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1
00:00:05,070 --> 00:00:06,840
- Hey, give me all of his--
- 'Hey, hey, hey!'
2
00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:08,740
You gotta help me out here,
the guy in cell G
3
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:09,740
he's tryin' to hang himself.
4
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:10,910
Come on! Hurry!
5
00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:13,680
- Come on!
- 'Don't do it! Don't do it!'
6
00:00:13,740 --> 00:00:16,750
Sir, do not hang yourself!
7
00:00:16,810 --> 00:00:18,450
Oh, baby, I'm already hung.
8
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,090
- Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday!
9
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,020
Oh, my God!
10
00:00:31,630 --> 00:00:32,690
- Whoo!
- 'Hold it!'
11
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:37,870
- What...
- No, no... Oh!
12
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,400
'Whoa!'
13
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:45,570
(Travis)
Go, go, go!
14
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,530
- Hey, what...
- Ho! Ho! Ho!
15
00:01:14,570 --> 00:01:16,070
(Dangle)
'This is pretty exciting.'
16
00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:19,770
Did everybody read the memo
about our beautiful sister city?
17
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:20,910
- 'No?'
- 'No.'
18
00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:23,410
Our sister city of Wanganui,
New Zealand?
19
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,050
No, I think I heard this one,
but go ahead and tell it.
20
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,450
'It's not a joke.'
21
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:29,450
Oh.
22
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,990
The prefect of Wanganui--
23
00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:35,460
- What's a prefect?
- Like a mayor.
24
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,690
'Uh, of Wanganui,
will be coming to visit'
25
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,600
our fair city and, uh,
meeting with the mayor, I guess
26
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:43,770
and a couple of us will
need to escort him around town.
27
00:01:43,830 --> 00:01:45,430
- I want to go.
- 'I already picked. It's okay.'
28
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:46,800
'Who'd you pick?'
29
00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:50,040
Hmm, the people that
need to know will know.
30
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,270
- 'Oh.'
- Let me guess. You're going.
31
00:01:54,310 --> 00:01:57,180
Yes. Uh, I was gonna go
do it with Kimball.
32
00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,290
You assume just because
he's a colored fella
33
00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:06,090
we're gonna say something
offensive or something?
34
00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:08,060
How do you know he's colored?
35
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,330
Wanganui...
I'm guessin' he ain't Chinese.
36
00:02:10,390 --> 00:02:11,830
- But it's New Zealand.
- 'That's colored.'
37
00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:12,990
I thought they were
white there.
38
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:14,430
- Can I give an English lecture?
- Colors, colors.
39
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:16,330
Can I give an
English lesson now?
40
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,430
Um, we don't say colored
anymore, by the way.
41
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,600
National Advancement for the
Association of Colored People.
42
00:02:21,670 --> 00:02:24,970
But we don't, we don't say
crackers, right, anymore?
43
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,440
- You say crackers all the time!
- 'Or, hon-honkies.'
44
00:02:27,510 --> 00:02:29,510
No, I don't, I don't say...
I write it in my report.
45
00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:30,680
I don't say it.
46
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:32,180
First thing,
"Good morning, cracker."
47
00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:34,250
'That's the very first thing
you said to me this morning.'
48
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,250
'All the time.'
49
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,650
I'd like to commend Trudy.
50
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,550
Trudy, would you pass up
your notes for a second here?
51
00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:40,720
- Sure.
- I'd like to take a moment.
52
00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:42,190
I don't do this very often.
53
00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:43,760
I don't single any of you out
54
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,490
'and, uh, commend you
on a job well done'
55
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,960
'but I'd like to commend Trudy
because all the time'
56
00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:51,030
that I've been up here talking
57
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:54,300
Trudy has drawn several things.
58
00:02:54,370 --> 00:02:57,240
Turtle lady, uh, here.
59
00:02:57,310 --> 00:03:01,340
And then lobster crab man
with double penis.
60
00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:04,610
And then, uh, monster-mouth baby
61
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,780
with teats and sideways vagina.
62
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,430
Ma'am, would you mind
turning down the music?
63
00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:27,040
- 'Hi.'
- How you doin'?
64
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:29,000
(female #1)
'Okay. How are you?'
65
00:03:29,070 --> 00:03:31,870
Ma'am, I suspect that if I were
to search this here vehicle
66
00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:33,580
I might find me
a little marijuana.
67
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,880
- 'Oh, no.'
- No, no way.
68
00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:40,110
No, uh, no marijuana?
No, uh, paraphernalia?
