All language subtitles for According to Jim S07E01 - Jim Almighty (2008) WEB-DL 1080p.ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,172 --> 00:00:03,473 OH, HO-HO-HO! THIS IS A GREAT IDEA, JIM. 2 00:00:03,474 --> 00:00:05,475 RIGHT? IF YOU WATCH A VIDEO 3 00:00:05,476 --> 00:00:08,007 OF THE FIRST HALF OF THE SUPER BOWL TWICE, 4 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:11,341 IT'S LIKE THE BEARS WIN. 5 00:00:11,342 --> 00:00:13,713 HEY, GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE CHIPS. 6 00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,515 OH, SORRY, I JUST FINISHED 'EM. 7 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,388 THAT WAS THE LAST BAG IN THE HOUSE. 8 00:00:18,389 --> 00:00:21,122 SORRY. I'LL GO GET SOME MORE. GET 'EM. 9 00:00:32,803 --> 00:00:34,235 THERE YOU GO. 10 00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:39,170 THANKS, BUDDY. 11 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,415 GOT ANY PRETZELS IN THERE? 12 00:00:46,517 --> 00:00:49,819 I DON'T KNOW. LET ME CHECK. 13 00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:52,823 ♪♪♪ 14 00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:01,361 HEY, WHAT'S ALL THIS? 15 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:04,194 MOM SAID TO SET THE TABLE. 16 00:01:04,195 --> 00:01:06,166 WITH THE GOOD PLATES? 17 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:09,439 ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S GOING ON? DID I FORGET SOMETHING? 18 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,671 MOM'S MAKING A FEAST FOR A KING, 19 00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,673 'CAUSE SHE SAYS YOU'RE OUR KING. 20 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:16,376 REALLY? 21 00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,748 NO, JUST KIDDING. WHAT? 22 00:01:18,749 --> 00:01:21,312 IT'S YOUR ANNIVERSARY. YOU FORGOT. 23 00:01:22,813 --> 00:01:26,156 OH, CRAP. 24 00:01:26,157 --> 00:01:27,118 (laughs) JUST KIDDING. 25 00:01:27,119 --> 00:01:29,689 WHAT?! 26 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,691 I DON'T KNOW WHAT ALL THIS IS FOR. 27 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,693 WE'RE GOING ON A SLEEPOVER. 28 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,367 THESE PLATES ARE FOR STRANGERS? 29 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:40,570 OKAY, YOU DIDN'T SEE ME. I'M NOT HERE. 30 00:01:40,571 --> 00:01:42,572 I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 31 00:01:42,573 --> 00:01:44,574 (Cheryl) JIM, IS THAT YOU? 32 00:01:44,575 --> 00:01:47,577 (high-pitched voice) NO, IT'S DANA. 33 00:01:47,578 --> 00:01:50,840 I-I LOST MY BABY... 34 00:01:50,841 --> 00:01:54,184 'CAUSE I'M SO STUPID... 35 00:01:54,185 --> 00:01:57,687 AND I'M SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW... 36 00:01:57,688 --> 00:02:00,550 OH, HERE'S THE BABY. 37 00:02:00,551 --> 00:02:03,793 I'M GONNA MAKE A CAR ORNAMENT OUT OF HER. 38 00:02:03,794 --> 00:02:05,825 (Cheryl) GET IN HERE. 39 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:09,759 (normal voice) CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP. 40 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,261 HEY. HEY. 41 00:02:11,262 --> 00:02:14,264 WOULD YOU GRAB THE CANDLESTICKS OUT OF THE PANTRY? 42 00:02:14,265 --> 00:02:16,666 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, HONEY? 43 00:02:16,667 --> 00:02:18,168 IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT. 44 00:02:18,169 --> 00:02:20,710 IT'S OUR DINNER PARTY CLUB. 45 00:02:20,711 --> 00:02:23,142 DINNER... PARTY... CLUB? 46 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,814 UH-HUH. 47 00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:27,677 WHAT THE HELL IS A DINNER PARTY CLUB? 48 00:02:27,678 --> 00:02:29,679 I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS. 49 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,821 NOW COULD YOU PLEASE JUST DECANT THE WINE? 50 00:02:31,822 --> 00:02:35,825 EVEN IF I KNEW WHAT THAT WORD MEANT, I WOULDN'T DO IT. 51 00:02:35,826 --> 00:02:38,458 NOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? OKAY. 52 00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:40,190 IT'S TEN PEOPLE FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 53 00:02:40,191 --> 00:02:42,192 ONCE A MONTH WE'RE GONNA GET TOGETHER 54 00:02:42,193 --> 00:02:44,194 AND HAVE DINNER AT SOMEONE'S HOUSE. 55 00:02:44,195 --> 00:02:46,766 CHERYL, I DO NOT REMEMBER HEARING ABOUT THIS. 56 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:49,199 WELL, WE TALKED ABOUT IT 57 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,501 WHEN WE WERE WATCHING THE FOOTBALL GAME. 58 00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:53,203 OH, RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. 