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1
00:00:07,213 --> 00:00:09,363
Clone of my Own
2
00:00:32,653 --> 00:00:33,881
Good news!
3
00:00:34,093 --> 00:00:37,847
The university is bringing me up
on disciplinary charges.
4
00:00:38,093 --> 00:00:39,890
Wait, that's not good news.
5
00:00:40,133 --> 00:00:43,409
Whatever you did, I'm sure
there's a good explanation.
6
00:00:43,653 --> 00:00:45,211
Yes, but they won't listen.
7
00:00:45,453 --> 00:00:48,411
Everyone's always in favor
of saving Hitler's brain.
8
00:00:48,653 --> 00:00:51,451
But when you put it
in the body of a great white shark?
9
00:00:51,693 --> 00:00:53,411
Suddenly you've gone too far!
10
00:01:03,893 --> 00:01:08,091
Professor Farnsworth, do you know
why we've called you here today?
11
00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:10,164
Listen to me, you pompous frauds!
12
00:01:10,373 --> 00:01:13,365
If I'm going down,
I'm taking you all with me!
13
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,609
Dean Vernon, I know the truth!
14
00:01:15,853 --> 00:01:19,766
It was you driving your hover car
that night, not your horse.
15
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,162
Dean Epsilon...
16
00:01:21,413 --> 00:01:25,611
...I know all about your
"Department of Pool Boy Studies".
17
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:27,889
And Dr. Wernstrum?
18
00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:29,486
Wernstrum!
19
00:01:29,733 --> 00:01:32,770
Actually, professor,
we merely called you here to say...
20
00:01:33,013 --> 00:01:34,048
...surprise.
21
00:01:34,293 --> 00:01:35,646
- Happy birthday!
- Surprise!
22
00:01:37,893 --> 00:01:39,565
And you, Coach Smalley!
23
00:01:39,813 --> 00:01:42,452
Or should I say, "Coach Hairpiece"?
24
00:01:42,693 --> 00:01:45,207
No, professor.
It's a surprise party...
25
00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:47,205
...for your 150th birthday!
26
00:01:47,413 --> 00:01:49,324
[GIBBERISH]
27
00:01:52,373 --> 00:01:53,601
Good evening, I'm...
28
00:01:54,173 --> 00:01:55,162
Sorry.
29
00:01:55,373 --> 00:01:57,841
I'm Bender, and I'll be
emceeing this roast.
30
00:01:58,093 --> 00:02:01,165
They say you can judge a man
by the company he keeps.
31
00:02:01,373 --> 00:02:05,844
So here's the professor's oldest
friend, a grotesque, stinking lobster!
32
00:02:09,173 --> 00:02:11,209
Good evening, ladies and germs.
33
00:02:11,373 --> 00:02:12,362
[RIMSHOT]
34
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:16,128
That wasn't a joke.
I was talking to Dean Streptococcus.
35
00:02:16,373 --> 00:02:19,570
Now I'm not saying
Professor Farnsworth is old...
36
00:02:19,813 --> 00:02:23,692
...but if you consider his age,
he's likely to die soon.
37
00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:27,369
Hey, Ringo? That was the joke.
38
00:02:28,533 --> 00:02:32,082
It's Showtime at the Apollo
all over again.
39
00:02:32,773 --> 00:02:36,482
Where would a professor be without
students who love and respect him?
40
00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:38,564
Right there!
41
00:02:39,093 --> 00:02:43,291
But seriously, of all the former crew
members of his delivery ship...
42
00:02:43,533 --> 00:02:46,093
...our next speaker is by far
the most alive.
43
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,607
Captain Musky?
44
00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,851
[BEEP FOLLOWED BY RIMSHOT]
45
00:02:56,053 --> 00:02:57,611
[LAUGHTER]
46
00:02:59,533 --> 00:03:01,649
I wouldn't want to follow that guy.
47
00:03:04,213 --> 00:03:08,172
And now, a man
who needs no introduction.
48
00:03:12,813 --> 00:03:14,963
Fry, get up there!
49
00:03:16,973 --> 00:03:17,962
Thank you.
