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1
00:02:20,594 --> 00:02:23,161
Ah, the last day of the school year
2
00:02:23,162 --> 00:02:28,829
Today is the day we seniors celebrate
graduation and move on with our lives
3
00:02:28,830 --> 00:02:35,696
It's also the day the entire campus takes part
in the annual 24 hour party starting at 6 AM
4
00:02:35,732 --> 00:02:37,898
I love it here at college
5
00:02:37,899 --> 00:02:40,099
That's me and my twin brother Evan
6
00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:44,766
Evan and I are part of a fraternity and
not just any fraternity - Iota Gamma Chi
7
00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:48,597
By far the wildest fraternity on campus
8
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,702
We're celebrating the last day
in true academic form
9
00:02:52,703 --> 00:02:55,769
Starting off with a traditional
6 AM pajama party
10
00:02:55,770 --> 00:02:57,737
Then a pig roast in the afternoon
11
00:02:57,738 --> 00:03:01,534
If we aren't passed out yet
we'll go take a couple final exams
12
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:06,664
Tonight we'll activate the pledges
and throw one last kick ass party
13
00:03:06,807 --> 00:03:09,535
Sounds great huh
14
00:03:09,674 --> 00:03:12,640
My brother and I
are so fucking depressed
15
00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:15,108
We've been dreading this day for 4 years
16
00:03:15,109 --> 00:03:17,472
We don't want to graduate
17
00:03:17,609 --> 00:03:22,303
This is officially the worst day
of our entire lives
18
00:04:42,832 --> 00:04:44,964
Where the fuck is Jake and Evan
19
00:04:44,965 --> 00:04:46,131
I think they're sleeping
20
00:04:46,132 --> 00:04:50,292
Sleeping? It's 6 AM, time to party
21
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,166
Yeah! Let's go get 'em
22
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,500
Wake up bitches
23
00:04:55,501 --> 00:04:57,701
Get drunk, let's get drunk
24
00:04:57,702 --> 00:04:59,568
Wake up bitches
25
00:04:59,569 --> 00:05:02,467
Whoo, yeah, party
26
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:06,503
Hey, you guys this is the
final day of the college year
27
00:05:06,504 --> 00:05:08,803
Also known as the
last day of college partying
28
00:05:08,804 --> 00:05:12,971
Make the most of it; honestly this time next year
you're going to wish you were back in college
29
00:05:12,972 --> 00:05:15,939
Party, yeah
The girls are here
30
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,172
No kidding, where the hell have you been
31
00:05:18,173 --> 00:05:19,573
I just woke up
32
00:05:19,574 --> 00:05:22,074
Scooter, you might
make it to first base today
33
00:05:22,075 --> 00:05:24,775
That's very funny Keggar, you know,
just kick me while I'm down.
34
00:05:24,776 --> 00:05:25,908
Today is your day Scooter
35
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:28,342
I need to get laid;
I have never gotten laid
36
00:05:28,343 --> 00:05:30,409
I know
37
00:05:30,410 --> 00:05:33,433
Come get some; let's get drunk
38
00:05:33,444 --> 00:05:37,010
Hey honestly, this is your last day of
college partying for the rest of your lives.
39
00:05:37,011 --> 00:05:38,977
Make the most of it
40
00:05:45,048 --> 00:05:49,537
Hello, hey dad.
41
00:05:49,815 --> 00:05:50,681
What
42
00:05:50,682 --> 00:05:54,479
No, some of the guys downstairs
are just playing some music
43
00:05:54,916 --> 00:05:56,473
Drinking
44
00:06:01,618 --> 00:06:03,880
No, it's only 6 AM dad
45
00:06:04,753 --> 00:06:11,380
Yeah, you know I just don't know if Evan
and I want to go into the banking business
46
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:12,954
Yes Sir
47
00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:14,886
No, sir
48
00:06:15,489 --> 00:06:18,285
O.K., we'll see you and
Mom early tomorrow then
49
00:06:18,590 --> 00:06:20,851
Alright, sir
50
00:06:51,397 --> 00:06:54,420
Jake, Evan, want some beerios
51
00:06:54,599 --> 00:06:56,530
I'll take some beerios
Alright
52
00:06:56,665 --> 00:06:58,966
No, no, no beerios; come dance with us
53
00:06:58,967 --> 00:07:02,433
Hey Brandon, you
got some beers for us man
54
00:07:02,434 --> 00:07:05,799
Nope, but I got some
shots for ya' you fucking pussies
55
00:07:06,568 --> 00:07:09,668
Yeah, O.K., they're coming
to dance with us anyway
56
00:07:09,669 --> 00:07:10,602
I'm not dancing
57
00:07:10,603 --> 00:07:11,769
No, no we don't wanna dance
58
00:07:11,770 --> 00:07:13,429
No dancing
59
00:07:13,637 --> 00:07:15,569
Hey girls, you want to
60
00:07:15,570 --> 00:07:18,298
Oh my God, O.K., O.K., O.K.
61
00:07:19,404 --> 00:07:23,429
Ready, 1, 2, 3
62
00:07:24,473 --> 00:07:26,906
Maybe we could dance a little bit
63
00:07:26,907 --> 00:07:28,740
Dancing is my favorite pastime
64
00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:30,104
I love dancing
65
00:07:31,509 --> 00:07:37,008
Hey, this is awkward,
but I'm just going to say it
66
00:07:37,009 --> 00:07:42,476
My friend told me that you think I'm cute and
I think you are, like, the hottest guy on campus
67
00:07:42,477 --> 00:07:44,778
I've had a crush on you, like, all year
68
00:07:44,779 --> 00:07:52,613
Really, Oh my God, I, I've been trying to ask
you out all year, but I couldn't figure out how
69
00:07:52,614 --> 00:07:55,680
You're really hot
70
00:07:55,681 --> 00:08:01,341
Um, I'm not talking to you;
I'm on the phone
71
00:08:01,449 --> 00:08:06,076
Oh my God, this really
creepy guy just tried...