59 00:02:53,204 --> 00:02:54,944 WHAT FOOTBALL GAME WAS THAT AGAIN? YEAH. 60 00:02:54,945 --> 00:02:57,547 BEARS AND LIONS. 61 00:02:57,548 --> 00:03:00,280 (laughs) OH, RIGHT. GREAT GAME. UH-HUH. 62 00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,282 WHAT WAS THE SCORE? 63 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,713 5 TO 4. 64 00:03:03,714 --> 00:03:05,585 AHA! 65 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,387 YOU NEVER TOLD ME! YOU LIED! 66 00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,659 THAT IS CRAZY. WHY WOULD I DO THAT? 67 00:03:09,660 --> 00:03:12,592 BECAUSE YOU KNOW IF YOU HAD TOLD ME, I WOULD HAVE SAID NO, 68 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,594 WHICH I'M SAYING RIGHT NOW. NO! 69 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:17,196 IT'S TOO LATE. THIS IS HAPPENING. GO UPSTAIRS. 70 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,500 YOUR SUIT AND TIE ARE ON THE BED. FINE, I'LL PUT MY SUIT ON 71 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:23,503 AND THEN I'M GONNA HANG MYSELF WITH THE TIE. 72 00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:26,976 COME ON. I JUST WANT TO BE A PART OF OUR NEIGHBORHOOD. 73 00:03:26,977 --> 00:03:30,240 WHY? SO WE CAN HAVE FRIENDS. 74 00:03:30,241 --> 00:03:32,382 WHY? 75 00:03:32,383 --> 00:03:34,384 THIS IS CRAZY. 76 00:03:34,385 --> 00:03:36,846 WHY CAN'T YOU JUST APPRECIATE WHAT I DO FOR US? 77 00:03:36,847 --> 00:03:39,919 BECAUSE YOU'RE TAKING SOMETHING THAT I LOVE... DINNER... 78 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,221 AND RUINING IT WITH SOMETHING I HATE... PEOPLE! 79 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,593 OH. 80 00:03:43,594 --> 00:03:45,855 THERE ISN'T A MAN IN THIS WORLD 81 00:03:45,856 --> 00:03:47,827 THAT WOULD APPRECIATE SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 82 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,330 ONLY TWO HOURS TILL DINNER PARTY CLUB! 83 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,862 (laughs) 84 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,236 I HATE THAT YOU GET TO LEAVE. 85 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,238 HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. LISTEN. 86 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,612 WHAT IF I SLIP YOU 20 BUCKS AND YOU GOT SICK? 87 00:04:02,613 --> 00:04:04,614 THAT WAY, MOM WOULD CANCEL THIS SHINDIG. 88 00:04:04,615 --> 00:04:05,915 NO WAY. 89 00:04:05,916 --> 00:04:07,617 WE'RE EATING NUGGETS 90 00:04:07,618 --> 00:04:10,420 AND WATCHING "PLANET OF THE APES." 91 00:04:10,421 --> 00:04:13,583 DINNER PARTY CLUB. THIS SUCKS. 92 00:04:13,584 --> 00:04:17,887 I'D LIKE TO MEET THE MORON WHO INVENTED WOMEN. 93 00:04:17,888 --> 00:04:20,860 HELLO, JIM. 94 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,862 HEY, BUDDY, 95 00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:25,735 THE PARTY DOESN'T START FOR A COUPLE HOURS, OKAY? 96 00:04:25,736 --> 00:04:28,368 AND NO ONE SITS IN MY CHAIR. 97 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,899 I'M GOD. 98 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:33,903 (angelic music plays) 99 00:04:33,904 --> 00:04:38,277 YOU'RE STILL IN MY CHAIR. 100 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,909 YEAH, REAL COMFY, TOO. 101 00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:41,911 SO YOU WANTED TO MEET ME? 102 00:04:41,912 --> 00:04:44,614 YES. I ALWAYS HAVE WANTED TO MEET YOU. 103 00:04:44,615 --> 00:04:46,616 I GOT A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS FOR YOU, 104 00:04:46,617 --> 00:04:48,918 AND ONE IS THE CUBS. A HUNDRED YEARS? COME ON, MAN. 105 00:04:48,919 --> 00:04:52,021 ARE THE CUBS EVER GONNA WIN THE WORLD SERIES? SURE, THEY'LL WIN... 106 00:04:52,022 --> 00:04:55,465 YES! JUST NOT IN MY LIFETIME. 107 00:04:55,466 --> 00:04:58,027 COME ON. WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU? 108 00:04:58,028 --> 00:05:01,571 WELL, FOR ONE THING, YOU CALLED ME A MORON. 109 00:05:01,572 --> 00:05:05,004 (laughs) COME ON. WHEN DID I DO THAT? 110 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:07,076 (door shuts) 111 00:05:07,077 --> 00:05:12,642 SURE WOULD LIKE TO MEET THE MORON WHO INVENTED WOMEN. 112 00:05:12,643 --> 00:05:14,884 I'M A HANDSOME, HANDSOME MAN. 113 00:05:14,885 --> 00:05:17,887 YOU DID A GOOD JOB THERE, GOD. 114 00:05:17,888 --> 00:05:20,890 I GOTTA TELL YOU, THOUGH, JIM, I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO YOU 115 00:05:20,891 --> 00:05:23,553 COMPLAIN ABOUT WOMEN FOR YEARS, AND I'M SICK OF IT. 116 00:05:23,554 --> 00:05:25,655 OH, COME ON. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO... SMITE ME? 117 00:05:25,656 --> 00:05:28,998 DO YOU KNOW WHAT "SMITE" MEANS? 