50
00:03:18,173 --> 00:03:22,166
When I was first asked to make a film
about my nephew, the professor...
51
00:03:22,373 --> 00:03:25,604
...I thought, why should I?
Then later, Leela made the film.
52
00:03:25,853 --> 00:03:29,892
But if I had made it, there would be
more topless women on motorcycles.
53
00:03:30,133 --> 00:03:31,122
Roll film.
54
00:03:38,853 --> 00:03:41,811
LEELA NARRATES: Hubert J. Farnsworthwas born April 9th, 285 1...
55
00:03:42,053 --> 00:03:45,682
... in New New York's nerdiest slum, Hell's Laboratory.
56
00:03:45,933 --> 00:03:50,085
A precocious child, he learned to readwhile he was still in diapers...
57
00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:51,482
... at age 8.
58
00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:54,088
Soon he became a greasy teenager.
59
00:03:55,573 --> 00:03:56,449
Dork alert!
60
00:03:56,693 --> 00:03:58,604
After 14 years of graduate school...
61
00:03:58,853 --> 00:04:01,811
... he settled into the glamorous lifeof a scientist.
62
00:04:02,053 --> 00:04:03,964
Fast cars, trendy nightspots...
63
00:04:04,173 --> 00:04:05,367
... beautiful women.
64
00:04:05,573 --> 00:04:09,805
The professor designed them all, working out of his one-room apartment.
65
00:04:10,053 --> 00:04:13,363
For 50 years, he worked atMom's Friendly Robot Company...
66
00:04:13,573 --> 00:04:17,566
... where he created the first robotcapable of qualifying for a boat loan.
67
00:04:17,853 --> 00:04:21,562
And now, even as he nearshis 150th birthday...
68
00:04:21,773 --> 00:04:24,765
... the professor retainsthe fiery passion of youth.
69
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,884
Listen to me, you pompous frauds!
70
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:29,966
If I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me!
71
00:04:36,893 --> 00:04:39,168
How about a few words, professor?
72
00:04:39,373 --> 00:04:40,692
[GIBBERISH]
73
00:04:41,053 --> 00:04:42,452
I said, words.
74
00:04:46,213 --> 00:04:49,683
What a pleasure it is to see
my lifetime of accomplishment...
75
00:04:49,933 --> 00:04:52,242
...summed up in a 3-minute film.
76
00:04:52,773 --> 00:04:54,968
My best years are behind me.
77
00:04:55,173 --> 00:04:57,482
So much left undone.
78
00:04:57,733 --> 00:05:00,372
So little time.
79
00:05:05,093 --> 00:05:07,323
Funny, funny stuff!
80
00:05:09,773 --> 00:05:11,411
My life is over.
81
00:05:11,653 --> 00:05:14,565
No, it isn't.
You have another 10 years left.
82
00:05:14,813 --> 00:05:17,885
Leela, he could live
another 100 years!
83
00:05:18,133 --> 00:05:19,691
No, he couldn't.
84
00:05:19,933 --> 00:05:21,366
When you turn 160...
85
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:24,889
...robots from the Sunset Squad
take you to a mysterious planet...
86
00:05:25,133 --> 00:05:26,486
...and you never return.
87
00:05:26,733 --> 00:05:29,645
Wow, a whole planet of old people.
Where is it?
88
00:05:29,893 --> 00:05:31,451
Nobody knows.
89
00:05:31,693 --> 00:05:33,411
So many loves half-Ioved.
90
00:05:33,653 --> 00:05:36,167
So many inventions half-invented.
91
00:05:36,413 --> 00:05:40,884
That damn time machine alone
set me back 15 years.
92
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:44,648
If only it'd work, you could go back
and not waste your time on it.
93
00:05:44,893 --> 00:05:47,168
There's no one to carry on
after I'm gone.
94
00:05:47,373 --> 00:05:52,288
No one to take over my work and
my research and my fabulous fortune.
95
00:05:52,533 --> 00:05:54,012
By God, that's it!
96
00:05:54,253 --> 00:05:55,845
I've got to name a successor!
97
00:05:56,093 --> 00:05:57,242
ALL:
A successor?