72
00:08:07,718 --> 00:08:09,115
Man, this is bull
73
00:08:12,385 --> 00:08:16,685
This is bullshit, 6 freaking AM and I'm
running around like a jerk serving drinks
74
00:08:16,686 --> 00:08:17,719
You know what, I'm out of here
75
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,553
Hold on, hold on, this is the last day
76
00:08:20,554 --> 00:08:21,953
You're not quitting now
77
00:08:21,954 --> 00:08:23,587
Alright man, Alright
78
00:08:23,588 --> 00:08:26,384
I don't know why I'm doing this though
I mean do you
79
00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:28,321
I don't know Respect, Brotherhood
80
00:08:28,322 --> 00:08:32,523
My dad was a Gamma Chi, so if Iwant him to
pay for my schooling I have to become one
81
00:08:32,524 --> 00:08:35,013
You really believe all that shit
82
00:08:37,625 --> 00:08:39,324
You really believe all that shit John
83
00:08:39,325 --> 00:08:40,491
About brotherhood and all that
84
00:08:40,492 --> 00:08:41,459
Yes I do
85
00:08:41,460 --> 00:08:45,085
These guys are great guys
86
00:08:46,394 --> 00:08:48,917
We just need to get
through pledging, you'll see
87
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:50,895
That's not why I'm here
88
00:08:50,896 --> 00:08:52,362
So why the hell are you here
89
00:08:52,363 --> 00:08:53,728
What, are you serious
90
00:08:53,729 --> 00:08:55,729
Pussy man, pussy
91
00:08:55,730 --> 00:08:59,930
Shoot, this frat gets laid
more than any other frat on campus
92
00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:01,297
And you know what I'm talking about
93
00:09:01,298 --> 00:09:03,059
Yeah that's right
94
00:09:03,632 --> 00:09:06,928
Hey, Hey, check out
my boy Adam over there
95
00:09:08,699 --> 00:09:10,722
And you know what I'm talking about
96
00:09:11,534 --> 00:09:12,900
Ah, here you go Jeff
97
00:09:12,901 --> 00:09:14,230
Thank you sir
98
00:09:15,202 --> 00:09:17,190
Yeah
You good
99
00:09:24,337 --> 00:09:25,603
Do you want to go up to my room
100
00:09:25,604 --> 00:09:27,703
I don't know, what for
101
00:09:27,704 --> 00:09:29,237
So I can show you my baseball bat
102
00:09:29,238 --> 00:09:31,805
Ah, is it a Louisville Slugger
103
00:09:31,806 --> 00:09:33,772
Nope, it's a Hong Kong Slugger
104
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:35,739
It's a much bigger city
105
00:09:35,740 --> 00:09:38,907
Well, do you have any condoms
106
00:09:38,908 --> 00:09:39,773
Oh yeah
107
00:09:39,774 --> 00:09:41,865
Alright, let's go
108
00:09:46,876 --> 00:09:48,509
Um, hi
109
00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:50,576
I live here
110
00:09:50,577 --> 00:09:52,410
So,
111
00:09:52,411 --> 00:09:55,611
Ah, you want to see my room
112
00:09:55,612 --> 00:09:57,645
What for
113
00:09:57,646 --> 00:10:00,546
Well, I, I, I, want
to show you my bowling ball
114
00:10:00,547 --> 00:10:02,512
Oh, how many balls do you have
115
00:10:02,513 --> 00:10:04,213
Just the one
116
00:10:04,214 --> 00:10:06,314
What's up Stephanie
117
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:10,077
Oh, just talking to the Uni-baller here
118
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:19,146
Let's go
Anytime you're ready old man
119
00:10:19,718 --> 00:10:21,384
Keggar my friend
120
00:10:21,385 --> 00:10:22,818
You do not deserve to be called Keggar
121
00:10:22,819 --> 00:10:26,945
Compared to me you're just little old Jason
who can't drink with the big boys
122
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:29,820
This isn't 1999 anymore
123
00:10:29,821 --> 00:10:32,253
I'm the fastest in the frat now
124
00:10:33,454 --> 00:10:34,921
Fossil, I need your help
125
00:10:34,922 --> 00:10:37,888
Ah, I'm a little busy right now
When then
126
00:10:37,889 --> 00:10:40,522
Ah, O.K., real quick
what can I help you with
127
00:10:40,523 --> 00:10:42,223
Can we please do this
128
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,747
Pa Pa Patience boy
129
00:10:45,192 --> 00:10:47,658
Continue
I don't want to say
130
00:10:47,659 --> 00:10:49,425
Well then you don't get any help
131
00:10:49,426 --> 00:10:51,949
Today
132
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,883
Look, I can't get laid
133
00:10:56,761 --> 00:10:58,294
Just forget it
134
00:10:58,295 --> 00:11:01,261
No, no, you know who has
2 thumbs that can help you get laid
135
00:11:01,262 --> 00:11:02,695
This guy
136
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:05,862
So, hey, swing by my room a
little bit later and I'll help you out
137
00:11:05,863 --> 00:11:07,262
Alright when
138
00:11:07,263 --> 00:11:08,297
Whenever, later
139
00:11:09,231 --> 00:11:12,298
Sure, ah I'm picking up
a 90 pound pig at 10:00
140
00:11:12,299 --> 00:11:13,498
Why don't you come by at 11?
141
00:11:13,499 --> 00:11:14,598
11, alright thanks
142
00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:15,765
No problem
143
00:11:15,766 --> 00:11:17,866
Can we please do this old dude
144
00:11:17,867 --> 00:11:22,099
Son, I'm going to teach you a
lesson in respecting your elders
145
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:26,192
Elders, more like
social security recipient
146
00:11:27,435 --> 00:11:30,800
Now if you don't mind my
lady, you can count us down
147
00:11:30,803 --> 00:11:33,736
Ready, set, drink
148
00:11:33,737 --> 00:11:36,760
Go, Go, Go
149
00:11:38,238 --> 00:11:39,669
Done
150
00:11:50,108 --> 00:11:53,541
No, we can't your roommate will hear
151
00:11:53,542 --> 00:11:56,600
So what, I'm going to tell him anyway
152
00:12:56,491 --> 00:12:59,124
It wasn't enough time
153
00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:00,525
What
154
00:13:00,526 --> 00:13:01,792
4 years
155
00:13:01,793 --> 00:13:04,659
4 years of college
and that's all you get
156
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:08,694
You think it's going to
last forever, but it's not
157
00:13:08,695 --> 00:13:13,629
Between today and the day we die
we never get to go to college again
158
00:13:14,496 --> 00:13:17,129
I walked around campus all last night
159
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,129
Yeah
160
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,364
Everything seemed different
161
00:13:20,365 --> 00:13:22,030
I know
162
00:13:22,031 --> 00:13:24,432
The building the quad,
none if it seemed right
163
00:13:24,433 --> 00:13:31,696
It's like they tell you, you know,
find a major that interests you for a career
164
00:13:32,468 --> 00:13:37,034
Nothing interests me,
I don't want a fucking career
165
00:13:37,035 --> 00:13:39,660
You know what I want my career to be
166
00:13:40,337 --> 00:13:43,270
Playing soccer for the school team
167
00:13:43,271 --> 00:13:46,203
Making out with chicks
168
00:13:46,204 --> 00:13:48,504
You know, drinking beer
169
00:13:48,505 --> 00:13:51,138
Walking around with my
shirt off all day like an idiot
170
00:13:51,139 --> 00:13:54,106
That's what I want my career to be
171
00:13:54,107 --> 00:13:55,440
You know what it is
172
00:13:55,441 --> 00:13:57,707
Suddenly we don't belong here anymore
173
00:13:57,708 --> 00:14:01,040
For 4 years they tell us
this is your home
174
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:04,167
And then one day you wake up
and you don't belong here anymore
175
00:14:04,476 --> 00:14:06,309
You know what I feel like
176
00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:07,176
Yeah
177
00:14:07,177 --> 00:14:09,176
I feel like Lucifer
178
00:14:09,177 --> 00:14:12,377
I feel like Michael is
chucking me out of paradise
179
00:14:12,378 --> 00:14:14,810
This is the worst day of my life
180
00:14:16,212 --> 00:14:18,412
That was dad on the phone
181
00:14:18,413 --> 00:14:24,146
They're letting us stay at home for the summer
while we learn the banking business
182
00:14:24,147 --> 00:14:27,615
Oh yeah, that sounds horrible
183
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,215
Their picking us up at 6 A.M.