118 00:05:28,999 --> 00:05:32,331 YEAH. LIKE... PINCH? 119 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,564 NO, I'M NOT HERE TO SMITE YOU. 120 00:05:34,565 --> 00:05:36,566 I'M HERE TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE. 121 00:05:36,567 --> 00:05:40,039 YOU THINK YOU CAN DO A BETTER JOB WITH WOMEN? UH, YEAH. 122 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,412 OKAY, THEY'RE ALL YOURS. 123 00:05:42,413 --> 00:05:45,745 I HEREBY GRANT YOU MY POWERS TO CHANGE ALL OF WOMANKIND, 124 00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,847 BEGINNING NOW. 125 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,420 (scoffs) THAT'S IT? 126 00:05:50,421 --> 00:05:52,822 THAT'S YOUR THING? YOU JUST SNAP? 127 00:05:52,823 --> 00:05:54,123 YOU JUST REMEMBER... 128 00:05:54,124 --> 00:05:57,687 YOU CHANGE ONE WOMAN, YOU CHANGE 'EM ALL... FOREVER. 129 00:05:57,688 --> 00:06:00,531 (laughs) GIANT BOOBS ON ALL OF 'EM. 130 00:06:08,739 --> 00:06:10,741 BYE, DADDY. 131 00:06:13,804 --> 00:06:16,376 (door shuts) 132 00:06:19,149 --> 00:06:21,150 DO-OVER. I GET A DO-OVER. 133 00:06:21,151 --> 00:06:24,154 I GET ONE DO-OVER. DON'T I GET A DO-OVER? 134 00:06:32,623 --> 00:06:34,924 HEY, JIM, WHAT'S UP? 135 00:06:34,925 --> 00:06:36,926 OH, I AM GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 136 00:06:36,927 --> 00:06:38,928 GOD GAVE ME A SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT 137 00:06:38,929 --> 00:06:41,901 TO REDESIGN WOMEN ANY WAY I WANT. 138 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,675 BIG BOOBS ON ALL OF 'EM. 139 00:06:45,676 --> 00:06:49,008 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ALL WOMEN. 140 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,940 OH, GOD. MOM. 141 00:06:50,941 --> 00:06:53,443 ALL RIGHT, LET ME THINK, LET ME THINK. 142 00:06:53,444 --> 00:06:55,445 WAIT A MINUTE. 143 00:06:55,446 --> 00:06:57,917 YOU JUST BELIEVE WHAT I HAD TO SAY HERE ABOUT GOD? 144 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,919 I MEAN, NO QUESTIONS ASKED? 145 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,921 JIM, I WENT WITH YOU TO MINNESOTA 146 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,894 TO CATCH A MAGICAL GIANT FISH. 147 00:07:04,895 --> 00:07:07,497 WHERE YOU GO, I WILL FOLLOW. 148 00:07:07,498 --> 00:07:09,759 WHAT DO YOU HAVE SO FAR? 149 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,060 WELL, I GOT, UH... 150 00:07:11,061 --> 00:07:13,733 ALL THE BAD STUFF I'M CUTTING, LIKE EMOTIONS. 151 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,735 GET RID OF ALL THOSE. 152 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,837 UH, GET RID OF ALL THE CRAZY IDEAS. 153 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:20,940 OOH, THEIR PICKINESS ABOUT WHO THEY'LL SLEEP WITH. 154 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,942 YES. AND THE TALKING. OH... 155 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,644 THE TALKING... (babbles) 156 00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:26,946 YEAH, WE'LL GET RID OF ALL THE TALKING. 157 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,648 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 158 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,721 I THINK IT'S BETTER IF WOMEN WERE MORE LIKE MEN. 159 00:07:31,722 --> 00:07:33,723 BUT STILL WITH THE BOOBS, RIGHT? 160 00:07:33,724 --> 00:07:36,656 NO, I'M GONNA GET RID OF THE ONE THING THAT DOES WORK. 161 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,658 SO HOW DO YOU MAKE YOUR WILL BE KNOWN? 162 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,229 EASY, JUST LIKE THIS... 163 00:07:40,230 --> 00:07:43,993 LET WOMEN BE LIKE MEN. 164 00:07:43,994 --> 00:07:47,236 WHAT'S UP, LOSERS? 165 00:07:47,237 --> 00:07:49,238 YOU'RE NOT WATCHING THE GAME? 166 00:07:49,239 --> 00:07:51,240 OH, WE FORGOT IT WAS ON. 167 00:07:51,241 --> 00:07:54,504 LOSERS. 168 00:07:54,505 --> 00:07:58,207 MOVE OVER, BUTT-WIPE. 169 00:07:58,208 --> 00:08:00,249 YEAH, LET'S WATCH THE GAME. 170 00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,181 HEY, 40 BUCKS SAYS HE HITS THIS FREE THROW. 171 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:06,056 (whispers) JIM, IT'S LIKE SHE'S A MAN. 172 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:11,090 (whispers) JIM, IT'S LIKE HE'S AN IDIOT. 173 00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,892 (laughs) 174 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:16,065 (normal voice) WHO WANTS A BEER? WHAT, IS THAT LIKE A COOLER? 175 00:08:16,066 --> 00:08:18,127 COOLER THAN YOU, BUTT-WIPE. 176 00:08:18,128 --> 00:08:19,899 (laughs) 177 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:23,603 WHOO! DO NOT GO INTO THAT BATHROOM. 