All language subtitles for Reno 911! - S03E06 - The Prefect of Wanganui (1080p x265 EDGE2020)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,070 --> 00:00:06,840 - Hey, give me all of his-- - 'Hey, hey, hey!' 2 00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:08,740 You gotta help me out here, the guy in cell G 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:09,740 he's tryin' to hang himself. 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:10,910 Come on! Hurry! 5 00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:13,680 - Come on! - 'Don't do it! Don't do it!' 6 00:00:13,740 --> 00:00:16,750 Sir, do not hang yourself! 7 00:00:16,810 --> 00:00:18,450 Oh, baby, I'm already hung. 8 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,090 - Happy birthday! - Happy birthday! 9 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,020 Oh, my God! 10 00:00:31,630 --> 00:00:32,690 - Whoo! - 'Hold it!' 11 00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:37,870 - What... - No, no... Oh! 12 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,400 'Whoa!' 13 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:45,570 (Travis) Go, go, go! 14 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,530 - Hey, what... - Ho! Ho! Ho! 15 00:01:14,570 --> 00:01:16,070 (Dangle) 'This is pretty exciting.' 16 00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:19,770 Did everybody read the memo about our beautiful sister city? 17 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:20,910 - 'No?' - 'No.' 18 00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:23,410 Our sister city of Wanganui, New Zealand? 19 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,050 No, I think I heard this one, but go ahead and tell it. 20 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,450 'It's not a joke.' 21 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:29,450 Oh. 22 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,990 The prefect of Wanganui-- 23 00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:35,460 - What's a prefect? - Like a mayor. 24 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,690 'Uh, of Wanganui, will be coming to visit' 25 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,600 our fair city and, uh, meeting with the mayor, I guess 26 00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:43,770 and a couple of us will need to escort him around town. 27 00:01:43,830 --> 00:01:45,430 - I want to go. - 'I already picked. It's okay.' 28 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:46,800 'Who'd you pick?' 29 00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:50,040 Hmm, the people that need to know will know. 30 00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,270 - 'Oh.' - Let me guess. You're going. 31 00:01:54,310 --> 00:01:57,180 Yes. Uh, I was gonna go do it with Kimball. 32 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,290 You assume just because he's a colored fella 33 00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:06,090 we're gonna say something offensive or something? 34 00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:08,060 How do you know he's colored? 35 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,330 Wanganui... I'm guessin' he ain't Chinese. 36 00:02:10,390 --> 00:02:11,830 - But it's New Zealand. - 'That's colored.' 37 00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:12,990 I thought they were white there. 38 00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:14,430 - Can I give an English lecture? - Colors, colors. 39 00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:16,330 Can I give an English lesson now? 40 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,430 Um, we don't say colored anymore, by the way. 41 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,600 National Advancement for the Association of Colored People. 42 00:02:21,670 --> 00:02:24,970 But we don't, we don't say crackers, right, anymore? 43 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,440 - You say crackers all the time! - 'Or, hon-honkies.' 44 00:02:27,510 --> 00:02:29,510 No, I don't, I don't say... I write it in my report. 45 00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:30,680 I don't say it. 46 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:32,180 First thing, "Good morning, cracker." 47 00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:34,250 'That's the very first thing you said to me this morning.' 48 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,250 'All the time.' 49 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,650 I'd like to commend Trudy. 50 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,550 Trudy, would you pass up your notes for a second here? 51 00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:40,720 - Sure. - I'd like to take a moment. 52 00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:42,190 I don't do this very often. 53 00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:43,760 I don't single any of you out 54 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,490 'and, uh, commend you on a job well done' 55 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,960 'but I'd like to commend Trudy because all the time' 56 00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:51,030 that I've been up here talking 57 00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:54,300 Trudy has drawn several things. 58 00:02:54,370 --> 00:02:57,240 Turtle lady, uh, here. 59 00:02:57,310 --> 00:03:01,340 And then lobster crab man with double penis. 60 00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:04,610 And then, uh, monster-mouth baby 61 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,780 with teats and sideways vagina. 62 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,430 Ma'am, would you mind turning down the music? 63 00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:27,040 - 'Hi.' - How you doin'? 