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1
00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:06,671
[SLICER WHIRRING]
2
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:09,541
Boar's Head?
More like "Bored's Head," right?
3
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,944
I literally said that
joke to you yesterday.
4
00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:14,012
Yeah. I'm stealin' it.
5
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,281
[CHEWS]
6
00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:17,482
TOMMY: Hey, team?
7
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:18,751
Uh, gather round for a sec.
8
00:00:18,753 --> 00:00:20,418
Tommy! Tommy! [LAUGHS]
9
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:21,686
I almost sold a sandwich.
10
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,021
- Why didn't you?
- I dropped it.
11
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,158
But I put it aside so we
can eat it later, chief.
12
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,359
Okay, Dino.
13
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,093
Tommy and Dino to the end!
14
00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:30,562
Right, right. Okay.
15
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:33,898
I'm sorry to say that our
assistant manager George
16
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,700
- passed away last night.
- Who?
17
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,570
George worked here a long
time and loved his work.
18
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:43,041
He even mentioned Sub Hub six
times in his suicide note.
19
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,844
Anyway, we need someone
to take his place.
20
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,379
- What day did you start?
- Tuesday.
21
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,247
- Uh-huh. And you?
- Wednesday.
22
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:51,316
Hayley, looks like you're
our new assistant manager.
23
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,518
But it was Wednesday three years ago.
24
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,520
You know we go
by day of the week, Chloe.
25
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:58,056
So, it's basic stuff...
time cards, inventory,
26
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,325
taking George's dead body
down from the ceiling fan.
27
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:02,260
Cool. Dino, go get George down.
28
00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:03,462
You got it, Hayley!
29
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,497
Hayley and Dino to the end!
30
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,801
Uh, his hands are tied behind his back.
31
00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:10,735
We sure this is a suicide?
32
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,205
Just do your job!
33
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:16,074
♪♪
34
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,076
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
35
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:22,014
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
36
00:01:22,016 --> 00:01:25,017
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
37
00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:29,722
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
38
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:34,893
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
39
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,629
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
40
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:38,664
Aah!
41
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:43,168
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
42
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,570
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
43
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:46,638
JEFF: Hey, babe!
44
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:47,972
Hey, ba... Oh, my God!
45
00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:50,042
Hayley!
Jeff here says you got a promotion.
46
00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,845
Is this true or is Jeff playing
a dirty little trick on me?
47
00:01:52,847 --> 00:01:54,579
Yes! They made me assistant manager.
48
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:55,848
Let him go!
49
00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:57,716
Oh, Hayley!
50
00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:01,053
I've been so disappointed
in you for so long!
51
00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:03,321
Completely given up on you as a father.
52
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:04,989
- You what?
- Oh, yeah!
53
00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:07,192
But now that you've
turned things around,
54
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:08,593
I got you a gift.
55
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:09,662
A day planner?
56
00:02:09,664 --> 00:02:11,463
Yeah. And the best part?
57
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,732
I've already filled it out for you.
58
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,534
"Go to work, go home.
59
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,202
Go to work, go home.
60
00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:18,871
- Go to work, go home."
- Go to work, go home.
61
00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:20,472
- "Go to work, go home."
- Go to work, go home.
62
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,274
Welcome to the long march.
63
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:23,675
Ohh, I envy you.
64
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,410
Just starting out on a job you'll do
65
00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:27,011
for the next 40 years.
66
00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:30,482
The turbulent wave of life's
joy and despair will become...
67
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,084
a flat line.
68
00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:34,486
Eeeeeee!
69
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,554
What?
70
00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:38,022
Soon you'll be marching to work,
71
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:40,158
clockin' in and out, marching home,
72
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,626
over and over and over.
73
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,296
You'll be 30, 40, 50, 60.
74
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,431
Eeeeeee!
75
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:49,902
The march ends at the grave.
76
00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:52,104
It's just a promotion.
77
00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:55,173
There's that vacant stare
of a fellow marcher.
