Original subtitles

WHAT'S WRONG, HONEY?

I FORGOT WHY I CAME DOWNSTAIRS.

TO APOLOGIZE TO YOUR WIFE

FOR YEARS OF BOORISH BEHAVIOR?

NO.

APOLOGIZE TO ME FOR YEARS OF BOORISH BEHAVIOR?

MM, NO, DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ME.

WELL, HONEY, WHAT WERE YOU DOING?

I WAS FLOSSING.

I WAS!

OKAY. WHILE YOU WERE FLOSSING,

YOU REALIZED THE FLOSS WASN'T SHREDDING IN YOUR TEETH,

WHICH MEANT I BOUGHT THE BRAND ONLY MILLIONAIRES CAN AFFORD,

WHICH LED YOU TO THINK ABOUT ALL THE OTHER WAYS

THAT MONEY IS THROWN AWAY AROUND THIS HOUSE,

SO YOU STARTED WANDERING AROUND UPSTAIRS,

TURNING DOWN THE THERMOSTAT AND TURNING OFF LIGHTS.

WHILE YOU WERE PACKING A BAG OF KYLE'S CLOTHES

TO SELL AT THE SWAP MEET,

YOU REMEMBERED THAT RUBY SAID SHE DROPPED A HANDFUL OF COINS

IN THE KITCHEN AND A QUARTER HAD ROLLED BEHIND THE REFRIGERATOR,

SO YOU CAME DOWNSTAIRS TO MOVE THE FRIDGE TO GET IT.

THANK YOU.

♪♪♪

ALL RIGHT, GRACIE, COME ON, BLOW OUT THE CANDLES.

WELL, WE SHOULD WAIT FOR UNCLE ANDY'S DATE.

OH, WAIT. CANDLES DON'T BURN THAT LONG.

THE SUN WON'T BURN THAT LONG.

YEP, I'VE GOT NO DATE. VERY FUNNY.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I DON'T HAVE?

A GIFT FOR MY SNIDE YOUNG NIECE.

HOW'S THAT CRAP SANDWICH TASTE, BIRTHDAY ANGEL?

AAH! OW, OW!

ANDY, NICE JOB.

YOU JUST GOT BEAT UP BY A 10 YEAR OLD.

SHE'S 11.

JUST IGNORE WHAT I WROTE IN YOUR CARD, GRACIE.

COME ON, SWEETIE. BLOW OUT THE CANDLES. MAKE A WISH.

HEY, THIS HOUSE IS ROCKIN'...

SO WE'RE NOT KNOCKIN'!

YOU WISHED FOR THE DEVLINS?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

TIM, CINDY, WE WEREN'T EXPECTING YOU.

YEAH, OTHERWISE, WE WOULD HAVE LOCKED THE DOOR.

(both laugh)

HEY, TIMMY TIMMY KOKO BOP,

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE JUST IN TIME FOR A B-DAY PARTY.

I SEE THAT, PIRATES OF THE CINDI-BBEAN.

LUCKILY, I ALWAYS TRAVEL WITH A PARTY IN MY PANTS.

(all) UGH!

(horn tooting)

OKAY, GRACIE, I'M GONNA RELIGHT THESE CANDLES,

AND YOU MAKE A WISH FOR THEM TO LEAVE.

TIM, CINDY, WE'RE KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING,

SO I DON'T WANT TO BE RUDE... I WILL. GO!

(laughing)

DON'T MIND US, RIGHT? IT'S LIKE WE'RE NOT EVEN HERE.

YEAH, SURE, UNTIL CAPTAIN BANANA HAMMOCK

RIPS OFF HIS PANTS.

OOH! YIKES, DANA,

YOU MIGHT WANNA LAY OFF THE CAKE.

LOOKS LIKE IT WASN'T ALL BABY IN THAT TUM-TUM-TUMMY.

I AM 5 POUNDS OVER MY PRE-BABY WEIGHT.

WELL, HOW COME ANDY LOOKS LIKE THE SKINNY ONE, HMM?

(giggles)

HEY, I GOT A RIDDLE FOR YOU GUYS.

OOH, WE LOVE RIDDLES! YEAH, WHAT IS IT? GO, GO!