64 00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:29,000 (female #1) 'Okay. How are you?' 65 00:03:29,070 --> 00:03:31,870 Ma'am, I suspect that if I were to search this here vehicle 66 00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:33,580 I might find me a little marijuana. 67 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,880 - 'Oh, no.' - No, no way. 68 00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:40,110 No, uh, no marijuana? No, uh, paraphernalia? 69 00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:43,950 - No, uh, no bongs? No scales? - 'No.' 70 00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:45,750 - Nothing at all? - 'Definitely not.' 71 00:03:45,820 --> 00:03:47,920 You're telling me this van is totally clean 72 00:03:47,990 --> 00:03:49,090 of all illicit substances? 73 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,560 'Totally illicit.' 74 00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:52,260 So you didn't mind if I were to come in 75 00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:53,830 and maybe poke around your glove box? 76 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,530 'That would be great.' 77 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,770 See, I noticed all your, uh, stickers out there 78 00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:00,540 with the "Legalize it," and you got-- 79 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,270 'Oh, yeah. This is my neighbor's car.' 80 00:04:03,340 --> 00:04:04,910 - 'Neighbor's car, you got?' - 'Yeah.' 81 00:04:04,970 --> 00:04:07,940 'I'm gonna check underneath your dash here.' 82 00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:10,010 (female #1) 'We're headed out to a sit-in up north' 83 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,750 'for this tree that's gonna die.' 84 00:04:11,810 --> 00:04:13,620 (Travis) 'Yeah, a sit-in you got.' 85 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:14,820 You don't mind if were to check 86 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:15,850 underneath the vehicle, would you? 87 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:16,920 (female #1) 'No, that'd be great.' 88 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,650 - Yeah, it'd be great. - 'Groovy. 89 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,820 You see... 90 00:04:20,890 --> 00:04:23,860 ...us, uh, police officers ain't quite as dumb 91 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,360 as you hippies think we are. 92 00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:29,330 Sometimes, what they do is they strap keys of marijuana 93 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,870 underneath the vehicle 'cause they think 94 00:04:30,930 --> 00:04:32,530 we ain't gonna search there, but... 95 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,900 [bleep] damn. 96 00:04:33,970 --> 00:04:37,340 Well, now, you, uh, appear to be clean. 97 00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:40,310 You just, uh, try and mind the speed limits, alright? 98 00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:41,410 (female #1) 'I'll try.' 99 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:42,780 'Have a groovy day.' 100 00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:45,950 [indistinct police radio chatter] 101 00:04:48,350 --> 00:04:50,590 - You have a good day now. - 'Thanks, officer.' 102 00:04:57,890 --> 00:05:00,090 I wish we had had time to look up a little bit 103 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,160 of the Wanganui language. 104 00:05:04,330 --> 00:05:05,300 I do too. 105 00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:06,670 Well, I did have time, to be honest 106 00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:07,700 last night, but I ended up-- 107 00:05:07,770 --> 00:05:08,770 But you just didn't. 108 00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:10,840 No, I curled up in front of "The OC..." 109 00:05:12,470 --> 00:05:16,410 And I had a big pint of Chubby Hubby, and then... 110 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,680 ...my over, uh, my morbidly obese friend, Margaret, called 111 00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:21,320 and she got talkin' and she was cryin' 112 00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:24,490 she was all upset because they're mad at her-at her job. 113 00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:27,820 Anyway, long story short, I didn't learn any Wanganui. 114 00:05:27,890 --> 00:05:29,960 (woman on PA) 'The white zone is for immediate loading' 115 00:05:30,020 --> 00:05:31,460 'and unloading of passengers...' 116 00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:33,930 You know, I don't know if he's gonna be able to read this sign. 117 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,960 So I hope we can recognize him 118 00:05:37,030 --> 00:05:39,000 'cause I don't think he even speaks a word of English. 119 00:05:39,070 --> 00:05:40,000 - Wait a second. - Oh, hello. 120 00:05:40,070 --> 00:05:41,870 - Hello. - Oh. 121 00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:44,510 - Wow. - Your Excellency! 122 00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:46,840 Hail, prefect of Wanganui. 123 00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:51,210 Welcome to Reno. 124 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,250 Biggest little city... 125 00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:56,420 - Oh. He is-- - Oh. New people, new customs... 126 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,650 - How do you do? - How do you do? 127 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,260 Welcome...to Reno. 128 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,360 Jewel of the Silver State, sister... 129 00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:04,690 - That is just... - City... 130 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,530 - Can you believe that? - 'He's kissin' the ground.' 