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1
00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:05,444
Major Major, congratulations,
you're a major.
2
00:00:05,483 --> 00:00:06,663
What do you say
we speed this thing up?
3
00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:08,662
He's raising
the goddamn missions again!
4
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:11,494
I have no power.You have the power
to stand men down.
5
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,403
NATELY: She's, like,
the most real person
6
00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:14,878
that I've ever met, Yo-Yo.
7
00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:16,667
What's your name?Ines.
8
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,152
Me, I'm Yo-Yo.
9
00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:19,672
How much for this? MILO: Lamb chops.
10
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,055
They're going for a song
in Scotland.
11
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,758
I can't send a plane
to Scotland.
12
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,805
I can, if you lend me a plane.
13
00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:26,680
Italy will survive
14
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:29,592
long after your own country
has been destroyed.
15
00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:31,638
America is not
going to be destroyed.
16
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:33,473
You hear Cathcart's
raised the missions again?
17
00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:35,041
CLEVINGER: Our boys
on the ground,
18
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,688
are they supposed to get
their asses shot off
19
00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:38,392
just because
you don't want to fly?
20
00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:41,079
So you're helping the boys
on the ground after all.
21
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,258
Bombs away.
22
00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,043
[old-timey jazz music]
23
00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:45,697
Did you hear something, McWatt?
24
00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:47,001
Hey, Clevinger,
you there, buddy?
25
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,607
Has "Laden Maiden" come back?I don't know, sir.
26
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:51,958
CHAPLAIN: Still no news
on Clevinger?
27
00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:53,358
He's on
the Missing in Action list.
28
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:54,791
It's official.
29
00:00:54,837 --> 00:00:57,097
CATHCART: Bologna, gentlemen.
30
00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,624
This is where
the rubber hits the road.
31
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,967
Some of you will not
be coming back.
32
00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:03,847
So, know this:
the 27th Air Corps Division
33
00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,939
thanks you for your sacrifice.
34
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:33,476
For many of you,
this Bologna mission
35
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,748
will be your last.
36
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:38,321
There's no other way
of telling you that.
37
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:41,709
Just basic statistics
tell us that.
38
00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:44,023
So...
39
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,540
if any of you
should find yourself
40
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,983
on the wrong side
of the statistics,
41
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,760
and at the risk of stating
the obvious,
42
00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:52,805
I would like to point out
that your sacrifice
43
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:55,461
will not have been in vain.
44
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:03,993
[upbeat music]
45
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:11,086
♪
46
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,193
SOLDIER: Lorenzo, Leonardo!
47
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,933
[men speaking Italian]
48
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,453
SOLDIER: Good, good.
49
00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:32,497
♪
50
00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:34,893
Yossarian!
Lovely to see you.
51
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,237
Hi, Milo.
How's tricks?
52
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:37,936
Good. Try that soup.
53
00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:39,163
Gianni.GIANNI: Huh?
54
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,862
Give Yossarian
a spoonful of that zuppa.
55
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,339
GIANNI: [speaks Italian]
56
00:02:45,121 --> 00:02:47,081
Wait till you try this.
57
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,869
My God, Milo.
58
00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:57,614
Tell me that's not the best
tomato soup you've ever had.
59
00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,565
That's the best tomato soup
I ever had.
60
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:01,834
Jesus, those Italians
can cook,
61
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:03,487
even the little ones.
62
00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:05,401
I gotta go to Wales today.
63
00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:07,356
We got something really special
coming from there.
64
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:09,014
You won't believe it.
65
00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:13,502
Hey, listen.
66
00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:14,891
I have to--
67
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:16,333
I have to ask you something.
68
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:19,200
Anything.
What is it?
69
00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:23,122
What would you say
if I asked you
70
00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:25,339
to put this...
71
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:27,209
into that soup?
72
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:32,174
Yossarian,
those are laundry flakes.
73
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,172
I don't want
to fly Bologna, Milo.
74
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,874
A whole lot of us
are gonna die.
75
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:38,481
Yo-Yo, you tasted this.
It's a masterpiece.
76
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,662
It is, and these are
completely tasteless, man.
77
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,958
I promise you.How do you know that?
78
00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:45,565
Trust me, I--
just trust me.
79
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,187
This enterprise is built
on my good name,
80
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,489
and it's my job
to uphold that name.
81
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,844
Bologna's bad.
It's gonna be really bad.
82
00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:54,364
And if we're sick
for a couple days,
83
00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:57,058
the 10th Infantry will do
the job for us on the ground.
84
00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:59,406
I'm the mess officer, Yo-Yo.
It's a sacred office.
85
00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:01,276
My sacred duty
is to keep you fed
86
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:05,158
and well-nourished,
not to make you grievously ill.
87
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:08,161
Your sacred duty
is to keep us alive.
88
00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:11,344
I'd rather be ill than dead.
89
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:18,821
Hey, uh, fellas.BOTH: Hey, Yo-Yo.
90
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,217
Dinner tonight
is very important.
91
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,440
Don't eat the soup.Huh?
92
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:22,608
The hell are you talking about?
93
00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:24,833
Just don't eat the soup, okay?
94
00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:26,963
KID: Okay.NATELY: No soup.
95
00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:29,435
♪
96
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:32,446
[indistinct chatter]
97
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:39,499
♪
98
00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:48,033
[music stops,
chatter continues]
99
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,293
Here's to Clevinger, guys.
100
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:53,945
ALL: To Clevinger.
101
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:55,249
Clevinger.
102
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,205
NATELY: Poor kid.
103
00:04:58,254 --> 00:05:01,084
Maybe he just kept flying,
flew off to Switzerland.
104
00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:03,386
No, Clevinger wouldn't do that,
not without telling us.
105
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:05,223
Well, maybe we'll get
a postcard.
106
00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:08,091
[laughs]
107
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,403
You want to come
to Switzerland with me, Yo-Yo?
108
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:11,490
Visit Clevinger?
109
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,138
I don't want to joke
about Clevinger.
110
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:14,442
Okay.
111
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:20,017
But want to come
to Switzerland with me?
112
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:22,188
Believe me,
I thought about this.
113
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:23,934
AWOL isn't the answer,
114
00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:25,325
not unless you want to spend
115
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:27,148
the rest of your life
as a fugitive.
116
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,016
But it's all academic anyway
117
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:31,197
'cause you never have enough
gas to get anywhere useful.
118
00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:32,943
Well, but let's say
you did have enough gas.
119
00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:34,384
Where would you go?
