Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,393 --> 00:00:03,613
[sirens blaring]
2
00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:05,309
[breathing heavily]
3
00:00:05,396 --> 00:00:07,216
MAN: Hey, can somebody
help me here?
4
00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:09,401
Help him! Help him!
5
00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:10,787
Oh, shit!
6
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,450
[dramatic music]
7
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:15,234
[multiple voices
shouting indistinctly]
8
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,099
♪ ♪
9
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:20,631
[shouting continues]
10
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:22,536
[gunfire, sirens blaring]
11
00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:26,901
[shouting continues,
sirens blaring]
12
00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:29,943
♪ ♪
13
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,510
MAN: Don't worry.
I'm turning--
14
00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:34,506
[multiple voices
shouting indistinctly]
15
00:00:34,599 --> 00:00:38,209
♪ ♪
16
00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:39,779
MAN: There's something wrong
with the plane!
17
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:41,555
[airplane engines roaring]
18
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,870
♪ ♪
19
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:45,736
MAN: Man, just
got to keep going.
20
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,528
MAN 2: So you're helping the
boys on the ground after all.
21
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:50,052
MAN 3: I hope you die!MAN 4: Got to jump, Yossarian!
22
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,877
YOSSARIAN:
No, come back!
23
00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:52,884
MAN 4: I'm right behind you.
I've got to get it out...
24
00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:54,265
[screams]
25
00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,878
SCHEISSKOPF: You goddamn
spastics think I'm gonna let
26
00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:02,801
you prance around here like
a Busby Berkeley chorus line,
27
00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:04,978
then you've got another
think coming to you.
28
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:08,365
I make you practice marching
more than any other squadron
29
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:09,589
so you'll be better
for the Sunday parades,
30
00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:10,848
and what happens?
31
00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:11,940
We look worse.
32
00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:12,938
SCHEISSKOPF: You look worse.
33
00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:14,599
Just meet me halfway.
34
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:16,553
Don't I always meet you
more than halfway?
35
00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:18,251
That may be why we
never meet at all.
36
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,260
Is it my fault?
37
00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:25,353
Is any of this my fault?
I want to be told.
38
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,783
I won't punish the man
who tells me the truth.
39
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:29,610
I swear.Oh, yes, he will.
40
00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:33,008
I would be thankful to the man
who tells me the truth.
41
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,183
Why can you not walk
a straight line?
42
00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:37,269
Why can you not turn
a 90-degree angle
43
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:39,008
after 11 weeks?
44
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:42,539
Why do you not seem to care
that we are nine days
45
00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:45,894
from the Inter-Squadron
Parade Jamboree?
46
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:48,975
What the fuck
are you staring at?
47
00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:53,195
SCHEISSKOPF: How can we
finally, finally--I beg you--
48
00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:56,027
find a way of getting
this thing right?
49
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,326
I actually know
the answer to this.
50
00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:59,121
No, you don't.Oh, my God, Clevinger.
51
00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:00,336
No, really, I was looking
at the parade manual...
52
00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:01,904
Shut up.
53
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:03,601
About breaking us into
smaller groups to start.
54
00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:05,818
You really need to shut up.And the $100 question--
55
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:08,518
why is it so hard to restrict
the swing of your arms
56
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,736
to a maximum seven-inch
lateral pendulum arc
57
00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:13,256
with a maximum four-inch
distance from wrist to thigh?
58
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,220
Peele, if you please!
59
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,530
Seven-inch lateral
pendulum arc,
60
00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:21,447
four-inch distance
wrist to thigh.
61
00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:24,012
Thank you, Peele!Yes, sir!
62
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,100
Why is that so hard?
63
00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:30,059
Why is that so hard?
64
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,070
Seven-inch swing,
four-inch gap.
65
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,763
Then we look tight.
66
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,811
Then we look fierce.
67
00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:41,856
Then we stand out from all the
goddamn free-swinging arms
68
00:02:41,944 --> 00:02:43,954
that seem to be the goddamn
fashion these days.
69
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:47,913
Then we win the goddamn pennant
because your goddamn hands
70
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,953
ought never move more than
three and a half inches
71
00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,819
in either direction,
north or south,
72
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,650
from the center of your thigh!
73
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:55,998
But apparently we're all
a bunch of mongoloids.
74
00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:57,828
He's talking about you,
Clevinger.
75
00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,396
Reprobates!
76
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:05,101
And I've been staying up
at night.
77
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,225
I've been saying to myself...
78
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:11,668
"How are we gonna win
this thing, boys?"
79
00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:13,796
And you know what'd do it?
80
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:16,019
I got a friend
in the sheet-metal shop,
81
00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:17,978
and he'd make me little pegs
of nickel alloy,
82
00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:20,547
and I could sink each one
of them into your thigh bones
83
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,675
and connect it to your wrists
with strands of copper wire
84
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,507
with exactly three
and a half inches of play,
85
00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:27,025
because apparently we're all
a bunch of pansies!
86
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:33,077
So I'm asking you,
somebody tell me,
87
00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:36,609
what is it
that I am doing wrong?
88
00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:38,614
Somebody, anybody tell me,
89
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:41,656
where have I failed?
90
00:03:41,743 --> 00:03:43,573
No, it's
a rhetorical question.
91
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:46,308
Sir!He--
92
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,100
Soldier?Jesus Christ.
93
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:51,055
Well, sir, I've actually been
thinking about this.
94
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:53,583
And, you see, I think
it's quite a simple solution.
95
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,098
What's your name, soldier?
96
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:56,541
Clevinger, sir.
97
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:59,017
Air Corps Cadet
Timothy Clyde Clevinger.
98
00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:00,808
So I was thinking,
the problem lies
99
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:02,502
in the relationship
between the synchronization
100
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,030
of the whole unit
and synchronization
101
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,553
of the individual lines,
you see?
102
00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:07,116
You start small
rather than big,
103
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:08,943
you divide the unit
into practice groups,
104
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,901
say six to ten men, well,
it's just human nature
105
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:13,639
to take in information more
concretely in smaller groups.
106
00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:15,691
So, sir, I would
suggest your error--
107
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,337
Clevinger,
stop fucking talk--
108
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:20,301
♪ [Glenn Miller's
"Tuxedo Junction"]
109
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:21,910
♪ ♪
110
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,660
YOSSARIAN: This group small
enough for you?
111
00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:26,922
CLEVINGER: I still can't
understand it.
112
00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:29,005
What is there to understand?
113
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:30,974
They hate you.
114
00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:33,063
They hate you before
you got here.
115
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,882
They hate you
while you're here,
116
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:37,580
and they're gonna keep on
hating you after you leave.
117
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:40,108
♪ ♪
118
00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:41,542
I'm sorry, buddy.
119
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:44,849
♪ ♪
120
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:47,846
[airplane engines
roaring overhead]
121
00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:54,949
♪ ♪
122
00:04:57,993 --> 00:05:00,653
MAN OVER RADIO: As the lead
bombardier in the squadron,
123
00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:03,295
everyone else is following
your cues.
124
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:07,390
So, with this practice run,
set your sighting angle
125
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:08,791
to 70 degrees.
126
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:12,143
[airplane engine rumbling]
127
00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:16,274
Now, clutch in, turn
your rate and motor switch on.
128
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:20,969
The rate and motor runs
within five RPMs
129
00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:22,579
of the chosen speed.
130
00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:24,190
Here they come, Nately.
It's the Red Baron.
131
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,540
Take him down.
[mimics gunfire]
132
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:29,200
MAN: You know what's
happening to your rate index?
133
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:33,285
You're trying to find just one
point on that scale.
134
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,066
But watch the indices.
135
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,030
That's the only way you keep
track of where you are.
136
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,599
So get in the habit now.
137
00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:44,256
So, you're lined up.
What's next?
138
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,874
Open bomb bay doors.
139
00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:47,564
Okay, go ahead.
140
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:49,091
YOSSARIAN:
Opening bomb bay doors.
141
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:50,574
[wind howling]
142
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:52,834
[airplane engines roaring]
143
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,787
MAN: Level carefully
so you can keep
144
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,306
the vertical reference line.
145
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:59,749
Every calculation
must be precise.
146
00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:02,097
And next?
147
00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:03,537
Bombs away?
148
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:05,284
Correct.
149
00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:08,979
Bombs away.
150
00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:11,854
[wind howling]
151
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:20,028
[airplane engines roaring]
152
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:24,378
[man and woman laughing]
153
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:25,431
WOMAN: Whoo!
154
00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:27,515
[laughter continues]
155
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:28,654
[grunts]
156
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,296
[laughing]
157
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:34,090
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
158
00:06:34,176 --> 00:06:36,396
[both laughing]
159
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,963
[both breathing heavily]
160
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:40,660
YOSSARIAN: You know, I bet
I could name two things
161
00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:42,308
to be miserable about
for every one you can name
162
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,752
to be thankful for.