184
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,582
6 A.M.
185
00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:33,605
You know dad, he likes to
get an early start
186
00:14:34,618 --> 00:14:37,184
I can't do it bro'
187
00:14:37,185 --> 00:14:38,517
I can't and I won't
188
00:14:39,952 --> 00:14:42,475
I'm not leaving
189
00:14:43,119 --> 00:14:44,252
What are you talking about
190
00:14:44,253 --> 00:14:46,319
I'm not leaving and neither are you
191
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,620
Dad ain't paying for
another year of college
192
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,721
You got 20 grand because I don't
193
00:14:50,722 --> 00:14:54,054
The school charges rent, you know
194
00:14:54,055 --> 00:14:56,388
I'm not getting a job Evan
195
00:14:56,389 --> 00:14:58,456
We won't get real jobs
196
00:14:58,457 --> 00:15:02,257
We'll coach soccer at the
local soccer camp this summer
197
00:15:02,258 --> 00:15:05,057
Evan, you're my brother and I love you
198
00:15:05,058 --> 00:15:06,990
I'm not leaving you behind
199
00:15:08,959 --> 00:15:09,992
You're really staying
200
00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:11,058
I'm not going anywhere
201
00:15:11,059 --> 00:15:12,422
This is my home
202
00:15:13,227 --> 00:15:14,627
How are we going to pull it off
203
00:15:14,628 --> 00:15:18,561
I have no idea, but I know
I can't do it without you bro'
204
00:15:18,729 --> 00:15:21,095
We in this together, 50-50
205
00:15:21,096 --> 00:15:25,085
O.K. man, I mean, I'm
with you one hundred percent
206
00:15:26,964 --> 00:15:29,030
I don't know how we're
staying, but we're staying
207
00:15:29,031 --> 00:15:32,365
Maybe we'll leave
college one day, but not today
208
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:34,832
Not today
209
00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:38,900
Evan and I had less than 24 hours
to secure ourselves a 5th year
210
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:40,567
We knew we needed some help
211
00:15:40,568 --> 00:15:43,400
And if there was one guy in
our fraternity that could help us
212
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,401
It was Greg Karanoski
213
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:48,135
The guy had been in
college for close to a decade
214
00:15:48,136 --> 00:15:49,602
He was a legend
215
00:15:49,603 --> 00:15:52,365
We called him Fossil
216
00:15:52,537 --> 00:15:55,170
So, we figured if anyone
could help us it would be you
217
00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:57,571
You figured right fellas
218
00:15:57,572 --> 00:15:59,538
I'm an 8 year senior
219
00:15:59,539 --> 00:16:01,405
Triple major, quadruple minor
220
00:16:01,406 --> 00:16:04,406
Currently majoring in the
breeding habits of advanced primates
221
00:16:04,407 --> 00:16:09,007
Basically, I have a quarter million dollars
of education crammed into this skull
222
00:16:09,008 --> 00:16:11,275
Alright Fossil, we don't need
your credentials
223
00:16:11,276 --> 00:16:13,441
Just tell us how we do it,
how do we stay
224
00:16:13,442 --> 00:16:16,636
How to stay
225
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:20,577
Gentleman, the following
are sacred rules
226
00:16:20,578 --> 00:16:23,077
Fossil's commandments if you will
227
00:16:23,078 --> 00:16:26,145
Rule number 1;
No summer classes ever
228
00:16:26,146 --> 00:16:28,045
The campus is dead and nobody is around
229
00:16:28,046 --> 00:16:29,879
And you're even
getting closer to graduation
230
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,346
Stupid
231
00:16:31,347 --> 00:16:35,447
Secondly, I want the two
of you to enroll in Trigonometry
232
00:16:35,448 --> 00:16:39,282
Trig is arguably the hardest
course that this college has to offer
233
00:16:39,283 --> 00:16:42,549
Wait, wait, wait why do we
want to sign up for a hard class
234
00:16:42,550 --> 00:16:47,284
Because, even your parents are
scared to death of Trigonometry
235
00:16:47,285 --> 00:16:50,616
Therefore, they will be supportive
and understanding when you fail
236
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,019
Obviously, rule number 2
237
00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:55,252
Take Trigonometry
as many times as possible
238
00:16:55,253 --> 00:16:58,287
I have personally failed Trigonometry 5 times
239
00:16:58,288 --> 00:17:00,387
Now that's 15 credit hours
240
00:17:00,388 --> 00:17:04,288
I personally owe an entire
extra semester to Trigonometry
241
00:17:04,289 --> 00:17:06,255
Wow
242
00:17:06,256 --> 00:17:07,355
Rule number 3
243
00:17:07,356 --> 00:17:08,889
Beer is your friend
244
00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:11,456
The more you drink the more
you'll get out of the college experience
245
00:17:11,457 --> 00:17:14,958
However, somewhere around
your 3rd senior year
246
00:17:14,959 --> 00:17:16,991
You should check yourself
into rehab for alcoholism
247
00:17:16,993 --> 00:17:18,425
But don't worry
Your parents won't be angry
248
00:17:18,426 --> 00:17:22,092
I mean you're just a poor, young,
impressionable soul with a problem
249
00:17:22,093 --> 00:17:25,060
They'll actually think you're growing up
because you're seeking help
250
00:17:25,061 --> 00:17:27,861
Besides, at rehab the food is phenomenal
251
00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:29,928
And the babes, they're fucking sluts
252
00:17:29,929 --> 00:17:31,328
Tell Pam I said hi
253
00:17:31,329 --> 00:17:34,095
Alright dude, this is all great stuff
254
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:35,230
But we don't have any time
255
00:17:35,231 --> 00:17:38,797
We're being picked up