69
00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:43,950
- No, uh, no bongs? No scales?
- 'No.'
70
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:45,750
- Nothing at all?
- 'Definitely not.'
71
00:03:45,820 --> 00:03:47,920
You're telling me this van
is totally clean
72
00:03:47,990 --> 00:03:49,090
of all illicit substances?
73
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,560
'Totally illicit.'
74
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:52,260
So you didn't mind
if I were to come in
75
00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:53,830
and maybe poke around
your glove box?
76
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,530
'That would be great.'
77
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,770
See, I noticed all your, uh,
stickers out there
78
00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:00,540
with the "Legalize it,"
and you got--
79
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,270
'Oh, yeah.
This is my neighbor's car.'
80
00:04:03,340 --> 00:04:04,910
- 'Neighbor's car, you got?'
- 'Yeah.'
81
00:04:04,970 --> 00:04:07,940
'I'm gonna check
underneath your dash here.'
82
00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:10,010
(female #1)
'We're headed out
to a sit-in up north'
83
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,750
'for this tree
that's gonna die.'
84
00:04:11,810 --> 00:04:13,620
(Travis)
'Yeah, a sit-in you got.'
85
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:14,820
You don't mind
if were to check
86
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:15,850
underneath the vehicle,
would you?
87
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:16,920
(female #1)
'No, that'd be great.'
88
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,650
- Yeah, it'd be great.
- 'Groovy.
89
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,820
You see...
90
00:04:20,890 --> 00:04:23,860
...us, uh, police officers
ain't quite as dumb
91
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,360
as you hippies think we are.
92
00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:29,330
Sometimes, what they do is
they strap keys of marijuana
93
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,870
underneath the vehicle
'cause they think
94
00:04:30,930 --> 00:04:32,530
we ain't gonna
search there, but...
95
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,900
[bleep] damn.
96
00:04:33,970 --> 00:04:37,340
Well, now,
you, uh, appear to be clean.
97
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:40,310
You just, uh, try and mind
the speed limits, alright?
98
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:41,410
(female #1)
'I'll try.'
99
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:42,780
'Have a groovy day.'
100
00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:45,950
[indistinct
police radio chatter]
101
00:04:48,350 --> 00:04:50,590
- You have a good day now.
- 'Thanks, officer.'
102
00:04:57,890 --> 00:05:00,090
I wish we had had time
to look up a little bit
103
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,160
of the Wanganui language.
104
00:05:04,330 --> 00:05:05,300
I do too.
105
00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:06,670
Well, I did have time,
to be honest
106
00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:07,700
last night, but I ended up--
107
00:05:07,770 --> 00:05:08,770
But you just didn't.
108
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:10,840
No, I curled up in front
of "The OC..."
109
00:05:12,470 --> 00:05:16,410
And I had a big pint
of Chubby Hubby, and then...
110
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,680
...my over, uh, my morbidly
obese friend, Margaret, called
111
00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:21,320
and she got talkin'
and she was cryin'
112
00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:24,490
she was all upset because
they're mad at her-at her job.
113
00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:27,820
Anyway, long story short,
I didn't learn any Wanganui.
114
00:05:27,890 --> 00:05:29,960
(woman on PA)
'The white zone
is for immediate loading'
115
00:05:30,020 --> 00:05:31,460
'and unloading of passengers...'
116
00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:33,930
You know, I don't know if he's
gonna be able to read this sign.
117
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,960
So I hope we can recognize him
118
00:05:37,030 --> 00:05:39,000
'cause I don't think he even
speaks a word of English.
119
00:05:39,070 --> 00:05:40,000
- Wait a second.
- Oh, hello.
120
00:05:40,070 --> 00:05:41,870
- Hello.
- Oh.
121
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:44,510
- Wow.
- Your Excellency!
122
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:46,840
Hail, prefect of Wanganui.
123
00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:51,210
Welcome to Reno.
124
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,250
Biggest little city...
125
00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:56,420
- Oh. He is--
- Oh. New people, new customs...
126
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,650
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
127
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,260
Welcome...to Reno.
128
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,360
Jewel of the Silver State,
sister...
129
00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:04,690
- That is just...
- City...
130
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,530
- Can you believe that?
- 'He's kissin' the ground.'
131
00:06:06,590 --> 00:06:08,630
Reno/Tahoe International Airport
132
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:11,930
is honored that you would
kiss its concrete, and we...
133
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,540
- Our concrete is not worth--
- We...go down?
134
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,440
- We go down. We go down.