163
00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:46,278
MARION: Mmm, be thankful
you're healthy.
164
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:48,152
YOSSARIAN: Be bitter you're
not gonna stay that way.
165
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:49,763
Be glad you're even alive.
166
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,114
YOSSARIAN: Be furious
how you're gonna die.
167
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:52,853
MARION: Things could
be much worse.
168
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:54,814
Yeah, well, things could be
one hell of a lot better.
169
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:56,242
You're naming only one thing.
You said you could name two.
170
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,418
Mmm.
And don't tell me that God
171
00:06:58,505 --> 00:06:59,845
works in mysterious ways.
172
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,331
There's nothing
mysterious about it.
173
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,681
He's not working at all.
174
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,730
You know, He's playing.Mm-hmm.
175
00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:06,375
Or else He's forgotten
all about us.
176
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,729
He is a brainless,
conceited hayseed.
177
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,519
[laughs]I mean, how mu--
178
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:12,484
how much reverence can you have
for a supreme being
179
00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:14,912
who finds it necessary to rob
old people of the power
180
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:17,309
to control their
bowel movements, hmm?
181
00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:18,483
Why the hell did
He create pain?
182
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:20,048
Pain is useful.
183
00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:22,215
Pain is a warning to us
of bodily dangers.
184
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:23,971
And who created the dangers?
185
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:25,662
Yeah, He was certainly being--
He was certainly being
186
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:27,529
charitable when
He gave us pain.
187
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:30,191
Why couldn't He have used
a-a doorbell to let us know?
188
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:31,625
[both laughing]
189
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:34,242
Or one of--Or one of His
celestial choirs?
190
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:36,243
You know, when you think
about the chance that He had
191
00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:38,065
to do something good,
and then you look at the stupid
192
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,763
ugly mess that He made
of it instead,
193
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,500
His incompetence is staggering.
194
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,071
Better be careful
what you say about Him, honey.
195
00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:44,458
He might punish you.
196
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,071
Like He doesn't
punish me already.
197
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:47,681
Mm-hmm.
198
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,471
You know, one day
I'm gonna make Him pay.
199
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:52,686
One day I'm gonna grab
that little yokel by His neck.
200
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,736
You're gonna be
in so much trouble.
201
00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:57,522
[laughing]
202
00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:59,167
I thought you didn't
believe in God.
203
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:00,831
I don't.
204
00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:03,565
But the God I don't believe in
is a good God.
205
00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:07,227
Not the mean and stupid God
you make Him out to be.
206
00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:08,972
I'm not making Him out
to be anything.
207
00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:11,583
Mm-hmm.I'm just reporting the facts.
208
00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:16,021
[laughs]
209
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:24,238
♪ [Jan Garber Orchestra's
"Apache Dance" playing]
210
00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:27,249
MAN: [laughs]MAN 2: Take it easy, McWatt.
211
00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:29,382
Get in the goddamn bunk.
It's almost lights out.
212
00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:30,985
Hey, what time's the parade
drill tomorrow?
213
00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:32,635
0600.DUNBAR: Fuck, great.
214
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,989
Fucking meaningless.They have a meaning.
215
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:36,729
YOSSARIAN: They're meaningless.That's not true, Yo-Yo.
216
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,170
YOSSARIAN: Tell me one thing
217
00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:39,516
that's not meaningless
about parades.
218
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:40,996
Discipline, chain of command,
219
00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:43,565
working together as a unit,
geometry.
220
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,663
DUNBAR: Bullshit, Clevinger.Yo-Yo, you're right.
221
00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:46,962
There ain't one thing
he can name.
222
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:48,438
MAN: Lights out!
223
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,878
Cohesion.
224
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:51,014
Now you're just
repeating yourself.
225
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:52,135
CLEVINGER: No, I'm not.
226
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,787
No, you're out of your mind.
227
00:08:53,881 --> 00:08:55,191
Parades aren't designed
to teach us anything.
228
00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:56,933
They're designed
to humiliate us.
229
00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:59,234
They're designed to make us
suffer the indignity
230
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:01,321
of doing something
entirely pointless
231
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,110
so that sadistic fuck
Scheisskopf
232
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,814
can demonstrate
he has power over us,
233
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:08,332
'cause apparently that's how
sadists get their kicks.
234
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:10,157
The more pointless
the activity,
235
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:12,545
the greater our humiliation,
and the more power he feels.
236
00:09:12,639 --> 00:09:15,469
And we can sit here and pretend
all we want that there must be
237
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,725
some more noble
war-effort-type purpose
238
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:20,038
to all this walking around
in fucking rectangles,
239
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:21,874
but there isn't one.
240
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:24,522
We do parades so Scheisskopf
can feel like a tough guy.
241
00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:26,087
That's what parades are for.
242
00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:28,484
DUNBAR: Yeah, that's
what parades are for.
243
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,958
They disgust me.
244
00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:32,527
Make me feel sick
in the stomach.
245
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,965
Yeah, me too, buddy.
Sick...
246
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,876
in my stomach.
247
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,236
DANEEKA: Feel this?
YOSSARIAN: Yeah.
248
00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:47,203
Ah, God, that hurts.DANEEKA: Mmm, how about here?
249
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:48,722
YOSSARIAN: Ah, yeah.
250
00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:50,235
DANEEKA: And what
about when I tap here?
251
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,028
How does that feel?YOSSARIAN: Ooh, rough.
252
00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:54,163
DANEEKA: How does this feel?
YOSSARIAN: Mm, it hurts.
253
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:55,725
DANEEKA: And here?
YOSSARIAN: [groans]
254
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,382
DANEEKA: What about this?
YOSSARIAN: [groans]
255
00:09:57,466 --> 00:09:59,206
DANEEKA: And how about here?
YOSSARIAN: [groans]
256
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:00,774
DANEEKA: Here?
YOSSARIAN: [groans]
257
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:02,211
DANEEKA: When I tap here?[groans]
258
00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:03,817
DANEEKA: Mm-hmm.
259
00:10:03,907 --> 00:10:05,207
There's nothing wrong
with your appendix.
260
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,820
Are you sure?
261
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,090
Next time say
it's your liver.
262
00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:09,222
Something wrong
with your liver,
263
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:10,704
I can keep you here for weeks.
264
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,444
There's something
wrong with my liver.
265
00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:14,184
Nice try. There's nothing
wrong with your liver.
266
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:16,785
That shows how much
you don't know.
267
00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:19,007
So how does a doctor
end up here, anyway?
268
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:21,266
Did you sign up for this shit?
269
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:23,319
Why aren't you off somewhere
doing regular doctoring?
270
00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:25,055
Believe me,
I don't want to be here.
271
00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:26,836
I examined myself
pretty thoroughly
272
00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,630
and found that I was unfit
for service.
273
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:31,105
Now, you'd think my word
would be enough, but, no.
274
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,235
They send some guy from the
draft board to look me over.
275
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:35,198
Starts disputing my Four-F.
276
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:37,066
You know, John, we live in a--
in an age
277
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,028
of deteriorating
spiritual values.
278
00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:42,026
It's really a--it's a terrible
thing when--when even the word
279
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:44,429
of a licensed small-town
physician is questioned
280
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,433
by the country he loves.
281
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:48,465
What's a Four-F?I just told you--
282
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,040
it's my fitness
for military service.
283
00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:52,828
I can't do these goddamn
parades, Doc.
284
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:54,653
They're gonna kill me.Parades never killed anyone.
285
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,311
YOSSARIAN: I bet they have.Not many.
286
00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:58,094
Come on, Doc.DANEEKA: I'll tell you what.
287
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:00,959
I'll help you out when I know
it can do you some good.
288
00:11:01,051 --> 00:11:04,361
In the meantime,
choose your battles.
289
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:06,746
Parades are the least
of your worries.
290
00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,935
[sighs]
291
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:23,554
♪ ["The U.S. Air Force"
playing]
292
00:11:23,639 --> 00:11:26,419
[man shouting indistinctly]
293
00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:33,561
♪ ♪
294
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:43,310
[man continues shouting]
295
00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:50,448
♪ ♪
296
00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:56,317
[man continues shouting]
297
00:11:56,411 --> 00:12:02,111
♪ ♪
298
00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:10,245
[militaristic percussion]
299
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:17,348
♪ ♪
300
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:27,660
Hey.
301
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:33,667
♪ ♪
302
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,705
[whispering]
Clevinger, are you okay?
303
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:42,370
♪ ♪
304
00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:43,717
Hey.
305
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:46,326
♪ ♪
306
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,897
Clevinger.
307
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,294
[people gasp]
308
00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:50,987
PEELE: Stumbling
without authority,
309
00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:53,254
breaking formation
while in formation,
310
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:55,817
indiscriminate behavior,
mopery,
311
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,205
provoking--
312
00:12:57,298 --> 00:12:58,908
Do you want me
to keep going, sir?
