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Today is our 10th
Friendiversary.
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00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:10,227
10 years ago, four kids entereda Chuck E. Cheese ball pit
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00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:13,839
as strangers,
but they emerged...
4
00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:15,319
[ Sniffles ]
5
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,234
They emerged
best friends.
6
00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,758
[ Wailing ]
7
00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:22,283
I promised myself
I wouldn't do this!
8
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:26,069
Let's skip the speech
and go straight to dessert.
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00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:29,203
[ R&B music plays ]
10
00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:31,335
♪ In a Chuck E. Cheese
11
00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:34,338
♪ These four boys will meet
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00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:38,125
♪ It's our Friendiversary
13
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:40,083
♪ Friendiversary
14
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:44,522
♪ We're Snot, we're Barry,
we're Steve, and Toshi ♪
15
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,872
♪ It's our Friendiversary
16
00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:49,701
♪ Friendiversary
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00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:56,447
♪ It's our
Friendiversary-y-y-y-y ♪
18
00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:59,363
Squash, squash, squash!
Squash, squash!
19
00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:01,322
Roger needs
a squash partner!
20
00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:02,758
-Roger!
-Steve!
21
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:04,542
Big squash tourney
tomorrow.
22
00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:06,892
I need you to be
my squash partner.
23
00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:07,893
Squash.
24
00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:09,504
I don't even know
what squash is.
25
00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,810
What?!Everyone knows squash.
26
00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:13,203
-Roger.
-Squash.
27
00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:14,683
It's our Friendiversary.
28
00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:17,686
My week is jam-packed
with friendship activities.
29
00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:19,688
Jam-packed!
30
00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:21,342
But, Steve --
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00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,344
I'm not gonna
ditch my friends.
32
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,694
Sorry, you'll need to find
another squash partner.
33
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:27,348
Everybody at the club
is paired up,
34
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:30,177
and the club doesn't allow
blacks, Jews, or women.
35
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:33,180
That rules out my tennis
partner, Rashika Greenblatt.
36
00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:36,270
The racism is thick, but so is
the club's lobster bisque,
37
00:01:36,313 --> 00:01:39,055
which is why
I'll never walk away.
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00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,579
♪♪
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00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:44,234
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
40
00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:48,064
♪ I got a feelin' thatit's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
41
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,198
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
42
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:55,854
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
43
00:01:57,421 --> 00:02:00,598
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
44
00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:03,384
♪ Good -- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
45
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,385
Aah!
46
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:09,041
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
47
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:13,742
If you have
the legendary shards,
48
00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:16,223
I recommend you visit Xur
on Titan
49
00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:18,790
and purchase the Wardcliff CoilRocket Launcher.
50
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,227
[ Groans ]
51
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:24,056
Then get the legendary shards,you [bleep] licking suckboy!
52
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,232
Third graders.
53
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,407
I can't believe it.
54
00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,191
I asked Steve
to play squash
55
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,367
and he wouldn't cancel plans
with his friends.
56
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,064
Those guys are tight,bro.
57
00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:33,979
They remind me of
my boys in Tampa.
58
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:35,546
You don't have friends
in Tampa.
59
00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:37,331
[ Chuckling ]
Okay, pal.
60
00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:38,810
Then why do I
have a tattoo
61
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:41,857
of an alligator in a bikinidriving down I-4?
62
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:44,425
[ Man screams]Oh, you made me lose!
63
00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:48,255
Make him lose...
his friends.
64
00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:50,474
Excellent idea, Klaus!
65
00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:51,997
[ Woman shouting indistinctly]
66
00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:55,479
Slow down, lady.
Your son is a liar.
67
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:56,611
What?!
68
00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:58,265
He was the one swearing at me,
69
00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:00,354
and he made a Chinese joke!
70
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,442
[ Shouting continues ]
71
00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:04,271
Oh, w-- Well, I'm Chinese, too!
72
00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:08,275
[ Urinating, humming ]
73
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,581
Man,
look at the splash back.
74
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,583
Got that
Super Soaker thrust.
75
00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:14,803
You're just painting those
Entertainment Weekly's
76
00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:16,631
in the magazine rack.[ Zips pants ]
77
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:18,720
Your flattery won't get meto play squash.