178 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:27,577 I JUST MADE ROOM FOR DINNER AND MAYBE BREAKFAST TOMORROW. 179 00:08:27,578 --> 00:08:30,881 WHAT'S UP, BUTT-WIPE? 180 00:08:32,042 --> 00:08:34,143 HEY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S UP... 181 00:08:34,144 --> 00:08:36,115 THIS STUPID DINNER PARTY CLUB THING 182 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:38,718 YOU GOT PLANNED FOR TONIGHT. I KNOW, RIGHT? 183 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,720 GUESS WHEN I AGREED TO THAT? 184 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,222 I AM SUCH A HORSE'S ASS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH. 185 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:46,055 UGH, SERIOUSLY. WISH WE COULD DO AWAY WITH THAT. 186 00:08:46,056 --> 00:08:48,057 WHEW. 187 00:08:48,058 --> 00:08:51,060 DONE. NOW THERE WILL ONLY BE THREE PERIODS... 188 00:08:51,061 --> 00:08:53,063 ALL OF 'EM IN HOCKEY. 189 00:08:54,905 --> 00:08:56,906 HEY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE'LL DO. 190 00:08:56,907 --> 00:08:58,908 WHEN THE GUESTS SHOW UP, 191 00:08:58,909 --> 00:09:01,911 WE GIVE 'EM A TURKEY LEG, A BEER AND A MAP HOME. 192 00:09:01,912 --> 00:09:02,912 OH, CHERYL... 193 00:09:02,913 --> 00:09:04,814 I JUST LOVE YOU. 194 00:09:04,815 --> 00:09:08,547 YEAH? IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME, YOU'D TAKE ME UPSTAIRS 195 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,951 AND KNOCK ONE OUT BEFORE "SPORTSCENTER" STARTS. 196 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,653 YOU GOT FIVE MINUTES. 197 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,056 KNOCK ONE OUT AND TAKE A 3-MINUTE NAP. 198 00:09:18,629 --> 00:09:20,760 I KNOW, RIGHT? 199 00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:23,562 GET A MOVE ON. 200 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,796 YES! 201 00:09:26,797 --> 00:09:30,000 MAKE HER SAY MY NAME, BUDDY. 202 00:09:34,705 --> 00:09:36,005 WHOO! 203 00:09:36,006 --> 00:09:37,006 (groans) 204 00:09:37,007 --> 00:09:39,709 I'M DONE. 205 00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:41,711 YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE A WATCH, 206 00:09:41,712 --> 00:09:44,183 BUT I THINK I JUST SET A NEW RECORD. 207 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:45,915 WELL, ACTUALLY, I... 208 00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:49,158 I DIDN'T FINISH. 209 00:09:49,159 --> 00:09:51,290 AW. 210 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:54,293 I'LL OWE YOU ONE. 211 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,995 BUT IN THE MEANTIME, 212 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:58,127 PLEASE ACCEPT THIS LOVELY PARTING GIFT. 213 00:09:58,128 --> 00:10:00,700 (muffled) AAH! (passes gas) 214 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:03,132 DUTCH OVEN! 215 00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:05,234 OH, GOD! OH, GOD! 216 00:10:05,235 --> 00:10:06,977 WHOO! 217 00:10:13,684 --> 00:10:16,185 OKAY, IN A FAIR FIGHT... 218 00:10:16,186 --> 00:10:18,718 YOU VERSUS SUPERMAN. 219 00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,049 ME. 220 00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:22,792 HUH, TOTALLY, TOTALLY. 221 00:10:22,793 --> 00:10:26,095 A LITTLE TOUGHER... YOU VERSUS CHUCK NORRIS. 222 00:10:26,096 --> 00:10:27,957 STILL ME. 223 00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:30,330 YOU VERSUS OPRAH. 224 00:10:32,663 --> 00:10:34,934 I KNEW IT! 225 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,135 HEY. 226 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,807 JIM, GUESS WHAT? 227 00:10:37,808 --> 00:10:39,909 GOD'S SCARED OF OPRAH. 228 00:10:39,910 --> 00:10:41,871 NOT SCARED, JUST RESPECTFUL. 229 00:10:41,872 --> 00:10:44,073 HEY, YOU KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN. 230 00:10:44,074 --> 00:10:46,045 YOU KNEW I WAS GONNA MESS UP. 231 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:49,378 HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT, JIM? I'M A MORON. 232 00:10:49,379 --> 00:10:52,081 LOOK, I DON'T WANNA FIGHT YOU, OKAY? 233 00:10:52,082 --> 00:10:55,184 SMART MOVE. IF HE CAN TAKE NORRIS, HE CAN TAKE YOU. 234 00:10:55,185 --> 00:10:57,186 LOOK, I JUST WANT YOU 235 00:10:57,187 --> 00:10:59,889 TO CHANGE WOMEN BACK TO THE WAY THEY WERE. 236 00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:02,792 SO WE ALL AGREE THAT I GOT WOMEN RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. 237 00:11:02,793 --> 00:11:06,095 I'M OUTTA HERE. JIM, YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 238 00:11:06,096 --> 00:11:08,097 I WON'T SEE YOU FOR A LONG WHILE. 