78
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,577
Aw, man, the march!
79
00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:00,178
[HEELS CLICKING]
80
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,313
Did I make a mistake?
81
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,047
I mean, look, I took the promotion
82
00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:05,049
because, like, future is female,
83
00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:07,986
but what if I get trapped
in some monotonous life?
84
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,188
Remember what Dr. Ronson said...
85
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,591
Sometimes your feelings
come out more clearly
86
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,192
in free-style rap.
87
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,395
Babe, do you want me to drop a beat?
88
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:18,730
Maybe you should.
89
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:21,199
[BEATBOXING]
90
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,469
[RAPPING] ♪ I wanted a life
of experience and freshness ♪
91
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:27,405
♪ Don't know that Sub Hub
is the way to get this ♪
92
00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:29,874
♪ Jeff Fischer here,
comin' on the scene ♪
93
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:33,745
♪ I'll support you either way,
babe, we're a team ♪
94
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:36,148
♪ All these little bitches
can suck my [BLEEP] ♪
95
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:39,284
♪ I'll tie Gucci Mane up
and beat him with a stick ♪
96
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:41,486
Gucci Mane, Imma straight up murder you.
97
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,821
I was here before you,
98
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,756
I'll be here long after you, Gucci Mane.
99
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,959
[WHISPERING] Gucci Mane, it's Klaus.
100
00:03:46,961 --> 00:03:49,494
You need to get to the studio right now.
101
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,163
Your girl wants me, Gucci Mane.
102
00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:53,966
You're getting clowned, Gucci Mane!
103
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:56,435
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
104
00:03:57,419 --> 00:04:00,238
That was the worst Uber ride of my life.
105
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,573
It was a nightmare.
106
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,108
How long did he stop at that gas station
107
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,978
- to take a dump?
- Which time?
108
00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:07,579
A-And what about that fish dinner
109
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,981
he was picking at the whole time?
110
00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:10,649
He was only eating the bones!
111
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,050
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
112
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:15,320
"Please let us know how
your ride with Ernie was."
113
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,989
- Ha!
- One star.
114
00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:18,323
[BLEEP] him up, Steve.
115
00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:20,192
I-I feel bad.
116
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:23,862
These guys get fired if
their rating falls below 4.6.
117
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:26,398
I don't want to take
fish off his dashboard.
118
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,266
Fine. Give him four stars.
119
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:32,136
It won't ruin his life,
but it will send a message.
120
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:33,138
[CELLPHONE CLICKS]
121
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,808
Now it's asking how much tip to leave.
122
00:04:35,810 --> 00:04:36,941
Dude, dude, dude!
123
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,111
Type a poop emoji! Do it!
124
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,115
[SLICER CLANKS]
125
00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:52,491
[SIGHS] These guys don't march.
126
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,959
Hayley. No phones at work.
127
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,429
Don't want you thinking
of the outside world.
128
00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:04,436
[SLICER WHIRRING]
129
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:07,439
[SAUCE SPLATTERS]
130
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:08,640
Avocado on that?
131
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,375
[WHIRRING CONTINUES]
132
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:12,711
[OVEN DOOR CREAKS]
133
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:13,846
[SAUCE SPLATTERS]
134
00:05:13,848 --> 00:05:15,514
STAN: Go to work, go home.
135
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:16,448
Avocado on that?
136
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,050
[OVEN DOOR CREAKS]
137
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:19,451
- [SAUCE SPLATTERS]
- Go to work, go home.
138
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,519
Avocado on that?
139
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,387
[OVEN DOOR CREAKS]
140
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,655
- [SAUCE SPLATTERS]
- Go to work, go home.
141
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,656
DINO'S VOICE: Avocado on that?
142
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,258
[OVEN DOOR CREAKS]
143
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:27,659
- [SAUCE SPLATTERS]
- Go to work, go home.
144
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,727
Avocado on that?
145
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,128
[FOOTSTEPS MARCHING]
146
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,530
Go to work, go home.
