Original subtitles

Oh, wonderful.

Wonderful.

Oh, yes. I dream of girls like you. Okay. Oh, that's nice.

Magnificent.

Oh, that's good. That's good. Oh, that's nice.

Very good. Very good. That's nice.

That's beautiful.

Oh, la, la.

Okay. I was there. It's like that. Okay.

Okay, now. That girl's a porn.

Goddamn porn.

Yeah, she's the best I have.

Oh,

I love you, I love you. Oh, I love

you, I love you.

Roger, Roger.

Tony, down.

I adore you.

Roger.

Don't bite.

But I want to gobble you up.

Roger?

Why don't you turn that door off?

Roger!

You are perfect.

I love you, my Cherie.

I'll act with you again.

Marry me.

Roger, I am too young to make that commitment to you or to anyone.

I'm going to kill you all over.

I only wish you loved me the way I love you.

I get excited every time I take your picture.

I want to kiss your toes.

I want to kiss your leg.

Your waist.

Beautiful dress.

Your lips.

There.

Your pussy.

Eat me.

Oh, lick my pussy.

Oh, lick my pussy.

Ooh.

That hits right in my lip.

Oh, yeah.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Fickle my clit.

Oh, yeah.

Just flick your tongue on my clitoris.

Yeah.

Ooh. Oh, yeah.

You're going to make me cry.

Oh.

Oh, look, there's juice.

I want you to drink some.

Oh, yeah.

Swallow.

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Ooh.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God,

it's coming.

Oh, God.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, oh shit the door Yeah

Could you give the man a dollar?

Thank you.

What is it?

What is it, my darling?

Let me preface my words by telling you that both I, myself, and the entire

of Wesley, Wesley, and Corrigan extend our sympathies to you in the aftermath

this tragic event. We were all very fond of your grandfather.

As you know, his fortune was not insubstantial. His cash holdings, both

and international, amount to over $15 million.

Added to that, real estate, factories, and equipment total several million

You have been named as the sole heiress to his estate.

There is, however, one condition which I think I should bring to your attention.

Your grandfather was concerned for your protection after his death.

He wanted to make sure that you were not alone against the world.

He therefore stipulated, as a condition of the will, that you wed.

I can take care of myself, Mr. Westhead.

I'm sure you can, my dear.

However, you will not receive one penny of the estate until you are committed to

a state of legal matrimony. Otherwise, the entire estate will be transferred to

various charities.

Your grandfather has generously provided you with one month with which to find

yourself a husband.

I know he meant a lot to you.

My grandfather was the only one who ever cared.

You know we love you here.

You don't have to work today.

I will.

I won't be in this business much longer.

What?

I'm getting married.

Not to that phony Frenchman, of course not. Then who?

I don't know.

But I have 30 days to find him. And then I'll never have to lay down in front of

a camera for the rest of my life.

It's Mary who'll butt my ass in this lousy business until the eighth butt's

in.

Who's next?

Sit down.

Tell me, Mr... Mr... Merida.

Mr. Meredith, why do you want to become my husband?

My family is one of the wealthiest in the nation.

We own several petroleum refineries, a string of leather factories. Your

would be stabilized by the addition of my own. I see.

And I'm also very good in bed.

Ned!

You understand my position. I'm obligated to take a husband.

What do you have to offer?

Thank you.

Next.

You're aware that this would be strictly a business relationship.

Oh, that would be just dandy. I want a man who's completely uninterested in sex

with me.

Believe me, I'm the man.

Separate bedrooms?

We'd really see each other quite infrequently.

Fine. Hmm.

I'd like to do this as soon as possible.

Terrific. Can you meet with my rabbi in the morning?

Pardon me?

About the conversion.

Roger, what are you doing?

I told you that I would throw my cap into the ring.

Eat your cap.

Yeah. Yeah.

Jesus,

you're pretty good for an older woman.

Ow!

Hey Danny, I forgot how sensitive the little lady is.

Better be easy down there, or she'll bite your nose off.