239 00:11:08,098 --> 00:11:11,070 ANDY, SMOKE 'EM IF YOU GOT 'EM. 240 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:15,104 WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. 241 00:11:15,105 --> 00:11:18,107 YOU... YOU GOTTA GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE HERE. 242 00:11:18,108 --> 00:11:20,710 YOU? WHAT ABOUT ME? I'M A SHORT-TIMER. 243 00:11:20,711 --> 00:11:23,713 HOW DOES IT HAPPEN? AM I IN THE THROES OF PASSION? 244 00:11:23,714 --> 00:11:27,056 THAT DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH YOU LIKE CHEESECAKE. 245 00:11:27,057 --> 00:11:29,018 I DO LOVE IT SO. 246 00:11:29,019 --> 00:11:30,319 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT... 247 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,421 YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE. 248 00:11:32,422 --> 00:11:35,094 I GET THREE WISHES OR THREE CHANCES, DON'T I? 249 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:37,096 OH, THAT'S GENIES AND LEPRECHAUNS. 250 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,368 I DON'T WORK THAT WAY. 251 00:11:39,369 --> 00:11:42,231 ARE YOU AFRAID IF YOU GIVE ME ANOTHER SHOT AT IT, 252 00:11:42,232 --> 00:11:45,204 THAT I MIGHT DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU? WATCH YOUR STEP, SON. 253 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,907 I WON'T HESITATE TO GO OLD TESTAMENT ON YOUR BEHIND. 254 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,910 OKAY, OKAY, GOD. I THINK WHAT JIM IS TRYING TO SAY IS, 255 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,812 YOU KNOW, FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, 256 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:55,044 MEN AND WOMEN HAVE BEEN AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS. 257 00:11:55,045 --> 00:11:58,047 YEAH, I MEAN, COME ON. YOU GAVE NOAH 40 DAYS TO BUILD THAT ZOO. 258 00:11:58,048 --> 00:12:02,251 WHY CAN'T YOU GIVE ME ONE MORE SHOT? I'M STILL WAITING FOR AN IDEA. 259 00:12:02,252 --> 00:12:04,253 WELL... UH-HUH, ALL RIGHT. 260 00:12:04,254 --> 00:12:05,995 OKAY. 261 00:12:05,996 --> 00:12:08,297 HEY. WE HAD WOMEN BEING MORE LIKE MEN. 262 00:12:08,298 --> 00:12:11,430 MAYBE MEN SHOULD BE MORE LIKE WOMEN. 263 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:14,463 THAT IS THE STUPIDEST IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD. 264 00:12:14,464 --> 00:12:16,936 AND BESIDES, I'VE GOT A MILLION THINGS TO DO 265 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,938 RIGHT NOW BEFORE THE DINNER PARTY, 266 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:21,440 AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO IT ALL BY MYSELF, 267 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:24,113 AND OF COURSE, I GOT NO ONE TO THANK ME, 268 00:12:24,114 --> 00:12:27,176 AND OH, MY GOD, YOU JUST CHANGED ME INTO A WOMAN! 269 00:12:27,177 --> 00:12:30,119 GOD LISTENED TO ME! I'M SO HAPPY! 270 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,122 AW. 271 00:12:36,126 --> 00:12:38,287 HELLO, EVERYBODY! 272 00:12:38,288 --> 00:12:41,190 HI. 273 00:12:41,191 --> 00:12:44,934 LOOK AT YOU! OH, MWAH, MWAH. MWAH, MWAH. 274 00:12:44,935 --> 00:12:46,235 YOU... 275 00:12:46,236 --> 00:12:48,267 YOU LOOK FABULOUS. WELL... 276 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,470 I WOULD KILL FOR THAT METABOLISM. 277 00:12:52,542 --> 00:12:54,543 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, HUH? 278 00:12:54,544 --> 00:12:56,275 OH, YEAH. YOU LOOK GREAT. 279 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,108 YOU LIKE IT? BUT WITH THE SHOES, THOUGH? 280 00:12:59,109 --> 00:13:01,050 WITH THE SHOES? SHOES ARE PERFECT. 281 00:13:01,051 --> 00:13:03,012 ARE YOU SURE? 'CAUSE I GOT OTHERS. NO, UNH-UNH. 282 00:13:03,013 --> 00:13:05,885 THANK YOU. 283 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,286 WHAT'S WRONG, ANDY? 284 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,918 NOTHING. 285 00:13:08,919 --> 00:13:11,921 COME ON. SOMETHING'S WRONG. 286 00:13:11,922 --> 00:13:14,924 WELL, IT'S JUST THAT YOU TOLD DANA HOW THIN SHE WAS, 287 00:13:14,925 --> 00:13:17,027 BUT YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME. 288 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,402 DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT? 289 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:26,535 2 POUNDS. OH! 290 00:13:26,536 --> 00:13:28,337 IT'S A START. 291 00:13:28,338 --> 00:13:30,209 YEAH, IT'S VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD. 292 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,511 YOUR RISOTTO SMELLS FANTASTIC. 