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1
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:13,181
Sometimes
the world looks perfect
2
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:16,484
Nothing to rearrange
3
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,587
Sometimes you just
get a feeling
4
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:22,423
Like you need
some kinda change
5
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:27,428
No matter what the odds
are this time
6
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,597
Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
7
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:33,234
This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
8
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:37,505
Gives every dark street
a light at the end
9
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:41,309
Standing tall
10
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:45,045
On the wings of my dream
11
00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:48,082
Rise and fall
12
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:51,819
On the wings of my dream
13
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,321
The rain and thunder
14
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,189
The wind and haze
15
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:58,359
I'm bound for better days
16
00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:01,895
It's my life and my dream
17
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:04,565
Nothing's gonna
stop me now
18
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:18,412
LARRY:
We're almost there, Balki.
19
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,248
BALKI: More to the point,
the city that's the home of
20
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,615
Wayne Newton.
21
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,962
The luggage should be
up in a minute.
22
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,665
When Balki won this
"All expense paid"
trip to Las Vegas
23
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,700
did the "All expenses paid"
include, uh,
24
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,135
tips for the bellman?
25
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,106
Anybody got change
for a dollar?
26
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,749
Hi, Balki.
27
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,719
If anybody needs me, I...
28
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,189
I'll be in my room
until we go home.
29
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:04,525
Oh, Balki...
What's the matter?
30
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,760
The person on line
in front of me
31
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,863
got the last two tickets
to Wayne Newton's show.
32
00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:12,500
(SOBBING)
33
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,638
without going to
the Wayne Newton Show.
34
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:22,343
Fun without Wayne?
35
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:27,748
Fun without Wayne?
36
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:32,220
Cousin, there can be no fun...
37
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:34,922
Without...
38
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,190
Wayne.
39
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,994
Well, I think I know
a way we might get tickets.
40
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,797
Really?
41
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:47,468
And he said,
any time I'm here
42
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:48,936
Oh, you mean Clint?
43
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:54,141
An old boyfriend
of Jennifer's
44
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,909
(GIGGLES)
45
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:57,745
(LAUGHS)
46
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:01,549
(CLEARS THROAT)
47
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:07,855
Cousin.
48
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,257
Where do you keep him?
49
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,796
What, what are
we talking about?
50
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,298
Oh! What was I thinking?
51
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:18,599
Well, what do you know?
52
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,834
We're talking about tickets!
53
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,304
Oh, I can get us tickets.
54
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,072
You can?
Oh, sure, sure.
55
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:28,509
I'm a reporter with a major
metropolitan newspaper.
56
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:34,715
All I have to do is
pick up the phone
57
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,550
Larry, are you sure
you're not doing this
58
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,552
because you're jealous
of Clint?
59
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,254
Clint who?
Clint...
60
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,456
The man who knows that
you have a troll.
61
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:45,693
Cousin,
where do you keep him?
62
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,929
Forget Clint.
63
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,799
What does he look like?
64
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,301
What do you feed him?
65
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:56,837
Troll chow.
66
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:08,048
Yeah, hello, uh,
this is Larry Appleton.
67
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:11,585
I'm a reporter with
the Chicago Chronicle.
68
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:15,823
Yeah, I'm considering
doing a profile piece
on Wayne Newton.
69
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:19,493
Uh, I think it would be
a big boost
for Wayne's career.
70
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:23,096
So, if you could leave, uh,
71
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,333
four tickets
at the front desk,
72
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:28,702
uh, well I could pick them up,
uh... Now.
73
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:31,672
Uh-huh.
74
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,308
Uh-huh.
75
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,277
Uh-uh.
76
00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:39,547
Well, I...
Yes, yes, but I--
77
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,317
No, no, no, no, see--
78
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:48,522
You don't understand.
79
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,358
I really need the tickets.
80
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:52,159
If I don't get these tickets
81
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:55,696
my wife is gonna leave me
for some tall guy named Clint!
82
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,632
Hello? Hello?
83
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:02,903
Cousin, cousin, come on!
84
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,738
We're waiting for you
down in the lobby.
85
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,807
We want to get to
the Liberace Museum early.
86
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:09,276
You know, uh, Balki...