I'll tell you after this, I'm through with teenagers.

Yeah, me too.

What's the deal?

What?

What?

Now let's try it this way. Come on.

I can't move.

Oh my

goodness.

Good I'm so much

Yeah, what's the matter?

Hey, I'm sorry that I insulted you about being old. I mean, you're not that old

anyway. It's not that.

Well, tell us.

Babe.

We're gonna lose her unless I can find some way to prevent her from getting

married.

That dead grandfather of hers and his multinational corporations.

Imagine him trying to marry her off to a perfect stranger.

Well, I'll marry her. Hey, so will I.

Oh, no, you don't. You're both mine.

Take it easy. I mean, somebody's got to do it.

Yeah, I know.

And when they do, she's through with us.

I mean, why should she have to work modeling when she can earn a fortune on

interest alone?

I'm so sorry to disturb you at home, but an urgent business matter has come up.

I see that your company has been having problems.

I want to help McClellan Rubbers financially.

Yes, I thought you would be interested.

I have a young lady with quite a sizable sum at her disposal.

This would be a rather unorthodox investment.

However, my client will salvage your company in return for your hand in

marriage.

Mr. LeVue, I'm so thrilled you could make it here on such short notice.

Your ideas for fast food smoked clam pies sounded magnificent.

They are delicious pies.

Yes, I'm certain they are. And my client, in exchange for your hand in

will market those pies from Seattle to the caucus.

You know a good product.

Yes. Now let's arrange a meeting right away and set a date for the marriage,

let's say...

For a week from today.

No. No, no.

This is pie -baking season.

I bake till October.

We'll marry then.

But my client is married immediately.

I am sorry, but the pies are first. Always first.

Though, I should love to take you up on such a marvelous offer.

The pies, they... I know. They come first.

Ever heard of roulade tampon?

I invented toxic shock.

All you're doing?

Yep. I can make anybody broke.

For the right price, of course.

Fifteen mil.

No problem.

When's the date?

The 14th. Great.

You've got yourself a deal and a bribe.

It's gone.

We're in business.

Or, shall I say, out of business.

You're just a young...

Women to my priest in the morning.

Priest?

About the conversion.

Conversion?

Forget it.

Another?

No, I better not. How much do I owe you?

$23 .50.

My birth!

It was here just a moment ago.

Oh, damn it!

No, Mr. Wesley.

Not yet.

I know only a few days left.

Finding someone isn't as easy as it sounds.

Good day.

For we, faithful to our queen, bear its standards from field to shore. This

country, my dear man, is honored less in history than in the hearts of... Lo,

talk to the Senate.

Is it thus the rousing charge that brings me to the battle round?

Look, the hound that chaseth begs my cozening.

Well, take your fittest standings and once more, line well your twigs to catch

this wary beast.

I'll leave you.

And at your dag's discharge, make towards, like the longing water dog that

coucheth till the fowling peats be off, then seetheth on the prey with eager

mood.

All right, kids, I think you've got your bits down.

Aye, that we do it, Freddy boy, I warrant thee.

Yeah.

Yeah. You mean we can finally go?

For it will be very late ere we get home.

Ah, Sarah, stick around. Let's practice the act four speech one more time. Give

the girl a break, Chad.

I know that you would rehearse all night, but this ain't the royal

I'm going anyway.

Fourth act of speech?

Come on, let's go.

I'd still think Marlowe was the master of Shakespeare any day.

Make love to me.

No one can even touch a depiction of evil. Let me try.

Sarah? Yes, darling?

Do you think we're neglecting the Greeks?

Yes.

Be resolute, mistress mine. Now, farewell, and see you confess nothing in

case.

Hello. Who are you?

My name's Dory, but don't let me disturb you. Continue.

You're really quite good, you know. How much did you hear?

I caught your last speech and the tail end of the love scene.

Gee, I thought Sarah and I were... Oh, Christ. Don't worry about it.

You really love the theater, don't you?