313
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:02,385
And his friend?Uh, that'd be, uh--
314
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:04,737
That'd be aiding and abetting
all of the above, sir.
315
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,517
As to these charges,
how do you plead?
316
00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:07,921
Not guilty.
317
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:11,234
And what makes you
think we care?
318
00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:12,662
You're here because
you're trouble
319
00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:14,708
and nobody likes trouble.
Do you?
320
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,844
Do I like trouble?You think this is funny?
321
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,836
In 60 days, you're gonna
be fighting the Hun,
322
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,578
and you think this
is a big, fat joke?
323
00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:22,019
I don't think it's a joke--Don't interrupt me.
324
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:23,585
And say "sir" when you do.Yes, sir.
325
00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:24,672
Didn't I just tell you
not to interrupt me?
326
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,460
But I didn't interrupt, sir.
327
00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:28,244
Are you
mentally retarded, son?
328
00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:29,809
No, sir.
I'm just innocent.
329
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,326
I'm innocent
until proven guilty.
330
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:32,509
Says who?Everyone, sir.
331
00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:33,774
The Bill of Rights.Yeah.
332
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,246
The Declaration
of Independence.
333
00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:36,726
You believe all that crap?Yes, sir.
334
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,636
I'm a free citizen
in a free country--
335
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,300
You are nothing of the kind.
You are a prisoner at my dock.
336
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:42,044
So you stand here,
and you keep your mouth shut!
337
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,165
Yes, sir!
338
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,392
Now, what did you mean
339
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:50,048
when you said
that we couldn't punish you?
340
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,613
When, sir?I'm asking the questions.
341
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,220
You're answering them.CLEVINGER: Yes, sir.
342
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:54,400
SCHEISSKOPFF:
You think we brought you here
343
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:55,695
so that you could ask me
questions
344
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,451
and I would answer them?No, sir.
345
00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,102
Then what the hell did you
mean when you said
346
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,616
that we could not punish you?I'm sorry, sir.
347
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:02,189
I never said that you
couldn't punish me.
348
00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:03,836
Now you're telling us
when you did say it.
349
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,410
I'm asking you to tell us
when you didn't say it.
350
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:07,016
When didn't you say
we couldn't punish you?
351
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:08,497
I always didn't say you
couldn't punish me.
352
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:10,066
That a bare-faced lie!
353
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,763
You whispered
that we couldn't punish you
354
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,371
to that dumb son of a bitch
standing right there!
355
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:14,681
Oh, no, sir,
I whispered to him
356
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:15,636
that you couldn't
find me guilty.
357
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:17,074
Well, I must be stupid,
358
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,640
because the distinction
escapes me!
359
00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:19,677
You're a windy son of a bitch,
aren't you?
360
00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:21,211
No, sir.No, sir?
361
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:22,375
You're calling me a liar now?No, sir.
362
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,860
No, what, sir?No, what--
363
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,820
No, what?What, sir?
364
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:31,310
Read me back the last line."Read me back the last line."
365
00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:33,522
Not my last line.
Somebody else's.
366
00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:37,828
"Read me back the last line."That's my last line again.
367
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,700
Oh, no, sir.
That's my last line.
368
00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,751
I read it to you just
a moment ago.
369
00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:43,357
[grunts]
370
00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:46,357
♪ [Tommy Dorsey's
"Song of India"]
371
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,890
♪ ♪
372
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,715
[breathing heavily]
373
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:52,722
I'm sorry, buddy.
374
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:56,114
♪ ♪
375
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:58,679
MARION: Do you sleep with me
because you like me
376
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:01,117
or because you hate my husband?
377
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,474
[chuckles]
378
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:05,773
A bit of both.[chuckles] Hmm.
379
00:15:05,861 --> 00:15:08,041
I could ask you
the same question.
380
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:12,354
Mm, you know,
I'd say you're not allowed
381
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:14,913
to hate him so much.
382
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,791
You should leave that to me.
383
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:19,573
Besides, you're
leaving tomorrow.
384
00:15:19,657 --> 00:15:21,877
You'll never have
to see him again.
385
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,144
You know why I joined
the Air Corp?
386
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:28,189
Mm-mm.
387
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:30,185
'Cause I knew that I'd be
dragged into this shit
388
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:32,107
one way or another.
389
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,322
And I knew that bomber crews
required more training
390
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:35,981
than anybody else
in the military,
391
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:39,585
so I just figured war
would be over
392
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:41,897
by the time my training
finished. [scoffs]
393
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:44,074
Well, that was
wishful thinking, hon.
394
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,860
Mm.
395
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,685
Yeah, I'm beginning to realize
I may have been wrong.
396
00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:53,260
[distant explosions]
397
00:15:53,343 --> 00:15:55,743
[dramatic music]
398
00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:57,704
[airplane engines roaring]
399
00:15:57,782 --> 00:15:59,702
[booming]
400
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:03,054
[men shouting indistinctly
over radio]
401
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:05,696
♪ ♪
402
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,490
All right, time to target?
403
00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:09,525
MAN OVER RADIO: 30 seconds
to the run, 30 seconds.
404
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,230
Compression.
405
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:13,148
MAN OVER RADIO: All right,
pay attention, boys.
406
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:16,113
MAN 2 OVER RADIO: Okay, steady.
Hold steady!
407
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:18,722
Holding steady,
three-four-nine.
408
00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:20,763
Three-four-nine
at 9,000 feet.
409
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:22,419
MAN OVER RADIO: Roger that,
holding at 9,000.
410
00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:23,903
MAN 2 OVER RADIO: Yossarian,
we're approaching.
411
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,423
Are you on a steady heading?
412
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:27,986
YOSSARIAN: Yes, I'm
on a steady heading.
413
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:29,554
MAN: We're getting hammered
back here!
414
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:30,950
MAN 2: "Yankee Doodle,"
what's your status?
415
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,643
YOSSARIAN:
Opening bomb bay doors.
416
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:33,950
MAN: Let's go.
Open them up.
417
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,556
Open them up!
418
00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:37,606
MAN 2: Hey, McWatt,
reading at oh-four-two,
419
00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:39,092
holding at 5,000.
420
00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:41,042
MCWATT:
Oh-four-two at 5,000.
421
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,870
MAN OVER RADIO: They're gonna
have to get up a little higher.
422
00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:45,659
Let's just hold it steady
right there.
423
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,443
[booming]
424
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:49,788
MAN: How we looking here?
We're holding.
425
00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:51,528
MAN: Come on, let's drop them!
Just drop them!
426
00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:52,969
Here we go.
427
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,185
MAN: Adjusting for drift,
three degrees.
428
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:57,145
MAN 2: Three degrees,
roger that.
429
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:58,673
MAN 3: On your left!
430
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:00,146
MAN 4: Oh, it's too strong!
431
00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:01,756
[shouting indistinctly]
432
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:03,846
MAN 5: How do I know?
I can't see anything!
433
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,845
[rattling]
434
00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:07,807
We almost there, Yo-Yo?
435
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,936
Steady.
436
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,820
Closing in on target,
fellas.
437
00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,252
[gunfire]
438
00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:16,948
Holy fuck!
439
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,596
MAN OVER RADIO: Yo-Yo, come on.
Where are they?
440
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:20,389
Holding steady.
441
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:22,084
MAN OVER RADIO: Can you hurry
the fuck up up there?
442
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:23,911
We're dying back here!Holding...
443
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:25,779
MAN OVER RADIO: Come on!And...
444
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,660
MAN: Drop them already, Yo-Yo.
MAN 2: Let's go! Drop them!
445
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,742
Bombs away!
446
00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:33,051
[suspenseful music]
447
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,879
MAN: They're away!
They're away!
448
00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:36,836
And we're off!YOSSARIAN: All right!
449
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:38,225
Over to you, McWatt!
Get us out of here!
450
00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:39,928
We're done!
451
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:43,015
MCWATT: All right, getting us
out of this shit.
452
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:44,185
MAN OVER RADIO: We're still
getting strikes!
453
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,370
We got to go!
454
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:47,195
Jesus Christ!
455
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:48,683
MAN: You all right up there?
456
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:50,853
McWatt, are you okay?
457
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:52,379
Fuck.
458
00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:54,512
MAN: We got you, we got you.
You're okay.
459
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:57,945
♪ ♪
460
00:17:58,033 --> 00:18:01,083
[groaning]
461
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:03,427
♪ ♪
462
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:05,077
Christ.
463
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:06,741
Oh, Christ.