- I think we're supposed to.
135
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:17,810
- Okay.
- Your Excellency.
136
00:06:17,870 --> 00:06:20,410
Welcome to Reno,
sister city of Wanganui.
137
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,110
Jewel of the Silver State.
138
00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:24,010
- We... Oh, my goodness!
- Oh! Hello!
139
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,880
- 'Hello. It's a ritual.'
- 'Oh, my goodness.'
140
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:26,910
(Dangle)
'It's okay. It's a ritual.'
141
00:06:26,980 --> 00:06:28,120
'Different people,
different ways.'
142
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,650
'We shall hasten you
to the mayor's office.'
143
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,420
The mayor is our...
144
00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:33,760
(woman on PA)
'For immediate loading...'
145
00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:35,360
...numero uno chieftain.
146
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,330
Your Excellency?
147
00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:39,890
Visiting dignitary.
148
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,630
- Prefect of Wanganui.
- That's the smell.
149
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:45,730
This is the way
to our carriage.
150
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,140
Oh, I know what'll get him in.
151
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,470
- Hey, look at that.
- 'That's right.'
152
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,870
- 'Oh, good. He likes that.'
- Look at that.
153
00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:53,570
He likes that. He's taking
the bait. Good, good, good.
154
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:54,580
- Here we go.
- 'Okay.'
155
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:55,810
And he's in. Got him.
156
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,180
- 'Oh, I got him!'
- Got him! Got him.
157
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,210
Get the foot!
Get the foot! Get the foot!
158
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:00,650
Oh!
159
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,620
You are a powerful, powerful man
with a powerful smell.
160
00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:06,120
(Kimball)
'Oh, dear.'
161
00:07:06,190 --> 00:07:08,190
(woman on PA)
'The white zone is
for immediate loading'
162
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:10,590
'and unloading
of passengers only.'
163
00:07:10,660 --> 00:07:12,390
'There is no parking
in the white zone.'
164
00:07:20,170 --> 00:07:22,270
(Travis)
'We've been assigned
to come on down to'
165
00:07:22,340 --> 00:07:25,110
'one of the local high schools
for, uh, their career day.'
166
00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:27,680
So what we're gonna do is,
we have to get
167
00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:29,580
twenty five signatures
by the end of the day
168
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:30,750
or we don't get paid.
169
00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:32,580
- It should be easy.
- Yeah.
170
00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:34,450
Plus, we're giving away
free magic sponges.
171
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:35,820
You put 'em in water
and they grow
172
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,820
and they become a sponge
that says
173
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,090
help us clean up Reno.
174
00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:40,150
- Yeah.
- It's just for fun.
175
00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:41,760
It's just for later,
they remember--
176
00:07:41,820 --> 00:07:43,890
Yeah, they're at home, washing
their hands and they think
177
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,360
"Oh, yeah, I signed up
for the police academy."
178
00:07:46,430 --> 00:07:49,260
Today's army will give you
179
00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:51,530
more of an opportunity
and prepare you more for life
180
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,100
than anything else you can do.
181
00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:55,270
You can go to faraway
exotic places
182
00:07:55,340 --> 00:07:56,600
meet interesting people...
183
00:07:58,210 --> 00:07:59,370
...and force
the American will on 'em.
184
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,840
Democracy, liberty, justice.
185
00:08:01,910 --> 00:08:03,680
Does that sound like something
you guys would want to do?
186
00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:05,680
- Yeah!
- Give me a hoo-ha!
187
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:06,680
(all)
Hoo-ha!
188
00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:07,720
Alright!
189
00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:09,180
Sign up for
Sheriff's Department.
190
00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:13,860
Free sponges!
191
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,690
Magic sponges.
192
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,090
One sponge per customer.
193
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,960
Hey, guys, welcome to the
Peace Corps table. I'm Catalina.
194
00:08:22,030 --> 00:08:23,500
I just thought
I'd tell you a little bit
195
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,100
about the organization.
It's really incredible.
196
00:08:26,170 --> 00:08:29,600
We get a lot of celebrities,
um, you know
197
00:08:29,670 --> 00:08:30,940
coming to work with us.
198
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,610
And one time, I met Bono.
I know!
199
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,710
Is our sign upside down?
No, it's good.
200
00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:50,520
Okay, just tell us
exactly what happened.
201
00:08:50,590 --> 00:08:51,860
- Our daughter's been kidnapped.
- Kidnapped.
202
00:08:51,930 --> 00:08:53,960
We're in town for
the junior Miss Pageant...