131 00:06:06,590 --> 00:06:08,630 Reno/Tahoe International Airport 132 00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:11,930 is honored that you would kiss its concrete, and we... 133 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,540 - Our concrete is not worth-- - We...go down? 134 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,440 - We go down. We go down. - I think we're supposed to. 135 00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:17,810 - Okay. - Your Excellency. 136 00:06:17,870 --> 00:06:20,410 Welcome to Reno, sister city of Wanganui. 137 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,110 Jewel of the Silver State. 138 00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:24,010 - We... Oh, my goodness! - Oh! Hello! 139 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,880 - 'Hello. It's a ritual.' - 'Oh, my goodness.' 140 00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:26,910 (Dangle) 'It's okay. It's a ritual.' 141 00:06:26,980 --> 00:06:28,120 'Different people, different ways.' 142 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,650 'We shall hasten you to the mayor's office.' 143 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,420 The mayor is our... 144 00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:33,760 (woman on PA) 'For immediate loading...' 145 00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:35,360 ...numero uno chieftain. 146 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,330 Your Excellency? 147 00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:39,890 Visiting dignitary. 148 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,630 - Prefect of Wanganui. - That's the smell. 149 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:45,730 This is the way to our carriage. 150 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,140 Oh, I know what'll get him in. 151 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,470 - Hey, look at that. - 'That's right.' 152 00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,870 - 'Oh, good. He likes that.' - Look at that. 153 00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:53,570 He likes that. He's taking the bait. Good, good, good. 154 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:54,580 - Here we go. - 'Okay.' 155 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:55,810 And he's in. Got him. 156 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,180 - 'Oh, I got him!' - Got him! Got him. 157 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,210 Get the foot! Get the foot! Get the foot! 158 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:00,650 Oh! 159 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,620 You are a powerful, powerful man with a powerful smell. 160 00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:06,120 (Kimball) 'Oh, dear.' 161 00:07:06,190 --> 00:07:08,190 (woman on PA) 'The white zone is for immediate loading' 162 00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:10,590 'and unloading of passengers only.' 163 00:07:10,660 --> 00:07:12,390 'There is no parking in the white zone.' 164 00:07:20,170 --> 00:07:22,270 (Travis) 'We've been assigned to come on down to' 165 00:07:22,340 --> 00:07:25,110 'one of the local high schools for, uh, their career day.' 166 00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:27,680 So what we're gonna do is, we have to get 167 00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:29,580 twenty five signatures by the end of the day 168 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:30,750 or we don't get paid. 169 00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:32,580 - It should be easy. - Yeah. 170 00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:34,450 Plus, we're giving away free magic sponges. 171 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:35,820 You put 'em in water and they grow 172 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,820 and they become a sponge that says 173 00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,090 help us clean up Reno. 174 00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:40,150 - Yeah. - It's just for fun. 175 00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:41,760 It's just for later, they remember-- 176 00:07:41,820 --> 00:07:43,890 Yeah, they're at home, washing their hands and they think 177 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,360 "Oh, yeah, I signed up for the police academy." 178 00:07:46,430 --> 00:07:49,260 Today's army will give you 179 00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:51,530 more of an opportunity and prepare you more for life 180 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,100 than anything else you can do. 181 00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:55,270 You can go to faraway exotic places 182 00:07:55,340 --> 00:07:56,600 meet interesting people... 183 00:07:58,210 --> 00:07:59,370 ...and force the American will on 'em. 184 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,840 Democracy, liberty, justice. 185 00:08:01,910 --> 00:08:03,680 Does that sound like something you guys would want to do? 186 00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:05,680 - Yeah! - Give me a hoo-ha! 187 00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:06,680 (all) Hoo-ha! 188 00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:07,720 Alright! 189 00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:09,180 Sign up for Sheriff's Department. 190 00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:13,860 Free sponges! 191 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,690 Magic sponges. 192 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,090 One sponge per customer. 193 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,960 Hey, guys, welcome to the Peace Corps table. I'm Catalina. 194 00:08:22,030 --> 00:08:23,500 I just thought I'd tell you a little bit 195 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,100 about the organization. It's really incredible. 