464
00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:17,917
MAN: ♪ A buzzard took a monkey
for a ride in the air ♪
465
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:20,139
♪ The monkey thought that
everything was on the square ♪
466
00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:23,099
♪ The buzzard tried to throw
the monkey off of his back ♪
467
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:26,499
♪ The monkey grabbed his neck
and said, "Now listen, Jack" ♪
468
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:28,373
CHORUS: ♪ Straighten up
and fly right ♪
469
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:29,795
♪ ♪
470
00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:31,551
♪ Straighten up
and fly right ♪
471
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:32,982
♪ ♪
472
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:35,378
♪ Straighten up
and fly right ♪
473
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:39,122
♪ Cool down, papa,
don't you blow your top ♪
474
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:42,025
♪ Ain't no use in diving ♪
475
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:45,121
♪ What's the use of jiving? ♪
476
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,781
♪ Straighten up
and fly right ♪
477
00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:50,605
♪ Cool down, papa,
don't you blow your top ♪
478
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:54,094
MAN: ♪ The buzzard told the
monkey, "You are choking me ♪
479
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:57,006
♪ Release your hold,
and I will set you free" ♪
480
00:18:57,092 --> 00:18:58,662
♪ The monkey looked
the buzzard ♪
481
00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:00,356
♪ Right dead
in the eye and said ♪
482
00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:02,053
♪ "Your story's so touching ♪
483
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,191
♪ But it sounds
just like a lie" ♪
484
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:06,973
CHORUS: ♪ Straighten up
and fly right ♪
485
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:09,838
♪ Straighten up
and stay right ♪
486
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:12,721
♪ Straighten up and
fly right ♪
487
00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:15,553
♪ Cool down, papa,
don't you blow your top ♪
488
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:22,642
♪ ♪
489
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,337
[bell dings]
490
00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:32,206
♪ ♪
491
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:35,521
[indistinct radio chatter]
492
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:38,569
♪ Straighten up
and fly right ♪
493
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:41,655
♪ Straighten up and
fly right ♪
494
00:19:41,745 --> 00:19:44,615
♪ Straighten up
and fly right ♪
495
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:47,225
♪ Cool down, papa,
don't you blow your top ♪
496
00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:49,056
[airplane engines
roaring overhead]
497
00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,414
MAN: It is time to support
the war effort.
498
00:19:51,494 --> 00:19:53,064
Buy war bonds.
499
00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:54,848
Buy them
until we turn back Tojo
500
00:19:54,932 --> 00:19:57,282
and there's a white flag
over Japan.
501
00:19:57,370 --> 00:19:59,500
And what's more,
keep those bonds.
502
00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:01,549
Hold them for your future.
503
00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:03,155
This is Ed Davey signing off.
504
00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:05,855
CHORUS: ♪ Straighten up
and fly right ♪
505
00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:09,473
♪ Straighten up
and stay right ♪
506
00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:11,816
♪ Straighten up
and fly right ♪
507
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:15,686
♪ Cool down, papa,
don't you blow your top ♪
508
00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:17,259
♪ ♪
509
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:19,166
♪ Fly right ♪
510
00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:26,572
Hey.How'd it go?
511
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,880
Oh, we took some flak.
512
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:31,796
I bet you did.
513
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:33,582
Fellas, hi.
514
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:36,667
This is Mudd. Henry Mudd.
He's your new bunkmate.
515
00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:38,277
I think there's
been a mistake.
516
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:39,847
I think there's been
a mistake.
517
00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:41,244
I'm fairly certain
there's been a mistake.
518
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,677
Well, it says
right here he's--
519
00:20:43,764 --> 00:20:46,984
Well, he's bunking down
with you and Orr.
520
00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:50,381
Right, well,
I'll leave you men to it.
521
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,506
Hey, Milo.MILO: Hi, Reverend!
522
00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:53,899
Yo-Yo.
523
00:20:53,991 --> 00:20:55,951
Oh, hi.
I'm Milo Minderbinder.
524
00:20:56,037 --> 00:20:57,907
YOSSARIAN: This is Mudd.Henry Mudd.
525
00:20:57,995 --> 00:21:02,125
Well, Henry, you've arrived
at precisely the right time.
526
00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:03,867
I'd say there's plenty more
where these came from,
527
00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,388
but there isn't.
528
00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:07,091
That's how special
these two are to me.
529
00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:08,618
Oh.Go on. Take a few.
530
00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:11,402
Now we're talking.MILO: You too, Henry.
531
00:21:14,925 --> 00:21:17,005
Come on, one for later.
532
00:21:19,582 --> 00:21:21,112
Beautiful.
533
00:21:21,192 --> 00:21:23,112
All right, gentlemen,
I'm doing the rounds.
534
00:21:23,194 --> 00:21:27,164
If anyone asks,
these are going two for a dime.
535
00:21:27,242 --> 00:21:29,592
Good to meet you,
Henry Mudd.
536
00:21:35,206 --> 00:21:36,816
You can drop your bags.
537
00:21:52,528 --> 00:21:56,178
Uh, they told me to check in
at the administration tent.
538
00:21:56,271 --> 00:21:58,011
YOSSARIAN: Well, that's what
you should do, then.
539
00:21:58,099 --> 00:22:00,229
Do you know where it is?
540
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,059
Well, you follow
this path up here,
541
00:22:02,146 --> 00:22:03,926
and when you hit the latrines,
you take a left,
542
00:22:04,018 --> 00:22:06,408
and the Administrations is
the second tent on the right.
543
00:22:06,499 --> 00:22:08,499
Thanks.
544
00:22:08,588 --> 00:22:10,288
I'll be right back.
545
00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:11,372
Yeah.
546
00:22:17,945 --> 00:22:21,635
Great.
That's fucking great.
547
00:22:25,039 --> 00:22:27,819
Oh, fuck.
Third tent!
548
00:22:27,911 --> 00:22:30,441
It's the third tent
on the right!
549
00:22:35,876 --> 00:22:37,396
[groans]
550
00:22:37,486 --> 00:22:40,486
[indistinct chatter]
551
00:22:56,331 --> 00:22:58,201
KORN: All right, I want you
to pay particular attention
552
00:22:58,289 --> 00:22:59,939
to this right here.
553
00:23:00,030 --> 00:23:02,250
The heaviest flak is supported
right here and here.
554
00:23:02,337 --> 00:23:05,037
Yes?MUDD: Sir, I'm here to report--
555
00:23:05,122 --> 00:23:07,082
Are you the gunner?MUDD: I'm a gunner, yes, sir.
556
00:23:07,168 --> 00:23:08,778
Crosby, your
tail gunner's here!
557
00:23:08,865 --> 00:23:10,685
Hurry up, then!
We're going up in four minutes!
558
00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:13,390
Now, this has been cleared
last week as another squadron--
559
00:23:13,479 --> 00:23:16,089
Uh, sir, I'm a side gunner,
not a--I don't--
560
00:23:16,177 --> 00:23:18,307
Go, go, go!Yes, sir.
561
00:23:24,098 --> 00:23:27,448
[jazz music]
562
00:23:27,536 --> 00:23:34,496
♪ ♪
563
00:24:24,332 --> 00:24:25,992
YOSSARIAN: What?
DUNBAR: Knife?
564
00:24:26,073 --> 00:24:27,553
YOSSARIAN: I'm not your mother,
Dunbar, but here.
565
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,380
[indistinct chatter]
566
00:24:42,916 --> 00:24:44,956
What's your name?
567
00:24:45,048 --> 00:24:47,398
Major.
568
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:50,616
You're not a major.No, no. That's my name.
569
00:24:50,706 --> 00:24:52,666
Well, I'm not
calling you Major.
570
00:24:52,752 --> 00:24:55,102
What's your Christian name?Major. It--it's Major.
571
00:24:55,189 --> 00:24:56,579
No, your--your
Christian name.
572
00:24:56,669 --> 00:24:58,279
He means
what's your first name.
573
00:24:58,366 --> 00:25:00,666
That's what I'm saying.
My first name is Major, too.
574
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,890
You're kidding me.[laughs] You serious?
575
00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:05,590
It's a funny story.
576
00:25:05,678 --> 00:25:07,378
My--my mother was rather
exhausted from giving birth
577
00:25:07,462 --> 00:25:08,992
to me--
she had lost a lot of blood.
578
00:25:09,072 --> 00:25:11,602
Uh, my father filled in
the forms.
579
00:25:11,684 --> 00:25:14,164
And he calls you Major?It's my middle name, too.
580
00:25:14,251 --> 00:25:15,691
DUNBAR: Let me get this right.
581
00:25:15,775 --> 00:25:18,945
Your father named you
Major Major Major?
582
00:25:19,039 --> 00:25:21,169
He came back into the ward,
and he said to my mother,
583
00:25:21,258 --> 00:25:23,128
"I've named him Caleb in
accordance with your wishes."
584
00:25:23,217 --> 00:25:25,957
But--but he was lying.[laughs]
585
00:25:26,046 --> 00:25:28,046
You're Sergeant
Major Major Major?
586
00:25:28,135 --> 00:25:30,565
Uh, yeah.
I've--I've made peace with it.
587
00:25:30,659 --> 00:25:32,439
Tell me this.
Have you had a tough life?