203
00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:55,230
- Junior Miss Pageant.
- At the convention center.
204
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:56,460
It's a qualifying round, okay?
205
00:08:56,530 --> 00:08:57,770
And we drove in from Carson
206
00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,130
and we turned our backs
for a second...
207
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,500
(Williams)
'And how tall is she?'
208
00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:01,800
- Three--
- Dakota Fanning's height.
209
00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:02,970
- Yeah, around that.
- Which is what?
210
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,640
- Which is around--
- 3'-3'2"-3'3"...
211
00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:07,340
- Somewhere in there.
- Adorable. Height, adorable.
212
00:09:07,410 --> 00:09:09,410
What does she look like?
How old is she?
213
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,510
She's about six, but she can--
214
00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:12,180
She can play
definitely around four.
215
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,080
And she can look older
if you put her in lifts
216
00:09:14,150 --> 00:09:15,450
she can do eight, so I would say
217
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:16,520
anywhere between
four and eight range.
218
00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:17,890
She's gone out for eight.
She's gone out...
219
00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:19,550
If you can call back.
She's never booked eight.
220
00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,460
- But she, she can--
- She can. She can.
221
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,220
On her birth certificate
222
00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:24,730
what year does it say
she was born?
223
00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:26,560
Well, it says 7/4/99.
224
00:09:26,630 --> 00:09:27,960
It says July, July 4th.
225
00:09:28,030 --> 00:09:29,360
Actually, her real birthday
is 7/5--
226
00:09:29,430 --> 00:09:31,230
But July 4th is so much cuter.
227
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,330
Phyllis thought it would be cute
if it was the 4th.
228
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,500
Okay, I just need 1999.
That's all I needed.
229
00:09:35,570 --> 00:09:38,170
When I say "Miss America" what
day do you think of? July 5th?
230
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,710
I think of our daughter's
birthday, which is July--
231
00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:40,980
- He works in a computer store.
- 'Okay.'
232
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,210
'What's your daughter's name?'
233
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:43,580
- Ha ha, boring.
- Works in a computer store.
234
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,750
- She goes by Schk'ayler.
- Oh, God! There's a note!
235
00:09:45,810 --> 00:09:47,420
I'm so sorry. There's a note.
236
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,020
Oh, my God!
How could we forget?
237
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,280
Here. Here, the kidnappers--
238
00:09:50,350 --> 00:09:52,190
You've been holding on to that?
I thought you gave that
239
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:53,190
to them already!
240
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:55,660
"Mom and dad,
I have run away.
241
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,330
"Don't try to follow me.
242
00:09:57,390 --> 00:09:59,130
Sorry. Love, Lauren."
243
00:09:59,190 --> 00:10:00,460
- The kidnappers--
- Wait.
244
00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:02,700
You said her name was
Schk'ayler. This says Lauren.
245
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,670
That's her real name,
on her birth certificate
246
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,230
it's Lauren, but Schk'ayler's
her professional name.
247
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:09,300
Okay, what does she answer to?
If we yell to her?
248
00:10:09,370 --> 00:10:12,240
- Schk'ayler or, or Lauren.
- 'Schk'ayler or Lauren.'
249
00:10:12,310 --> 00:10:14,610
S-C-H-K apostrophe
250
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,280
A-Y-L-E-R.
251
00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:18,480
We're gonna go and
we're gonna look for her.
252
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:19,880
We're gonna call it in.
253
00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:22,580
We're gonna do, we're gonna even
do an AMBER Alert.
254
00:10:22,650 --> 00:10:25,390
Could we maybe,
just to get the name out there
255
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,920
could we make it
a Schk'ayler alert?
256
00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:28,820
No, we can't.
We can't and we won't--
257
00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:30,160
How did that Amber
get that gig?
258
00:10:30,220 --> 00:10:32,890
And we'll put
the Amber Alert out on
259
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,460
after about 5 p.m.,
if it takes that long, okay?
260
00:10:36,530 --> 00:10:37,700
Jackasses.
261
00:10:43,670 --> 00:10:46,310
- How you doin', sweet pea?
- Hi, kitten.
262
00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:47,810
You are so right.
263
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,780
Mommy and daddy are crazy.
264
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,250
You know what
we're gonna do though?
265
00:10:52,310 --> 00:10:53,780
We're gonna take you
to get an ice cream.
266
00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:54,950
- How about that?
- Yeah.
267
00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:56,650
They don't let you eat
ice cream, do they?