My mistress Dory, it is indeed true love which I feel, greater than any which

ruleth the world.

Why, Chad Collins, you two -timing son of a bitch!

Aren't you going to go after her?

No, women.

They take up so much time.

Not all women do.

Some women would give you all the freedom you want.

I'd like to meet that kind.

You would?

Times must be tough.

Financially, I mean.

Yeah.

No one wants to watch the classics anymore. Not even on television.

What I could do with a little nest egg.

You'd like to produce?

Would I?

I bet you'd mount a big, big production.

Shakespeare on Broadway.

Cornier. Racine.

Aeschylus. Sheridan.

Ben Johnson.

Joseph Papp. Move over. I'd mount the biggest, most lavish productions America

has ever seen.

No. The world!

You would.

By Jove, indeed.

You'd spend no expense, let's say, on a production of Sophocles.

Nothing could give me greater pleasure.

And to you, Barbara and Consuelo, take this man, Charles A. Recolum, to be your

lawfully wedded husband, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, to

death do you part.

I do.

I now pronounce you...

Man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Remember, this is strictly a business relationship.

Congratulations, my dear.

Beautiful ceremony.

Yes, Mia. It's never going to last.

So am I now.

All yours.

Congratulations. You are now a very wealthy woman.

You did it, kid.

You're hitched.

Good luck.

Don't be so glum, Freddy boy. We're on our way to the top. Just think, the

biggest, most opulent top of Cleve ever.

My dear, I have a feeling that marriage will be the best thing that ever

happened to you. You do?

Well, thanks.

I hope I'll be seeing you from time to time. I hope so, too. And who knows, you

might even come back to work.

There'll always be a place for you at the agency.

Oedipus Rex.

A rock nudie musical.

Chad, darling.

Isn't it wonderful? I still don't believe it. Broadway, after all these

Good luck.

He's a very lucky man.

Jack, don't. I don't even know what you're doing here.

I loved you once.

Do you love Chad?

Where have you been?

Babe, your grandfather would have been very proud of you.

Chad, don't you think you'd be selling out?

My ideals shall remain firm.

Chad's certainly got some grand ambitions, hasn't he? Yeah, sometimes I

bit too grand.

Well, the bigger the better.

Confidentially, Babe is the richest woman in North America.

This is the way I see it. We fly in Brando to play Creon.

And maybe Jane Fonda for Jocasta.

Well, what about me?

Of course, darling.

You can do better than that, can't you?

I'm not going to let you go away so easily.

I want you.

Well?

Well, hell, you only get married once.

Don't forget, I can really act.

Deep.

Deep.

Yeah, that's it.

Nice. Nice and slow.

Get away. Get away.

Oh, yeah.

That's it.

Woo. Woo.

Oh, yes.

Oh, Jack.

Oh, Jack.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

Oh,

dear. Oh, dear.

Oh, Jesus.

Thank you.

Oh, don't come inside me.

Let me see it.

Oh, Jack.

Oh, Jack.

Oh, Jack.

Rilla. Rilla.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Where could babies of miserable fortunes be hiding?

For Christ's sake, Roger, will you leave them alone? It's their wedding night.

Oh, excuse me.

Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't looking.

Those are probably wondering what happened to us.

Look, everybody.

The bride and groom have returned.

Smile for the camera.

Show the derrière.

That's not nice. That's disgusting.

Forget it.

It will not work.

Mike, can you do something for her? Touch her up or something.

I'm a makeup man, not Da Vinci.

Look sexy.

Smile.

That's sexy.

Why? I put the... Okay, I put the hand on the back of the head.

The hand behind the back.

And the head on the back of the... Now,

suck on the cheeks.

I think I'm stuck.

Stuck?

I must... have babe back. I can network with the others.

They are no good. They are how you say, shit!

Thank you, dearie. Your check is in the mail.

Yeah.

Thank you.

A move or something?

We're at your service, madam.

Yeah, yeah.

For God's sake, sit down. You're making me nervous.

