All language subtitles for Parks.and.Recreation.S03E07.Harvest.Festival.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DD5.1.x264-NTb

- OKAY, EVERYBODY, THE HARVEST
FESTIVAL IS TOMORROW.

AND I AM SO PROUD
OF ALL OF YOU.

YOU'VE WORKED SO HARD.

YOU'RE AMAZING.
SO I HAVE A SURPRISE.

AND IT IS POSSIBLY
THE BEST THING

TO POTENTIALLY EVER HAPPEN

TO ANYONE ANYWHERE

IN THE HISTORY
OF THE UNIVERSE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THE WORLD-FAMOUS
LI'L SEBASTIAN.

- WHAT?
- YES!

- NO WAY!
[all laugh, exclaim]

- LI'L SEBASTIAN?
OH, MY GOD!

- OH, SNAP!

- IT'S REALLY HIM!

- THAT'S REALLY
LI'L SEBASTIAN?

- YES, THIS IS HIM!
- THAT IS LI'L SEBASTIAN?

- TAKE MY PICTURE,
TAKE MY PICTURE, PLEASE.

- WELL DONE, LESLIE.
WELL DONE!

- I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D GET TO MEET HIM!

- WOW.

- LI'L SEBASTIAN
MADE HIS DEBUT

AT THE LAST HARVEST FESTIVAL
IN 1987,

AND HE WAS
AN INSTANT PHENOMENON.

THAT WEEK,

HE WAS THE EIGHTH MOST
PHOTOGRAPHED OBJECT IN AMERICA.

SO SUCK IT, THE ALAMO.

- I'M SITTING NEXT TO
LI'L SEBASTIAN.

- I KNOW, I KNOW.

- RIGHT NOW, I'M HERE,
LI'L SEBASTIAN'S RIGHT THERE.

- WOW!
[laughter]

- WOW. SO WHAT AM I MISSING?
WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THIS PONY?

- HE'S NOT A PONY, BEN.
HE'S A MINI HORSE.

THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE.

- WELL, THEN,
WHY IS HE SO FAMOUS?

DOES HE--DOES HE--
DOES HE DO SOMETHING?

WHAT DOES HE DO?

- YEAH, HE DOES
BEING A MINI HORSE,

AND HE DOES IT
BETTER THAN ANYONE.

- SON, THIS HORSE HAS AN
HONORARY DEGREE FROM NOTRE DAME.

- WE ALL NEED
TO BE VERY CAREFUL, OKAY?

REMEMBER,
THIS LITTLE GUY IS 25 NOW.

AND HE HAS CATARACTS
IN BOTH EYES

AND HE HAS
SEVERE ARTHRITIS.

JERRY IS GONNA LOOK AFTER HIM.
- YES, I AM.

WE ARE BOTH ON
THE SAME DIABETES MEDICATION.

ARE YOU MY GLUCOTROL BUDDY?

ARE YOU? HUH?

- ISN'T IT AMAZING?

- YEAH,
I'VE JUST GOT TO BE HONEST.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS.

- GET OUT.

[triumphant music]

*

- HMM.

- OKAY, COULDN'T YOU
PUT SUE'S SALADS HERE?

- ON DEEP FRIED BOULEVARD?

- IT'S JUST...

THERE'S SO MANY JUNK FOOD PLACES
AND ONLY ONE SALAD STAND.

- WELL, WE WANT TO MAKE MONEY,
NOT MAKE PEOPLE HATE THEMSELVES.

- SALADS ARE MY LIFE.
- OF COURSE. I'M SORRY.

UM, YOU KNOW WHAT WE'LL DO?

WE'LL MAKE SUE'S SALADS

THE OFFICIAL HEALTHY CHOICE
OF THE HARVEST FESTIVAL.

- WOW. THAT'S GREAT. THANK YOU.
- OF COURSE. SURE.

NOBODY'S GONNA COME
TO YOUR STUPID BOOTH ANYWAY.

- I'M SORRY?

- WELL, THE HARVEST FESTIVAL
IS THE BIGGEST THING

I'VE EVER DONE IN MY CAREER,
AND IF IT FAILS,

THE PARKS DEPARTMENT
WILL BE ELIMINATED.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE GOING BIG.

SEVEN DAYS,
OVER 30 DIFFERENT LOCATIONS,

50,000-PLUS VISITORS,
AND FOUR HOSPITALITY KIOSKS.

GOD, I GOTTA STOP
ENDING ON THAT BORING THING.

CLOWNS!

- UH, WELL, NO, YOU CANNOT
SELL HOME-BREWED WATER.

AND AGAIN, NO, I WOULD NOT
LIKE TO TASTE IT.

BUT THANK YOU FOR COMING IN.

APRIL, WHO'S NEXT?

- MAN, YOU ARE JUST
KNOCKING THESE OFF.

YOU'RE LIKE A NINJA CROSSED
WITH A JEDI OR SOMETHING.

- YOU'RE LIKE A NERD MIXED
WITH A DORK OR SOMETHING.

- TOM, STAR WARS
IS NOT THAT NERDY.

- [nerdy voice]
NO, STAR WA IS NOT THAT NERDY.

