Original subtitles

OH! BOOB OR BOTTLE?

BOTTLE.

OH, THANK GOD.

SO HOW YOU DOING?

I'M EXHAUSTED, MY BACK HURTS,

AND MY LIFE HAS BEEN REDUCED TO MILK AND POO-POO.

WHAT WAS IT BEFORE, WHITE WINE AND POO-POO? STOP COMPLAININ'.

YOU KNOW, I'M TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT HOW I'M NO FUN ANYMORE.

WELL, YOU'RE NOT ANY FUN ANYMORE.

REMEMBER WHEN WE USED TO KINDA GO AT IT ALL THE TIME?

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SPARK? WELL, I GUESS IT'S GONE.

YEAH. CAN YOU HOLD THE BABY FOR A SECOND?

NO, I'M GETTING SOME SNACKS HERE. HOLD ON ONE SECOND. I NEED YOU TO HOLD THE BABY NOW!

OOH! OOH!

HEY. WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN HERE?

OH, JIM'S JUST HELPING ME GET MY SPARK BACK.

WELL, HE NEEDS TO BE CHANGED.

OH.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? SHE SCARED ME TO DEATH.

♪♪♪

OH! LOOK AT THE WAY HIS LITTLE MOUTH OPENS

WHEN HE BREATHES.

I WANT TO GO TO BED.

(scoffs) YOU'D RATHER GO TO BED EARLY

THAN WATCH THIS TINY MIRACLE?

UNLESS THERE'S SOME PAINT WE CAN WATCH DRY. OH.

ANOTHER NIGHT I'LL NEVER GET BACK.

WELL, YOUR MOMMY WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF LOOKING AT YOU.

OH.

UGH. WHATEVER.

YOU RUINED A LOVELY EVENING.

NO. NO. I THINK THE EVENING WAS RUINED WHEN YOU THOUGHT,

"I KNOW. I'LL TAKE JIM TO A MUSICAL..."

(scoffs)

"WHERE CATS ARE SINGING."

YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE IT A CHANCE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU BOOED DURING THE FIRST SONG.

I HAD A LITTLE LOGIC PROBLEM.

CATS WERE SINGIN'!

IT'S A MUSICAL!

YOU'RE A MUSICAL.

THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE.

WOULD IT MAKE MORE SENSE TO YOU IF A CAT SUNG IT?

YOU KNOW WHAT? 800 PEOPLE GAVE IT A STANDING OVATION.

THEY WERE APPLAUDING BECAUSE IT WAS OVER,

AND THEY WERE STANDING BECAUSE THEY WERE EXCITED TO LEAVE!

SO JIM DIDN'T LIKE "CATS."

WHO COULD'VE POSSIBLY SEEN THAT COMING?

YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

IF YOU HADN'T GOTTEN PREGNANT,

WE'D BE IN THE BAR AT THE DRAKE HOTEL RIGHT NOW

TALKING ABOUT WHAT A FABULOUS SHOW IT WAS

AND GETTING HIT ON BY JAPANESE BUSINESS MEN. MY FAULT? THAT'S CRAZY.

YOU KNOW WHAT, DANA? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. HUH.

IF YOU DIDN'T GET PREGNANT, I'D BE AT STEVIE B's RIGHT NOW

TALKING WITH ANDY ABOUT HOW GREAT THE GAME IS

AND FLIRTING WITH THE JAPANESE WAITRESSES.

ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU TWO CAN FIND ANOTHER BABYSITTER

FOR THE NEXT SIX MUSICALS.

SIX MUSICALS?

SIX MORE MUSICALS?

IT'S A SERIES! UH-HUH.

YOU KNOW, WE SAVED $10 BY BUYING THE WHOLE PACKAGE.

OH! (laughs)

CHERYL, OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

I WILL GO TO ONE MORE MUSICAL WITH YOU. OH!

I WANT TO GO TO THE ONE THAT'S ENTITLED

♪ NO FRICKIN' WAY ♪

NO WAY AM I GOING TO SIX MORE MUSICALS!

