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1
00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:03,964
Bombs away. SCHEISSKOPFF: In 60 days,
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,144
you're gonna be
fighting the Hun,
3
00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:06,919
and you think this
is a big, fat joke?
4
00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:08,493
CLEVINGER: No, sir. SCHEISSKOPFF: No, what, sir?
5
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:10,750
No, what--what, sir?No, what?
6
00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:12,533
MARION: Do you sleep with me
because you like me
7
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:15,097
or because you hate
my husband?
8
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:16,795
Bit of both. DUNBAR: Hey, fellas!
9
00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:20,462
This guy's name
is Major Major Major.
10
00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,148
[laughter]
11
00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:23,366
Hello, sir.
12
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:25,034
And when was the last time
you had strudel?
13
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,068
Not recently.
14
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:28,813
If I was Mess Officer,
I could fix it.
15
00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:30,384
HARVEY: We're getting close!
16
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:31,381
Jesus Christ.
17
00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:33,162
Shit. Not a milk run
anymore, fellas.
18
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:35,507
[booming]
19
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:36,777
Oh!
20
00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:38,469
HARVEY: Holy shit!
What the fuck was that?
21
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:39,996
[screaming]
22
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,520
MAN: Let's get out of here!
23
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,093
Come on, guys![gunshot]
24
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:46,660
I'm Colonel Cathcart, and I am
gonna toughen you ladies up.
25
00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:49,698
I have decided to raise the
mission count from 25 to 30.
26
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:52,045
YOSSARIAN: Doc, you can
ground me if I'm crazy, right?
27
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,265
Catch-22.
28
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:54,624
Anyone who wants
to get out of combat duty
29
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:55,843
isn't really crazy.
30
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:58,151
And so he has
to fly more missions.
31
00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:00,408
YOSSARIAN: That's some catch,
that Catch-22.
32
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,851
♪ [The Andrews Sisters'
"Any Bonds Today"]
33
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:07,330
♪
34
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,901
THE ANDREWS SISTERS:
♪ Any bonds today
35
00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:12,199
♪ The bonds of freedom,
that's what I'm selling ♪
36
00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:14,896
♪ Any bonds today
37
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:17,434
♪ Scrape up the most you can
38
00:01:17,468 --> 00:01:19,168
♪ Here comes the freedom man
39
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:24,349
♪ Asking you to buy a share
of freedom today ♪
40
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:26,128
♪ Any stamps today
41
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:27,393
[cheers and applause]
42
00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,385
♪ We'll be blessed
if we all invest ♪
43
00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:32,267
♪ In the U.S.A.
44
00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:34,749
♪ Here comes the freedom man
45
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,490
♪ Can't make tomorrow's plan
46
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:39,191
♪ Not unless you buy a share
of freedom today ♪
47
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:42,189
[cheers and applause]
48
00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:43,632
♪
49
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:46,448
[cheers and applause]MAN: Whoo!
50
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:48,327
[indistinct chatter]
51
00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:49,979
WOMAN: ♪ The tall man
with the high hat ♪
52
00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:51,722
♪ And the whiskers
on his chin ♪
53
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:54,513
♪ Will soon be knocking
at your door ♪
54
00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:59,159
[horn honking]
55
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:01,119
Who's Major Major?
56
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,738
Well, we need you for
the group leaders meeting.
57
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,170
We're allocating
the Requisitions Budget
58
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:11,907
for next quarter.
Let's go.
59
00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:17,697
Uh, I--I'm sorry,
and my part in that is?
60
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:20,136
All members of Senior Command
are automatically part
61
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,193
of the Group Leaders'
Allocation and Requisition
62
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:26,149
Procedural Advisory Board,
GLARPAB.
63
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,359
GLARPAB?
64
00:02:27,408 --> 00:02:29,928
For God's sakes,
we're late for the meeting.
65
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:33,715
Oh, with all due respect,
sir, I'm a sergeant.
66
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:34,982
You're a sergeant?Yes, sir.
67
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:37,204
I'm only a sergeant.
68
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:38,644
But you're Major Major.Yes, sir.
69
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,470
That's my name, sir.
Uh...[laughs]
70
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:43,079
I've been through this
with the fellas, sir.
71
00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:46,079
Uh, it's my birth name.
It's a funny story.
72
00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:47,302
Um, but now may not
be the time.
73
00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:49,691
So, yes, in short,
I'm Sergeant Major Major.
74
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,434
Major Major is my name.
Sergeant is my rank.
75
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:54,255
He's already on the calendar
sheets right up to September.
76
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:55,314
List--
77
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:58,132
Good Christ, that means
that he's also in the--
78
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,178
Yes, sir.
79
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:00,702
He's already down
for Wednesday's
80
00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:02,355
subcommittee briefings, yes.
81
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:05,324
Sergeant.
82
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:08,279
Major--Sergeant--whatever
your goddamn name is,
83
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:09,668
you're not making a whiff
of sense to me.
84
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,541
Sir, uh, like
I told the fellas,
85
00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:14,242
well, uh, my father was
something of a practical joker.
86
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,111
He named me Major Major.
87
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,852
First name Major,
middle name Major,
88
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:21,293
behind my mother's back,
uh, on the birth certificate.
89
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:24,941
Uh, and my surname's Major,
too, as you already know.
90
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,947
Well, that is a hell
of a practical joke,
91
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,250
isn't it, son?
92
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,856
He was a piece of work, sir.
93
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:36,522
What are we gonna do?
94
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,614
We can't have a goddamn
sergeant in GLARPAB.
95
00:03:38,653 --> 00:03:41,223
That's correct, sir.
It's for Senior Command only.
96
00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:47,876
Unless, sir,
you promote him.
97
00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:53,146
Sergeant Major,
step forward.
98
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,632
Sergeant Major,
congratulations.
99
00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,802
I'm herby promoting
you to a major.
100
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,628
Congratulations.
Get in.
101
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,327
MAJOR: But, no, sir--sir, I--
102
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:05,814
CATHCART: You're a good man.
You've earned it.
103
00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,204
You've worked hard.Yes, sir.
104
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,337
Um, d-does that mean, uh--
105
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,158
what--will my duties
be any different?
106
00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:11,376
Will his duties be any
different, Colonel Korn?
107
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:12,555
Of course, sir.
He's a major, sir.
108
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,950
Of course there are.
You're a major.
109
00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:15,732
We don't just hand out
promotions willy-nilly.
110
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,127
You'll act
like a major,
111
00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:18,739
you'll perform the duties
of a major, God damn it.
112
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:20,300
Yes, sir.
And--and--and those are?
113
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:22,737
Major Major, congratulations.
You're a major.
114
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,004
Give him the goddamn thing.
115
00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,396
These are the minutes
from last Allocation
116
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:27,139
and Requisitions meeting
and the agenda for today.
117
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:29,139
Uh...
118
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:32,792
[car engine revving]
119
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:34,227
Don't just stand there!
120
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,234
Get in the goddamn jeep.
121
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,056
♪ [Johnny Hodges' "Things
Ain't What They Used To Be"]
122
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:39,893
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
123
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:46,981
♪
124
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:54,863
Hey, fellas!
125
00:04:54,903 --> 00:05:01,953
♪
126
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:18,710
Okay.
These go inside.
127
00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:21,763
You carry two at a time.
Like this.
128
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,319
Carry, carry.
129
00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,146
Rapido, rapido!
130
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:28,675
Good lads.
Bueno, bueno.
131
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:29,979
What's going on?
132
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:32,155
Oh, you like watermelons?
133
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,681
What is this?
134
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,944
They didn't tell you?Tell me what?
135
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:38,987
Oh, I am so sorry about that.
136
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,644
I'm the Mess Officer now.
137
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,778
[chuckles]
What are you talking about?
138
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:48,170
Uh, I am
the Mess Officer now.
139
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:51,527
And, uh, you're not.
140
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:54,088
But this is what I do.
141
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:56,006
I know. I tried
to tell them that myself.
142
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,311
It's ridiculous.
143
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,617
What the hell do I know
about running a kitchen?
144
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:03,323
No, no.
Those go in the pantry.
145
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:10,373
♪
146
00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:15,203
At 0930, sir, Major Prendergast
from the Car Relative
147
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:16,994
Operations Southern
Division Committee
148
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,728
will be here to speak to you
about the combined groups'
149
00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:20,159
requisition outreach.
150
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,895
At 1000, that'll be
Colonel Westridge.
151
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:25,517
Okay, 1100,
a Milo Minderbinder
152
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,649
has asked to see you.
He's the Mess Officer.
153
00:06:27,691 --> 00:06:29,611
He wants to talk to you
about an unusual new variety
154
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,260
of truffles, sir.