- IT'S NOT;
EVERYONE'S SEEN IT.

- [nerdy voice]
EVERYONE'S SEEN IT.

- EVERYONE.
- THIS GUY'S HERE.

- HEY, KEN.
- HI, LESLIE.

- THIS IS BEN AND TOM.
- THAT'S A DOPE BOLO.

- THIS IS KEN HOTATE.

HE IS THE TRIBAL LEADER
OF THE WAMAPOKE.

- AH! WALLAHO!

- I JUST SAID,
"HELLO, HONORED GUEST."

ALTHOUGH,
LITERALLY TRANSLATED,

IT MEANS, "MAY YOU BE BLESSED
WITH A MILLION POSSUMS."

THE WAMAPOKE USED
TO USE POSSUM AS CURRENCY.

- OH. WELL,
WALLA-HEY NONI-KOTI.

- NO, DON'T. OKAY.
HAVE A SEAT.

KEN, I KNOW WHY
YOU'RE HERE.

AND JUST LET ME SAY
THAT WE REALLY TRIED.

- I'M SORRY, LESLIE,
BUT THIS IS A BIG ONE.

I'M UNDER
A LOT OF PRESSURE.

I'M GONNA NEED
TO FORMALLY ASK YOU

TO, UH, MOVE THE CARNIVAL.

- I'M SORRY?
WHAT'S GOING ON?

- THE CARNIVAL IS ON THE SITE
OF THE BATTLE OF INDIAN HILL,

WHICH WAS AN EPIC SEVEN-DAY
BATTLE THAT THE WAMAPOKE LOST.

DUE TO THE FACT THAT
THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY WEAPONS.

- DURING THE BATTLE,
93-YEAR-OLD CHIEF WAKOTE

WAS SHOT 102 TIMES
BY THE CAVALRY.

- DID HE DIE?

- [whispers]
YES.

- AND THIS MOMENT
WILL BE COMMEMORATED

FOR THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS

WITH SHOOTING GALLERIES
AND FRIED DOUGH STANDS.

- KEN, I UNDERSTAND.

BUT THIS IS
THE ONLY PLACE IN TOWN

THAT'S BIG ENOUGH
TO HOUSE THE CARNIVAL RIDES.

PLUS, YOU KNOW,
WITH PAWNEE'S HISTORY

IT'S VERY DIFFICULT
TO NOT BE OFFENSIVE.

THIS IS A MAP OF ALL THE
ATROCITIES THE PAWNEE SETTLERS

INFLICTED UPON
THE WAMAPOKE INDIANS.

THE ATROCITIES
ARE IN BLUE.

WE PUT UP
A MEMORIAL PLAQUE,

AND WE HAVE A WAMAPOKE EXHIBIT
IN THE HISTORY TENT.

WE'RE REALLY TRYING.

- I COMPLETELY
UNDERSTAND YOU.

I MEAN, I REALLY DO.

BUT THIS IS
SACRED BURIAL GROUND.

AND I JUST HOPE
THAT THE SOULS OF MY ANCESTORS

DON'T PUT A CURSE
ON THIS FESTIVAL.

THERE ARE TWO THINGS
I KNOW ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE.

THEY LOVE RACHAEL RAY,

AND THEY ARE TERRIFIED
OF CURSES.

- SO, YEAH, SO JUST
BRING IT RIGHT OVER THERE,

AND WE'LL BE GOOD.
THANKS.

- HEY.
- HEY.

- UM, SO SOMEBODY,
I DON'T WANT TO SAY WHO--

IT WAS TOTALLY ME--

GOT SWEETUMS TO DONATE ANOTHER
15 COTTON CANDY MACHINES.

- GREAT. SWEETS!
- YEAH, YEAH. YEAH.

- AW, TAKE THAT, CURSE.
- TAKE THAT, CURSE.

[both imitating gunshots]

- OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!
- RIGHT IN THE CHEST, OH!

- OW, OW, OW!

- BAZOOKA!
- YOU'RE DEAD!

- BAZOOKA!
[both laughing]

THAT WAS FUNNY.
- UGH! GET A ROOM.

- ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY.

UM, SO, GUYS, FOCUS UP.

JOAN CALLAMEZZO IS COMING BY
WITH A CAMERA CREW

FOR AN EXCLUSIVE
LAST-MINUTE WALK-THROUGH

OF THE HARVEST FESTIVAL
BEFORE WE OPEN TOMORROW.

SO EVERYTHING
NEEDS TO BE PERFECT.

JOAN IS ALWAYS
LOOKING FOR A SCANDAL.

SHE'S LIKE
AN EAGLE-EYED TIGER.

- EAGLE-EYED TIGER,
NEW BAND NAME, I CALL IT!

- SO EVERYBODY
GATHER AROUND.

LET'S GRAB HANDS.
- I DON'T HOLD HANDS.

- OKAY, YOU'RE ALL AMAZING,
WONDERFUL PEOPLE.

AND I REALLY WANT YOU
TO HAVE FUN TODAY

AND NOT FOCUS ON THE FACT THAT
IF ONE THING GOES WRONG,

WE'RE ALL GOING
TO LOSE OUR JOBS.