147
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,398
- Avocado on that?
- [MARCHING CONTINUES]
148
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,867
Go to work, go home.
149
00:05:34,869 --> 00:05:35,734
- Avocado on that?
- Go to work, go home.
150
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,602
- Go to work, go home.
- Avocado on that?
151
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:38,803
[METALLIC SHAVING]
152
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,139
[DINO AND STAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
153
00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:42,407
Aah!
154
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:43,608
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
155
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,477
- Avocado...
- Aah!
156
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,079
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
157
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:49,848
And... done.
158
00:05:51,896 --> 00:05:54,853
Get in. I quit Sub Hub,
and now we live in your van.
159
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,990
[BANJO MUSIC PLAYING]
160
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,459
I did it. I broke free.
161
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:03,329
Bye-bye, Sub Hub!
162
00:06:03,331 --> 00:06:05,463
Smell ya later, road map!
163
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:06,664
And who needs keys?
164
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:08,266
All doors are open.
165
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:09,401
[KEYS JINGLE]
166
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,004
Babe, how are we gonna pay for stuff?
167
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:15,273
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
- Your prayers have been answered.
168
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:17,409
Roger?
Have you been here the whole time?
169
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,144
Yeah. Have you not heard me?
170
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:22,948
I've literally been playing
music back here the whole time.
171
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:25,217
[BANJO MUSIC CONTINUES]
172
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,218
[TWANG]
173
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,819
I know how you can pay for stuff.
174
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:30,422
- [DRUMBEAT]
- You two can be van lifers.
175
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:31,557
Then you monetize it.
176
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,091
What? I'm... I'm confused.
177
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:36,094
He gets it.
Van life is huge on Instagram.
178
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,896
People show themselves living in a van,
179
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:38,964
going to cool places.
180
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:40,698
They get tons of followers,
181
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:41,900
and then companies sponsor them
182
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,969
and pay for their sunset-filled lives.
183
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,571
- Sign us up!
- What's happening?
184
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,905
Now, you'll need an agent
185
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,974
to find those sponsors and do the deals.
186
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,909
And, of course, I am an agent.
187
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,711
Ugh! But, honestly, honestly,
I do not have space
188
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,313
for any new clients right now.
189
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:58,716
Ugh! This is so frustrating
because I like you so much.
190
00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:00,051
I didn't want to like you.
191
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,787
Come on. Be our agent.
192
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,121
I don't have the time!
193
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,523
Unnngh! Lea'me alone!
194
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,259
I promised my wife!
195
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,660
It can't be me!
196
00:07:10,171 --> 00:07:11,396
It has to be me.
197
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:12,664
Damn it, I'm doing it.
198
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,800
Great! This way,
we can stay on the road!
199
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,469
All right! What an exciting time for us.
200
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,971
The three friends.
201
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,947
I'm gonna do those deals!
202
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:28,280
I say this all the time,
but I'll say it again...
203
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:31,016
You can't look too good
for a Billy Joel concert.
204
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,884
Don't forget the hat.
205
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,421
[METAL CREAKING]
206
00:07:35,423 --> 00:07:38,424
[STRAINING]
207
00:07:38,426 --> 00:07:40,826
I'll call us an Uber.
208
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,694
"Ernie is one minute away."
209
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:43,762
Ernie?
210
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,563
Is that the driver...?
211
00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:46,832
It is.
212
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,233
I'm canceling.
213
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,901
Try Lyft.
214
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,903
"Ernie is one minute away."
215
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:52,971
Oh, God!
216
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,440
He's on Lyft too!
217
00:07:54,442 --> 00:07:57,709
Why don't I just go on Tinder
and find a guy to drive us?
218
00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:02,247
Oh! It's him!
219
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,382
He's everywhere!
220
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:05,517
I better drive.
221
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,519
Mom, why are you on Tinder?
222
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,722
I said I'll drive.
223
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:13,792
- Oh, God.
- Fish!