98
00:05:57,493 --> 00:05:59,165
A successor to the professor?
99
00:05:59,413 --> 00:06:00,766
There's no time to lose.
100
00:06:00,973 --> 00:06:05,012
I'm off to my lab to build
a successor-naming machine!
101
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:09,363
The professor's been in his lab
for days!
102
00:06:09,613 --> 00:06:12,366
I hope he didn't die.
Unless he named me his successor.
103
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,892
Then I hope he did die.
104
00:06:14,133 --> 00:06:16,966
You, the successor?
Over my empty shell!
105
00:06:17,173 --> 00:06:21,485
The professor will pick me.
Only I have his lobster-like tenacity.
106
00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:22,961
Up yours, Zoidberg!
107
00:06:23,173 --> 00:06:26,210
Up wherever your species
traditionally crams things.
108
00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:30,002
The only sensible way to pick
a successor is with a limbo contest.
109
00:06:30,253 --> 00:06:31,845
- What?
- Kingston rules.
110
00:06:32,093 --> 00:06:34,209
Two men go down, one comes up.
111
00:06:36,733 --> 00:06:39,805
Look, the professor trusts me
with a giant spaceship.
112
00:06:40,053 --> 00:06:42,009
He wouldn't trust you
with his dentures.
113
00:06:42,253 --> 00:06:43,288
Yes, he would.
114
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:47,162
Sorry, everyone. But need I remind
you, blood is thicker than water.
115
00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:50,171
Blood. Thicker. Water.
116
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,207
Everyone, I have a very
dramatic announcement.
117
00:06:55,453 --> 00:06:58,251
So anyone with a weak heart
should leave now.
118
00:06:58,493 --> 00:06:59,972
Goodbye.
119
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:01,568
Professor?
120
00:07:01,813 --> 00:07:03,963
Oh, yes! The announcement.
121
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,892
As you all know,
I am not long for this world.
122
00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:10,125
- Yes, we know.
- One foot in the grave.
123
00:07:10,373 --> 00:07:12,045
So I've picked my successor.
124
00:07:12,293 --> 00:07:14,409
It's someone in whom
I have great faith...
125
00:07:14,653 --> 00:07:17,850
...though his mind is undeveloped
and he's accomplished nothing.
126
00:07:19,653 --> 00:07:21,564
My closest living relative...
127
00:07:22,533 --> 00:07:25,525
...my clone, Qbert Farnsworth.
128
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:38,732
He's horrible!
129
00:07:39,373 --> 00:07:42,012
Crud. Can I at least be
in charge of your dentures?
130
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,288
You wish.
131
00:07:47,093 --> 00:07:48,446
Where did he come from?
132
00:07:48,693 --> 00:07:51,161
12 years ago,
I began the cloning process...
133
00:07:51,413 --> 00:07:55,884
...by removing skin cells from one
of the shapelier growths on my back.
134
00:07:56,133 --> 00:07:59,409
If he's your clone, why doesn't
his nose look like yours?
135
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:03,612
I left him in his first tube too long
and he got squished against the side.
136
00:08:03,853 --> 00:08:05,286
Is he dumb or just ugly?
137
00:08:05,533 --> 00:08:07,569
Let's find out.
138
00:08:15,213 --> 00:08:17,807
What? You've never seen
a genius's wiener before?
139
00:08:18,053 --> 00:08:20,169
ALL: No. Never.
FRY: Once in the park.
140
00:08:22,853 --> 00:08:24,650
[COINS CLINKING]
141
00:08:24,813 --> 00:08:25,802
Shoot!
142
00:08:28,733 --> 00:08:30,610
Since I'm going to be in charge...
143
00:08:30,853 --> 00:08:33,208
...let me examine my so-called crew.
144
00:08:33,453 --> 00:08:35,091
If it can so be called.
145
00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:37,483
First of all, Dr. Zoidberg...
146
00:08:37,733 --> 00:08:39,849
...do you even have a medical degree?
147
00:08:40,093 --> 00:08:41,367
I lost it.
148
00:08:41,573 --> 00:08:42,688
In a volcano.
149
00:08:42,933 --> 00:08:46,209
And why do we need a bending robot
around here anyway?
