Original subtitles

{40}{160}Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org {1}{179}25.000 {179}{231}Raging Bender {733}{861}Good news, everyone!|I've taught the toaster to feel love. {988}{1063}Hermes returns from|his vacation today. {1078}{1136}- Good morning.|- Hey, Hermes! {1142}{1166}- Yo!|- My man! {1172}{1267}- So how was it?|- Stopover on the Brain Slug planet. {1273}{1349}Hermes liked it so much|he decided to stay. {1354}{1455}Hermes has all the fun.|He's got a Brain Slug on his head! {1460}{1572}- You're gonna get us assimilated.|- Switch to a garlic shampoo. {1577}{1664}Today's mission is to go|to the Brain Slug planet. {1669}{1756}- What'll we do?|- Walk around not wearing a helmet. {1762}{1861}Sounds great, Hermes!|Whatever you say. {1877}{1992}- Let's ditch him and go to the movies.|- Hey, yeah! Good idea. {1997}{2055}I'm seeing a movie with friends. {2284}{2326}Cool, let's see this one. {2332}{2404}No. I'm not in the mood|for a documentary. {2410}{2489}I've heard good things about|Quizblorg, Quizblorg. {2494}{2576}I hate subtitles.|Alien films are so pretentious. {2581}{2706}Fellows! How about a film we|can all enjoy? Planet of the Clams. {2712}{2809}About an upside-down world|where lobster is slave to clam. {2814}{2895}Who invited you?|Let's see All My Circuits. {2900}{2931}I wanna see that. {2936}{2973}Good point, Bender! {2978}{3084}- A small slurm.|- For 25 cents less, get a super small. {3089}{3136}Okay. {3258}{3288}Oh, man! {3297}{3421}Give me a large diet malt liquor|and a popcorn with extra motor oil. {3486}{3523}Down in front! {3593}{3705}Glagnar's Human Rinds presents:|This Week in the Universe. {3710}{3824}- This is real futuristic.|- Don't talk during the movie. {3829}{3912}NeW NeW York mayor|C. Randall Poopenmeyer... {3918}{4021}...opens a neW tube line|to alleviate rush-hour traffic. {4082}{4186}Dateline, Paramecium HomeWorld.|Miss Universe Gladys Lennox... {4192}{4332}...entertains troops fighting to Wipe|out the human race. Go get 'em, boys! {4337}{4449}In Ultimate Robot Fighting,|The Masked Unit Wins against... {4455}{4546}...Gorgeous Gonks by|technical melting. {4552}{4596}Go, Masked Unit! {4656}{4703}Hey, buddy? Yo! {4708}{4807}- Mind taking your head off?|- I need it to watch the movie. {4813}{4888}Ask Flabby here to describe|it to you later. {4893}{4953}She is as the factory made her. {4958}{5044}They should have stopped|about halfway through. {5733}{5816}Well, that finishes this paperWork. {5844}{5876}Calculon Enterprises. {5882}{5969}A fight scene has broken out|at the Warehouse! {5974}{6091}Come quickly, before an explosion|chases someone doWn a hallWay. {6117}{6166}I have no choice but to... {6172}{6302}If you Want Calculon to race to the|battle in his Hover Ferrari, press 1. {6308}{6424}If you Want Calculon to double-check|his paperWork, press 2. {6467}{6523}- You have pressed 2.|- I didn't! {6528}{6577}I'm almost positive you did. {6630}{6745}Add in the carryover from form|16-A, then deduct line 2-B. {6858}{6941}Pardon me, sir.|But you seem to be kicking my seat. {6946}{7016}"Pardon me, sir.|But you seem to be..." {7046}{7125}That's the gist of what I said.|Would you mind? {7130}{7181}Sure thing, pal. {7305}{7333}Sir? {7338}{7382}- Who threw that?|- That's it! {7388}{7476}Sir, I challenge you to fisticuffs. {7550}{7601}Oh, I'm boned. {7711}{7771}Let's all go to the lobby! {7932}{8021}I'm gonna open a pile of|whup-ass on you! {8209}{8268}Do you know who that was? {8342}{8451}Cripes! The Masked Unit!