293 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,513 HEY, JUST DON'T MAKE IT TOO SALTY, 294 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:37,046 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, WHEN THE FERGUSONS SERVED IT, 295 00:13:37,047 --> 00:13:39,048 IT WAS... IT WAS A BIT MUCH. 296 00:13:39,049 --> 00:13:41,290 (taps spoon) 297 00:13:41,291 --> 00:13:43,292 WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY TELL ME? 298 00:13:43,293 --> 00:13:45,294 JIM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 299 00:13:45,295 --> 00:13:48,227 I AM NOT SERVING SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN SERVED ALREADY. 300 00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,929 I WOULD RATHER DIE. 301 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,931 OKAY, OKAY, LET'S NOT PANIC. 302 00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,903 WE DON'T HAVE TO HAVE RISOTTO. 303 00:13:53,904 --> 00:13:55,464 WE HAVE PLENTY OF ROSEMARY CHICKEN. 304 00:13:55,465 --> 00:13:58,837 YES, BECAUSE I CARED ENOUGH TO MAKE TWO MAIN DISHES. 305 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,310 THANK YOU FOR NOTICING. 306 00:14:01,311 --> 00:14:04,013 WELL, I APPRECIATE THAT YOU MADE CHICKEN. 307 00:14:04,014 --> 00:14:08,077 IT DOESN'T COUNT IF I HAVE TO ASK YOU TO SAY IT. 308 00:14:08,078 --> 00:14:10,079 WELL, JUST DON'T DRY OUT THAT CHICKEN 309 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,122 LIKE SALLY DICKERSON DID WHEN SHE SERVED IT. 310 00:14:13,123 --> 00:14:15,284 OH, YEAH. 311 00:14:15,285 --> 00:14:17,987 SALLY DICKERSON? 312 00:14:17,988 --> 00:14:20,529 SALLY FLIPPIN' DICKERSON?! 313 00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:23,492 HONEY, WOULD YOU JUST RELAX? 314 00:14:23,493 --> 00:14:26,595 DO... NOT... TELL... ME... 315 00:14:26,596 --> 00:14:30,269 TO... RE... LAX. 316 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:34,203 I'M JUST SAYING WE CAN FIX THIS. 317 00:14:34,204 --> 00:14:37,006 I DON'T WANT IT FIXED! 318 00:14:37,007 --> 00:14:40,649 I JUST WANT TO BE HEARD! 319 00:14:40,650 --> 00:14:42,151 JIM. 320 00:14:42,152 --> 00:14:45,154 (crying) I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. IT'S RUINED. IT'S ALL RUINED. 321 00:14:45,155 --> 00:14:47,616 I'M GOING UPSTAIRS. I'M GOING UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW. 322 00:14:47,617 --> 00:14:49,118 OH, OH! 323 00:14:49,119 --> 00:14:51,021 JIM. 324 00:14:58,228 --> 00:15:02,972 YOU KNOW HOW CHERYL IS, MOM. 325 00:15:02,973 --> 00:15:05,975 I MEAN, SHE SAYS OUR MARRIAGE DOESN'T MATTER, 326 00:15:05,976 --> 00:15:08,177 AND SHE HATES ME. 327 00:15:08,178 --> 00:15:10,980 (angelic music playing) 328 00:15:10,981 --> 00:15:14,984 OH, GOD, I GOTTA GO. 329 00:15:14,985 --> 00:15:16,345 TOUGH DAY, ALICE? 330 00:15:16,346 --> 00:15:19,488 YES. 331 00:15:19,489 --> 00:15:22,491 I JUST DON'T LIKE THIS BEING A WOMAN ANYMORE. 332 00:15:22,492 --> 00:15:24,493 I WANT TO BE A MAN AGAIN, 333 00:15:24,494 --> 00:15:27,526 AND NOW MY EYES ARE GONNA BE ALL RED FOR THE DINNER PARTY. 334 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:30,159 ARE YOU SAYING YOU WANT ME TO CHANGE YOU BACK? 335 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,430 YES. (sniffles) 336 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,133 MAKE ME THE INSENSITIVE MAN THAT I WAS... 337 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,136 MORE SO, IF YOU CAN. 338 00:15:37,507 --> 00:15:40,639 PULL MY FINGER. 339 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,571 WELCOME BACK, JIM. OH. 340 00:15:42,572 --> 00:15:45,074 I KNOW YOU'VE HAD A LONG DAY, BUT... MM-HMM. 341 00:15:45,075 --> 00:15:48,417 I HOPE YOU'RE READY TO ADMIT THAT MEN AND WOMEN ARE PERFECT 342 00:15:48,418 --> 00:15:51,420 JUST THE WAY I MADE THEM. WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY? COME ON. 343 00:15:51,421 --> 00:15:54,053 WHEN... WHEN WE'RE HOT, THEY'RE COLD. 344 00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:56,025 WHEN THEY'RE COLD, WE'RE HOT. 345 00:15:56,026 --> 00:15:58,327 I MEAN, THEY THINK THE THREE STOOGES ARE STUPID, 346 00:15:58,328 --> 00:16:00,329 AND WE WISH THERE WERE FOUR. 347 00:16:00,330 --> 00:16:03,332 I MEAN, THEY LIKE FOREPLAY, WE LIKE PLAY. 348 00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:05,134 COME ON. 349 00:16:05,135 --> 00:16:07,396 IT'S ALL PART OF MY PLAN, JIM. 350 00:16:07,397 --> 00:16:11,400 PLAN? YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE A PLAN. 351 00:16:11,401 --> 00:16:14,103 I THINK YOU'RE JUST WINGIN' IT, BABY. 352 00:16:14,104 --> 00:16:15,404 I MEAN, COME ON... 353 00:16:15,405 --> 00:16:18,647 PUTTING CHURCH AND FOOTBALL ON SUNDAY AT THE SAME TIME? 354 00:16:18,648 --> 00:16:21,250 I MEAN, YOU'RE LOSING HALF YOUR AUDIENCE. 355 00:16:21,251 --> 00:16:23,412 FINE, NO MORE FOOTBALL. 356 00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:25,314 NO, NO, NOT THE FINGERS, NOT THE FINGERS! 357 00:16:25,315 --> 00:16:27,317 COME ON, MAN. 358 00:16:31,261 --> 00:16:34,023 I LOVE SEEING YOU SO MISERABLE. 