150
00:08:46,453 --> 00:08:48,444
What possible use do we have for you?
151
00:08:48,693 --> 00:08:50,570
Me no speak-a the English.
152
00:08:50,773 --> 00:08:53,810
And why does our space pilot
have only one eye?
153
00:08:54,053 --> 00:08:58,763
There's someone I'd like you to meet.
His name is depth perception.
154
00:08:59,013 --> 00:09:00,332
Why, you little...
155
00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:04,046
Wow, that hurt... the air!
156
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:06,602
Him pending para un bending.
157
00:09:06,853 --> 00:09:08,047
Qbert, come in here.
158
00:09:08,293 --> 00:09:10,170
I'll show you something amazing.
159
00:09:10,413 --> 00:09:12,404
What is it, a competent employee?
160
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:15,167
I doubt that very much.
161
00:09:15,813 --> 00:09:18,373
- The little twerp.
- Hay Chihuahua!
162
00:09:20,813 --> 00:09:24,362
As my successor, I'm trusting you
to carry on my work.
163
00:09:24,573 --> 00:09:28,566
These are some of the inventions
you'll spend your life finishing.
164
00:09:28,773 --> 00:09:32,163
I didn't realize you were the inventor
of the junk heap.
165
00:09:32,373 --> 00:09:34,682
That's my prizewinning Smell-a-Scope.
166
00:09:34,933 --> 00:09:39,609
If a dog craps anywhere in the
universe, I won't be out of the loop.
167
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:42,971
And this is my universal translator.
168
00:09:43,213 --> 00:09:44,566
Unfortunately, so far...
169
00:09:44,773 --> 00:09:48,004
...it only translates into an
incomprehensible dead language.
170
00:09:48,253 --> 00:09:49,606
- Hello.
-Bonjour.
171
00:09:49,853 --> 00:09:50,968
Crazy gibberish!
172
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:56,042
- Don't you have worthwhile inventions?
- Why, certainly! Step over here.
173
00:09:56,533 --> 00:09:59,206
FARNSWORTH: These arethe dark-matter engines I invented.
174
00:09:59,453 --> 00:10:03,969
They allow my starship to travel
between galaxies in mere hours.
175
00:10:04,213 --> 00:10:07,649
That's impossible. You can't go faster
than the speed of light.
176
00:10:07,893 --> 00:10:12,648
Of course not. That's why scientists
increased the speed of light in 2208.
177
00:10:12,893 --> 00:10:14,212
Also impossible.
178
00:10:14,453 --> 00:10:17,843
And what makes my engines truly
remarkable is the afterburner...
179
00:10:18,093 --> 00:10:20,561
...which delivers 200-percent
fuel efficiency.
180
00:10:20,813 --> 00:10:22,565
That's especially impossible.
181
00:10:22,773 --> 00:10:24,889
Not at all. It's very simple.
182
00:10:25,133 --> 00:10:26,202
Then explain it.
183
00:10:26,453 --> 00:10:27,886
Now that's impossible!
184
00:10:28,133 --> 00:10:31,489
It came to me in a dream
and I forgot it in another dream.
185
00:10:31,733 --> 00:10:35,408
Your explanations are pure
weapons-grade bologn-ium.
186
00:10:35,653 --> 00:10:37,211
It's all impossible!
187
00:10:37,453 --> 00:10:39,967
Nothing's impossible
if you can imagine it.
188
00:10:40,213 --> 00:10:42,852
That's what being a scientist
is all about.
189
00:10:43,093 --> 00:10:46,369
No, that's what being
a magical elf is all about.
190
00:10:50,573 --> 00:10:52,006
Oh, my God!
191
00:10:52,253 --> 00:10:54,005
BENDER:
It's Elzar, the TV chef!
192
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:55,447
Kill me now, people!
193
00:10:55,693 --> 00:10:59,971
- How we doing here?
- Elzar, everything's so good!
194
00:11:00,213 --> 00:11:01,885
Are you an ass-kissing machine?
195
00:11:02,133 --> 00:11:03,646
Yes, sir! Good one, sir!