588
00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:34,451
[laughs]
589
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:36,803
You can call me Caleb.
Even just Cal would be okay.
590
00:25:36,883 --> 00:25:38,283
DUNBAR: Hey, fellas!
591
00:25:38,362 --> 00:25:41,982
This guy's name
is Major Major Major.
592
00:25:42,062 --> 00:25:45,022
[laughter]
593
00:25:49,373 --> 00:25:52,423
[indistinct chatter]
594
00:25:54,291 --> 00:25:57,641
Sir.[chatter fades]
595
00:26:07,087 --> 00:26:09,087
[liquid sloshing]
596
00:26:12,483 --> 00:26:15,183
What is this nonsense?It's meat, sir...
597
00:26:15,269 --> 00:26:18,099
and vegetables, I think.
598
00:26:18,185 --> 00:26:20,925
God, abominable.
599
00:26:21,014 --> 00:26:24,024
I will have sardines
on toast in my tent.
600
00:26:24,104 --> 00:26:25,674
Of course, sir.
601
00:26:27,890 --> 00:26:29,850
ORR: Did you hear about
that plane this afternoon?
602
00:26:29,936 --> 00:26:31,416
YOSSARIAN: What plane?
603
00:26:31,502 --> 00:26:33,982
That plane went down
that the kid was on.
604
00:26:34,070 --> 00:26:36,460
What kid?Mudd.
605
00:26:36,551 --> 00:26:39,691
Who's Mudd?The kid from our tent.
606
00:26:41,991 --> 00:26:43,211
Oh, shit.
607
00:26:43,297 --> 00:26:44,557
He didn't even
unpack his kit.
608
00:26:44,646 --> 00:26:47,036
[dramatic music]
609
00:26:47,127 --> 00:26:49,907
He went down?He's gone.
610
00:26:49,999 --> 00:26:51,349
Done and dusted.
611
00:26:51,435 --> 00:26:55,785
♪ ♪
612
00:26:55,875 --> 00:26:57,215
Poor guy.
613
00:26:57,311 --> 00:27:04,361
♪ ♪
614
00:27:24,773 --> 00:27:27,693
[laughter]
615
00:27:27,776 --> 00:27:30,426
♪ ♪
616
00:27:30,518 --> 00:27:31,948
[laughter]
617
00:27:32,041 --> 00:27:33,261
Oh![whoosh]
618
00:27:33,347 --> 00:27:34,737
[all shouting]
619
00:27:34,827 --> 00:27:37,217
MAN: Oh, fuck!
There goes the hot water.
620
00:27:37,307 --> 00:27:38,567
MAN 2: Oh!
621
00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,527
♪ ♪
622
00:27:40,615 --> 00:27:43,565
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, it's,
uh--it's a type of oil valve.
623
00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:45,532
I actually know how
to modify that.
624
00:27:45,620 --> 00:27:48,540
♪ ♪
625
00:27:48,623 --> 00:27:51,583
[indistinct chatter]
626
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:58,200
♪ ♪
627
00:27:59,634 --> 00:28:02,334
I'm not sure I can
take this shit.
628
00:28:02,419 --> 00:28:05,809
DUNBAR: A little cold water
never hurt nobody, Yo-Yo.
629
00:28:05,901 --> 00:28:07,601
No, I can't fly
more missions.
630
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:09,336
CLEVINGER: We're winning
this thing, Yossarian.
631
00:28:09,426 --> 00:28:11,166
You've already flown
16 missions.
632
00:28:11,254 --> 00:28:12,784
25 and we can go home.
633
00:28:12,865 --> 00:28:14,865
Yeah, I can't do nine more.
634
00:28:14,954 --> 00:28:16,434
NATELY: Well, we're
winning this war.
635
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:17,910
That's what they say, anyways.
636
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,790
You know, Rome
is about to fall,
637
00:28:19,872 --> 00:28:21,352
and the Germans are toast.
638
00:28:21,438 --> 00:28:22,918
The Germans are toast.
Exactly.
639
00:28:23,005 --> 00:28:25,265
No more planes.
Ground troops only.
640
00:28:25,355 --> 00:28:26,965
And they're all retreating.
641
00:28:27,053 --> 00:28:28,793
So why the hell are we
still flying missions?
642
00:28:28,881 --> 00:28:30,271
'Cause we got to--
we got to polish them off.
643
00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:32,190
YOSSARIAN: Well,
you can polish them off.
644
00:28:32,275 --> 00:28:35,235
I don't want to be the one
who dies showing them the door.
645
00:28:49,989 --> 00:28:51,159
YOSSARIAN: There's something
wrong with my liver.
646
00:28:51,251 --> 00:28:52,601
DUCKETT: What's wrong with it?
647
00:28:52,687 --> 00:28:54,117
Well, it hurts.Where does it hurt?
648
00:28:54,210 --> 00:28:55,390
In my liver.Will you show me exactly?
649
00:28:55,472 --> 00:28:57,042
Uh...
650
00:28:58,562 --> 00:29:00,702
That's not your liver.YOSSARIAN: Are you sure?
651
00:29:03,350 --> 00:29:05,090
Well, well, well...
652
00:29:05,178 --> 00:29:06,958
YOSSARIAN: Doc!Let me guess.
653
00:29:07,049 --> 00:29:08,489
Liver?
654
00:29:08,572 --> 00:29:10,362
Thank you, Sue Anne.
655
00:29:10,444 --> 00:29:11,714
Do I need to call the priest?What are you doing here?
656
00:29:11,793 --> 00:29:13,193
I asked myself
the same question.
657
00:29:13,273 --> 00:29:15,013
I go where they tell me to go.
658
00:29:15,101 --> 00:29:17,411
So...
659
00:29:17,494 --> 00:29:18,844
are you actually
sick this time?
660
00:29:18,931 --> 00:29:20,371
I feel sick.Yeah, but are you sick?
661
00:29:20,454 --> 00:29:21,504
I honestly feel sick.So do I.
662
00:29:21,585 --> 00:29:23,365
But that doesn't mean I am.
663
00:29:23,457 --> 00:29:26,457
Look, I've flown 16 missions.
The mission quota's 25.
664
00:29:26,547 --> 00:29:29,027
I have nine left to fly.
They're entirely pointless.
665
00:29:29,115 --> 00:29:31,065
I mean, the Germans
are on the run, right?
666
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,210
So I figure I just wait
it out in here,
667
00:29:33,293 --> 00:29:35,123
if that's okay with you.
668
00:29:35,208 --> 00:29:37,168
So the Germans fold, and then
what do you think happens?
669
00:29:37,253 --> 00:29:39,213
Then I go home.
670
00:29:39,299 --> 00:29:41,079
You do realize we're fighting
a war in the Pacific right now?
671
00:29:41,170 --> 00:29:42,960
And as soon as Europe is done,
if you haven't already been
672
00:29:43,042 --> 00:29:44,742
formally discharged,
they're gonna ship you
673
00:29:44,826 --> 00:29:48,256
straight out there, and you
do not want to go there.
674
00:29:48,351 --> 00:29:50,051
They got malaria there.
Yeah.
675
00:29:50,136 --> 00:29:51,876
They got fungus.
They got two kinds of fungus.
676
00:29:51,964 --> 00:29:54,494
They got a fungus that gets
in your brain and eats it.
677
00:29:54,575 --> 00:29:56,265
They got parasites.
They got leeches.
678
00:29:56,359 --> 00:29:59,099
I'd fly your nine missions,
if I was you.
679
00:30:03,279 --> 00:30:06,149
♪ [Johnny Hodges'
"Good Queen Bess"]
680
00:30:06,239 --> 00:30:13,249
♪ ♪
681
00:30:15,335 --> 00:30:18,335
[indistinct chatter]
682
00:30:22,037 --> 00:30:29,037
♪ ♪
683
00:30:30,089 --> 00:30:33,569
Hello, sir?[knocks on door]
684
00:30:33,657 --> 00:30:34,917
Major de Coverley, sir?
685
00:30:35,007 --> 00:30:38,397
[metallic clanking]
686
00:30:40,882 --> 00:30:44,582
[Jeep engines revving]
687
00:30:44,668 --> 00:30:47,538
[classical music playing]
688
00:30:47,628 --> 00:30:54,678
♪ ♪
689
00:30:58,247 --> 00:31:00,077
[horseshoe clinks]
690
00:31:00,162 --> 00:31:03,252
♪ ♪
691
00:31:03,339 --> 00:31:04,779
Hello, sir.
692
00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:06,823
♪ ♪
693
00:31:06,908 --> 00:31:08,558
Sorry to interrupt, sir.
694
00:31:08,649 --> 00:31:11,389
But I think you're gonna
want to see this.
695
00:31:11,478 --> 00:31:17,568
♪ ♪
696
00:31:17,658 --> 00:31:20,568
What?
Where'd you get these?
