Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:03,803
- ♪ MTV ♪
2
00:00:07,307 --> 00:00:08,843
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,812
[rock music]
4
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:16,784
♪ ♪
5
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:23,390
♪ ♪
6
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,225
- [chuckling]
7
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:27,093
We have beers.
8
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,662
We're gonna party.
9
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,130
- Yeah.
[both chuckling]
10
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:33,033
It's gonna be cool.
[chuckles]
11
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,135
- Whoa.
Beavis, check it out.
12
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,170
- Eviction notice.
- It's our landlord.
13
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,673
Maybe she heard
about our party. [chuckles]
14
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,075
- Yeah, it's about time
she lightened up a little.
15
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:43,477
[chuckles]
Yeah.
16
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,045
- Uh...
17
00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:46,313
hey, baby.
18
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,215
[chuckles]
- Cut the shit.
19
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:49,649
You have 30 days
to pay the rent,
20
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,118
or I'm gonna come
back here and throw
21
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,620
your fat ass out the door.
22
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:55,389
- Yeah, if his ass
even fits out the door.
23
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,491
[both laughing]
24
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,560
- Ah.
25
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,328
- This sucks, Butt-Head.
26
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:02,996
They're gonna throw us
out of our apartment
27
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,232
if your fat ass
fits out the door.
28
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,299
[chuckles]
29
00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:08,435
- Wait a second, Beavis.
30
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:11,138
That gives me an idea.
[chuckles]
31
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,207
- Yeah, we could, like,
work and make some money
32
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,209
so that we can pay
the rent--aah!
33
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,078
- No, dumbass.
34
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:20,481
What if, what if, Beavis,
35
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:23,884
what if my fat ass
doesn't fit out the door?
36
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,585
[chuckles]
37
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:30,156
What if I get so fat,
I can't fit through the door,
38
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:34,261
not my ass, not any part of me,
not even my fat face?
39
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:37,631
Then we can stay here forever.
[chuckles]
40
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,065
- I don't know, Butt-Head.
41
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:40,901
That's really fat.
42
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,170
- It will be a great
challenge, Beavis.
43
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,040
But I know I have it in me.
44
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:48,108
- You said "in me."
45
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:51,178
[both chuckling]
46
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:52,846
- Ice.
47
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,284
Let's get some fruits
in this bad boy.
48
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,019
- "Let's get some fruits
in this bad boy."
49
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,154
[both chuckling]
50
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,589
- Fruit sucks.
51
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:03,957
- Rum!
52
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,426
- He's like, um,
53
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:07,561
"Well, this rum should kill
the taste of the fruit."
54
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,329
[chuckles]
55
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,897
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
56
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,366
If he didn't put
that fruit in there,
57
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:14,301
he wouldn't need any rum.
58
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:15,602
[chuckles]
- Uh, yeah, he would, yeah.
59
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:18,005
[chuckles]
- Uh, oh, yeah.
60
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:20,240
[chuckles]
- Uh, why's he doing this?
61
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,776
What is this?
- Uh...
62
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,610
I think this is for, like,
a five-year-old's
63
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,579
birthday party
or something.
64
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,481
And the theme is alcoholism.
65
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,817
[chuckles]
- Yeah. [chuckles]
66
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,318
- And then the piñata
is just gonna be, like,
67
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:34,455
a drunk guy
passed out on the sidewalk.
68
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:36,122
[chuckles]
69
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,524
- Whoa. [chuckles]
70
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,927
That's gonna be a good
five-year-old birthday party
71
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,295
right there.
72
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:42,963
- And then they'll have, like,
73
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,364
a bouncy homeless shelter.
74
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:47,234
[chuckles]
75
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:50,037
- You know, Butt-Head, um,
all kidding aside,
76
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,039
I just want to say, um,
you know,
77
00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:55,275
underage drinking
is a real problem, you know?
78
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,943
- Exactly, Beavis.
79
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,646
That's an important message.
80
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:01,081
But the sad truth is,
most young kids these days
81
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:03,851
aren't cool enough
to underage drink.
82
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:05,619
[chuckles]
83
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,856
- Yeah. [chuckles]
Yeah, stick to milk, losers.
84
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,090
[both chuckling]
85
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:11,658
- Let's save the wine for last,
86
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:12,926
OK, 'cause it's a special...