196
00:11:03,893 --> 00:11:06,009
It's a gem of an evening.
197
00:11:06,253 --> 00:11:10,166
I feel so wonderful having someone
to take over my life's work.
198
00:11:10,413 --> 00:11:12,688
And it's all thanks to Qbert.
199
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:15,970
Look, I may be identical to you
in every possible way...
200
00:11:16,213 --> 00:11:18,647
...but that doesn't mean
I'm like you.
201
00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:21,772
- What?
- I don't want to be an inventor.
202
00:11:22,013 --> 00:11:24,971
I want to be something useful,
like a teacher's aide...
203
00:11:25,173 --> 00:11:28,165
...or a prison guard
or a science-fiction cartoon writer.
204
00:11:28,413 --> 00:11:30,802
But what about my hopes
and my dreams...
205
00:11:31,053 --> 00:11:33,442
...and my wonderful inventions?
206
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:37,322
In your life, your only half-decent
invention was me.
207
00:11:37,493 --> 00:11:40,849
And I didn't turn out
like you wanted either.
208
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:47,086
- You folks still doing all right?
- Oh, yes, Elzar.
209
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:49,449
Turns out I forgot
to cook that chicken.
210
00:11:54,773 --> 00:11:56,092
Bad news, everyone.
211
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:59,245
By the time you watch this tape, I'll be gone...
212
00:11:59,493 --> 00:12:04,044
... leaving behind only a historyof failure and my original hipbones.
213
00:12:04,293 --> 00:12:08,969
You see, I've been lying about my age. I'm not actually 150.
214
00:12:09,213 --> 00:12:10,851
I'm 160.
215
00:12:11,093 --> 00:12:14,051
Oh, vanity, thy nameis Professor Farnsworth.
216
00:12:14,293 --> 00:12:16,363
And now that I havenothing to live for...
217
00:12:16,573 --> 00:12:21,044
... I've alerted theSunset Squad robots to take me away.
218
00:12:47,253 --> 00:12:50,165
Goodbye, cruel world!
219
00:12:51,453 --> 00:12:54,172
Goodbye, cruel lamp.
220
00:12:55,173 --> 00:12:57,368
Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes...
221
00:12:57,573 --> 00:13:01,646
...lined with what appears to be
some sort of cruel muslin...
222
00:13:01,893 --> 00:13:04,646
...and the cute little pompon
curtain pull cords...
223
00:13:04,893 --> 00:13:06,963
...cruel though they may be...
224
00:13:10,053 --> 00:13:12,169
FARNSWORTH: I havenothing to live for...
225
00:13:12,413 --> 00:13:17,168
... I've alerted theSunset Squad robots to take me away.
226
00:13:17,373 --> 00:13:18,567
ALL:
Oh, no.
227
00:13:18,773 --> 00:13:21,287
I know you're all upset, especially Bender.
228
00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:23,410
Well, life goes on.
229
00:13:23,653 --> 00:13:25,371
Except for you!
230
00:13:26,253 --> 00:13:28,642
I'm sure he's just madea cutting remark...
231
00:13:28,893 --> 00:13:32,647
... but he doesn 't know I taped overhis soap operas to record this.
232
00:13:32,893 --> 00:13:34,292
You bastard!
233
00:13:34,533 --> 00:13:36,046
We've got to get him back!
234
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:39,171
Impossible. No one knows
where they take them.
235
00:13:39,413 --> 00:13:40,448
Nothing's impossible!
236
00:13:40,693 --> 00:13:43,651
You'd know that if you really
took after him, like I do.
237
00:13:43,893 --> 00:13:46,453
You're his uncle, dummy.
He takes after you!
238
00:13:46,653 --> 00:13:47,688
Yeah, well, what?
239
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:51,442
Wait a second!
That means I also take after you!
240
00:13:51,693 --> 00:13:53,809
I think I know how to find him.
241
00:13:54,053 --> 00:13:55,372
Lay it on us, big boots.
242
00:13:57,133 --> 00:14:01,046
If this can pick up his odor,
we may have a chance to save him.
243
00:14:01,293 --> 00:14:03,170
I think not.