CHERYL, JUST BECAUSE DANA'S GOT A LITTLE BABY,

DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN TURN ME INTO YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU INTO MY GIRLFRIEND.

YES, YOU DO. NO!

YOU TAKE ME TO MUSICALS, AND THEN AT HALFTIME

YOU WANT TO GOSSIP ABOUT ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND.

INTERMISSION.

INTERMISSION, HALFTIME... IT DOESN'T MATTER.

THEN YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN ON THE WAY HOME.

"OH, GOD, DID YOU SEE HER?

OOH WITH HER HAIR. OOH, THAT HAT." COME ON.

THAT'S NOT ME, HONEY. THAT'S NOT ME.

IS IT SO CRAZY THAT I WANT TO GO TO A GALLERY

OR A MUSICAL OR GO SHOPPING?

NO, IT'S JUST CRAZY THAT YOU THINK

I'D WANT TO DO THAT WITH YOU, CHERYL.

FINE. I'LL JUST STAY HERE WITH YOU IN YOUR CAVE

UNTIL DANA'S KIDS GROW UP.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED? YOU NEED A GAY FRIEND.

OH. COME ON.

NO, THAT'S WHAT YOU NEED.

SERIOUSLY, A GAY FRIEND WOULD BE PERFECT FOR YOU.

YOU GUYS COULD CHAT ON THE PHONE ABOUT MOVIES AND BOOK REVIEWS,

AND THEN YOU GUYS COULD WATCH THAT SHOW...

"GREY'S ANATOMY."

"GREY'S ANATOMY." YOU COULD WATCH IT TOGETHER.

THAT WOULD BE REALLY GREAT.

DON'T YOU THINK?

OH, BUT WHERE AM I GONNA MEET A GAY GUY?

HMM. AT A MUSICAL?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE SHOULD HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION AT HALFTIME.

INTERMISSION. INTERMISSION.

COME ON.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I COULD GET YOU A GAY GUY. OH, NO, YOU CAN'T.

I CAN FIND YOU A GAY GUY. THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE.

OH, COME ON. WHAT GAY GUY'S GONNA WANT TO HANG OUT

WITH A BORING SUBURBAN HOUSEWIFE?

YOU KNOW WHO THINKS LIKE THAT?

PEOPLE WHO DON'T BELIEVE THAT CATS CAN SING.

♪ NO FRICKIN' WAY ♪

♪ NO FRICKIN' WAY ♪

♪ I'LL FIND YOU A GAY ♪

YOU'LL BE SO HAPPY, THAT I'LL BE DANCING LIKE A CAT.

MEOW! MEOW!

♪ MEOW ♪

ALL RIGHT, I'M JUST GONNA TYPE IN HERE,

"GAY"... AND "FRIEND."

ACTUALLY, YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU...

WHOA!

MAN, THOSE GUYS ARE MORE THAN FRIENDS.

WHOO-HOO! LOOK AT YOU TWO ON A FRIDAY MORNING.

HI, KURT. HOW ARE YA?

HEY.

UH, YOU BRING BY THOSE, UH, TILE SAMPLES?

YES, I DID, BUT I DON'T THINK

THEY CAN COMPETE WITH WHAT YOU WERE JUST LOOKING AT. TOTALLY HIS IDEA.

YEAH, I'M JUST TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO HELP MY MARRIAGE.

SURE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST CALL ME WITH YOUR TILE CHOICES.

PERSONALLY, I THINK THE ITALIAN MOSAIC

IS FANTASTICO.

HEY, KURT'S AN INTERIOR DESIGNER. (gasps) I SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING.

HE'S IN A CREATIVE BUSINESS. HE MIGHT KNOW A GAY.

KURT...

KURT, MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME OUT.

UM, I'M LOOKING FOR A GUY TO DO THINGS WITH MY WIFE

THAT I DON'T WANT TO DO.

WHOA. YOU CAN PUT AN AD ON craigslist

LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, OKAY?

BESIDES, I'M GAY, TOO.

"TOO"? OH, YOU THOUGHT...

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

YEAH, NO.

OH, THAT DOES MAKE MORE SENSE.

I MEAN, I'VE NEVER GOTTEN A GAY VIBE FROM JIM BEFORE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? DO YOU LIKE MUSICALS?

'CAUSE MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME OUT.

MY WIFE WANTS ME TO GO TO MUSICALS,

AND I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO TO 'EM. OH, I ADORE MUSICALS.

YOUR WIFE ACTUALLY THOUGHT A MAN LIKE YOU WOULD ENJOY THEM?

(scoffs) YEAH. WOMEN. PFFT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THEM?

UH, NOT MUCH. (laughs)

(both laughing)

PRETTY GOOD.

COME ON, CHERYL! HURRY UP.

GAY GUYS ARE ALWAYS ON TIME.

COME ON. COME ON...

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUTFIT NUMBER EIGHT?

BETTER... (sighs)

BUT CAN YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE HAIR?

WHAT?

WELL, IT'S JUST SO "MELROSE PLACE."

OH.

(doorbell rings) HE'S HERE. HE'S HERE. HE'S HERE.

OKAY, JUST CALM DOWN. BE COOL. BE COOL. BE COOL.

BE COOL!

COOL, COOL, COOL... COOL.

HEY.

YOU HAVE ANY TROUBLE FINDING THE PLACE?

NO. THE RAINBOW FLAG

AND THE PINK BALLOONS ON YOUR MAILBOX REALLY HELPED.

WELL, YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, SIR.

PLEASE, COME IN.

YOU MUST BE CHERYL.

HI, KURT. IT IS SO NICE TO MEET YOU.

WOW. OH.

I HAVE TO SAY, BASED ON JIM,

I WAS EXPECTING SOMEONE A LITTLE... STURDIER.

LOOK AT YOU! YOU'RE GORGEOUS.

OH, THANK YOU.

I PICKED OUT THE OUTFIT.

I'M ASSUMING THAT YOU HAVEN'T BEEN

TO A RESTAURANT WITHOUT A COWBOY IN THE LOGO IN SOME TIME.

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO... I SAY YES. I SAY, YES, YES, YES. WHEREVER IT IS, TAKE ME THERE!

OH, OH, AND AFTER THE THEATER,

CAN WE PLEASE GO FOR CUPCAKES AND LATTES AT... SPRINKLES CANDY STORE!

(both squealing)

(high-pitched voice) YAY!

WE ARE GONNA HAVE FUN TONIGHT.

OH, I KNOW. WAIT. HOW IS IT THAT A GIRL LIKE YOU

DOESN'T ALREADY HAVE A GAY FRIEND? OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,

I'VE GOT THREE KIDS, AND I VOLUNTEER A LOT.

I FIGURED ONCE THE KIDS WERE OLDER, I'D PURSUE IT. (laughs)

HA HA HA HA HA!

YOU DIDN'T GET THAT JOKE, DID YOU?

NOPE! AND TONIGHT, I DON'T HAVE TO.

ALL RIGHT. HAVE A GOOD TIME.

HEY, KURT. YOU BRING HER HOME AFTER MIDNIGHT,

YOU CAN KEEP THE PINK BALLOONS!

OKAY, ON THE 15th, KURT AND I ARE GOING

TO AN ART OPENING AT THE JACKSON GALLERY.

PERFECT, AND ANDY AND I WILL STAY HOME

AND WATCH "THE BLUES BROTHERS."

OKAY, AND ON THE 18th,

WE'RE GOING TO THE ARBORETUM FOR THE FESTIVAL OF POSIES.

HMM. THAT'S PERFECT. ANDY AND I WILL STAY HOME

AND WATCH THE FESTIVAL OF LADIES' VOLLEYBALL.

GREAT. I'M GONNA CALL KURT AND LOCK IN THOSE PLANS.

(singsong voice) BE SURE TO SAY HI!

WOW, MAN.

YOU'VE GOT IT MADE SINCE CHERYL HOOKED UP WITH KURT.

YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I SHOULD HAVE GOT HER A BOYFRIEND

THE DAY WE GOT MARRIED.

(Cheryl) NO! DAMN IT! WHY?!

WHAT? WHAT?

THE DREAM IS DEAD. THE DREAM IS DEAD.

WHAT HAPPENED?

OH, KURT JUST TEXTED ME. HE'S CANCELING ALL OUR PLANS.

NO! DAMN IT! WHY?!

HE'S TOO DEPRESSED TO GO ANYWHERE.

HIS BOYFRIEND JUST BROKE UP WITH HIM.

BOYFRIEND? PRETTY GAY.

WELL, I'M SORRY, JIM.

IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S YOU AND ME BACK AT THE MUSICALS.

NO, NO, NO. YES. YEAH.

I FIXED THIS PROBLEM. I DON'T WANNA GO BACK.

WHERE IS KURT RIGHT NOW?

DROWNING HIS SORROWS AT STEFAN B's.

WELL, MAYBE YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT FOR YOUR MAN,

BUT I WILL!

ANDY, COME ON. WE'RE GOING TO A GAY BAR.

OKAY. L-LET ME PUT ON MY SPECIAL TIGHT PANTS.

I DON'T LIKE PAYING FOR MY OWN DRINKS.

OH, COME ON.

(slow jazz music playing)

EXCUSE ME. YEAH.

(grunts)

OH, WOW. LOOK AT THESE FANCY MENUS, HUH?

STEFAN B's TAPAS CAFé.

OH, I LOVE TAPAS. THE GAYS HAVE EVERYTHING.

YEAH.

THEY HAVE 11 DIFFERENT KINDS OF MARTINIS.

OH.

HEY, LOOK AT THIS.

ONE'S CALLED PANTS EXPLOSION.

WHY DON'T YOU ASK THE BARTENDER HOW HE MAKES A PANTS EXPLOSION?

EXCUSE ME, SIR?

I WAS WONDERING, UH... HEY, THAT'S NOT ON THE MENU.

(laughs)

HEY. THERE'S KURT RIGHT THERE. KURT! KURT.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?

AW, CHERYL TOLD US YOU WERE HERE.

SHE SAID YOU GOT DUMPED.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

MAYBE SOMETHING WILL MAKE YOU LESS MISERABLE,

LIKE TWO TICKETS TO "LESS MISERABLES."

I'M TOO DEPRESSED TO GO TO A MUSICAL.

TOO DEPRESSED TO GO TO A MUSICAL?

AND YOU CALL YOURSELF GAY? HEY. WHAT ARE THESE?

OH, WASABI SOY NUTS. THEY'RE HIGHLY ADDICTIVE.

OH, MY GOD, JIM, THEY'RE DELICIOUS. YEAH.

THAT'S IT. I'M SIGNING UP. HEY, GUYS. GUYS, I'M IN.

LISTEN, MAN, WHY... YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE UP LIKE THIS.

YOU GOTTA FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

HEY, WHY DON'T WE FIND ANOTHER GUY FOR YOU?

ALL RIGHT. WHY DON'T WE TRY THAT?

MAYBE IT'LL MAKE THE OTHER GUY JEALOUS,

AND HE'LL COME RUNNING BACK. JIM, PLEASE.

I KNOW EVERYBODY HERE, AND SO DOES MY EX.

WELL, HOW ABOUT ANDY? HE'S CUTE AND CUDDLY,

AND HE'S KINDA CURIOUS ABOUT YOUR WORLD.

JIM, HOW DO I SAY THIS TACTFULLY?

I WANT DARRYL TO BE JEALOUS,

NOT... AMUSED.

I WANNA SAY, "LOOK HOW WELL I'M DOING,"

NOT "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE REDUCED ME TO."

I WANNA SAY "SUCCESS"... YEAH, YEAH, WE GET IT.

I DIDN'T COME TO A GAY BAR TO GET REJECTED.

I CAN GET THAT AT ANY BAR.

EXCUSE ME. THE GENTLEMAN AT THE BAR

WOULD LIKE TO OFFER YOU AN UNDERSEA ADVENTURE.

OH, PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S A DRINK.

THANKS.

THANKS.

I...

SHH!

YOU KNOW, THERE IS ONE KIND OF GUY

THAT WOULD MAKE DARRYL CRAZY WITH JEALOUSY.

POLICEMAN? COWBOY? INDIAN CHIEF?

ACTUALLY, IT WOULD BE CONSTRUCTION WORKER.

(Cheryl laughing)

STOP LAUGHING, CHERYL. WHAT IS SO DAMN FUNNY?

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

TO GET OUT OF GOING TO A MUSICAL,

YOU GOT YOURSELF A BOYFRIEND?

NO, I DIDN'T, AND I'M NOT DOING IT.

OH, COME ON. WHY NOT? IT'S... IT'S JUST A DATE.

IT'S A NIGHT OUT WITH A FRIEND.

WHERE I'M GAY?

OH.

NOT ACTUALLY GAY... PRETENDING TO BE GAY.

HEY, JUST DON'T LET HIM GET PAST SECOND BASE.

CHERYL, I DON'T THINK THE GAYS HAVE SECOND BASE.

ONCE YOU PICK UP THE BAT, IT'S A HOME RUN.

LOOK, THIS CAN GET KURT BACK IN OUR LIVES.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

CHERYL, YES, IT IS. OH.

I MEAN, YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS,

BUT I AM ONE HOT PIECE OF MAN CANDY. (laughs)

I AM, AND IF I GO THERE, THEY'RE GONNA ALL HIT ON ME.

ONE GUY ALREADY DID HIT ON ME, AND HE WAS MARRIED.

IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT!

YOU LIKE GETTING HIT ON.

BY WOMEN, NOT MEN.

WITH MEN, IT'S ONE THING... WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU, SAM.

OKAY. WHA...

WHAT IF I CAME ALONG TO PROTECT YOU?

I DON'T KNOW. YEAH, YEAH. I CAN SHOW YOU WAYS TO SORT OF DEAL WITH MEN.

LIKE HOW? WELL, LIKE THE SLIP 'N' SLIDE.

I THINK THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT TO DO WITH ME.

NO, JIM. IT'S A WAY TO GET AWAY FROM A CREEP IN A BAR.

SLIP INTO THE CROWD AND SLIDE AWAY.

SLIP INTO THE CROWD AND SLIDE AWAY.

AND THEN, IF THEY GO TO KISS YOU...

CHICKEN NECK.

WAIT. YOU WERE JUST DESCRIBING THE NIGHT WE MET.

SLIP AND SLIDE.

(jazz music playing)

I DON'T KNOW, CHERYL.

ARE WE SURE HE CAN PULL THIS OFF? WELL, I THINK SO.

I TOLD HIM TO HAVE A COUPLE DRINKS AND RELAX.

THAT'S WHAT WE TELL ALL THE FIRST-TIMERS.

(laughs)

HEY, GIRLFRIEND!

I AM SO SORRY I AM LATE.

I MEAN, IT TOOK ME FOREVER

TO FIND A PARKING METER WITH TIME STILL ON IT. OH.

WHAT'S THE MATTER? I CAN'T BE GAY AND CHEAP, TOO?

TALK TO YOUR OWN DATE. SHE'S MINE.

OH, RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. OH, I SEE DARRYL.

OH, OH, OKAY. REMEMBER, YOU MET AT YOGA CLASS.

YOU HAVE AN ALL-GAY CONSTRUCTION COMPANY.

AND YOU'RE THINKING OF ADOPTING A REFUGEE BABY. YEAH.

OKAY. GOT IT. UH, DOES THE BABY KNOW I'M GAY?

WELL, HELLO, STRANGER. OH, DARRYL. OH, MY GOD!

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU'D BE HERE.

AND WHO'S THIS CHARMING BEAR OF A MAN?

WHERE ARE MY MANNERS?

DARRYL, THIS IS MY FRIEND JIM.

IN-CHANTé.

AND THESE ARE MY TWO FRIENDS CHERYL AND DANA.

THEY'RE BOTH WICKEDLY AWESOME LESBIANS.

DARRYL, NICE TO MEET YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU.

YES. 'SUP.

WELL... (clears throat) SEE YOU AROUND.

WELL, THAT WAS A DISASTER. (Cheryl) OH, OKAY.

WELL, DON'T BLAME ME. I BENT OVER BACKWARDS.

MAYBE THAT WAS THE WRONG DIRECTION.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S JUST NO HEAT BETWEEN US, JIM,

NO ZA-ZA-ZOO.

LOOK, I CAN DO GAY. I CAN'T DO "ZA-ZA-ZOO."

(man) ALL RIGHT, BOYS. IT'S 10:00!

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

"SportsCenter" IS ON?

STEFAN B's BECOMES CLUB MAN-DEMONIUM!

WHAT?

(techno music playing) WHAT THE HELL?

THIS IS PERFECT. THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SONG.

DARRYL WILL GO CRAZY.

WHAT... WHAT? CHERYL...

HEY, HEY, HEY!

HEY, YOU GET UP A LITTLE HIGHER THERE.

CHERYL!

ZA-ZA-ZOO!

HEY! HEY! WHOA!

CHICKEN NECK, CHICKEN NECK, CHICKEN NECK.

FANTASTIC. HERE COMES DARRYL. OH, GOD!

EXCUSE ME. DO YOU MIND IF... IF I CUT IN?

NO, PLEASE DO.

HO! OH! OH! OH, OH, OH, OH!

WHATEVER HE DID TO GET YOU, I'LL DO IT BETTER.

UH... SLIP 'N SLIDE.

SLIP 'N SLIDE. OH!

SLIP 'N SLIDE. OH!

(Jim shouts)

PHEW.

ALL RIGHT, KURT. THAT'S ENOUGH. TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.

UH, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? OH, PLEASE. I HAVE THE BEST "STRAIGHT-DAR" IN TOWN.

HE'S NOT GAY. SHE'S NOT GAY.

HER MAYBE.

YES! I NAILED IT!

WELL, IF WE'RE DONE HERE, I GOT BREAST MILK TO PUMP.

I'M SO EMBARRASSED.

I BROUGHT JIM HERE TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS.

I'D DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU BACK.

I MISS YOU, TOO.

OH, COME ON. CAN'T YOU GUYS WORK IT OUT?

NOT UNTIL KURT LEARNS TO COMPROMISE.

OH, DON'T BRING UP THE STUPID FIGHT.

I HAVE SEASON TICKETS TO THE CUBS,

AND HE WON'T GO TO A SINGLE GAME.

YOU KNOW...

IT TAKES TWO TO COMPROMISE, DARRYL.

HMM.

LISTEN, DARRYL, UH,

HOW GOOD ARE THOSE SEATS?

WELL, THEY'RE RIGHT BEHIND THE CUBS' DUGOUT.

OH!

YOU KNOW, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, DARRYL.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED? HMM.

YOU NEED A STRAIGHT FRIEND. OOH.

YEAH. WHY DON'T WE GO TO THE CUBS GAMES

AND LET KURT AND CHERYL GO TO THE MUSICALS?

THAT IS A GREAT IDEA.

NOT GREAT.

(singsong voice) FABULOUS!

WELL, I GUESS WE COULD TRY THAT.

YES!

MAYBE IT IS ASKING TOO MUCH OF YOU TO LIKE BASEBALL.

OH. MMM.

CAN YOU HEAR THEM, CHERYL?

I JUST HELPED TWO GAY MEN FIND...

YOU KNOW, WHATEVER IT IS THEY HAVE WITH EACH OTHER.

YES, YOU DID.

I THINK THAT DESERVES A KISS.

OH.

CHICKEN NECK.

OH.

COME ON, ZA-ZA-ZOO.

YEP.

COMPLETELY GAY. (laughs)

AND MOTHER WON'T LET ME HAVE MY TRUST FUND

UNTIL THE RIGHT GIRL CAN TURN ME BACK.

DOES SHE HAVE TO BE BORN A WOMAN?

WHAT MAMA DON'T KNOW WON'T HURT HER.

♪♪♪