Original subtitles

The damn thing's locked!

Will somebody kindly tell me what's going on?

It's after two in the morning!

Quite all right, Lady Coot.

Lady Coot, we'll soon have a situation under control.

Let us in! Do you hear?

Bill, bang on the door!

It's all right, he's been shot in the right arm,

but it isn't the loss of blood that knocked him out.

He must have cracked his head against the floor as he fell.

Who is in there? Open this door at once!

I suppose we shall have to.

Pity!

All right, have me.

Supertender! What's going on?

What is all this?

God, old Jimmy!

Poor, poor boy!

Lady Coot, do you think you could help me down?

Battle! What has happened?

It's all right.

Did you get him?

Who?

The man who climbed down the ivy.

I was standing by the door there,

grabbed him, and we had a set two.

Oh, it is probably some nasty murderer's cat burglar.

Oh, I'm afraid we've made rather a mess of things.

Where's Leopold, the pride of the blue-nosed automatics?

Is this?

Oh, that's him.

How many shots have been fired?

One shot.

I'm disappointed in Leopold.

I couldn't have pressed the button properly,

otherwise it would have gone on fire.

Who shot first?

Well, I did, I'm afraid.

You see, he twisted himself out of my grasp

and was heading for the window.

So I closed my finger down on Leopold

and let him have it.

That's when he turned and fired at me.

After that, I suppose I...

I must have taken the count.

My God, Lomax, you don't think they've got away with it?

I'm afraid they have, sir.

When the disturbances began down here,

I ran straight to O'Rourke's room.

It was locked.

Yours wasn't, sir.

There's a communicating door.

He's heavily drugged and the formula's gone.

Battle, I left all the arrangements to you.

If those papers are falling into the wrong hands...

In point of fact, sir,

they fell straight into this young lady's hands,

if you'll excuse me.

Sir Stanley, I think you will find everything you want there.

My dear young lady,

we are infinitely obliged to you.

Yes, indeed.

I'm afraid I don't know who you are.

Oh, this is Miss Wade, Mr. Lomax.

Gerald Wade's sister.

Superintendent,

wouldn't it be wise to send for a doctor?

That's very thoughtful of you, Ponga.

Mr. O'Rourke is unconscious.

Phone to Dr. Hanson.

Bill, let's go and see if we can do anything for him

until the doctor gets...

In fact, I could do something!

That's a very motherly woman.

Very motherly woman.

Now, I wonder...

Don't stop there, Superintendent.

I was wondering where Sir Oswald Coote might be.

Picking up rubbish from the lawn.

Now, what's been happening?

Attempted robbery, sir.

You mean the formula's safe?

Mm-hmm.

Well, then, this must have been thrown down

by one of the thieves as he took to his heels.

I've handled it very carefully.

I thought you might want to examine it for fingerprints.

You think of everything, Sir Oswald.

What I can't understand is why nobody pursued this thief.

It wasn't until we heard Mr. Theses' story

that we knew there was anyone to pursue.

He must have leapt for it as soon as he fired the shot.

Then why wasn't the search organized?

My men were told to hold anyone attempting to leave the grounds.

And yet they haven't done so.

And yet they haven't done so.

Are you telling me all that you know, Superintendent?

All that I know?

Yes, Sir Oswald.

What I think is another matter.

And what do you think, Superintendent?

But one thing, sir.

I think there's far too much ivy about this place.

Excuse me, sir.

You've got a bit in your coat here.

Far too much ivy.

It complicates things.

Excuse me, Superintendent.

Oh, there you are, Sir Oswald.

Lady Coote's just discovered that you're missing.

She's terribly upset.

She thinks you've been murdered by the thieves.

My wife is an incredibly stupid woman.

Yes, an extremely competent young man.

What's his name?

Bateman?

Rupert Bateman.

Commonly known as Pongo.

I was at school with him.

Bold left arm.

Deadly serious.

No sense of humor.

That's a pity.

Gentlemen who have no sense of humor

get to taking themselves too seriously

and that leads to Mr.

Superintendent Battle.

Yes, Lady Arnie.

Don't you think it very odd

that Sir Oswald was wandering about

in the middle of the night in the garden

without explaining himself?

Sir Oswald's a great man

and a great man always knows better

than to explain

unless an explanation is demanded.

But, er,

what I should like to know

is just how Miss Wade

happened to arrive on the scene, sir Pat.

Very convenient.

Hmm.

She ought to be ashamed of herself

hoodwinking us all as she did.

Why should I be kept out of it?

I never meant to be.

And when you rang up and said

there might be danger

I was more determined than ever.

So I just came over here

to see what was going on.

And I was looking around me

when, plop,

something suddenly fell right at my feet.

A packet, Miss Wade, I think

was deliberately thrown down to you.

Or so, I believe.

To me?

Well, to the person

the thief thought you were here.

This is getting very involved.

Superintendent.

One moment, please.

Lady Arnie.