244
00:14:03,373 --> 00:14:05,284
As you probably don't know...
245
00:14:05,533 --> 00:14:10,163
...odors are made up of particles
that can't travel through space.
246
00:14:10,773 --> 00:14:12,252
I'm zeroing in on him.
247
00:14:12,493 --> 00:14:13,812
BENGAY.
248
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,691
Mothballs!
249
00:14:15,933 --> 00:14:18,493
Letters to the editor!
It's the professor!
250
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,564
To the flying machine!
251
00:14:24,253 --> 00:14:26,608
To the left! No, to the up!
252
00:14:26,853 --> 00:14:28,002
U-turn!
253
00:14:28,253 --> 00:14:32,371
We'll never find this place.
Robots are good at keeping secrets.
254
00:14:32,613 --> 00:14:35,207
No, we're not, you little bed wetter.
Sorry.
255
00:14:35,453 --> 00:14:37,364
There it is! The Near-Death Star!
256
00:14:51,173 --> 00:14:54,643
We'll say the professor escaped
and we're bringing him back.
257
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:57,361
Fry, dress up like a 160-year-old man.
258
00:14:57,573 --> 00:14:58,972
I'm on it.
259
00:15:00,173 --> 00:15:01,288
My God...
260
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:05,367
...the illusion is so perfect I almost
forgot I was looking at an idiot!
261
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,365
They may ask for a DNA sample.
262
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,609
I'd like to see them find it.
263
00:15:09,853 --> 00:15:14,005
This plan is impossible. We don't
even have a sample of his DNA.
264
00:15:14,253 --> 00:15:16,528
I think I know where to get some.
265
00:15:18,173 --> 00:15:20,084
[QBERT SCREAMS]
266
00:15:24,533 --> 00:15:26,444
QBERT:
Why do I have to be the hump?
267
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:29,161
Because you're too ugly to be a wart.
268
00:15:29,373 --> 00:15:30,647
[ALL LAUGH]
269
00:15:53,813 --> 00:15:55,849
Your Medicare dollars at work.
270
00:15:56,773 --> 00:15:59,367
Halt! Identify this guest.
271
00:15:59,573 --> 00:16:02,610
This is Professor Hubert Farnsworth.
He escaped.
272
00:16:02,853 --> 00:16:04,844
Escaped? No one escapes.
273
00:16:05,093 --> 00:16:07,448
This guest does not look 160.
274
00:16:07,693 --> 00:16:09,365
What? I'm old. Listen.
275
00:16:09,613 --> 00:16:11,968
Hey, you kids! Get off the lawn!
276
00:16:12,173 --> 00:16:16,052
Old people are often concerned that
there are children on their lawns.
277
00:16:16,293 --> 00:16:20,764
No denying that. But we'll need to
verify his identity with a DNA sample.
278
00:16:20,973 --> 00:16:22,929
Got a hot, steaming batch right here.
279
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:25,566
We only needed one cell.
280
00:16:25,813 --> 00:16:27,212
Keep the change, buddy!
281
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:28,647
QBERT:
Stupid robot.
282
00:16:28,893 --> 00:16:32,568
- Did your hump just say something?
- I've got "talking hump syndrome. "
283
00:16:32,813 --> 00:16:34,166
Ah, T.H.S.
284
00:16:37,373 --> 00:16:41,127
Identity confirmed. Return this
shambling shuffleboarder to his room.
285
00:16:41,813 --> 00:16:43,565
7152 Maple Drive.
286
00:16:43,773 --> 00:16:45,889
- Sounds nice.
- Prepare to be surprised.
287
00:16:58,253 --> 00:17:01,245
So this is where they stick
old people! It's horrific!
288
00:17:01,493 --> 00:17:03,370
It does keep them from driving.
289
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,364
Brace yourself for the worst.
290
00:17:21,933 --> 00:17:24,766
- And yet he looks so natural.
QBERT: What's happening?
291
00:17:25,013 --> 00:17:29,484
He's hooked up to life support.
We have to disconnect him carefully...
292
00:17:29,733 --> 00:17:31,564
...or the shock could kill him.
293
00:17:31,773 --> 00:17:33,172
Freeze!