120
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:36,071
Well, it wouldn't be
Switzerland.
121
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:37,948
The Swiss are legally obliged
to lock you up.
122
00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:40,039
They're practically Germans.
123
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:43,428
If you had enough gas,
which you don't,
124
00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:46,173
your best bet would be to fly
straight over Switzerland,
125
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:47,825
head to Sweden.
126
00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:50,089
AARFY: That's what
your research told you?
127
00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:51,612
Sweden's better
than Switzerland.
128
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:52,735
KID: Oh, why's that?
129
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:54,137
YOSSARIAN: Well, in Sweden,
130
00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:55,489
you can swim nude
with beautiful girls
131
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:56,919
with voices like honey.
132
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:59,315
And, uh, you can sire
whole happy tribes
133
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,579
of illegitimate Yossarians
134
00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:02,231
with any number
of Swedish women
135
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:04,154
who you don't have to marry,
136
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:05,969
and you can all live
in the same house,
137
00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:07,797
and we all get along,
138
00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:11,755
and the state supplies free
child birth, free education,
139
00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:13,236
and launches
all the little Yossarians
140
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,545
into a life without stigma.
141
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:16,771
Everybody's happy,
and all my wives love me.
142
00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,381
Do they really swim nude?
143
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:21,081
Totally nude, Kid Sampson.
144
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:23,639
Totally nude.
145
00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:25,167
Sweet dreams tonight.
146
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,260
Oh, boy.
147
00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:28,779
Yossarian?Hi.
148
00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:30,003
Hi.What do we know?
149
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,701
About what?
150
00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:33,869
About the big book
you were gonna read?
151
00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:34,955
What big book?
152
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:37,793
The big book
on how I get to go home.
153
00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,752
Oh, that one.Yeah, that one.
154
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:42,310
Not much, and--
and I can't talk right now.
155
00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:45,268
Why not?
156
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:47,757
What are you doing?
157
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:49,408
What are you doing
with your head?
158
00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:51,932
I can't talk
in front of Cathcart.
159
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:54,976
He's not listening.
160
00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:56,853
I'm making progress,
but I can't talk right now.
161
00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,814
What progress?
162
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:01,383
[sighs, whispering]
I can't talk about it now.
163
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,341
Christ.
164
00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:05,729
What progress?
165
00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:15,613
[jazz music]
166
00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:19,612
[men groaning]
167
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:26,656
♪
168
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,630
SOLDIER: Holy Christ!
169
00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:34,409
[man farts]
170
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,724
[chuckling]
171
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:40,020
♪
172
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:41,328
How you boys bearing up?
173
00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:43,033
Oh, not so great, Doc.
174
00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:44,161
Hey, uh, there's no way in hell
175
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:45,512
that Bologna's happening
tomorrow, right?
176
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:48,512
Oh, Bologna's off.
177
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:54,595
♪
178
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:58,738
"Don't eat the soup"!
[laughing]
179
00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:00,002
MCWATT: You know
they'll just be sending us
180
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,444
straight back up there
tomorrow.
181
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,611
You'll thank me
one day, McWatt.
182
00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:05,787
How long you think
the squirts last?
183
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,443
Huh?
Couple days at most?
184
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,657
We'll be right back up there
day after tomorrow, latest.
185
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:11,967
No, we won't.
186
00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:14,063
10th Infantry is headed
to Bologna right now.
187
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,802
They'll clean out
those artillery guns for us.
188
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:19,373
Oh, man, you really
don't know how this works.
189
00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:21,541
I saw the charts.
10th is less than two days out.
190
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:24,238
You really don't know
how this works.
191
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:25,716
YOSSARIAN: I don't know
how what works?
192
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:26,936
MCWATT: Everything, Yossarian.
193
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,424
That's the point.What point?
194
00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:30,514
What's your point?Exactly.
195
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,820
It's all a numbers game,
196
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:36,912
and when your number's up,
your number's up.
197
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:39,301
Screw your numbers, McWatt.
198
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,308
MILO: Hey, Yossarian! Hey!
199
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,790
Jump in.
200
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,183
What the hell is this?
201
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,786
I picked it up in Wales.
202
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,136
I found a warehouse full.
203
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:57,005
65 on land, 35 on water.
204
00:08:57,058 --> 00:09:00,188
When the war is done,
I ship 'em to Minnesota.
205
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:02,755
Hey, I got a bone
to pick with you.
206
00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:05,243
They're still gonna send you
to Bologna.
207
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:06,853
So what was the point
of yesterday?
208
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,854
As soon as the men
can hold their guts in,
209
00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:10,456
you're gonna go back
to Bologna.
210
00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:12,456
Yeah, but this time,
we got ground support.
211
00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:13,768
I got bad news for you,
my friend.
212
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,344
Your ground support
has been rerouted
213
00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:17,030
from the Bologna road
to the Argenti road,
214
00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:20,518
due to a mass illness
on the Pianosa Air Base,
215
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,560
but it's gonna be
all right, pal.
216
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,215
[brakes squealing]
217
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:32,830
[indistinct chatter]
218
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:35,880
I need to see the Major.
219
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:37,103
You can't see him
right now, sir.
220
00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:38,101
Well, when can I see him?
221
00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:39,102
When he goes out to lunch.
222
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:40,103
Then you can go right in.
223
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:41,284
I'm sorry, say that again?
224
00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:42,539
TOWSER: Major Major never sees
225
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,192
anyone in his office
while he's in his office.
226
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:46,796
So when are you saying
I can see him?
227
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:49,327
Pretty much never, sir.
228
00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:50,631
Hey, Major!
229
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,677
I'm gonna have to ask you
to leave, sir!
230
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:55,162
Major! Come--Sir!
231
00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,919
Yossarian.YOSSARIAN: Hi.
232
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:13,919
Your man has lost his mind.
233
00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:15,881
Oh, him?
He's--he's just--
234
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:18,359
YOSSARIAN: Oh, God. Jesus.
235
00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:22,801
[exhales sharply]
236
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:25,149
So what's this progress
you say you've made?
237
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:27,979
What progress? The progress.
238
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:30,108
You were going through
the operations manual,
239
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,241
and you told me the other night
that you made progress.
240
00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:34,333
I haven't made any progress.
241
00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:36,682
Did you read it?It's very difficult to read.
242
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:42,119
We can't fly Bologna.
243
00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:45,083
36 planes from other squadrons
have already gone down
244
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:46,562
in the last ten days.
245
00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,692
It's a B-25 boneyard
down there.