155
00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:33,393
Apparently they're worth
a lot of money.
156
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:37,696
Okay.
157
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,669
What would you say
if I told you I don't want
158
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,101
to see those people?
159
00:06:49,147 --> 00:06:50,407
Which people in particular,
sir?
160
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,633
All of them.
Any of them.
161
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,543
Well, sir, my job
is to schedule your day
162
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:55,758
as you request.
163
00:06:57,504 --> 00:07:02,994
Okay, uh, from now on,
I would much prefer if no one
164
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:05,511
came in to see me
while I'm here.
165
00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:08,295
Yes, sir.
Does that include me, sir?
166
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,470
Yes, that includes you,
sergeant.
167
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,037
Of course, sir.
168
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:14,223
That's no one ever.
169
00:07:14,259 --> 00:07:16,039
I see, sir.
Very good, sir.
170
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:18,527
Will that be all, sir?
171
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:20,048
Yes.
172
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:21,621
[laughing]
173
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:23,358
Uh, yes, yes.
That will be all.
174
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:24,969
[chuckles]
175
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,269
What shall I say to the people
who do come to see you
176
00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:27,705
while you're here?
177
00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:30,541
Tell them, uh--tell them I'm in
and ask them to wait.
178
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:31,890
Yes, sir.
For how long?
179
00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:33,409
Until I've left.
180
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,503
W-what shall I do
with them then, sir?
181
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:38,202
Uh, you know what?
I don't care.
182
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,240
May I send them in
to see you after you've left?
183
00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:41,765
Yes. Yes, you may.
You may indeed.
184
00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:42,849
But you won't be here then,
will you?
185
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,287
Yes, that's correct.
186
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:45,863
Well, sir, just to clarify,
when should I come here
187
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,470
to find out if there's anything
you want me to do for you?
188
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:48,860
When I'm not here.
189
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:50,213
Yes, and what
should I do?
190
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,692
Uh, whatever I tell you to.
191
00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:52,862
But you won't be here
to tell me.
192
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:55,077
No.Then what should I do?
193
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,256
Whatever has to be done.
194
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,781
Cross that bridge
when we come to it.
195
00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:00,126
Yes, sir.
196
00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:01,305
Good.
197
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,702
Well, dismissed, then.
198
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:11,804
[door clicks shut]
199
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:22,109
CHAPLAIN: The Lord
is my shepherd.
200
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:24,553
I shall not want.
201
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:27,291
He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures.
202
00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:30,162
He leadeth me
beside still waters.
203
00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:33,155
He restoreth my soul.
204
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,558
He leadeth me
in paths of righteousness
205
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,392
for his name's sake.
206
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:38,949
Yea, though I walk
through the valley
207
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:41,086
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil.
208
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,829
Look, enough with all
the death stuff, huh?
209
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,700
What do you say we send
the boys out feeling good?
210
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:48,481
Don't you have something
a little bit more, I dunno,
211
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,748
goddamn sunnier?
212
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:54,713
Sunnier.
213
00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:00,707
May the road rise to meet you.
214
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:03,537
May the wind
be always at your back,
215
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,846
the sun shine warm
upon your face,
216
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:09,774
the rains fall soft
upon your fields.
217
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,330
And until we meet again,
218
00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:13,376
may God hold you
in the palm of his hand.
219
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,032
[loud booming]
220
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:18,466
MAN: Closing in on target.
30 seconds to run.
221
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,174
[plane engines rumbling]
222
00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:22,521
Crew, you still fucking
alive back there?
223
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:26,262
[dramatic music]
224
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,184
MAN: Yossarian,
are you on a steady heading?
225
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,259
We're approaching.
226
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:30,397
Steady.
227
00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:32,919
♪
228
00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:34,053
[motors running]
229
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:41,015
♪
230
00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:43,188
Bombs away.
231
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:45,804
Okay, over to you, McWatt.
get us out of here.
232
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:50,416
♪
233
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:53,419
[booming]
234
00:09:53,462 --> 00:10:00,512
♪
235
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:12,127
[tires squealing]
236
00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:18,136
♪
237
00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:19,662
[bell dings]
238
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,356
CATHCART: We have pounded
the bastards into submission
239
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,363
and we have taken Rome.
240
00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:25,575
Congratulations, gentlemen.
241
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,885
St. Lawrence Basilica, rubble.
242
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:32,022
This one, good job.
243
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:36,416
This, bravo.
Bravo, gentlemen.
244
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,551
What is this?
245
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:40,684
What the hell is this?
246
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,987
What in the goddamn hell
is this?
247
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,995
That looks like a goddamn
tourist postcard!
248
00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:51,039
Hands up, bombardiers.
249
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,735
Well, there you have it.
250
00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:58,175
A group of idiots
trying to singlehandedly
251
00:10:58,222 --> 00:11:00,222
lose this fucking war for us.
252
00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:02,488
Next time, why don't we
just drop leaflets?
253
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,011
Guten tag,my German friends.
254
00:11:04,054 --> 00:11:07,364
You just have a fine
old fucking day, why don't you?
255
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:08,965
What are we trying to be?
256
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:11,666
What have I told you
that we are trying to be?
257
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:14,154
Comprehensive.
Blanket coverage.
258
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:17,065
Flush the enemy out.
How many times have I told you?
259
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:18,201
How many times--
260
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:19,682
That's the Vatican, sir.
261
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:28,297
All right, then.
That's Vatican City.
262
00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:30,949
And as we all know, that is
neutral territory, so good job.
263
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:33,394
That is precision bombing,
gentlemen.
264
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,871
You gotta respect
that neutral territory.
265
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,132
Terrific job.
266
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,311
Gotta love those Catholics,
huh?
267
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,660
And the Jews.
268
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:48,102
Major de Coverley.
269
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:50,972
Major de Coverley will be
heading to Rome to spearhead
270
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:53,764
his Advance Reconnaissance
Residential Plan
271
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,370
and, as usual, securing
accommodations for the officers
272
00:11:57,412 --> 00:12:00,332
in the performing
of their administrative duties
273
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:03,161
as well as their weekend leave,
of course.
274
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,380
Major de Coverley, we look
forward, as always, to your...
275
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,341
splendid accommodations.
276
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:11,079
That's if I can find any
still standing in there.
277
00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:15,171
[laughter]
278
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:17,002
I'm sure you will.
279
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,565
Gosh, I'm proud of you,
gentlemen.
280
00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:29,355
I'm very proud indeed.
281
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:35,103
So what do you say
we speed this thing up, hmm?
282
00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:37,625
Are you with me?
All right, then.
283
00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:39,409
Let's get this thing
over and done with.
284
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:42,074
Let's put the hurt on Jerry.
Let's pitch in.
285
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,019
Let's raise the mission count
to 35.
286
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:47,107
35 it is, gentlemen.
We're gonna win this thing.
287
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:48,937
We're gonna win
this fucking thing.
288
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,855
35 it is. [bell dings]
289
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:53,730
[quirky music]
290
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,253
Can't go in there, sir.Yes, I can.
291
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:57,076
He's my point guard.
292
00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:58,564
He's raising
the missions again.
293
00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:00,693
He's raising the goddamn
missions again.
294
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:02,166
He's awfully keen.
295
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:04,646
No, he's not keen.
He's crazy!
296
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,786
I-I have no power.Yes, you do.
297
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,739
You have the power
to stand men down.
298
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,918
On what basis?Find a basis.
299
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:13,104
Good God, there are basises
everywhere.
300
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:14,880
Yossarian, I don't even
want to be here.
301
00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:16,144
I'm two missions away.
302
00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:18,276
And, bang, 35, just like that.
303
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:20,149
And just like that,
I'm 7 away.
304
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:21,540
That's terrible.
305
00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:24,463
Yossarian,
that's simply terrible.
306
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,019
I'm afraid.
307
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:27,936
That--that's nothing
to be ashamed of.
308
00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:30,331
I'm not ashamed.
I'm afraid.
309
00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:33,734
So what are we gonna do?
310
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:35,119
I don't know.
311
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,552
I-I don't even know
what powers I have.
312
00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:37,598
Well, somebody must know.
313
00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:39,302
It must be written down
somewhere.
314
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,380
Yeah?
315
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:43,609
Probably in here somewhere.
316
00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:44,908
What the hell
is that?
317
00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:49,224
It's the Group Leaders
Operations Manual.
318
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:50,663
Perhaps I should read it.
319
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:54,362
Jesus Christ. Okay.
320
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,750
You read this.
321
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,493
You figure out
what your powers are.
322
00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,714
And you come find me when you
know how they can be used
323
00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:03,363
to help me, hmm?
324
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,317
Mm-hmm.