87
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:13,381
Uh, I've been thinking about
this, uh, Wayne Newton thing.
88
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:16,083
And I think
you're expectations
89
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,318
of Wayne are, are too big.
90
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:23,457
skip the show
and go out to Hoover Dam?
91
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:24,925
I hear it's beautiful
at night.
92
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,262
You're hiding
something from me,
aren't you?
93
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,631
No, no, I'm not!
94
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,501
Your nostrils are flaring.
95
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:36,737
No, they're not.
96
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,507
You're eyes are twitching.
No, they're not.
97
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,542
(FEET TAPPING)
98
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,544
Your foot is tapping.
No, it's not.
99
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:47,648
No, I'm not.
100
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,452
Cousin, you couldn't get
the tickets, could you?
101
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,621
Well, it depends on
what you mean by "Couldn't."
102
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,158
(SOBBING)
103
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,794
Hurry up, Larry, they turn off
Liberace's cufflink fountain
104
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,030
a half hour before closing.
105
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,633
Balki, what's wrong?
106
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,371
You couldn't get
the tickets, could you?
107
00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:12,940
I better call Clint.
108
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:15,275
Yes, please, call Clint.
Oh, no, no, no.
109
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:18,979
Please, call Clint.
110
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,515
(CHUCKLING)
Come on, come on!
111
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:25,819
In fact,
they wanted to give me
more than I asked for.
112
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,656
Cousin, are you sure?
Well, of course, I'm sure.
113
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,824
Would I lie?
ALL: Yes.
114
00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:33,861
All right, yes, I would.
115
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,596
(SOBBING)
116
00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,731
But this time, I didn't.
117
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,100
Really? Really?
Yes! Yes!
118
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,335
All right, now, now,
what do you say
the three of you
119
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,237
just go down,
just grab a cab
120
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:47,808
and I'll just,
I'll get changed
and meet you out front?
121
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,610
Be careful walking through
the lobby, Larry.
122
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,612
The bellmen hate you.
123
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,283
Mary Anne,
124
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:59,920
come on, I want to show you
to my special lucky machine.
125
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,755
I win every time!
126
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,457
You don't even have to
put in coins.
127
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:07,060
You just put in
your credit card
and it pays you money.
128
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,128
(GASPS)
129
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,800
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
130
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,134
(CHUCKLES)
131
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,875
Yeah... Yes, hello, this is
Larry Appleton again.
132
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,178
Uh, did you change your mind,
uh, about those tickets?
133
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,881
Okay, all right, all right.
134
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,817
but you've...
You've left me no choice.
135
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:32,085
You see, the tickets
are for my cousin.
136
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:36,089
(STAMMERING) And, well,
he's going deaf.
137
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:39,126
And, uh, his only wish
138
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,829
was to hear Wayne Newton
sing in person
139
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,664
before he lost his hearing.
140
00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:50,671
(SOBBING)
And, I brought him
to Las Vegas to...
141
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:53,073
To fulfill a lifelong dream.
142
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,544
(SOBBING)
143
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,481
Now, is that
asking for so much?
144
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,021
Four will be great, thank you.
I'll be right down.
145
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,490
Hey, hey!
146
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,970
With his teeth, baby
147
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:28,175
Scarlet billows
start to spread
148
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:33,413
Fancy gloves, oh,
wears old MacHeath, babe
149
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:37,885
So there's never,
never a trace of red
150
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:41,789
Now on the sidewalk,
huh, huh
151
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,558
Down by the river,
don't you know?
152
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,694
Lies a body
153
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:50,297
Oozin' life, eek
154
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,333
Someone's sneakin'
155
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,235
Around the corner
156
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:59,573
Could that someone be,
oh, Mack the Knife?
157
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:08,281
It was more wonderful than
I dreamed it would be!
158
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,751
Cousin, I clapped so hard,
159
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:13,721
I think I dislocated
my palms.
160
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:16,323
Well, I gotta admit,
he put on a heck of a show.
161
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,025
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
162
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:22,529
Hi, uh, Mr. Appleton?
Yes, that's me.
163
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:23,831
How do you do?
I'm Dave Miner.
164
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,532
I'm an assistant
to Wayne Newton.
165
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,534
Oh! Oh!