196 00:08:26,170 --> 00:08:29,600 We get a lot of celebrities, um, you know 197 00:08:29,670 --> 00:08:30,940 coming to work with us. 198 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,610 And one time, I met Bono. I know! 199 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,710 Is our sign upside down? No, it's good. 200 00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:50,520 Okay, just tell us exactly what happened. 201 00:08:50,590 --> 00:08:51,860 - Our daughter's been kidnapped. - Kidnapped. 202 00:08:51,930 --> 00:08:53,960 We're in town for the junior Miss Pageant... 203 00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:55,230 - Junior Miss Pageant. - At the convention center. 204 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:56,460 It's a qualifying round, okay? 205 00:08:56,530 --> 00:08:57,770 And we drove in from Carson 206 00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,130 and we turned our backs for a second... 207 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,500 (Williams) 'And how tall is she?' 208 00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:01,800 - Three-- - Dakota Fanning's height. 209 00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:02,970 - Yeah, around that. - Which is what? 210 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,640 - Which is around-- - 3'-3'2"-3'3"... 211 00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:07,340 - Somewhere in there. - Adorable. Height, adorable. 212 00:09:07,410 --> 00:09:09,410 What does she look like? How old is she? 213 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,510 She's about six, but she can-- 214 00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:12,180 She can play definitely around four. 215 00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,080 And she can look older if you put her in lifts 216 00:09:14,150 --> 00:09:15,450 she can do eight, so I would say 217 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:16,520 anywhere between four and eight range. 218 00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:17,890 She's gone out for eight. She's gone out... 219 00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:19,550 If you can call back. She's never booked eight. 220 00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,460 - But she, she can-- - She can. She can. 221 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,220 On her birth certificate 222 00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:24,730 what year does it say she was born? 223 00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:26,560 Well, it says 7/4/99. 224 00:09:26,630 --> 00:09:27,960 It says July, July 4th. 225 00:09:28,030 --> 00:09:29,360 Actually, her real birthday is 7/5-- 226 00:09:29,430 --> 00:09:31,230 But July 4th is so much cuter. 227 00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,330 Phyllis thought it would be cute if it was the 4th. 228 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,500 Okay, I just need 1999. That's all I needed. 229 00:09:35,570 --> 00:09:38,170 When I say "Miss America" what day do you think of? July 5th? 230 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,710 I think of our daughter's birthday, which is July-- 231 00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:40,980 - He works in a computer store. - 'Okay.' 232 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,210 'What's your daughter's name?' 233 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:43,580 - Ha ha, boring. - Works in a computer store. 234 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,750 - She goes by Schk'ayler. - Oh, God! There's a note! 235 00:09:45,810 --> 00:09:47,420 I'm so sorry. There's a note. 236 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,020 Oh, my God! How could we forget? 237 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,280 Here. Here, the kidnappers-- 238 00:09:50,350 --> 00:09:52,190 You've been holding on to that? I thought you gave that 239 00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:53,190 to them already! 240 00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:55,660 "Mom and dad, I have run away. 241 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,330 "Don't try to follow me. 242 00:09:57,390 --> 00:09:59,130 Sorry. Love, Lauren." 243 00:09:59,190 --> 00:10:00,460 - The kidnappers-- - Wait. 244 00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:02,700 You said her name was Schk'ayler. This says Lauren. 245 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,670 That's her real name, on her birth certificate 246 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,230 it's Lauren, but Schk'ayler's her professional name. 247 00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:09,300 Okay, what does she answer to? If we yell to her? 248 00:10:09,370 --> 00:10:12,240 - Schk'ayler or, or Lauren. - 'Schk'ayler or Lauren.' 249 00:10:12,310 --> 00:10:14,610 S-C-H-K apostrophe 250 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,280 A-Y-L-E-R. 251 00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:18,480 We're gonna go and we're gonna look for her. 252 00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:19,880 We're gonna call it in. 253 00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:22,580 We're gonna do, we're gonna even do an AMBER Alert. 254 00:10:22,650 --> 00:10:25,390 Could we maybe, just to get the name out there 255 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,920 could we make it a Schk'ayler alert? 256 00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:28,820 No, we can't. We can't and we won't-- 257 00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:30,160 How did that Amber get that gig? 258 00:10:30,220 --> 00:10:32,890 And we'll put the Amber Alert out on 259 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,460 after about 5 p.m., if it takes that long, okay? 260 00:10:36,530 --> 00:10:37,700 Jackasses. 261 00:10:43,670 --> 00:10:46,310 - How you doin', sweet pea? - Hi, kitten. 262 00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:47,810 You are so right. 263 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,780 Mommy and daddy are crazy. 