87
00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,561
- You know, um--
you know, it's cool
88
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:17,231
that this guy is, like,
making drinking fun again,
89
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:18,565
you know, 'cause, um--
90
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:19,933
'cause usually
I just think of it
91
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,701
as something that I have to do,
you know?
92
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,204
[chuckles]
93
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,671
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
94
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:28,141
- Yeah, you know, it's like,
"Eh, I don't want the shakes.
95
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,511
Got to do this again.
Oh, boy."
96
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,813
[chuckles]
- Yeah. [chuckles]
97
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:36,183
I drank, like, the first
six beers because I have to.
98
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,252
And then the rest is for me.
99
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:39,720
[both chuckling]
100
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:42,956
- Yeah, it's about 12 for me.
101
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,658
[chuckles]
102
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,028
- Box wine!
- [chuckles]
103
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:51,265
This video cost him
custody of his children.
104
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:55,902
[both chuckling]
105
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:59,673
It's like, how did I know
when I hit rock bottom?
106
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,975
Well, I have a video of it.
107
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,578
Here it is.
[both chuckling]
108
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:06,813
- Oh, yeah.
[chuckles]
109
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,983
- Rock bottom is cool.
[chuckles]
110
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,184
- Yeah, yeah.
111
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,486
Yeah, I want to hit
rock bottom, yeah.
112
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:13,653
[chuckles]
113
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,090
I feel like I'm close.
[chuckles]
114
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,724
- Oh, you will, Beavis.
115
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,194
I have faith in you.
[chuckles]
116
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,495
Uh...
117
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,663
are you drunk right now?
118
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:23,830
[chuckles]
119
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,999
- Well, um, well,
my head doesn't hurt,
120
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,669
so, um, I guess so, yeah.
121
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:29,836
[chuckles]
122
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:33,340
- Cool.
[both chuckling]
123
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:35,743
- Life is good, yeah.
[chuckles]
124
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,578
- I appreciate that.
Later!
125
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,079
- [grunts]
126
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:41,748
There you go.
127
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,417
30 days to make you so fat,
128
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:45,152
you can't fit out the door.
129
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:46,286
[chuckles]
130
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,921
- And so it begins.
131
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:49,156
[chuckles]
132
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:51,958
[knuckles crack]
It's hero time.
133
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,593
[chomping]
134
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:54,995
- You can do it, Butt-Head.
135
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,163
I believe in you.
136
00:04:56,197 --> 00:04:58,032
- Oh, yeah.
[chuckles]
137
00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:00,501
- Huh.
Now I'm a little hungry.
138
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,670
[chuckles]
139
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,504
- No, Beavis.
[chuckles]
140
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:07,574
This is all for me.
[chuckles]
141
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,510
- But, um, I just, like, um--
142
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,812
I haven't had lunch yet
'cause I was, um--
143
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:14,347
I was buying hot dogs
and putting them in a bag.
144
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:15,482
[chuckles]
145
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:17,551
- Beavis, if I don't eat
all this food,
146
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,686
I won't get fat enough.
147
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,823
Do you want us to get evicted?
[chuckles]
148
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:25,059
- No, but, um, just 'cause
you need to get fat
149
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,326
doesn't mean I can't eat.
150
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:28,162
- Yes, it does.
151
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:31,265
Every bite of food you eat
is one less ounce of fat
152
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,733
jamming me in the doorway.
[chuckles]
153
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,170
- Eh, I guess that's true,
but--
154
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:37,905
- I'm eating
for two now, Beavis.
155
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,974
[chuckles]
156
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,077
And you're eating for zero.
157
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:45,512
[chuckles]
158
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:49,150
[heroic music]
159
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,385
♪ ♪
160
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,488
[chuckling]
161
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,290
♪ ♪
162
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,693
[snoring]
163
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,562
[chuckles]
164
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:04,198
♪ ♪
165
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:07,401
[gagging]
166
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,402
♪ ♪
167
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:13,874
[groaning]
168
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:16,309
I can't do it, Beavis.
[exhales heavily]
169
00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:17,978
I'm full.
170
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,146
- [grunts]
171
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,648
You're full
when I say you're full!
172
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:24,651
- [sighs]
173
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:28,455
[sobbing]
174
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,625
The landlord's gonna come
evict us tomorrow, Butt-Head.