Very nice to meet you.
166
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,302
Yes.
Uh, this is my cousin.
167
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,804
Balki Bartokomous.
168
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,774
(CHUCKLES)
169
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,711
You, you...
170
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:41,148
You know Wayne?
171
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:44,151
Is it, is it the kind of
thing where,
where he might even say
172
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:48,055
"Hey, Dave, let's you
and me go grab
a Grand Slam at Denny's?"
173
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,857
Well, I'm not exactly sure.
174
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:53,193
Have you, have you ever,
have you ever...
175
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,195
Hugged Wayne?
176
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:58,899
Well, yes, in a, you know,
a manly, buddy sort of way.
177
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:05,205
I just hugged
someone who has,
who has hugged Wayne?
178
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,941
I hugged someone
who has hugged Wayne!
179
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:11,845
Balki, uh, why don't
we let Dave tell us
what Wayne wants?
180
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:14,247
Now, Wayne--
You call him "Wayne?"
181
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:19,252
Yeah!
182
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:22,189
to a little reception
he's having in
his suite right now.
183
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:26,159
He's, uh, very anxious
to meet this special person.
184
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:29,897
Oh, well, that's, uh,
a really a very
wonderful offer and, uh,
185
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,666
we'd like you to thank
Mr. Newton for us.
186
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:35,135
Uh, but we can't make it.
187
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,443
What are you talking about?
188
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,078
We'll be there.
No, we won't.
189
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,580
What are you talking about?
We won't be there?
190
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,850
We're going!
Are you out of your mind?
191
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:51,118
(MUFFLED) Are you--
192
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,487
Would you excuse us
for just a moment?
193
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,056
Sure!
194
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,525
Listen to me, listen to me,
listen to me.
195
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,728
You are not thinking
this through.
196
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,562
What are you thinking of?
197
00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:03,964
What are you talking about?
198
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:06,033
What could possibly
possess you
199
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,802
to try to crush
the biggest dream of my life?
200
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:14,374
Balki, you know, you know.
201
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:17,978
Fine! You do that!
I'm gonna worship
from a-close!
202
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:20,513
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Let's go!
203
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:23,150
All right,
all right, all right.
All right, we'll go.
204
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,852
Great! Follow me.
205
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,553
Ah, oh, Cousin,
206
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:29,389
I am the happiest Mypiot
dead or alive!
207
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:30,457
Aw!
208
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,931
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
209
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,909
Cousin, Cousin, look!
210
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:52,079
This is the couch
where Wayne sits!
211
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,548
Cousin, look! Look!
212
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:59,319
This is the piano where Wayne
tinkles on the ivories.
213
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:05,025
Red roses! Red Roses!
214
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,827
You must be the Blue Lady.
215
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:26,079
(GRUNTING)
216
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:29,817
All right, that's it!
217
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,452
You are over-excited.
218
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,287
I saw him. He look at me!
219
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:36,689
But, I was just a little
overwhelmed but I'm fine now.
220
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:41,261
Oh, you are.
I'm fine now, I'm okay.
221
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:42,896
Ah, gentlemen, Wayne would
like to meet you now.
222
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:45,032
Oh, all right, yeah...
223
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:49,069
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
224
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,537
Wayne, these are
the gentlemen
I told you about.
225
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,039
This is Larry Appleton.
226
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,241
Nice to meet you, Larry.
Very nice to meet you.
227
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,243
And this is
Balki Bartokomous.
228
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:03,851
He skipped lunch.
229
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,288
(GRUNTING)
230
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:11,859
Thank you.
231
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:19,867
You're such an incredible
young man.
232
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,836
Wayne! Wayne! Wayne!
233
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,371
Wayne! Wayne! Wayne!
234
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:27,274
Wayne,
the photographer's ready.
235
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:31,144
Oh, oh-oh!
I'll be right back, Balki.
236
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:35,015
Honest! I'm coming,
I'm coming right back.
237
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,186
Daddy,
don't you walk so fast.
238
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,725
Cousin! Cousin! Cousin!
Isn't he wonderful?
239
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:47,360
Isn't he terrific?
240
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,897
Why is he yelling at me?
241
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,331
Uh, why, why is Wayne
yelling at you?
