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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,971 --> 00:00:04,742 ? Twinkle, twinkle, little star ? 2 00:00:04,842 --> 00:00:09,380 ? How I wonder what you are ? 3 00:00:09,413 --> 00:00:13,351 ? Something, something, up so high ? 4 00:00:13,384 --> 00:00:18,422 - # Kicking, screaming, burned alive... # - Goddamn it, Cheryl, 5 00:00:18,522 --> 00:00:20,324 are you gonna shoot this goddamn thing or what? 6 00:00:20,358 --> 00:00:24,062 Well, it's hard for me to make a decision 7 00:00:24,095 --> 00:00:27,764 without knowing what this "or what" option is. Duh. 8 00:00:27,885 --> 00:00:33,324 For God's sakes, Lana, do you literally want to become lunch? 9 00:00:33,357 --> 00:00:34,824 The gas pedal is the one on the right. 10 00:00:34,825 --> 00:00:38,028 I'm trying. I can't get any power. 11 00:00:38,061 --> 00:00:40,698 Why are these guns so freaking loud? 12 00:00:40,731 --> 00:00:43,133 My earballs are on fire! 13 00:00:44,748 --> 00:00:49,386 - Shoot him in the dick! - Space snails don't have dicks. 14 00:00:49,387 --> 00:00:52,190 Technically, they have both male and female reproductive organs, 15 00:00:52,223 --> 00:00:54,392 so they can inseminate and be inseminated. 16 00:00:54,425 --> 00:00:56,527 Cyril's definitely been to those kind of parties. 17 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,228 - Space burn. - Would you idiots 18 00:00:58,229 --> 00:01:00,698 mind focusing on the problem at hand, please? 19 00:01:00,731 --> 00:01:04,034 Krieger, why can't I get any power from the boosters? 20 00:01:04,068 --> 00:01:06,804 What the hell is going on with the power supply? 21 00:01:06,904 --> 00:01:09,906 Goddamn it! Something must be depleting power from the ship. 22 00:01:09,907 --> 00:01:11,909 Did someone leave the fan on in the bathroom again? 23 00:01:11,942 --> 00:01:13,977 - Not me. - And why not? 24 00:01:14,078 --> 00:01:16,747 What is with all the banging and the shouting? 25 00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:19,363 Are we hosting a quincea�era? 26 00:01:22,986 --> 00:01:26,224 Oh, shiiit! 27 00:01:28,126 --> 00:01:30,294 Nooo! 28 00:01:31,629 --> 00:01:34,265 I left my purse in there! 29 00:02:06,616 --> 00:02:09,655 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 30 00:02:20,721 --> 00:02:23,858 - That was awesome. - Awesome? 31 00:02:23,891 --> 00:02:25,424 We're stuck inside a space nautilus 32 00:02:25,425 --> 00:02:27,394 somewhere between his colon and his cloaca. 33 00:02:27,427 --> 00:02:30,104 - What's a cloaca? - It's an organ that's used 34 00:02:30,105 --> 00:02:32,065 for excretion and also intercourse. 35 00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:34,901 - Smart. - Pam, shut up. 36 00:02:34,902 --> 00:02:36,602 You know, for the person who got us into this mess, 37 00:02:36,603 --> 00:02:39,239 you certainly are yelling at people a lot. 38 00:02:39,273 --> 00:02:41,541 - You got us into this mess. - Hey, let's not point fingers. 39 00:02:41,575 --> 00:02:44,811 Especially yours, Lana. Those things are like cricket bats. 40 00:02:44,912 --> 00:02:46,646 You're the one who wouldn't listen to me 41 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,181 and set our course for a galaxy 42 00:02:48,182 --> 00:02:50,250 to which we've never been before, and, as we can now see, 43 00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:53,387 is a ship-eating cosmo crustacean. 44 00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:55,555 Well, you were the one making the flight super boring, 45 00:02:55,589 --> 00:02:58,724 so I started punching colored buttons on the navigation panel, 46 00:02:58,725 --> 00:03:02,362 building to a loud, yelly, final last point! 47 00:03:02,396 --> 00:03:04,364 Can we please figure out how the hell 48 00:03:04,398 --> 00:03:05,698 we're getting out of here? 49 00:03:05,699 --> 00:03:06,900 - Yeah! - We are totally boned. 50 00:03:06,901 --> 00:03:10,270 Would everyone relax. We'll just fire up the old plasma torch, 51 00:03:10,370 --> 00:03:13,607 cut an ulcer in this thing, and zorp our way out of here. 52 00:03:17,377 --> 00:03:19,446 Okay. Don't waste any more power. 53 00:03:19,546 --> 00:03:22,749 - It'll work. - No, it will not. 54 00:03:22,782 --> 00:03:25,718 - Well, not with that attitude. - That wasn't me, idiot. 