No. Well, just this time. But don't do it again until I finish my last.

Yes, madam.

And my name is Bate. Yes, madam.

Ask me how I like being married.

No, don't.

Either one of you guys ever hear about housewives syndrome?

No, madam. No, madam.

Well, I've got it. Yes, madam.

Shut up!

Both of you, don't talk till I tell you to talk.

Now.

At least you're learning spots.

Now stand over there and jack off for me.

Yes, ma 'am.

Look at those nice

big cops rising in the air.

Oh.

Oh.

Beat that meat.

Slowly.

Now...

spit on your hands and put it on your cock and beat it.

Stroke it up and down.

Wouldn't you just love to stick those cocks inside my pussy?

Inside my wet pussy?

Yes, ma 'am. Well, you can't.

So just keep beating your meat.

Keep it up. Yeah, like that.

Stroke the fuse.

Yeah.

Yeah, I want to see you come all over yourself.

Hurry up and come. I want you to hurry up and come all over yourself.

Beat it. Beat it harder.

Stroke it.

Stroke it. I want to see you come. I want to see you come all over your body.

Rub it on your chest. Take your fingers and rub it through your chest.

The wife, life, luxury.

Wow.

I don't care how much they cost. I want real Trojans.

No, you don't find them in a drugstore, you idiot.

Find out if the shepherd knows his lines, will you?

This way, fellas.

Easy with that.

Hurry up with those props.

Tell you what, take the rock downstage and take the head upstage.

And I don't know. We'll just go from there.

Try it again, honey.

You will come?

But, Oedipus, I think I'm worthy to... Come, honey.

Come.

I couldn't get it right at home. I couldn't get it right here. I can never

it right.

Where are my phalluses, Monty? They should have been here yesterday.

Watch out for the sheep shit.

Somebody get me some paper towels!

What's so funny?

The biggest production in the history of Broadway theater.

Five million already spent. Another eight million slated.

The new Oedipus must run 12 years to capacity crowds to recoup its initial

Producer leading man Chad Collins says after his Oedipus is completed, he

plans on putting together similar complex productions of Ben Johnson's

and Norton and Sackville's Gorbodook. What?

Insiders predict the biggest.

bomb since Hiroshima.

Well, Babe will be able to enjoy her fortune for a little

while.

Good morning, Babe. Sleep well?

Coffee?

married life agrees with me. I feel great.

How's your play doing?

Producing isn't easy.

It's not just a cocktail of tharties and a night on the town.

It's a real challenge.

Making phone calls, moving people here, there, meetings.

You should have spent an awful lot of time with that silly play.

Silly? Yeah, silly.

You could spend at least one night at home if for no other reason appearance

fake. Huh.

You certainly don't seem to miss me.

You've had a slew of call boys in and out of here the last two weeks that

satisfy the entire female population of Indianapolis.

You're right.

I don't miss you. I don't miss you one little bit.

Who is it?

Yeah? You called?

Oh, come in.

Nice place.

Real nice.

So are you.

Have a seat.

So, uh, would you like to watch some TV?

Did you ever do this before?

I don't usually make a habit of it, no.

Oh, good.

I just love to have a virgin.

Well, you've got one.

Oh, I'm pretty fluffy.

That's right.

Lovely.

How long have we worked together?

Six, seven, eight years maybe?

Am I right or wrong?

Say six.

What's happening?

What's going on?

Your agency used to be pissed.

Ron, be patient.

With the board of directors spitting fire down my neck, you want me to be

patient? Jesus H. Christ, I can't afford to be patient.

I've got to find someone else to handle these fights.

Please, Ron, wait till next Tuesday.

Next Tuesday, is it?

What then? The goddamn apocalypse?

Almost. The opening of Oedipus.

Well, so what?

Wait till next Tuesday.

Oh, no.

You smile and I respond.

We kiss, the past is gone.

Love was born today.

And if there is no past, there can be no questions asked.

You're the only one I know.

And so, let me give you all a

star.

A yesterday My

And the time will turn.