WHAT WEARS MATCHING TRACK SUITS

AND NEEDS TO GET OUTTA MY HOUSE?

(both laugh)

BURNED!

TO A CRISP! OW!

YOU JUST CRACK US UP. IT'S GONNA BE REALLY HARD

FOR ONE OF US TO NEVER SEE YOU EVER AGAIN.

I'M LISTENING.

I'LL START, I'LL START. WE... ARE...

GET... TING...

A... DI...

VORCE. (gasps) DIVORCE?

THIS IS MY BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.

THE LAWYER TOLD US TO DIVIDE EVERYTHING IN HALF.

EVEN THE BAD... NEWS.

YOU GUYS JUST SEEMED SO RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER

AND WRONG FOR ANYONE ELSE.

TRUE.

BUT WE'VE ALREADY WORKED OUT THE DIVORCE SETTLEMENT.

WHO GETS THE 3,000 MATCHING TRACKSUITS?

HEY, DO YOU WANT 'EM? 'CAUSE THEY'LL STRETCH TO COVER THAT.

BUT WE JUST CAN'T DECIDE

WHO SHOULD GET OUR TWO BESTEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

JESUS AND SANTA?

NO, SILLY.

M.C. CHERYL AND D.J. JAZZY JIM.

SO WE DECIDED TO HAVE YOU PICK.

WHO DO YOU WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH, HUH?

ARE WE ALLOWED TO PICK... NEITHER?

STOP BEING SUCH A GIGGLE PUSS.

NOW WHO DO YOU WANT? HOT TIMES SUMMER IN THE CINDY?

OR THE HUNT FOR RED OC-TIM-BER?

UH, I CHOOSE CINDY.

YEAH, YEAH. CINDY. CINDY'LL BE FINE.

10-LETTER WORD FOR FLYING REPTILE.

IS IT ACROSS OR DOWN? DOWN.

HUH. I DON'T DO DOWN. NEVER HAVE, NEVER WILL.

HEY, HEY, HEY! WHAT DO YOU SAY ON THIS FINE, FINE DAY?

I SAY THE SAME THING I SAID YESTERDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE...

GET OUT AND STAY OUT.

(laughs)

YOU'RE ALWAYS ON.

OH, I LOVE IT.

OH, THIS PLACE IS FUN, EVEN FOR A GAY DIVORCéE...

(gasps) OH, ANDY, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU.

I MEAN THE HAPPY GAY,

NOT THE DISCO DANCING, LEATHER PANTS GAY.

HAVING LEATHER PANTS DOESN'T MAKE... I'M NOT GAY.

REALLY? THEN EXPLAIN THE HAIRCUT.

WELL, I'M GONNA GO TO THE KITCHEN.

WHY?

WHY?

I'M OUT OF BEER.

JIM...

FREEZE, BLONDIE!

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

THE PHARMACY. YOU WENT THERE YESTERDAY.

AT THE BANK. IT'S CLOSED.

MEXICO?

CHERYL, IF YOU'RE GONNA GO TO MEXICO,

THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS KILL ME FIRST.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I CAN'T LEAVE YOU HERE ALONE.

(sighs)

OH, DAMN, WE'RE OUTTA BEER.

I GOTTA GO TO THE STORE AND GET SOME MORE.

FREEZE.

LOOK, HONEY, THIS CAN'T LAST FOREVER.

I MEAN, CINDY'S LONELY RIGHT NOW, BUT PRETTY SOON

SHE'LL LATCH ONTO SOME POOR SAP AND BE OUT OF OUR LIVES FOREVER.

OH, DO YOU PROMISE? YES, HONEY, I PROMISE.

HOW DID WE EVER GET INTO THIS?

OF COURSE I PROMISE. YOU JUST GOTTA RELAX. JUST CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE...

(both gasp)

(both) AAH!

(both) AAH!

(laughing)

(crying)

HEY, CHERYL, CHECK IT OUT. THREE WEEKS LATER,

AND I'M ALREADY BACK IN MY PRE-PREGNANCY PANTS.

OH...

I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG, BUT ON THE WAY OVER HERE,

A CONSTRUCTION WORKER TOTALLY WHISTLED AT ME.

UM, HONEY, ARE THOSE YOUR PREGNANCY UNDERWEAR?

WHAT?

YEAH, I CAN SEE YOUR WHOLE BACKYARD.

YEAH, YOU MIGHT WANNA GO BORROW SOME SWEATS.

I WENT TO THE MALL. AW...

HI, HONEY. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

HELL. CHERYL, HELL, PURE HELL.

ANDY, ON MONDAY,

JUST CHATTERED ALL DAY LONG ABOUT CINDY.

OH, THAT'S CUTE.

TUESDAY WAS "TAKE CINDY TO WORK DAY,"

SWEET!

AND TODAY WAS "TAKE CINDY AT WORK DAY."

ALL RIGHT, THAT I DID NOT NEED TO HEAR.

HEAR? I HAD TO WALK IN ON IT.

JIM, IT'S NEW LOVE.

NO, IT'S NOT, CHERYL. IT'S A DISEASE.

OH...

ANDY'S CHANGED. HE'S CHANGED THE WAY HE WALKS,

THE WAY HE TALKS, THE WAY HE'S DRESSED. HE'S BECOMING A DEVLIN.

OH, YOU'RE ACTING LIKE HE'S POSSESSED. HE IS POSSESSED.

HEY, HEY, HEY!

WHAT DO YOU SAY ON THIS FINE, FINE DAY?

HEY, YOU TWO. SORRY ABOUT HOGGING

THE SPACE SHUTTLE "ATLANDY" THIS WEEK.

OH, WE'LL MAKE IT UP TO 'EM, SALT LAKE CINDY.

WE, UH, WANTED TO INVITE YOU TWO CATS...

(making meowing sounds)

(growling)

(laughs) OVER TO MY PLACE TO DO SOME HOT TUBBING

AND APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SUCH STRANGERS.

OH, YEAH. I DON'T THINK WE'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE THAT. WHY NOT?

I HAVE NO DESIRE TO GO.

(both laugh)

OF COURSE WE'LL COME TO YOUR PARTY. CHERYL...

NOW IF ONLY I COULD REMEMBER WHAT TIME THE PARTY STARTS.

I KNOW.

HEY, SHOW HIM THE NUMBER TO R.S.V.P.

I KNOW THE PHONE NUMBER! I KNOW THE PHONE NUMBER!

(laughs) HUH?

HEY, LET'S TAKE THIS PARTY OVER TO YOUR PLACE.

CAN I HAVE A PIGGYBACK RIDE? NO, BUT YOU CAN HAVE A PIGGY-FRONT RIDE.

WHOO! OINK, OINK!

OINK, OINK, OINK! ALL THE WAY HOME.

I HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR MY BUTT HANGING OUT. WHAT'S HIS?

THAT'S IT, CHERYL. PUT A POT OF COFFEE ON.

I'M GETTING A PIECE OF PAPER AND A PEN,

AND WE'RE GONNA MAP OUT

A STRATEGY TO BREAK THOSE TWO UP.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NOBODY'S BREAKING ANYBODY UP.

ANDY IS FAMILY, AND IF HE'S HAPPY, WE SHOULD BE HAPPY.

HAPPY? HOW CAN WE BE HAPPY?

HE'S DATING SOMEONE WE TOTALLY HATE.

WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN?

THE SAME WORLD I'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN

SINCE THE FIRST DAY YOU TWO MET.

ONLY ANDY DECIDES WHO HE DATES.

YEAH, I AGREE, BUT THE GUY THAT JUST PRANCED OUT OF HERE

SQUEALING LIKE A PIG IS NOT ANDY.

NO, IT'S LIKE A ZOMBIE MOVIE.

YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD CUT OFF HIS HEAD

AND BURN IT IN A DITCH. JIM, YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO?

WE'RE GONNA GO TO THAT PARTY, AND YOU'RE GONNA BEHAVE,

AND IT'S GONNA BE OVER BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.

HONEY, ANDY'S RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE HIS DIET...

OVER BY LUNCH AND FOLLOWED BY DAYS OF SHAME.

NOPE, I'M STICKING TO MY PLAN AND MY MAP.

HERE WE GO.

HERE'S ANDY'S HOUSE. HERE'S HIS MAILBOX,

AND HERE'S A COBRA.

YOU KNOW WHAT? EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE ANDY'S BUTT NOW.

SO, UH, RUBY GOT AN "A" ON HER HISTORY TEST.

THAT'S JUST TERRIFIC.

YOU KNOW WHAT, CHERYL?

I CAN REACH BACK, GRAB THAT CD PLAYER,

YANK IT IN THE WATER AND END THIS NOW. OH...

WHOO! (laughs)

LOOK AT US, HUH, BUDDY?

WE GOT US A COUPLE FOXY LADIES, DON'T WE, JIM?

YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD IN THAT BATHING SUIT, CHERYL.

AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU LET ME WAX YOU? DID I REALLY LET YOU,

OR DID YOU SNEAK UP ON ME WHILE I WAS NAPPING?

YEP, SHE'S A SNEAKY ONE.

(laughs) CAUGHT ME YESTERDAY.

TELL YOU ONE THING, YOU WAKE UP REFRESHED...

REFRESHED AND SLICK AS A WHISTLE.

OH, ANDY.

HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.

WHY DON'T WE SEE WHICH ONE OF YOU GUYS

CAN HOLD THEIR BREATH THE LONGEST? OH! SOUNDS LIKE A HOOT!

STARTING NOW! OH, YEAH!

CHERYL, CHERYL, CAN'T YOU SEE WE HAVE TO BREAK THEM UP?

OH, YOU ARE NOT BREAKING THEM UP. THEY'RE IN LOVE,

AND IT'S NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. YES, IT IS OUR BUSINESS.

HE'S MY BEST FRIEND, AND SHE IS GONNA RUIN HIS LIFE.

YOU KNOW WHAT SOME PEOPLE SAID TO ME ABOUT YOU?

AND IF I'D LISTENED, WE WOULD NOT BE HERE TODAY.

WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE LISTENED. YOU COULD'VE DONE MUCH BETTER.

WHO WON?

IT WAS A TIE. DO OVER.

I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM HAPPIER. BACK OFF.

I'M NOT GONNA BACK OFF. I'M NOT GONNA BACK OFF.

I WANT MY BUDDY BACK THE WAY HE WAS.

WHAT, PATHETIC AND ALONE? YES! I LOVE THAT GUY.

WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO SAY UNDER THERE?

I SAID, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

(gasps)

MARRY YOU? THAT SEEMS KINDA QUICK...

BUT NOT AS QUICK AS THIS... OF-COURSE-I'LL-MARRY-YOU-

I-LOVE-YOU-SO-MUCH-HAVE... MY-CHILDREN-LET'S-START-NOW!

NO, NO, NO. NOW THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED!

SHE IS THE DEVIL. JIM...

NO, SHE IS. THAT'S WHY SHE WEARS THAT BATHING CAP...

SHE'S HIDING HER HORNS.

(both gasping)

OKAY, I ADMIT SHE'S ANNOYING... SHE IS.

BUT IF ANDY LOVES HER, I LOVE HER. CHERYL...

I THINK SHE'S LICKING MY LEG.

THAT COULD BE ANDY.

OH, AND THAT'S BETTER?

(gasps) IS THAT ANDY'S BATHING SUIT?

FIRST DIBS ON THE SHOWER. RACE YOU!

(laughs)

DANA! OH, DANA,

DO YOU WANT TO SPLIT ANOTHER PAIR OF PANTS?

LET ME TELL YOU HOW I KEEP MY DERRIERE EXTRAORDINAIRE.

I CLENCH MY GLUTES NONSTOP DURING DINNER.

WATCH ME NOW. CLENCH, RELEASE.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, CAN I FEEL? YEAH.

CLENCH... RELEASE...

CLENCH...

WHOA, WHOA, RELEASE.

I CAN BEND A FORK BETWEEN MY CHEEKS.

JIM, LEND ME YOUR FORK. OH, SURE.

NO! CHERYL, IF I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HER,

AT LEAST LET ME SEE THE SHOW. HERE YOU GO.

(doorbell rings) I'LL GET IT.

NO, I'LL GET IT. NO, NO, I'LL GET IT.

LET ME GET IT. I'LL GET IT.

YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T TAKE ANOTHER SECOND IN THERE.

I KNOW. THE LAST THING I NEED IS FOR ANOTHER ONE OF MY SIBLINGS

TO MARRY SOMEONE I CAN'T STAND. HOW DO YOU PUT UP WITH IT?

OH, WE'VE GOT TO HAVE THEM BREAK UP. I GOT A PLAN RIGHT NOW.

WHAT? TIM DEVLIN!

YOU'RE BRILLIANT. HEY, IT'S NOT MY FIRST RODEO, BABY.

HEY. HERE'S THOSE HOT TUB PAMPHLETS YOU WANTED.

DON'T KNOW WHY YOU NEEDED THEM AT EXACTLY 7:30,

BUT THERE YOU GO, JIM.

WELL, THANK YOU. DON'T YOU MEAN, "JIM JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT?"

YOU KNOW, THE CUTESY NICKNAMES WERE KIND OF CINDY'S THING.

SINCE WE'VE SPLIT UP, I'VE TRIED TO BE A LITTLE LESS...

LIKE SOMEONE YOU WANNA STRANGLE? GOOD ONE. I'VE ALWAYS LIKED YOU, JIM.

HA HA, AND I'VE NEVER LIKED YOU. COME ON IN.

UH, LISTEN, UH, THE REASON I BROUGHT YOU HERE

IS BECAUSE I WANTED YOU TO KNOW, FROM US, FROM THE FAMILY,

THAT ANDY AND CINDY ARE ENGAGED.

WOW. YEAH, THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED NEXT WEEK.

THAT'S TERRIBLE! I KNOW. THAT'S WHY I WANTED YOU TO COME BACK, BECAUSE WE THINK

YOU SHOULD GO IN THERE AND FIGHT FOR YOUR WOMAN. YEAH.

NO, I MEAN IT'S TERRIBLE, BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE

OUT OF TOWN NEXT WEEK. SIENNA AND I ARE GOING TO MAUI. (Jim and Dana) SIENNA?

NEW GIRLFRIEND. SWIMSUIT MODEL.

I'M OLDER, GOT A LITTLE MONEY. IT'S NOT THAT HARD, JIM.

COME HERE.

THAT'S HER OUT IN THE CAR.

YEAH. I DON'T LIKE TO BRAG, BUT I'M HITTIN' THAT.

NICE JOB. YEAH.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU BRING HER IN, SO, YOU KNOW,

SHE CAN MEET THE FAMILY? SURE THING, BUT WE CAN'T STAY LONG,

BECAUSE SIENNA'S FRIENDS ARE HAVING A PARTY,

AND I'M THE ONLY ONE OLD ENOUGH TO BUY THE BOOZE.

OKAY. BRING HER IN, BRING HER IN.

GREAT IDEA. SO WHEN CINDY SEES TIM'S NEW GIRLFRIEND,

SHE'LL LOSE IT. NO, I JUST WANTED TO GET A GOOD LOOK AT HER,

BUT THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

OH, THANKS FOR THE SWELL ENGAGEMENT DINNER.

WELL, LOOK WHO IT IS. JIM DEVLIN. WHAT A SURPRISE.

AND WHO IS THIS?

SIENNA, YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND, THE SWIMSUIT MODEL?

WOW, TIM, WHEN YOU SAID "SWIMSUIT MODEL,"

I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT YOU MEANT SOMEONE

WHO WAS A LOT YOUNGER AND MUCH HOTTER THAN CINDY.

JIM, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THIS.

GOLLY, OH! I AM SO SORRY YOU GOT DRAGGED INTO THIS,

TIM-ICHANGA CON QUESO.

YOU SILLY BOOTS. YOU NEED TO WAKE UP

AND SMELL THE YUMMY, HOT CUP OF JAVA.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BREAK UP ME AND W.K.R.P. IN CINDY-NATI.

WE'RE LIKE SEAHORSES. WHAT?

THEY MATE FOR LIFE. I SAW IT ON A CARTOON.

THERE WERE TWO SEAHORSES THAT GOT MARRIED, AND...

HONEY, SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH.

YOU THOUGHT BRINGING TIM-PATHY FOR THE DEVIL INTO THIS HOUSE

WAS GONNA CHANGE THINGS?