- THAT'S NOT INSPIRING.
- OKAY.

LET'S GO
GET 'EM, EVERYBODY!

ANY CONCERNS,
ADDRESS THEM TO RON.

- YES!
[applause]

- THE ADVANTAGE
OF BEING LESLIE'S BOSS

IS THAT SHE DOES EVERYTHING
HERSELF,

AND THERE ARE
NEVER ANY PROBLEMS.

WHICH MEANS,
FOR THE NEXT WEEK,

I CAN SIT IN A LAWN CHAIR AND
READ THIS BOOK ABOUT OLD BOATS.

EXCUSE ME.
I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.

- HEY, WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO YOU AND THE BIONIC MAN?

- CHRIS?
HE BROKE UP WITH ME.

BUT HE DID IT SO NICELY THAT I
DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE HE DID IT.

- I'VE DONE THAT
TO MULTIPLE MEN.

HOW YOU DOING?
YOU DOING OKAY?

- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING.
IT'S BEEN TOUGH, YEAH.

YEAH, TWO DAYS AGO
I WAS SOBBING

AT A PIZZA BUFFET
AND THEY ASKED ME TO LEAVE.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING AT
SOME DOG ADOPTION WEB SITES.

BOUGHT $700 WORTH OF CANDLES
FROM ANTHROPOLOGIE.

I DID THIS TO MY HAIR.

YOU KNOW, YOUR BASIC,
BOTTOMING-OUT KIND OF STUFF.

- YEAH.

NORMALLY, PEOPLE TELL YOU
TO TALK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS.

I'M GONNA RECOMMEND YOU
BOTTLE THAT NOISE UP.

- THAT'S WHAT
MY MAILMAN SAID.

- MUAH-MUAH-MURDER.

MURDER THE MOST MELONS.

SHAQUILLE SHOWERED SHAME
ON SHAKIRA'S SHEETS.

- HELLO, JOAN.
- HELLO, LESLIE.

LOOKS LIKE A VERY
IMPRESSIVE FESTIVAL.

BUT WE'LL SEE.

WE'LL SEE.

- YOU REMEMBER BEN?
- HI.

- IT'S NICE
TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

- LET'S GET STARTED.
- OKAY.

- NOW, THE FESTIVAL IS SPREAD
THROUGHOUT THE TOWN.

BUT THE CENTERPIECE
IS THE CARNIVAL.

AND OVER HERE IS
INDIANA'S LARGEST CORN MAZE.

- AH.

IS THAT PAWNEE CORN
OR EAGLETON CORN?

- PAWNEE CORN,
AND IT'S ORGANIC.

OVER HERE WE HAVE
OUR BEAUTIFUL FERRIS WHEEL.

- AH, BEAUTIFUL.
BUT DEADLY.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
THIS GIANT WHEEL OF DEATH

WAS INSPECTED?

- ACTUALLY,
TWICE IN THE LAST WEEK.

AND EVERYTHING
IS 100% UP TO CODE.

- HOW MANY OF THESE CARNIES
ARE ILLEGALS?

- NONE.
THEY'RE ALL U.S. CITIZENS.

OVER IN THIS BOOTH, INDIANA
BASKETBALL LEGEND LARRY BIRD'S

84-YEAR-OLD
AUNT TILDA WILL BE

SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS
FOR TWO HOURS ON THURSDAY.

- YOU GOT TILDA?
- YEAH.

- OH.
- WE GOT TILDA.

- BUT THE REAL COUP
IS OVER THERE.

LI'L SEBASTIAN.

- ARE YOU [bleep]
KIDDING ME?

YOU GOT LI'L SEBASTIAN?
- SEE FOR YOURSELF!

- OH, WOW.
HE IS SO ADORABLE.

- THANK YOU, JOAN.

LI'L SEBASTIAN
ISN'T BAD EITHER.

- TOM!
- HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HOLD ON A SECOND.
[squeaking]

DID YOU GET
YOUR BREASTS DONE?

YOU LOOK AMAZING.
- YES, THANKS FOR NOTICING.

- JOAN, LISTEN TO ME.

THIS HARVEST FESTIVAL,
IT'S GONNA KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF.

AND WHEN IT DOES,
I'M GONNA BE THERE

TO GIVE YOU A FOOT MASSAGE...
TO COMPLETION.

[both laughing]
- OKAY!

- GOOD LORD.

- GOD, I SWEAR, IT'S ALMOST
LIKE THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO WIN.

- WELL, YOU'D BETTER PRACTICE.

YOU GOTTA WIN ME A TEDDY BEAR.

- I'M GONNA WIN YOU
A MILLION TEDDY BEARS.

- WELL, I WANT
A BILLION TEDDY BEARS.

- WELL,
THAT'S A LITTLE UNREALISTIC.

THIS IS A HARD GAME.

TWO MILLION.

- DEAL.

- ALL RIGHT.

- HEY, I LOVE YOU.

- DUDE, SHUT UP!
THAT IS AWESOME SAUCE!

- YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY.

- JERRY, STOP BOTHERING
LI'L SEBASTIAN.