294
00:17:44,333 --> 00:17:46,051
Seize them!
295
00:17:46,293 --> 00:17:48,170
Get them! I mean, seize them!
296
00:17:53,933 --> 00:17:56,572
Oh, I'm so bad at this.
297
00:18:06,173 --> 00:18:07,288
Uh, oh!
298
00:18:12,853 --> 00:18:14,286
[ROBOT GROANS]
299
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,763
We'll probably make it,
but we might not!
300
00:18:22,973 --> 00:18:26,568
- It's impossible! We'll never fit!
- Will too!
301
00:18:27,533 --> 00:18:29,171
Told you.
302
00:18:35,893 --> 00:18:39,329
Come on, Leela! Step your big boot
down on the gas pedal!
303
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:57,564
- They've blown out one of our engines!
- Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!
304
00:18:57,773 --> 00:18:59,001
Fix it! Fix it!
305
00:18:59,253 --> 00:19:02,290
Only the professor knows how.
We have to wake him up.
306
00:19:06,573 --> 00:19:07,767
Try shocking him!
307
00:19:07,973 --> 00:19:09,804
Your social security check is late!
308
00:19:10,053 --> 00:19:11,964
Stuff costs more than it used to!
309
00:19:12,213 --> 00:19:14,363
Young people use curse words!
310
00:19:14,573 --> 00:19:16,643
Damn, we'll have to fix it ourselves!
311
00:19:16,893 --> 00:19:18,372
We can't, you bastard!
312
00:19:18,613 --> 00:19:21,173
No one knows how it works!
It's impossible!
313
00:19:21,373 --> 00:19:24,843
Nothing is impossible!
I know how the engines work now.
314
00:19:25,093 --> 00:19:26,446
It came to me in a dream.
315
00:19:26,693 --> 00:19:28,843
The engines don't move
the ship at all!
316
00:19:29,093 --> 00:19:33,086
The ship stays where it is, and the
engines move the universe around it!
317
00:19:33,333 --> 00:19:34,482
That's a complete load.
318
00:19:34,733 --> 00:19:37,645
Nothing's a complete load.
Not if you can imagine it.
319
00:19:37,893 --> 00:19:40,726
That's what being a scientist
is about. Right, professor?
320
00:19:40,933 --> 00:19:42,252
[GIBBERISH]
321
00:19:42,733 --> 00:19:43,882
Let's ride.
322
00:19:58,413 --> 00:20:00,165
QBERT:
Good news, everyone!
323
00:20:00,413 --> 00:20:01,892
He's completely recovered.
324
00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:03,248
- All right!
- Yeah.
325
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:06,405
I'm as spry as a 140-year-old.
326
00:20:06,653 --> 00:20:08,848
See? I only broke one ankle.
327
00:20:09,093 --> 00:20:11,163
What happened to you in the drawer?
328
00:20:11,373 --> 00:20:16,288
I was hooked up to a bizarre virtual
world that seemed absolutely real.
329
00:20:16,813 --> 00:20:19,771
- What was it like?
- I was at a facility in Florida...
330
00:20:20,013 --> 00:20:22,163
...with hundreds of other old people.
331
00:20:22,373 --> 00:20:26,764
All day we'd play bingo, eat oatmeal
and wait for our children to call.
332
00:20:27,213 --> 00:20:30,569
It's more horrible
than anything I could imagine.
333
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:33,373
Oh, my, yes.
Thank you all for saving me.
334
00:20:33,573 --> 00:20:35,803
Especially you, my little clone.
335
00:20:36,053 --> 00:20:40,763
No matter what you decide to do with
your life, I'm still proud of you.
336
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,964
I've already decided.
337
00:20:43,173 --> 00:20:47,086
Dad, when I grow up
I want to be just like you.
338
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:50,370
Oh, don't worry, son. You will.
339
00:20:50,613 --> 00:20:55,368
Incidentally, read up on the condition
known as wandering bladder.
340
00:20:55,573 --> 00:20:56,688
Why?
341
00:20:56,933 --> 00:21:00,482
FARNSWORTH:
No reason. No reason at all.
0
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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