55 00:03:25,719 --> 00:03:27,922 - I tried that, too, when I got here. - Wha... 56 00:03:27,955 --> 00:03:29,924 Can't you go anywhere these days 57 00:03:29,957 --> 00:03:32,459 without being accosted by the homeless? 58 00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:35,229 Um, so I guess I'll just wait out here, then, 59 00:03:35,262 --> 00:03:38,234 like some space-flunky. 60 00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:44,904 This is so stupid. "Lead us into battle, Cheryl." 61 00:03:44,905 --> 00:03:47,074 "Rescue the ship from certain doom, Carol." 62 00:03:47,107 --> 00:03:50,644 Who am I, Artemisia I of Caria? 63 00:03:53,413 --> 00:03:56,083 You know what I mean. 64 00:03:58,255 --> 00:04:00,090 Oh, God! 65 00:04:00,124 --> 00:04:03,127 - Is it... a human? - Of sorts. 66 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,962 Smells like a diaper's coffin in here. 67 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:07,597 This is why you don't invite them in. 68 00:04:07,631 --> 00:04:09,599 - She's a vampire? - Everyone shut up. 69 00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:11,969 Who are you and what are you doing here? 70 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:16,173 My name is Glenda Price, captain of the starship Tristan of Coralia. 71 00:04:18,542 --> 00:04:20,978 I also commanded the CoreStart mission. 72 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:24,381 Wrote a book about it. "Space Me, Space You." 73 00:04:26,450 --> 00:04:27,716 About all the good we did 74 00:04:27,717 --> 00:04:30,054 and the lives we saved throughout the universe? 75 00:04:30,154 --> 00:04:32,990 The cover art is my Intergalactic Peace Prize medal? 76 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,157 - Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember that. - I love Space Me, Space You. 77 00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:35,191 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, space. 78 00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:38,011 Anyway, the Tristan was on an intergalactic 79 00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:40,729 humanitarian mission when we ran into the Zarglorp. 80 00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:43,016 - What's the Zarglorp? - Seriously? 81 00:04:43,017 --> 00:04:45,569 - Come on! - Even I know that was stupid. 82 00:04:45,669 --> 00:04:47,371 The creature that ate us, dummy. 83 00:04:47,404 --> 00:04:50,040 - Jesus, all right, sorry. - We were delivering 84 00:04:50,074 --> 00:04:53,477 medical supplies to poor children and burn victims 85 00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:56,413 when an asteroid storm forced us off course 86 00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,248 into the Targluk Galaxy. 87 00:04:58,348 --> 00:05:02,018 - Is that how you all ended up there? - Uh... uh, y-yup. 88 00:05:02,019 --> 00:05:05,053 Asteroid storm. Size of eggs. 89 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:08,225 Ah, yes. We got dragged in and swallowed whole. 90 00:05:08,258 --> 00:05:11,528 The Tristan is still wedged nearby in the digestive canal. 91 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:14,498 - And your crew? - Oh, we made do at first. 92 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,367 We played softball, taught ourselves piano. 93 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:19,937 But then the rations ran out and, one by one, 94 00:05:20,037 --> 00:05:21,604 they killed themselves. 95 00:05:21,605 --> 00:05:23,039 - Wow. - Cheesy Petes. 96 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,707 Captain, I am so sorry to hear that. 97 00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:27,945 Me too. We lived in our own little utopia. 98 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:32,182 They were my best friends. 99 00:05:32,216 --> 00:05:34,684 Best friends? But they work for you. 100 00:05:34,718 --> 00:05:37,521 Anyhow, then, as they died, we'd eat them. 101 00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,055 Smart. 102 00:05:39,056 --> 00:05:40,958 Unfortunately, there's no way out of here. 103 00:05:41,058 --> 00:05:43,961 We'll slowly be digested over the next hundred years or so. 104 00:05:44,061 --> 00:05:46,294 A hundred years? That's, like, forever! 