325
00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,236
I'll be in the hospital.
326
00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:12,982
Thank you, Major.
327
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:15,156
I mean...thank you, sir.
328
00:14:15,202 --> 00:14:18,162
[quirky music]
329
00:14:18,205 --> 00:14:25,205
♪
330
00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:33,918
Hello. How are you?
331
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,010
♪
332
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:38,089
Hi. Hi.
333
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:40,578
How are you?
334
00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:42,318
Hello.
335
00:14:42,359 --> 00:14:47,319
♪
336
00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:49,984
What's going on here?
337
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,929
I just need
a few days, maximum.
338
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,888
A few days for what?For my situation.
339
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:56,587
My situation's complicated.
340
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,464
I have a major
working on it right now.
341
00:14:58,506 --> 00:15:00,986
He's having to sort through
some very technical details.
342
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:03,340
Documents. Debts.
343
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,990
What's that got to do
with you being in here?
344
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:06,994
Well, if it helps
your situation at all,
345
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:08,726
I really am feeling
a little unwell.
346
00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:10,127
My situation?
347
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,260
Look, I'll be quiet
as a mouse.
348
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:14,042
If you need a bed,
I'm out of here in two minutes
349
00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:15,957
and you'll barely even
know that I'm here.
350
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:19,655
Please?
351
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:24,753
♪ [Tommy Dorsey's
"Then I'll Be Happy"]
352
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:31,843
♪
353
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,513
TEXAN: Remember the Alamo?
You're goddamn right I do.
354
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,425
We didn't take no handouts.
355
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,390
We took Texas by hook
or by crook
356
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:53,258
one county at a time.
357
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,350
That's my grandpappy
I'm talking about there, boy.
358
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:58,129
His grandpappy 'fore him.
359
00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:00,964
Soil Conservation Society
thinks they can tell us
360
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,703
how to farm our own land.
361
00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:04,664
Well, we've been doing that
for 120 years,
362
00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,312
thank you very much.
363
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:09,316
You're very welcome indeed,
sir.
364
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:12,749
I grew up on a 900-acre
spread out near Sonora.
365
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:15,577
It's all horizon
out there, boy.
366
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:17,756
Horizon, every direction.
367
00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,592
[chuckles]
368
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:22,240
This one time, me and my pappy,
we was leading 1,000 head
369
00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:24,675
through a dry gulch,
and we heard this noise.
370
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:27,162
What on Earth could that be?
371
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:29,773
Sounds a little like thunder.
372
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:31,644
Only it keeps rumbling.
373
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,336
And it ain't no thunder.
374
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:36,213
Turns out it'd been raining
up near Christoval.
375
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:40,476
Whoo-hoo, them gulches
ain't seen water in 100 years.
376
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:43,221
And I'm yelling,
"Pappy, you hearing this?"
377
00:16:43,263 --> 00:16:46,663
Suddenly, there's a longhorn
about 100 yards up.
378
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:49,101
He's met with a wall of water.
379
00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:51,398
[mimics water rushing]
You could feel it hit him.
380
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:54,005
Turned him flankside
like a linebacker.
381
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:57,016
And the wave is acting like
a cow catcher on the front
382
00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:59,629
of a train just collecting
all them steers.
383
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:02,200
[mimics water rushing]
384
00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:03,458
And it's coming for us.
385
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,240
Just a whole tumble fuck of--
386
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:08,235
♪ [Il Volo's "O Sole Mio"]
387
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:15,298
♪
388
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:28,997
MAN: ♪Che bella cosa ♪
389
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:34,138
♪Na jurnata 'e sole ♪
390
00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:39,063
♪N'aria serena doppo ♪
391
00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:43,411
♪Na tempesta ♪
392
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:47,593
♪Pe' ll'aria fresca ♪
393
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:52,981
♪Pare gia' na festa ♪
394
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:55,728
♪Che bella cosa ♪
395
00:17:55,770 --> 00:18:02,780
♪Na jurnata 'e sole ♪
396
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:10,352
Buongiorno. Buongiorno.
397
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:14,223
Un caffè, per favore, e un...
glass of water.
398
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:15,357
Si, signore.
399
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:17,838
Uh, the, um--
the building--the, uh--
400
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,049
What do you call it?
Uh...
401
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,488
edificio.
402
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:24,454
Who-- qui--
owns the building?
403
00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:26,114
The-- Scusi?
404
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:30,018
Uh, the proprietario
of the edificio.
405
00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:32,015
Un secondo. Giuseppe.
406
00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:35,975
[speaking Italian]
407
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,767
Proprietario.
That's it, that's it.
408
00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:39,812
[speaking Italian]
409
00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:41,337
May I help you, sir?
410
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,471
Ah. English.
411
00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:45,393
I want to know who owns
that building 'cause I need
412
00:18:45,428 --> 00:18:47,648
to requisition it on behalf
of the fighting men
413
00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:49,521
of the United States
of America.
414
00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:57,012
TEXAN: People of means,
decent folk,
415
00:18:57,048 --> 00:19:00,838
they deserve more votes than
drifters and whores--criminals.
416
00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:03,708
Degenerates, atheists.
They're indecent folk.
417
00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:05,621
You know,
people without means.
418
00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:07,406
You know what I'm saying?
419
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,320
Way I see it, there's only two
types of people in this world.
420
00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,535
People of means
and people without means.
421
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,405
You gotta get me
a private room.
422
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:15,016
I'm losing my mind.
423
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:18,026
This has become
a mental health issue now.
424
00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:19,249
What about that oath
that you take
425
00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,898
about not doing me any harm?
426
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:22,772
The Hippocratic oath?That's the one.
427
00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:23,993
That's just for doctors.
428
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:25,862
Oh, come on.
What do you say?
429
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:27,473
A little peace and quiet
would be
430
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:29,214
tremendously beneficial to me.
431
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,645
Don't push it.
432
00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:32,351
Lift your tongue.
433
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:34,218
TEXAN: One man,
one vote's poppycock.
434
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,520
But one man ain't always equal
to one other man.
435
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:37,696
That's just the way it is.
436
00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,181
That's the law of nature, man.
437
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:42,221
Some folks, it's just--
it's claws and disembowelment
438
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:43,398
from cradle to gra--
439
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:45,183
[plane engines rumbling]
440
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,837
[tires squealing]
441
00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,062
Now, with one new runway--
this one--
442
00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:56,796
you increase your overall
flight capacity
443
00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:58,197
to 162 per day.
444
00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,630
Additional?Correct, sir.
445
00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:01,416
Now, a second runway,
engineering-wise,
446
00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:02,511
it's a bigger job.
447
00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:04,899
We have to extend out here
past the spit.
448
00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:06,682
But if we do that, you're
gonna be able to siphon off
449
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:09,857
some of the heavier cargo
flights from runway one
450
00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:14,214
and that'll take you to 420
individual flights per week.
451
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,126
420?
452
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:18,431
No one on the other bases
come close to that.
453
00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:19,868
I don't think so, sir, no.
454
00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:24,271
This is a three-month
flow chart analyzing the cost
455
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:25,530
of the one runway
option versus--
456
00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:27,142
Oh, forget the one runway
option, Korn.
457
00:20:27,182 --> 00:20:28,182
Yes.Think big.
458
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,447
I thought so.
459
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:30,709
For God's sakes,
if I had a nickel for every
460
00:20:30,751 --> 00:20:32,491
small thought of yours,
I'd be the richest--
461
00:20:34,494 --> 00:20:37,674
What on God's green Earth
is that?
462
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:42,329
MILO: It's only me, sir.
463
00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:43,851
CATHCART: Who in the hell
are you?
464
00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:45,334
I'm Milo Minderbinder, sir.
465
00:20:45,374 --> 00:20:47,294
I'm the new Mess Officer.
You may have heard of me.
466
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,513
Do you realize these men
have orders to shoot to kill?
467
00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:51,122
Uh, we come...
468
00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:53,302
bearing tomatoes, sir.
469
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:54,949
You're gonna have to try this.
470
00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,478
Wait, wait.
471
00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:11,438
This is olive oil, sir.
472
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,707
The Italians use it
for everything.
473
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:15,010
[cork pops]
474
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,249
My God.
You get it?
475
00:21:34,205 --> 00:21:36,155
Korn, try one of these.
476
00:21:36,207 --> 00:21:37,557
[groans]
477
00:21:38,949 --> 00:21:40,819
Good God.
478
00:21:40,864 --> 00:21:42,524
♪ [Johnny Hodges' "Things
Ain't What They Used To Be"]
479
00:21:42,562 --> 00:21:45,092
They're selling for $3
a bale in London!
480
00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:48,389
That's a 550% markup!