359 00:16:34,024 --> 00:16:38,428 SHUT UP AND GIVE ME A KEBAB. 360 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,671 IT'S NOT HOT. 361 00:16:42,672 --> 00:16:45,535 IT'S HOTTER THAN YOU, BUTT-WIPE. 362 00:16:47,777 --> 00:16:50,739 HMM. HAVE YOU HAD CHERYL'S SHRIMP WRAPPED IN BACON? 363 00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:53,742 MMM, I GOTTA TELL YOU, I'VE MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES, 364 00:16:53,743 --> 00:16:56,085 BUT BACON AIN'T ONE OF 'EM. 365 00:16:56,086 --> 00:16:57,586 WHAT... WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 366 00:16:57,587 --> 00:17:00,589 I FIGURE I PUT YOU THROUGH THE WRINGER TODAY, JIM. 367 00:17:00,590 --> 00:17:02,591 YEAH. SO TO MAKE THINGS SQUARE, 368 00:17:02,592 --> 00:17:06,024 HOW ABOUT I GUARANTEE YOU ENJOY THE REST OF THIS PARTY? 369 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:09,027 LOOK, I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK THAT I DON'T HAVE FAITH, 370 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,029 BECAUSE YOU DID CREATE PUPPIES AND RAINBOWS 371 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,032 AND PUSH-UP BRAS. 372 00:17:14,664 --> 00:17:17,506 BUT THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO 373 00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:19,538 TO MAKE ME ENJOY THIS. 374 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,510 OH, TRUST ME ON THIS ONE, JIM. 375 00:17:21,511 --> 00:17:24,513 JUST RELAX AND ENJOY YOURSELF. 376 00:17:24,514 --> 00:17:25,814 OKAY. 377 00:17:25,815 --> 00:17:29,148 I'LL RELAX AND ENJOY MYSELF. 378 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:32,152 AND EASY ON THAT SHRIMP. IT'S 16 BUCKS A POUND. 379 00:17:33,483 --> 00:17:35,824 CHARLIE. HEY, JIM, GOOD TO SEE YA. 380 00:17:35,825 --> 00:17:38,127 CHARLIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 381 00:17:38,128 --> 00:17:40,129 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INVITED. 382 00:17:40,130 --> 00:17:43,092 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, AND I BROUGHT YOUR FAVORITE BEER. GOPHERHOFF? 383 00:17:43,093 --> 00:17:45,234 WHEN YOU GO FOR BEER... 384 00:17:45,235 --> 00:17:47,736 (both) GOPHERHOFF. (laughs) 385 00:17:47,737 --> 00:17:50,699 OH, HEY, JIM. OH, HI, MARY BETH. 386 00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:53,542 HEY, UH, COME WITH ME. I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MY HUSBAND. 387 00:17:53,543 --> 00:17:55,844 I THINK YOU TWO WOULD TOTALLY HIT IT OFF. 388 00:17:55,845 --> 00:17:57,576 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT? 389 00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,679 WELL, HE WORKS FOR THE CUBS. OH, HEAVENS. (laughs) 390 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,482 HEY, EVERYBODY. (laughs) 391 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:06,115 OH, GREAT. WE'RE WEARING THE SAME THING. 392 00:18:06,116 --> 00:18:07,416 THANKS A LOT, JIM. 393 00:18:07,417 --> 00:18:09,418 ANDY, SETTLE DOWN. WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME? 394 00:18:09,419 --> 00:18:11,590 WE'RE NOT GIRLS ANYMORE. GOD CHANGED US. 395 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,224 IT'S STILL A DISASTER! 396 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:21,670 ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN'T STAY A LITTLE WHILE LONGER? 397 00:18:21,671 --> 00:18:25,134 (laughs) ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING. 398 00:18:25,135 --> 00:18:28,377 AND, WILLIE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE HEIMLICH. 399 00:18:28,378 --> 00:18:30,479 IT CAME JUST IN TIME. 400 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,142 CHEW YOUR FOOD. 401 00:18:33,143 --> 00:18:35,113 YES. 402 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,116 THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR THAT. SORRY. 403 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,289 HEY, THE MAN OF THE HOUR! 404 00:18:40,290 --> 00:18:42,821 LOOK AT YOU! I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU. 405 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,823 HEY, TAKE MY CHAIR. YOU DESERVE IT. 406 00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,325 OH, THANK YOU, JIM. 407 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,827 I HAVEN'T BEEN SO MOVED SINCE BEYONCé THANKED ME 408 00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,759 FOR HER AMERICAN MUSIC AWARD. 409 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,731 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 410 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,234 WHATEVER YOU DID, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS, 411 00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:57,406 BUT IT WORKED, BECAUSE I HAD A GREAT TIME TONIGHT. 412 00:18:57,407 --> 00:19:00,169 I'LL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT I DID... NOTHING. 413 00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:03,512 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NOTHING? I SAW YOU DO THE FINGER THING. 414 00:19:03,513 --> 00:19:06,375 LEFT HAND DOESN'T COUNT. RIGHT HAND THROWS THE THUNDER. 415 00:19:06,376 --> 00:19:08,417 YOU KNOW, TONIGHT ALL I DID 416 00:19:08,418 --> 00:19:10,819 WAS TELL YOU TO RELAX AND ENJOY YOURSELF, 417 00:19:10,820 --> 00:19:12,321 AND YOU DID. 418 00:19:12,322 --> 00:19:15,153 YOU LIED TO ME, GOD. GOD, YOU LIED TO ME! 419 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,655 BIG DEAL. 420 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,258 I JUST INSPIRED YOU TO FIND A HIGHER TRUTH. 421 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:22,361 OOH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE. I'M GONNA USE THAT WITH CHERYL. 422 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,363 ONCE YOU GOT A POSITIVE ATTITUDE, 423 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,864 EVERYTHING GOT BETTER. 424 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:28,367 MAYBE YOU OUGHTA TRY THAT MORE OFTEN. 425 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:31,340 YOU'D FIND FEWER THINGS TO GET MAD ABOUT. 426 00:19:31,341 --> 00:19:34,303 YOU KNOW WHAT? IF I NEEDED A SERMON, I'D GO TO CHURCH. 427 00:19:34,304 --> 00:19:36,405 I KNOW YOU LIKE COMPLAINING ABOUT WOMEN, 428 00:19:36,406 --> 00:19:38,907 BUT I THINK WHAT MAKES 'EM DIFFERENT 429 00:19:38,908 --> 00:19:40,910 IS WHAT MAKES THEM GREAT. 430 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,653 PLUS THE BOOBS. 431 00:19:44,654 --> 00:19:46,815 BETTER THAN BACON. 432 00:19:46,816 --> 00:19:49,588 (laughs) 433 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,660 HEY, ONE MORE QUESTION... 434 00:19:51,661 --> 00:19:54,723 THE CUBS WORLD SERIES, BEFORE I DIE? 435 00:19:54,724 --> 00:19:57,597 OH, COME ON, JIM. ONE MIRACLE AT A TIME. 436 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,574 WHAT THE HELL GOT INTO YOU TONIGHT? 437 00:20:05,575 --> 00:20:07,436 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 438 00:20:07,437 --> 00:20:10,409 UH, YOU WERE CHARMING, YOU WERE CHEERFUL. 439 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,411 YOU DIDN'T FIGHT WITH ANYONE. 440 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:15,985 I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T EVEN PASS THE HAT TO COVER EXPENSES. 441 00:20:17,687 --> 00:20:20,689 WELL, HONEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAD A GOOD TIME. 442 00:20:20,690 --> 00:20:23,722 WELL, I DID, TOO. 443 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,354 THANK YOU. 444 00:20:25,355 --> 00:20:28,657 OH, DON'T THANK ME. THANK THE BIG MAN UPSTAIRS. 445 00:20:28,658 --> 00:20:29,998 ANDY'S STILL HERE? 446 00:20:29,999 --> 00:20:31,730 NO. NO. 447 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,702 NO, NO, NO, HONEY. NO. 448 00:20:33,703 --> 00:20:35,003 YOU KNOW WHAT? 449 00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:37,005 I WANNA TELL YOU SOMETHING. 450 00:20:37,006 --> 00:20:38,337 HMM? 451 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,839 I-I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I-I... 452 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,273 I REALLY APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOU DO... 453 00:20:44,514 --> 00:20:47,746 EVEN THESE STUPID LITTLE DINNER PARTIES. 454 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,618 AW. 455 00:20:49,619 --> 00:20:51,720 AND I WAS THINKING, YOU KNOW, 456 00:20:51,721 --> 00:20:53,722 FOR YEARS, PEOPLE HAVE COME UP TO ME 457 00:20:53,723 --> 00:20:56,024 AND ASKED ME HOW I ENDED UP WITH YOU. 458 00:20:56,025 --> 00:20:57,686 AND I GET THAT, 459 00:20:57,687 --> 00:21:01,360 BUT I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHY I WAS SO LUCKY. 460 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:04,864 THE LORD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. 461 00:21:06,836 --> 00:21:10,439 JIM, YOU'RE SO SWEET TONIGHT. 462 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,572 YEAH, WELL, COUNT ON MORE OF THAT IN THE FUTURE. 463 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:15,944 AW. 464 00:21:15,945 --> 00:21:19,708 HEY, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN ME TOMORROW 465 00:21:19,709 --> 00:21:22,682 FOR SOME SHOE SHOPPING AT THE OUTLET MALL? 466 00:21:24,854 --> 00:21:26,755 NO, CHERYL. 467 00:21:26,756 --> 00:21:29,057 ONE MIRACLE AT A TIME. 468 00:21:29,058 --> 00:21:30,860 (laughs) 31073

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