224
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,060
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
225
00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:20,198
Feels light. No bones.
226
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,601
- [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
- _
227
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,203
[HEART BEATING]
228
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,872
- [CLICK]
- STEVE: It's Ernie!
229
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,141
Back in the house!
230
00:08:29,143 --> 00:08:32,010
[KEYS RATTLE, CLANK]
231
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,879
- What the hell was that?
- I don't know!
232
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,081
That's the first time
it's ever happened to me.
233
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,282
Back door!
234
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:38,550
[FOOTSTEPS RUNNING, DOORKNOB RATTLES]
235
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,751
The back door's locked.
236
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,086
I'll get the key under the mat.
237
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,620
[KEY RATTLES, CLANKS]
238
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:45,090
- Mom!
- That's the first time that's ever happened.
239
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:46,892
You gotta believe me!
240
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,894
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
241
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,897
Is this right? Am I making yoga?
242
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,565
I don't know, babe, but I do know
243
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,702
you're leaving footprints
all over the goddamn van!
244
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:57,969
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
245
00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:00,372
- Hello?
- Hales, sup!
246
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,708
No sponsors yet,
but I got irons in the fire.
247
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,710
We're working towards the holy grail...
248
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,311
Açai Incorporated.
249
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,379
Like the berry?
250
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,915
Like the gold mine. It's a superfood.
251
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:12,384
Throw all your regular
food in the trash.
252
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:13,719
Unless it can cure the clap.
253
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:16,321
Because that's what açai did for me.
254
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,724
In 16 hours, I was back on the street,
255
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:21,126
circulating, just having a good time.
256
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,994
Roger! We need money.
257
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,063
Then you need to make
your life brandable.
258
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,465
I need glam shots.
259
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,334
[CRACK]
260
00:09:28,336 --> 00:09:30,468
My "Karate Kid" bush!
261
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,070
Eh, this looks scary.
262
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,307
People are going to expect
exciting content from our brand.
263
00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:37,743
- [BANG]
- [GRUNTS]
264
00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:39,912
You need more speed!
265
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:42,814
- [BANG]
- Aah!
266
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,751
Go slower in the air. You're blurry.
267
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,753
♪♪
268
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:49,354
- [BANG]
- Wah-aah!
269
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,422
- [CELLPHONE CAMERA CLICKS]
- Wah!
270
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,157
- [BANG]
- Whoa!
271
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,759
Aah!
272
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,093
- Wah!
- [BIKE CLATTERS]
273
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,362
Ohh, Jeff, you're gonna love this...
274
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,565
We got it on the first shot.
275
00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:01,099
That's great, babe.
276
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,034
Remember how I criticized you?
277
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,702
I was wrong.
278
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:07,105
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
279
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,506
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
280
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,242
[GROANS]
281
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:12,978
Hello?
282
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,247
What up?! Time for breakfast.
283
00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:17,916
I suggest some Jon's Green Mill Oats,
284
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,785
'cause they're your first sponsor.
285
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:21,386
That's super exciting, Roger!
286
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,921
Okay, gotta go. Rhonda!
287
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,856
Where the [BLEEP] are my deals?!
288
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,124
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS]
- Jeff, get up!
289
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,325
We gotta go to work.
290
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,726
I thought we didn't work?
291
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:29,728
We don't. Now get up!
292
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:30,929
We're gonna be late!
293
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:33,465
[FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]
294
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,333
[HORNS HONKING]
295
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:43,609
♪♪
296
00:10:43,611 --> 00:10:46,612
HAYLEY: We were once trapped
working nine to five.
297
00:10:46,614 --> 00:10:50,682
But now, the only time we
worry about is the present.
298
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:53,551
- [CELLPHONE CAMERA CLICKS]
- And our Raymond Roxbee watches
299
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:56,252
always tell us the present time.
300
00:10:56,287 --> 00:10:59,173
Use code "Hayley-Jeff" for 15% off.
301
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:03,495
Life is fleeting,
so make each day special.
