Original subtitles

[thunder rumbling]

[electricity arcing]

[groaning]

[frustrated grunting]

[Collector] Welcome to Tivan Tower-- Huh?

...my new permanent exhibit space

for the greatest collection the galaxy has ever known.

A collection that now includes the Guardians of the Galaxy.

[Rocket] Drax.

Groot. [snoring]

Quill.

Gamora. What's going on here?

Each of you will be preserved in a specially designed habitat.

[gasps]

And stocked with everything I need to bust outta here!

[grunts] Specially designed to achieve

maximum humiliation and punishment. [muffled shouting]

[grunting] Aw, come on! Let me at it!

For all the one-of-a-kind artifacts from my collection

that you have stolen or destroyed,

and all the personal indignities you have visited upon me.

[growls]

Enjoy your cage, rodent.

[sighs]

[gulping] Seriously?

[muffled gag]

[grunts] Not even the good kind!

What am I supposed to eat around here?

Feel free to root through this.

[groans]

[slurps]

Aahh!

I'd like to root through your frizzy white skull!

Aha!

Anything's possible, long as you got a role of duct tape.

[exclaims] End of the roll?

It's okay. I can work with this.

[trilling]

[alarm beeping] Huh?

Security drones to the rodent's habitat!

I can definitely work with this.

Back off, spark plugs!

Face the Wheel of Doom!

[laughing]

[grunts]

Yes!

Time to bust out those other losers.

Ain't a prison or habitat built can keep me.

[grunting]

[bell dings]

Floor, please?

Huh?

Weapons vault. And make it snappy.

I got some collecting of my own to do.

[bell dings]

[groans]

[Collector] Welcome to Tivan Tower,

my new permanent exhibit space

for the greatest collection the galaxy has ever known.

A collection that now includes the Guardians of the Galaxy.

[groaning]

[Gamora] What is this place?

It looks... nice.

Too nice.

Anything this nice has to be a trap.

Each of you will be preserved in a specially designed habitat.

Specially designed to achieve

maximum humiliation and punishment

for all the one-of-a-kind artifacts from my collection

that you have stolen or destroyed,

and all the personal indignities you have visited upon me.

[grunts]

You're not fooling me with all this useless luxury and comfort.

What are you hiding?

[yells] [whirring]

Greetings, Miss Gamora. How may I be of service?

Cool beverage? [grunts]

[electricity arcing]

Greetings, Miss Gamora. How may I be of service?

Perhaps a massage?

[grunts] [electricity arcing]

Greetings, Miss Gamora. How may I be of service?

Care for a manicure? Kree mineral bath? Xandarian dressing gown?

I can make it fire hot, ice cold, rock solid,

airy soft, or anything in between. [screams]

[grunting]

[electricity arcing] [grunts]

[huffs]

[all, echoing] Greetings, Miss Gamora.

[echoing] Greetings, Miss Gamora. How may we be of service?

I'm sure I'll think of something.

[grunting]

[echoing] Greetings, Miss Gamora.

[continues echoing] Greetings, Miss Gamora. How may we be of service?

[grunts] This is literally why we can't have nice things.

Coming?

One sec.

[grunting] [sword blows landing]

[thunderclap]

[grunting continues] [sword blows continue landing]

[distorted whirring, whirring stops]

[panting]

Man! The Collector must've put you through the ringer.

Actually, I feel pretty relaxed.

[thunderclap]

[alarm beeping]

Security drones, apprehend the escapees at once!

I have important business to attend to,

and I am not to be disturbed under any circumstances.

I am Groot?

You are simply too unique a specimen

not to study immediately.

I see you are in the early stages

of one of your regeneration cycles.

No doubt you will be more docile.

Now, open wide and say, "Ahh."

I am Groot.

No, no, no, no, no. "Ahh."

I am Groot! "Aahh"!

[crying out]

[chomping] [groaning]

[gulps, belches]

[groans] That was collectible.

Perhaps we should test your reflexes instead.

[soft thud]

[frustrated grunting]

Sap!

[soft thud] [disgusted groan]

[soft thud] [exclaims]

Huh? [frustrated grunt]

[coos]

Hmph!

[grunts]

[spits]

[frustrated grunt]

Let's try listening to your pulse.

[blows]

[yelling] I am Groot!

[frustrated grunt] [laughing]

[grunts, sighs]

Huh?

I am Groot.

Very well. I accept your apology.

[grunts, sneezes]

[security drone] Security to Collector. Sorry to report

we were unsuccessful in apprehending the escapees.

I told you... [stifled sneeze]

I am not to be dis-- [stifled sneeze]

I'm not to be disturbed under any-- [stifled sneeze]

circums-- circumstances!

Security to Collector.

[distorted] Sorry to report we were unsuccessful--

Should've listened to the toaster.

[grunts] [groans]

Easy, bud. I'll have you outta here in a--

Eh? Well, why didn't you do that in the first place?

I am Groot.

[chuckles] Can't argue with logic like that.

[security drone] Warning! Security breach!

All collectibles return to your habitats at once!

♪♪ ['70s rock instrumental] [sighs]

Why would I ever wanna leave?

♪♪ [continues]

This place is perfect!

[sighs] Whoo.

[record scratches, music stops]

Except for one little thing.

[picture squeaks]

Sweet.

[chuckles]

There we go.

Right back in the cent-- Uh--

Come on. Stay right there.

[picture squeaks]

Okay.

Perfect-- St-- Hey!