175
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,393
- [chuckles]
176
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:36,463
Look how fat I am.
[chuckles]
177
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,431
I'm never gonna fit.
178
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:40,500
[chuckles]
179
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,802
- Eh, yeah, that's cool, yeah.
180
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,038
Kick-ass, yeah.
[chuckles]
181
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:47,675
But, um, so I was thinking,
since you're, like,
182
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:51,244
so fat now, maybe I could
eat a little bit of your food?
183
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,379
[chuckles]
184
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:53,747
- Damn it, Beavis,
185
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,715
what if tomorrow I don't
get a big enough breakfast
186
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:57,251
and I lose weight?
187
00:06:57,284 --> 00:07:00,020
Then that sheriff will
put us out on the street.
188
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,155
[chuckles]
- Uh, I know,
189
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,290
but I'm, like, really hungry.
190
00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:05,826
I've been living off crumbs
I find on the ground.
191
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:08,061
[chuckles]
- God damn it, Beavis,
192
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,663
those crumbs are for me.
193
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:12,900
[groaning]
194
00:07:12,967 --> 00:07:14,268
[breathing heavily]
195
00:07:14,368 --> 00:07:16,570
- Oh, yeah. Sorry.
[chuckles]
196
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,138
- Now, I'm going to bed.
197
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,073
[groans]
198
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,276
You better not
touch my breakfast.
199
00:07:22,343 --> 00:07:24,945
[groaning, belly sloshing]
200
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,814
[grunts]
201
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:30,951
[chuckling]
[engine whirring]
202
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,756
[suspenseful music]
203
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,557
♪ ♪
204
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:42,363
[suspenseful music]
205
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:43,363
[engine whirring]
206
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,497
- Hey, Beavis.
207
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,700
Get up and help me
eat my breakfast.
208
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:49,169
We got to--what the hell?
209
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,438
- Huh?
210
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:52,939
Where did the food go?
211
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,642
No one knows who ate it.
Yeah. [chuckles]
212
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:58,946
- Beavis, you backstabbing
son of a bitch.
213
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,514
I better not fit
through that door.
214
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:03,750
[chuckles]
215
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:07,021
[groans, grunts]
216
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,990
Damn it.
Nice job, butthole.
217
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:12,426
I'm not fat enough.
[chuckles]
218
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:14,161
- Oh, no.
[chuckles]
219
00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:16,863
It's the landlord
with her cowboy friend.
220
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,265
- Damn it, Beavis.
221
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,201
And now we're out of food
'cause you ate my nachos.
222
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:23,270
[chuckles]
- Wait a second.
223
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,005
What about that case of beer
you were saving
224
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,974
so you could party
with the landlord?
225
00:08:27,041 --> 00:08:29,409
[exciting music]
226
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:31,111
- [gulping]
227
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,147
[sighs]
Keep 'em coming.
228
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:35,649
♪ ♪
229
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:37,317
[gulping]
230
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:39,186
- Come on.
Keep drinking beer, Butt-Head.
231
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:40,454
It's our only hope.
232
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:42,956
♪ ♪
233
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,892
Shotgun it, Butt-Head.
There's no time.
234
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,528
- [coughs]
235
00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:51,698
♪ ♪
236
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,267
[pounding on door]
237
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:54,601
[groans]
238
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:57,037
Open the door, Beavis.
[chuckles]
239
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,772
We have nothing to fear.
240
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,540
[can clatters]
[chuckles]
241
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:03,477
- Hey, how's it going?
[chuckles]
242
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,079
- Your 30 days is up.
243
00:09:05,146 --> 00:09:06,747
You're out of here.
244
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:09,416
- Oh, am I?
[chuckles]
245
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:12,419
[both grunting]
Good luck, buttholes.
246
00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:15,556
[both grunting]
247
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,157
[wood creaking]
248
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,827
- Come on, push.
249
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,595
Try turning him sideways.
250
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,663
- Go ahead.
[chuckles]
251
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:26,533
Be my guest.
[chuckles]
252
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:28,969
Care to try me upside down?
[chuckles]
253
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:32,005
[both grunting]
254
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,239
[both sigh]
255
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:36,143
If the butt doesn't fit,
you can't evict.
256
00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:39,379
[chuckles]
257
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:41,982
- We did it, Butt-Head.