268
00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:57,820
(Williams)
'We're gonna fatten you up'
269
00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,390
'before we take you back.
How about that?'
270
00:11:11,030 --> 00:11:12,100
Wampala nua.
271
00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:14,900
Just do it the way
we did it before.
272
00:11:14,970 --> 00:11:17,170
This is our city hall.
273
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:18,810
This is the hall of the city.
274
00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:21,940
'Our leader is in the interior'
275
00:11:22,010 --> 00:11:23,310
'awaiting your excellency.'
276
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:26,950
I think it sounds like
blah-blah-blahs to him.
277
00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:30,350
Oh, yes, our
natural horticulture
278
00:11:30,420 --> 00:11:32,220
That's actually
a cigarette butt.
279
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:40,390
Ah, Ms. striker!
Perfect timing.
280
00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:42,430
Welcome, on behalf
of the mayor's office
281
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,030
welcome to Reno.
282
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:46,600
Welcome. I'm Ms. Striker.
283
00:11:46,670 --> 00:11:47,740
(Kimball)
'Don't be alarmed.'
284
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,840
- It's, it's a form of--
- 'It's what they do.'
285
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,040
Worship.
286
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:54,080
Come on. We're so excited
that you're here.
287
00:11:54,140 --> 00:11:56,210
- We're so happy--
- 'Oh, okay. Alright.'
288
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,680
Oh, God, there we go. Ahh.
289
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,380
- Sir?
- 'Are they gone?'
290
00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:03,450
Your Honor?
291
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:04,890
Your, Your Excellency?
292
00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:13,790
- No, no...
- Absolutely not.
293
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,960
- No!
- Not in a million years.
294
00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:17,500
- 'Really?'
- Yeah.
295
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,570
Why?
296
00:12:19,630 --> 00:12:21,070
- Why?
- Come out of there.
297
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,270
Nobody take that booth.
298
00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:23,400
That booth belongs to me.
299
00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:28,980
- Hello.
- Hi, ladies.
300
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,610
- Hi.
- Hi.
301
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,850
- How we doin'?
- Not so good.
302
00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:34,350
- Not so good?
- We have a little problem.
303
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,650
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah?
304
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,080
We can't figure this jack out.
305
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:38,420
You can't figure it out? Well--
306
00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:40,520
- Is this a jack?
- Yeah, it is a jack.
307
00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,060
- You got a flat tire?
- It is a jack.
308
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:43,960
Yeah, right here.
309
00:12:44,020 --> 00:12:45,660
I'll just go ahead
and call a tow truck then.
310
00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:46,860
No. No, no, no, no.
311
00:12:46,930 --> 00:12:49,400
We don't...
I have a jack back here.
312
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:51,530
I have a jack in, uh...
313
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,870
- Would you guys mind?
- Hey, calm down, okay?
314
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:55,870
- Yeah.
- Well, okay.
315
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:56,970
We got this.
316
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,540
Work with me,
follow my lead, and...
317
00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:01,980
I'm gonna show you
where your V block is here.
318
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,840
What your V block is,
is that's where
319
00:13:03,910 --> 00:13:05,080
you're gonna put your jack.
320
00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:08,420
Anywhere else on the car
you're gonna damage the frame.
321
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:09,620
- 'How's that sound?'
- Yeah.
322
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,820
Well, hold on, hold on.
Hold on.
323
00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:12,220
See, now, hear that?
Hear that?
324
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:13,520
Now, watch this.
325
00:13:13,590 --> 00:13:15,560
'See this little doohickey
right here?'
326
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,630
'It's connected to your
air filter and your carburetor.'
327
00:13:17,690 --> 00:13:19,390
I'm just gonna twist that
a little bit.
328
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:20,690
Now you see the difference?
329
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,400
- You guys are so nice.
- Oh, no.
330
00:13:22,460 --> 00:13:24,030
Yeah. Thank you so much.
331
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,370
I don't know what
we would've done.
332
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:26,570
No, don't worry about it,
you know?
333
00:13:26,630 --> 00:13:27,870
That's what we do, you know?
334
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:31,940
You guys pay taxes for us to,
you know, help you guys out.
335
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:33,210
- Pretty clean now.
- No.
336
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,910
You better do it a little bit,
a little bit more.
337
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:41,920
Welcome to Reno's finest,
Haywood.
338
00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:43,480
- He signed up.
- Haywood...
339
00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:44,750
Haywood ja-[bleep]-me.
340
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:51,030
- Real cute.
- That was awkward.