Center! [grunts]

Center! Ahh.

[grumbling]

Center! [grunts]

All right!

[glass shatters]

Now to complete the scene,

some super-awesome tunes.

♪♪ ['70s rock instrumental]

♪♪ [distorted]

♪♪ [stops]

Must be defective.

[yelling]

[grunts] Okay.

Perfect except for two little things. It's all right.

Nothing that can't be worked out with a little target practice... [bones cracking]

on the official Star-Lord Super-Awesome Element Blaster Range!

Heh. Yeah, there's always one bad coin slot.

[blows]

[clinks on ground]

This will require steady nerves

and two quarters.

[beeping] ♪♪ [fanfare]

Aha!

♪♪

[beeping]

Awww!

[beeping] [sighs] Fine.

Perfect except for three little things.

[male voice] Ready Player One. Shoot!

Aha!

[beeping] [gunfire]

Ugh! [beeping continues]

[groans] Ugh!

[beeping continues]

[frustrated grunt] [pop]

[beeping continues, gunfire]

"From the official Star-Lord Fan Club Collection"?

Oh, this can only mean one thing.

I have fans! Aah!

[coughing]

And apparently a lot of fan mail to answer.

[trilling] All right. You win.

It was a good idea to bring along the Collector.

Quill, let's go. This place is nothing

but cruel psychological torture.

I know.

But I'm finally getting the recognition I deserve.

Uh... [gasps]

[door opens]

Okay, fine. Let's go.

I am Groot.

I know, bud. I can never unsee that either.

[security drone] Warning! Security breach! [thunderclap]

All collectibles return to your habitats at once!

[trilling]

[moaning]

Okay, people. We need to free Drax, get to the Milano,

then make like a tree and leave.

I am Groot! What? It's an express--

You know what? You're worse than Drax.

[Rocket] Speaking of the green cue ball,

his cell's a few floors up from here,

on the Maximum Security level. [beeping]

I am Groot?

How should I know which button opens Drax's cell?

I am Groot? [beeps]

But I know it ain't that one!

[alarm blaring]

[sighs] Must be a dud.

I am Groot?

Eh, how much damage could one blown generator cause?

[electricity arcing] [whirring]

[descending whirring]

[growling]

[screeching] [roaring]

[creatures growling]

[roars]

Hold, furry creature, and prepare to battle Drax the Destroy--

[grunts]

[roaring] [yells]

[snarling] [grunts]

[growling]

[grunting] [thud]

[beeps] We need to get Drax out of there.

Floor, please?

Maximum Security level, and make it snappy.

Only authorized personnel are allowed up there.

[imitating Collector] I, uh, personally

authorize these personnel, for I am the Collector.

Really?

You're authorizing them to access the Maximum Security level?

[Drax grunting] [creatures growling, screeching]

[grunts] Drax the Destroyer... [grunts]

does not fear... [grunts] squishiness!

[straining]

[grunting]

Sorry. I can't authorize you access to Maximum Security level.

Well, then, fine. We'll authorize ourselves.

Go on. Knock yourselves out.

[buzzes]

Heh. Must be a retinal scanner.

[beeps]

[grunts] That's disgusting!

Did I mention the controls for the upper floors are voice activated?

[roaring]

Please stop that. It is very annoying.

[sneezes]

[grunts, groans]

Huh? I'm awake! [stifled sneezing]

Fools! You cannot escape the Collector!

Take them to Maximum Security level, now!

[creature growling]

Drax the Destroyer will not go down without a fight!

[growling]

[growling] [screeching]

Several fights, if necessary.

Ah! [grunts]

[growling]

Ugh!

Uhh...

[muffled gagging]

What, do I have something stuck in my teeth?

Okay. We managed to escape the Collector's habitats.

Now we just have to get to the roof and retrieve our ship.

Hold it, kid. I'm the one who pushes the buttons around here.

I am Groot!

[bell dings]

[all yell]

[bell dings]

[all grunt]

Not bad for a nonagenarian.

This is why you need an elevator operator.

To push the right button. [gasps]

[bell dinging] I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot...

[all grunting] I am Groot, I am Groot!

[grunting continues]

[thunderclap]

[Guardians yell] I am Groot?

[Rocket] Yes, technically, you pushed the right button,

along with a hundred wrong ones!

[Guardians grunt, groan]

[bell dings] ♪♪ ['70s rock]

♪♪ [continues]

[bell dings]

[train horn blaring]

♪♪ [continues] [horn blaring]

[bell dings]

[rumbling]

[bell dings]

You know what, I'm gonna get the next one.

[bell dings]

[growling]

[all screaming]

[bell dings] ♪♪ [continues]

[laughter, chatter]

[bell dings]

[thudding]

[bell dings]

♪♪ [continues] [bell dings]

[man grunting, yelling]

[thunderclap]

[bell dings]

[distorted screaming]

[wind howling]

So that's where all those missing socks end up.

Rooftop. Please watch your step.

[yells, grunts]

Yes! Home free!

[screeching, growling]

I told you, no one escapes the Collector.

Drax the Destroyer will tame this beast!

Whoa! [grunts] [growling]

It is a rhinopus, a very popular house pet among my people.

[purrs] Who is a good rhinopus?

You are. Yes. You are. [purrs]

[roars] [whistles]

No, no, no, no, no!

They are also very easy to train.

I am Groot?

No, we can't go on "that awesome elevator ride again."

Yeesh!

I am Groot.

[Rocket] I am, too, fun!