246
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,735
Well, you wouldn't be normal
if you weren't afraid.
247
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:53,350
Even the bravest men
experience fear.
248
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:56,831
Let me ask you something.
Why did you join up?
249
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,753
Because it was
the right thing--to do good.
250
00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:02,008
Exactly, and you can do good
from right here.
251
00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:04,272
You can save lives
from right here.
252
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:05,445
I-I don't understand
253
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,010
exactly what it is
that you think I can do.
254
00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:10,017
You're a Major.
You're Major Major Major Major.
255
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,980
You can just sign things.Sign what?
256
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,370
The form.What form?
257
00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:15,942
The form to stand us down.
258
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:17,329
To stand you down, why?
259
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:18,852
To stand us down, you know,
260
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:22,635
for unreasonable risk
to life and limb.
261
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,292
I don't have the power
to stand down a squadron
262
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:25,595
or even a crew.
263
00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,471
Then just me.
Stand me down.
264
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:29,912
Oh, s-suppose everybody
felt that way.
265
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:32,600
Then I'd certainly be a damn
fool to feel any other way,
266
00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:34,428
wouldn't I?
267
00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:37,166
So you want me
to stand you down
268
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:38,958
while your friends fly Bologna?
269
00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:40,182
Why not?
270
00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,181
It wouldn't be any more
or less arbitrary
271
00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:45,923
than any other decision
that gets made on my behalf.
272
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,786
I'm not afraid of the Germans.
273
00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:50,057
I am afraid
of Cathcart deciding
274
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,230
that I need to fly
more missions.
275
00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:54,186
I'm afraid of the person
who decides
276
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:56,365
where the bomb line
goes on the map.
277
00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:58,331
Who is that person?
278
00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,499
And that's what it's
come down to for us.
279
00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:03,065
We're afraid of a line
on a map.
280
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:05,683
Do you know
what that feels like?
281
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:09,025
To be afraid
of a piece of string?
282
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,856
[instrumental music]
283
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:18,905
♪
284
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:24,185
ORDERLY: Sorry
to disturb you, sir.
285
00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:25,368
We've captured Bologna, sir.
286
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:28,023
What--
Who's captured Bologna?
287
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:29,458
I don't know, sir.
288
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:30,984
I was in
the briefing room, sir.
289
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:34,417
The bomb line is now
60 miles north of Bologna.
290
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:40,338
Thank you, Private.
291
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:43,304
[upbeat jazz music]
292
00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:50,224
♪
293
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:51,404
Sir.[shudders]
294
00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:53,179
Sir, it's me, sir--Korn.
295
00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:55,753
What is it, Korn?I'm sorry to wake you.
296
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,231
But I thought
you'd like to know.
297
00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:59,881
We captured Bologna.[breathing heavily]
298
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,876
When?Overnight, sir.
299
00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:06,408
The bomb line is now
60 miles north of the city.
300
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:09,024
That's goddamn terrific.I thought so too.
301
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:11,715
Yeah, so should I go ahead
and cancel the mission?
302
00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:13,203
Of course you should
cancel the mission.
303
00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:14,593
We're not gonna bomb
our own men, are we?
304
00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:15,546
Of course--
of course not, sir.
305
00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:16,683
Of course not.
306
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:19,075
Yo-Yo!
307
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,469
Yo-Yo, wake up now!
308
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:22,561
Hey, you want to hear
some news?
309
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,910
The 10th Infantry took Bologna.What?
310
00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:28,082
They fucking took it overnight.
311
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:31,648
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
312
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:34,396
NATELY: I get to see my girl!
I'm going to Rome!
313
00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:35,878
♪
314
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:38,918
[indistinct chatter]
315
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:45,191
MILO: [speaking Italian]
316
00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:47,282
Which one of you
is Milo Minderbinder?
317
00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:49,761
Oh, hello, Major.
That'd be me.
318
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,981
Oh, Mr. Lamb Chops.
319
00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:53,811
That's right, sir.
320
00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:57,419
Well, now, why is it, son,
that they tell me that all
321
00:14:57,461 --> 00:15:00,251
non-combat planes have to be
requisitioned through you?
322
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:01,730
Chain of command, sir.
323
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,730
Emanuele, rapido, rapido.
324
00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:06,472
I need a plane to Bologna.Bologna?
325
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:09,174
We have taken Bologna.
I need to go to Bologna.
326
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:10,782
MILO: We've taken Bologna?
327
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:14,262
Yes, son.
We have taken Bologna.
328
00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:17,484
♪ Shoo, shoo, shoo, baby
329
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,655
♪ Shoo, shoo, shoo, baby
330
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:21,401
♪
331
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:24,882
♪ Bye, bye, bye, baby,
do-dah, do-day ♪
332
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:28,104
♪ Your papa's off
to the seven seas ♪
333
00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:30,284
♪ Don't cry, baby
334
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,710
♪
335
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:35,016
♪ Don't sigh, baby
336
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:38,814
♪ Bye, bye, bye, baby,
do-dah, do-day ♪
337
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:42,120
♪ When I come back,
we'll live a life of ease ♪
338
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:51,392
YOSSARIAN: I don't understand.
339
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:52,728
Why don't you just pay
for all three
340
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:54,337
and send the other two away?
341
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:55,998
Because then Clara
will be angry with me
342
00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:57,612
for making her work
343
00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:59,392
and paying the others
to have the night off.
344
00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:01,396
She says
that if I really liked her,
345
00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:02,868
then I'd give her
the night off
346
00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:04,138
and go to bed
with one of the others.
347
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,750
And they're $30 each?
348
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:08,790
Yeah, it's, uh, $30.
349
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:11,057
$30 is a lot of money
for pieces like these.
350
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,840
Besides, I've never paid
for it in my life.
351
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:13,934
No, you don't understand--
352
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,283
you don't have to pay
for a thing.
353
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,112
I'll pay for all three--
you guys just need to take
354
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:18,980
the other two so she doesn't
get her nose out of joint.
355
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,761
I just don't understand
why you--why you have to pay
356
00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:21,715
for her friends
in the first place.
357
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,073
To make her happy!
358
00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:24,552
You know,
I remember this one time
359
00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:26,382
we tricked these two
dumb high-school girls
360
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:27,730
into the fraternity.
361
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,079
Made them put out
for all the fellas
362
00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:30,858
by threatening
to call their folks
363
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:32,562
and tell them they were
putting out for the fellas.
364
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,210
And what is it, "putting out"?
365
00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:37,425
AARFY: Screw, fuck, you know.
