All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 03x25 - Mothers Day.

(music) Thank you for being a friend

(music) Traveled down the road and back again

(music) Your heart is true

(music) You're a pal and a confidante

(music) And if you threw a party

(music) Invited everyone you knew

(music) You would see
The biggest gift would be from me

(music) And the card attached would say

(music) Thank you for being a friend (music)

- Happy Mother's Day, Ma.
- Oh, you look beautiful.

Yeah, yeah. Talk is cheap,
and so is that buffet,

so let's get movin' before
all the shrimp is gone.

We can't. Charlie Jr. Hasn't called
to wish me happy Mother's Day.

Michael hasn't called me yet.

Janet hasn't called me yet,
although she usually doesn't.

All my children called me...
except Phil.

I know he's thinking of me.
He's just short of cash.

[Phone rings]

Hello.

Person-to-person from
the Duke of Windsor to Queen Elizabeth?

Oh, that's for me. That's my Phil.

Hello. The queen's not here.
She went shopping.

Thanks for calling, Phil,
and send my love to the... damn.

Every year they catch on
quicker and quicker.

I love when Phil
calls on Mother's Day.

It's the one time
he doesn't ask for money.

One Mother's Day,
I had to ask for money.

Stan's business wasn't doing well,
and we had to ask his mother for a loan.

- [Knocking]
- [Woman] Go away!

Mama, it's me, Stanley.

- Oh, Stanley.
- Ma.

My pride and joy.

Sunshine of my life.

Hello, Mother Zbornak.

Yeah, right.

Here, Mama.
This is for you. Happy Mother's Day.

Oh, thank you, Stanley.

Ah. The Artwork of Adolf Hitler.

The minute we saw it,
we knew it was for you.

Thank you so much, Stanley.
I'm going to put it on the coffee table.

It's from Dorothy, too.

If I had to thank her,
I'd choke on the words.

Please risk it.

So, tell me, Stanley.
How are things at the novelty store?

Couldn't be better.
I was Salesman of the Month.

I'm sure you'll be proud
to know that the name Zbornak

has become synonymous
with plastic vomit.

I... I would absolutely
love a cup of tea.

Oh, sure, Stanley.
Anything you want, sweetheart.

Start being nice, otherwise
she's not gonna give us that money.

You ask. She wouldn't refuse you.

Would break Mama's heart
if she knew I was a failure.

To her, I have
the business sense of a Rockefeller

- and the charm of Cary Grant.
- I'm not surprised.

The woman drinks grain alcohol
out of a measuring cup.

Here's the tea.

This is just hot water.

Enjoy.

I just remembered.
I have an important call to make.

You know the novelty business.

The pay phone's at the end
of the trailer court.

What're you here for?
What do you want, money?

No. Absolutely not. How did you know?

I got the feeling my yutz son
crapped out at his job.

Yutz. I've never heard you say
anything bad about Stan.

I don't have to. The whole world
makes fun of him. Always has.

That's why I make him out
to be more than he is.

- Then you will give him the money.
- No.

But I'll give it to you
under one condition.

Don't ever tell Stanley it came from me.

- I don't understand.
- Stanley has a tendency to be weak.

If he knew I was a soft touch,
he'd never amount to anything.

- How much do you need?
- $500.

I'll give you a thousand.

You know, Dorothy,
I'm glad Stanley married you.

You love him, but you're tough on him.

Then why are you so mean?

If Stanley knew I liked you,
he'd hang around here all the time.

He's a yutz.
Who needs him around here?

- Dorothy.
- Oh, thank God you came.

I thought she was gonna strangle me.

- I take it you weren't able...
- We'll figure something out.

I'll call you, Mama.

- Happy Mother's Day.
- Good-bye.

- Happy Mother's Day.
- Yeah, right.

As it turned out,
Stan's mother wasn't so bad after all.

Please. The woman wasn't human.
I think she ate mice.

[Phone rings]

Hello? Charlie!