78
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:20,330
Squ-what?
[ Laughs ]
79
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,027
I haven't thought about that
in ages.
80
00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:24,291
You seemed really into it,like, 10 minutes ago.
81
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:27,381
Speaking of minutes ago,
82
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,600
how many has it been
since Barry ate?
83
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,820
What a fat guy,
don't you think?
84
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:33,300
He does struggle
with weight,
85
00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:36,259
but I love my Care Bare,big or small.
86
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:37,826
Speaking of small,
87
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:40,481
what about Snot's bank account,am I right?
88
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:44,267
Oh, Snotter, so poor in money,so rich in character.
89
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,486
You're impossible.
90
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:46,661
I'm not gonna
keep recording over
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00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:49,054
all my great business ideas
for this crap.
92
00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:52,841
Roger: A novelty device that transforms Julia Child's voice
93
00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:55,278
into a deep,
scary monster voice.
94
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:56,845
Oh, wait.
Oh, wait, did I miss my stop?
95
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,195
I'm looking for
the ferry to Alcatraz.
96
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,979
Or is it swimmable?
I'm on a budget.
97
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:03,199
This is my first time
in San Francisco.
98
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,853
That's not true.
Why did I say that?
99
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:08,291
I almost lost this
because of you!
100
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,166
This is
pretty interesting.
101
00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:16,734
Four 12-year-old kidsdesigned a computer
102
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,649
that destroyed
all of Cincinnati.
103
00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,521
-Wow.
-Oh, misread it.
104
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,653
It was 412 1-year-olds.
105
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,438
That's a lot
less interesting.
106
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,091
You guys aren't gonna
believe this.
107
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:27,310
Jeff has a talent!
108
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,659
-Bullshit.
-It's true.
109
00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:30,487
We were just watchingthe house-renovation show
110
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:33,098
"Flip or Flop,"and Jeff knew when to flip
111
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,665
and he knew when to flop.
112
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:35,579
I did.
113
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,320
How is this possible?
114
00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,888
Mom, when you look around
the house, what do you see?
115
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:41,455
Walls.
116
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:42,499
Just a lot of walls.
117
00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,893
[ Scoffs ] Walls.
What a noob.
118
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:47,156
What do we see, Jeff,you and I?
119
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,114
When I look at a house,
120
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:51,465
I can see
beyond the walls...
121
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,684
-Uh-huh.
-...above the ceiling...
122
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,904
-That's right.
-...and below the floor.
123
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:59,516
-Bingo.
-I can see its bones.
124
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,126
Happy now, Francine?
125
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:04,129
If we combine his instincts
with your money,
126
00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:05,479
the sky's the limit.
127
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,350
The sky, you say?
128
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:11,833
He's surveying
the bones of our house.
129
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:14,357
He is? Well,
don't hold out on us, Jeff.
130
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:15,402
What do you see?
131
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:19,406
[ Breathes deeply ]
132
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:23,584
Your house
has great bones.
133
00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:26,413
-[ Sighs ]
-Wow, he's good.
134
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,371
Do me, do me!
How are my bones?
135
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,720
[ Breathes deeply ]
136
00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:33,158
You're not a house,
Mr. S.
137
00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:35,813
A goddamn master.
138
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,601
Kick those legs,
Barry!
139
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:42,907
I can't do it!
Swan!
140
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:46,171
I'll never learn to swim.
141
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:47,956
[ Coaxingly ] Barry.
142
00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:49,610
Barry.
143
00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:51,089
[ Chuckles ]
144
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:52,526
Stop making me laugh.
145
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,223
There's that smile!
146
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,965
Aww, I love you guys.
147
00:05:57,008 --> 00:06:00,403
Steve, I set up a cabana
and filled it with strippers.
148
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:01,752
Roger, go away.
149
00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,624
It's Friendiversary
swim day.
150
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:07,236
Why don't you come over here
and swim into some strange?
151
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,413
This is Steve, the underage boyI was telling you about.
152
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,023
You really don't get it,huh?
153
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,677
These are my friends,
154
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,462
and I'll neverturn my back on them.