302
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,246
Make time for a sunrise.
303
00:11:05,281 --> 00:11:07,050
Make time for a loved one.
304
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,301
Make a permanent mark on your life...
305
00:11:09,303 --> 00:11:11,770
with Cosmo Dry Erase Markers.
306
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,906
Now with orange.
307
00:11:18,273 --> 00:11:19,978
Mama, we're out of food.
308
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,379
Can't we order some delivery?
309
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,649
No. Ernie works for every app.
310
00:11:23,651 --> 00:11:27,719
Now hush up. Dinner's almost ready.
311
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,721
[BRITISH ACCENT] The last stick of gum?
312
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:32,590
- But what will we eat on Christmas?
- [LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS]
313
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:35,060
[NEW YORK ACCENT] What's up,
ya gum-eatin' bastards?
314
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:36,594
[NORMAL VOICE] Sorry,
I'm just riding high
315
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,130
'cause I hired someone off TaskRabbit
316
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,465
to put together my bookshelf.
317
00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:42,668
TaskRabbit the app?
And he's coming here?
318
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:43,869
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
319
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,137
[BOTH GASP]
320
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:47,939
That's right.
This boss owns a bookshelf.
321
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,742
A gift from my good friend Gucci Mane.
322
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,144
Who are you friends with?
323
00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,811
Being a loser?
324
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:56,081
[CHUCKLES] Probably.
325
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:58,750
Hey, who put this couch here?
326
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:00,018
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
327
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,153
Tuttle?
328
00:12:01,915 --> 00:12:02,954
Oh, dingdoodle,
329
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,823
this isn't my house.
330
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,060
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
331
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,831
Babe, Vista Point, two miles.
332
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,032
Should we check it out?
333
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,233
Are you nuts?
334
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,369
We need a shot of us eating calzones
335
00:12:17,371 --> 00:12:19,437
on the Hoover Dam without
a care in the world
336
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,506
by sundown!
337
00:12:20,508 --> 00:12:22,574
Now step on it!
338
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,510
[TIRES SCREECH]
339
00:12:24,512 --> 00:12:26,829
Not the brakes! The gas!
340
00:12:26,864 --> 00:12:30,448
No! All we ever do is post
and caption and hashtag.
341
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,784
And I'm sick of sniffing
markers all the time!
342
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:35,253
- I'm not making you do that.
- [SNIFFS]
343
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,189
We need a break!
344
00:12:39,727 --> 00:12:42,127
Wow, this is beautiful.
345
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,329
Right? See what happens
346
00:12:43,331 --> 00:12:45,463
when you get off Instagram for a while?
347
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,065
How did you find this place?
348
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,133
On Instagram.
349
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:50,936
Thank God for Instagram.
350
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:53,338
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
351
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,340
I'm so glad you made me do this.
352
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,275
Made us do this, babe.
353
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,744
Ooh, you know, it's a little chilly.
354
00:12:58,746 --> 00:13:00,678
I'm gonna go snatch my serape.
355
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,480
Snatch away, babe.
356
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,015
[CELLPHONE CAMERA CLICKING]
357
00:13:04,883 --> 00:13:05,951
What are you doing?
358
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,152
Oh, this?
359
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,287
Just testing... the nature.
360
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,957
Did it test positive for genital lies?!
361
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,425
- [HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
- ROGER: What up, nomads?
362
00:13:13,427 --> 00:13:16,694
I got three words for you... ah-sigh-ee.
363
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,830
We landed the big sponsorship.
364
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,698
See? It's all paying off.
365
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,235
We can go anywhere and do anything.
366
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:25,703
Then I want to go home and do nothing!
367
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:27,505
The whole point of this was to get away
368
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,706
from being a worker drone,
369
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,909
and here you are, working like crazy.
370
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:31,977
This isn't work.
371
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,378
You're lying to yourself.
372
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,981
What are you gonna say next?
The sky isn't blue?