When you came into the room

did you turn the light on, sir?

Yes.

Superintendent.

Would you please, Lady Arnie.

Was there anyone in the room?

No one at all.

Well, there is now.

I say.

You've got water.

One moment, Lady Arnie.

Let me handle this.

What on earth's happened?

That, Mr. Everson is what

I'm trying to find out.

I say, Countess.

It's all right.

It's really all right.

Don't try to talk.

It's bad for you.

Just lie still.

Don't say anything

until you feel quite all right again.

Just lie still

and close your eyes.

You'll feel quite all right again in a minute.

Ah.

Um.

Have some, have some,

have some,

but brandy.

That's all right.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'll try some, but brandy.

That's the stuff.

Don't you think, Bundle,

that some brandy will be good?

You only say, Belle,

leave her alone.

You'll be all right.

Ah.

I am here.

Take your time.

Don't say anything

until you're quite all right again.

It is coming back to me.

Yes, it is coming back.

Have some water.

A little brandy, perhaps.

Tell me, please.

What has happened?

I was hoping you might be able to tell us.

I...

I could not sleep.

So I think to myself,

perhaps I come downstairs to find the magazine.

The house is very still.

I come down the stairs quietly.

And I come in here.

Having, of course, switched on the light?

No.

No, no, no.

I did not switch on the light.

I heard you see my little electric torch with me.

Ah.

Ah.

Suddenly I hear something.

A footstep.

So I switch out my torch and I hide behind the screen.

Then the door opens.

The light is switched on.

And the man, the burglar, he is in the room with me.

I say, but...

I nearly died of fright.

I try not to breathe.

The man stands for a moment, listening.

Then he crosses the room to the window.

Then I hear him come back again.

And he switches out the light and locks the door.

Mon Dieu, I think I'm locked in the room with a monster.

Then again, I hear him go to the window.

And I think, I hope perhaps he has gone out that way.

When prestissimo it all begins.

What does?

Oh, never.

I shall never forget it.

It was horrible.

Two men trying to murder each other.

Furniture crashing, falling about the room.

It was horrible.

The criminal, he had an evil voice.

The other one was cultured, English.

A gentleman, I think.

He was swearing a lot.

Clearly a gentleman.

And then a flash and a shot.

And the bullet must have hid the bookcase beside me.

And I suppose I must have fainted.

You poor dear.

How rotten for you.

Silly idiot.

I'm so glad I've got a cultured English voice.

Your arm.

It is all tied up.

Was it you then?

Hmm.

Oh, but I can assure you I would never have dreamed of using the language I did.

I've had any suspicion there was a lady present.

Wasn't a bullet, Countess.

It was the shell of a cartridge.

But we shall find a bullet somewhere tomorrow.

It is absurd, I know, but I still feel extremely faint.

Let me help you to your room.

A bundle will come with you.

Thank you very much, Lady Eileen.

Thought I should prefer to be alone.

I'm really quite all right.

Perhaps you would be so kind as to help me up the stairs.

Sure you don't want any help?

I'm sure Mr. Eversley will be able to give me whatever help I may require.

Oh!

Oh!

Countess!

You all right?

I'm looking after her.

Dr. Hodson says there's nothing seriously wrong with O'Rourke, Superintendent.

Says he'll see you now.

Come and hold my hand, Nurse.

Witness a strong man's agony.

You know the stunt.

Lady Eileen, whatever is the matter?

You look as if you'd seen a ghost.

Not a ghost, Superintendent.

A mole.

A mole.

A mole.

A mole.

A mole.

A mole.

A mole.

A mole.

A mole.

A mole.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Countess!

You all right?

I'm looking after her.

Dr. Hodson says there's nothing seriously wrong with O'Rourke, Superintendent.

Says he'll see you now.

Come and hold my hand, Nurse.

Witness a strong man's agony.

You know the stunt.

Ah!

Lady Eileen, whatever is the matter?

You look as if you'd seen a ghost.

Not a ghost, Superintendent.

A mole.

A what?

A mole.

A mole.

A mole.

A mole isn't much to get up on Lady Eileen.

And two women might easily have an identical mole.

And the Countess is very well known in her own country.

Then this isn't the real Countess.

Look at tonight.

Look at the way we found her.

I don't believe she fainted at all.

I tell you, Superintendent, it's the same woman that I saw at the meeting of the Seven Dials Club.

Well, all right, she was wearing a wig then, or she's wearing one now.

It's the same woman, I'm sure of it.

Lady Eileen, I'm going to trust you.

The Countess's conduct is suspicious, very suspicious, I know that, as well as you two, but we've got to be sure.

And if you were sure?

You've heard the expression, respect to catch a mackerel.

Meaning?

Don't bother about what I mean, Lady Eileen, but remember this.

I know all about the Countess.

And I want her left alone.

Hmm?

I'm the man at the top.

And I want her to be scared.

And I want her left alone.

And that was kind of a, a beautiful day.

Very well for sure.