155
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,507
You can tell yourself that,
but you'll slip up,
156
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,422
just like I told myself I was
never gonna see
157
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,555
another Woody Allen movie,
but there I was,
158
00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:23,426
first in line
for "Blue Jasmine."
159
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,994
So boring, so good.
160
00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,561
[ Dog barking,
siren wailing in distance ]
161
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,606
This neighborhood
looks kind of seedy.
162
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:32,435
Is that a Satanic church
next door?
163
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,219
They practice Santería.
164
00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:38,223
I don't know the difference,but I'm told there is one.
165
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:40,661
Has anyone died in here?
166
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,445
It feels like
someone died in here.
167
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:43,794
No! God no.
168
00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,883
The last owner was stabbed
in the house,
169
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:49,496
but he managed to crawl
to the lawn before he died.
170
00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,454
Jeff,
tell us about the house.
171
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:56,154
Quite possibly the greatest
bones I've ever seen.
172
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:58,505
Let's see them bones!
173
00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:00,681
What the hell
are you doing?!
174
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:02,683
You know what?
Screw it.
175
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:05,033
I'm quitting
this industry.
176
00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:09,690
I have quit a lot of industries,though.
177
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,039
I'm reconsidering.
178
00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:14,695
Guess what.
I'm back, babies!
179
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:17,262
Aah!
180
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:20,048
You know what?
I'm quitting this body.
181
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:23,747
I have quit a lot of bodies,
though.
182
00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:25,619
I'm reconsidering.
183
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:29,318
[ Screaming ]
184
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,887
10 years ago,
we met within the hallowed
185
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:36,281
and ultimately unprofitable
walls of this Chuck E. Cheese.
186
00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:39,415
The ball pit gave life
to our friendship.
187
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,678
But it also gave life
to a super fungus
188
00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:43,680
that blinded an entire
Little League team
189
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,508
and closed the doors
forever.
190
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:48,293
And now we immortalize
our friendship
191
00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:50,121
with some
light vandalism.
192
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:58,652
Ugh, Toshi,
that sucks.
193
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,088
Announcer: That's right, Banksy.
194
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:02,699
"American Dad's"
calling you a hack!
195
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,919
Reveal your identity
and fight us.
196
00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:07,182
"American Dad" --
We are...
197
00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:13,231
[ Gravely voice ]
Who disturbs my slumber?
198
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:15,538
[ Boys screaming ]
199
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,148
Aah!
200
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,890
You vandalized
my beautiful home!
201
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,326
It wasn't my idea!
202
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,546
Uh, Snot, Barry, and Toshimade me do it!
203
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,679
[ Julia Child's voice ]
Whoa, you turned on
your friends so fast.
204
00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:27,419
I didn't even get to...
205
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,770
[ Gravely voice ] ...clamp
your balls in a mouse trap.
206
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,249
Clamp their balls,
not mine!
207
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:34,252
T-They can't be far.I'll -- I'll help you find them.
208
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:36,690
Toshi lives closest.I say we go there first.
209
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:39,344
[ Gasps ]And we can trap Barrywith food.
210
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:42,130
He'll eat himself to deathlike a goldfish.
211
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,175
There's a lot of fightin Snot,
212
00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:45,829
but we can nab himwhen he's weakest --
213
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:48,223
right afterhe sells his plasma.
214
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:51,139
Nah,
I've got rat stuff to do.
215
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,620
Good luck digging yourself
out of this hole, Steve.
216
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:55,360
How do you know
my name?
217
00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:56,579
Uh...
218
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,625
[ Julia Child's voice ]
Chuck E. Cheese knows
219
00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:00,322
all the children's names.
220
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:08,504
So...should we report the guy inthe rat costume
221
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,766
assaulting kids?
[ Chuckles ]
222
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:13,857
I'm more concerned about
the rat in the guy costume
223
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,598
assaulting friendships.
224
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,731
-Snotter --
-Don't Snotter me.
225
00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,167
You betrayed us!
226
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:23,214
I haven't felt this betrayedsince "Scrubs" moved to ABC!
227
00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:26,261
How old were you
when that happened?
228
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:30,395
Well, how old am I now and whenwas that, and now subtract.