366
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:40,394
Ah, so you--
you tricked the girls,
367
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:42,094
and you fuck them?
368
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:44,571
Yeah, sure.
It was a bit of fun.
369
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:47,572
And the girls?
They were having fun?
370
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,045
AARFY: Yes, of course.
371
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,965
So you made them have fun, yes?
372
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,401
Yes?
373
00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:55,487
You get a load of this shit?
374
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:58,316
I'm getting lectured by a guy
who sells women for a living.
375
00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:01,795
I'm aware of my profession.
376
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:03,976
[soft music]
377
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,033
CLARA: Nate-er-ly?
378
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,548
Is problem?
379
00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:10,861
I-I'm coming.
I'm coming.
380
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:13,949
Yo-Yo, come on,
will you take the other two?
381
00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:15,769
Help me out here, man.
382
00:17:15,817 --> 00:17:22,867
♪
383
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,250
[music stops]
384
00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:02,295
[bell tolling]
385
00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:12,871
My good man.
386
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:14,567
Would you be kind enough
to provide me
387
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,305
with the name of the legal
owner of this building?
388
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:18,226
I wish to requisition it
for the fighting men
389
00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:20,451
of the United States
of America.
390
00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:22,230
Scusi?
391
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,113
[speaking broken Italian]
392
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:31,108
The...
393
00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:52,565
SOLDIER: [speaking German]
394
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:08,708
[laughter, indistinct chatter]
395
00:19:08,756 --> 00:19:11,496
YOSSARIAN: Yeah, I am.
I try to be.
396
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:12,671
[laughter]
397
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:16,294
Hey.
398
00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:30,171
CLARA: Sister.
399
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:31,872
She's your sister?
400
00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:33,609
Sister, sister.
401
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:44,663
Insects.
402
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:47,005
Ah, insetti.Insects.
403
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,535
Gelato--
I know this word.
404
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:57,544
Gelato.You want one?
405
00:19:57,587 --> 00:19:59,237
Okay, she's up for it.
406
00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:01,365
What's that called?
407
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,073
Ice cream.
408
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:08,417
Rolls off the tongue better
than "ice cream," doesn't it?
409
00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:13,691
Finestra,that's window, yeah?
410
00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:15,524
Finestra.
411
00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:16,612
With an R, right?
412
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:20,394
Can you say "window"?
Try that?
413
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:21,956
Window.Window, yeah.
414
00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:23,663
Exactly.[car doors close]
415
00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:26,962
Yeah.Yeah.
416
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:28,968
Wha--
417
00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:39,894
Fuck.
418
00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:42,854
She'll be back, buddy.
419
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:46,293
God damn it.
420
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:50,252
[engine roaring]
421
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:52,212
Major de Coverley
has gone missing,
422
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,471
and one of you fuckers
is going to prison for it.
423
00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:58,035
I know you're here,
424
00:20:58,082 --> 00:21:00,042
and I am going to hunt you down
like a jackal,
425
00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:02,574
and I'm gonna mount you
on my fucking wall!
426
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:07,738
So, if any of you
knows anything
427
00:21:07,788 --> 00:21:09,958
about my bomb line being moved,
428
00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:12,787
now would be the time
to speak up!
429
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:14,396
Because I am gonna
get to the bottom of this.
430
00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:17,487
You can mark my fucking words,
gentlemen.
431
00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:20,537
This is a black eye
on the squadron.
432
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:23,803
A good man has gone missing,
presumed captured.
433
00:21:23,847 --> 00:21:26,197
Maybe missing, presumed dead!
434
00:21:29,244 --> 00:21:31,384
The person who did it
is in this room...
435
00:21:33,379 --> 00:21:36,299
Right now--
I can fucking feel it.
436
00:21:38,122 --> 00:21:41,342
Oh, and by the way,
437
00:21:41,387 --> 00:21:44,127
we're going back to Bologna.
438
00:21:44,172 --> 00:21:47,132
Mark my fucking words.
439
00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:50,605
And you're going back there,
and you are gonna bomb the fuck
440
00:21:50,657 --> 00:21:52,007
out of those fuel dumps,
441
00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:53,439
and you are going to bomb
the fuck
442
00:21:53,486 --> 00:21:54,786
out of those antiaircraft guns,
443
00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:57,265
and I hope it's fucking bad.
444
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,666
And you'd better hope
that you don't bomb
445
00:21:59,709 --> 00:22:03,229
wherever it is they're holding
Major de Coverley.
446
00:22:03,278 --> 00:22:05,498
And I've got some good news.
447
00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:08,811
I'm raising the mission count
from 40 to 45.
448
00:22:08,849 --> 00:22:11,069
Oh, I knew you'd like that.
449
00:22:11,112 --> 00:22:13,982
And as punishment for this act
of fucking treason,
450
00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:17,288
I'm also raising it
from 45 to 50.
451
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,766
[men grumbling softly]
452
00:22:18,815 --> 00:22:22,335
CATHCART: Oh, do I sense
discontent, hmm?
453
00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:24,694
Well, look, fellas...
454
00:22:24,734 --> 00:22:27,004
I'm not an unreasonable man.
455
00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:30,041
What's say we make a deal, hmm?
456
00:22:33,003 --> 00:22:35,573
If the repugnant swamp scum
457
00:22:35,615 --> 00:22:38,225
that moved my bomb line
were to step forward
458
00:22:38,269 --> 00:22:40,359
and admit his guilt,
459
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:43,232
I would be willing to lower
the mission count
460
00:22:43,274 --> 00:22:46,584
from 50 to 45.
461
00:22:46,626 --> 00:22:48,056
Hmm?
462
00:22:48,105 --> 00:22:50,275
Effective immediately.
463
00:23:03,425 --> 00:23:05,165
You fucking coward.
464
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:09,386
Dis-fucking-missed!
465
00:23:09,431 --> 00:23:12,431
[indistinct soft chatter]
466
00:23:20,311 --> 00:23:21,701
AARFY: All right,
that's 45 seconds to run.
467
00:23:21,748 --> 00:23:23,228
45 seconds.
468
00:23:23,271 --> 00:23:24,881
PILOT: It's getting hot
up here, fellas.
469
00:23:24,925 --> 00:23:26,485
NATELY: Down there!
Just beyond the bridge!
470
00:23:26,535 --> 00:23:28,355
There's a whole convoy
on that road!
471
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,277
AARFY: Yeah,
we're coming up on it now.
472
00:23:30,321 --> 00:23:32,151
You all right up there?