697
00:31:20,661 --> 00:31:23,321
From the highlands
of Scotland, sir.
698
00:31:23,403 --> 00:31:25,323
♪ ♪
699
00:31:25,405 --> 00:31:27,185
Is that so?Yes, sir.
700
00:31:27,276 --> 00:31:28,966
These are highland lamb chops.
701
00:31:29,061 --> 00:31:34,021
♪ ♪
702
00:31:34,109 --> 00:31:36,849
These lambs--oh, they're fed
on the richest,
703
00:31:36,938 --> 00:31:39,458
greenest clover in all
of Great Britain all day long.
704
00:31:39,549 --> 00:31:42,199
I have a friend
at the RAF base in Donibristle
705
00:31:42,291 --> 00:31:44,251
who manages to clear
a little space for an icebox
706
00:31:44,337 --> 00:31:45,727
on one of the courier planes.
707
00:31:45,816 --> 00:31:47,686
I could have these
for you every week, sir.
708
00:31:47,775 --> 00:31:49,335
Donibristle.
709
00:31:49,429 --> 00:31:52,519
Sunday lamb chops,
we could call them.
710
00:31:52,606 --> 00:31:54,346
Walk with me.
711
00:31:54,434 --> 00:31:56,704
♪ ♪
712
00:31:56,784 --> 00:31:58,834
MILO: They're not the easiest
things to come by.
713
00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:00,607
If our friend in Scotland
is sending us a steady supply
714
00:32:00,701 --> 00:32:02,271
of lamb chops--Okay.
715
00:32:02,355 --> 00:32:04,095
Give me another one of these.Of course, sir.
716
00:32:04,183 --> 00:32:05,623
If our friend in Scotland
is sending us a steady supply
717
00:32:05,706 --> 00:32:07,226
of lamb chops,
718
00:32:07,316 --> 00:32:08,666
I really should be giving
him something in return.
719
00:32:08,752 --> 00:32:10,752
Now, don't get me wrong.
He's a lovely man.
720
00:32:10,841 --> 00:32:12,581
But the lamb chop situation--
721
00:32:12,669 --> 00:32:15,629
[airplane engines
roaring overhead]
722
00:32:15,716 --> 00:32:18,406
As we all know, sir,
ours is a mercantile world.
723
00:32:18,501 --> 00:32:19,981
It's a world of give and take.
724
00:32:20,068 --> 00:32:21,638
Our friend in Scotland,
for instance,
725
00:32:21,722 --> 00:32:24,252
has a fondness for Sicilian
olives, which I can get.
726
00:32:24,333 --> 00:32:26,603
Now, if I was Mess Officer,
I'd have control
727
00:32:26,683 --> 00:32:28,343
of the flight manifests
of the cargo planes--
728
00:32:28,424 --> 00:32:29,774
the outgoings,
the incomings,
729
00:32:29,860 --> 00:32:31,730
and so on and so forth.
730
00:32:31,819 --> 00:32:33,599
Our friend in Scotland would be
happy in the northern mists
731
00:32:33,690 --> 00:32:35,040
with his olives.
732
00:32:35,127 --> 00:32:37,167
You'd be happy
with your lamb chops.
733
00:32:37,259 --> 00:32:40,049
I could devote my full
attention to such matters,
734
00:32:40,132 --> 00:32:42,182
and it's not just Donibristle
we're talking about.
735
00:32:42,264 --> 00:32:44,924
Do you like strudel, sir?
736
00:32:45,006 --> 00:32:46,786
Everybody likes strudel, son.
737
00:32:46,877 --> 00:32:48,487
That's exactly right, sir.
738
00:32:48,575 --> 00:32:50,875
And when was the last time
you had strudel, sir?
739
00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:52,539
Not recently.Me neither.
740
00:32:52,622 --> 00:32:53,802
I miss it.I miss it, too.
741
00:32:53,884 --> 00:32:54,974
As do I.Me too.
742
00:32:55,060 --> 00:32:56,410
Well, it needn't be this way.
743
00:32:56,496 --> 00:32:58,406
We shouldn't have
to miss strudel, sir.
744
00:32:58,498 --> 00:33:01,278
If I was Mess Officer,
I could fix it.
745
00:33:01,370 --> 00:33:02,980
What's your name, son?
746
00:33:03,068 --> 00:33:06,328
I'm Milo Minderbinder, sir.
I'm 27 years old.
747
00:33:06,419 --> 00:33:09,289
♪ [Benny Goodman's
"Sing, Sing, Sing"]
748
00:33:09,378 --> 00:33:16,388
♪ ♪
749
00:33:27,701 --> 00:33:32,311
[engines rumbling]
750
00:33:32,401 --> 00:33:39,411
♪ ♪
751
00:33:53,901 --> 00:33:55,771
MAN OVER RADIO:
Clear sailing today, fellas.
752
00:33:55,859 --> 00:33:57,559
MAN 2 OVER RADIO:
Like a day in the country.
753
00:33:57,644 --> 00:33:59,254
Clear skies up ahead.
754
00:33:59,341 --> 00:34:01,001
Beautiful day
for a milk run, boys.
755
00:34:01,082 --> 00:34:03,082
MAN OVER RADIO: Blue skies.
Cloud nine.
756
00:34:03,171 --> 00:34:04,741
Holding steady
at two-four-eight.
757
00:34:04,825 --> 00:34:08,085
Two-four-eight,
70,200.
758
00:34:08,176 --> 00:34:09,826
MAN: Got to be on top of it.
Where we at?
759
00:34:09,917 --> 00:34:12,957
MAN 2: Closing in on target.
30 seconds to run.
760
00:34:13,051 --> 00:34:14,101
MAN 3: Copy that.
30 seconds.
761
00:34:14,182 --> 00:34:16,052
MAN 4: Yo-Yo, you ready?
762
00:34:16,141 --> 00:34:18,881
MAN 5: Yo-Yo, drop them, and
let's get the fuck out of here.
763
00:34:18,969 --> 00:34:20,799
YOSSARIAN: Holding steady.
764
00:34:20,884 --> 00:34:22,194
MAN: Oh, shit!
[gunfire]
765
00:34:22,277 --> 00:34:23,797
Oh, hold on!
We got it! Hold on!
766
00:34:23,887 --> 00:34:25,797
[man shouts indistinctly
over radio]
767
00:34:25,889 --> 00:34:27,629
MAN: Look out!
Will you hurry the fuck up?
768
00:34:27,717 --> 00:34:29,107
Jesus Christ.
769
00:34:29,197 --> 00:34:30,847
Shit. Not a milk run anymore,
fellas.
770
00:34:30,938 --> 00:34:32,418
Here we go again.
Hold steady.
771
00:34:32,505 --> 00:34:34,025
MAN: Harvey, where we at?
772
00:34:34,115 --> 00:34:36,675
HARVEY: Hey, McWatt,
bring her to 066.
773
00:34:36,770 --> 00:34:37,860
MCWATT: Roger that.
774
00:34:37,945 --> 00:34:39,635
HARVEY: Steady!
Steady!
775
00:34:39,729 --> 00:34:41,249
All right, boys,
we're approaching.
776
00:34:41,340 --> 00:34:43,910
Yossarian, what's your heading?
777
00:34:43,994 --> 00:34:46,304
Hey, Yossarian, you got to
get above me.
778
00:34:46,388 --> 00:34:49,388
[gunfire, bullets ricocheting]
779
00:34:53,613 --> 00:34:55,143
Hey, Yossarian, you hear me?
780
00:34:55,223 --> 00:34:58,493
Yo-Yo, what the fuck is going
on down there?
781
00:34:58,574 --> 00:35:00,664
Yossarian.
782
00:35:00,750 --> 00:35:02,710
Oh!
HARVEY: Holy shit!
783
00:35:02,796 --> 00:35:04,056
What the fuck was that?
784
00:35:04,145 --> 00:35:06,315
[screaming]
785
00:35:06,408 --> 00:35:08,628
[suspenseful music]
786
00:35:08,715 --> 00:35:11,325
Oh!MAN: Holy fuck!
787
00:35:11,413 --> 00:35:12,683
HARVEY:
What happened to Dunbar?
788
00:35:12,762 --> 00:35:14,112
MAN: Was he wearing his chute?
789
00:35:14,199 --> 00:35:17,939
[groaning loudly]
790
00:35:18,028 --> 00:35:19,068
HARVEY: We're getting close!
791
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,470
MAN: Hold steady.
Seven-six.
792
00:35:21,554 --> 00:35:23,164
Uh...MAN: Here I go!
793
00:35:23,251 --> 00:35:24,911
Okay. [groans]
794
00:35:24,992 --> 00:35:26,212
HARVEY: You there, Yo-Yo?
795
00:35:26,298 --> 00:35:27,468
MAN 2: Steady!
Hold steady!
796
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,080
HARVEY: Drop them, Yo-Yo.