LESLIE SAID I SHOULD
WATCH HIM FOR A LITTLE BIT.

- PERFECT, I'VE GOTTA GO
GET HIM A TAIL SCRUNCHIE.

- HI, LI'L SEBASTIAN,
HOW'S IT GOIN'?

"PRETTY GOOD. JUST EATING
SOME HAY, HANGIN' OUT.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"
UH, MY NAME'S TOM.

"OH, YOU'RE REALLY
WELL-DRESSED.

"I LIKE HOW YOU GOT YOUR
T-SHIRT OVER YOUR DRESS SHIRT.

YOU LOOK WAY COOLER
THAN EVERYBODY ELSE HERE."

LI'L SEBASTIAN, COME ON.
YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH.

MOST PEOPLE LOOK
AT LI'L SEBASTIAN

AND THEY SEE
A FAMOUS MINI HORSE.

I SEE AN ADVERTISING
OPPORTUNITY FOR MY CLUB,

THE SNAKEHOLE LOUNGE.

WOW, THAT IS A SHOCKINGLY
HUGE MINI HORSE ERECTION.

[horse grunts]

- I DON'T THINK
I'M BEING UNPROFESSIONAL

WHEN I SAY THAT
I REALLY WAS HOPING

FOR MORE TAWDRY SCANDALS.

- WELL...

- WHAT ABOUT YOUR
FRIEND BEN, HERE?

WE ALL KNOW HIS STORY,
ONE OF FAILURE.

REMIND US
OF THAT FAILURE.

- WELL, UH, YOU KNOW,

WHEN I WAS
AN 18-YEAR-OLD MAYOR,

I TRIED TO BUILD
A WINTER SPORTS COMPLEX

CALLED "ICE TOWN,"
AND IT BANKRUPTED THE CITY.

- YIKES.

- I WAS ALSO SHORTSTOP
ON MY JV BASEBALL TEAM.

NO ONE EVER BRINGS THAT UP.

- AND NOW YOU'RE
INVOLVED WITH THIS.

DO I SMELL ANOTHER
DISASTER, HOPEFULLY?

- LOOK, JOAN,
THIS FESTIVAL,

THANKS TO THE TIRELESS
EFFORTS OF LESLIE KNOPE,

IS GOING TO BRING PEOPLE
NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS.

NOT EVEN I COULD
SCREW THAT UP.

- I'M A REPORTER,
NOT YOUR THERAPIST.

- SO ANYTIME SOMEONE
TAKES A PICTURE OF HIM,

THE SNAKEHOLE'S LOGO
IS IN IT.

AM I A GENIUS OR WHAT?

- HEY, TOM.
WHERE'S LI'L SEBASTIAN?

- UH, SOMEBODY
LEFT THE GATE OPEN

AND HE GOT OUT, JERRY!

- WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

- UNBELIEVABLE.

ANOTHER IN A LONG STRING
OF MISERABLE FAILURES.

YOU LOST LI'L SEBASTIAN!

- I WASN'T EVEN HERE!
- EXACTLY.

HOPEFULLY I CAN GET YOU
OUT OF THIS MESS

THAT YOU
AND NO ONE ELSE CAUSED.

- YOU WERE THE ONE
WATCHING HIM.

- WELL, IT'S A POOR WORKMAN
THAT BLAMES HIS TOOLS.

YOU LOOK FOR HIM.

I'M GONNA GO TELL EVERYONE
WHAT YOU DID.

- HARVEST FESTIVAL STARTS
AT 9:00 A.M. TOMORROW MORNING,

AND AS FAR AS THIS
REPORTER IS CONCERNED,

IT'S WELL WORTH YOUR TIME.

- COME ON DOWN, EVERYONE.
IT'S GONNA BE SWEET.

- IT PAINS ME TO SAY THIS,
BUT GREAT JOB HERE.

- THANK YOU.

THAT WENT WELL.
- YEAH, IT DID.

TAKE THAT, CURSE!
- TAKE THAT, CURSE!

- SORRY, WHAT IS THIS
ABOUT A CURSE?

- HMM?
- CURSE?

- WHAT? WHAT, NOTHING.
- NO.

- DID YOU--
- LESLIE! LESLIE.

IT'S LI'L SEBASTIAN.
HE'S GONE.

JERRY LET HIM ESCAPE
AND WE DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.

- KEEP THOSE CAMERAS UP.
WE'VE GOT A NEW INTRO TO DO.

GOTCHA.

LET'S GO AHEAD,
LET'S GET SOME SHOTS

OF CHIPPED PAINT
AND CRYING BABIES.

HOW ABOUT SOME OF THOSE
SPOOKY TRAFFIC LIGHTS?

OKAY, YOU KNOW THE DRILL.

- IS IT REVENGE
OF THE WAMAPOKE,

AN INCOMPETENT GOVERNMENT
RUN AMOK,

OR PROBABLY SOMETHING EVEN WORSE
THAN ANY OF THOSE THINGS?

WHILE IT SEEMED EVERYTHING
WAS READY FOR TOMORROW,

THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS
EXACTLY AS THEY MAY SEEM.

NAILED IT.