You didn't fit.
258
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,350
[chuckles]
259
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,252
- Beavis, this is
the greatest thing
260
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,653
anyone has ever accomplished.
261
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:47,821
[chuckles]
262
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,256
[saw buzzing]
263
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:52,459
- Um, what's that noise,
Butt-Head?
264
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,327
[saw buzzing]
265
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,329
[wall crashes]
266
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,332
- There he is.
267
00:09:58,399 --> 00:10:00,000
- I'm putting the strap on him!
268
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,835
- [chuckles]
269
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,671
He said "strap on."
270
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,038
[chuckles]
271
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,140
Whoa!
272
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,009
[crane creaking]
273
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,345
[chuckles]
274
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:12,946
We failed.
275
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,414
[chuckles]
276
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:16,483
- Yeah. [chuckles]
277
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,752
[both chuckling]
278
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:20,754
[rock music]
279
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:24,357
- ♪ Swipe right ♪
- ♪ With David Van Driessen ♪
280
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:27,795
- ♪ All night ♪
- ♪ With David Van Driessen ♪
281
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,129
- ♪ Hold tight ♪
282
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:30,931
- ♪ 'Cause
David Van Driessen's ♪
283
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,232
♪ Gonna make things
out of sight ♪
284
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,001
- "Swipe Right
with David Van Driessen":
285
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,269
the dating adventures
of Highland's
286
00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:38,139
most eligible vegan bachelor.
287
00:10:38,172 --> 00:10:41,208
[silverware clinking]
288
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,981
- This tofu is really--
289
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:48,649
- I'm gonna go
to the bathroom.
290
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,284
- Oh, yeah.
291
00:10:50,351 --> 00:10:52,319
Mention my name.
You'll get a good seat.
292
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,087
[chuckles]
- Uh-huh.
293
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:59,226
[door clicks open and shut,
bell jingles]
294
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,806
[engine turning over]
295
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:16,743
[engine revving]
296
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:20,180
- ♪ Swipe right with
David Van Driessen tonight ♪
297
00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:25,452
[both chuckling]
298
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,388
[rock music]
299
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:33,928
♪ ♪
300
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:40,367
♪ ♪
301
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,004
[bird cawing]
302
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:49,776
- Eh, this place sucks.
303
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,411
We should go somewhere else.
304
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:55,716
- Uh, every other place
sucks too.
305
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:58,686
- Yeah, that's true, yeah.
[chuckles]
306
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:01,688
[device beeping]
307
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:02,956
Oh, check it out.
308
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,225
It's that old butthole.
[chuckles]
309
00:12:05,259 --> 00:12:07,561
- Hey, old butthole.
310
00:12:07,628 --> 00:12:09,430
What are you doing?
[chuckles]
311
00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:11,231
- What was that, boys?
312
00:12:11,265 --> 00:12:13,433
Sorry, I'm just looking
for buried treasure
313
00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:16,136
with my old metal detector.
[chuckles]
314
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:19,840
So far, I found
63¢ in change,
315
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,676
an old belt buckle,
and a doorknob
316
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:26,914
that'll be good as new once
I polish the rust off of it.
317
00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:29,483
- So are you gonna, like,
polish your knob?
318
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,618
[both chuckling]
319
00:12:31,719 --> 00:12:34,755
- Why, yes, I am gonna
polish my knob.
320
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:38,359
I'm gonna polish it up
real good, I'll tell you what.
321
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,460
[both chuckling]
322
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:44,198
Now, ordinarily I'd ask my wife
to polish it for me.
323
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,734
[both chuckling]
324
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,969
Well, she wouldn't mind
doing it.
325
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:51,572
It's the sort of work
she enjoys.
326
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:54,842
[both chuckling]
- I bet she does.
327
00:12:54,909 --> 00:12:56,610
- But in this case,
I think it'll feel
328
00:12:56,710 --> 00:13:00,414
especially satisfying
to polish my own knob.
329
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,516
Do you know
what I'm talking about, boys?
330
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:04,585
- I do, yeah.
Yeah, I sure do, yeah.
331
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,787
[chuckles]
- He really does, sir.
332
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:10,057
Beavis spanks it 24-7.
[chuckles]
333
00:13:10,124 --> 00:13:12,159
- You boys mind
watching my stuff while
334
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,961
I get a cold one?