481
00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:51,827
550? That's
an interesting number.
482
00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:54,695
You're saying that I'm buying
tomatoes off of you
483
00:21:54,748 --> 00:21:55,878
in this scenario?
484
00:21:55,923 --> 00:21:57,403
Well, what I'm actually
saying, sir,
485
00:21:57,446 --> 00:21:59,746
is that for you this time,
it's actually
486
00:21:59,796 --> 00:22:03,756
an infinity percent markup
because--because I'd like you
487
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,980
to have these tomatoes, sir,
to do with as you may!
488
00:22:07,021 --> 00:22:08,631
Well, that's very
generous of you,
489
00:22:08,675 --> 00:22:10,015
but I couldn't possibly
take all these tomato--
490
00:22:10,067 --> 00:22:11,807
And then, of course, in
the normal course of business,
491
00:22:11,852 --> 00:22:13,512
I could offer you
future shipments
492
00:22:13,549 --> 00:22:16,029
at very attractive rates,
almost at my cost, sir.
493
00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:18,163
So you'd be dropping
from infinity percent
494
00:22:18,206 --> 00:22:22,776
back to 500, 300, thereabouts,
should you wish to participate.
495
00:22:22,819 --> 00:22:24,729
Well, Milo--participate?
496
00:22:24,778 --> 00:22:26,648
Participate.
497
00:22:26,693 --> 00:22:29,003
Well, Milo, commerce
isn't exactly my bag.
498
00:22:29,043 --> 00:22:30,743
I've got a base to ru--Oh, you'd be a natural, sir.
499
00:22:30,784 --> 00:22:33,744
I got a good eye
for these things.
500
00:22:33,787 --> 00:22:37,487
I am planning on building
a couple runways out there,
501
00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:39,620
increase flight capacity,
all that jazz, but I'm not--
502
00:22:39,662 --> 00:22:41,102
Well, increased flight
capacity means
503
00:22:41,142 --> 00:22:43,752
increased profits for those
with the vision to see it.
504
00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:46,707
War is not about profit, son.Absolutely, sir.
505
00:22:46,756 --> 00:22:48,316
Not only.
506
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,147
War is about the just
defeating the unjust.
507
00:22:50,194 --> 00:22:53,684
It is absolutely that too,
sir.
508
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,420
What about you, son?
509
00:22:55,461 --> 00:22:57,991
Are you enjoying your missions?
510
00:22:58,028 --> 00:23:00,118
I'm proud to be doing
my bit, sir.
511
00:23:00,161 --> 00:23:03,561
Yes, indeed.
Thank you for asking.
512
00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:04,819
Good, good.
513
00:23:04,861 --> 00:23:06,121
Good, good.
514
00:23:11,346 --> 00:23:12,346
TEXAN: Are you
a Bill Bevens man?
515
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:14,221
Or are you
a Ralph Branca man? Hmm?
516
00:23:14,262 --> 00:23:15,872
Well, let's look
at this season.
517
00:23:15,916 --> 00:23:19,656
Bill Bevens has got an ERA
so far of 3.68.
518
00:23:19,702 --> 00:23:22,842
But his 1944 ERA was 2.67.
519
00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:23,969
So you gotta ask yourself,
520
00:23:24,011 --> 00:23:26,491
what happened to Bill Bevens
this year?
521
00:23:26,535 --> 00:23:28,185
Now, Ralph Branca,
his ERA's around 3,
522
00:23:28,232 --> 00:23:30,322
but you gotta remember
kid's 19, right?
523
00:23:30,365 --> 00:23:31,755
He's just gonna
keep getting better.
524
00:23:31,801 --> 00:23:33,321
And Bill Bevens, he's 28.
525
00:23:33,368 --> 00:23:34,938
That elbow's getting tired.
526
00:23:34,978 --> 00:23:36,718
So you're the Yankees' GM.
What are you gonna do?
527
00:23:36,763 --> 00:23:38,373
How often
you gonna relieve him?
528
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,157
Well, who do you got?
529
00:23:40,201 --> 00:23:42,461
You got Tiny Bonham,
you got Spud Chandler--
530
00:23:42,508 --> 00:23:44,808
He can't fucking hear you!
531
00:23:44,858 --> 00:23:46,818
We don't even know
if he's alive in there!
532
00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:48,120
I can hear you.I know you can, buddy.
533
00:23:48,165 --> 00:23:49,595
Do we all have to listen
to your bullshit?
534
00:23:49,645 --> 00:23:50,725
TEXAN: What's
your fucking problem?
535
00:23:50,777 --> 00:23:52,167
You!
You're my fucking problem!
536
00:23:52,213 --> 00:23:54,353
Me? What did I do?You won't shut up!
537
00:23:54,389 --> 00:23:56,699
I can't even hear myself think!
This is a fucking hospital!
538
00:23:56,739 --> 00:23:57,959
TEXAN: Yeah,
it's a fucking hospital.
539
00:23:58,001 --> 00:23:59,481
It's not a fucking library!
540
00:23:59,525 --> 00:24:01,475
I'm helping this fuck, man.
He's trapped in there.
541
00:24:01,527 --> 00:24:02,787
Where's your humanity?
542
00:24:02,832 --> 00:24:04,972
Oh, you're bringing him
out of his shell, are you?
543
00:24:05,008 --> 00:24:06,578
Come on, guys.Stay out of it, buddy.
544
00:24:06,619 --> 00:24:08,659
I just want
some peace and quiet.
545
00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:09,968
We all do.
546
00:24:10,013 --> 00:24:11,753
We're all just trying
to fucking convalesce here.
547
00:24:11,798 --> 00:24:14,448
Oh, okay, you've been elected
ward spokesman now,
548
00:24:14,496 --> 00:24:15,926
is that right, numb nuts?
549
00:24:15,976 --> 00:24:17,456
[clattering]
550
00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:18,849
You want a piece of me?Not really.
551
00:24:18,892 --> 00:24:20,422
Well, you're gonna get one.Okay, then.
552
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:21,629
Okay, then.
Great.
553
00:24:21,677 --> 00:24:22,637
Great.
554
00:24:22,678 --> 00:24:23,898
[both grunting]
555
00:24:23,940 --> 00:24:25,030
[clattering]
556
00:24:25,072 --> 00:24:26,682
[men shouting]YOSSARIAN: I'll kill ya!
557
00:24:26,726 --> 00:24:29,856
Hey, hey!
What is going on here?
558
00:24:29,903 --> 00:24:31,473
Hey! Knock it off!
559
00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:32,953
YOSSARIAN:
Ah, I'll kill you!
560
00:24:35,256 --> 00:24:37,516
That's it, Yossarian.
You're out of here!
561
00:24:40,914 --> 00:24:43,444
What?
562
00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:45,922
MAN: Son of a bitch!
Let's go!
563
00:24:45,962 --> 00:24:49,182
MAN: Yo-Yo, come on,
are we close yet?
564
00:24:49,226 --> 00:24:51,786
MAN: Yossarian, where we at?
565
00:24:51,838 --> 00:24:54,748
MAN: Clear, 053.
Closing in 3,200.
566
00:24:54,797 --> 00:24:56,757
[booming]
567
00:24:56,799 --> 00:24:57,889
MAN: You got fire.
Are you okay?
568
00:24:57,931 --> 00:24:59,321
MAN: Yo-Yo, we almost there?
569
00:24:59,367 --> 00:25:00,797
MAN: We're holding.
570
00:25:00,847 --> 00:25:02,497
MAN: Open them up!
Open them up!
571
00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:03,724
[rumbling]
572
00:25:03,763 --> 00:25:06,723
Fucking Christ.
Jesus fucking Christ.
573
00:25:06,766 --> 00:25:08,116
Jeez!
574
00:25:08,158 --> 00:25:10,638
Ooh, fuck!
Ooh, fuck!
575
00:25:10,683 --> 00:25:13,733
MAN: Yeah, we're coming up
on it now.
576
00:25:13,773 --> 00:25:16,343
All right, just hold steady
right there.
577
00:25:16,384 --> 00:25:18,134
MAN: We're over it now.
We gotta drop.
578
00:25:18,168 --> 00:25:19,388
Let's go.
Open them up.
579
00:25:19,430 --> 00:25:21,520
[dramatic music]
580
00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:22,873
Coming up on your left,
Yossarian.
581
00:25:22,912 --> 00:25:24,262
Are you holding steady?
582
00:25:24,305 --> 00:25:27,215
MAN: We're sitting right
on top of them, Yo-Yo!
583
00:25:27,264 --> 00:25:28,484
Yo-Yo!
584
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:29,657
Drop them, Yo-Yo!