373
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,649
Whatever color it is or isn't,
374
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:38,984
it's the perfect background
375
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,387
for Señor Thomson's Frozen Wontons.
376
00:13:41,389 --> 00:13:43,188
And since you can't see that,
377
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,056
you're no help to me out here.
378
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,258
- Babe...
- Sorry, Jeff.
379
00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:47,725
You should go home.
380
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:50,729
- Oh.
- Here. For the drive.
381
00:13:50,731 --> 00:13:51,863
I can't hear you.
382
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,465
Are you asking if I'm
sleeping with the pilot?
383
00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:55,267
Lord knows I'm trying.
384
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,869
[WHIRRING CONTINUES]
385
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,546
Actually, no need to climb up.
386
00:13:59,556 --> 00:14:01,739
You can't get past me.
I'm stuck, arms are jelly.
387
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,275
So, Lance, you were right.
388
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:04,876
I shouldn't have rode in like this.
389
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,344
I was trying to be a big shot,
390
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,414
and, well, to be honest, I'm in trouble.
391
00:14:08,416 --> 00:14:11,883
But don't panic, Lance.
Panicking won't help anybody.
392
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:14,420
Lance, quick update...
I panicked and let go.
393
00:14:14,422 --> 00:14:17,555
So, any solution involving the ladder,
well, that's out.
394
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,691
Now we're working on
slowing down a free-fall.
395
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:23,695
The tools I have at my
disposal are a bullhorn.
396
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,064
[BULLHORN FEEDBACK]
397
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:30,269
[MID-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
398
00:14:30,271 --> 00:14:32,137
PHOTOGRAPHER: Can you lose the headband?
399
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,472
It's screwing up the green screen.
400
00:14:33,474 --> 00:14:35,941
Actually can't. I have a doctor's note.
401
00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:37,076
Whoa-ho!
402
00:14:37,078 --> 00:14:38,877
First trip to the Grand Canyon?
403
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,746
If you're gonna hike down,
make sure to bring enough water.
404
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,414
That's how my friend died.
405
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:46,685
I'm Cameron Smiles,
CEO of Açai Incorporated.
406
00:14:46,687 --> 00:14:48,620
- How's it going?
- These promos are fun.
407
00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:51,823
- But I'm excited to get out on the open road.
- You're on it!
408
00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:54,826
With the magic of green screen,
you can go anywhere!
409
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:57,362
Why don't we head to Wacky-kiki Beach?
410
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,897
[SNAPS FINGERS] Mike!
Give us Wacky-kiki.
411
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,231
♪ Surf surfin' ♪
412
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,366
♪ Beach Boys, yeah ♪
413
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:02,567
I'm the big ca-hoota!
414
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,703
See you on the half pipe, fish tacos!
415
00:15:04,705 --> 00:15:06,772
MIKE: [LAUGHING] It looks
so good on the monitor!
416
00:15:06,774 --> 00:15:09,641
So we shoot everything
in front of the screen?
417
00:15:09,643 --> 00:15:11,242
I'm never really going anywhere?
418
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,445
How can you say that when you're...
419
00:15:13,447 --> 00:15:15,380
suddenly on the moon!
420
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:16,982
Give us spacesuits, Mike!
421
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:19,985
Well, I guess a fake moon
beats real Sub Hub.
422
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,320
That's my motto.
423
00:15:21,322 --> 00:15:23,788
So, um, let's say we bring in Jeff.
424
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:26,858
- But I-I told Jeff to go home.
- Good call.
425
00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:29,594
But you're not gonna
want new Jeff to go home.
426
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:33,264
Jeff 2.0 is super hot, super punctual,
427
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,333
and best of all?
428
00:15:34,335 --> 00:15:36,135
He's 100% hologram!
429
00:15:36,137 --> 00:15:37,336
[GRUNTS]
430
00:15:37,338 --> 00:15:38,937
Wait, this guy's real?
431
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,140
Mike, we're working on
the hologram stuff, right?