- UH, THIS IS BAD, RIGHT?
- YES, THIS IS BAD.

THIS IS LIKE A POOP TORNADO.
THIS IS LIKE A POOPNADO.

- OKAY, WELL, GROSS,

BUT WE CAN HANDLE A LITTLE
BAD PUBLICITY, LESLIE.

- THIS IS
WAY WORSE THAN THAT.

THIS IS A HUGE
GOVERNMENT PROJECT,

AND IT'S ALREADY
A LIGHTNING ROD.

AND THEN YOU ADD
THE WAMAPOKE CONTROVERSY.

DOUBLE LIGHTNING ROD.

- PLUS WE LOST THAT LITTLE PONY.
- IT'S A MINI HORSE!

AND THAT'S
THE THIRD LIGHTNING ROD.

TRIPLE LIGHTNING ROD!

AND THEN YOU HAVE THE CURSE,
QUADRUPLE LIGHTNING ROD.

THIS IS A CLASSIC
FOUR-ROD DISASTER.

- OH, RIGHT, ONE OF THOSE.

- GOD, NOW ALL
THE VENDORS ARE GONNA BAIL.

AND THE TICKET SALES
ARE GONNA GO DOWN.

- WAIT, I'M SORRY.

BUT DO PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN
REALLY BELIEVE IN CURSES?

- PAWNEE IS AN INCREDIBLY
SUPERSTITIOUS TOWN.

A TRAVELING MAGICIAN
CAME THROUGH ONE TIME,

AND HE PULLED A RABBIT
OUT OF A HAT,

AND THE MOB BURNED HIM
AT THE STAKE FOR BEING A WITCH.

THE YEAR WAS 1973.

- WE ARE REALLY
UP A CREEK HERE.

WHAT THE HECK
ARE WE GONNA DO?

- YOU MEAN,
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

- NO, WHAT ARE DO GONNA YOU?

- WHAT AM DO GONNA I?

THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION,
JERRY.

CAN YOU BELIEVE WE LEFT LI'L
SEBASTIAN WITH THIS GENTLEMAN?

- OKAY, YOU WERE THE ONE
WATCHING HIM.

- WELL, APPARENTLY I'M NOT
GONNA GET ANY WORK DONE.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

- MAYBE LI'L SEBASTIAN GOT UPSET
BECAUSE HE TRIED TO SHARE

HIS TRUE FEELINGS WITH SOMEONE
AND THEY DIDN'T RECIPROCATE.

- THAT'S NOT BAD.

OR MAYBE A BALLOON
POPPED SOMEWHERE,

AND IT SCARED HIM,
SENT HIM RUNNING OFF.

- OKAY. TOM, JERRY, CHECK THE
FIELD BEHIND THE PARKING LOT.

- I DON'T WANT TO GO
WITH JERRY.

HE'S THE ONE
WHO DELIBERATELY CAUSED ME

TO ACCIDENTALLY
LET THE HORSE OUT.

JERRY'S FAULT.

all: JERRY'S FAULT,
JERRY'S FAULT, JERRY'S FAULT!

- STOP IT.
- HANG ON.

ALL OF YOU LISTEN TO ME.

THAT MAGNIFICENT
LITTLE HORSE IS LOST,

AND HE'S PROBABLY SCARED,
AND IT'S OUR FAULT.

TOM, JERRY, YOU GET ALONG.

ANDY, APRIL,
CHECK THE CORN MAZE.

- GOOD IDEA.
HORSES LOVE MAZES, COME ON!

- HEY, LESLIE?

THIS BIG, BEEFY DUDE

JUST CAME
INTO THE FIRST AID TENT

BECAUSE HE WAS DEHYDRATED.

AND THEN A REPORTER CAME IN

AND ASKED IF IT
WAS BECAUSE OF THE CURSE.

- [gasps] NO COMMENT.
DID YOU SAY, "NO COMMENT?"

YOU GOTTA SAY, "NO COMMENT."
- I DID.

- AH, GOOD.
ANN, YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.

BEAUTIFUL ANN.
ALL RIGHT.

WELL, UM,
JUST TREAT HIM AND RELEASE HIM

AND THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING
TO ANYONE ABOUT ANYTHING

FOR THE REST OF THE MONTH.

- OKAY.
- OKAY. RUN, ANN, RUN!

- LESLIE?
- YEAH?

- YOU GOTTA SEE THIS.

- THE FACT IS,
THIS CARNIVAL

IS BEING HELD ON TOP OF
AN ANCIENT WAMAPOKE BURIAL SITE.

- MUCH LIKE THE HOUSE
IN THE MOVIE POLTERGEIST.

- EXACTLY.

I SPOKE TO LESLIE KNOPE
OF THE PARKS DEPARTMENT

ABOUT MOVING THE CARNIVAL,
AND SHE REFUSED.

- WE DO HAVE EXCLUSIVE
ANIMATION OF THAT EVENT.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

- OH, I LOVE THESE THINGS.

SORRY.

- [speaking virtual language]

- [speaking virtual language]

- [chanting]

- [moaning]
- WHOA.

- AAH, AAH, AAH!

- IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED?

- PERD...
- NONE OF THAT HAPPENED.

- THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT HAPPENED.

- HMM.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

WHAT WE DO IS
WE MOVE THE SHOOTING GALLERY.

THAT SEEMS TO BE
THEIR BIGGEST PROBLEM.

MAYBE THAT WILL
MAKE THEM HAPPY.

- CHECK BACK IN
WITH NEWS CHANNEL 4,

NUMBER ONE
IN CURSE COVERAGE.

- YOU KNOW WHERE I WOULD HIDE
IF I WAS A HORSE?

THE MERRY-GO-ROUND.
THINK ABOUT IT!

YOU JUST STAND STILL RIGHT
NEXT TO ALL THE OTHER HORSES,

AND NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW.

IT'S THE PERFECT CRIME.

- OH, MY GOD.
I'M GONNA GO LOOK BY MYSELF.

- HEY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU SEEM SUPER NOT HAPPY.

- I'M FINE.
OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU.

I MIGHT BE GOING
TO VENEZUELA TOMORROW. FOREVER.

- YOU'RE NOT FINE.

LUDGATE, I CAN READ YOU
LIKE THE BACK OF A BOOK.

SOMETHING IS UPSETTING YOU.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AHEAD
AND TELL ME WHAT IT IS?

- I'M NOT UPSET.
- [sighs]

- I'M GREAT. SEE?

- APRIL!

- NO, I'M NOT MAD AT HIM.
HE'S GREAT.

I AWESOME SAUCE ANDY.

- APRIL!

OH, MY GOD.

THIS MAIZE IS LIKE A MAZE.

- LOOK LEFT.
LOOK RIGHT.

YEAH, OKAY.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S SICKER,
ME OR YOUR BODY.

- YOU AREN'T SICK.
- I'M NOT?

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
CHECK OUT MY ABS.

- ARE YOU EXPERIENCING
ABDOMINAL PAIN?

- EVERY DAY AT THE GYM.

- EW.
- FEEL.

- OH.

- WHAT ARE YOU
DOING TONIGHT?

- I'M PREPPING
THE MEDICAL TENT.

- I MEAN, IN TERMS OF US.

- I THINK
I'M GONNA HAVE TO PASS.

- YOUR LOSS.

- ARE YOU GONNA HIT THAT?
- HIM?

HE ISN'T EXACTLY
BOYFRIEND MATERIAL.

- WHO SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT A BOYFRIEND?

USE HIM, ABUSE HIM,
LOSE HIM.

THAT'S THE MEAGLE MOTTO.

GRAMMIE MEAGLE
TAUGHT ME THAT.

SHE DIED AT THE AGE OF 84,

SANDWICHED BETWEEN
TWO 30-YEAR-OLDS.

- YOU GUYS SEE ANYTHING?
- NO.

- HEY, HEY, HEY,
DID YOU FIND HIM?

- YEAH, JERRY.
HE'S RIGHT HERE IN MY POCKET.

- DAMN IT. OKAY, HE CAN'T
HAVE GONE THAT FAR.

HE'S GOT THE LEGS OF TOM,
THE ENDURANCE OF JERRY,

AND THE DISEASES OF JERRY.

GROUND MISSION FAILED.

WE NEED A BIRD'S EYE VIEW.

- YOU WANT ME TO CLIMB
ON TOP OF THE FERRIS WHEEL?

- WE'RE EXTREMELY CONFIDENT
THAT THERE'S NO CURSE

AND EVERYONE'S GONNA HAVE
A GREAT TIME TOMORROW, OKAY?

- WOW, FIRST ICE TOWN,
NOW THIS.

BAD LUCK REALLY
FOLLOWS YOU AROUND, HUH?

- OKAY, I'D LIKE
TO START BY ADDRESSING

SOME OF THE FALSE RUMORS
ABOUT THE FESTIVAL.

FIRST OF ALL,
WE HAVE PLENTY OF FOOD.

THERE'S NO FOOD SHORTAGE.

THERE ARE NOT,
AS ONE REPORTER SUGGESTED,

DOZENS OF ESCAPED CONVICTS

MEANDERING
AROUND THE CARNIVAL.

AND AT NO TIME WAS ANY
PARKS DEPARTMENT WORKER QUOTE,

"FEASTING
ON PETTING ZOO ANIMALS."

- YOU WERE IN CHARGE
OF WATCHING A TINY HORSE

AND YOU FAILED.

- LOOK, I'M ONLY
GONNA SAY THIS ONCE.

WHAT IF LI'L SEBASTIAN
IS ON THIS FERRIS WHEEL?

- HOW ABOUT YOU ONLY
SAY THAT NEVER?

- LESLIE,
HOW BIG OF A DISASTER

WILL THIS BE,
ON A SCALE OF 9 TO 10?

- IT WILL NOT BE A DISASTER.
IT WILL BE A SUCCESS.

AND I WANT
TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT,

IN AN ATTEMPT TO BE SENSITIVE
TO OUR WAMAPOKE FRIENDS,

WE HAVE MOVED THE SHOOTING
GALLERY, PER THEIR REQUEST.