264 00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,250 You know what we're gonna do though? 265 00:10:52,310 --> 00:10:53,780 We're gonna take you to get an ice cream. 266 00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:54,950 - How about that? - Yeah. 267 00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:56,650 They don't let you eat ice cream, do they? 268 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:57,820 (Williams) 'We're gonna fatten you up' 269 00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,390 'before we take you back. How about that?' 270 00:11:11,030 --> 00:11:12,100 Wampala nua. 271 00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:14,900 Just do it the way we did it before. 272 00:11:14,970 --> 00:11:17,170 This is our city hall. 273 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:18,810 This is the hall of the city. 274 00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:21,940 'Our leader is in the interior' 275 00:11:22,010 --> 00:11:23,310 'awaiting your excellency.' 276 00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:26,950 I think it sounds like blah-blah-blahs to him. 277 00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:30,350 Oh, yes, our natural horticulture 278 00:11:30,420 --> 00:11:32,220 That's actually a cigarette butt. 279 00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:40,390 Ah, Ms. striker! Perfect timing. 280 00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:42,430 Welcome, on behalf of the mayor's office 281 00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,030 welcome to Reno. 282 00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:46,600 Welcome. I'm Ms. Striker. 283 00:11:46,670 --> 00:11:47,740 (Kimball) 'Don't be alarmed.' 284 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,840 - It's, it's a form of-- - 'It's what they do.' 285 00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,040 Worship. 286 00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:54,080 Come on. We're so excited that you're here. 287 00:11:54,140 --> 00:11:56,210 - We're so happy-- - 'Oh, okay. Alright.' 288 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,680 Oh, God, there we go. Ahh. 289 00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,380 - Sir? - 'Are they gone?' 290 00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:03,450 Your Honor? 291 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:04,890 Your, Your Excellency? 292 00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:13,790 - No, no... - Absolutely not. 293 00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,960 - No! - Not in a million years. 294 00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:17,500 - 'Really?' - Yeah. 295 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,570 Why? 296 00:12:19,630 --> 00:12:21,070 - Why? - Come out of there. 297 00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,270 Nobody take that booth. 298 00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:23,400 That booth belongs to me. 299 00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:28,980 - Hello. - Hi, ladies. 300 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,610 - Hi. - Hi. 301 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,850 - How we doin'? - Not so good. 302 00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:34,350 - Not so good? - We have a little problem. 303 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,650 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah? 304 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,080 We can't figure this jack out. 305 00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:38,420 You can't figure it out? Well-- 306 00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:40,520 - Is this a jack? - Yeah, it is a jack. 307 00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,060 - You got a flat tire? - It is a jack. 308 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:43,960 Yeah, right here. 309 00:12:44,020 --> 00:12:45,660 I'll just go ahead and call a tow truck then. 310 00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:46,860 No. No, no, no, no. 311 00:12:46,930 --> 00:12:49,400 We don't... I have a jack back here. 312 00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:51,530 I have a jack in, uh... 313 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,870 - Would you guys mind? - Hey, calm down, okay? 314 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:55,870 - Yeah. - Well, okay. 315 00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:56,970 We got this. 316 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,540 Work with me, follow my lead, and... 317 00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:01,980 I'm gonna show you where your V block is here. 318 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,840 What your V block is, is that's where 319 00:13:03,910 --> 00:13:05,080 you're gonna put your jack. 320 00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:08,420 Anywhere else on the car you're gonna damage the frame. 321 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:09,620 - 'How's that sound?' - Yeah. 322 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,820 Well, hold on, hold on. Hold on. 323 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:12,220 See, now, hear that? Hear that? 324 00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:13,520 Now, watch this. 325 00:13:13,590 --> 00:13:15,560 'See this little doohickey right here?' 326 00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,630 'It's connected to your air filter and your carburetor.' 327 00:13:17,690 --> 00:13:19,390 I'm just gonna twist that a little bit. 328 00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:20,690 Now you see the difference? 