432
00:15:41,142 --> 00:15:43,474
MIKE: Getting closer every day, boss!
433
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,077
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
434
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,680
[SCREWDRIVER CLICKING]
435
00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:50,081
[WHISPERING] He's almost done.
436
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,350
Why didn't we run?
437
00:15:51,352 --> 00:15:55,086
He went to his car like 10
times to get more tools.
438
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:58,121
All finished.
439
00:15:58,156 --> 00:16:01,226
Now to take care of one last thing.
440
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:04,095
Oh, great, you're done.
441
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:05,630
Hmm.
442
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,700
And I'm guessing you
didn't use this washer
443
00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:11,837
because they gave an
extra one by mistake?
444
00:16:11,839 --> 00:16:16,041
Hate to tell you, buddy,
but IKEA doesn't make mistakes.
445
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,242
[WASHER CLANKS]
446
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:19,044
My hands are tied here.
447
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:20,912
You're getting four stars.
448
00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,447
Four stars?
449
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:23,982
It's just a washer.
450
00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,717
Back talk? Three stars.
451
00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:27,986
They should write about you
in Laffy Taffy wrappers,
452
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,321
'cause you're a [BLEEP] joke, bro!
453
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,390
Klaus, I wouldn't...
454
00:16:31,392 --> 00:16:32,591
This is good for us.
455
00:16:32,593 --> 00:16:35,060
I'm gonna eat your bones.
456
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,862
How 'bout you bite my ass?
457
00:16:36,864 --> 00:16:37,896
Two stars.
458
00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:42,401
The curse is his now.
459
00:16:42,403 --> 00:16:44,203
KLAUS: Slit my throat?
460
00:16:44,205 --> 00:16:47,206
[GAGGING] One star.
461
00:16:48,285 --> 00:16:49,674
Uh, what's going on?
462
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,943
Hayley! Something so rad happened.
463
00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:55,080
We signed some new talent,
and she and Jeff just gelled.
464
00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:58,617
Totally organic. Anyway,
she's taking your spot on the account.
465
00:16:58,619 --> 00:17:00,819
What? Wait, you mean my account?
466
00:17:00,821 --> 00:17:02,888
Well, you signed ownership over to us.
467
00:17:02,890 --> 00:17:06,691
But what if I told you we
could use you in Brazil?
468
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,827
- Real Brazil.
- I'd say sign me up.
469
00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:11,496
No need.
You already signed the Brazil Clause.
470
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,031
MIKE: Actually,
we didn't get a signature
471
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,233
on the Brazil Clause, boss.
472
00:17:14,235 --> 00:17:16,968
What?!
I need that thing, like, right now!
473
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:19,504
- I'll still go.
- Oh, that'd be perfect.
474
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:20,839
Mike, you wanna shoot a Brazil Clause
475
00:17:20,841 --> 00:17:22,708
over to the printer?
Let's head to the printer.
476
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:24,643
That's where the Brazil
Clause'll come out.
477
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:29,448
[PRINTER WHIRRING SLOWLY]
478
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,588
This thing's a workhorse.
479
00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:40,325
- [INSECTS CHIRPING]
- _
480
00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:43,995
All right! We out here!
481
00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:45,664
What a great farm.
482
00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:47,799
I'm gonna get some great shots.
483
00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:52,003
Whoa! I know him. He's a van lifer.
484
00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:53,538
And so is he.
485
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,274
[WHIP CRACKING]
486
00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:57,208
What the hell is going on here?
487
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:59,344
GUARD: Pick berries.
488
00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:01,246
Hashtag slave life.
489
00:18:03,951 --> 00:18:05,350
Oh, my God.
490
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,552
Is this where Açai Incorporated
491
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:09,621
sends influencers when
they get replaced?
492
00:18:09,623 --> 00:18:11,690
Yes. Now go to work!
493
00:18:11,692 --> 00:18:12,791
Then go home?