SO, YES, PERD?

- YEAH, THE STATEMENT THAT
THIS REPORTER HAS IS A QUESTION.

WILL THAT BE ENOUGH
TO LIFT THE CURSE?

- PERD, YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO
THAT THERE'S NO SUCH--

- OH, MY GOD.
- MAN.

- CRAP ON A SPATULA.

- IT'S THE CURSE.

THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT IT IS.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT IS THE CURSE.

- WAIT,
EVERYONE RELAX, PLEASE.

WE'LL GET THIS
UP AND RUNNING IN NO TIME.

- OH.
- WHOA!

- JERRY, WHAT THE HELL?

- I DIDN'T DO THIS.

- JERRY'S FAULT.
JERRY'S FAULT.

all: JERRY'S FAULT!
JERRY'S FAULT!

- OH, MY GOD.
I CANNOT CATCH A BREAK.

- YEAH, WELL,
I'LL HELP YOU OUT.

I'M GONNA GO.
- WHAT?

- I THINK I'M JINXED
OR SOMETHING.

- WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

- LOOK, YOU WERE TOTALLY FINE
UNTIL I GOT INVOLVED.

SO I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD
PROBABLY JUST GO, OKAY?

I'M REALLY SORRY.
I'M THE CURSE, I THINK.

SO I'M GONNA--I'M GONNA--

I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE,
ALL RIGHT?

- WHEN THEY'RE MISSING
THIS LONG, THEY'RE USUALLY DEAD.

- WELL, IF THAT'S TRUE,
THEN YOU'RE GONNA

HAVE TO ANSWER
TO THE WHOLE TOWN, AND GOD.

- OKAY, YOU WERE THE ONE
WHO LET HIM OUT, TOM, OKAY?

NOW STOP TRYING TO BLAME ME.

- JERRY,
CAN YOU PLEASE BE QUIET?

I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF
NOT TALKING TO ANDY.

- RON, WILL YOU PLEASE TELL ME
WHY APRIL IS MAD AT ME?

- RON, CAN YOU PLEASE
TELL ANDY--

- ALL OF YOU, BE QUIET!

ANDY, SHE'S MAD BECAUSE
YOU SAID "AWESOME SAUCE"

INSTEAD OF
"I LOVE YOU TOO."

APRIL, HE LOVES YOU.
STOP BEING A CHILD.

TOM, YOU'RE CLEARLY
AT FAULT HERE.

BLAMING JERRY
WON'T SAVE YOU.

JERRY, WE BOTH KNOW YOU WERE
SHOTGUNNING FUNNEL CAKES

INSTEAD OF WATCHING
LI'L SEBASTIAN.

SO EVERYONE APOLOGIZE
TO EVERYONE ELSE!

- I'M SORRY, TOM.
- I'M SORRY, JERRY.

- I'M SORRY.
- I'M SORRY.

- I DO LOVE YOU.

- YOU DO?

- YEAH.

THAT'S WHAT, YOU KNOW,
MAKES THE SAUCE SO AWESOME.

- AW, JERRY JUST FARTED!

- I'M VERY UPSET.
I GET NERVOUS.

- HEY, LESLIE,
THE GENERATOR'S SHOT.

- NO, I GOT THE TMK-2500

SPECIFICALLY
FOR THE EXTRA CAPACITY.

- WOW, YOU KNOW YOUR STUFF.
YOU SINGLE?

- NOT NOW, ED.
HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN?

- ALL THOSE TV CREWS
PLUGGED IN AND OVERLOADED IT.

- YOU KNOW, I KNEW IT.
STUPID MEDIA.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

FREEDOM OF PRESS
IS FOR THE BIRDS.

OKAY, HOW AND WHERE
CAN I GET A NEW ONE

IN, LIKE,
I DON'T KNOW, NOW?

- THERE'S ONLY ONE PLACE
IN TOWN

THAT HAS A GENERATOR
THAT SIZE.

- YOU'VE GOTTA
BE KIDDING ME.

THIS FESTIVAL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
MY LOVE LETTER TO PAWNEE.

NOW IT'S JUST TURNED
INTO A NOTE THAT SAYS,

"I WANT TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE."

- SO, YOU NEED
TO BORROW A GENERATOR.

- KEN, I'M COMING TO YOU
ON MY KNEES, BEGGING FOR HELP,

MUCH LIKE THE EARLY SETTLERS
OF PAWNEE

BEGGED THE WAMAPOKE
200 YEARS AGO.

- AH, BUT THAT WAS--
- A TRICK.

AND OVER 50 WAMAPOKE
WERE SLAUGHTERED, I KNOW.

BUT THIS IS NOT A TRICK.

I AM PREPARED TO PUT
THE WAMAPOKE HISTORY EXHIBIT

INSIDE THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS,

RIGHT PAST
THE ENTRANCE TURNSTILE,

SO THAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT IT
BEFORE YOU START HAVING FUN.

- HMM, NOW
THAT'S INTERESTING.

- IT'S BEEN REALLY AWESOME
LOOKING AT YOU.

MOST CARNIVAL NURSES
ARE TOTAL GRENADES.