585
00:25:29,702 --> 00:25:31,702
♪
586
00:25:31,747 --> 00:25:32,707
Release.
587
00:25:32,748 --> 00:25:35,008
[plane engines roaring]
588
00:25:35,055 --> 00:25:38,405
[booming]
589
00:25:38,449 --> 00:25:39,889
[bell dings]
590
00:25:39,929 --> 00:25:42,929
[motorcycle engine puttering]
591
00:25:47,807 --> 00:25:48,937
MAN: Now I push.
592
00:25:48,982 --> 00:25:50,682
MAN: Okay.Forget it.
593
00:25:50,723 --> 00:25:52,123
Fold, I'm out.
594
00:25:52,159 --> 00:25:53,769
What?Hey, you know,
it's funny.
595
00:25:53,813 --> 00:25:55,953
You would've thought I would've
been more of a problem, but...
596
00:25:55,989 --> 00:25:57,949
[all shouting]
597
00:25:57,991 --> 00:25:59,081
MAN: Come on.MAN: Not fair!
598
00:25:59,122 --> 00:26:01,302
MAN: Come on.
599
00:26:01,342 --> 00:26:03,172
Very nice.
Very clean.
600
00:26:03,213 --> 00:26:04,173
Bellissimo.
601
00:26:04,214 --> 00:26:06,224
Leave her alone, Aarfy.
602
00:26:06,260 --> 00:26:08,180
AARFY: I'm just saying,
she's very clean.
603
00:26:08,218 --> 00:26:09,868
What's your name, honey?
604
00:26:09,916 --> 00:26:12,786
Uh, what is it?
[speaking Italian]
605
00:26:12,832 --> 00:26:15,442
Um...
[speaking Italian]
606
00:26:15,486 --> 00:26:16,876
[speaking Italian]
607
00:26:16,923 --> 00:26:18,753
Michaela.
That's very nice.
608
00:26:18,794 --> 00:26:20,714
Me and you should go for a walk
sometime, Michaela.
609
00:26:20,753 --> 00:26:21,883
MICHAELA: Scusi?
610
00:26:21,928 --> 00:26:24,018
AARFY: We should go
for a walk sometime!
611
00:26:24,060 --> 00:26:25,890
You look like Bette Davis.
612
00:26:25,932 --> 00:26:28,112
Oh, give it a rest, Aarfy.
She doesn't understand you.
613
00:26:28,151 --> 00:26:29,591
[indistinct chatter]
614
00:26:29,631 --> 00:26:31,681
Gentlemen.
615
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:32,810
No, no, sit down.
616
00:26:34,941 --> 00:26:36,511
So how are we?
617
00:26:36,551 --> 00:26:39,731
Enjoying our rest and
recreation in the eternal city?
618
00:26:39,772 --> 00:26:41,472
SAMPSON: Oh, yes, sir.
We are, sir.
619
00:26:41,512 --> 00:26:44,692
Oh, what's on the dance card
for this evening?
620
00:26:44,733 --> 00:26:47,743
Uh, Nately lost his mind
to a woman of the night.
621
00:26:47,780 --> 00:26:50,350
[laughter]
622
00:26:51,261 --> 00:26:53,481
She's, like,
the most real person
623
00:26:53,524 --> 00:26:55,704
that I've ever met, Yo-Yo.
624
00:26:55,744 --> 00:26:58,834
She tries
to speak English.
625
00:26:58,878 --> 00:27:02,748
She gets the words wrong
and we laugh.
626
00:27:02,795 --> 00:27:05,745
We just laugh a lot.
627
00:27:05,798 --> 00:27:08,888
♪ [Rex Stuart's
"My Sunday Gal"]
628
00:27:08,931 --> 00:27:11,541
Yeah, we talked all night.
How does that happen?
629
00:27:11,586 --> 00:27:13,936
You know, I've got
this phrase book,
630
00:27:13,980 --> 00:27:15,590
but it's not like I'm looking
at the phrase book
631
00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:16,684
every two seconds.
632
00:27:16,722 --> 00:27:19,422
We just talk.
633
00:27:19,463 --> 00:27:21,073
You know,
it's some of her words.
634
00:27:21,117 --> 00:27:22,467
It's some of my words.
635
00:27:22,510 --> 00:27:26,910
We put them together, and somehow it all makes sense.
636
00:27:26,949 --> 00:27:29,129
We cuddle.
637
00:27:29,169 --> 00:27:30,739
We fuck, yeah.
638
00:27:30,779 --> 00:27:32,869
[laughs]
It's crazy.
639
00:27:32,912 --> 00:27:36,222
She's just, like,
a real person.
640
00:27:36,263 --> 00:27:43,313
♪
641
00:28:10,906 --> 00:28:13,036
MARCELLO: America will lose
the war, my friend.
642
00:28:13,082 --> 00:28:16,222
And Italy will win it.
643
00:28:16,259 --> 00:28:18,699
America is the strongest
644
00:28:18,740 --> 00:28:20,700
and most prosperous
nation on Earth,
645
00:28:20,742 --> 00:28:23,352
and the American fighting man
is second to none.
646
00:28:23,397 --> 00:28:26,227
Why do you think we are here
and the Germans are on the run?
647
00:28:26,269 --> 00:28:31,009
And Italy, on the other hand,
is one of the least prosperous
648
00:28:31,057 --> 00:28:32,837
nations on Earth.
649
00:28:32,885 --> 00:28:36,535
And the Italian fighting man
is probably second to all.
650
00:28:36,584 --> 00:28:40,024
And that's exactly why
my country is doing so well
651
00:28:40,066 --> 00:28:44,636
in this war while your country
is doing so poorly.
652
00:28:45,506 --> 00:28:47,596
The Germans have been
driven out now,
653
00:28:47,638 --> 00:28:50,338
as you so correctly observe.
654
00:28:50,380 --> 00:28:53,250
In a few months,
you will be gone too.
655
00:28:53,296 --> 00:28:55,516
And we will still be here.
656
00:28:55,559 --> 00:28:57,869
Oh, amen to that.
657
00:28:57,910 --> 00:29:03,180
You see, Italy is really
a very poor and weak country.
658
00:29:03,219 --> 00:29:07,219
And that's what makes us
so strong.
659
00:29:07,267 --> 00:29:09,567
Italian soldiers
are not dying anymore,
660
00:29:09,617 --> 00:29:12,617
but American and German
soldiers are, no?
661
00:29:12,663 --> 00:29:15,363
I call that
doing extremely well.
662
00:29:15,405 --> 00:29:16,885
[laughs]
663
00:29:16,929 --> 00:29:20,719
Italy will survive this war
and still be in existence
664
00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:24,679
long after your own country
has been destroyed.
665
00:29:25,459 --> 00:29:28,379
America is not
going to be destroyed.
666
00:29:29,115 --> 00:29:31,115
I wish for your sake
it were true.
667
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,030
For your beliefs.
668
00:29:33,075 --> 00:29:38,245
Because America is a very great
and noble idea.
669
00:29:38,298 --> 00:29:39,468
You're too right.
It is.
670
00:29:39,516 --> 00:29:41,296
Yeah, it's a wonderful idea.
671
00:29:41,344 --> 00:29:44,614
But Rome was destroyed.
Greece was destroyed.
672
00:29:44,652 --> 00:29:48,132
Persia was destroyed.
Spain was destroyed.
673
00:29:48,177 --> 00:29:52,307
All great empires
are destroyed.
674
00:29:52,355 --> 00:29:54,005
Why not yours?
675
00:29:54,053 --> 00:29:56,103
We are gonna survive
and triumph
676
00:29:56,142 --> 00:29:57,712
for a long, long time.
677
00:29:57,752 --> 00:29:59,152
[chuckles]
678
00:29:59,188 --> 00:30:01,578
You put so much stock
in winning.
679
00:30:01,625 --> 00:30:05,925
But listen, the real trick
is losing wars.
680
00:30:05,978 --> 00:30:08,198
Uh, in knowing which wars
can be lost.
681
00:30:08,241 --> 00:30:11,031
[laughs]You talk like a madman.
682
00:30:11,070 --> 00:30:13,860
But I live like a sane one.
683
00:30:13,899 --> 00:30:17,599
I was a fascist
when Mussolini was on top,
684
00:30:17,641 --> 00:30:22,211
and I am an anti-fascist
now he has been deposed.
685
00:30:22,255 --> 00:30:26,345
I was fanatically pro-German
when the Germans were here
686
00:30:26,389 --> 00:30:28,779
to protect us
against the Americans.
687
00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:31,127
And now the Americans
are here to protect us
688
00:30:31,177 --> 00:30:34,617
against the Germans,
I'm fanatically pro-American.