335
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:16,630
I'm just worried
about those two bad kids
336
00:13:16,664 --> 00:13:20,801
who live around here,
Blovis and Bustamante.
337
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,469
- Bustamante.
[chuckles]
338
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:25,172
- Well, thank you kindly.
339
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,741
- Is that old guy gonna
go spank his monkey now?
340
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,311
- Of course he is.
That's all he can talk about.
341
00:13:30,411 --> 00:13:32,346
Come on, let's find
some treasure with this thing
342
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:36,116
before he finishes spanking
his monkey and comes back.
343
00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:37,818
- Well, we better hurry,
'cause, um,
344
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,687
he seemed
really excited about it,
345
00:13:39,787 --> 00:13:41,522
so he probably won't take
too long, you know?
346
00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:42,689
[chuckles]
347
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,025
- Well, hello there,
friends!
348
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:48,195
Without a shadow of a doubt,
one of the first vegetables
349
00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:49,863
I fell in love with.
350
00:13:49,964 --> 00:13:52,533
- Whoa, he fell in love
with vegetables?
351
00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:53,700
[chuckles]
352
00:13:53,801 --> 00:13:55,235
- Creamed spinach...
353
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:56,803
- Yeah...[chuckles]
354
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:57,905
He was like,
355
00:13:57,972 --> 00:13:59,340
"You know, like everybody,
you know,
356
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,207
"I did it with a lot
of cabbages, you know.
357
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,210
But then when I met
the spinach, ooh."
358
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:04,744
[both chuckling]
359
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,247
- "But when I met-a
the spinach,
360
00:14:06,347 --> 00:14:08,215
"my heart go boing,
boing, le boing,
361
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:09,950
b-b-boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing."
362
00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,885
[both chuckling]
363
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:13,387
What's this guy making?
364
00:14:13,487 --> 00:14:16,323
- He's making a dish
called spinach and water.
365
00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:17,758
[chuckles]
366
00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:20,360
It sucks.
[chuckles]
367
00:14:20,394 --> 00:14:22,896
- Uh, wait a minute.
Is spinach real?
368
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:24,432
I thought it was that stuff
in the cartoon
369
00:14:24,498 --> 00:14:26,767
that makes Popeye's
right arm really huge.
370
00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:28,202
[chuckles]
371
00:14:28,269 --> 00:14:29,570
- Well, that's
what they tell you.
372
00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:31,205
But it's something else
that makes Popeye's
373
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,374
right arm really huge, Beavis.
374
00:14:33,474 --> 00:14:35,008
[both chuckling]
375
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,309
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
376
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,646
- You know Popeye
spanks his monkey a lot
377
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:41,215
'cause his girlfriend's
name is Olive Oyl.
378
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,383
[both chuckling]
379
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:44,752
- "Your name
is-a the same thing
380
00:14:44,852 --> 00:14:46,754
that I put on my wiener."
[chuckles]
381
00:14:46,854 --> 00:14:48,289
"I love you."
[chuckles]
382
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:52,827
- We have beautiful, beautiful
green spinach, you see?
383
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:55,062
- This guy would never
make it at Burger World.
384
00:14:55,129 --> 00:14:56,997
[chuckles]
He'd be like,
385
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:59,333
"Would you like a side
of-a spinach with the spinach?
386
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,334
"For $1 extra, I give you
some more spinach.
387
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,536
A-thank you. Drive through."
388
00:15:02,603 --> 00:15:04,004
[chuckles]
- "We have a new menu item."
389
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,873
It's called a spinach,
a spinach, a spinach, yes."
390
00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:06,940
[chuckles]
391
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:09,309
- "What, you want-a french fry?
No way."
392
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,644
- "I don't make-a french fry."
393
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,779
"I'm French.
I make-a spinach.
394
00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:14,714
"OK, I read your order
back to you.
395
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,450
"A spinach, a spinach,
a spinach,
396
00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:18,518
and a spinach à la spinach,"
yeah.
397
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,254
[both chuckling]
398
00:15:20,321 --> 00:15:23,056
- And then we're gonna
put the cheese.
399
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:25,860
- He's just, like, gonna
keep adding cheese and cheese
400
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,328
and butter and cream
until he kills off
401
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,931
the taste of spinach.
