looks like Cousin Julia
got her heart's desire,

but we like to oblige

up here at
the Tuesday Hill Boneyard.

( keyboard playing )

- ( music ends )
- ( wind blowing )

( wolf howls )