689
00:30:35,790 --> 00:30:38,140
I assure you
that you and your country
690
00:30:38,184 --> 00:30:42,544
will have no more loyal
partisan in Italy than me.
691
00:30:42,579 --> 00:30:45,369
But only for as long
as you remain.
692
00:30:47,410 --> 00:30:49,150
Don't you have
any principles?
693
00:30:49,195 --> 00:30:50,455
Of course not.
694
00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:51,890
CLEVINGER: No morality?
695
00:30:51,937 --> 00:30:56,417
Oh-ho, no.
I'm a very, very moral man.
696
00:30:56,463 --> 00:30:58,733
And you have good taste
in brandy.
697
00:31:00,423 --> 00:31:01,863
One does one's best.
698
00:31:01,903 --> 00:31:03,913
CLARA: Marcello.
699
00:31:10,346 --> 00:31:12,166
Yo-Yo, you gotta convince
her to stay with me.
700
00:31:12,218 --> 00:31:15,218
Just tell him to tell her
that I'm good for it.
701
00:31:15,264 --> 00:31:17,354
Or--or--or lend me some money.
How you doing for cash?
702
00:31:17,397 --> 00:31:20,357
I spent $640
on 32 hours straight.
703
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:21,580
How did I do that?
704
00:31:21,618 --> 00:31:22,918
Well, love did.
That's what love does.
705
00:31:22,968 --> 00:31:24,138
NATELY: What am I gonna do?
706
00:31:24,186 --> 00:31:25,316
YOSSARIAN: Didn't your dad
give you money?
707
00:31:25,361 --> 00:31:26,891
I love him.
Can you--can you--
708
00:31:26,928 --> 00:31:28,188
He did.
He gave me money.
709
00:31:28,234 --> 00:31:30,634
But that's already gone.
I mean, what have I done?
710
00:31:30,671 --> 00:31:32,371
Oh, 32 hours,
who knows?
711
00:31:32,412 --> 00:31:33,372
[laughter]
712
00:31:33,413 --> 00:31:34,593
Clarina.
Mm?
713
00:31:39,027 --> 00:31:41,507
MARCELLO: Oh.
What's your name?
714
00:31:41,551 --> 00:31:42,901
I'm Nately, sir.
715
00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:46,034
Nately...
because it's Sunday,
716
00:31:46,078 --> 00:31:48,038
because you--
you are a nice boy,
717
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:51,080
I give you two hours
because you make happy
718
00:31:51,126 --> 00:31:52,686
my little Clarina.
719
00:31:52,736 --> 00:31:55,216
Two hours?
W-we have--
720
00:31:55,261 --> 00:31:56,351
we have two hours?
721
00:31:56,392 --> 00:31:57,612
[laughs]
MARCELLO: Yeah.
722
00:31:57,654 --> 00:31:59,664
It's a gift
from the people of Italy.
723
00:31:59,700 --> 00:32:00,920
Go.
724
00:32:00,962 --> 00:32:02,402
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
725
00:32:03,617 --> 00:32:05,577
Eh, si.
Bye, bye, bye, bye.
726
00:32:05,619 --> 00:32:06,709
[laughs]Come on.
727
00:32:06,750 --> 00:32:07,930
MARCELLO: Bye.
728
00:32:09,405 --> 00:32:10,615
[both laugh]
729
00:32:10,667 --> 00:32:12,017
He won't need two hours.
730
00:32:12,060 --> 00:32:13,370
[both laugh]
731
00:32:25,291 --> 00:32:26,731
What have you got there?
732
00:32:34,169 --> 00:32:37,479
I, uh--
I don't speak Italian, honey.
733
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,650
What's, uh--
what's your name?
734
00:32:43,004 --> 00:32:45,054
Smoke. Smoke.
735
00:32:45,093 --> 00:32:46,403
Yeah, I'm--
I'm good for cigarettes.
736
00:32:46,442 --> 00:32:47,662
Thanks.
737
00:32:54,015 --> 00:32:55,315
I don't--
[chuckles]
738
00:32:55,364 --> 00:32:58,064
I don't--I don't speak--
what's--
739
00:32:58,106 --> 00:33:00,756
what's your--what's your name?
You?
740
00:33:00,804 --> 00:33:02,374
Your name.
741
00:33:02,415 --> 00:33:03,585
Ines.
742
00:33:03,633 --> 00:33:06,163
Ines.
Well, that's a beautiful name.
743
00:33:06,201 --> 00:33:07,991
You?
Me, I'm Yo-Yo.
744
00:33:08,029 --> 00:33:08,989
Yo-Yo.
745
00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:10,810
Yo-Yo.
Yo-Yo.
746
00:33:10,858 --> 00:33:12,728
Yo-Yo. [chuckles]
Yeah.
747
00:33:12,773 --> 00:33:14,863
Hey, Ines, where's, uh--
where's your mom and dad?
748
00:33:14,905 --> 00:33:16,255
Your, uh--your parents?
749
00:33:18,039 --> 00:33:20,219
Uh, okay.
750
00:33:20,259 --> 00:33:23,739
Well, how much for this?
751
00:33:23,784 --> 00:33:25,834
[speaking Italian]
752
00:33:25,873 --> 00:33:28,143
Lira?
753
00:33:28,180 --> 00:33:30,100
Good God, Ines.
754
00:33:30,138 --> 00:33:32,098
You're a tough operator.
755
00:33:32,140 --> 00:33:35,490
Uh, all right.
756
00:33:35,535 --> 00:33:38,275
Find a use for this,
I guess, somehow.
757
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:39,540
[laughs]
758
00:33:44,805 --> 00:33:47,585
All right, kid.
Thank you.
759
00:33:48,722 --> 00:33:53,212
Hey, uh, go home
to your, uh, parents or...
760
00:33:53,248 --> 00:33:55,118
yeah.
761
00:33:55,163 --> 00:33:57,083
All right, good, good.
762
00:33:57,122 --> 00:34:00,302
All right, fellas!
I hope you like dried herring.
763
00:34:00,342 --> 00:34:02,002
Hey, you going back
to Pianosa?
764
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,520
Can we hitch a ride?Where's yours?
765
00:34:03,563 --> 00:34:04,693
I dunno.
766
00:34:04,738 --> 00:34:05,828
That's what we're waiting
to find out.
767
00:34:05,869 --> 00:34:07,779
Well, mine's already full.
768
00:34:07,828 --> 00:34:09,568
You hear Cathcart's raised
the missions again?
769
00:34:09,612 --> 00:34:10,662
Huh?
770
00:34:10,700 --> 00:34:12,180
You mean last month,
to 35.
771
00:34:12,224 --> 00:34:14,144
No, I mean yesterday to 40.
772
00:34:14,182 --> 00:34:15,402
Are you serious?
773
00:34:15,444 --> 00:34:16,584
MILO: Oh, shit, guys.
774
00:34:16,619 --> 00:34:17,749
I thought you would have
already have heard.
775
00:34:17,794 --> 00:34:18,974
How would we have heard?
776
00:34:19,013 --> 00:34:22,503
[plane engines chopping]
777
00:34:22,538 --> 00:34:23,668
[bell dings]
778
00:34:23,713 --> 00:34:26,673
[dramatic music]
779
00:34:26,716 --> 00:34:33,766
♪
780
00:34:41,949 --> 00:34:44,209
NATELY: Hey, she's not a whore.MAN: She's not a whore.
781
00:34:44,256 --> 00:34:45,686
NATELY: I told you
not to call her that.
782
00:34:45,735 --> 00:34:47,085
MAN: No, she's a librarian.
783
00:34:47,128 --> 00:34:48,558
MAN: She takes money for sex.
784
00:34:48,608 --> 00:34:50,038
Nately, she's a whore.
785
00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:53,438
♪
786
00:34:53,482 --> 00:34:55,622
[tires squealing]
787
00:34:55,658 --> 00:35:02,708
♪
788
00:35:04,798 --> 00:35:07,058
YOSSARIAN: Am I supposed
to get my ass shot off
789
00:35:07,105 --> 00:35:08,885
because Cathcart wants
to become a general?
790
00:35:08,932 --> 00:35:10,152
What about the men
on the mainland?
791
00:35:10,195 --> 00:35:11,535
Our boys on the ground,
are they supposed to get
792
00:35:11,587 --> 00:35:13,887
their asses shot off just
because you don't want to fly?
793
00:35:13,937 --> 00:35:15,637
Those boys are entitled
to air support.
794
00:35:15,678 --> 00:35:18,198
Our boys on the ground.
Would you listen to yourself?
795
00:35:18,246 --> 00:35:20,206
Now you're even talking
like Cathcart.
796
00:35:20,248 --> 00:35:22,338
Yes, they're entitled
to our support.