797
00:35:29,170 --> 00:35:30,820
Go, goddamn it!
Nately, we're holding!
798
00:35:30,911 --> 00:35:32,481
Shut up!
799
00:35:32,565 --> 00:35:34,085
Yossarian, we're approaching.
You got that?
800
00:35:34,175 --> 00:35:35,565
I got it, I got it!
801
00:35:35,655 --> 00:35:37,395
MAN: Ten seconds.
802
00:35:37,483 --> 00:35:39,143
YOSSARIAN: Steady.
803
00:35:39,224 --> 00:35:40,574
MAN: Oh, shit!
804
00:35:40,660 --> 00:35:41,750
And...
805
00:35:41,835 --> 00:35:42,705
MAN: Drop them!
806
00:35:42,792 --> 00:35:44,232
Okay, bombs away!
807
00:35:44,316 --> 00:35:47,096
Okay, uh, McWatt,
get us out of here!
808
00:35:47,188 --> 00:35:49,968
Get us the goddamn
fuck out of here!
809
00:35:50,060 --> 00:35:52,370
Oh, shit!
810
00:35:52,454 --> 00:35:54,544
Oh, fuck!
811
00:35:54,630 --> 00:35:57,550
[dramatic music]
812
00:35:57,633 --> 00:36:04,643
♪ ♪
813
00:36:13,345 --> 00:36:15,605
His face...
814
00:36:15,695 --> 00:36:18,825
it was right there.
815
00:36:18,915 --> 00:36:21,735
And it was one
of those moments when...
816
00:36:21,831 --> 00:36:24,361
you know...
817
00:36:24,443 --> 00:36:26,663
It couldn't have been more than
half a second--less than that.
818
00:36:26,749 --> 00:36:28,269
But he was...
819
00:36:30,144 --> 00:36:32,324
I can see everything.
820
00:36:33,539 --> 00:36:37,019
Every hair in his nostril,
that crooked tooth.
821
00:36:38,413 --> 00:36:40,153
And his eyes...
822
00:36:40,241 --> 00:36:43,551
there was no life flashing
before them or any of that.
823
00:36:43,636 --> 00:36:45,286
It's just terror.
824
00:36:47,030 --> 00:36:48,730
That's all it was.
825
00:36:50,947 --> 00:36:52,037
Shit.
826
00:36:54,429 --> 00:36:56,519
Yo-Yo, that ain't right.
827
00:37:20,847 --> 00:37:22,107
Gentlemen.[indistinct chatter]
828
00:37:22,196 --> 00:37:24,676
Gentlemen![chatter continues]
829
00:37:24,764 --> 00:37:26,774
Gentlemen!
830
00:37:28,681 --> 00:37:30,681
Gentlemen!
831
00:37:34,687 --> 00:37:37,077
What's gotten into you
fellas today, huh?
832
00:37:37,167 --> 00:37:38,647
[chatter continues]
833
00:37:38,734 --> 00:37:41,654
[chuckles]
Come on, guys!
834
00:37:41,737 --> 00:37:43,127
Because--
835
00:37:43,217 --> 00:37:44,307
[gunshot]
836
00:37:44,392 --> 00:37:45,702
[chatter stops]
837
00:37:54,402 --> 00:37:56,802
What is this,
ladies' night out?
838
00:37:56,883 --> 00:37:58,363
Hmm?
839
00:37:58,450 --> 00:37:59,930
Is this ladies' night out,
by any chance,
840
00:38:00,016 --> 00:38:03,016
Lieutenant Colonel Korn?No, sir, it is not.
841
00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:06,242
Are you ladies settled?
842
00:38:09,025 --> 00:38:11,155
All right, then.
843
00:38:12,551 --> 00:38:14,641
I'm Colonel Cathcart,
and as of now,
844
00:38:14,727 --> 00:38:18,817
I'm in charge of you sorry-ass
bunch of homosexuals.
845
00:38:20,863 --> 00:38:25,173
Now, I understand that you were
very fond of Colonel Copeland.
846
00:38:25,259 --> 00:38:27,739
Well, guess what. Boo-hoo.
I know Jerry Copeland.
847
00:38:27,827 --> 00:38:29,257
He's an outstanding commander,
848
00:38:29,350 --> 00:38:30,830
and he is an
upstanding American.
849
00:38:30,917 --> 00:38:32,437
And guess what.
850
00:38:32,527 --> 00:38:34,657
Nothing changes, gentlemen.
851
00:38:34,747 --> 00:38:37,047
Oh, the faces may change.
852
00:38:37,140 --> 00:38:39,400
But our purpose and our resolve
remain the same.
853
00:38:39,491 --> 00:38:42,891
We keep doing things the same
way we've been doing them
854
00:38:42,972 --> 00:38:47,152
because we are the
United States Army Air Force.
855
00:38:47,237 --> 00:38:49,237
And what is our purpose?
856
00:38:53,461 --> 00:38:55,771
Anybody.
857
00:38:57,422 --> 00:38:59,212
Unbelievable.Soldier.
858
00:38:59,293 --> 00:39:02,603
To defeat the enemy, sir.To defeat the enemy.
859
00:39:02,688 --> 00:39:06,608
Now, some of us--some of us are
making the ultimate sacrifice
860
00:39:06,692 --> 00:39:08,482
on land, on sea,
and in the air,
861
00:39:08,563 --> 00:39:10,393
while others of us
apparently think
862
00:39:10,478 --> 00:39:13,258
we are at the Ladies' Auxiliary
fucking Fund-raiser!
863
00:39:13,351 --> 00:39:15,051
You are American officers!
864
00:39:15,135 --> 00:39:17,305
And the officers of no other
army in the world
865
00:39:17,398 --> 00:39:19,008
can make that statement!
866
00:39:19,095 --> 00:39:20,445
You think about that.
867
00:39:22,534 --> 00:39:25,674
Now, let's get down
to brass tacks.
868
00:39:25,754 --> 00:39:28,764
I am gonna toughen
you ladies up.
869
00:39:28,844 --> 00:39:31,334
And here's where
I'm gonna start.
870
00:39:32,718 --> 00:39:35,758
I have decided to raise the
mission count from 25 to 30.
871
00:39:35,851 --> 00:39:38,991
That's exciting, isn't it?
You're goddamn right it is!
872
00:39:39,072 --> 00:39:41,122
30 missions
effective immediately.
873
00:39:41,204 --> 00:39:42,904
We're winning this thing,
gentlemen.
874
00:39:42,989 --> 00:39:44,899
We're beating the bastards.
875
00:39:44,991 --> 00:39:47,651
So three cheers for us.
876
00:39:47,733 --> 00:39:49,213
Hip, hip!
877
00:39:49,299 --> 00:39:51,299
A FEW VOICES: Hooray.
878
00:39:51,389 --> 00:39:52,299
Hip, hip!
879
00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:53,780
ALL: Hoorah!
880
00:39:53,869 --> 00:39:55,259
Hip, hip!
ALL: Hoorah!
881
00:39:55,349 --> 00:39:57,479
[all shouting]
882
00:39:57,569 --> 00:40:00,699
You're goddamn right hoorah!
883
00:40:00,789 --> 00:40:03,709
[dramatic music]
884
00:40:03,792 --> 00:40:10,802
♪ ♪
885
00:40:13,498 --> 00:40:15,238
Doc, look,
you got to help me.
886
00:40:15,325 --> 00:40:16,625
Let's forget about the liver.
887
00:40:16,718 --> 00:40:18,588
You can ground me
if I'm crazy, right?
888
00:40:18,677 --> 00:40:20,637
Oh, sure, I have to. I have
to ground anyone who's crazy.
889
00:40:20,722 --> 00:40:22,252
Then ground me.
I'm crazy.
890
00:40:22,332 --> 00:40:24,252
You're not crazy.But I am! Ask anyone.
891
00:40:24,334 --> 00:40:25,254
They'll tell you
how crazy I am.
892
00:40:25,335 --> 00:40:26,415
Yeah, but they're crazy.
893
00:40:26,511 --> 00:40:27,951
Then why don't
you ground them?
894
00:40:28,034 --> 00:40:29,384
Why don't they ask me
to ground them?
895
00:40:29,470 --> 00:40:30,650
'Cause they're crazy.
That's why.
896
00:40:30,732 --> 00:40:32,172
Of course they're crazy.
897
00:40:32,255 --> 00:40:33,685
I just told you they're crazy,
didn't I?
898
00:40:33,779 --> 00:40:35,429
And you can't have
crazy people decide
899
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,130
whether you're crazy or not.
900
00:40:37,217 --> 00:40:39,997
Is Orr crazy?Oh, he sure is.
901
00:40:40,089 --> 00:40:41,439
Can you ground him?I sure can.
902
00:40:41,526 --> 00:40:43,216
But first he has to ask me to.