in 20, 19 hours
256
00:17:38,798 --> 00:17:40,264
Do you have any tests left
257
00:17:40,265 --> 00:17:44,399
Yeah, we have our
history 404 final at noon
258
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,165
Fail it
259
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:46,999
What
260
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,899
Fossil rule number 4
261
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:50,133
Fail your last test
262
00:17:50,134 --> 00:17:53,434
Your parents have already paid
for 99% of your college education
263
00:17:53,435 --> 00:17:57,001
Do you really think they are going to call it
quits because you've come 3 credits shy
264
00:17:57,002 --> 00:17:58,102
Fuck no
265
00:17:58,103 --> 00:18:02,137
Fail your last test and you'll be right back here
next year taking that same class again in the fall
266
00:18:02,138 --> 00:18:03,304
Dude that might work
267
00:18:03,305 --> 00:18:04,970
Of course it will work
268
00:18:04,971 --> 00:18:07,305
Ah dude thanks Fossil
269
00:18:07,306 --> 00:18:08,971
Fossil you're awesome
270
00:18:08,972 --> 00:18:10,072
Hey, no problem
271
00:18:10,073 --> 00:18:10,872
Now, are we alright here guys
272
00:18:10,873 --> 00:18:13,239
Absolutely, thanks dude
273
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,273
Alright, I don't want to be rude but
I'm going to ask you guys to run along
274
00:18:16,274 --> 00:18:18,107
Scooter's got an 11 o'clock booked
275
00:18:18,108 --> 00:18:20,369
Ah, Scooter you out there
276
00:18:23,043 --> 00:18:25,876
Get back here you pussies, get
277
00:18:25,877 --> 00:18:28,376
Can't leave until the keg is finished
278
00:18:28,377 --> 00:18:29,877
Get back here
279
00:18:29,878 --> 00:18:32,571
You, pledge
280
00:18:35,212 --> 00:18:38,179
Why don't you drink
you skirt wearing pussy
281
00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:40,413
Shove it up your ass bitch
282
00:18:40,414 --> 00:18:43,244
Give me those chips
283
00:18:46,748 --> 00:18:47,949
Give me those chips
284
00:18:47,950 --> 00:18:51,678
Ah, Fuck
285
00:18:52,317 --> 00:18:54,716
I'll shove 'em down your throat
286
00:18:55,918 --> 00:18:57,906
Fuck, Fuck
287
00:18:58,818 --> 00:19:00,545
Give me those chips
288
00:19:03,486 --> 00:19:06,253
Hey, Kegger is getting laid
289
00:19:06,254 --> 00:19:07,486
Yeah, give it to her Kegger
290
00:19:07,487 --> 00:19:10,613
Whoa, is that chick French
291
00:19:11,322 --> 00:19:12,821
Holy shit
292
00:19:12,822 --> 00:19:14,811
They're fags
293
00:19:19,123 --> 00:19:21,324
We're spinning our wheels here Scooter
294
00:19:21,325 --> 00:19:23,390
It's either you're going to
take my advice or you're not
295
00:19:23,391 --> 00:19:24,791
I can't help you if you're too scared
296
00:19:24,792 --> 00:19:26,258
I can't
297
00:19:26,259 --> 00:19:29,426
Sure you can you just
have to be smooth on the phone
298
00:19:29,427 --> 00:19:31,326
I can't
299
00:19:31,327 --> 00:19:33,093
Women can smell fear
300
00:19:33,094 --> 00:19:35,260
That's why it's important
that you act like you don't care
301
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:36,461
if she's fucking the entire football team
302
00:19:36,462 --> 00:19:39,227
Because you my friend are
having sex with the cheerleading squad
303
00:19:39,228 --> 00:19:42,028
The pom squad, their younger sisters,
their grandmas at home
304
00:19:42,029 --> 00:19:48,164
Everyone in the entire arena
for you fuck her, fuck her
305
00:19:48,165 --> 00:19:49,858
I can't do it Fossil
306
00:19:50,365 --> 00:19:52,698
Scooter, of course you can
307
00:19:52,699 --> 00:19:55,966
I'm going to show you this once,
but only this one time, O.K.
308
00:19:55,967 --> 00:19:57,266
Yeah
309
00:19:57,267 --> 00:19:59,433
Now, I'm going to show you,
but you have to pay attention
310
00:19:59,434 --> 00:20:01,801
Now, what's this girl's name
311
00:20:01,802 --> 00:20:02,701
Kerry
312
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,001
And what's her number
313
00:20:04,002 --> 00:20:09,265
616-555-3836
314
00:20:10,137 --> 00:20:12,970
Wait, you're not
going to call her are you
315
00:20:12,971 --> 00:20:14,071
You want to get laid don't you
316
00:20:14,072 --> 00:20:16,004
No, I mean yeah, I, I, I mean
317
00:20:16,005 --> 00:20:18,272
Alright, now you want to
go out on a date with this girl
318
00:20:18,273 --> 00:20:19,669
Let me set it up
319
00:20:20,039 --> 00:20:21,505
It's ringing
320
00:20:22,174 --> 00:20:23,306
Answering machine
321
00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:24,206
No, hang up hang up
322
00:20:24,207 --> 00:20:25,638
No, no, no, I got this
323
00:20:26,841 --> 00:20:29,774
Hey Kerry, this is Greg
over at the Gamma Chi house
324
00:20:29,775 --> 00:20:31,141
Um, I'm just hanging
out with my buddy Scooter
325
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:34,242
And he was just telling me what
a beautiful smile he thinks you have
326
00:20:34,243 --> 00:20:37,010
And on top of that he went down to
the gallery and saw some of your work
327
00:20:37,011 --> 00:20:39,243
Now he can't stop talking
about how talented he thinks you are
328
00:20:39,244 --> 00:20:42,844
Well, anyway we are over here just watching
my younger brother and his puppy
329
00:20:42,845 --> 00:20:45,445
Well, anyway if you're interested in
swinging by with some of your friends
330
00:20:45,446 --> 00:20:46,979
Why don't you give me a call
331
00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:50,946
555-9452, talk to you then bye
332
00:20:50,947 --> 00:20:57,015
You're going to get laid tonight
Scooter, panties are going to drop, drop
333
00:20:57,016 --> 00:20:59,849
Dude, we don't have a puppy
334
00:20:59,850 --> 00:21:03,216
Who cares, women being lied to