|You knocked him out cold! {8462}{8496}Wow, I'm impressed! {8547}{8616}I'm the commissioner|of Robot Fighting. {8622}{8735}A connoisseur of jerks who pick|fights. And you're the biggest. {8740}{8852}- You should see me at funerals.|- I want you in the League. {8857}{8944}Ultimate Robot Fighting?|Sounds pleasant. I'll do it. {8987}{9041}My hero! {9068}{9171}They don't make movies|like this anymore. {9295}{9375}I'm gonna be the greatest|robot fighter ever! {9380}{9460}Float like a float-bot,|sting like a stinging machine! {9465}{9595}You can't be a robot fighter. It's|the most brutal form of competition. {9605}{9646}- It is?|- There are no rules. {9652}{9717}Two robots enter,|one robot leaves. {9723}{9801}The other leaves after being|declared the winner. {9807}{9917}- That doesn't sound so bad.|- Did I mention the crippling pain? {9923}{9992}I'm pretty sure I did.|Yes, definitely. {9997}{10097}Crippling? That's not covered by|my insurance. Count me out. {10103}{10197}You've got to do it.|I don't care how suicidal it is. {10202}{10282}How come when I want to have fun|you're against it? {10288}{10394}This is more important than that|marble-eating contest. {10400}{10518}- Let me tell you a story.|- Oh, again with the orphanarium. {10523}{10607}When I was growing up,|I got picked on a lot. {10613}{10691}My only outlet was|Octouran Kung Fu. {10816}{10911}Excellent. Bill, Keith,|you will go to championships. {10916}{10984}Bill, congratulate Keith|when he wakes up. {10989}{11070}But I can beat these dorks|with one eye closed. {11075}{11147}Perhaps. There is more|to winning than that. {11153}{11271}- You lack the will of a warrior.|- What do you mean? Watch this. {11327}{11441}No girl has the will of a warrior.|You have the will of a housewife. {11446}{11537}- At best, the schoolmarm.|- I'll take you on right now. {11542}{11654}But I have the will of the warrior.|Therefore, the battle is over. {11660}{11701}The winner?|Me! {11706}{11814}Rematch? You lose again!|Had enough? I thought so! {11898}{11991}I lost my chance.|I won't let you throw away yours. {11996}{12076}She's right.|I don't want to end up like her! {12082}{12127}Count me back in! {12132}{12206}Let's see what you got.|Touch your toes. {12333}{12394}Still can't reach! {12760}{12890}Let's commence preparations|for rumbling! {13071}{13146}Ladies and gentlemen and smizmars! {13152}{13207}Welcome to tonight's main event. {13213}{13371}From Mom's Friendly Robot Factory|in America's heartland, Mexico: {13376}{13425}Bender! {13543}{13673}And in this corner,|from and made of parts unknown: {13690}{13744}The Clear Cutter! {13853}{13932}- Bender rules!|- I got you a Bender hat. {13938}{14046}Wow! Thanks, Hermes!|l... Hey, cut that out! {14068}{14146}You can't hit what you can't see. {14290}{14406}Get up. You can't quit every time|you get an ax in the back. {14445}{14571}Or a drill through your face. Quit|scratching your ax-hole and get back. {14958}{15065}And the winner is...|Bender! {15222}{15352}- Nice work out there, kid.|- He might be dead. I took a life! {15390}{15430}Hi, boss. Yo, dude. {15435}{15488}He's not dead!|What's up? {15493}{15608}You didn't read the pamphlet?|Ultimate Robot Fighting is a scam. {15613}{15727}Keep it under your head. But the most|popular robot always wins. {15732}{15819}I'm not a great fighter?|I won because I'm popular? {15825}{15891}- Bingo.|- Whoo-hoo, I'm popular! {15897}{15976}You're pure lowest|common denominator. {15982}{16053}Go Bender! Go Bender!