473
00:23:32,193 --> 00:23:34,763
PILOT: We got you, we got you.
You're okay.
474
00:23:34,804 --> 00:23:37,374
PILOT 2: We're getting
hammered! Let's go!
475
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,676
[dramatic music]
476
00:23:39,722 --> 00:23:42,902
AARFY: All right, McWatt.
Bring her to 043.
477
00:23:42,943 --> 00:23:45,473
Holding steady at 4,500.
478
00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:47,991
043 at 4,500.
479
00:23:48,035 --> 00:23:49,775
NATELY: Is that it
down there?
480
00:23:49,819 --> 00:23:51,389
MCWATT: Is that what
down there?
481
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:53,560
Fucking Bologna! AARFY: No, no, no.
482
00:23:53,606 --> 00:23:55,426
It's still 13 miles
to Bologna.
483
00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:57,037
NATELY: Holy shit.
484
00:23:57,087 --> 00:23:59,827
CATHCART: They make it
with a pesto sauce.
485
00:23:59,873 --> 00:24:01,833
And the parmesan, oh...
486
00:24:01,875 --> 00:24:03,955
It is something,
let me tell you, Korn.
487
00:24:04,007 --> 00:24:05,267
It is something.
488
00:24:05,313 --> 00:24:06,973
Yes, sir.
489
00:24:09,012 --> 00:24:10,322
[siren wailing]
490
00:24:10,361 --> 00:24:13,281
What in God's green earth
is that?
491
00:24:13,321 --> 00:24:15,631
What is that?
492
00:24:15,671 --> 00:24:19,071
[wailing continues,
plane engines roaring]
493
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,900
MILO: It's only me.
It's only me.
494
00:24:25,594 --> 00:24:26,904
CAPTAIN: Hands in the air!
495
00:24:26,943 --> 00:24:29,033
No, it's okay!
These are ours now!
496
00:24:29,076 --> 00:24:31,986
I said, "Hands in the air."MILO: Yes, I understand that.
497
00:24:32,035 --> 00:24:33,685
There's been
a crossed wire somewhere.
498
00:24:33,733 --> 00:24:34,823
CAPTAIN: Who are you?
499
00:24:34,864 --> 00:24:36,434
I'm Milo! I'm--
500
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,645
I'm the mess officer.
You know me, Captain.
501
00:24:38,694 --> 00:24:39,744
I feed you.
502
00:24:39,782 --> 00:24:41,092
State your business here.
503
00:24:41,131 --> 00:24:43,481
Business!
My business is business.
504
00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:46,395
These are no longer military,
these are trade.
505
00:24:46,441 --> 00:24:47,881
CAPTAIN: These are
enemy planes.
506
00:24:47,921 --> 00:24:49,441
MILO: Well,
technically speaking,
507
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:52,398
that's no longer the case
as of today.
508
00:24:52,447 --> 00:24:56,147
This explains, in great detail,
509
00:24:56,190 --> 00:24:57,930
that these
are syndicate planes now.
510
00:24:57,974 --> 00:25:00,374
CAPTAIN: What syndicate?MILO: Our syndicate.
511
00:25:00,411 --> 00:25:02,761
We're all part
of the syndicate, even you.
512
00:25:02,805 --> 00:25:04,145
And these are all in order.
513
00:25:04,198 --> 00:25:05,808
I said put your hands
in the air!
514
00:25:05,852 --> 00:25:08,032
Of course.
Anyway, the Germans are part
515
00:25:08,071 --> 00:25:10,381
of the syndicate, too, and so
what's happening today is,
516
00:25:10,421 --> 00:25:13,251
the Germans are contributing
three cargo planes
517
00:25:13,294 --> 00:25:14,384
to the syndicate.
518
00:25:14,425 --> 00:25:15,685
CAPTAIN: Who are these men?
519
00:25:15,731 --> 00:25:17,081
Are they Germans?
520
00:25:17,124 --> 00:25:19,264
Well, yes and no.
They're delegates.
521
00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:20,690
They're here today
representing the interests
522
00:25:20,736 --> 00:25:22,256
of M&M Enterprises.
523
00:25:22,303 --> 00:25:23,483
No, I know
what you're gonna say.
524
00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:25,092
Sure, we're at war
with the Germans,
525
00:25:25,132 --> 00:25:27,532
but the Germans are also
members in good standing
526
00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:29,479
of the syndicate,
and they pay their bills
527
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:32,358
a lot more promptly than a lot
of allies of ours I could name.
528
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,320
So it's my job to protect
their rights as shareholders,
529
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:38,409
just as I will protect yours
as members of the syndicate.
530
00:25:38,449 --> 00:25:41,629
CATHCART: Weapons down!
Put your goddamn weapons down!
531
00:25:41,670 --> 00:25:43,590
[engine revs, brakes squeal]
532
00:25:43,629 --> 00:25:45,759
Sir, these are German flyers,
and those are German planes.
533
00:25:45,805 --> 00:25:47,105
And you did
the right thing, Captain.
534
00:25:47,154 --> 00:25:48,594
Milo, have you got
those papers?
535
00:25:48,634 --> 00:25:49,644
Yes, sir.
Can I lower my arms, sir?
536
00:25:49,678 --> 00:25:51,248
CATHCART: Lower your arms.
537
00:25:51,288 --> 00:25:52,728
Have you got the originals
and carbon copies?
538
00:25:52,768 --> 00:25:53,938
MILO: Yes, sir,
they're all right here.
539
00:25:53,987 --> 00:25:56,557
CATHCART: Korn!
Milo, I apologize
540
00:25:56,598 --> 00:25:58,338
for not passing
the relevant information
541
00:25:58,382 --> 00:26:01,172
down the chain of command--
hence, all this kerfuffle.
542
00:26:01,211 --> 00:26:03,611
As of now, these planes
543
00:26:03,649 --> 00:26:06,299
are part of
the M&M Enterprise fleet.
544
00:26:08,349 --> 00:26:10,309
Beautiful. Follow me, sir.
545
00:26:10,351 --> 00:26:13,401
These planes are a beauty.
They fly like a dream.
546
00:26:13,441 --> 00:26:14,791
Watch your head.
547
00:26:14,834 --> 00:26:16,314
Hey, that's beautiful work,
Luca.
548
00:26:16,357 --> 00:26:18,747
Perfetto, grazie!
549
00:26:18,794 --> 00:26:20,714
Very nice, Milo.
550
00:26:20,753 --> 00:26:22,543
Very elegant.Thank you, sir.