And I want her left alone.

I can't do it.

And I can't do it.

I can't do it.

But I want her left alone.

here we have the two bullets the larger fired from mr thesid's coat automatic embedded itself

in the sofa here now this little fellow fired from limouser 7.65 after passing through mr

thesid's arm grazed the door there and i found it embedded in the trunk of a seizure see now as for

the pistol itself any fingerprints the man who handled it wore gloves sir pity man who knew his

business would wear gloves sir am i right in thinking sir oswald that you found this pistol

just about 10 yards from the top of the steps leading up to the toast almost exactly i'd say

would have been wise sir if you'd lifted exactly where it was i'm sorry what is your theory of the

pistol being there i presumed it had been dropped by the thief as he ran not dropped sarswald there's

only one set of footprints crossing the lawn there your own well can you be sure of that battle quite

sure sir this pistol was thrown with some force made a dent in the ground everything points to

this pistol having been thrown from the terrace does it really matter superintendent we like to get

things right you know now i wonder if one of you gentlemen would be so kind as to take this pistol

and throw it uh sir ottoman

that's very kind would you care to come out here sir now if you'd be good enough sir to throw the gun as

far as you can out onto the lawn there

thank you sir my lord what's he up to now i wonder

i must say it was a stroke of luck your being there at the right moment

right moment to find the gun and in the dark too i stumbled on it i uh i didn't sleep very well

last night that's it just the same sort of mark although by the way you threw it a good 10 yards

further but then you're a very powerfully built man aren't you sir i remember i had insomnia once

terrible experience i don't suffer from insomnia as a rule i'm an excellent sleeper just last night i

felt unusually restless i i thought the night air might do me good

well indeed it all seems clear enough to me battle the man fires a shot disabling mr thesiger flings

away the weapon then runs along the terrace and down the gravel path well he ought to have been

caught by my men your men if i may say so battle seemed to have been singularly remiss

they failed to see miss wade coming in now if they could miss seeing her coming in they could just as

easily miss the thief going out but he can't have it both ways battle i mean either he ran across the

lawn which you say he didn't or he went down the path damn it all man where else could he have gone

but up the ivy again sir john nonsense if the man was trying to escape he wouldn't bolt back into the

house safe his place for him sir i say what's this exhibit zed the last of our little lot

it is or rather it once was a glove where did you find that in the grate nearly burnt but not quite

looks as if it'd been chewed by a dog yeah i wonder if uh would you be so kind sir sir there's very kind

a telephone call for you superintendent

well do you touch any importance to this discovery superintendent you never know so

as well what's going to be important and what isn't

well if you'll excuse me gentlemen well even if you're right about the countess bundle she couldn't

have nearly stolen the formula all by herself she was behind the screen all the time she said she

was behind the screen all the time who was the man who climbed down the ivy and took a shot at me

number seven all right who is number seven i thought of coming to see you you know

after all we had a lot in common you've lost jerry who was my friend

and ronnie i was getting rather fond of you you know i thought perhaps

together we might have found some reason why what happened happened exactly

what do you think happened to them bill they discovered something connected with the foreign

office more complicated than that but surely if they had they would have shared it with you

they trusted you ronnie got nearest to it only you haven't

someone really evil behind this lorraine i know it

do you know pity my man stevens isn't number seven got the brain for it don't be silly jimmy sorry

to tell you the truth there's only one person i'm sure it isn't codders oh now look what you've done

i think i don't have a few words with lady coot what with my wound and my charming conversation i've

made a complete conquest there what are you up to eileen what do we know about number seven he's determined

he's used to being obeyed he has some sort of position which places him above suspicion

and he's ruthless there's only one person answers that description sir oswald i'm going to find out

more about him

oh my dear oh my dear eileen you don't have to leave us well i i seem to be the center of some

very curious goings-on lately my father's very worried about me i think i better go and hold his hand

oh this little hand will indeed be comforting oh my dear eileen in these days of changed and

unsettled conditions when family life is at a premium when the old standards are falling it

becomes our class to set an example by showing that dignity modesty and filial respect do still mean

something now i will confess my child my dear dear child i have in the past been somewhat disappointed

by your levity i now perceive the earnest beauty of your mind the butterfly emerging from the chrysalis

it will be a great delight to me if i may to help form that budding mind i have a very interesting

new work on political economy i'll look it out now and you can take it back to chimneys with you

excuse me when you've finished it we can discuss it together look here what the hell was goddess

holding your hand for it wasn't my hand it was my budding mind don't be an ass bundle we're going to

discuss political economy together you sure that's all that's very definitely all

lady coot you know that was an awfully jolly weekend we had with you at chimneys

well it would have been awfully jolly if it hadn't been poor old jerry kicking the bucket like that

jolly nice girls i find girls very perplexing nowadays we're not at all romantic you know

why i embroidered ankerchiefs for sir oswald with my own heir when we were engaged did you

how marvelous but i suppose girls don't have long enough hair to do that nowadays