335
00:21:03,217 --> 00:21:05,250
Hey, as long as I get laid
336
00:21:05,251 --> 00:21:07,351
Laid, oh you will get laid
337
00:21:07,352 --> 00:21:08,851
I think I know this chick
338
00:21:08,852 --> 00:21:10,951
She's put on the old freshmen
15 but let me tell ya
339
00:21:10,952 --> 00:21:12,918
Total freak
340
00:21:16,988 --> 00:21:18,487
O.K. time is up
341
00:21:18,488 --> 00:21:21,887
Put your pencils down and past
your test to the left and forward
342
00:21:21,888 --> 00:21:26,255
Results of the test will
be posted outside my office
343
00:21:26,256 --> 00:21:27,422
I'm going to go to lunch now
344
00:21:27,423 --> 00:21:29,856
When I get back I'm going to
put all these through the scantron
345
00:21:29,857 --> 00:21:32,857
So, the results should be
up in about 2 hours
346
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:34,825
For all you juniors out there
have a great summer
347
00:21:34,826 --> 00:21:39,826
Seniors, finally your wait is over
and you can join the workforce
348
00:21:39,827 --> 00:21:42,156
Good luck to you all
349
00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:51,295
How did you do on the test
350
00:21:51,296 --> 00:21:53,796
I think I might have got a D minus
351
00:21:53,797 --> 00:21:55,163
Ah, I wouldn't worry about it
352
00:21:55,164 --> 00:21:58,864
You probably came through
with a well deserved F
353
00:21:58,865 --> 00:22:00,031
Yeah, you're right I failed
354
00:22:00,065 --> 00:22:01,665
That's what I'm talking about
355
00:22:01,666 --> 00:22:03,798
Coming back next year bro'
356
00:22:03,799 --> 00:22:05,866
5th year, baby
357
00:22:05,867 --> 00:22:06,899
5th year
358
00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:10,457
Let's go get some fucking chicks
359
00:23:35,056 --> 00:23:36,889
Hey, was that you mud wrestling
360
00:23:36,890 --> 00:23:37,889
Yeah
361
00:23:37,890 --> 00:23:40,357
I saw that shit it was bad ass
362
00:23:41,058 --> 00:23:46,125
Hey, what did you get on the test
363
00:23:46,126 --> 00:23:46,959
Winston
364
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:47,925
What's up fellas
365
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:49,059
What's up
366
00:23:49,060 --> 00:23:54,127
I'm pretty sure I aced the test and because
my good old boy Brandon copied off of mine
367
00:23:54,128 --> 00:23:55,761
I'm pretty sure he aced it to
368
00:23:55,762 --> 00:23:57,928
You aced the test, yeah right
369
00:23:57,929 --> 00:24:01,796
Bro, just because I can
drink twice as much beer as you
370
00:24:01,797 --> 00:24:04,130
And bang twice as many chicks as you
371
00:24:04,131 --> 00:24:07,131
Does not mean that
I'm not a 4.0 History major
372
00:24:07,132 --> 00:24:10,065
Hey, my man Winston here
could ace that test in his sleep
373
00:24:10,066 --> 00:24:11,165
I think I did
374
00:24:11,166 --> 00:24:12,198
What's that
375
00:24:12,199 --> 00:24:16,866
Ah, Um, Look you guys want to know
what the correct answers were on the test
376
00:24:16,867 --> 00:24:19,566
Yeah, tell me what was
the answer to number 7
377
00:24:19,567 --> 00:24:23,135
Um, 7 is uh Costa Rica
378
00:24:23,136 --> 00:24:24,702
I got Costa Rica
379
00:24:24,703 --> 00:24:25,602
Me too
380
00:24:25,603 --> 00:24:28,136
Hey, what did you get for
the last one, 1847
381
00:24:28,137 --> 00:24:29,736
Yup, Yup
382
00:24:29,737 --> 00:24:32,270
What about the first one, what
was your answer on the first one.
383
00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:37,805
First one, the, uh, Belize 1472
384
00:24:37,806 --> 00:24:40,431
Oh shit
385
00:24:40,807 --> 00:24:43,773
Look who cares about the test boys
386
00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:46,332
C'mon let's party
387
00:24:48,509 --> 00:24:50,175
Here's the thing, we
tried to throw the test
388
00:24:50,176 --> 00:24:52,675
But the answers we thought
were wrong were right
389
00:24:52,676 --> 00:24:53,575
We should have studied more
390
00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:57,010
Wait, why would we study
for a test we were trying to fail
391
00:24:57,011 --> 00:25:01,778
Because you have to know what the right
answers are in order to pick the wrong ones
392
00:25:01,779 --> 00:25:04,438
Why did you 2 numbnuts even
show up for the exam anyway
393
00:25:07,947 --> 00:25:10,147
Well, so what do we do now Fossil
394
00:25:10,148 --> 00:25:13,048
Fossil rule number 5
395
00:25:13,049 --> 00:25:15,782
Cheat, when all else fails just cheat
396
00:25:15,783 --> 00:25:18,049
Dude it's too late to cheat
397
00:25:18,050 --> 00:25:20,449
And when even cheating fails to work
398
00:25:20,450 --> 00:25:21,816
Rule number 6
399
00:25:21,817 --> 00:25:23,016
Steal the test
400
00:25:23,017 --> 00:25:26,684
Now, logically you would
want to do this before the test
401
00:25:26,685 --> 00:25:29,152
But somehow the two of
you have been defying logic
402
00:25:29,153 --> 00:25:31,919
What I need you to do is
break into your professor's office
403
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,119
Steal the test and change all of
your right answer to the wrong ones
404
00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:36,820
What if we get caught
405
00:25:36,821 --> 00:25:39,988
What if you get caught,
who the fuck cares
406
00:25:39,989 --> 00:25:41,721
What's the worst that can happen to you
407
00:25:41,722 --> 00:25:44,149
They kick you out of school
They're kicking you out tomorrow anyway
408
00:25:46,624 --> 00:25:48,456
Um, what the fuck
you guys looking at me for
409
00:25:48,457 --> 00:25:49,524
I don't have the test
410
00:25:49,525 --> 00:25:53,355
Get out of here you are
interrupting my espresso time
411
00:26:28,768 --> 00:26:30,500
Pick the lock
What?