242
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:52,799
Why is Wayne yelling at you?
Yeah.
243
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,767
Well, well, well,
uh, you know.
244
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,836
Uh, probably, uh,
you know, singing
245
00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:59,506
in front of a large orchestra
246
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,742
all those years has, uh,
just made him a little
247
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,012
hard of, uh, hearing.
248
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,115
Yeah.
249
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:10,884
That's it.
250
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:13,420
Poor man.
251
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:17,057
Balki, I'm so sorry
that we were
interrupted here!
252
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,231
I, I have been
a fan of yours since
253
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,799
I was knee-high
to a yak pup.
254
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:31,304
And my mother
was practically
raised on your music!
255
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,707
To me there is
no other singer!
256
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:39,079
Thank you, Balki!
It's fans like you
that make it all worthwhile!
257
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:41,214
Oh, go on with you!
258
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,450
No, I'm serious.
Oh, go on with you!
259
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:46,053
Oh, I'm telling you the truth.
Oh, come--
260
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,491
Balki, I just want you
to know how honored I am
261
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,160
that you chose my show
262
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,362
to be the last show
that you hear
263
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,897
before you lose your hearing.
264
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,004
What?
265
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,507
(SPEAKING LOUDER)
I want you to know
how honored I am
266
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,276
that you chose my show
267
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,811
to be the last show
that you hear
268
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:14,314
before you lose your hearing!
269
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:19,119
What?
270
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:23,556
It's going fast.
271
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,626
I'm glad he caught
the early show.
272
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,932
You're a very brave young man.
273
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,302
He's blessed to have you.
Uh, yes, he is.
274
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,088
What have you done?
275
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,593
I told Wayne
you were going deaf.
276
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:07,600
Why didn't you
tell me sooner?
277
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,544
Balki...
278
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,281
I wanted to tell you sooner.
279
00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:23,950
(SOBBING)
280
00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:26,386
No, no, Balki.
281
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,188
Balki,
you're not going deaf.
282
00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:30,223
What?
You're not going deaf.
283
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,724
What?
I made it up.
284
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:36,763
so that I could get
tickets to the show.
285
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,732
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
286
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:45,172
You, you lied to Wayne?
287
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:50,443
Is nothing sacred to you?
288
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:53,012
Balki, you feel great
'cause you got to meet Wayne.
289
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,247
Wayne feels great
'cause he helped you.
290
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,982
There's no harm done.
291
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,285
No harm done?
292
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:02,255
Cousin, you, you took
the, the most
293
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:07,294
thrilling moment
of my life and you
tarnished it with a lie.
294
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,864
Could I please
have your attention?
295
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,766
Could I please
have your attention?
296
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:17,637
We have someone very
special here tonight.
297
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,580
That I would like you
all to meet.
298
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:30,583
It isn't very often
in my lifetime
299
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:34,254
that I've seen
this kind of courage.
300
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,156
Would you please give
a big round of applause--
301
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:38,291
Uh, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
302
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:41,094
I can't let you
go through with this.
303
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,533
is not what he appears to be.
304
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:50,837
And, and it's not his fault,
it's mine.
305
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:55,442
I made the whole
thing up so he could
get tickets to the show.
306
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:03,082
for someone who,
who means a lot to me.
307
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,252
And, I'm, I'm sorry.
308
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,190
You should be
ashamed of yourself
309
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:12,392
for impersonating a war hero.
310
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,095
Escort him out!
311
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:28,675
All right, not him!
Not him!
312
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:31,110
(STAMMERING) I lied about
313
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:32,745
Balki's hearing problem.
314
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:35,282
Oh, though I can't vouch
for the old guy.
315
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:38,485
Balki, I am,
I am so sorry.
316
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,753
Can you...
Can you ever forgive me?
317
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,756
Yes, Cousin,
I can forgive you but
I just don't wanna be seen
318
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,758
talking to you right now.
319
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,736
LARRY:
Balki, I am so sorry
about last night.
320
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,206
I mean, your whole life
you've dreamed
of meeting Wayne
321
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:00,840
and, and I ruined it.
322
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,675
No, you didn't ruin it.
Cousin, Come on.
323
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:06,913
It really, I met him.