341
00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:52,590
Real cute.
342
00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:53,790
What have we got here? You got--
343
00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:55,630
- We got a lot of names.
- We got Ben Dover.
344
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:59,570
- Yeah?
- We got, uh, Fartie Lang.
345
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,500
[bleep] Goesinya.
346
00:14:01,570 --> 00:14:03,200
The ham burglar.
347
00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:05,140
Yeah, I don't know
if that one's for real.
348
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:07,010
- Yeah.
- Who threw the Frisbee?
349
00:14:07,070 --> 00:14:08,610
- 'Excuse me?'
- Whose Frisbee is this?
350
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:09,910
Does it belong to you?
351
00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:12,080
It belongs to our table,
but no one here threw it.
352
00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:14,250
Please control your Frisbees,
ma'am, okay?
353
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,320
'Cause it wound up over there.
354
00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:16,620
That's sensitive, delicate
355
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,150
expensive army equipment.
356
00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:20,520
Right, why don't you
control your military
357
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:23,320
so that they stop killing
civilians and innocent children?
358
00:14:23,390 --> 00:14:24,730
Why don't you go hug a tree,
lady
359
00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:26,030
before you start
flapping your cakehole
360
00:14:26,090 --> 00:14:28,200
I can kill you with this Frisbee
33 different ways.
361
00:14:28,260 --> 00:14:30,460
(Travis and Trudy)
Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
362
00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:32,900
- That's a very, very ugly...
- We get to kill people too!
363
00:14:32,970 --> 00:14:34,840
Sign up, uh, 18-week course.
364
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,170
You get to carry a gun.
365
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,270
You should try to promote
friendship and peace.
366
00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:42,780
We have 47,000 American troops
in Sri Lanka right now
367
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,980
doing exactly that.
368
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,780
It's a peacekeeping
humanitarian effort.
369
00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:47,110
No guns, sister.
370
00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:50,520
Excuse me, we have 17 people
working in our station right now
371
00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:52,950
except two are out
on maternity leave.
372
00:14:53,020 --> 00:14:55,560
It's a great opportunity
to meet people
373
00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:57,730
and talk on telephones
and drive cars--
374
00:14:57,790 --> 00:14:59,430
Keep the peace
in your own streets
375
00:14:59,490 --> 00:15:01,300
and shoot at people
who are Americans.
376
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,100
Damn right!
377
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,170
- So, you're 21.
- Yeah.
378
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:13,740
- Just turned.
- Just turned?
379
00:15:13,810 --> 00:15:15,640
- Wow, that's a fun age.
- I know.
380
00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:16,980
Are you gonna do
a little drinking?
381
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:17,980
How old are you? 42?
382
00:15:20,150 --> 00:15:21,680
- Okay, here's left.
- 'Okay.'
383
00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:23,520
- Left.
- 'Yeah. Okay.'
384
00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:24,890
- Okay?
- 'Okay.'
385
00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:26,190
Now, I'm gonna dial it up right.
386
00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:27,860
- Okay.
- Right. Right. Right.
387
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,190
- Yup, yep, that's--
- Good.
388
00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:30,720
- Now, get in the middle.
- Does that sound good?
389
00:15:30,790 --> 00:15:31,960
- That sounds better.
- Get in the middle.
390
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,060
- Okay.
- Okay, here we go.
391
00:15:33,130 --> 00:15:34,400
Here we go with the fader.
392
00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:36,300
Here we go. There we go
with the fader right there.
393
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,600
- Got it?
- 'Yeah. Oh, yeah!'
394
00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:39,600
Yes, yes, yes.
395
00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:40,770
- Wow.
- That's how it fires.
396
00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:42,500
Go ahead and fire one
into the hillside there.
397
00:15:42,570 --> 00:15:43,870
- Really?
- Yeah, go ahead.
398
00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:45,210
Go ahead.
399
00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:47,010
[gun fire]
Whoa!
400
00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:49,210
I don't know, you guys should
meet up with us though.
401
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,340
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, no problem.
402
00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:52,050
- Jones, do you have a pen?
- Oh, yeah.
403
00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:53,050
Give him your number.
404
00:15:53,110 --> 00:15:54,880
Do I have a pen. Come on, now.
405
00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:56,250
I'll put it in
your pocket for you.
406
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,520
- I'm thrilled.
- There you go.
407
00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:01,720
Alright, well,
it was nice meeting you.
408
00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:03,620
- Hey, it was good to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
409
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:04,830
- Thank you so much.
- Okay.