Hey, everyone, it's Charlie Jr.

Oh! Guess what. He says
it's cold in Minnesota.

Get outta here.

Is it cold enough

that if you put your tongue
on something metal, it'll stick?

Sure. I'll hold.

This might be the ideal time
to leave for that brunch.

The last Mother's Day I spent
with my mama was back in Virginia.

Mama'd been ill for some time, and she
was recovering in a convalescent home.

It was a lovely place.

Stay right there. I want you to watch
the proper way for a lady

to make an entrance
on the arm of a handsome gentleman.

You look just wonderful, Mama.

- Happy Mother's Day.
- Oh, is today Mother's Day?

Don't you remember?
I called you and told you I'd be here.

Of course. Of course, Virginia.

No, darlin'.
Virginia couldn't come. I'm Blanche.

Here. Look.
I brought you a little present.

Lace handkerchiefs. My.

You always used to say

that there were two things
a lady could never have enough of:

Lace handkerchiefs
and gentleman callers.

Maybe next Mother's Day'
I'll bring you a gentleman caller.

[Bell ringing]

You wanna go have some tea?

Not right now, darling.

Mama, do you remember
that Mother's Day that I almost ruined

when I ran off to get married?

No.

Sure you do.
I was a senior in high school,

and I was madly in love
with Deck Boevingloh.

We'd been dating for a month,
so it seemed perfectly logical

when he dropped by cheerleading practice
and asked me to marry him.

Oh, I thought he was
a wonderful catch at the time.

He was 40, out of work,

twice divorced, had three kids.

But the real reason I wanted
to marry him was because

his oldest daughter was
a rival of mine at cheerleading,

and I figured if I married
Deck, I'd be her mama...

and I could kick her off the squad.

Anyway, I remember
the next day, I was in the Rexall

when Deck came in lookin'
more handsome than I've ever seen him.

Oh! Black motorcycle boots,

skintight Levis,

a match in his mouth,

and a white T-shirt
with the sleeves rolled up

to reveal his brand-new
Woody the Woodpecker tattoo.

God, I was an idiot.

Anyway, he sauntered over
to me at the soda fountain

and gave me this long,
smolderin' look and said,

"So?"

Oh, I nearly fainted dead-away
on the spot. Next thing I knew,

I was sittin' in that Studebaker
racing out toward bayou country.

Deck knew this justice
of the peace who specialized

in marrying stupid teenage
girls from well-to-do families.

Lucky for me, Old Man Montgomery
had been in the Rexall that day

and overheard us making plans
and tipped off you and Daddy.

I don't know how you
got there ahead of us.

But when we pulled up
to Bubba's Chapel of Bliss...

and Tackle Shop,

there you were.

Well, I was ready
for the fight of my life,

but all you said was, "Why, darlin',

"I just came out here to give
you away with my blessing.

"I think marrying Deck

might be the best thing in
the world for you, Blanche."

Well, at 17, I wasn't about to do
anything you wanted me to do.

And you knew that.

I gave Deck back his I.D. Bracelet...

that had "Deck" on one side
and "Allergic to the Law" on the other,

hopped in the car with you and Daddy,
and we took off home.

I asked you if you were mad at me.

You said, "Why, no, darlin'.

This is the best
Mother's Day I've ever had."

Don't you remember that, Mama?

Well, I thought
that happened to Virginia.

Wasn't Virginia the slut?

No, ma'am. That was me.

Blanche, that didn't
happen on Mother's Day.

That happened Christmas Day.

19...

1949.

You're right.

Hey, that was Christmas D...

You remembered, Mama.

Blanche, there are days
when I can't remember who I am,

but trust me, I remember
every stunt you ever pulled.

That's how I got half the gray hairs
on this 85-year-old head.

Honey, you're 89.

Oh, darlin',
didn't I ever teach you anything?

No true lady ever tells her age.

Happy Mother's Day, Mama.

- Bye, Charlie. Thanks for calling.
- Now can we go eat?

No. I haven't heard from Michael yet.

Fine. Wait for your phone call.

My blood sugar'll drop.
I'll have a stroke.

This corsage'll live longer than I will.

You know how much
it means to a mother

to talk to her child on Mother's Day.

One Mother's Day, I spent
with somebody else's mother.

On my way back to St. Olaf,
I was stuck in this bus station.

Brrr! You would think I'd almost
forgotten what real cold feels like.

- I've gotten used to tropical weather.
- You here all the way from Nebraska?

- Miami.
- Miami.

That closer to Omaha or Lincoln?

Gee, it's great to be home.

They told me I could
change buses here for St. Olaf.

- That's right.
- How much?

You want the express or the yokel?

- You mean local?
- I mean yokel.

A family of first cousins plays banjo
music as the passengers get on and off.

- Do they take requests?
- No.

Give me the express.

- You got an hour to kill.
- Oh, thank you.

Excuse me. Are you waiting
for the bus to Northern Falls?

No. St. Olaf.

I've visited there. Lovely little town.

Oh, yes. Yes, it is.

Rolling hills, charming homes.

- Yes.
- Full of idiots.

Yes. What?

I never saw anything like it.
Must be the water.

I grew up in St. Olaf.
Most of my family still lives there.

Oh, no offense, dearie.

I didn't say that
everyone there was an idiot.

It just seemed, though, that per capita,
they had more than their share.

Oh, well, per capita,
you're probably right.

- Do you live in Northern Falls?
- No. I'm paying my daughter a visit.

For Mother's Day? Me, too.

Oh, not just my daughter.
All of my children.

They paid for my trip. They figured
it'd be cheaper for me to come here

than for all of them to fly there.

They figured that out?

- And they live in St. Olafs?
- Yes.

Oh, you must be very proud of them.

Oh. I am.

- So, when was it you visited St. Olaf?
- Oh, Lord, it must be 50 years ago now.

I went to a wedding.

A distant cousin of mine
married a local St. Olaf girl.

- What was the girl's name?
- Sonja Yongen...

- Yongenfrauliksteinerbrau?
- You know her?

Know her?
I was flower girl at the wedding.

There were no flowers that year because
of what happened to Old Man Smith.

He was our town florist. He was also
our town's only blacksmith.

Come to think of it,
he was our town's only black man.

When he first moved in,

the town council decided to give him
a traditional Scandinavian welcome...

gathering on his front lawn

and singing songs
and dressing up in bedsheets.

'Course, coming from Chattanooga,
he wasn't familiar with the custom.

He had a heart attack. He spent most
of the summer in intensive care.

After that, when somebody moved in,

the town council just
handed out peanut brittle...

and free passes
to the local movie house,

which they hoped to build someday.

- Are you all right? You seem upset.
- [Sighs] I was just thinking

I'm sorry I recently got a hearing aid.

Don't worry. It hardly shows at all.

At Sonja's wedding, of course without
flowers they didn't know what to do...

...and discovered she was on the hayride
with Little Lars, not Big Lars.

She yelled, "Whoa!"
And jumped right off the wagon.

[Both chuckle]

Either that story is actually funny,

or the batteries are going
in and out in my hearing aid.

Rose, I want you to know

that I think it's very sweet

that you're keeping
an old lady company like this.

Don't be silly.
I'm enjoying every minute.

Every hour.

I can't believe the buses are so late.

I should call the kids again. Are you
sure you shouldn't call your daughter?

Mother's Day isn't until tomorrow.

She knows I'll be there. I always am.

- Still, she must be worried by now.
- Rose.

My daughter's dead.

She passed away some time ago.

I go to the cemetery on Mother's Day.

It was always a special day
for the two of us.

I like to pretend it still is.

Problem is, this year
I don't think I'm going to make it.

- Aren't you feeling well?
- I ran away from the home,

and they're about to catch with me.