[chuckles]
402
00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,933
- Why is he even
putting spinach in it?
403
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,768
[chuckles]
404
00:15:34,835 --> 00:15:38,038
- Uh, because
he's in love with spinach.
405
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:39,306
[chuckles]
406
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,208
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
[chuckles]
407
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,709
- Add bacon bits to it.
408
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,745
I mean, you can do so many
things with this, friends, huh?
409
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,146
- "I don't care.
410
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,181
"Sometimes I throw
the bacon bits in the spinach.
411
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:48,281
"I throw the dirt
in the spinach.
412
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:49,483
"I throw the spinach
in the trash can.
413
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,251
I don't care!
I'm crazy!"
414
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:52,553
[chuckles]
415
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:54,555
"I miss you so much, spinach."
[chuckles]
416
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,089
"I want to score
with you again!"
417
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,491
[chuckles]
418
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:58,692
"Why you leave me, spinach?"
419
00:15:58,759 --> 00:16:00,494
[both chuckling]
420
00:16:00,594 --> 00:16:02,229
- I'm not gonna eat
all this, see?
421
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:03,564
'Cause this is
a little too much...
422
00:16:03,664 --> 00:16:05,066
- "Yeah, I'm not gonna eat
all this, see?
423
00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:07,301
I'm gonna go spank
my monkey to it, yeah."
424
00:16:07,368 --> 00:16:10,270
[both chuckling]
425
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:13,039
- Now let's find
some treasures, butthole.
426
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,876
When I find metal,
you dig it up with the shovel.
427
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:17,010
[chuckles]
428
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,979
[detector beeps]
- Metal.
429
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:24,785
Um, it's one of those things
with numbers on it.
430
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:28,855
- Numbers suck.
[chuckles]
431
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:31,292
[detector beeps]
- Metal.
432
00:16:31,359 --> 00:16:33,827
Whoa!
[chuckles]
433
00:16:33,894 --> 00:16:36,563
- Uh, this money is old.
434
00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:38,966
We need, like, new money.
[chuckles]
435
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,067
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
[chuckles]
436
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,637
Uh, Butt-Head, do you think
it can detect your braces?
437
00:16:43,704 --> 00:16:46,173
They're metal.
- Uh...
438
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:48,275
let's see.
[chuckles]
439
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,643
[detector beeps]
- Metal.
440
00:16:50,845 --> 00:16:52,746
- Damn it, what'd you
do that for, dumbass?
441
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,214
- Uh, it beeped.
442
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,116
I thought there was treasure
in your mouth or something.
443
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,351
Yeah. [chuckles]
444
00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:59,119
- If you try to dig
for treasure in my mouth
445
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:01,455
one more time,
I'm gonna kick your ass.
446
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,890
- Yeah, sorry, sorry.
[chuckles]
447
00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:04,858
My bad, yeah.
[chuckles]
448
00:17:04,925 --> 00:17:07,962
- We got to detect
some goddamn metal treasure
449
00:17:08,062 --> 00:17:09,429
around here somewhere.
450
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,430
[chuckles]
451
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,833
[detector beeps]
- Metal.
452
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:13,901
- Whoa.
453
00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:15,402
There must be treasure in here.
454
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:16,970
[both chuckling]
455
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,005
Let's see here.
456
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:20,307
[detector beeps]
- Metal.
457
00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:22,743
Whoa, cool.
[chuckles]
458
00:17:22,843 --> 00:17:24,979
- Now we're getting somewhere.
[chuckles]
459
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:28,249
[detector beeps]
- Metal.
460
00:17:28,282 --> 00:17:30,050
- You're supposed to dig,
dumbass,
461
00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:32,753
not just hit it with a shovel.
[chuckles]
462
00:17:32,853 --> 00:17:34,855
- Well, you can't dig
a chair, Butt-Head.
463
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:38,559
- Uh, oh, yeah.
[chuckles]
464
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,660
[detector beeps]
- Metal.
465
00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:44,865
See, there's more metal now
than before I hit it.
466
00:17:44,932 --> 00:17:46,066
[chuckles]
467
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:49,336
- Uh, that metal's
all dirty and stuff.
468
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,338
It's got to be shiny
to be treasure.
469
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,507
[chuckles]
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
470
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,076
Yeah, it's got to be shiny,
yeah. [chuckles]
471
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:59,880
[both chuckling]
472
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,181
[detector beeps]
Metal.