329 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,400 - You guys are so nice. - Oh, no. 330 00:13:22,460 --> 00:13:24,030 Yeah. Thank you so much. 331 00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,370 I don't know what we would've done. 332 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:26,570 No, don't worry about it, you know? 333 00:13:26,630 --> 00:13:27,870 That's what we do, you know? 334 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:31,940 You guys pay taxes for us to, you know, help you guys out. 335 00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:33,210 - Pretty clean now. - No. 336 00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,910 You better do it a little bit, a little bit more. 337 00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:41,920 Welcome to Reno's finest, Haywood. 338 00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:43,480 - He signed up. - Haywood... 339 00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:44,750 Haywood ja-[bleep]-me. 340 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:51,030 - Real cute. - That was awkward. 341 00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:52,590 Real cute. 342 00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:53,790 What have we got here? You got-- 343 00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:55,630 - We got a lot of names. - We got Ben Dover. 344 00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:59,570 - Yeah? - We got, uh, Fartie Lang. 345 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,500 [bleep] Goesinya. 346 00:14:01,570 --> 00:14:03,200 The ham burglar. 347 00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:05,140 Yeah, I don't know if that one's for real. 348 00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:07,010 - Yeah. - Who threw the Frisbee? 349 00:14:07,070 --> 00:14:08,610 - 'Excuse me?' - Whose Frisbee is this? 350 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:09,910 Does it belong to you? 351 00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:12,080 It belongs to our table, but no one here threw it. 352 00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:14,250 Please control your Frisbees, ma'am, okay? 353 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,320 'Cause it wound up over there. 354 00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:16,620 That's sensitive, delicate 355 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,150 expensive army equipment. 356 00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:20,520 Right, why don't you control your military 357 00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:23,320 so that they stop killing civilians and innocent children? 358 00:14:23,390 --> 00:14:24,730 Why don't you go hug a tree, lady 359 00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:26,030 before you start flapping your cakehole 360 00:14:26,090 --> 00:14:28,200 I can kill you with this Frisbee 33 different ways. 361 00:14:28,260 --> 00:14:30,460 (Travis and Trudy) Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 362 00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:32,900 - That's a very, very ugly... - We get to kill people too! 363 00:14:32,970 --> 00:14:34,840 Sign up, uh, 18-week course. 364 00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,170 You get to carry a gun. 365 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,270 You should try to promote friendship and peace. 366 00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:42,780 We have 47,000 American troops in Sri Lanka right now 367 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,980 doing exactly that. 368 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,780 It's a peacekeeping humanitarian effort. 369 00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:47,110 No guns, sister. 370 00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:50,520 Excuse me, we have 17 people working in our station right now 371 00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:52,950 except two are out on maternity leave. 372 00:14:53,020 --> 00:14:55,560 It's a great opportunity to meet people 373 00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:57,730 and talk on telephones and drive cars-- 374 00:14:57,790 --> 00:14:59,430 Keep the peace in your own streets 375 00:14:59,490 --> 00:15:01,300 and shoot at people who are Americans. 376 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,100 Damn right! 377 00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,170 - So, you're 21. - Yeah. 378 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:13,740 - Just turned. - Just turned? 379 00:15:13,810 --> 00:15:15,640 - Wow, that's a fun age. - I know. 380 00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:16,980 Are you gonna do a little drinking? 381 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:17,980 How old are you? 42? 382 00:15:20,150 --> 00:15:21,680 - Okay, here's left. - 'Okay.' 383 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:23,520 - Left. - 'Yeah. Okay.' 384 00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:24,890 - Okay? - 'Okay.' 385 00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:26,190 Now, I'm gonna dial it up right. 386 00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:27,860 - Okay. - Right. Right. Right. 387 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,190 - Yup, yep, that's-- - Good. 388 00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:30,720 - Now, get in the middle. - Does that sound good? 389 00:15:30,790 --> 00:15:31,960 - That sounds better. - Get in the middle. 390 00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,060 - Okay. - Okay, here we go. 391 00:15:33,130 --> 00:15:34,400 Here we go with the fader. 392 00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:36,300 Here we go. There we go with the fader right there. 393 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,600 - Got it? - 'Yeah. Oh, yeah!' 394 00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:39,600 Yes, yes, yes. 395 00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:40,770 - Wow. - That's how it fires. 396 00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:42,500 Go ahead and fire one into the hillside there. 397 00:15:42,570 --> 00:15:43,870 - Really? - Yeah, go ahead. 398 00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:45,210 Go ahead. 399 00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:47,010 [gun fire] Whoa! 400 00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:49,210 I don't know, you guys should meet up with us though. 401 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,340 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, no problem. 402 00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:52,050 - Jones, do you have a pen? - Oh, yeah. 403 00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:53,050 Give him your number. 404 00:15:53,110 --> 00:15:54,880 Do I have a pen. Come on, now. 405 00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:56,250 I'll put it in your pocket for you. 406 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,520 - I'm thrilled. - There you go. 407 00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:01,720 Alright, well, it was nice meeting you. 408 00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:03,620 - Hey, it was good to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 409 00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:04,830 - Thank you so much. - Okay. 410 00:16:04,890 --> 00:16:06,330 - Bye-bye, ladies! - Bye-bye! 411 00:16:06,390 --> 00:16:08,560 Bye, Edie! Bye, Judith! 412 00:16:09,630 --> 00:16:12,830 Alright. There you go. 413 00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,900 [laughing] Yeah. You. 414 00:16:14,970 --> 00:16:19,040 (man on PA) 'We got an APB for a 2005 red Dodge Viper.' 415 00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:21,540 'Two Caucasian women. Nevada license.' 416 00:16:21,610 --> 00:16:25,350 'Charlie, Roger, Henry, 5-7-6.' 417 00:16:25,410 --> 00:16:27,080 - Wait, uh... - Uh... 418 00:16:27,150 --> 00:16:29,750 - Get the-- - They-they got my keys. 419 00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:34,520 They got my keys. 420 00:16:34,590 --> 00:16:35,720 Our shirts are in there. 421 00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:48,600 Take that, you mother [bleep] [bleep] sucker! 422 00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:51,110 I'll blow your [bleep] brains out! 423 00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:52,110 There you go. 424 00:16:52,170 --> 00:16:54,170 [laughs] This is fun. 425 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,780 This is fun! 426 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:59,050 (Catalina) 'Or jambo, actually, as we say in Kenya.' 427 00:16:59,110 --> 00:17:01,180 That's South African for hi 428 00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:04,620 so, um, you can learn other languages too, and... 429 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:05,790 What a day, huh? 430 00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:06,920 - Yeah. - What a day. 431 00:17:06,990 --> 00:17:08,320 Actually, I was trying to save the pizza 432 00:17:08,390 --> 00:17:10,660 for people who sign up, but... 433 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,660 I think it's great, what, uh, you chicks are doin', you know? 434 00:17:13,730 --> 00:17:16,630 I really believe in, like, all that, uh... 435 00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:20,270 ...singin' across borders and... 436 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:22,400 ...teachin' the little Orientals how to play basketball. 437 00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:24,370 I think, uh, you know, you do... 438 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,240 Well, I'm into all that [bleep]. 439 00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:28,540 Thanks. Actually, we... 440 00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:32,280 We do a lot more than, than teach sports to Orientals. 441 00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:34,310 And actually, they prefer to be called Asian. 442 00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:36,850 Oriental, um, you would call this oriental. 443 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,150 Oriental's a thing, not a-- 444 00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:40,090 Orientals. Yeah, I don't like to think that way. 445 00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:41,520 I like to think of them as people. 446 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,500 (Dangle) 'You know, teachers get the exact same medical' 447 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,330 'and dental that we get.' 448 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,530 (Kimball) 'Yeah, that's...' 449 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,070 'I mean, I always thought I'd be a teacher.' 450 00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:57,400 'I'm not great with kids, I guess.' 451 00:17:57,470 --> 00:17:58,810 'Yeah.' 452 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,640 (Dangle) 'You know, if I'm gonna be around...' 453 00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:04,310 '...people with guns, I'd rather be armed.' 454 00:18:04,380 --> 00:18:06,080 (Kimball) 'Yeah. Ain't that the truth.' 455 00:18:07,510 --> 00:18:11,320 Have a good flight back to Wanganui, now. 456 00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:14,150 - 'Your Excellency!' - 'We got half...' 457 00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:15,290 Yeah, we've got about 30 minutes. 458 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:16,790 - Yeah. - Wonderful. 459 00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:17,890 Car's this way... 460 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:18,930 - Oh! Oh, no. Okay-- - Your Excellency. 461 00:18:18,990 --> 00:18:20,430 - 'Okay.' - Oh, dear. 462 00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:21,600 (Dangle) 'Where'd he go? Hey! Hey...' 463 00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:23,530 No, no, no, no, no! 464 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:24,830 Okay. 465 00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:31,040 Bush. 466 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:41,950 Ow! 467 00:18:43,550 --> 00:18:47,420 Did I hear you say that you were in Peru in '03? 468 00:18:47,490 --> 00:18:48,920 Yeah, I was in Peru in '03. 469 00:18:48,990 --> 00:18:50,860 - Because I was there. - 'Really?' 470 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,330 Yeah. We were on that irrigation mission, you know? 471 00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:55,360 We were trying to... 472 00:18:55,430 --> 00:18:56,960 We were sanitizing the water 473 00:18:57,030 --> 00:18:58,670 for the irrigation mission. 474 00:18:58,730 --> 00:19:00,400 I mean, you couldn't probably see me. 475 00:19:00,470 --> 00:19:02,040 I was in camouflage, but I was there. 476 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:05,140 I... I, I'm, I have to admit, I had no idea 477 00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,840 that that the army did that kind of thing. 478 00:19:06,910 --> 00:19:08,740 - Absolutely. - I'm really impressed. 479 00:19:08,810 --> 00:19:10,080 - Really? - Yeah. 480 00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:12,080 I mean, would you be interested in, in getting a... 481 00:19:13,410 --> 00:19:14,720 ...a tea or... 482 00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:16,950 You, you probably drink coffee. I could try it. 483 00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:18,590 Yeah, I-I do drink coffee. 484 00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:21,520 Yeah? We could do, like, an herbal tea/coffee thing. 485 00:19:21,590 --> 00:19:22,660 - That would be fun. - Yeah. 486 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,730 You're not allergic to latex, are you? 487 00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:27,190 - No. - Alright. 488 00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:28,500 'Not that I know.' 489 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,460 I, uh, I don't know 490 00:19:30,530 --> 00:19:34,430 if I can, uh, abandon my post, really. 491 00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:36,470 We'll watch stuff for you, if you want. 492 00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:37,670 - Yeah. - 'Would you?' 493 00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:39,540 Yeah, nobody'll try anything with us here. 494 00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:41,010 - 'It's what we do.' - Thank you. 495 00:19:41,070 --> 00:19:42,640 Okay, so let's go get that drink. 496 00:19:42,710 --> 00:19:43,640 - Great. - Yeah. 497 00:19:43,710 --> 00:19:44,650 - Yeah. - Thanks a lot. 498 00:19:44,710 --> 00:19:45,580 Okay, we'll see you later. 499 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,750 - Go. - Go, go, go. 500 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,900 - Your Excellency. - Your Excellency. 501 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,300 - Reno/Tahoe. No, don't-- - He's not coming. 502 00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:07,900 Don't touch that! 503 00:20:07,970 --> 00:20:11,370 Your Excellency, we have been greatly honored by your visit. 504 00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:16,240 And now we must part ways. 505 00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:18,750 Thank you for the honor. 506 00:20:18,810 --> 00:20:21,950 - Your... Ohh. - [bleep]. [bleep] that. 507 00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:23,650 - Okay, last time, last time. - My knees are killing me. 508 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:24,890 - Alright. - Okay. Very good. 509 00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:26,420 No, no. We did it. We already did it. 510 00:20:26,490 --> 00:20:27,420 Very good. Big medicine. 511 00:20:27,490 --> 00:20:28,420 - Iron bird! - Bye-bye. 512 00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:29,520 Iron bird will leave! 513 00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:31,490 No! No! He's going the wrong way. 514 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,330 Okay. Let's go. 515 00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:34,330 - Well... - He'll figure it out. 516 00:20:34,390 --> 00:20:35,900 - We got him here safe. - Yeah. 517 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:36,900 Hey... 518 00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:40,400 Is there a circus in town? 519 00:20:42,470 --> 00:20:44,810 (Kimball) 'Ooga-booga-booga.' 520 00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:51,410 - Oh, man. - 'Sup, blood? 521 00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:55,680 (Dangle) 'Take me to, must-must eat Fay Wray.' 522 00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:56,950 (Kimball) 'Please bring spear.' 523 00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:05,060 Okay, first of all, alright 524 00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:07,460 dropping the H-bomb at the top, uncomfortable. 525 00:21:07,530 --> 00:21:10,860 Right now, both of you, freebies for realsies. 526 00:21:10,930 --> 00:21:12,700 You and me, one smooch. 527 00:21:12,770 --> 00:21:15,500 You and me, one smooch. No cost. 528 00:21:15,570 --> 00:21:17,370 You and us, no smooch. 529 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,370 I'm-I'm this close to really laying one on you. 530 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:21,510 - 'Really?' - Okay? 531 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:22,580 - 'You want it.' - 'Cause it's tempting. 532 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,580 You want it bad. I can tell. 533 00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:25,980 You...You know what? 534 00:21:26,050 --> 00:21:28,080 But I think it might be the Cheeto crumbs in your beard 535 00:21:28,150 --> 00:21:30,480 but I've got to say, not today. 536 00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:31,490 (male #1) 'I have a comb.' 37288

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