105 00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:48,632 - Nobody lives that long, idiot. - You definitely won't 106 00:05:48,732 --> 00:05:50,432 if you don't keep your mouth shut. 107 00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:54,704 All right, calm down. We aren't spending the rest of our lives 108 00:05:54,738 --> 00:05:58,042 in some space prawn's shit factory. Krieger, figure out 109 00:05:58,075 --> 00:06:00,144 why there's no power to the boosters and fix it. 110 00:06:00,244 --> 00:06:03,313 - Yep, yep, yep. - Ray, fix anything damaged in the crash. 111 00:06:03,413 --> 00:06:05,715 Pam, Lana, and I will go back to the Tristan 112 00:06:05,749 --> 00:06:08,085 and collect anything that might help us get out of here. 113 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,620 Cyril, I guess just keep being useless. 114 00:06:10,654 --> 00:06:12,255 - Captain? - What do you need? 115 00:06:12,256 --> 00:06:13,991 I want to help you all get to safety, 116 00:06:14,091 --> 00:06:16,060 like when I rescued the Vantaurians 117 00:06:16,093 --> 00:06:18,295 from that ELE on Vantaur Five, 118 00:06:18,328 --> 00:06:23,333 then used all my money to get them all universal health care. 119 00:06:23,433 --> 00:06:26,002 That's insurance that is accepted throughout the universe. 120 00:06:26,003 --> 00:06:28,338 Wow, what a goddamn saint you are. 121 00:06:28,438 --> 00:06:30,140 Do you have any blast charges on your ship? 122 00:06:30,174 --> 00:06:34,344 - Yes, but do not use them, because... - Great. Okay, Pam, this is crucial. 123 00:06:34,444 --> 00:06:36,246 Once we're out there, look for anything we can use 124 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,015 to make me a drink. 125 00:06:38,115 --> 00:06:41,085 We're in the middle of a space creature's stomach. 126 00:06:41,118 --> 00:06:43,787 There's always something that can be a mixer, Lana. 127 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,090 I made a drink once out of Barbicide and hair gel. 128 00:06:46,123 --> 00:06:48,158 It's called a Moscow Mousse. 129 00:06:48,192 --> 00:06:51,294 Well, it seems like you all have this situation under control. 130 00:06:51,295 --> 00:06:54,031 Under control? We're currently food. 131 00:06:54,131 --> 00:06:57,601 Well, you know me. Always "glass half full." 132 00:06:57,634 --> 00:07:00,437 ? Ta-ta. ? 133 00:07:03,974 --> 00:07:06,276 Okay, pro: all my stuff is on board, 134 00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:07,810 including that kick-ass purse 135 00:07:07,811 --> 00:07:09,312 that has metal studs on the bottom 136 00:07:09,313 --> 00:07:11,448 so it doesn't touch gross restaurant floors. 137 00:07:11,481 --> 00:07:14,151 Con. I'm gonna have to keep doing 138 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:18,222 stupid fighter pilot missions, and they're so boring 'cause I'm so good. 139 00:07:18,322 --> 00:07:19,655 Pro: I'm here. 140 00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:22,126 Is that you, voice in my head? 141 00:07:22,159 --> 00:07:24,894 You sound so much older. And drunker. 142 00:07:24,995 --> 00:07:26,997 Look at the screen, you glue-eating pinhead. 143 00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:29,833 Oh! I've seen this show! With the mean lady! 144 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,402 - Um... Matlock! - Listen to me. 145 00:07:32,502 --> 00:07:35,972 We have to fly down into that monster this instant. 146 00:07:36,006 --> 00:07:37,741 For my purse? I know, right? 147 00:07:37,841 --> 00:07:39,843 It matches literally everything. 148 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,012 No, you clod. To pick up Sterling, 149 00:07:42,046 --> 00:07:43,747 then get the hell out of here. 150 00:07:43,847 --> 00:07:45,514 Mm, no, thanks. 151 00:07:45,515 --> 00:07:47,651 What do you mean, "No, thanks"? 152 00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:50,853 I'm probably just better off leaving and starting a new life. 153 00:07:50,854 --> 00:07:52,188 Hey, you want to come? 154 00:07:52,189 --> 00:07:54,224 - Gals' trip! - Absolutely not! 155 00:07:54,258 --> 00:07:56,893 Now listen to me. We are flying back down there and... 156 00:07:56,926 --> 00:07:59,663 You're not my space supervisor! 157 00:08:07,798 --> 00:08:09,966 All right, Cyril, while we're gone, 158 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,700 keep Captain Price company. 159 00:08:11,702 --> 00:08:13,035 She's been through a lot. 160 00:08:13,036 --> 00:08:14,905 Maybe you'll learn a thing or two from her. 161 00:08:15,005 --> 00:08:16,538 Oh, from the woman who got her ship eaten 162 00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,040 and her whole crew killed? 163 00:08:18,041 --> 00:08:20,210 That's still more than you've ever accomplished, Cyril. 164 00:08:20,243 --> 00:08:23,046 Keep her company. 165 00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:25,515 Cyril, right? Come over here. 166 00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:28,418 Sit down. Let's have a chat, just you and I. 167 00:08:28,518 --> 00:08:31,570 Would you like to hear the story of how I saved 168 00:08:31,571 --> 00:08:34,288 the Drang population after the Great Flood of the Mupak Valley? 169 00:08:34,357 --> 00:08:37,360 You know what? Yes, I would. 170 00:08:37,393 --> 00:08:38,861 Screw it, if we're dying in here, 171 00:08:38,862 --> 00:08:40,697 I'm gonna go ahead and finish that cake. 172 00:08:40,731 --> 00:08:43,476 I mean, I don't even care. 173 00:08:45,601 --> 00:08:47,035 - Krieger? - Still looking 174 00:08:47,036 --> 00:08:48,470 for the source of the power loss. 175 00:08:48,505 --> 00:08:50,340 Seems like it's been getting sucked all night. 176 00:08:50,373 --> 00:08:52,575 Space phrasing. All right, find it and fix it. 177 00:08:52,608 --> 00:08:54,209 Once this thing pukes us out, 178 00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:57,180 we're gonna need those boosters to get out of this galaxy. 179 00:09:00,717 --> 00:09:05,606 Don't worry, my child. Daddy's here. 180 00:09:05,641 --> 00:09:10,293 More... power. 181 00:09:19,402 --> 00:09:22,072 What was that bullshit back there with Cyril? 182 00:09:22,105 --> 00:09:23,739 "Keep Captain Price company"? 183 00:09:23,740 --> 00:09:25,976 Since when do you care about other people's feelings? 184 00:09:26,076 --> 00:09:28,278 Well, unlike you, Lana, I have empathy. 185 00:09:28,311 --> 00:09:31,914 - Oh, wait. Uh, sympathy? - I think it's "symphony." 186 00:09:31,915 --> 00:09:33,984 I can put myself in Price's shoes, okay? 187 00:09:34,084 --> 00:09:37,788 I know I'm gonna be the last survivor, resorting to cannibalism. 188 00:09:37,821 --> 00:09:40,991 Stuck here to die alone, literally eating dicks. 189 00:09:41,091 --> 00:09:44,093 - Oh, come on. - Or, you know, whatever Pam has. 190 00:09:44,094 --> 00:09:45,627 I hesitate to call that thing a dick. 191 00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,497 It's more like a garbage claw. 192 00:09:47,597 --> 00:09:50,332 Oh, pfft. Give me a break. You don't want to die alone? 193 00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:52,335 You were always gonna die alone. 194 00:09:52,435 --> 00:09:55,838 - What's that supposed to mean? - Archer, be honest. 195 00:09:55,839 --> 00:09:57,774 You're not close to anyone because you don't care. 196 00:09:57,808 --> 00:09:59,810 You don't even bother to listen to people, 197 00:09:59,843 --> 00:10:02,344 - especially me. - That's not true, Lana. 198 00:10:02,345 --> 00:10:04,045 I just listened to that entire sentence, 199 00:10:04,114 --> 00:10:07,482 - and it was excruciating. - Up top. 200 00:10:09,119 --> 00:10:11,654 Holy shitsnacks. 201 00:10:11,687 --> 00:10:13,523 These must be the suicidal crew members 202 00:10:13,623 --> 00:10:15,124 Price was talking about. 203 00:10:15,125 --> 00:10:17,660 Uh, you ever hear about someone committing suicide 204 00:10:17,693 --> 00:10:20,301 by bludgeoning themselves in the back of the head? 205 00:10:20,336 --> 00:10:22,132 Hey, the blast charges! 206 00:10:22,165 --> 00:10:25,969 Weren't you listening when Price said not to set those charges off? 207 00:10:26,002 --> 00:10:29,138 - I actually wasn't. What did she say? - Not to. 208 00:10:29,139 --> 00:10:30,974 Don't make things worse than they already are. 209 00:10:31,007 --> 00:10:33,476 Worse? We're in a monster's colon. 210 00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:35,778 We'll be safe here behind this big fleshy... 211 00:10:35,812 --> 00:10:39,515 - What is this, a tumor? - Aw, poor guy. 212 00:10:47,123 --> 00:10:48,859 Okay, now get back to the ship. 213 00:10:48,892 --> 00:10:50,626 Hey, what's that? 214 00:10:50,660 --> 00:10:56,199 Ugh. Some sort of parasites that live in this thing's digestive system. 215 00:10:56,232 --> 00:10:57,968 Yeah, I get those sometimes 216 00:10:58,001 --> 00:10:59,668 if I've been nosing through the trash. 217 00:10:59,669 --> 00:11:02,288 Ugh. Remember me saying 218 00:11:02,289 --> 00:11:04,506 something about not wanting things to get worse? 219 00:11:04,507 --> 00:11:07,243 I actually was listening then. 220 00:11:07,343 --> 00:11:09,812 Will you shut up and help me think of a plan? 221 00:11:09,846 --> 00:11:11,546 She said, while both talking 222 00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:14,112 - and not coming up with a plan. - Archer... 223 00:11:14,147 --> 00:11:15,718 Wait. I just came up with a plan. 224 00:11:15,751 --> 00:11:17,252 It's kind of complex. 225 00:11:17,253 --> 00:11:18,520 Run! 226 00:11:23,193 --> 00:11:25,896 I sliced the Florglap right in his face 227 00:11:25,929 --> 00:11:27,629 and I never looked back. 228 00:11:27,697 --> 00:11:31,734 And because of my heroism, they made a holiday in my honor. 229 00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:34,270 I mean, not a bank holiday, but still. 230 00:11:34,370 --> 00:11:36,706 Wow, what a rewarding life. 231 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:40,109 - So, tell me about your life, Cyril. - Oh, me? 232 00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:41,776 I've had a rough go of it. You don't want to hear it. 233 00:11:41,777 --> 00:11:44,347 Son, nothing matters to me more. 234 00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:46,716 A captain cares about her crew more than herself. 235 00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,417 That's the captain's code. 236 00:11:48,418 --> 00:11:51,955 Well, okay, if it's the captain's code. 237 00:11:52,055 --> 00:11:55,025 Uh, I guess it all started when I was about five... 238 00:11:55,058 --> 00:11:59,729 I never wanted to be a fighter pilot. I wanted to work in fashion. 239 00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,396 Wouldn't that be a sight to see? 240 00:12:01,397 --> 00:12:03,566 Totally. You see these outfits we're wearing, right? 241 00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:05,100 Who came up with this? 242 00:12:05,101 --> 00:12:07,303 Does anybody's ass look good in a flight suit? 243 00:12:07,403 --> 00:12:08,938 - No! - Well, you know, 244 00:12:08,939 --> 00:12:11,774 I have some friends in the design world. 245 00:12:11,807 --> 00:12:15,578 Hey! I just had a great idea. 246 00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:19,215 - You know what we should do? - Yes! We should rob them! 247 00:12:19,249 --> 00:12:21,084 No! We should fly down 248 00:12:21,117 --> 00:12:23,386 into that monster to get Sterling, then... 249 00:12:23,419 --> 00:12:26,156 I love it! You and me can be space pirates! 250 00:12:26,256 --> 00:12:28,992 With my fighter pilot skills and your "zerp-zerp" thing, 251 00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:31,394 we could run this galaxy! 252 00:12:31,427 --> 00:12:34,430 Ooh, let's plan our pirate outfits! 253 00:12:34,464 --> 00:12:36,232 And it turns out 254 00:12:36,266 --> 00:12:38,334 everyone did know it was my birthday 255 00:12:38,434 --> 00:12:41,171 and they skipped it just to hurt my feelings. 256 00:12:41,271 --> 00:12:44,640 To this day, I've never got to play spin the bottle! 257 00:12:44,674 --> 00:12:48,611 Wow. Life, she is a bitch. 258 00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:50,145 But you know what people say? 259 00:12:50,146 --> 00:12:53,816 - When things seem darkest... - What, Captain? 260 00:12:53,849 --> 00:12:56,276 Kill yourself. 261 00:12:58,654 --> 00:13:01,991 Oh, my dear boy, look at you. 262 00:13:01,992 --> 00:13:04,694 You're an exact replica of me. 263 00:13:04,794 --> 00:13:07,163 Though that hairline could use a little work. 264 00:13:07,197 --> 00:13:10,300 M-more power! 265 00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:14,037 - Shh, okay, okay. - More, more, more... 266 00:13:23,813 --> 00:13:25,347 Oh, no, I've killed him! 267 00:13:25,348 --> 00:13:29,852 Oh, God, no! Son, I didn't mean to kill you. 268 00:13:29,885 --> 00:13:32,622 M-Murder! 269 00:13:32,655 --> 00:13:34,991 - Murderer! - No, no, shh! 270 00:13:35,025 --> 00:13:36,559 - Murderer! Murderer! - No, no, shut up, shut up. 271 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,327 No, no, no, you're fine. 272 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,962 - Murderer! - You're fine. You're alive! Shh, shh, shh! 273 00:13:39,996 --> 00:13:44,867 - You are mur... - No, no! I am not a murderer, 274 00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:47,237 you stupid head! 275 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:53,008 - Figured out the power problem! - Okay, now, 276 00:13:53,009 --> 00:13:57,547 the rabbit goes around the tree and back into the hole. 277 00:13:57,580 --> 00:14:00,550 Is the dehydrated milk up here somew... 278 00:14:00,583 --> 00:14:02,251 The hell are you doing? 279 00:14:02,252 --> 00:14:05,055 - Killing myself. - Why, other than the obvious? 280 00:14:05,088 --> 00:14:07,890 Well, sometimes killing ourselves is the most 281 00:14:07,891 --> 00:14:10,693 noble thing we can do for our fellow survivors. 282 00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,695 Have you ever thought about it? 283 00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:14,564 Okay, nope, get that thing off your neck. 284 00:14:14,597 --> 00:14:18,701 Uh-oh. You know what we have on our hands here, Cyril? 285 00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:21,749 A dirty mutineer. 286 00:14:34,714 --> 00:14:37,249 "And finally, to my crewmates: 287 00:14:37,283 --> 00:14:39,085 I regret leaving this world so early, 288 00:14:39,118 --> 00:14:42,589 but I shall see you in the next." Good? 289 00:14:42,622 --> 00:14:46,125 Then maybe something like, um, "All my love, Cyril. 290 00:14:46,225 --> 00:14:48,227 P.S.: Please eat me." 291 00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:51,130 Hmm. Yeah. 292 00:14:51,230 --> 00:14:53,600 See? He thinks it's good too. 293 00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:55,902 Now let's find you a load-bearing pipe. 294 00:15:03,475 --> 00:15:07,246 Hello? Can anyone hear me? 295 00:15:07,279 --> 00:15:08,647 Over. 296 00:15:08,648 --> 00:15:10,281 Ooh! What about eye patches? 297 00:15:10,282 --> 00:15:12,952 I mean, we don't actually have to have our eyes cut out 298 00:15:12,985 --> 00:15:14,954 to wear them... unless you want to. 299 00:15:14,987 --> 00:15:16,454 Can anyone hear me? 300 00:15:16,455 --> 00:15:19,091 Arr, this is Space Pirate Cheryl. Go ahead. 301 00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:20,960 There's a psycho loose on the ship! 302 00:15:20,993 --> 00:15:23,395 She's brainwashing the crew to kill themselves 303 00:15:23,429 --> 00:15:26,632 - so she can eat us! - Sterling! 304 00:15:26,633 --> 00:15:29,068 Cheryl, listen to me. We have to go in there! 305 00:15:29,101 --> 00:15:30,903 Duh, of course we have to go in there. 306 00:15:30,937 --> 00:15:34,272 There's someone brainwashing people into killing themselves! 307 00:15:34,273 --> 00:15:35,941 - Hurry up! - Let's go! 308 00:15:35,942 --> 00:15:37,508 All right, me hearties, open up! 309 00:15:37,509 --> 00:15:39,311 Here be breakfast! 310 00:15:39,345 --> 00:15:43,650 Well, well, well. Looks like we have 311 00:15:43,683 --> 00:15:46,485 a dirty traitor in our midst. 312 00:15:46,518 --> 00:15:49,138 I think you know what to do, Cyril. 313 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,495 What the hell is this? 314 00:15:56,528 --> 00:15:59,531 - Cyril's trying to kill me! - Then I'm gonna kill myself. 315 00:15:59,632 --> 00:16:01,166 Then they want us to eat them. 316 00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:04,704 - Smart. - Cyril, you idiot, Price is space-mad. 317 00:16:04,804 --> 00:16:06,873 She convinced her crew to kill themselves 318 00:16:06,973 --> 00:16:09,976 - so she could eat them. - Wh... Wow. 319 00:16:10,009 --> 00:16:12,278 I... never. 320 00:16:12,311 --> 00:16:15,715 I am Glenda Macmillan Price, 321 00:16:15,815 --> 00:16:17,950 intergalactic hero, 322 00:16:17,984 --> 00:16:21,226 and I'll be damned if you'll accuse me... 323 00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:26,859 Hey, guys? We're down to auxiliary power. 324 00:16:26,893 --> 00:16:28,861 No way to know how that happened. 325 00:16:28,895 --> 00:16:31,530 But I do have an idea. Captain Price, you said 326 00:16:31,563 --> 00:16:33,966 your ship was lodged in the digestive tract, 327 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,669 - but it's not out of power, correct? - That's right. 328 00:16:36,703 --> 00:16:39,487 Well, if the fuel rods are undamaged, conceivably, we could 329 00:16:39,488 --> 00:16:42,272 hook up our generator to the Tristan, throw the switch, 330 00:16:42,341 --> 00:16:44,376 and it could generate enough heat 331 00:16:44,410 --> 00:16:46,813 possibly to induce vomiting. 332 00:16:46,846 --> 00:16:48,715 - What the hell is that sound? - Those are the giant 333 00:16:48,748 --> 00:16:50,582 man-eating parasites that have been chasing us 334 00:16:50,683 --> 00:16:54,155 since Archer set off the blast charges Price told us not to! 335 00:16:54,190 --> 00:16:56,756 I think we all learned a valuable lesson from that 336 00:16:56,856 --> 00:16:59,225 that we wouldn't have known otherwise, and... 337 00:16:59,258 --> 00:17:00,692 ...now we know. 338 00:17:02,361 --> 00:17:05,030 You idiot! I've been successfully hiding 339 00:17:05,031 --> 00:17:07,382 - from those things for years! - Hey, how about this? 340 00:17:07,383 --> 00:17:10,101 I say we try Krieger's idea. Lana, get behind the wheel 341 00:17:10,102 --> 00:17:11,737 and get this sucker ready to blow out of here. 342 00:17:11,738 --> 00:17:15,540 - Cyril, stop trying to kill yourself. - Aw, Archer. 343 00:17:15,541 --> 00:17:18,544 Help Krieger ready the boosters, then kill yourself if you want. 344 00:17:18,577 --> 00:17:20,412 Captain, you're coming with me and Pam back to your ship 345 00:17:20,446 --> 00:17:22,181 to show us where the fuel rods are. 346 00:17:22,214 --> 00:17:25,117 Then we hook them up and get the hell out. 347 00:17:25,217 --> 00:17:29,756 Whoohoo! Suicide cult, here I come! 348 00:17:32,424 --> 00:17:34,593 Damn it! How does this beast stay alive 349 00:17:34,626 --> 00:17:37,763 - with all these parasites? - Yeah. Plus I think we saw a tumor. 350 00:17:37,764 --> 00:17:39,531 He seems so young, too. 351 00:17:44,070 --> 00:17:47,602 Come on! I was about to do my finishing move. 352 00:17:53,245 --> 00:17:54,947 Hey, wait a minute, 353 00:17:54,981 --> 00:17:57,449 I thought you said the crew ran out of rations, Price. 354 00:17:57,483 --> 00:18:00,887 Fine! Yes! I went space-crazy, okay? 355 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,223 I killed some of the crew, some killed each other at my order, 356 00:18:04,256 --> 00:18:07,459 and others killed themselves to escape my bloodthirsty wrath. 357 00:18:07,493 --> 00:18:09,495 You're like a dog with a bone about this. 358 00:18:09,595 --> 00:18:12,998 - God! - All right, here, hook them up. 359 00:18:12,999 --> 00:18:15,434 There's just one problem. 360 00:18:15,467 --> 00:18:17,102 Archer, what the hell is taking so long? 361 00:18:17,103 --> 00:18:18,636 We have to get moving. 362 00:18:18,637 --> 00:18:20,105 Uh, we've got a little problem. 363 00:18:20,106 --> 00:18:22,973 - What is it? - When we transfer power between the ships, 364 00:18:22,975 --> 00:18:25,444 the Seamus will immediately shoot out of this thing... 365 00:18:25,477 --> 00:18:28,029 Hopefully through its mouth and not its duke chute. 366 00:18:28,064 --> 00:18:30,950 Shut up, Pam. But in doing so, 367 00:18:30,983 --> 00:18:33,953 whoever powers up the Tristan will be left behind. 368 00:18:33,986 --> 00:18:36,455 Over? 369 00:18:36,488 --> 00:18:38,757 - Well... - Wait, what's that? 370 00:18:38,791 --> 00:18:42,128 I-I can barely hear you. 371 00:18:44,363 --> 00:18:47,499 - Price should stay back? - I didn't hear anything. 372 00:18:48,801 --> 00:18:50,536 Unanimous vote, you say? 373 00:18:50,636 --> 00:18:52,704 Well, looks like the people have spoken. 374 00:18:52,805 --> 00:18:55,174 So give us, like, to the count of 60 to get back, 375 00:18:55,207 --> 00:18:58,277 - then juice this baby up. - The hell I'm staying back! 376 00:18:58,310 --> 00:19:00,379 Glenda Price didn't eat directly out 377 00:19:00,479 --> 00:19:03,349 of a bridge crewman's eye socket to die here today. 378 00:19:03,382 --> 00:19:05,818 Price, listen, you're a self-obsessed megalomaniac 379 00:19:05,852 --> 00:19:08,687 who sacrificed her crew for her own survival. 380 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,420 You only ever thought of yourself. 381 00:19:10,489 --> 00:19:12,057 - You're a villain. - Ugh. 382 00:19:12,058 --> 00:19:14,026 But in your final moments, you can be remembered 383 00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:16,982 for all the good you did instead of your, 384 00:19:16,983 --> 00:19:20,949 - you know, cannibalism. - But how would people know 385 00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:22,701 what I did to save you all? 386 00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:26,472 Here, I'll record your heroic farewell. 387 00:19:26,505 --> 00:19:30,342 And I promise, the entire galaxy will hear it. 388 00:19:30,376 --> 00:19:34,914 Okay. This is Captain Glenda Price of the Tristan. 389 00:19:35,014 --> 00:19:38,985 Of all the many humanitarian missions I've been on, 390 00:19:39,018 --> 00:19:41,153 all the lives I've saved, 391 00:19:41,187 --> 00:19:45,324 this last act of bravery shall be my greatest. 392 00:19:45,357 --> 00:19:48,827 Sure, there will be songs of my courage 393 00:19:48,861 --> 00:19:52,531 and statues in my honor. 394 00:19:52,564 --> 00:19:56,235 But know that serving my fellow man... 395 00:19:58,871 --> 00:20:02,574 ...it was my privilege. 396 00:20:02,608 --> 00:20:05,011 Get out of here! 397 00:20:05,677 --> 00:20:09,854 - Captain's orders! - Aye, aye, Captain. 398 00:20:11,083 --> 00:20:12,851 For what it's worth, I would have liked being 399 00:20:12,885 --> 00:20:15,387 an outlaw space pirate with you! 400 00:20:15,421 --> 00:20:18,389 Even though you're kind of mean and mostly electromagnets, 401 00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:20,126 you're still my favorite! 402 00:20:20,226 --> 00:20:24,596 I hope this thing chews you like gum, you crazy bitch. 403 00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:27,233 - All right, Lana, light it up. - Krieger, are we ready to go? 404 00:20:27,266 --> 00:20:30,769 - Yep, yep, yep. - Okay. Captain Price, for the final time, 405 00:20:30,802 --> 00:20:34,440 please power up for liftoff, you brave, brave soul. 406 00:20:34,473 --> 00:20:36,373 Aye, aye. 407 00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:41,380 Jesus Christ, it's one goddamn button, Price. 408 00:20:41,413 --> 00:20:43,449 How hard is it not to screw up the last moment of your life? 409 00:20:48,654 --> 00:20:50,789 It's working! 410 00:20:53,092 --> 00:20:55,494 It's working. Hold on. Here we go. 411 00:21:00,899 --> 00:21:03,635 That's them! They got out! 412 00:21:03,669 --> 00:21:09,441 - Fly away, you idiot! Fly away! - Stop yelling at me! 413 00:21:12,178 --> 00:21:16,482 Is it just me, or is this literally the best tea 414 00:21:16,515 --> 00:21:19,651 - in the entire galaxy? - That's probably the opium talking. 415 00:21:19,685 --> 00:21:22,488 Chasing that space dragon. Rawr! 416 00:21:22,651 --> 00:21:26,922 So now not only am I not a part of a suicide cult. 417 00:21:26,955 --> 00:21:29,700 I'm never gonna get a chance to be ever again. 418 00:21:29,735 --> 00:21:30,524 There, there, dear. 419 00:21:30,592 --> 00:21:33,495 You're dead to me. That must count for something. 420 00:21:33,595 --> 00:21:36,047 Aw, thanks. Hey, I forgot to ask... 421 00:21:36,048 --> 00:21:39,067 - how did you end up getting out of there? - We were able to generate 422 00:21:39,101 --> 00:21:41,903 enough heat from the fuel rods that the Zarglorp spit us out. 423 00:21:41,937 --> 00:21:43,939 Oh, of course... the extra fuel rods 424 00:21:43,972 --> 00:21:45,741 in the downstairs storage room. 425 00:21:45,774 --> 00:21:48,744 I was hoping you'd find those. Glad they worked out. 426 00:21:48,777 --> 00:21:51,621 Yeah, worked out for everybody. 427 00:21:52,414 --> 00:21:54,416 So you gonna upload Price's farewell 428 00:21:54,450 --> 00:21:57,685 - so the entire galaxy can hear it? - Are you kidding me? 429 00:21:57,686 --> 00:21:59,955 - I wasn't recording that. - Wait, what? 430 00:21:59,988 --> 00:22:01,923 What about your promise? 431 00:22:01,957 --> 00:22:06,362 - Wow, you really are an asshole. - Oh, I'm the asshole. 432 00:22:06,462 --> 00:22:09,323 Lana, that lady ate people. 433 00:22:10,098 --> 00:22:13,502 Hey, I could really go for a Moscow Mousse. 434 00:22:13,535 --> 00:22:15,556 You want one? 435 00:22:16,232 --> 00:22:20,731 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 34739

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