473
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:06,487
- Now look what you did,
dumbass. [chuckles]
474
00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,489
- Well, maybe there's some
treasure in the window.
475
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:09,723
Yeah. [chuckles]
476
00:18:09,790 --> 00:18:12,159
- Uh, oh, yeah.
477
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,327
[detector beeps]
478
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:14,862
[glass shatters]
479
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:17,031
- I heard a beep.
[chuckles]
480
00:18:17,131 --> 00:18:19,232
- Well, we better get in there.
481
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:22,903
- You said "in there."
[chuckling]
482
00:18:22,970 --> 00:18:24,672
- [grunts]
483
00:18:24,738 --> 00:18:28,075
- No, sir, there's nothing
like a cold one and a hobby,
484
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:31,378
I tell you what.
- [grunting]
485
00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:32,479
[glass shattering]
486
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,484
- [grunts]
I don't know, Butt-Head.
487
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,320
Do you think there's
treasure in here?
488
00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:41,421
It looks like someone's
house or something.
489
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,590
- Well, there's only
one way to find out:
490
00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:46,293
with this metal detector.
[chuckles]
491
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:47,594
[detector beeps]
492
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:49,663
[detector beeps]
493
00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:52,065
[chuckles]
[detector beeps]
494
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,767
- Maybe there's treasure
in here.
495
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,536
[detector beeps]
496
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:57,204
Got to stick with it, Beavis.
497
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,139
[detector beeps]
498
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,108
- Yep, that's right.
499
00:19:01,175 --> 00:19:03,310
No substitute for hard work.
500
00:19:05,346 --> 00:19:07,614
- Uh, hmm.
501
00:19:07,681 --> 00:19:09,182
I don't think there's any--
502
00:19:13,187 --> 00:19:15,456
Uh, what'd you do that for?
503
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,324
It didn't beep.
[chuckles]
504
00:19:17,391 --> 00:19:19,226
- Eh, you can't be
too sure, you know?
505
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,361
[chuckles]
506
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:21,461
[detector beeps]
507
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:22,696
[items clatter]
[detector beeps]
508
00:19:22,796 --> 00:19:24,365
[glass shatters]
509
00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,033
[detector beeps]
510
00:19:26,099 --> 00:19:27,668
[detector beeps]
511
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,169
[detector beeps]
512
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,339
- This thing doesn't work.
[chuckles]
513
00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:33,707
- Yeah, it sucks.
514
00:19:33,807 --> 00:19:36,176
There was no treasure,
and we didn't get rich.
515
00:19:38,111 --> 00:19:40,480
- What in the hell?
What happened to my lawn chair?
516
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:42,550
- Whoa, that old guy
is coming over here.
517
00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:44,485
[chuckles]
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
518
00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:46,119
Yeah, we better go
before he comes in here
519
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,589
and starts spanking his monkey
all over the place.
520
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:51,592
- If I find out that Blovis
and Bustamante
521
00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:55,362
had something to do with this,
I swear to God--
522
00:19:55,463 --> 00:19:56,830
oh!
523
00:19:56,864 --> 00:19:59,466
What the hell happened
to my house?
524
00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:01,168
Good God Almighty!
525
00:20:01,202 --> 00:20:03,170
- I can hear him spanking
his monkey already.
526
00:20:03,237 --> 00:20:04,938
- Oh, God.
527
00:20:05,005 --> 00:20:06,974
- Really getting into it.
- My commemorative plates.
528
00:20:07,007 --> 00:20:09,142
Ah-ah!
- Come up for air. [chuckles]
529
00:20:09,176 --> 00:20:10,610
- I'm gonna kill somebody
over this!
530
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:13,113
- Jesus Christ.
[both chuckling]
531
00:20:13,180 --> 00:20:15,816
- Yep, that guy
is a real pervert.
532
00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:16,950
[chuckles]
533
00:20:17,017 --> 00:20:19,186
- Good God, it's everywhere.
534
00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:20,421
Damn it!
535
00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:22,556
Marcie, where's my gun?
536
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:29,196
[rock music]
537
00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:36,303
♪ ♪
538
00:20:48,449 --> 00:20:50,317
[chiming noises]
539
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,518
- Chirp.
36402
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof