Original subtitles

Yeah? Hey, Emma, I was just, uh, kind of needed to talk to you for a minute.

I'm busy.

Uh, it's just, it's not gonna take too long. Can you, can you put some, put

pants on?

No, I'm trying to take photos for Instagram, for, um, Twitter.

Didn't I tell you you shouldn't even post stuff like that on Twitter?

Yeah, but it gets me views.

Yeah, but it's not that...

Doesn't mean you should take pictures, you know.

Yeah, but I'm 18, remember? You guys said I could do whatever I wanted.

Yeah, but within, like, reason, you know?

Yeah, but what's wrong with it?

Okay, we'll talk about the Twitter pictures later.

I know your mom, like, talked to you about...

You know, having people over.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's kind of rude.

She was being a bitch to me about that. I was like... Well, the way she said it

was like you were being rude.

No, uh -uh. She was just being unreasonable.

Yeah, but Emma, you had like three guys over in the past week.

Oh, my boyfriends?

It's kind of like not okay.

Well, yeah, but I'm 18.

Yeah, I understand that, but I'm... It's just not... You're supposed to...

You're allowed to have friends over, not boyfriends that you're having sex with.

Yeah, but I'm 18. I can... You guys said I could. I could have

friends over.

We didn't say you could have multiple...

guys over and having sex with them every other night.

You really can't put some shorts on, please?

No, I'm in my room.

Okay, just, I'm just trying to be, I just try, you know, I try to be like a

really, the best stepdad I can be.

You are a really nice stepdad.

Thank you. I try to be nice to you, I just, it's,

Like,

you know, like, I just, I'm trying to, your mom was upset how you talked to

okay? And there's still some rules just because you're 18. I mean, you live

here, so you can't.

I just, I'm trying to find some kind of compromise, okay? Because you can't.

Yeah, but you guys, you guys sleep with each other every night. You guys have

sex every night.

So why can't I?

Well, that's not, that's not true.

Okay. Or whatever.

What? That's not true.

Listen, Emma, just... I'm your dad, okay? Can you just answer some questions

me? I can tell Mom.

That make her feel better or something. You're having safe sex, right?

Yeah.

Okay, so they're wearing... So they wear condoms.

Well, no. I don't like condoms.

They feel weird.

Not the same.

Okay, well that's not safe sex then, is it?

Yeah.

No, because you could... Emma, do you... Do you not... Do you have sex with you

and not wearing condoms?

Yeah.

The condoms make it feel weird. It's just... It feels better.

Okay, but just because it doesn't feel as good doesn't mean that you can just

it.

Well, why not?

Because you could catch something or get pregnant.

Where, when they, you know, like, these guys, like, finish, like, do they, you

know, when they, like, ejaculate, um, they don't, they don't do that inside of

you, right?

Oh, you mean cream pie?

Because, yeah, I like those.

Emma, that's, you, you, what have you got written in?

Are you, are you, like, taking the pill?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I like those.

Like a contraceptive.

I don't know.

Emma, I'm your dad now. You have my responsibility. You have to start being

responsible for yourself.

Well, I am.

No, getting creeped out by like multiple different guys is not being

responsible.

Yeah, but back on to the other subject.

You don't have sex every night?

Sex is not that... That's crazy. That's not normal.

I've had sex... Mom's crazy. Okay, before.

Wait to see.

So have you guys had sex?

Yeah.

Well, not... Look, I married your mom like a year ago, right?

And we have a really healthy relationship. You know, we kiss and,

you know, we cuddle sometimes. But we don't, you know, we don't have sex.

We haven't started having sex yet.

What?

That's not...

She's crazy. I told you, Dad.

Well, it's just because we were waiting to... She wanted to take things slow in

this relationship.

Slow? The whole year?

Well, we were going to do it on the honeymoon, but then we got too busy with

stuff, so we didn't get to go on a honeymoon.

You're probably losing your mind right now.

Well, it's not ideal, but she just isn't ready yet, and I'm...

That's okay. You know, I'm just trying to be a good stepdad and take care of

and you and I don't need to have sex yet.

You know, I'm sure we'll start having sex sometime soon.

That's a long time though.

Oh my goodness.

That's crazy.

She's crazy.

Mom's crazy. I told you that though.

Your mom's... I mean, you know, I...

I just, it's not that big of a deal. You know, once a week, I take care of it in

the shower, and it's fine.

I don't have to be having sex every day.

That's not normal.

It's fine.

Well, I mean, I see you, the emperor, and now you're a little hard.

Well,

that just happens, okay? It's not a big deal.

What? It's not a big deal? How do you take care of it?

i told you i just i just took off like in the shower once a week once a week

though that's that's not enough it's fine well it's not the best thing but

fine i'm saying like you don't have to you don't have to damn it damn that's

good you can't just be having sex let me see it

it's so big

Let's put that away, okay?

No.

Don't, Emma, don't touch me. You can't leave me.

Don't, okay.

Can I look at it?

No, you can't. It's too late.

It's so nice.

Mom's missing out.

You think it's nice?

Yeah.

But just because we're horny doesn't mean we have to... It's a good idea.

is a really bad idea. Yeah, but maybe you were looking for a compromise.

So you're horny, so no boy come over today.

That actually kind of makes sense.

So I can, you know, help you out. Because you're horny all the time,

Yeah.

And then your mom isn't going to get mad that you're having guys over.

Mm -mm.

And I want to get you up in the shower.

That's actually a really smart idea.

Actually.

Okay, I'll be right back.

I like it.

Thanks.

It doesn't make me look like a bad dad.

It makes you a good dad.

Are you sure?

We don't need one.

Yeah, I guess it's... It'll be fine, right? It'll be fine. Mm -hmm.

I don't like them anyways.

I'll put it inside you if I come.

She's crazy.

come with me doggie okay

oh

oh oh

oh

baby you're putting this really nice

Yeah, I think that's a good idea

Holy shit.

Oh, my God.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, definitely don't tell my mom about this.

Okay.

Okay, I can just... I can just help you out from now on, right?