412
00:26:30,535 --> 00:26:32,568
Pick the lock
413
00:26:32,569 --> 00:26:34,002
What the hell do I know
about picking locks
414
00:26:34,003 --> 00:26:35,968
I thought you knew karate
415
00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:38,502
I got a yellow belt at
the YMCA like 12 years ago
416
00:26:38,503 --> 00:26:40,670
And I don't know what
that has to do with anything
417
00:26:40,671 --> 00:26:41,670
Use your keys then
418
00:26:41,671 --> 00:26:43,071
Use my keys to do what
419
00:26:43,072 --> 00:26:45,038
To pick the lock
420
00:26:45,039 --> 00:26:47,405
I'm pretty sure I don't
have the key to his office
421
00:26:47,406 --> 00:26:48,939
And I don't think the
wrong key is going to work
422
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:50,872
That's the entire idea behind keys
423
00:26:50,873 --> 00:26:51,906
Use your credit card
424
00:26:51,907 --> 00:26:54,431
Dad cut up our credit cards
425
00:27:11,079 --> 00:27:14,478
Friday 11:22 a.m.
426
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,846
Hey Kerry this is Greg
over at the Gamma Chi house
427
00:27:17,847 --> 00:27:19,613
Um, I'm just hanging out
with my buddy Scooter
428
00:27:19,614 --> 00:27:22,481
And he was just telling me what
a beautiful smile he thinks you have
429
00:27:22,482 --> 00:27:25,948
And on top of that he went down to
the gallery and saw some of your work
430
00:27:25,949 --> 00:27:28,348
Now he can't stop talking about
how talented he thinks you are
431
00:27:28,349 --> 00:27:31,917
Well, anyway we are over here just watching
my younger brother and his puppy
432
00:27:31,918 --> 00:27:35,084
Well, anyway if you're interested in
swinging by with some of your friends
433
00:27:35,085 --> 00:27:36,051
Why don't you give me a call
434
00:27:36,052 --> 00:27:40,019
555-9452, talk to you then bye
435
00:27:40,020 --> 00:27:45,953
You're going to get laid tonight
Scooter, panties are going to drop, drop
436
00:27:45,954 --> 00:27:48,887
Dude, we don't have a puppy
437
00:27:48,888 --> 00:27:52,422
Who cares, women love being lied to
438
00:27:52,423 --> 00:27:54,456
Hey, as long as I get laid
439
00:27:54,457 --> 00:27:56,689
Laid, oh you will get laid
440
00:27:56,690 --> 00:27:57,823
I think I know this chick
441
00:27:57,824 --> 00:27:59,890
She's put on the old freshmen
15 but let me tell ya
442
00:27:59,891 --> 00:28:02,254
Total freak
443
00:28:19,930 --> 00:28:21,123
Scooter
444
00:28:21,630 --> 00:28:23,996
Hey Kerry, hey did you get my message
445
00:28:23,997 --> 00:28:25,831
Yeah you know I sure did
446
00:28:25,842 --> 00:28:28,462
I'm really glad you could make it
We have some beer over here
447
00:28:28,965 --> 00:28:33,731
Goal
448
00:28:42,769 --> 00:28:45,302
Adam, those are holier than thous
449
00:28:45,303 --> 00:28:47,336
Dude, some of them are hot
450
00:28:47,337 --> 00:28:51,671
Um, is that alcohol
that everyone is drinking
451
00:28:51,672 --> 00:28:53,404
Yeah, do you want one or not
452
00:28:53,405 --> 00:28:55,672
I thought you said this was a barbeque
453
00:28:55,673 --> 00:28:57,905
It is a barbeque, do you want one
454
00:28:57,906 --> 00:28:58,972
We don't drink
455
00:28:58,973 --> 00:28:59,972
Why not
456
00:28:59,973 --> 00:29:01,506
We're Christians
457
00:29:01,507 --> 00:29:04,340
Unpucker your assholes
458
00:29:04,341 --> 00:29:06,374
Uh, why that is the rudest
459
00:29:06,375 --> 00:29:10,375
You know Jesus turned
water into wine not mango juice
460
00:29:10,376 --> 00:29:12,843
I'll have a beer
461
00:29:12,844 --> 00:29:15,610
Jane
What, he's right
462
00:29:15,611 --> 00:29:18,710
You know, Christian girls
are best on their knees
463
00:29:18,711 --> 00:29:20,744
You know we should
get that put on a T-shirt
464
00:29:20,745 --> 00:29:22,438
Shut up Jane
465
00:29:25,380 --> 00:29:27,480
I'm thinking about
going to the new gym in town
466
00:29:27,481 --> 00:29:29,513
They have a lot more free weights there
467
00:29:29,514 --> 00:29:31,881
They would let me in for free also
468
00:29:31,882 --> 00:29:34,448
It's good for them to have
a big guy like me there
469
00:29:34,449 --> 00:29:39,245
I'm putting up like 310, 325
470
00:29:41,418 --> 00:29:43,917
Ah, I need another beer
It was nice talking to you though
471
00:29:43,918 --> 00:29:45,851
Wait a minute, hold on
472
00:29:45,852 --> 00:29:48,483
Pledges
473
00:29:48,552 --> 00:29:51,452
Can't you see this women needs a beer
474
00:29:51,453 --> 00:29:52,719
I'm fine really
475
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,320
Get her a beer now
476
00:29:54,321 --> 00:29:57,253
You two give me 20 push ups
477
00:29:57,821 --> 00:29:59,287
Why
478
00:29:59,288 --> 00:30:00,955
Because I said so that's why
479
00:30:00,956 --> 00:30:01,988
Make it 50
480
00:30:01,989 --> 00:30:03,522
Jerk
481
00:30:03,523 --> 00:30:06,356
Great, make it 100
482
00:30:06,357 --> 00:30:07,656
Just go until I say stop
483
00:30:07,657 --> 00:30:10,724
I'm not getting laid now because of
you two little cock blocks
484
00:30:10,725 --> 00:30:12,358
Wait until you meet The General
485
00:30:12,359 --> 00:30:14,325
The General is coming tonight
486
00:30:14,326 --> 00:30:18,088
You, poor that beer down your dress
487
00:30:25,662 --> 00:30:27,728
Kerry was just over at the barbeque
488
00:30:27,729 --> 00:30:30,762
She came right up to me
and kicked me in the balls
489
00:30:30,763 --> 00:30:31,863
Your plan sucked
490
00:30:31,864 --> 00:30:33,763
Dude, calm down
491
00:30:33,764 --> 00:30:34,964
This is great news
492
00:30:34,965 --> 00:30:36,997