|Go Bender! {16141}{16214}Presenting Bender... {16220}{16282}...The Offender! {16287}{16416}I'm just an ex-con trying to go|straight and get my kids back. {16470}{16491}Versus... {16496}{16566}...Billionaire Bot! {16873}{16897}Versus... {16903}{16946}...The Foreigner! {16957}{17052}I'm not from here!|I have my own customs! {17058}{17141}Look at my crazy passport! {17302}{17327}Versus... {17333}{17433}...The Chain Smoker! {17461}{17539}I love smoking.|And after I win the fight... {17545}{17641}...l'm headed straight to your|favorite restaurant. {17958}{18066}You know, I'm also|an Ultimate Robot Lover. {18078}{18129}You're three hours late. {18134}{18211}You can't give up.|Both of us worked so hard. {18216}{18270}- "We"?|- I said "us." {18275}{18388}Bender The Offender doesn't need you!|He doesn't need anybody. {18394}{18524}- What about us, Mr. The Offender?|- Well, I need floozies. Let's roll. {18732}{18851}Howdy, chief. What do you say I fight|these two bimbos in some mud? {18857}{18908}We're going in a|different direction. {18913}{19005}We wouldn't be fighting|in the conventional sense. {19010}{19046}You're slipping. {19052}{19151}Sales of Bender Brand|bath soaps are down 20 percent. {19171}{19262}Those morons!|I said peaberry, not sandalwood! {19267}{19356}If you can't move sandalwood,|you don't belong here! {19362}{19467}- You'll lose next week's title match.|- But the crowd loves me. {19472}{19546}Let's see how they feel|about your new persona. {19552}{19632}- The Gender Bender!|- The most unpopular fighter... {19638}{19714}...since Sergeant Feces Processor. {19719}{19800}Oh, yeah?|What if I don't let the new guy win? {19805}{19901}Then he'll just beat you the|old-fashioned way: to death! {19907}{19966}Melissa, send in the new kid. {20027}{20119}I am Destructor. {20168}{20205}See you at the fight. {20257}{20341}I said, "See you at the fight."|And that's the story. {20347}{20424}I thought it was real,|like pro wrestling. {20428}{20477}But it's fixed, like boxing. {20482}{20589}It's one thing to win a fixed fight.|There's dignity. But to lose? {20595}{20661}And in this atrocity? {20673}{20755}I can't do it.|You've gotta train me to win. {20760}{20852}No! You wouldn't take my help|when you didn't need it... {20858}{20893}...so why now? {20898}{21011}- What are you talking about?|- I don't know. But I'm not helping. {21023}{21103}You loved him as|Bender The Offender! {21108}{21191}Get ready to hate him|as he threatens your sexuality... {21196}{21306}...in his neW persona:|The Gender Bender! {21327}{21381}I'm a real toughie. {21386}{21488}Squaring off this Sunday|versus Destructor! {21500}{21591}I Will destroy you! {21633}{21676}And stop calling me. {21681}{21738}I am his trainer,|Master Funog. {21744}{21861}He Will be victorious for|he has the Will of a Warrior. {21867}{21902}Not Funog! {21908}{22004}Let's hit the gym.|I'll teach you to fight like a girl! {22010}{22116}I'll put on my tutu. {22302}{22393}Hello, and Welcome to a remarkable|championship bout. {22398}{22476}Destructor, a robotic armored tank... {22481}{22585}...Whose very use at battle has been|ruled a War crime... {22590}{22710}...versus Gender Bender,|Who Wears a pink tutu. {22715}{22827}This is Rich Little imitating|Howard Cosell, here at ringside... {22833}{22931}...with George Foreman.|George, a word in edgewise? {22936}{23016}This could be the most|one-sided fight since 1973... {23021}{23101}...when Ali faced an 80-foot tall|Joe Frazier. {23107}{23201}My memory is not so good,|but I think the Earth was destroyed. {23207}{23249}Interesting, if true. {23255}{23374}The Vegas odds tonight stand at an|unprecedented 1000-0. {23380}{23483}A bet of $0|on Bender pays $1000... {23489}{23579}...if he wins.