903
00:40:43,310 --> 00:40:46,050
Then why doesn't he ask you?Because he's crazy.
904
00:40:46,139 --> 00:40:48,489
You'd have to be crazy to want
to keep flying combat missions.
905
00:40:48,576 --> 00:40:51,136
Sure, I can ground Orr.
But first he has to ask me to.
906
00:40:51,231 --> 00:40:52,971
And that's all he has to do
to be grounded?
907
00:40:53,059 --> 00:40:54,929
That's it.
Just let him ask.
908
00:40:55,017 --> 00:40:56,977
And then you can ground him?No, then I can't ground him.
909
00:40:57,063 --> 00:40:59,243
Why not?Catch-22.
910
00:40:59,326 --> 00:41:02,326
Anyone who wants to get out of
combat duty isn't really crazy.
911
00:41:02,416 --> 00:41:06,026
Catch-22 specifies that
a concern for one's own safety
912
00:41:06,115 --> 00:41:08,065
in the face of danger--
real and immediate--
913
00:41:08,161 --> 00:41:10,121
is the process
of a rational mind.
914
00:41:10,206 --> 00:41:11,726
What?
915
00:41:11,817 --> 00:41:13,857
Orr's crazy, and therefore
he can get out
916
00:41:13,949 --> 00:41:16,039
of flying combat missions--
all he has to do is ask.
917
00:41:16,125 --> 00:41:18,905
But as soon as he asks,
he's no longer crazy,
918
00:41:18,998 --> 00:41:20,568
and so he has
to fly more missions.
919
00:41:20,652 --> 00:41:22,312
What?
920
00:41:22,392 --> 00:41:24,352
Orr would be crazy to want
to fly more missions
921
00:41:24,438 --> 00:41:26,138
and sane if he didn't,
but if he's sane,
922
00:41:26,222 --> 00:41:27,962
then he has to fly them.
923
00:41:28,050 --> 00:41:29,360
If he flies them,
then he's crazy,
924
00:41:29,443 --> 00:41:30,923
and so he doesn't have to.
925
00:41:31,010 --> 00:41:33,060
But if he doesn't want to,
then he's sane,
926
00:41:33,142 --> 00:41:34,882
and so he has to.
927
00:41:41,455 --> 00:41:43,885
That's some catch,
that Catch-22.
928
00:41:43,979 --> 00:41:45,329
It's the best there is.
929
00:41:50,203 --> 00:41:52,253
[door closes]
930
00:41:55,904 --> 00:41:58,824
[explosions]
931
00:41:58,907 --> 00:42:00,427
MAN: It's getting hot
up here, fellas.
932
00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:02,258
MAN 2: Oh, shit!
933
00:42:02,345 --> 00:42:04,255
MAN 3: All right, boys, just
hold it steady right here.
934
00:42:04,347 --> 00:42:06,177
Hold steady!Holy fuck.
935
00:42:06,262 --> 00:42:09,272
Closing in on target.
30 seconds to run.
936
00:42:09,352 --> 00:42:11,272
MAN: Okay, that's 30
seconds to run.
937
00:42:11,354 --> 00:42:13,574
30 seconds, fellas!
938
00:42:13,661 --> 00:42:17,541
[indistinct chatter][bullets thudding]
939
00:42:17,622 --> 00:42:19,192
Hold steady.
940
00:42:19,275 --> 00:42:21,015
MAN 2: Okay, copy that!
941
00:42:21,103 --> 00:42:24,023
[gunfire, bullets ricocheting]
942
00:42:24,106 --> 00:42:27,106
[airplane engine rumbling]
943
00:42:31,418 --> 00:42:34,458
[air whooshing]
944
00:42:38,164 --> 00:42:39,694
[glass squeaking]
945
00:42:39,774 --> 00:42:41,604
MAN: ♪ If I only had wings ♪
946
00:42:41,689 --> 00:42:45,479
♪ I'd fly like a birdie
in the sky ♪
947
00:42:45,563 --> 00:42:48,173
♪ With a tra la, la, la,
a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪
948
00:42:48,261 --> 00:42:50,181
♪ It's a pair
of wings for me ♪
949
00:42:50,263 --> 00:42:53,143
♪ Take a trip
to the moon on high ♪
950
00:42:53,222 --> 00:42:55,962
♪ Ask him why
he winks his eye ♪
951
00:42:56,051 --> 00:42:58,581
♪ With a tra la, la, la,
a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪
952
00:42:58,663 --> 00:43:01,323
♪ It's a pair
of wings for me ♪
953
00:43:01,404 --> 00:43:03,974
♪ Dreaming, dreaming ♪
954
00:43:04,059 --> 00:43:06,629
♪ Watching the clouds
roll by ♪
955
00:43:06,714 --> 00:43:10,814
♪ I'd be scheming,
happy in the bright blue sky ♪
956
00:43:10,892 --> 00:43:12,632
♪ If I only had wings ♪
957
00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:16,460
♪ I'd fly like a birdie
in the sky ♪
958
00:43:16,550 --> 00:43:19,210
♪ With a tra la, la, la,
a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪
959
00:43:19,292 --> 00:43:21,732
♪ Get the angels swinging
on the hops for me ♪
960
00:43:21,816 --> 00:43:24,206
[scatting]
961
00:43:24,297 --> 00:43:26,257
♪ It's a pair
of wings for me ♪
962
00:43:26,342 --> 00:43:29,222
♪ Take a trip
to the moon on high ♪
963
00:43:29,302 --> 00:43:32,042
♪ Ask him why
he winks his eye ♪
964
00:43:32,131 --> 00:43:34,661
♪ With a tra la, la, la,
a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪
965
00:43:34,742 --> 00:43:36,612
♪ It's a pair
of wings for me ♪
966
00:43:36,701 --> 00:43:38,571
♪ If I only had wings ♪
967
00:43:38,659 --> 00:43:42,449
♪ I'd fly, fly, fly
like a birdie in the sky ♪
968
00:43:42,532 --> 00:43:44,672
[drum solo]
969
00:43:44,752 --> 00:43:46,672
♪ It's a pair
of wings for me ♪
970
00:43:46,754 --> 00:43:49,894
♪ Take a trip to the moon,
oh, the moon on high ♪
971
00:43:49,975 --> 00:43:52,845
♪ Ask him why
he winks his eye ♪
972
00:43:52,934 --> 00:43:54,894
[drum solo]
973
00:43:54,980 --> 00:43:58,240
♪ It's a pair of wings
for me ♪
974
00:43:58,331 --> 00:44:00,511
[scatting]
975
00:44:00,594 --> 00:44:03,084
♪ Watching those clouds
roll by ♪
976
00:44:03,162 --> 00:44:05,212
♪ I'd be scheming ♪
977
00:44:05,294 --> 00:44:07,124
♪ I'm happy
in the bright blue sky ♪
978
00:44:07,209 --> 00:44:10,299
♪ If I only had wings,
wings, wings, wings ♪
979
00:44:10,386 --> 00:44:13,086
♪ I'd fly like a birdie
in the sky ♪
980
00:44:13,172 --> 00:44:17,262
[drum solo]
981
00:44:17,350 --> 00:44:20,090
[scatting]
982
00:44:20,179 --> 00:44:22,089
♪ It's a pair of wings
for me ♪
983
00:44:22,181 --> 00:44:24,051
♪ If I only had wings ♪
984
00:44:24,139 --> 00:44:28,269
♪ I'd fly, fly, fly
like a birdie in the sky ♪
985
00:44:28,361 --> 00:44:32,711
[drum solo]
986
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,320
[scatting]
987
00:44:35,411 --> 00:44:37,371
♪ It's a pair of wings
for me ♪
988
00:44:37,457 --> 00:44:40,677
♪ Take a trip to the moon,
oh, the moon on high ♪
989
00:44:40,765 --> 00:44:43,895
♪ Ask him why
he winks his eye ♪
990
00:44:43,985 --> 00:44:45,935
[drum solo]
991
00:44:46,031 --> 00:44:49,471
♪ It's a pair of wings
for me ♪
992
00:44:49,556 --> 00:44:51,726
[scatting]
993
00:44:51,819 --> 00:44:54,739
♪ Watching those clouds
roll by ♪
994
00:44:54,822 --> 00:44:56,562
♪ I'd be scheming ♪
995
00:44:56,650 --> 00:44:58,430
♪ I'm happy
in the bright blue sky ♪
996
00:44:58,521 --> 00:45:01,961
♪ If I only had wings,
wings, wings, wings ♪
997
00:45:02,047 --> 00:45:04,607
♪ I'd fly like a birdie
in the sky ♪
998
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:09,972
[drum solo]
999
00:45:10,055 --> 00:45:13,005
[scatting]
1000
00:45:13,101 --> 00:45:15,151
♪ It's a pair of wings
for me ♪
1001
00:45:15,234 --> 00:45:18,244
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's a pair of wings for me ♪
72001
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