NO. I GOTTA SEND YOU GUYS A TELEGRAM.

CINDY LOVES ANDY. STOP.

NOTHING'S EVER GONNA BREAK US UP. STOP.

OH, GOD. TAKE ME BACK, TAKE ME BACK!

STOP!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE STILL MY MR. TIM-BOURINE MAN.

AREN'T I STILL YOUR BREAKFAST AT TIFF-CINDY'S?

LISTEN TO ME.

YOU ARE A WONDERFUL AND KIND AND STRANGE WOMAN.

BUT IF I'VE LEARNED ANYTHING FROM MY THREE DAYS WITH SIENNA,

IT'S THAT I LIKE HAVING SEX WITH HER.

SO YOU TAKE CARE, OKAY?

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MISTER.

YOU KISS ME ONE MORE TIME,

AND THEN TELL ME YOU'RE READY TO WALK AWAY.

OKAY, TAKE CARE.

HONEY.

OOH, CAN I DRIVE? CAN I DRIVE? I NEED TO PRACTICE.

BYE!

I'M HITTIN' THAT.

OKAY, SO WHERE WERE WE?

OH, WEDDING PLANS... DEEJAY OR BAND?

CHERYL, SAY SOMETHING TO HIM AND RUIN HIS DAY,

OR KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND RUIN HIS LIFE.

ANDY, IF WE HAVE A BOY, CAN WE NAME HIM TIM JR.? OOH...

IF YOU MARRY THIS WOMAN, I AM GONNA CUT OFF YOUR HEAD

AND THROW IT IN A DITCH.

BURN IT IN A DITCH, BUT GO AHEAD.

ANDY, SHE JUST ASKED HER EX-HUSBAND

TO TAKE HER BACK RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!

I THINK, IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP,

YOU NEED TO PICK YOUR BATTLES.

LOOK AT ME. YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE. YOU'RE SICK.

YOU'VE GOT DEVLIN-ITIS!

WOW, SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE DOESN'T WANT TO BE MATRON OF HONOR.

DANA, HOW ABOUT YOU? CAN YOU BE THIN BY THURSDAY?

CINDY, HONEY, I REALLY THINK

MAYBE YOU NEED TO BE ALONE FOR A LITTLE WHILE. HUH?

HEY, IS THAT TIM COMING BACK?

OH, HOMER TIM-SON, YOU CAME BACK!

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

I WAS TESTING YOU.

OH, I DIDN'T GET THAT! OH, DO IT AGAIN.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO.

REALLY? ARE YOU SURE YOU WOULDN'T RATHER...

(imitates squeaking noise)

I SUPPOSE I GOT TEN MINUTES.

(all) ANDY!

I MEAN, NO, NO.

(sighs) GOOD-BYE, CINDY.

SUDDENLY I'M... ALL ALONE.

WILL I EVER FIND LOVE...

OH, A PUPPY!

I'M GONNA CUT OFF YOUR TAGS AND TAKE YOU HOME!

YOU OKAY?

YEAH, YEAH. I GUESS I WAS IN OVER MY HEAD.

IT'S JUST NICE HAVING SOMEONE AROUND.

(Jim) SOMEONE AROUND?

YOU MEAN AN ANNOYING LUNATIC WHO'S TRYING TO STEAL YOUR SOUL?

YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH.

I MEAN, HAVING SOMEONE AROUND THIS GENERAL AREA.

WE WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY,

BUT YOU GOTTA FIND SOMEONE WHO LETS YOU BE YOU.

YEAH, THERE'S A SPECIAL GIRL OUT THERE FOR YOU,

PROBABLY IN RUSSIA, SCRUBBING FLOORS.

THANKS, GUYS. YOU'RE THE BEST.

AW... WELL, LET'S GO BACK TO BEING THAT GUY THAT YOU WERE, HUH?

FORGET THE DEVLINS. YOU'RE DONE WITH THE DEVLINS.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

YEAH! ANDY-HAM LINCOLN DOESN'T WEAR THESE ANYMORE.

(gasps)

I, UH... I'M NOT WEARING MY SPEEDO, AM I?

NO.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

SHE DID DO A GOOD JOB ON THAT WAXING.

OH.