410
00:16:04,890 --> 00:16:06,330
- Bye-bye, ladies!
- Bye-bye!
411
00:16:06,390 --> 00:16:08,560
Bye, Edie! Bye, Judith!
412
00:16:09,630 --> 00:16:12,830
Alright. There you go.
413
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,900
[laughing]
Yeah. You.
414
00:16:14,970 --> 00:16:19,040
(man on PA)
'We got an APB for
a 2005 red Dodge Viper.'
415
00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:21,540
'Two Caucasian women.
Nevada license.'
416
00:16:21,610 --> 00:16:25,350
'Charlie, Roger, Henry, 5-7-6.'
417
00:16:25,410 --> 00:16:27,080
- Wait, uh...
- Uh...
418
00:16:27,150 --> 00:16:29,750
- Get the--
- They-they got my keys.
419
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:34,520
They got my keys.
420
00:16:34,590 --> 00:16:35,720
Our shirts are in there.
421
00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:48,600
Take that, you mother [bleep]
[bleep] sucker!
422
00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:51,110
I'll blow your
[bleep] brains out!
423
00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:52,110
There you go.
424
00:16:52,170 --> 00:16:54,170
[laughs]
This is fun.
425
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,780
This is fun!
426
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:59,050
(Catalina)
'Or jambo, actually,
as we say in Kenya.'
427
00:16:59,110 --> 00:17:01,180
That's South African for hi
428
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:04,620
so, um, you can learn
other languages too, and...
429
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:05,790
What a day, huh?
430
00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:06,920
- Yeah.
- What a day.
431
00:17:06,990 --> 00:17:08,320
Actually, I was trying
to save the pizza
432
00:17:08,390 --> 00:17:10,660
for people who sign up, but...
433
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,660
I think it's great, what, uh,
you chicks are doin', you know?
434
00:17:13,730 --> 00:17:16,630
I really believe in,
like, all that, uh...
435
00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:20,270
...singin' across borders and...
436
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:22,400
...teachin' the little Orientals
how to play basketball.
437
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:24,370
I think, uh, you know, you do...
438
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,240
Well, I'm into all that [bleep].
439
00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:28,540
Thanks. Actually, we...
440
00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:32,280
We do a lot more than, than
teach sports to Orientals.
441
00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:34,310
And actually,
they prefer to be called Asian.
442
00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:36,850
Oriental, um, you would call
this oriental.
443
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,150
Oriental's a thing, not a--
444
00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:40,090
Orientals. Yeah, I don't like
to think that way.
445
00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:41,520
I like to think of them
as people.
446
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,500
(Dangle)
'You know, teachers get
the exact same medical'
447
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,330
'and dental that we get.'
448
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,530
(Kimball)
'Yeah, that's...'
449
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,070
'I mean, I always thought
I'd be a teacher.'
450
00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:57,400
'I'm not great with kids,
I guess.'
451
00:17:57,470 --> 00:17:58,810
'Yeah.'
452
00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,640
(Dangle)
'You know,
if I'm gonna be around...'
453
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:04,310
'...people with guns,
I'd rather be armed.'
454
00:18:04,380 --> 00:18:06,080
(Kimball)
'Yeah. Ain't that the truth.'
455
00:18:07,510 --> 00:18:11,320
Have a good flight
back to Wanganui, now.
456
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:14,150
- 'Your Excellency!'
- 'We got half...'
457
00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:15,290
Yeah, we've got about
30 minutes.
458
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:16,790
- Yeah.
- Wonderful.
459
00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:17,890
Car's this way...
460
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:18,930
- Oh! Oh, no. Okay--
- Your Excellency.
461
00:18:18,990 --> 00:18:20,430
- 'Okay.'
- Oh, dear.
462
00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:21,600
(Dangle)
'Where'd he go? Hey! Hey...'
463
00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:23,530
No, no, no, no, no!
464
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:24,830
Okay.
465
00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:31,040
Bush.
466
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:41,950
Ow!
467
00:18:43,550 --> 00:18:47,420
Did I hear you say that
you were in Peru in '03?
468
00:18:47,490 --> 00:18:48,920
Yeah, I was in Peru in '03.
469
00:18:48,990 --> 00:18:50,860
- Because I was there.
- 'Really?'
470
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,330
Yeah. We were on that
irrigation mission, you know?
471
00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:55,360
We were trying to...
472
00:18:55,430 --> 00:18:56,960
We were sanitizing the water
473
00:18:57,030 --> 00:18:58,670
for the irrigation mission.