551
00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:24,501
I think so, too, sir.
552
00:26:24,539 --> 00:26:26,849
[dramatic music]
553
00:26:26,889 --> 00:26:30,149
NATELY: 043 at 4,500!
043 at 4,500!
554
00:26:30,197 --> 00:26:32,977
Are you reading me, Yossarian? PILOT: Hey, can you hear me?
555
00:26:33,026 --> 00:26:34,716
PILOT 2: This ain't the time
to fuck around, man.
556
00:26:34,767 --> 00:26:36,377
PILOT 3: Yeah, they're really
lighting it up.
557
00:26:36,420 --> 00:26:38,340
NATELY: Come on,
you getting close?
558
00:26:38,379 --> 00:26:39,819
Yo-Yo, what's going on?
559
00:26:39,859 --> 00:26:41,949
There's something wrong
with the plane!
560
00:26:41,991 --> 00:26:44,121
There's something wrong
with the--
561
00:26:44,167 --> 00:26:46,037
[transmission breaking up]
562
00:26:46,082 --> 00:26:47,822
Something's wrong
with the plane?
563
00:26:47,867 --> 00:26:49,827
What's the matter?
564
00:26:49,869 --> 00:26:51,439
There's just something
the matter with--
565
00:26:51,479 --> 00:26:53,089
[distorted speech] KID: I don't know!
566
00:26:53,133 --> 00:26:54,873
Who is that screaming?
567
00:26:54,917 --> 00:26:56,827
This is Yossarian in the nose!
568
00:26:56,876 --> 00:26:58,086
Yossarian in the nose!
569
00:26:58,138 --> 00:26:59,968
Didn't you say there was
something the matter--
570
00:27:00,009 --> 00:27:01,839
KID: I thought you said
something was the matter.
571
00:27:01,881 --> 00:27:03,621
Everything seems fine up here.
Everything's all right.
572
00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:05,615
[dramatic music]
573
00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:07,187
I can't hear you.
574
00:27:07,234 --> 00:27:10,504
KID: I said everything
seems all right.
575
00:27:10,541 --> 00:27:13,761
MCWATT: Holding steady,
4,500 feet.
576
00:27:13,806 --> 00:27:16,586
AARFY: Drop those fuckers,
Yo-Yo! Let's go!
577
00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:20,805
PILOT: Come on, boys, let's-- [transmission breaking up]
578
00:27:20,856 --> 00:27:23,116
I said I still can't hear you!
579
00:27:23,163 --> 00:27:24,863
Is anybody there?
580
00:27:24,904 --> 00:27:28,084
MCWATT: How close are we?
581
00:27:28,124 --> 00:27:30,344
Are we dropping or what?
582
00:27:30,387 --> 00:27:33,697
Hey, I can't hear you.What?
583
00:27:33,739 --> 00:27:34,909
I can't hear you.
584
00:27:34,957 --> 00:27:36,437
I don't know
what you're saying.
585
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,050
I can't hear you!I said I can't hear you!
586
00:27:38,091 --> 00:27:40,091
I'm shouting as loud as I can!
587
00:27:40,136 --> 00:27:42,096
Look, there's something wrong
with the intercom!
588
00:27:42,138 --> 00:27:44,528
We have to turn back.For an intercom?
589
00:27:44,575 --> 00:27:47,095
We're not turning back
for a broken intercom.
590
00:27:47,143 --> 00:27:49,623
[explosions]
591
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:52,188
Turn back, or I'll break
your fucking head!
592
00:27:52,235 --> 00:27:53,845
You're kidding, right?
593
00:27:53,889 --> 00:27:55,669
I can't do my job
594
00:27:55,717 --> 00:27:57,547
if I can't fucking hear you
up there!
595
00:27:57,588 --> 00:27:59,108
Yes, you can!No, I can't!
596
00:27:59,155 --> 00:28:00,495
Yes, you can!No, I can't!
597
00:28:00,548 --> 00:28:02,158
I think we need
to pull out, McWatt.
598
00:28:02,202 --> 00:28:04,682
No fucking way!
599
00:28:11,602 --> 00:28:14,432
Fine. Fuck you.
600
00:28:15,824 --> 00:28:17,484
Jesus.
601
00:28:19,262 --> 00:28:21,312
All planes,
this is "Yankee Doodle."
602
00:28:21,351 --> 00:28:22,441
We are pulling out.
603
00:28:22,483 --> 00:28:25,313
We have
a technical difficulty here!
604
00:28:25,355 --> 00:28:29,485
[explosions]
605
00:28:47,943 --> 00:28:54,523
Good. Good.
606
00:28:58,519 --> 00:29:01,569
[tires crunch, screech]
607
00:29:04,612 --> 00:29:06,532
Hey, you know
what your problem is?
608
00:29:06,570 --> 00:29:08,440
You still think you're
gonna get out of here.
609
00:29:08,485 --> 00:29:10,785
And you fly like you don't.Exactly.
610
00:29:10,836 --> 00:29:12,396
I fly however the fuck I want.
611
00:29:12,446 --> 00:29:13,926
Sure, fly however
the fuck you want.
612
00:29:13,969 --> 00:29:15,879
Just not when I'm
in the same plane.
613
00:29:15,928 --> 00:29:17,758
Oh, it doesn't make a goddamn
bit of difference how I fly.
614
00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:18,929
You're just a coward.
615
00:29:18,974 --> 00:29:20,724
I'm the bravest
fucking man you know.
616
00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:22,669
Okay, do what you got to do.
617
00:29:22,717 --> 00:29:24,497
I mean, I'm not going to tell
anyone you pulled those wires.
618
00:29:24,545 --> 00:29:26,155
I mean, I-I'm swell with it.
619
00:29:26,199 --> 00:29:28,719
I mean, it's okay
if you're afraid.
620
00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:31,597
I'm not afraid.
I'm just keeping us alive.
621
00:29:31,639 --> 00:29:34,029
Oh, yeah, you are.
You're afraid.
622
00:29:34,076 --> 00:29:36,556
Oh, Christ, you're ridiculous.
623
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,910
You know the difference
between me and you?
624
00:29:38,951 --> 00:29:42,221
Me, happy, happy,
happy, happy, dead.
625
00:29:42,258 --> 00:29:46,178
You, worry, worry,
worry, worry, dead.
626
00:29:46,219 --> 00:29:48,609
Don't drag me
into your shit, okay?
627
00:29:48,656 --> 00:29:51,696
[airplane engine
roars overhead]
628
00:30:22,908 --> 00:30:25,208
CHAPLAIN: Sorry about today.