excuse me sir oswald has sent me to tell you lady coot there's been a change of plan

mr lomax has very kindly offered to let us stay on at the abbey until the palace is ready

he's going to his club thank you mr bakeman it'll be nice to settle for a few weeks at least and the

abbey is a topping place don't you think so ponga topping

abbey's palaces sometimes i wonder where it's all going to end you should have seen the little

house we had in yorkshire mr sassiger when sir oswald was playing mr coot

such a nice lounge all and a pretty little drawing room with an inglenook but now nothing will suit him

but the very best he's got on and he's got on till he till he can't stop getting on he's one of the

richest men in england now but to so satisfy him no still want more he wants to be well i don't know

what he wants to be i can tell you right into me a little sometimes

well now we're here we better make the most of it

i thought you were getting on rather well with that god daughter of mine

oh vera oh she's a panic are you doing anything this weekend i think i can't cancel oh well then

i'll invite her down and you can come too a skeleton key sir all i want to know stevens is where one

buys them i regret to say sir that for once your inquiry is beyond my cognizance very good stevens

one might venture a comment sir venture away when i came into your service sir it was as a

gentleman's gentleman not as a gentleman burglar's gentleman there has been no confusion of intent

has there sir none at all damn it stevens if i were a gentleman burglar i wouldn't be asking you

where i might buy a skeleton key would i i'd have one i take your point sir

there is a gentleman of my fraternity who dropped into the mulberry bush of an evening

yes in the household of lord mount vernon sir answers occasionally to the epilation

soft poured peat he might be able to help i would be most grateful stevens if on my behalf you

would approach soft poured peat is a matter of some urgency my good sir i need it this weekend

i think that's amphibious ambidextrous means using either hand equally well it came up in the times

last week as a matter of fact eight across uh double dealing that was the clue rather clever i

thought are you grandpa am i what what jimmy said double dealing ambidextrous that's it certainly

i can write with either hand but not with both at once would hardly be practical yeah i think that'd

be a bit too subtle you'll never make a bridge i know dear you always say saying that's another

bound you are mr dasinger check those figures we need for monday sir i'm afraid you're right there's

an error at the pre-assessment stage which means we'll have to go through the whole damn report

where is it all the papers are in study sir ah um in that case i'd better say good night

this could take till well after midnight that's all right dear the young ones will keep me company

oswald now what about a lovely game of german whist good night all good night sir mr tessinger would

you kind of close the doors very drafty these old apples my pleasure lady crude

you kind of close all that way

um

no

Damn.

My goodness Pongo you did give me a start slinking about like that in the dark.

There was a noise. I thought burglars had got in. Came down to sea.

You think of everything Pongo. Even a lethal weapon.

It's as well to be armed. You never know who you're gonna meet.

I'm glad you didn't shoot. I'm rather tired of being shot at.

I might easily have done so.

What did you come down for?

I was hungry. I rather fancied a dry biscuit.

There are some biscuits and a tin by your bed.

Ah, now that's where this staff worker's gone wrong, old boy.

You see there is a tin with biscuits for starving visitors on it.

But when the starving visitor opened it, nothing inside.

So I just toddled down here to find something.

And now I think I'll just toddle back to bed.

Good night Pongo.

Good night Pongo.

Damn.

I've been thinking extraordinary thing about those biscuits.

Would you mind if I just...

Help yourself, old boy.

Very remiss.

Night.

So nothing?

Nothing at all.

Apart from the most frightful attack of indigestion brought on by too many biscuits.

I must say you do seem to have been awfully clever where Pongo was concerned.

There's only one word for him.

Last week's crossword, ten letters meaning everywhere at once.

Ubiquitous?

But we're no nearer number seven, are we?

Not yet, no.

Mr. Eversley is here, my lady.

Bill!

Don't you don't mind?

I had to collect Codder's letters from the abbey, so I thought I'd look in.

Could have chosen a better moment.

We're having a council of war.

War?

Yes, Jimmy spent a thoroughly unprofitable weekend with the Cootes.

If Sir Oswald is number seven, there's not a shred of proof of it.

You think he is?

Have you got a better suggestion?

Oh, wine, Meville.

No.

Something I meant to ask you, nearly forgot.

Do you remember that glove Superintendent Battle found, the half-burnt one?

Glove?

It had been thrown on the fire.

Do you remember he asked you to try it on your hand?

What was left of it, why?

And Sir George and Sir Oswald were there too, weren't they?

Yes.

He could have asked either of them to try it on.

Yes, of course.

But he didn't, he chose you.

Don't you see what that means?

Your right hand was in a sling.

By Jove, it was rather odd, now I come to think of it.

It being a left-handed glove, I mean, Battle never said anything.

He didn't want to draw attention to it, but don't you see what it means?

The man who shot at you held the pistol in his left hand.

And Sir Oswald is ambidextrous.

We were talking about it last night while playing bridge.

Now will you understand that Sir Oswald is number seven?