Together we will learn that there might come a day

when we reach the end. Smile, the past

is gone again.

Love is born that day.

Let me give you four stars.

a yesterday.

My

Have you seen Chad?

He's in the dressing room upstairs.

But I wouldn't go in there.

Oh, yeah.

Five minutes, Mr. Collins.

Get out of here.

Yeah?

Chad?

Babe.

You know something?

I finally figured it out.

I love you.

Babe.

Good luck, my darling.

You are versed in all things.

While you have no eyes, in your mind you see our city as afflicted.

We are in your hands.

Alas, how terrible is wisdom when it brings no profit to the man this wise.

What is this?

How sad you are now.

For God's sake, if you know of anything, do not turn away from us.

All of us kneel to you.

I say that with those you love best, You live in foulest shame

unconsciously and do not see where you are in calamity.

have a deadly fear that the old seer had eyes.

Oh, Oedipus.

Unhappy Oedipus.

That is all I can call you.

And all I shall ever call you.

This is a terrible sight for men to see.

I've never seen a worse.

Poor wretch.

What madness has come over you?

What evil... Hey, men of things.

Behold this Oedipus.

Who knew the famous riddle and was noblest? Who envied no man's fortune or

success? And lo, in what a pit of direst woe he now is

plunged. From hence the lesson drawn.

How no man happy till he see the closing day.

Until he pass the board which severs life from death.

Dangerous time. Dangerous time.

Dangerous time.

It's true.

Believe it.

What can newspaper men do anyway? Type with two fingers? I couldn't eat a

Yeah, neither could I.

Is it hot in here? Is it just me?

It's you.

Reviews are in. Guess what?

Guess what?

Well, what do you expect from Clive Barnes anyway?

Here, read it yourselves.

My God, it's a fucking hit!

Way to go!

Film rights sought for $35 million.

Chad Collins' Oedipus is the greatest adaptation in the history of the

film.

Ugh.

Deeper and deeper.

God only knows where it goes.

Deep, so deep.

You keep the love that flows from me.

Ah, but does it touch the heart?

that makes the heart within you sing.

Oh.

Babe, I have to know, please, be honest with me, do you mind? Why?

My success, my career, it's going to take a lot of work and a lot of time.

Darling, I think that's wonderful.

I'm so proud of you.

Jan, I want to go back to work too.

Why, honey, that's fine.

I can see it now, you playing Ophelia to my Hamlet.

We'll be the greatest stage couple since Munt and Fontaine.

No, Chad.

I'm not an actress. I'm a model.

And I want to go back.

Then do it.

Lorraine will give you your checks on the way out.

I want to tell you all I'm going to miss you. It was wonderful working with you.

Hey, what's the story?

The story is we're out of business.

I did not even want to. To have to.

Now I must go back to sea as a robot to photograph those itty bitty bats.

Shit. What are you going to do, Dory?

I don't know what I'll do.

I'll miss the agency. It was my life.

Now get out of here, all of you. Scram before I start crying.

Bye, Dory.

So long.

Good luck.

Moi!

Babe, what are you doing here?

Well, it sure isn't a social call. I'm here to work.

But you're a rich woman.

And can't a rich woman work, too? You mean it?

Dory, what's with you?

Roger!

Mikey!

Daddy! Bob, get your asses in here. We've got work to do.

Beautiful. That's nice.

Nice. Very good.

Oh, love it.

Oh, I dream about you. Oh, la,

la, beautiful.

Oh, good.

Look sexy, sexy.

Okay, nice, nice, nice. Here, good. Smile, good. Just like that. Move the

bodies, okay.

Good.

Nasty, look nasty.

That is it, babe. Perfect.

You smile and I respond.

We kiss as fast as God.

Love was born.

today.

And if there is no path, there can be no question that

you're the only one I know.

And so let me give you for a

start a yesterday.

My

When the time will turn, together we will learn, that there might

come a day, when we reach the end, we

smile past this dark end, once more that day.