629
00:30:25,258 --> 00:30:27,168
Just when you think
you're close to heading home,
630
00:30:27,216 --> 00:30:29,436
ten more missions--I-I can only
imagine how that must feel.
631
00:30:29,479 --> 00:30:31,259
He's a goddamn monster.
632
00:30:31,307 --> 00:30:33,697
To punish the squadron
for one man's transgression?
633
00:30:33,744 --> 00:30:35,624
I-I'm not a believer
634
00:30:35,659 --> 00:30:37,619
in that sort of Old Testament
retribution myself.
635
00:30:37,661 --> 00:30:40,621
And was it really
a transgression?
636
00:30:40,664 --> 00:30:43,544
Well, to knowingly allow
your fellow men to be punished
637
00:30:43,580 --> 00:30:45,020
for a crime you committed,
638
00:30:45,060 --> 00:30:47,320
I-I would say
that's a transgression.
639
00:30:47,367 --> 00:30:49,797
But what if the crime
wasn't really a crime?
640
00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:52,148
Or even if it was a crime,
so what?
641
00:30:52,198 --> 00:30:53,758
The punishment is irrational.
642
00:30:53,808 --> 00:30:55,638
Should that man
be held responsible
643
00:30:55,679 --> 00:30:57,459
for the irrationality
of the punishment?
644
00:30:57,507 --> 00:30:59,287
I would have thought
that you of all people
645
00:30:59,335 --> 00:31:01,855
would be incensed
at the actions of this person.
646
00:31:01,903 --> 00:31:03,823
He's just caused you
to fly ten more missions.
647
00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,952
I am.
I'm incensed.
648
00:31:05,994 --> 00:31:08,524
Not to mention
poor old Major de Coverly.
649
00:31:08,562 --> 00:31:10,262
[sighs]
650
00:31:10,303 --> 00:31:12,963
Was it a prank?
An act of sabotage?
651
00:31:13,001 --> 00:31:15,221
[scoffs]What if it was an accident?
652
00:31:15,264 --> 00:31:18,184
Well, I-I don't see
how it could be an accident.
653
00:31:18,224 --> 00:31:21,314
My understanding is the bomb
line is a piece of string.
654
00:31:21,357 --> 00:31:23,137
It doesn't just move
on its own.
655
00:31:23,185 --> 00:31:26,575
We don't know that,
and Cathcart certainly doesn't.
656
00:31:26,623 --> 00:31:29,843
How do--how do we know
Cathcart didn't do it himself
657
00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:32,188
just to raise the missions,
because he's nuts.
658
00:31:32,238 --> 00:31:33,938
He's crazy as a bedbug.
659
00:31:33,979 --> 00:31:36,899
Chaplain,
insanity is contagious.
660
00:31:36,938 --> 00:31:39,028
Everybody's crazy
except for us.
661
00:31:39,071 --> 00:31:41,771
You and I have to be careful.
662
00:31:41,812 --> 00:31:44,692
We may be the only sane people
in the entire world,
663
00:31:44,728 --> 00:31:47,858
and we're bullied and insulted
and harassed
664
00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:51,426
and shoved around
all day long by insane people.
665
00:31:51,474 --> 00:31:53,524
And we do our duty,
mission after mission--
666
00:31:53,563 --> 00:31:57,263
35, 40--then we're told
it's not good enough.
667
00:31:57,306 --> 00:32:00,006
And when we object,
people like Cathcart tell us
668
00:32:00,048 --> 00:32:02,438
any true patriot would be proud
to fly as many missions
669
00:32:02,485 --> 00:32:04,045
as they're forcing us to fly.
670
00:32:04,096 --> 00:32:05,966
You look at it that way,
671
00:32:06,011 --> 00:32:09,881
I don't know
if this bomb line guy
672
00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:11,888
really did the wrong thing.
673
00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:14,930
I mean...
You know what I mean?
674
00:32:16,543 --> 00:32:19,153
[indistinct shouting
in the distance]
675
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,640
[smooth jazz music]
676
00:32:26,683 --> 00:32:33,733
♪
677
00:33:00,630 --> 00:33:03,590
[indistinct chatter]
678
00:33:03,633 --> 00:33:05,813
♪
679
00:33:05,853 --> 00:33:07,553
CATHCART: At ease, at ease.
680
00:33:07,594 --> 00:33:09,604
Sit. Sit, please, sit.
681
00:33:13,034 --> 00:33:14,694
You did a lot
of damage today, boys.
682
00:33:14,731 --> 00:33:17,261
Bravo, we gave them
the real what-for.
683
00:33:18,909 --> 00:33:21,519
We lost 12 men...
684
00:33:21,564 --> 00:33:24,184
12 damn fine men.
685
00:33:24,219 --> 00:33:25,999
God rest their souls.
686
00:33:29,050 --> 00:33:30,750
But we did a lot of damage.
687
00:33:30,791 --> 00:33:32,451
Aerial photographs
are developed.
688
00:33:32,488 --> 00:33:34,398
Bombing patterns
are meticulous.
689
00:33:34,447 --> 00:33:36,967
So job well done.
690
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:41,185
Now, by way of saying
thank you...
691
00:33:41,236 --> 00:33:43,886
of letting you know
that your brave efforts
692
00:33:43,934 --> 00:33:46,814
do not go unappreciated...
693
00:33:46,850 --> 00:33:50,120
I have asked Milo,
our fine mess officer,
694
00:33:50,158 --> 00:33:53,378
to come up with something
special for you all.
695
00:33:55,381 --> 00:33:59,251
A personal favorite of mine--
Baked Alaska.
696
00:33:59,298 --> 00:34:01,648
Haven't had it
since before the war.
697
00:34:01,691 --> 00:34:03,561
Come on, boys, bring it in!
698
00:34:03,606 --> 00:34:05,996
There you go!
699
00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:08,004
There you go, boys.
700
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:11,216
[indistinct chatter]
701
00:34:11,266 --> 00:34:14,006
CATHCART: Milo, looks great.
702
00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:17,452
[chatter continues]
703
00:34:32,983 --> 00:34:36,163
[speaking Italian]
704
00:34:38,989 --> 00:34:41,729
[chatter continues]
705
00:34:43,907 --> 00:34:46,477
Goddamn yummy!
It's goddamn yummy!
706
00:34:46,519 --> 00:34:49,259
Is it not, gentleman?
Colonel Korn, what say you?