Oh, but why stage all that comma did the Abbey when he had the formula before then at his own works?

Simple suspicion had to be diverted from him and placed in another quarter.

And he's very good at diverting suspicion.

He doesn't have to bother.

He walked him through that window, two o'clock in the morning, wearing his dinner jacket, saying he'd been for a walk.

What small battle believed him?

I wonder.

Don't despair, my dear child.

It took me years to perfect me game.

I did try.

Yes, yes, I know who you did, my dear.

It was a very laudable effort.

Mind you, I've always thought if God meant women to play golf, he'd have made them differently.

Croquet now, that's a woman's game.

Very pretty sight, a young woman playing croquet, that beguiling tilt of the head, that graceful curb of the spine.

Ruined the game when those short skirts came into fashion.

What one misses is the provocative hint of the ankle?

Mr. Lomax is here, my lord.

Well, tell him I'm not.

I'm afraid he saw your lordship practicing as he came up the drive.

Oh, really, Treadwell.

Well, where have you put him?

In the drawing room, my lord.

Ah, my dear fellow, my dear, dear fellow.

I'm delighted to see you, absolutely delighted.

I won't beat about the bush.

I wanted to see you particularly, very particularly.

Ah.

About Eileen.

Eileen?

Eileen.

I think, if I may say so, Caterham, you hardly appreciate the fact that she is no longer a child.

Oh, you mean bundle.

Yes.

She is a woman and, what's more, a very charming and talented woman.

I dare say, but she's very restless, you know.

Never content to be in the same place for two minutes together.

You mean she is not content to stagnate.

She interests herself in the questions of the day and brings her fresh and lively young intellect to bear upon them.

Now, perhaps my dear Caterham, you will begin to get some inkling of my purpose in visiting you this morning.

Oh, dear fellow, you can't want a maddie bundle.

Oh, I really shouldn't do that if I were you.

Just go home and think about it. There's a good fellow.

Count twenty, that sort of thing.

Always a pity to go out proposing and making a fool of yourself.

I dare say you mean your advice kindly, Caterham, but I must confess you do put it somewhat strangely.

However, I have decided to put my fortune to the test. Have I your permission to speak to Eileen?

It's nothing to do with me, my dear chap. Eileen manages her own affairs.

If she were to come to me tomorrow and tell me she was going to marry the chauffeur, I shouldn't make the least objection.

Oh, where shall I find her?

Well, I don't think I really know she might be anywhere.

As I told you, she's never in the same place for two minutes together.

No repose, no repose at all.

Not much good for a politician's wife, you know.

A politician ought to know where his wife is, beside him.

Wearing the right hat, smiling, leading the applause.

Not tearing round the country in motorcars, knocking people down and shooting them.

Might lose you an awful lot of votes.

I beg you, my dear fellow, and view your parliamentary career

to reconsider.

I never reconsider.

Eileen's brain and acute political sense cannot help but further my career to our mutual advantage.

Well, who knows, with her at my side, I might even get to Downing Street.

Mr Lomax would like a word with you in the house, my lady.

Thanks, Treadwell.

Mr Eversley, my lord.

Oh, Bill, my dear chap.

Looking for poor old George Lomax, I suppose.

Well, if you want to really do him a good turn, just pop into the dining room

and tell him the cabinet's called an immediate meeting.

It's really not fair to let the poor chap mix it to an ass of himself.

I've not come for codders, sir.

It's Bundle, I want to see.

Well, you can't see her either.

Not just now, at any rate.

George is never there.

Spluttering horribly at this very moment.

What's he saying?

Oh, some damn nonsense, I suppose.

Never speak too much, that's my motto.

Just grab the girl's hand and let events take their course.

What course?

Shhh.

He's proposing.

Proposing?

Proposing what?

Marriage to Bundle.

Can't think why.

It seems to me that he's reached his second childhood.

Second time round, too.

Can't explain it any other way.

Proposing to Bundle?

The dirty swine at his age?

He says he's in the prime of life.

Well, he's decrepit, he's senile.

Well, he's just five years younger than I am.

Hello, Bill.

I say, what's the matter?

Don't look your usual bright little self.

I'm worried.

I was worried anyway, but something turned up that gave me a joke.

Has anything very extraordinary happened, William?

Something damned odd.

I can't make out of a tale of it.

The seven-dials business?

The seven-dials business.

I got a letter this morning.

What sort of a letter?

A letter from Ronnie Deverer's executors.

It seems he left instructions.

If he was to die suddenly, a certain sealed envelope was to be sent to me exactly a fortnight

after his death.

And they've sent it to you?

Yes.

And you've opened it?

Yes.

Well, what did it say?

Oh, come on, old chap.

Pull yourself together.

It seems to have knocked the wind out of you, whatever it is.

Have a drink.

It's what's in the letter.

Simply can't believe it, that's all.

Oh, nonsense.

You must get into the habit of believing six impossible things before breakfast.