474
00:18:58,730 --> 00:19:00,400
I mean, you couldn't
probably see me.
475
00:19:00,470 --> 00:19:02,040
I was in camouflage,
but I was there.
476
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:05,140
I... I, I'm, I have to admit,
I had no idea
477
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,840
that that the army did
that kind of thing.
478
00:19:06,910 --> 00:19:08,740
- Absolutely.
- I'm really impressed.
479
00:19:08,810 --> 00:19:10,080
- Really?
- Yeah.
480
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:12,080
I mean, would you be interested
in, in getting a...
481
00:19:13,410 --> 00:19:14,720
...a tea or...
482
00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:16,950
You, you probably drink coffee.
I could try it.
483
00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:18,590
Yeah, I-I do drink coffee.
484
00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:21,520
Yeah? We could do, like,
an herbal tea/coffee thing.
485
00:19:21,590 --> 00:19:22,660
- That would be fun.
- Yeah.
486
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,730
You're not allergic to latex,
are you?
487
00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:27,190
- No.
- Alright.
488
00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:28,500
'Not that I know.'
489
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,460
I, uh, I don't know
490
00:19:30,530 --> 00:19:34,430
if I can, uh, abandon my post,
really.
491
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:36,470
We'll watch stuff for you,
if you want.
492
00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:37,670
- Yeah.
- 'Would you?'
493
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:39,540
Yeah, nobody'll try
anything with us here.
494
00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:41,010
- 'It's what we do.'
- Thank you.
495
00:19:41,070 --> 00:19:42,640
Okay, so let's go
get that drink.
496
00:19:42,710 --> 00:19:43,640
- Great.
- Yeah.
497
00:19:43,710 --> 00:19:44,650
- Yeah.
- Thanks a lot.
498
00:19:44,710 --> 00:19:45,580
Okay, we'll see you later.
499
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,750
- Go.
- Go, go, go.
500
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,900
- Your Excellency.
- Your Excellency.
501
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,300
- Reno/Tahoe. No, don't--
- He's not coming.
502
00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:07,900
Don't touch that!
503
00:20:07,970 --> 00:20:11,370
Your Excellency, we have been
greatly honored by your visit.
504
00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:16,240
And now we must part ways.
505
00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:18,750
Thank you for the honor.
506
00:20:18,810 --> 00:20:21,950
- Your... Ohh.
- [bleep]. [bleep] that.
507
00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:23,650
- Okay, last time, last time.
- My knees are killing me.
508
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:24,890
- Alright.
- Okay. Very good.
509
00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:26,420
No, no. We did it.
We already did it.
510
00:20:26,490 --> 00:20:27,420
Very good. Big medicine.
511
00:20:27,490 --> 00:20:28,420
- Iron bird!
- Bye-bye.
512
00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:29,520
Iron bird will leave!
513
00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:31,490
No! No!
He's going the wrong way.
514
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,330
Okay. Let's go.
515
00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:34,330
- Well...
- He'll figure it out.
516
00:20:34,390 --> 00:20:35,900
- We got him here safe.
- Yeah.
517
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:36,900
Hey...
518
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:40,400
Is there a circus in town?
519
00:20:42,470 --> 00:20:44,810
(Kimball)
'Ooga-booga-booga.'
520
00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:51,410
- Oh, man.
- 'Sup, blood?
521
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:55,680
(Dangle)
'Take me to,
must-must eat Fay Wray.'
522
00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:56,950
(Kimball)
'Please bring spear.'
523
00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:05,060
Okay, first of all, alright
524
00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:07,460
dropping the H-bomb at the top,
uncomfortable.
525
00:21:07,530 --> 00:21:10,860
Right now, both of you,
freebies for realsies.
526
00:21:10,930 --> 00:21:12,700
You and me, one smooch.
527
00:21:12,770 --> 00:21:15,500
You and me, one smooch.
No cost.
528
00:21:15,570 --> 00:21:17,370
You and us, no smooch.
529
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,370
I'm-I'm this close to really
laying one on you.
530
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:21,510
- 'Really?'
- Okay?
531
00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:22,580
- 'You want it.'
- 'Cause it's tempting.
532
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,580
You want it bad.
I can tell.
533
00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:25,980
You...You know what?
534
00:21:26,050 --> 00:21:28,080
But I think it might be the
Cheeto crumbs in your beard
535
00:21:28,150 --> 00:21:30,480
but I've got to say, not today.
536
00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:31,490
(male #1)
'I have a comb.'
37288
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