229
00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:31,875
Think, Snot.
Think!
230
00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:35,618
This bad blood --
this is on you!
231
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,101
Snot, please take me back
as a friend.
232
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:41,798
I can't get Bluetooth to sync,
233
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:44,888
but pretend it's playing
your favorite Matisyahu song.
234
00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:46,455
So I should just pretend
235
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:50,198
his entire catalogue is playingat the same time?
236
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:51,416
Fat chance!
237
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:55,377
You backstabbed usduring Friendiversary!
238
00:09:58,249 --> 00:09:59,511
0-for-3.
239
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:02,776
I'd say you're 3-for-3
at losing your friends.
240
00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,081
Perfect record, bud.
241
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,214
Thanks for puttinga positive spin on it.
242
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:08,477
Looks like you'rethe only friend I have left.
243
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:11,654
We all make mistakes, but life
is like a game of squash.
244
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:12,829
You got to
keep on whackin'.
245
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:15,136
I forgot all about
your tournament.
246
00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:15,919
Rotten Steve!
247
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,486
You stop that right now.
248
00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:19,880
I doubt there's even time
to enter the tournament.
249
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,273
Well,
we could make the cutoff.
250
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,145
But we wouldn't be able to
take my friend Nancy's
251
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:26,016
hot aerobics class
before.
252
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,365
Would you
be willing to play
253
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:29,367
without taking Nancy's
hot aerobics, Steve?
254
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,152
Honestly,
we won't be as loose.
255
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,850
Okay.I'll be your squash partner.
256
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:36,026
You're giving me a second chance
at friendship,
257
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:38,376
and this time,I'm gonna do it right.
258
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:40,335
Oh!
-You're doing it wrong!
259
00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:42,337
Damn it, Steve,
clear a path!
260
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,730
You got it, friend.
261
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,079
Get a clue, Steve.
262
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:46,776
[Bleep]
263
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,604
Well played, Chip.
Your serve.
264
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,476
Hey, Rog, the kid'sall covered in welts.
265
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,087
-Your serve, Chip.
-How about we call it?
266
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,479
How about you serve,
Chip?
267
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:55,916
[ Sighs ]
268
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,658
Okay, Steve, clear that path
and we got this.
269
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:06,970
[ Slow motion ]
Clear a path!
270
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,279
Path!
271
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:13,890
Clear it!
272
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,327
Aah!
273
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:18,112
[Bleep]
274
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:22,769
Hell of a game.
Nice backhand today, Bob.
275
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:23,987
My partner
just didn't have it.
276
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,554
Is he gonna be okay?
277
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:26,729
Are you gonna be okay?
278
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:28,949
Hey, you just worry about
the next round.
279
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,864
Go win this thing.
280
00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:33,562
What are we doing next?
281
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:34,824
I don't understand.
282
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:36,173
You're acting like
we're friends,
283
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:39,002
but you're bad at squash.
What am I missing here?
284
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:40,961
You're missing
high-quality backpacks
285
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,919
made out of
recycled materials!
286
00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:44,747
-I am?
-[ Mockingly ] "I am?"
287
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:45,879
[ Laughs ]
Just kidding.
288
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,358
Step inside.
I'll hook you up.
289
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:49,230
-Steve, I'm gonna do this.
-I'll come with.
290
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:50,884
[ Mockingly ] "I'll come with."[ Laughs ]
291
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:53,974
You're worse than this guy.
-You stay.
292
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,932
You are really funny.
293
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:00,371
[ Dog barking ]
294
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,375
They don't make bones like thisanymore.
295
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,334
Damn right.
So, what's the next step?
296
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:09,250
Renovations?
-And cover up these bones?
297
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:12,644
Mr. S, are you the stupidestperson I've ever met?
298
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,429
-Jeff!
-No, he's right.
299
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:16,387
I spoke out of turn.
Go on, Jeff.
300
00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,563
It's time to
flip this house,
301
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:22,611
and I recommend we only considerall-cash offers.
302
00:12:22,654 --> 00:12:25,266
A goddamn master.
303
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:28,791
[ Groans ]
304
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:30,575
I wish you weren't married,
Chip.
305
00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:33,448
I bet your wife doesn't do this,Chip.
306
00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:34,928
[ Warbling ]
307
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:37,017
Wakey, wakey.
308
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,714
I made you
breakfast in bed.
309
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,585
It's cold because
it's almost dinnertime.
310
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:43,153
-Okay, we need to talk.
-Best friend talk.
311
00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:45,373
-Shut up and listen to me.
-Best friend listen.
312
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:47,679
Our so-called "friendship"was based on
313
00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:51,074
a mutual love of squash,which you didn't share.
314
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:52,380
This is over.
315
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,164
But --
But you're my only friend!
316
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,949
No.
Now clear a path.
317
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,951
Sure thing, buddy.
[ Laughs ]
318
00:12:57,994 --> 00:13:00,431
See?
We can make this work.
319
00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:02,956
You've got a clingy friend
on your hands, bro.
320
00:13:02,999 --> 00:13:04,609
[ Scoffs ]I'm gonna head over to the pier
321
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:06,394
and work onmy robot man routine.
322
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:08,613
Everything will be normalby the time I get back.
323
00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:11,965
Ahh, there's so many sick piers
in Tampa.
324
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:13,618
My boy Vance
basically lives there.
325
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:16,621
He makes bank selling
butterfly knives to tourists.
326
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,885
Nobody believesyou have friends in Tampa.
327
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:23,846
Oh, yeah? Then where did I get
skin cancer, smart guy?
328
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:26,414
[ Coaster riders screaming ]
329
00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:30,070
Beep, boop,
beep, beep, boop.
330
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:31,985
Beep, boop, boop, beep...
331
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:33,900
Dad,
that robot wants money.
332
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:36,990
...beep, beep,
boop, boop, beep...
333
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,862
Stay away from him.
These guys have diseases.
334
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,037
Shut up!
You don't know me.
335
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:43,126
You're just
a lucky guesser.
336
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,693
Beep, boop, beep --
337
00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:47,348
I'm Robot Man's best friend,
Gold Boy.
338
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:48,697
[ Whispering ]
It's me -- Steve.
339
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:50,525
[ Robot voice ]
Get lost, Gold Boy.
340
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,135
[ Normal voice ]
No can do.
341
00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:54,268
I'm your sidekick
for all eternity.
342
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:56,096
[ Whispering ]
And in real life, too.
343
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:57,749
-Beep, boop!
-Aah!
344
00:13:57,793 --> 00:14:01,101
Beep.
345
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,059
[ Knock on door ]
346
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,148
Hello! Welcome.
347
00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,107
So, it's protective bootiesfor everyone.
348
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:09,065
I'm sure you've noticedthe bones.
Huh?
349
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:10,806
So, we're asking
potential buyers
350
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,940
for a heartfelt letter outliningwhy you should get the house.
351
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:17,030
Sorry, I thought
this house was abandoned.
352
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:18,683
See,
my girlfriend has diarrhea,
353
00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:20,772
and I wanted to
shoot up a little.
354
00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:24,124
Damn it!No one wants this house.
355
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:27,127
Nobody cares about bones.
356
00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:28,737
Jeff screwed us!
357
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,565
Jeffrey,
is this true?
358
00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:31,827
Did you screw us?
359
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,307
Looks like I did,
Mr. S.
360
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:35,048
Okay,
you can kill him.
361
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,484
Run, babe!
362
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:39,879
We're all gonna needfresh booties to go back in!
363
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:45,145
[ Gargling ]
364
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:47,712
I can't
get rid of Steve.
365
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,759
[ Chuckles ]Courtney, my boy in Tampa,
366
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:51,978
he had a clinger like this.
367
00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:53,718
Florida State girl.
368
00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:54,763
You know how that goes.
369
00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:56,330
Actually, I don't,
and neither do you
370
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:58,201
because none of those people
exist.
371
00:14:58,245 --> 00:14:59,768
I have an actual crisis!
372
00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,117
What did you expect?
373
00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:04,599
You blew up his entire supportsystem for a squash partner.
374
00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,079
[ Doorknob rattles ]Steve: Roger, you in there?
375
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,123
You going wee-wee?
376
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,211
What do I do, Klaus?
377
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,083
Instead of losing Steve,
378
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:14,174
you should be reuniting himwith his old friends.
379
00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:16,741
[ Drill whirs ]
380
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,047
Peek-a-boo!
381
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,092
Aah!
382
00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:20,441
You got me, buddy!
383
00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,617
How can I reunite Steve
and his friends?
384
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:25,185
Well, to learn about that, youhave to learn about friendship,
385
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,143
and if you want tolearn about friendship,
386
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:29,537
we have to go
to Tampa.
387
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,756
There's no way
you have friends in Tampa.
388
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,237
But a little trip to get away
from Steve, I'm in.
389
00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:36,544
Pack for the heat.You got any tank tops?
390
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:39,416
I have a framed sleeveless
Aaron Rodgers jersey.
391
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:41,549
Hmm.Do you own a glass cutter?
392
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,594
I do,
but it's also framed.
393
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:44,813
Okay, grab both frames
394
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,207
and we'll figure it outon the way to the airport.
395
00:15:49,905 --> 00:15:54,344
♪♪
396
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:55,867
[ Cellphone chimes ]
397
00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:57,391
Steve won't stop texting.
398
00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:59,828
"In line at
a goat cheese sale.
399
00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:01,134
Pick you up a log?"
400
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,005
Can you believe
this guy?
401
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,267
"Two logs."
402
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:05,486
Relax.
403
00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:08,141
Steve just has toreunite with his old friends,
404
00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:10,621
and once you see how tight
me and my boys are,
405
00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:12,884
you'll know how to
make that happen.
406
00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:17,019
Now stop worrying and take inthese Florida swamps.
407
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,239
Wow,
so these are the people
408
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:21,676
who decide who's president
every time.
409
00:16:21,719 --> 00:16:25,027
We gon' make Hulk Hogan
president!
410
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,073
You know best!
411
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,816
There's a doorbell.
412
00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:34,036
[ Electricity crackles,
sour notes play ]
413
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,516
When you show up
at a friend's house,
414
00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:38,258
make sure you bring
a fancy gift.
415
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,695
Here, give these blunt wraps
to Big Ed.
416
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:42,697
You're gonna
love these dudes.
417
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,220
They're so funny.
418
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:46,962
'Sup?
419
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,182
'Sup?
420
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,184
Whoa, no way.
421
00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:53,838
Your friends arereal.
422
00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:57,233
Look at this. There's an inside,and more guys!
423
00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:59,540
This is my boy, Roger.
He's chill.
424
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,324
He's here to learn about
friendship.
425
00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:03,109
-'Sup?
-'Sup?
426
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:05,720
Whoa, Klaus' storiesare for real?
427
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,897
I can't believe it.Astroturf rug -- check.
428
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:12,074
Unlicensedexotic animal storage -- check.
429
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,249
The fan that's never on
430
00:17:13,293 --> 00:17:16,513
despite it being120 degrees in here -- check.
431
00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:19,212
But surely the torn posterwas a work of fiction.
432
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:21,344
[ Gasps ]
The torn poster!
433
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,216
In all its glory.
434
00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:26,654
Please, please take me tothe toilet Big Ed cracked
435
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:28,264
when he sat on it
backwards.
436
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:30,353
What the hell
are you doing out there?
437
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:32,138
What? I was chill.
438
00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:33,313
Was I not chill?
439
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:35,315
No,
you're being all crazy.
440
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:36,751
What was that bullshit
about the fan?
441
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,709
I told you that
in confidence.
442
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:39,710
Okay, sorry.
443
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,364
[ Sighs ]
I'm chill now.
444
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:44,106
[ Snake hissing ]Holy [bleep] is thatthe water moccasin
445
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:47,153
Vance took to the Orlandopremier of "Scary Movie 4"?!
446
00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:48,893
Pull yourself together,
man.
447
00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:51,331
Grab a room-temperature Otterpopfrom the lighter drawer
448
00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:53,898
and just...cool out.
449
00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:56,379
I'll go try to smooth it over
with the guys.
450
00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:59,339
Roger,
where are you going?
451
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:01,167
We haven't solved
your Steve problem.
452
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:04,039
I thinkI got my problem solved.