Like the White Queen in Alice.

I do it regularly.

Wait a minute.

I say, Stevens?

Yes, sir?

Pop out and get me some cigarettes, would you?

A hundred, sir?

Thank you, Stevens.

I've sent Stevens out so we can talk undisturbed.

Now then, Bill.

Let's hear all about it.

It's...

It's incredible.

Oh, thank goodness I've caught you.

Look, I haven't got time to explain everything, but Bill has just been around to see me with

the most amazing story you ever heard.

Bill?

Yes.

Now listen, this is what you have to do.

Come up to town at once.

Go straight to the Seven Dials Club and get rid of that footman fellow.

Alfred, you leave that to me.

Then watch out for me and Bill.

Oh, don't show yourselves at the windows, but as soon as we drive up, let us in at once.

Wish I knew what it was all about.

I'll explain when we meet.

Well, I'll tell you this much.

We're going to get ready the hell of a surprise for me.

Oh, what's that?

Oh, what's that?

It's...

It's incredible.

Oh, thank goodness I've caught you.

Look, I haven't got time to explain everything, but Bill has just been around to see me with

the most amazing story you ever heard.

Bill?

Yes.

Now listen, this is what you have to do.

Come up to town at once.

Go straight to the Seven Dials Club and get rid of that footman fellow.

Alfred, you leave that to me.

Then watch out for me and Bill.

Oh, don't show yourselves at the windows, but as soon as we drive up, let us in at

once.

I wish I knew what it was all about.

I'll explain when we meet.

Well, I'll tell you this much.

We're going to get ready the hell of a surprise for number seven.

Alfred, I've come to warn you.

The police are looking for you.

There's a warrant out for Mr. Mosgorowski.

And the best thing you can do is clear out as quick as you can.

He has ten pounds to help you get away.

I shall say you've got exactly three minutes.

My lady.

However do I thank you, my lady.

One return deserves another.

Well, I've arranged that all right.

Well, was it necessary to be well quite so dressed?

It's safer.

I don't know what Jimmy and Bill are up to.

We don't doubt Alfred coming back in the middle of it and wrecking everything.

Well, they've wasted no time, they're here.

I'll open the door for them.

Stop there a moment, Bill.

Blow the horn if you think anyone's watching the place.

There you are, you two.

Now then, where's the key of the room you got into last time?

I think it's through here.

This looks like the one.

Right.

There's no time to lose.

Right.

I think it's through here.

It's through here.

this is the getaway door so this must be the cupboard you hid in bundle that's the one

we shall have to shift all this stuff or run down and get bill willy lorraine there's no need for

him to keep watch any longer what are you going to do wait till the bill comes and you shall hear

the whole story this is his staff work and a jolly creditable bit of work it is too

i'd say it must have been a bit of a squeeze in here wasn't it certainly wasn't an experience

i get a repeat it's bill it's bill what about it lorraine what's happened he's in the car still

but he doesn't move or speak i think he's dead in god's name

i don't understand is he

but he's not dead look here we've got to get him inside

goodness no policeman comes along

he was all right when i left him i suppose we should have realized we couldn't turn up on

their doorsteps without something happening look i'm going to get a doctor you stay here and look

after him don't be scared either of you but i'd better leave you leopold just in case

i'll be back as soon as i possibly can

i wish we could do something this is awful i wonder why jimmy left us the revolver

they can't really be danger if they could get bill i know but we're in the house nobody can get him

without our hearing them i wish i knew what to do hot coffee you give them that sometimes i've got

some smelling salts in my bag and some brandy where is it i must have left it in the room upstairs you

stay here i'll get it try patting his face gently

she's dead i know she's dead oh my darling bundle i do love you so bundle

oh my darling one oh my own dearest sweetest little bundle what shall i do oh god what shall

i do i've killed her i've killed her no you haven't you silly idiot oh bundle you're alive of course i'm

alive how long have you been i mean when did you come to about five minutes ago well why didn't you

open your eyes or say something i didn't want to i was enjoying myself enjoying yourself oh listening

to all those nice things you were saying you'll never say them so nicely again you'll be too beastly

self-conscious well you you really didn't mind you know i do love you so i i have done for ages

only i never dare tell you so yes silly juggies i thought you'd only laugh at me no bundle seriously

could you ever could you ever bring yourself to could i ever bring myself to what would change

your mind and marry me instead of that fatuous ass codders you think i'd marry a fool like that

you mean you haven't you don't i haven't and i don't well then please marry me my own darling bundle

i know i'm awfully thick-headed but i do love you so oh oh oh do let's be sensible i got a rocking

head and i've been nearly squeezed to death by you i want to get the hang of things now where are we and

what's happened we are locked in the upper room at the seven dials and you are not going to believe

what's happened if you do believe it you're certainly not going to like it why what has happened

well i better just tell you i've sent stevens out so we can talk undisturbed

now then bill let's hear all about it

it's it's incredible well then it's sure to be true

in this letter ronnie said that he was almost certain that he discovered the identity of the

person who'd been selling this country's secrets to the highest bidder he said that if anything

happened to him and his lawyers forwarded the letter to me i would know for sure that his

suspicions were correct his death would prove it

when we all went down to chimneys that weekend jerry wade told ronnie that he was almost sure he knew

who it was but he he didn't name the person

the sheriff was murdered ronnie was sure he'd been murdered by a member of the house party

that's why he fixed up that trick with the seven clocks on the mantelpiece he got us all in there

one by one ronnie was murdered ronnie also said that he was on the point of confiding in you but

something held him back in the letter he names the person he suspected

pussy by jerry

that's why i've come to you

i want you to tell me it isn't true i've said pill you must learn to believe six impossible things

before breakfast

hi

my ronnie's last words were seven dials tell jimmy fesedure exactly

like that

getting sleepy it won't be long now before you're all together again ronnie and jerry

and good old bill you should be dead why aren't you dead

i only look an ass i poured the drink away while he was out of the room

he's out there now doing what planning what he thinks you're dead and i'm nearly dying

he won't stop there he'll get what he wants not if i can help it darling

are you sure it's all right oh yes i hit her pretty hard

are they well on the way but hauling bill upstairs has done my wounded arm no good at all he's such a

dead weight as you might say come on help me what are you going to do open the cupboard door why

10 down seven letters walled in for good answer i don't know immured hold him steady

it was clever of you to cotton on i knew you'd left the gun in case i needed it and when you slammed the

front door i knew you hadn't left the house how don't i always know when you're near

there

that should make a charming surprise for the seven dials

i don't care how long it takes but someday we'll have to do is watch this house and wait

i don't care how long it takes but someday the seven dials will meet again and i shall find out at

last the real identity of number seven i should hate to keep you waiting mr visitor

i wouldn't move any of you this is trained on your precious number seven and i will use it oh he will

use it but not until his curiosity has been satisfied if you have been waiting for me mr

thesiger i for my part have been waiting for you a man who kills as lightly and ruthlessly as you do

and for what reason profit isn't that your motive too not your kind of profit mr

thesiger oh you don't think i did it just for money do you although i must admit it made life a lot

more pleasant no no

i did it for pleasure

something to make the blood tingle

everyone thinking what a jolly nice young man what an ass

what i really enjoyed what i loved was manipulating everybody making events fall into patterns my patterns and always getting my own way

and now i'm going to get my own way once again

i'm going to rip that mask off your face myself

and then i'm going to kill you you can't kill us all

only you the rest of them can wait come here number seven come here

who are you who do you work for

what do you want

that's something you'll never know

oh i always said you were a fool but not as you hoped a drugged fool you really should have

thought of something a little different this time oh but it took a long time for you to work

it out didn't it oh and you you never even began to suspect did you no all right

so they've got me

but one thing still gives me enormous pleasure

the seven dials have got you too take him away

what are you going to do to him an eye for an eye

so

lady eileen brent you have been summoned to an emergency meeting of the seven dials

approach the table i should do as they say about you

lady eileen you have been present unasked at the secret councils of this society

it is therefore necessary that you identify yourself with our aims and ambitions

the place two o'clock you may notice is vacant it is that place that is offered you now

i'd rather die i think you should not answer precipitately you do not know as yet what you

are refusing i can make a pretty good guess i doubt it you'll have to get rid of one or two

preconceived ideas of yours i'm afraid about this society for instance you're just as evil as james

thesager you merely have different methods of achieving the same goal no lady eileen you're wrong

i shall now introduce you to a very creditable band of amateurs who have done work

that nobody else could have done they have been willing to face real danger danger the very worst

kind and they've done it for one reason an honest wish to serve their country first of all there is

mr mosgorowski who as you know runs this club he is the most valuable anti-bolshevist agent in england

number five is count andras of the hungarian embassy and a dear friend of the late gerard weighty

four mr howard felt an american journalist whose nose for scenting news is remarkable number three i think you already know

you number two can only show an empty place it is the place belonging to mr ronnie devereau a very gallant

young man who died for his country number one well number one was mr gerald wade who made the same sacrifice

his place has been taken by a lady who has proved her fitness to have it i don't think lady eileen

recognizes me bundle may i introduce miss barbara st moore ronnie's cousin and one of our most talented

young actresses i was right about that mole no i shall have to remember that next time you can change

your skin your voice your hair but a mole never it's no good i'm completely bewildered i suppose they

all know who you are no mr mosgorowski is my lieutenant he's known all along the others have taken their

orders from him do i want to know who you are hope you do lady eileen

superintendent battle it was jerry wayne who first suggested to me the idea of a band of amateurs

remember what you said yourself lady eileen people who could go where the professionals couldn't i warned

him it would be dangerous but he didn't care nor did any of his friends and that's how it began but

the fact that the seven dials finally caught up with the one man they wanted most in the world is entirely