|Still, very few takers. {23585}{23627}It's not a smart bet. {23677}{23794}You're supposed to prance out and|tickle him with your fairy wand. {23800}{23862}Instead, prance out|and kick his head off. {23867}{23941}Got it.|Large kickle, hold the tickle. {23957}{24059}- Thank God I'm free of that nightmare!|- Sorry. Here you go. {24064}{24123}Thanks.|It was cold on the floor. {24128}{24193}- Professor, I got you a program.|- Good. {24198}{24276}Just let me put on my|reading glasses. {24317}{24441}Why, Zoidberg! There's a lovely|photo of you in here! {24530}{24660}In this corner, the confused young|robot with the golden curls... {24668}{24760}...weighing 525 pounds... {24765}{24844}...The Gender Bender! {24947}{24998}Get that hippie out! {25003}{25064}And in these two corners... {25070}{25137}...weighing 400 tons... {25143}{25261}...the gizmo from Pismo...|Beach! {25271}{25348}Destructor! {25428}{25536}We meet again. Girl who acts|like fighter, training fighter... {25541}{25641}...who acts like girl.|- Keep laughing, Funog. {25708}{25791}- Ready?|- I was built ready. Give me the bell. {25797}{25838}Did you hear a noise? {26078}{26151}Final boarding call|for Flight 406... {26156}{26241}...non-stop service to pain. {26268}{26346}Now boarding standby passengers... {26500}{26578}It's a good time|to bring up my new grill. {26583}{26706}With its patented design, the fat|drains directly into my mouth. {26851}{26939}Fry! Throw in the towel! {26983}{27053}For God's sakes, Fry. {27165}{27231}That's exactly what I was thinking. {27413}{27520}- Mommy!|- Funog, that's enough. Call him off. {27525}{27577}Funog? {27729}{27794}Why won't anyone help me? {27979}{28043}So once more we meet again. {28067}{28140}You're just controlling him|like a puppet. {28145}{28222}I mean, cheating in a fake fight.|That's low. {28227}{28316}Better than being a girl.|Like you. You're a girl! {28324}{28421}Oh, right. Girls lack|the will of the warrior. {28581}{28627}It's Bendering time! {28632}{28706}Take this! And this! {28756}{28866}You were an excellent student.|Too bad I was a lousy teacher. {28996}{29105}I think you misunderstood|the concept of Bendering time. {29136}{29229}See you in girl hell!|I'll be in boy hell, much nicer. {29434}{29471}Yes! {29487}{29526}Yes! {29608}{29654}And the winner is: {29660}{29726}Destructor! {29769}{29837}I've not seen such a spectacle... {29843}{29917}...in all my years|impersonating a sportscaster. {29923}{30064}Interesting side note: As a head|without a body, I envy the dead. {30069}{30114}No argument here. {30209}{30271}I heard somebody got flattened! {30277}{30336}Fry, where's your brain slug? {30370}{30436}Poor little guy starved to death. {30442}{30526}I'm proud of you.|Sure, you lost. You lost bad. {30531}{30663}But I beat up someone who hurt|my feelings in high school. {30672}{30743}I'm in tremendous pain here. {30753}{30849}Great job. You lost, and you made it|look almost half real. {30855}{30957}Here's a card good for 10%% % off|at Bed Bath & Beyond. {31014}{31136}Yes! I'm the greatest!|The greatest! Oh... {31158}{31204}So ends the chronicle... {31210}{31297}...of one of the greatest ever|to play the sport. {31303}{31426}- He didn't look half bad in the tutu.|- That he did surely not. {31431}{31456}What? {32383}{32408}Subtitles by|SDI Media Group {32412}{32437}[ENGLISH] {32477}{32877}Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org

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