Are you Anna Eggerman?

Anna, they're worried
about you back at the home.

You're gonna have to come with me.

Attention! Express to Cedar Grove,

River Junction,
Northern Falls, now boarding!

For cryin' out loud, Jacob.

There's three people here.
You could've just pointed to the door.

Sheriff, there's been a mistake.

- This woman's my mother.
- I have a telex that says...

I don't care what it says. She's my
mother, and we're on our way home.

If you'll excuse us, we have
a bus to catch. Come on, Mama.

- Thank you, Rose.
- Happy Mother's Day.

It's a really sweet story, Rose.

So sell it to the Reader's Digest.
Let's get outta here.

- [Phone rings]
- Must be Michael.

Hello. Hello, Michael!

Okay. That's it. When she gets off
the phone, we're going.

I'm tired of listening
to lousy Mother's Day stories.

Sophia, don't you have a story?

I said I was tired of lousy stories.
I wouldn't mind a good one.

Picture it: Brooklyn, 1957,
the second Sunday in May.

I was getting the house ready

which mostly meant trying to get
my Salvadore into a shirt with sleeves.

- [Radio blaring]
- Turn that thing off and get up.

Mama will be here
and you look like a bum.

So, what's the problem?
She already thinks I'm a bum.

- Salvadore.
- What?

Did you get me
a present for Mother's Day?

- Why? You're not my mother.
- I'm the mother of your children.

A thousand nights of begging.
Three times, you said yes.

For that, you want a present?

It's not enough
they declare it a national holiday?

- [Knocking]
- That's Mama.

She sees you like this,
we'll never convince her to move in.

- Move! Move!
- Oh, boy.

It's a dark day in Brooklyn today.

Dodgers are moving out,
your mother's moving in!

Grandma, here we are.

I'm in a wheelchair.
I'm not blind. I can see where we are.

And it could stand a good vacuum.

Hi, Dorothy. Hello, Mama.

Where's Salvadore?
He's hiding from me.

He always hides from me.
The little monkey hates me.

Don't be silly.
Pop is crazy about you.

[Salvadore] Don't lie
to your grandmother! It's a sin!

He's not crazy about you,
but he's very fond of you.

He hates me. The man repairs
complicated machinery for a living.

Three times this month, he couldn't set
the brake on my wheelchair.

That was a coincidence.

All three times was at the top of the
stairs to the Flatbush subway station.

Mama, if Salvadore hates you,

- why does he want you to live with us?
- What?

Salvadore and I
would like you to move in.

- I am not moving in.
- Why not?

Let me tell you a story.
Picture it: Sicily, 1881.

A beautiful, young peasant girl...

- Mama, not another story.
- Sophia, come closer.

Grandma!

You're movin' in.
We think it's best for you.

- You didn't discuss it with me.
- Fine. Let's discuss it.

There's nothing to discuss!
I'm not moving in.

Dorothy, if I ever do this to you,
I want you to shoot me.

Could you put that in writing?

Dorothy, come closer.

Okay, I can solve this problem.

Take me to the top of the stairs again?

I don't want you here, huh?

This is my home.
A man's home is his castle.

- In this castle, I'm the king. Capisce?
- He's talking nonsense.

- What are you saying?
- I want you to move in.

- You mean that?
- No.

Ah! Too bad. You said it.

Happy Mother's Day, Mama.

Please!

Happy Mother's Day, Ma.

Okay, honey, just a second.
Ma, he wants to talk to you.

Hello, Michael. Have you eaten?

Well, I haven't. Good-bye. Let's roll.

Sophia, we can't.
We haven't all gotten our calls.

- Oh, forget it. She's not gonna call.
- Well, she might.

[Phone rings]

Hello.

Janet, it's so good
to hear your voice, honey.

Ma, what are you doing?

Cooking. If I wait for you to take me,
I'll starve to death.

- You're making me feel guilty.
- I know. It's Mother's Day.