707
00:34:49,304 --> 00:34:50,914
KORN: Yes, sir, it's yummy.
708
00:34:50,958 --> 00:34:53,868
[chuckles]
Milo, fine job.
709
00:34:57,791 --> 00:35:00,531
Did you not get any?
710
00:35:00,576 --> 00:35:03,406
I say, did you not get any?NATELY: We did not, sir.
711
00:35:03,449 --> 00:35:07,189
CATHCART: I can't hear you.We did not, sir.
712
00:35:07,235 --> 00:35:10,625
Do you not want some?NATELY: No, thank you, sir.
713
00:35:17,550 --> 00:35:19,640
One plane turned back today.
714
00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:24,473
Would the crew of that plane
stand up?
715
00:35:33,827 --> 00:35:38,137
And who might the pilot
of this intrepid ship be?
716
00:35:40,660 --> 00:35:43,270
That'd be me, sir.KORN: That's McWatt, sir.
717
00:35:45,926 --> 00:35:47,146
McWatt.
718
00:35:49,756 --> 00:35:51,846
And pray tell, McWatt,
719
00:35:51,888 --> 00:35:55,978
what precipitated this urgent
need to be back at base?
720
00:35:59,592 --> 00:36:01,122
Broken intercom--
721
00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:03,119
Speak up
so everybody can hear you.
722
00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:05,551
A broken intercom, sir.
723
00:36:07,687 --> 00:36:08,857
Oh.
724
00:36:08,905 --> 00:36:10,945
[sucks teeth]
725
00:36:17,523 --> 00:36:22,273
Major Major, you've been
reading the manual, I believe.
726
00:36:22,310 --> 00:36:25,840
Tell us, in the course
of your studies,
727
00:36:25,879 --> 00:36:28,359
have you come across
a paragraph or a subclause
728
00:36:28,403 --> 00:36:32,763
that tells you
that a broken intercom
729
00:36:32,799 --> 00:36:35,369
is a valid Procedural
Termination Mechanism
730
00:36:35,410 --> 00:36:37,370
for Mission Abortion?
731
00:36:37,412 --> 00:36:38,672
I don't, um--
732
00:36:38,718 --> 00:36:40,238
[clears throat]
733
00:36:40,285 --> 00:36:44,105
I haven't necessarily--CATHCART: No, you haven't!
734
00:36:45,986 --> 00:36:47,986
Because there isn't one!
735
00:36:48,031 --> 00:36:51,431
And I want everyone to take
a good look at this table,
736
00:36:51,470 --> 00:36:53,390
because at this table,
737
00:36:53,428 --> 00:36:57,038
you will see the face
of cowardice!
738
00:37:02,307 --> 00:37:07,827
And that is not a face that
gets Baked Alaska put in it.
739
00:37:10,576 --> 00:37:13,536
[slow jazz music]
740
00:37:13,579 --> 00:37:20,589
♪
741
00:37:28,681 --> 00:37:30,991
Hi.[girls giggle]
742
00:37:31,031 --> 00:37:32,821
[indistinct chatter]
743
00:37:32,859 --> 00:37:39,909
♪
744
00:37:45,872 --> 00:37:48,962
[seagulls crying]
745
00:37:56,883 --> 00:37:59,893
[airplane engine
roars overhead]
746
00:38:06,371 --> 00:38:09,681
[all shouting]
747
00:38:09,722 --> 00:38:12,382
It's goddamn McWatt!
748
00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:15,290
[laughing]
749
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:20,780
Oh, Jesus Christ.KID: Get out of here, McWatt!
750
00:38:20,820 --> 00:38:22,650
AARFY: What the fuck?
751
00:38:22,691 --> 00:38:24,611
You piece of shit!
752
00:38:24,650 --> 00:38:28,000
McWatt, you fucking maniac!
[chuckles]
753
00:38:31,831 --> 00:38:33,141
Son of a bitch.
754
00:38:33,180 --> 00:38:35,840
Come on, McWatt,
let's see what you got.
755
00:38:35,878 --> 00:38:38,618
AARFY: McWatt, you nut!What's he doing?
756
00:38:38,664 --> 00:38:40,884
Yeah, get him, Sampson.Yeah, Kid, get him!
757
00:38:40,927 --> 00:38:43,097
Come on, Kid, get him.NATELY: Here he comes.
758
00:38:43,146 --> 00:38:44,756
KID: Come on, McWatt!Here he comes!
759
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,540
KID: Come on!Let's see what you got!
760
00:38:47,586 --> 00:38:50,276
Oh, I see you, motherfucker.
Come on, McWatt.
761
00:38:51,807 --> 00:38:53,197
YOSSARIAN: That's right,
give it to him.
762
00:38:53,243 --> 00:38:54,723
Kid Sampson,
shove it up his ass!
763
00:38:54,767 --> 00:38:56,327
Shove it right up his ass!KID: Come on!
764
00:38:56,377 --> 00:38:57,507
Whoo!
765
00:38:57,552 --> 00:38:59,032
[engine roaring]
766
00:38:59,075 --> 00:39:00,815
Shove it up his ass!
767
00:39:00,860 --> 00:39:03,210
This is going
straight up your ass, McWatt!
768
00:39:03,253 --> 00:39:05,523
Oh, shit!
769
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,910
KID: Whoo!
770
00:39:07,954 --> 00:39:11,574
[somber music]
771
00:39:11,610 --> 00:39:13,920
Oh.
772
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:15,740
He got Kid Sampson.
773
00:39:15,788 --> 00:39:18,568
He got Kid Sampson!Fuck!
774
00:39:18,617 --> 00:39:21,657
Fuck! No, no!
Oh, God!
775
00:39:21,707 --> 00:39:26,707
♪
776
00:39:26,755 --> 00:39:29,885
[yelling]
777
00:39:29,932 --> 00:39:33,812
♪
778
00:39:33,849 --> 00:39:35,629
Oh, no.
779
00:39:35,677 --> 00:39:37,637
[grunts]
780
00:39:37,679 --> 00:39:43,689
♪
781
00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:57,483
What are you doing, McWatt?
782
00:39:57,525 --> 00:40:04,525
♪
783
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:21,380
[spits]
784
00:40:21,419 --> 00:40:27,429
♪
785
00:40:30,776 --> 00:40:32,996
Happy, happy, happy, happy!
786
00:40:35,694 --> 00:40:38,174
Aah!
787
00:40:40,220 --> 00:40:43,180
[soft music]
788
00:40:43,223 --> 00:40:50,273
♪
55620
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