797
00:35:22,381 --> 00:35:25,991
But not necessarily by me.
Not me specifically.
798
00:35:26,036 --> 00:35:28,516
The only reason we're still
flying is not for some--
799
00:35:28,561 --> 00:35:30,131
for some noble purpose.
800
00:35:30,171 --> 00:35:32,391
It's because that bastard
keeps raising our missions.
801
00:35:32,434 --> 00:35:34,524
Listen, you know very well
that I don't approve
802
00:35:34,567 --> 00:35:36,397
of Colonel Cathcart
any more than you do.
803
00:35:36,438 --> 00:35:38,698
But it is not for us
to determine what targets
804
00:35:38,745 --> 00:35:40,395
must be destroyed or who's
to destroy them or what's--
805
00:35:40,442 --> 00:35:42,102
Or who gets killed
doing them and why?
806
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:43,750
Yes, even that.
We have no right to question--
807
00:35:43,793 --> 00:35:45,323
Oh, you're insane.No right to question the--
808
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,010
Do you really mean that
it's none of my business
809
00:35:47,057 --> 00:35:49,927
how or why I get killed
and that it is Cathcart's?
810
00:35:49,973 --> 00:35:52,023
Do you really mean that?Yes, I do.
811
00:35:52,062 --> 00:35:53,722
There are men entrusted
with winning the war
812
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:55,460
who are in a much better
position than we are
813
00:35:55,501 --> 00:35:57,331
to decide what targets
have to be bombed
814
00:35:57,372 --> 00:35:59,072
and who has to do it.
815
00:35:59,113 --> 00:36:00,983
Okay, we're talking
about two different things.
816
00:36:01,028 --> 00:36:02,938
You're talking
about the relationship
817
00:36:02,986 --> 00:36:04,206
of the Air Corps
to the Infantry.
818
00:36:04,249 --> 00:36:05,639
Yeah.
819
00:36:05,685 --> 00:36:06,685
And I'm talking
about the relationship
820
00:36:06,729 --> 00:36:08,169
of me to Cathcart.
821
00:36:08,209 --> 00:36:10,119
You're talking
about winning the war.
822
00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:12,948
And I'm talking about winning
the war and keeping me alive.
823
00:36:12,996 --> 00:36:14,126
Exactly.
824
00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:15,612
And which do you think
is more important?
825
00:36:15,651 --> 00:36:17,781
What?
Open your eyes!
826
00:36:17,827 --> 00:36:20,217
Clevinger, it doesn't make
a damn bit of difference
827
00:36:20,265 --> 00:36:21,825
who wins the war
to someone who's dead.
828
00:36:21,875 --> 00:36:23,215
Congratulations.
829
00:36:23,268 --> 00:36:24,748
I can't think of another
attitude that could be
830
00:36:24,791 --> 00:36:27,661
depended upon to give
greater comfort to the enemy.
831
00:36:27,707 --> 00:36:30,927
The enemy is anybody
who's gonna get you killed
832
00:36:30,971 --> 00:36:33,801
no matter which side he's on,
and that includes Cathcart.
833
00:36:33,843 --> 00:36:35,723
And don't you forget that,
'cause the longer
834
00:36:35,758 --> 00:36:37,368
you remember it,
the longer you might live.
835
00:36:37,412 --> 00:36:39,372
I want to live.
Don't get me wrong.
836
00:36:39,414 --> 00:36:42,294
Then listen to me!
Listen to Yo-Yo!
837
00:36:42,330 --> 00:36:45,290
I continually give you
sound, lifesaving advice.
838
00:36:45,333 --> 00:36:46,993
I am helping you live.
839
00:36:47,030 --> 00:36:51,120
And you continue to recklessly
operate on fucking principle.
840
00:36:51,165 --> 00:36:52,725
To my dying day.
841
00:36:52,775 --> 00:36:55,515
[plane engines roaring]
842
00:36:58,825 --> 00:37:01,255
[car engine revving]
843
00:37:02,785 --> 00:37:06,525
♪ [Rosemary Clooney's
"No Love, No Nothin'"]
844
00:37:06,572 --> 00:37:11,322
CLOONEY:
♪ No love, no nothing
845
00:37:11,359 --> 00:37:12,879
♪
846
00:37:12,926 --> 00:37:16,966
♪ Until my baby comes home
847
00:37:17,017 --> 00:37:21,277
♪ No, sir, no nothing
848
00:37:21,326 --> 00:37:23,106
♪
849
00:37:23,153 --> 00:37:27,383
♪ As long as baby must roam
850
00:37:27,419 --> 00:37:32,339
♪ I promised him
I'd wait for him ♪
851
00:37:32,380 --> 00:37:37,040
♪ Till even Hades froze
852
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:41,960
♪ I'm lonesome, heaven knows
853
00:37:41,998 --> 00:37:46,918
♪ But what I said still goes
854
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:51,180
♪ No love, no nothing
855
00:37:51,225 --> 00:37:52,915
♪
856
00:37:52,966 --> 00:37:56,666
♪ And that's a promise
I'll keep ♪
857
00:37:56,709 --> 00:38:01,149
♪ No fun with no one
858
00:38:01,191 --> 00:38:02,801
♪
859
00:38:02,845 --> 00:38:06,755
♪ I'm getting
plenty of sleep ♪
860
00:38:06,806 --> 00:38:11,766
♪ My heart's on strike
and though it's like ♪
861
00:38:11,811 --> 00:38:15,121
♪ An empty honeycomb
862
00:38:15,162 --> 00:38:16,342
♪
863
00:38:16,381 --> 00:38:20,121
♪ No love, no, sir,
no nothing ♪
864
00:38:20,167 --> 00:38:22,867
♪ Till my baby comes home
865
00:38:22,909 --> 00:38:29,959
♪
866
00:38:34,399 --> 00:38:35,879
[water splashes]
867
00:38:35,922 --> 00:38:42,972
♪
868
00:38:59,772 --> 00:39:03,382
[plane engines roaring]
869
00:39:03,428 --> 00:39:05,778
And we buy
from this syndicate?
870
00:39:05,821 --> 00:39:07,691
Yes, the fundamental
principle is,
871
00:39:07,736 --> 00:39:09,036
everybody has a share.
872
00:39:09,085 --> 00:39:11,165
And it's that mass purchasing
power that makes
873
00:39:11,218 --> 00:39:13,698
the big difference.
For example, lamb chops.
874
00:39:13,742 --> 00:39:15,182
I heard about
those lamb chops.
875
00:39:15,222 --> 00:39:16,882
Oh, then you'll have
heard they're the best
876
00:39:16,919 --> 00:39:18,229
the black market has to offer.
877
00:39:18,268 --> 00:39:20,748
They're going
for a song in Scotland.
878
00:39:20,793 --> 00:39:22,363
I can't send a plane
to Scotland.
879
00:39:22,403 --> 00:39:23,753
I don't have the authority
for that.
880
00:39:23,796 --> 00:39:25,886
I can if you lend me a plane.
881
00:39:25,928 --> 00:39:27,668
And then, colonel,
there's Polish sausage
882
00:39:27,713 --> 00:39:30,543
that goes for peanuts
in Cracow.
883
00:39:30,585 --> 00:39:33,675
Cracow's hundreds of miles
behind enemy lines.
884
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:35,109
How would you get
to the sausage?
885
00:39:35,155 --> 00:39:37,235
There's an international
Polish sausage exchange
886
00:39:37,287 --> 00:39:38,417
in Geneva.
887
00:39:38,463 --> 00:39:40,733
I'll just fly the peanuts
into Switzerland
888
00:39:40,769 --> 00:39:42,339
and exchange them
for Polish sausage
889
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:43,730
at the open market rate.
890
00:39:43,772 --> 00:39:45,602
They'll fly the peanuts
back to Cracow.
891
00:39:45,644 --> 00:39:47,564
I'll fly the Polish sausage
back to you.
892
00:39:47,602 --> 00:39:49,602
You buy only as much
Polish sausage as you want
893
00:39:49,648 --> 00:39:50,648
from the syndicate.
894
00:39:50,692 --> 00:39:52,482
There will be
the tangerines too.
895
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,610
And eggs from Malta
and scotch from Sicily.
896
00:39:54,653 --> 00:39:56,003
You'll be paying the money
to yourself
897
00:39:56,045 --> 00:39:57,955
from the syndicate
since you'll own a share.
898
00:39:58,004 --> 00:40:00,534
So really you'll be getting
everything you buy for nothing.
899
00:40:01,921 --> 00:40:03,141
Doesn't that make sense?
900
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,840
[plane engines rumbling]
901
00:40:17,763 --> 00:40:20,553
So you're helping the boys
on the ground after all.