- OKAY, YOU'RE ALL SET.
YOU ARE FREE TO GO.

OR YOU COULD STAY HERE
AND MAKE OUT WITH ME

UNTIL THE LIGHTS
COME BACK ON.

- OH, HELL YEAH.

- BEAT IT, DONNA.

- AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

- I'M JUST TRYING TO DO
SOMETHING GOOD FOR THIS TOWN,

AND I'M TRYING
TO SAVE MY FRIENDS' JOBS.

CAN YOU HELP ME OUT HERE?

- A NATIVE AMERICAN TRIBE MAKING
A DEAL WITH THE GOVERNMENT.

HEH, WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

YOU CAN HAVE
THE GENERATOR, LESLIE.

- THANK YOU, KEN.

- AND I'LL ISSUE
A STATEMENT

SAYING THAT
THE CURSE HAS BEEN LIFTED.

- WELL, ACTUALLY,
I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA.

- [singing in Wamapoke]

WITH THAT SACRED CEREMONY,

THE WAMAPOKE CURSE
HAS BEEN LIFTED.

[applause]

- WOW, THANK YOU.
INTENSE STUFF FROM KEN HOTATE.

AND IN OTHER GOOD NEWS,
HE GAVE US A SCARE,

BUT HE'S BACK NOW.

THE ONE, THE ONLY,
LI'L SEBASTIAN!

[cheers and applause]

- WE SPOTTED HIM FROM
THE TOP OF THE FERRIS WHEEL

AT THE CENTER
OF THE CORN MAZE.

AFTER THE POWER CAME BACK ON,
WE WENT AND GOT HIM.

IT TOOK US FOUR HOURS
TO SOLVE THAT MAZE.

IT TOOK THE HORSE
15 MINUTES.

[chuckling]
JERRY'S STILL OUT THERE.

[laughing]

I SUPPOSE I OUGHT
TO GO LOOK FOR HIM.

RIGHT AFTER I GET
A BRATWURST.

- KNOCK, KNOCK.
HEY, HOT LIPS.

I GOT OUT OF HERE
SO FAST LAST NIGHT,

I WASN'T ABLE TO SCOOP
THEM DIGITS OFF OF YOU.

- OH, UM, YEAH. THAT'S BECAUSE
I DIDN'T GIVE THEM TO YOU.

- OH, OKAY. RAGE.

WELL, THEN, UH, MAYBE I'LL
SEE YOU AROUND THE HOSPITAL.

I MEAN,
I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG,

BUT I'M IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM,
LIKE, ALL THE TIME.

- COOL.
- I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

- BOOM.

- HE WAS REALLY SWEET,
THOUGH.

YOU KNOW, I'M JUST GONNA SEE
IF MAYBE HE WANTS TO GRAB SOME--

RIGHT.

- PARK IT.
- FINE.

[Tom Petty and the
Heartbreakers' American Girl]

*

[train whistle blows]

*

- * WELL, SHE WAS
AN AMERICAN GIRL *

- WELCOME.
COME ON IN, HAVE FUN.

ENJOY YOURSELVES, LADIES.

- HEY.
- HEY, LOOK WHO'S BACK.

- I'M SORRY I LEFT.

I HONESTLY FELT LIKE
I WAS CURSED OR SOMETHING.

ICE TOWN, AND NOW THIS.

- ICE TOWN WAS A DISASTER.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE IT
WAS PROBABLY YOUR FAULT.

FROM WHAT I CAN TELL,

YOU MISMANAGED
THE HELL OUT OF IT.

- WOW, WHY EVEN
SAY THAT ALREADY?

- BUT THE POINT IS,
THIS PROJECT,

THIS IS AS MUCH YOURS
AS IT IS MINE.

IT'S OURS.

AND IT'S GONNA
BE REALLY GREAT.

AND I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

- WELL, THANK YOU.

- IS THIS THE GUY?
- YES, THIS IS HIM.

- [coughing]

- SPECIAL WAMAPOKE CEREMONY.

- [coughing]

- THE CURSE HAS BEEN LIFTED.
- OH, WOW. THANKS.

- YEAH. OH, GOSH.
YOU'RE FILTHY.

GO CLEAN YOURSELF UP.
TRY TO LOOK PROFESSIONAL.

- [coughing]

- HELLO.

ENJOY YOURSELF.

HI. I LIKE YOUR NECKLACE.

HI.

*

Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com

- MY GOD.
HE IS JUST THE BEST EVER.

- YOU'RE THE BEST EVER.

BUT HE'S A CLOSE SECOND,
AREN'T YOU, LI'L SEBASTIAN?

- HE REALLY IS AMAZING.

- YOU FINALLY
GET IT NOW, RIGHT?

- HELLO! HE'S FANTASTIC.

I TOTALLY GET IT NOW.

I DON'T GET IT.
AT ALL.

IT'S KIND OF A SMALL HORSE.

I MEAN, WHAT AM I MISSING?
AM I CRAZY?

[all cheering]

- BEN! BEN, YOU JUST MISSED IT.
HE WHINNIED.

- OH, YEAH, NO, I TOTALLY
HEARD THAT. IT WAS GREAT.