How is that possibly great news
493
00:30:36,998 --> 00:30:40,898
Scooter, it is the primal instinct for the
female to kick the male in the genitalia
494
00:30:40,899 --> 00:30:42,231
When ready to mate
495
00:30:42,232 --> 00:30:45,433
This is basically a sign that the female
has chosen her male to reproduce with
496
00:30:45,434 --> 00:30:47,933
Fossil that is the biggest load
of shit I have ever heard
497
00:30:47,934 --> 00:30:50,001
Remember I am an A student in my major
498
00:30:50,002 --> 00:30:51,568
Breeding habits of advanced primates
499
00:30:51,569 --> 00:30:53,602
I'm like the Dahli fucking Lama of this shit
500
00:30:53,603 --> 00:30:55,002
You're an A student
501
00:30:55,003 --> 00:30:57,569
Well, I'm a student
502
00:30:57,570 --> 00:31:00,003
Yeah, right let's move on
503
00:31:00,004 --> 00:31:01,704
Look, you screwed things up
504
00:31:01,705 --> 00:31:03,237
It's all right
I screwed up
505
00:31:03,272 --> 00:31:05,705
What did I do,
I did what you told me to do
506
00:31:05,706 --> 00:31:07,472
Scooter, have you ever seen
a women naked
507
00:31:07,473 --> 00:31:09,973
Yeah, yeah of course I have
508
00:31:09,974 --> 00:31:11,840
Who, when, where
509
00:31:11,841 --> 00:31:14,974
You know, on the uh
510
00:31:14,975 --> 00:31:18,609
T.V., magazines, the internet
511
00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:19,809
You know, lots of times dude
512
00:31:19,810 --> 00:31:23,209
Oh boy, looks like you're going to
need a little more help than I thought
513
00:31:23,210 --> 00:31:25,476
I'm going to have to really reach
into the bag of tricks for this one
514
00:31:25,477 --> 00:31:27,744
Do you have anyone else in mind
515
00:31:27,745 --> 00:31:29,410
I don't know
516
00:31:29,411 --> 00:31:31,612
I want to get laid
517
00:31:31,613 --> 00:31:33,246
But I really like Kerry
518
00:31:33,247 --> 00:31:34,646
You've already screwed
things up with Kerry
519
00:31:34,647 --> 00:31:36,646
Do you have anything else in mind
520
00:31:36,647 --> 00:31:38,913
Well I don't know if I want anyone else
Fossil
521
00:31:38,914 --> 00:31:40,213
I mean I really like her
522
00:31:40,214 --> 00:31:41,614
Oh, that's cute
523
00:31:41,615 --> 00:31:42,848
Now, man up, grab your sack
524
00:31:42,849 --> 00:31:45,406
And let's figure out how to
get your dipstick into some oil
525
00:31:49,884 --> 00:31:52,817
Alright, we'll need some tight shirts
526
00:31:52,818 --> 00:31:56,417
Expensive shoes, tight pair of jeans
527
00:31:56,418 --> 00:31:57,751
Maybe a little man perfume
528
00:31:57,752 --> 00:31:59,285
Huh, What am I going to
need that stuff for
529
00:31:59,286 --> 00:32:00,852
Because you're going to pretend to be gay
530
00:32:00,853 --> 00:32:03,453
What, no Fossil
Fuck no
531
00:32:03,454 --> 00:32:05,754
Scooter, I pretended to be
gay my entire 3rd senior year
532
00:32:05,755 --> 00:32:06,888
I got laid more than carpet
533
00:32:06,889 --> 00:32:10,455
You meet a girl, become best friends
534
00:32:10,456 --> 00:32:11,889
Go shopping, maybe get a facial
535
00:32:11,890 --> 00:32:12,788
And then you give them the line
536
00:32:12,789 --> 00:32:14,789
I could never imagine myself with a woman
537
00:32:14,790 --> 00:32:17,188
Next thing you know
they're on top of you
538
00:32:20,925 --> 00:32:23,625
Congratulations bro,
for the second time
539
00:32:23,626 --> 00:32:27,752
Who would of thought failing
a test would be so much work
540
00:32:28,594 --> 00:32:30,360
Hey Jeff, Jeff
541
00:32:30,361 --> 00:32:33,294
What happened to your skirt man
542
00:32:33,295 --> 00:32:36,828
Sir, Pledge Master Kegger instructed
me to pour beer down my pants, sir
543
00:32:36,829 --> 00:32:38,295
Alright, that's enough with the sir business
544
00:32:38,296 --> 00:32:39,689
You can just call me Jake
Alright
545
00:32:39,696 --> 00:32:41,696
Man, that Kegger guy
is a complete asshole
546
00:32:41,697 --> 00:32:42,730
Yeah, he can be
547
00:32:42,731 --> 00:32:45,697
But you didn't hear that from us
548
00:32:45,698 --> 00:32:49,465
Jeff go up into my room and
grab yourself a clean pair of pants
549
00:32:49,466 --> 00:32:50,265
Thanks you, sir
550
00:32:50,266 --> 00:32:52,266
Uh, Jake, thanks
551
00:32:52,267 --> 00:32:54,633
Are we going to have to
really drown a kitten tonight
552
00:32:54,634 --> 00:32:55,534
Come here
553
00:32:55,535 --> 00:32:58,800
Do you really think that my brother
and I would be in this frat if we did
554
00:32:58,801 --> 00:33:00,735
Look, it's going to be tough tonight
555
00:33:00,736 --> 00:33:02,169
But you're going to get through it
556
00:33:02,170 --> 00:33:03,469
And it's going to be totally worth it
557
00:33:03,470 --> 00:33:04,802
Thanks a lot guys
558
00:33:04,803 --> 00:33:05,936
Can I get you guys a beer
559
00:33:05,937 --> 00:33:08,236
Yeah sure I'll take another brew
560
00:33:08,237 --> 00:33:09,703
Yeah, me too
Take your time
561
00:33:09,704 --> 00:33:11,227
Thanks guys
562
00:33:33,877 --> 00:33:36,177
Hey babe I'm Freddie
563
00:33:36,178 --> 00:33:38,411
I like your style sexy
564
00:33:38,412 --> 00:33:42,445
Um, look it's not what it looks like alright
565
00:33:42,446 --> 00:33:43,879
It's alright honey
566
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,812
I had trouble coming
out of the closet for years
567
00:33:45,813 --> 00:33:47,213
I'm not in the closet
568
00:33:47,214 --> 00:33:49,613
I don't even own a closet
569
00:33:49,614 --> 00:33:52,808
You know I have one of those poles
on my wall to hang my clothes on
570
00:33:53,682 --> 00:33:56,348
Look this is just a plan O.K.