It was wonderful, wonderful.
324
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,148
Hi, guys!
325
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,319
(CHUCKLES)
326
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:19,592
I'll get him.
327
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:21,761
He skipped breakfast.
328
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,632
(GRUNTING)
329
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:33,306
Wayne, Wayne,
Wayne Newton is,
is standing in the room with me.
330
00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:35,975
I guess you
331
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,311
came up here to throw us out.
332
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:41,348
Well, of course not.
Don't be ridiculous.
333
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:48,555
Actually, I was thinking,
and it finally dawned on me
334
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:51,858
that you're the Balki that's
been writing me every week
335
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:54,227
for the last 15 years,
aren't you?
336
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,729
Yes!
How's Mama?
337
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,798
Oh, she's great!
She's great!
338
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,533
Do you remember,
I wrote to you and I told you
339
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,235
that she was going
back to school?
340
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,737
Yes!
Well, she aced her midterms.
341
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:07,240
And she made
the cheerleading squad.
342
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:11,278
Get out of the city!
Yes, it's true!
343
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,513
(LAUGHING)
344
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,815
And you're
Cousin Larry, huh?
345
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,017
Well, I must admit that
you've lived up to everything
346
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:19,952
that Balki's
written about you.
347
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,724
Well, thank you, Wayne.
348
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,726
May I call you "Wayne?"
No.
349
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:33,500
I understand.
350
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:34,667
He does get tensed,
doesn't he?
351
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,636
Oh, yeah, he's quite,
quite tense.
352
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,472
Actually the reason
I came here
353
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,140
was to invite you guys
back to the show
354
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:42,709
as my guests tonight.
355
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:45,011
'Cause I wanna do a very
special song for you, Balki.
356
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:50,617
You want to do
a song for me?
357
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:51,784
Yes.
358
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,922
What song is it?
359
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:58,090
Oh, please tell me.
It's a surprise.
360
00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:00,693
Is it C.C. Rider?
You'll hear tonight.
361
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,563
Hungry Years?
It's a surprise!
362
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,532
Moon River?
Andy Williams.
363
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,300
Oh, God!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
364
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,035
(MUMBLING)
365
00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:11,804
Will you please tell me
what it is?
366
00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:13,940
Please, I can't wait!
I can't stand it!
367
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,275
I'm gonna explode
if you don't
tell me what it is!
368
00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:17,710
Okay, Danke Schoen.
369
00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:23,750
(GASPING)
370
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:26,419
Ow! Ow, ow, ow!
371
00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:28,020
The ring. The ring. The ring.
372
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:35,962
You know, I just had
the most beautiful dream
373
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:38,431
that, that you say
that you were going to
374
00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:40,299
to sing Danke Schoen for me.
375
00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:41,568
I am.
376
00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:44,203
Oh!
377
00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:46,005
Oh, oh!
378
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:49,409
Oh! Oh!
379
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:52,845
Listen, Wayne, I'm sorry
about all the...
380
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:53,880
Lying.
381
00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:55,247
Ah, don't worry
about it, Larry.
382
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,315
I was thinking about it
383
00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:57,850
and I was really
kind of touched
384
00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,419
that you went to
all that trouble
385
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:01,220
to get tickets to the show.
386
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:02,622
See you later, huh?
387
00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:04,391
Oh, oh!
388
00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:05,992
Oh-oh-oh!
389
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:07,860
Oh-oh!
390
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:09,762
Oh!
391
00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:10,997
Wayne, Wayne!
392
00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:21,841
(MUSIC PLAYING)
393
00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:23,342
Ready? Okay.
394
00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:26,145
Danke Schoen
395
00:22:26,212 --> 00:22:28,280
Darling Danke Schoen
396
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,882
Danke Schoen
397
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:33,953
Thank you for
all the joy and pain
398
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:39,959
Joy and pain
399
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:43,596
How you tore you dress
What a mess
400
00:22:43,663 --> 00:22:45,665
My heart says Danke Schoen
401
00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:48,868
Danke Schoen
Danke Schoen
402
00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:51,671
Auf Wiedersehen
Auf Wiedersehen
403
00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:54,006
Worth the sayin'
404
00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:58,678
(LAUGHING)
28197
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