453
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,128
[ Engine starts ]
454
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,217
♪ Y'all gon' make me
lose my mind ♪
455
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:09,392
♪ Up in here
456
00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:13,353
My mom and dad
are gonna kill us!
457
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,268
Francine: These walls
won't hold forever!
458
00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:16,269
[ Sledgehammer slamming ]
459
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,140
This is all my fault,babe.
460
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:21,361
I never knew anythingabout flipping houses.
461
00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:25,016
I just wantedto be closer to you.
462
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,409
Oh, babe.
463
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,716
I love you
for who you are.
464
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:31,936
Old-Timey Narrator:
And so ends
465
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:36,245
the greatest love story
ever told.
466
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:37,986
♪♪
467
00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:40,293
♪ Y'all gon' make me
act a fool ♪
468
00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:41,381
♪ Up in here, up in here
469
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,644
Roger,
you returned to me!
470
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:45,428
♪ Y'all gon' make me
lose my cool ♪
471
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:46,516
♪ Up in here, up in here
472
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,431
-Whose car is this?
-Buckle up.
473
00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:50,738
We're going to
a Friendiversary event.
474
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:52,653
Oh, those guysdon't want to see me.
475
00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:54,045
Of course
they want to see you.
476
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:56,091
You're gonna save their lives.
-Huh?
477
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,659
♪ 'Cause you a soft type --
What ♪
478
00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:01,401
I figured out how to reunite youwith your friends.
479
00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:03,751
♪ Dog is a dog,
blood's thicker than water ♪
480
00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:06,536
I put a water moccasin
into the Chesterbrook pool,
481
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:09,017
and then I invited your friendsto play Marco Polo
482
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:10,975
with Olympic great
Michael Phelps.
483
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:13,326
People will believe anything
in a Facebook invite.
484
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:14,762
Fake news!
485
00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:16,459
Oh, my God,why would you do that?!
486
00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:20,376
So you can save their lives
and prove your loyalty.
487
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,335
[ Tires screech ]
488
00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:24,467
Go get your friends back.
489
00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,339
When Michael Phelps
shows up,
490
00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:29,385
please don't tell himI'm sitting on six pool noodles.
491
00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:31,431
[ Panting ]
Get out of the pool!
492
00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:32,910
There's a deadly snake!
493
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,434
Save it, Steve.
494
00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:35,391
I know I betrayed you,
495
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:36,784
but you got to believe me!
496
00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:38,089
Save it.
497
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,483
You don't need to pretendto save our lives.
498
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,007
We already forgive you,Steve.
499
00:19:43,051 --> 00:19:44,444
What?
Y-You do?
500
00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:45,706
We got to talking,
501
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:48,012
and a giant rat
grabbing us,
502
00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:49,710
we all would've blabbed.
503
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,804
I can't believe
I got my best friends back.
504
00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:59,023
You were saying somethingabout a snake?
505
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,503
Oh, my God, the snake!
506
00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:02,244
Roger:
What's taking so long?
507
00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:05,247
[ Hisses ]
508
00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:06,727
Loud batch of Natty Ice.
509
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,642
Oh, I dumped the wrong cooler.
510
00:20:08,685 --> 00:20:11,384
There's no snake in here.
511
00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:14,387
Roger must've lied
to reunite us.
512
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:16,215
Barry: Guys, look!
I'm swimming!
513
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:21,307
It's a Friendiversary miracle!
514
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,483
Snake!
515
00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:25,746
[ Screams ]
516
00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:28,879
Man down!
517
00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:33,101
We need to find the biteand suck out the venom!
518
00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,365
All: Ooh!
519
00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:38,324
Inner thigh.
520
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,500
[ Sighs ]
I'll do it.
521
00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:42,415
No.
We're best friends,
522
00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:46,070
and we'll all
suck out the venom.
523
00:20:46,114 --> 00:20:50,858
♪♪
524
00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:53,991
Roger: I think I finally
understand friendship.
525
00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:56,429
Old-Timey Narrator:
And so ends
526
00:20:56,472 --> 00:21:02,173
the greatest love story
ever told.
527
00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:04,132
Have a great night!
37413
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