494
00:18:12,793 --> 00:18:14,093
No! [CHUCKLES]
495
00:18:14,095 --> 00:18:15,294
Only go to work.
496
00:18:15,296 --> 00:18:16,661
Go to work, go to work.
497
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,429
Go to work, go to work.
498
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,764
Welcome to the short march.
499
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,233
Oh, man, the march!
500
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:27,372
[MACHINERY CLACKING]
501
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,975
So hungry.
502
00:18:29,977 --> 00:18:33,345
Ooh, one left.
503
00:18:35,649 --> 00:18:38,583
- Aah-ja-ja!
- [ALARM RINGS]
504
00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:42,654
[MONKEYS SCREECHING]
505
00:18:43,457 --> 00:18:44,857
[SCREAMS]
506
00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:50,228
♪♪
507
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,364
[GROANS]
508
00:18:52,366 --> 00:18:55,300
Is this the pile for medical attention?
509
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:58,703
It's a death trench, dummy.
510
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,773
This is my trench now.
511
00:19:00,775 --> 00:19:03,375
JEFF: Hayley! Where are you?!
512
00:19:03,377 --> 00:19:04,442
Jeff?
513
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,945
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
514
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:13,251
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
515
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,520
♪♪
516
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:18,723
Hashtag rescue!
517
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:19,992
[BANG]
518
00:19:19,994 --> 00:19:23,195
[JUICE TRICKLING]
519
00:19:23,197 --> 00:19:24,262
Jeff.
520
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:26,198
Hey... babe.
521
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,666
How did you find me?
522
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:30,202
I follow the guy who
releases the guard monkeys
523
00:19:30,204 --> 00:19:31,403
on Instagram.
524
00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:33,872
Thank God for Instagram, right?
525
00:19:33,874 --> 00:19:36,875
No, Jeff. Thank God for you.
526
00:19:36,877 --> 00:19:39,478
You... almost saved me.
527
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,946
[CRYING] I'm so sorry.
528
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,950
[SOBS]
529
00:19:47,488 --> 00:19:49,221
Oh, my God. My arm.
530
00:19:49,223 --> 00:19:51,356
Açai juice really is a...
531
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,025
[DEEP VOICE] Superfood!
532
00:19:53,027 --> 00:19:55,427
♪♪
533
00:19:55,429 --> 00:19:56,695
No!
534
00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:59,031
They're drinking the undiluted juice!
535
00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:00,232
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
536
00:20:00,234 --> 00:20:05,037
♪♪
537
00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:07,772
[MUSCLES CLICKING]
538
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,574
Whoa.
539
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:10,642
[GUNSHOT]
540
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:11,710
Whoa!
541
00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:12,878
Aah!
542
00:20:14,048 --> 00:20:15,447
Whoooa!
543
00:20:15,449 --> 00:20:18,316
[GRUNTING]
544
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:19,718
[GUN COCKS]
545
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,699
_
546
00:20:22,456 --> 00:20:23,856
[GUN COCKS]
547
00:20:23,858 --> 00:20:24,957
[GUNSHOT]
548
00:20:25,472 --> 00:20:27,059
Let's get the hell outta here!
549
00:20:27,061 --> 00:20:28,660
♪♪
550
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,395
I love you so much, Jeff!
551
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,731
Superfood!
552
00:20:35,269 --> 00:20:37,436
Go to work, go home.
553
00:20:37,538 --> 00:20:39,404
Go to work, go home.
554
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,073
- Ah!
- Superfood.
555
00:20:41,075 --> 00:20:44,276
Jeff, you can't visit me at work
until you go back to normal.
556
00:20:44,278 --> 00:20:45,544
Superfood?
557
00:20:45,546 --> 00:20:47,345
You're still holding that bullet?
558
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:49,748
Just drop it.
559
00:20:51,752 --> 00:20:54,086
[CRASH, CAR HORN BLARES]
560
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:57,021
Superfood?
561
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:58,891
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
562
00:21:00,954 --> 00:21:03,010
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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