902
00:40:23,595 --> 00:40:26,025
Helping the boys
on the ground.
903
00:40:26,075 --> 00:40:28,895
CLEVINGER: Good for you, Yo-Yo. Good for you.
904
00:40:30,297 --> 00:40:34,517
♪ Yankee Doodle went to town
905
00:40:34,562 --> 00:40:39,182
♪ Riding on a pony
906
00:40:39,219 --> 00:40:43,749
♪ Stuck a feather in his cap
907
00:40:43,789 --> 00:40:48,359
♪ And called it macaroni
908
00:40:48,402 --> 00:40:50,012
♪ Yankee Doodle
909
00:40:50,056 --> 00:40:52,666
♪ Keep it up
910
00:40:52,711 --> 00:40:56,541
♪ Yankee Doodle dandy
911
00:40:56,584 --> 00:40:59,374
♪ Mind the music
and the step ♪
912
00:40:59,413 --> 00:41:00,983
YOSSARIAN: And...
913
00:41:01,023 --> 00:41:02,113
CLEVINGER:
♪ And with the girls
914
00:41:02,155 --> 00:41:04,935
Bombs away. CLEVINGER: ♪ Be handy
915
00:41:04,984 --> 00:41:08,734
♪ Yankee Doodle is a tune
916
00:41:08,770 --> 00:41:13,040
♪ That comes in mighty handy
917
00:41:13,079 --> 00:41:16,909
♪ The enemy all runs away at
918
00:41:16,952 --> 00:41:19,092
♪ Ya--
919
00:41:19,128 --> 00:41:21,698
[booming]
920
00:41:21,740 --> 00:41:23,520
MCWATT: That's it
for another day, gentlemen.
921
00:41:23,568 --> 00:41:24,608
We are heading home.
922
00:41:24,656 --> 00:41:27,086
We are out of here,
"Laden Maiden."
923
00:41:27,136 --> 00:41:30,136
[plane engine rumbling]
924
00:41:33,882 --> 00:41:36,802
[dramatic music]
925
00:41:36,842 --> 00:41:39,762
♪
926
00:41:39,801 --> 00:41:41,321
Did you hear something,
McWatt?
927
00:41:41,368 --> 00:41:43,938
MCWATT: Did I hear what?
928
00:41:43,979 --> 00:41:45,849
Are you getting
"Laden Maiden"?
929
00:41:45,894 --> 00:41:47,814
[static hissing]
930
00:41:47,853 --> 00:41:49,383
MCWATT: Clevinger?
931
00:41:49,419 --> 00:41:51,679
Hey, Clevinger?
You there, buddy?
932
00:41:51,726 --> 00:41:53,596
♪
933
00:41:53,641 --> 00:41:55,251
I think it's just the radio.
934
00:41:55,295 --> 00:42:00,465
♪
935
00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:02,298
Hey, has "Laden Maiden"
landed?What?
936
00:42:02,345 --> 00:42:05,215
Has "Laden Maiden" come back?I don't know, sir.
937
00:42:05,261 --> 00:42:08,181
♪
938
00:42:08,221 --> 00:42:09,701
YOSSARIAN:
Did "Laden Maiden" land?
939
00:42:09,744 --> 00:42:12,574
This is tower to Army,
7499.
940
00:42:12,617 --> 00:42:14,527
Are you receiving? Over.
941
00:42:14,575 --> 00:42:16,355
♪
942
00:42:16,403 --> 00:42:19,363
This is tower to Army, 7499.
943
00:42:19,406 --> 00:42:20,626
Are you receiving? Over.
944
00:42:20,668 --> 00:42:23,408
♪
945
00:42:23,453 --> 00:42:26,853
This is tower to Army, 7499.
946
00:42:26,892 --> 00:42:28,632
Are you receiving? Over.
947
00:42:28,676 --> 00:42:30,976
♪
948
00:42:31,026 --> 00:42:33,896
This is tower to Army, 7499.
949
00:42:33,942 --> 00:42:35,512
Are you receiving? Over.
950
00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:42,563
♪
951
00:43:00,708 --> 00:43:03,098
CHAPLAIN: Still no news
on Clevinger?
952
00:43:05,539 --> 00:43:07,889
Nothing.
953
00:43:07,933 --> 00:43:10,723
It's 36 hours now.
954
00:43:10,762 --> 00:43:12,592
He's on
the Missing in Action list.
955
00:43:14,940 --> 00:43:15,980
It's official.
956
00:43:19,074 --> 00:43:20,424
That's no good.
957
00:43:23,209 --> 00:43:26,079
You were with him in Santa Ana?
958
00:43:26,125 --> 00:43:27,645
Yeah, we went through
the whole thing.
959
00:43:29,258 --> 00:43:30,608
Clevinger was...
960
00:43:32,958 --> 00:43:35,828
He was just good.
961
00:43:35,874 --> 00:43:37,094
Basically.
962
00:43:49,496 --> 00:43:51,496
CATHCART: Bologna, gentlemen.
963
00:43:51,541 --> 00:43:54,591
This is where the rubber
hits the road.
964
00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:57,772
Enemy artillery are here,
here, and here.
965
00:43:57,809 --> 00:44:00,159
But our raiders are not
getting to them
966
00:44:00,202 --> 00:44:04,552
because they're being torn
to shreds both here, here,
967
00:44:04,598 --> 00:44:06,558
and here.
968
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,340
Our guess is,
there are Howitzers
969
00:44:08,384 --> 00:44:11,174
based in those cave systems.
970
00:44:11,213 --> 00:44:17,663
Here, here, and, uh,
eh, somewhere around there.
971
00:44:17,698 --> 00:44:19,218
Very difficult to pinpoint
a target.
972
00:44:19,265 --> 00:44:21,005
It's basically a hole
in the ground,
973
00:44:21,049 --> 00:44:23,049
as you men well know.
974
00:44:23,791 --> 00:44:28,011
Now...some of you
will not be coming back.
975
00:44:30,885 --> 00:44:32,885
There's no other way
of telling you that.
976
00:44:32,931 --> 00:44:37,241
Just basic statistics
tell us that.
977
00:44:37,283 --> 00:44:41,773
So if any of you should find
yourself on the wrong side
978
00:44:41,809 --> 00:44:44,459
of the statistics--and at the
risk of stating the obvious--
979
00:44:44,507 --> 00:44:48,287
I would like to point out
that your sacrifice will not
980
00:44:48,337 --> 00:44:50,297
have been in vain.
981
00:44:50,339 --> 00:44:55,339
And if, in your final moments,
you see death
982
00:44:55,388 --> 00:44:57,868
coming for you,
think not of death.
983
00:44:57,912 --> 00:45:01,522
Think of the living.
And know this.
984
00:45:01,568 --> 00:45:03,828
God damn it,
the 27th Air Corps Division
985
00:45:03,875 --> 00:45:06,395
thanks you for your sacrifice,
gentlemen.
986
00:45:06,442 --> 00:45:09,492
[breathing heavily]
987
00:45:12,274 --> 00:45:15,194
♪ [The Mound City Blue Blowers' "I've Got My Fingers Crossed"]
988
00:45:15,234 --> 00:45:22,244
♪
989
00:45:22,284 --> 00:45:25,244
MAN: ♪ I've got
my fingers crossed ♪
990
00:45:25,287 --> 00:45:27,857
♪ Not that I'm superstitious
991
00:45:27,899 --> 00:45:30,639
♪ I'm afraid it's too good
to be true ♪
992
00:45:30,684 --> 00:45:32,994
[whistling]
993
00:45:33,034 --> 00:45:35,434
♪ I've got
my fingers crossed ♪
994
00:45:35,471 --> 00:45:38,081
♪ No wonder I'm suspicious
995
00:45:38,126 --> 00:45:43,176
♪ I'm so gay
and skies are much too blue ♪
996
00:45:43,218 --> 00:45:48,178
♪ Don't want no trouble
with Old Man Trouble ♪
997
00:45:48,223 --> 00:45:50,273
♪ And that goes double
998
00:45:50,312 --> 00:45:52,362
♪ On account of
because I'm in love ♪
999
00:45:52,401 --> 00:45:55,451
♪ Why certainly I've got
my fingers crossed ♪
1000
00:45:55,491 --> 00:45:58,231
MAN: ♪ Oh, yeah MAN: ♪ The thrill
is so delicious ♪
1001
00:45:58,277 --> 00:46:01,237
♪ I'm afraid
it's too good to be true ♪
1002
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:08,330
♪
1003
00:46:48,762 --> 00:46:50,202
MAN: ♪ Oh, sure
1004
00:46:50,242 --> 00:46:57,292
♪
71008
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