due to the courage of mr eversley he went to see mr thesard of this afternoon knowing full well that he

might never return from that interview alive what made you suspect him little things i suppose that

built up gradually he's angling for an invitation at the abbey started it it was actually lorraine that

made me certain i was on the right track well when i talked to her she she listens

i was wandering around with his arm in a sling i suddenly thought of that left-handed glove suppose

he'd been the person wearing it all along but it all started with ronnie devereux's last words

that the seven dials had killed him but of course i knew that that couldn't be said

no it was the seven dials that mr devereux wanted told and what he wanted them told was something

about mr thesarder that jimmy thesarder killed jerry wade he slipped the poison into a whiskey and soda

which mr wade had downstairs before retiring to bed cheers cheers cheers that's why he was already

feeling sleepy when he wrote that letter later when everyone was asleep and the alarm clocks were in

position james sesager pressed the unconscious jerry wade's fingers around a glass and an empty coral bottle

and left them by his bed

and left them by his bed

the result death by misadventure thank you then ronnie devereux made the fatal mistake

he confided in the one person who had already given jerry wade away

lorraine devoted body and soul to james sesager she was prepared to sacrifice her half-brother

and later ronnie devereux

so when you're going to arrest sir oswald sir oswald well jimmy thesarder couldn't have tried to

steal the formula number seven didn't try to steal the formula that leaves only one person who could

have tried to steal the formula i knew it was him when he came in from the garden that night

who sir oswald of course no lady island it was not sir oswald who was it then tell me what you saw

what you heard well i went to look for jimmy when i saw the dawn return so i ran to look for bill

and then the fight broke out miss st moore and i decided to keep watch between us she was stationed

in the drawing room and like bundle i heard the fighting and came running miss st moore i was

hiding behind the screen when james thesarder came in i thought he'd gone when the fight started

i was in the garden under some trees when miss wade ran straight into my arms we heard the fight

we heard two shots we all heard that because that's what we were meant to hear i don't understand

you will listen more how many people were fighting two how do you know that i heard them did you

see them no no now listen and i'll tell you how in the end i reconstructed the whole story to begin

with miss wade and mr thesarder in this together they have a rendezvous for a precise time 2 a.m so let's go back

but he had orders not to stop anyone coming in only going out

and so miss wade makes her way towards the house now we come to mr thesarder

after the lights were turned out miss st moore said that when james thesarder went over to the window

he was so still she thought he must have left the room suppose then that mr thesarder had gone outside

where next

up the ivy

into mr thesarder into mr lorock's room

lorock having been drugged before he went to bed miss wade near the house lady arlene in the west wing

and me in the garden

mr thesarder has the formula he throws it down to miss wade she picks it up and starts running back to her

car while upstairs lady eileen sees the door handle turn mr thesarder is turning it

trying to find the easy way out but the key is under a rook's pillow

james says as he comes back down the ivy

the island's desperate to find them ever see

suede is running away from the house but who does she meet

me at that moment the game changes it is no longer attack but defense

miss wade tells her story she is very clever her story is perfectly true perfectly sensible

and it gives mr thesarder time to get back into the house

where he proceeds to fight himself

you see he has to establish an enemy

his own automatic thought the day before is fired at an imaginary assailant the countess knows to what

effect you all heard it then thesarder played his master stroke with his gloved left hand he takes

the mauser and shoots himself in the right arm i heard the shots miss wade heard them he ran to the

house james thesarder now only has a few seconds he brings the pistol from the terrace

tears off the glove with his teeth

and when we arrive he is lying on the floor in a faint so that's how he did it

and i thought it was poor old sir oswald i never really suspected him but i must say i did have my

suspicions about that young chapel's secretary particularly when i heard he was left-handed

too that gun had to be thrown left-handed to land where he did oh not a silly ass like old pongo

not a solemn card like him old pongo as you call him is a very efficient young man and one that could

put anything through a fit of mind to it in fact i think we should bear him in mind in case there's

ever another vacancy unless of course there is one now

count me in i'm ready for anything

i say should you be drinking and all that i mean after what happened to your head very good for the

head champagne perhaps i should pour it slowly all over myself you shouldn't go around letting

people hit you over the head you know bundles you really shouldn't it's very bad for the brain

it was bill who hit me the second time well why did you hit her usually all you have to do is to

speak to her she's perfectly amenable yes why did you hit me there was no time to explain i couldn't

run the risk of your not being able to keep quiet it might have been the end of both of us it um

it hasn't made you change your mind has it

sir i know this again comes a bit of a shock to you and i'm simply rotten golfer but

may i marry your daughter my dear chap i welcome you with open arms anything to keep her out of

the clutches of that damn fool george lomas oh this calls for a toaster hey is what's your name again

uh bill sir you're not the one she ran over oh there bundle bill to your future

so there's only one thing something that's always puzzled me why is she called bundle

you'll find out my dear boy you'll find out

uh

uh

uh

uh

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.