571
00:33:56,349 --> 00:33:58,249
I'm not gay I'm trying to get laid
572
00:33:58,250 --> 00:33:59,616
Will you please just let me go
573
00:33:59,617 --> 00:34:01,783
Hey, take it easy
574
00:34:01,784 --> 00:34:02,584
We just met
575
00:34:02,585 --> 00:34:04,517
Let's take things a little slower
576
00:34:04,518 --> 00:34:07,143
And there will be plenty of time for lovin
577
00:34:09,587 --> 00:34:11,686
Oh yeah
578
00:34:11,687 --> 00:34:13,654
Hey guys do you want one
579
00:34:13,655 --> 00:34:17,421
One what exactly
580
00:34:17,422 --> 00:34:19,581
Hey common let's go
and make sure we failed
581
00:34:22,657 --> 00:34:24,557
Are the hot dogs done yet
582
00:34:24,558 --> 00:34:26,785
No baby and neither are you
583
00:34:45,829 --> 00:34:48,262
Alright people excuse me pardon me
584
00:34:48,263 --> 00:34:49,262
Hey what the fuck
585
00:34:49,263 --> 00:34:52,797
Frat boys, what are you doing
586
00:34:52,798 --> 00:34:54,730
Hey my name is on that
587
00:34:54,731 --> 00:34:56,464
My grade's on there
588
00:34:56,465 --> 00:34:58,988
We need to see our grade
589
00:35:00,300 --> 00:35:02,499
You said Winston was a History major
590
00:35:02,500 --> 00:35:03,433
He is a History major
591
00:35:03,434 --> 00:35:05,767
Hey, then why didn't he know
any of the right answers to the test
592
00:35:05,768 --> 00:35:08,434
You're a History major why
didn't you know any of the wrong ones
593
00:35:08,435 --> 00:35:09,501
Ah shut up Evan
594
00:35:09,502 --> 00:35:11,468
Dude you wanted to take History
in the first place
595
00:35:11,469 --> 00:35:13,069
Yeah, to take it not to pass it
596
00:35:13,070 --> 00:35:15,336
Fuck you know we had all
the answers wrong and we failed
597
00:35:15,337 --> 00:35:17,836
But we had to go back and
change all the answers because of you
598
00:35:17,837 --> 00:35:20,137
You wanted to change them to Jake
599
00:35:20,138 --> 00:35:23,171
Yeah, but I wouldn't have wanted to if you
hadn't have talked to Winston in the first place
600
00:35:23,172 --> 00:35:24,371
Dude we both talked to Winston
601
00:35:24,372 --> 00:35:26,572
Winston came up to both of us and said hi
602
00:35:26,573 --> 00:35:29,835
No, you went up to Winston and
said hey what did you get on the test
603
00:35:30,374 --> 00:35:32,040
Yeah
604
00:35:32,041 --> 00:35:34,241
Fuck
Sorry
605
00:35:34,242 --> 00:35:39,004
You know were like 13, 14 hours away
from becoming financial bankers
606
00:35:40,743 --> 00:35:42,970
Let's go see Fossil
607
00:35:44,344 --> 00:35:46,444
So let me see if I'm getting this here
608
00:35:46,445 --> 00:35:48,744
You originally had all the answers wrong
609
00:35:48,745 --> 00:35:50,612
But for some reason
thought you had all the answers right
610
00:35:50,613 --> 00:35:53,112
So you broke into your professor's office
Stole the test
611
00:35:53,180 --> 00:35:55,680
Changed all your answers to
what you thought were the wrong answers
612
00:35:55,681 --> 00:35:58,581
But actually changed them to the
right answers and then passed the test
613
00:35:58,582 --> 00:35:59,747
Am I getting this
614
00:35:59,748 --> 00:36:02,148
Yeah that about covers it
615
00:36:02,149 --> 00:36:04,216
How in the fuck is that possible
616
00:36:04,217 --> 00:36:05,715
I have no idea
617
00:36:05,716 --> 00:36:07,249
What did you get
618
00:36:07,250 --> 00:36:08,150
A-
619
00:36:08,151 --> 00:36:09,217
Straight A
620
00:36:09,218 --> 00:36:11,017
So what do we do now
621
00:36:11,018 --> 00:36:13,284
Alright, I didn't want to
have to go in this direction
622
00:36:13,285 --> 00:36:15,318
But you guys have to get some
scholarships
623
00:36:15,319 --> 00:36:17,652
Dude I barely pulled a C average
624
00:36:17,653 --> 00:36:22,653
I got a 2.3 and for the last 4 years
have done absolutely no community service
625
00:36:22,654 --> 00:36:26,988
I've never helped out in any group
or organization in any fucking way
626
00:36:26,989 --> 00:36:30,355
Do I look like an A student to you
627
00:36:30,356 --> 00:36:32,189
I don't even know where the fuck
I slept last night
628
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:35,290
But I do know I have tons of scholarships
rolling in each and every semester
629
00:36:35,291 --> 00:36:36,224
How's that
630
00:36:36,225 --> 00:36:37,257
Rule number 7
631
00:36:37,258 --> 00:36:38,424
Hit on high school chicks
632
00:36:38,425 --> 00:36:39,958
Get one to ask you to prom
633
00:36:39,959 --> 00:36:41,725
Dude were 22 years old
634
00:36:41,726 --> 00:36:43,025
We're not going to prom
635
00:36:43,026 --> 00:36:45,693
Ever heard the expression off
like a prom dress
636
00:36:45,694 --> 00:36:47,593
I believe it speaks for itself
637
00:36:47,594 --> 00:36:49,627
Well, anyway if you go to prom
in a tuxedo
638
00:36:49,628 --> 00:36:51,194
And your date wears a dress
made of duct tape
639
00:36:51,195 --> 00:36:55,128
You can basically win up to $2,500
in scholarship money for college
640
00:36:55,129 --> 00:36:57,162
I'm the 3 year reigning scholarship winner
641
00:36:57,163 --> 00:36:58,996
I don't believe this guy
642
00:36:58,997 --> 00:36:59,996
No way
643
00:36:59,997 --> 00:37:01,530
This is a load of crap
644
00:37:01,531 --> 00:37:03,597
No seriously it's a real scholarship
645
00:37:03,598 --> 00:37:06,165
Now I've already been invited
to prom this year
646
00:37:06,166 --> 00:37:09,398
But just so you guys know I did invite
a couple of high school chicks today
647
00:37:09,399 --> 00:37:11,566
Actually even a few hot ones at
the barbeque right now
648
00:37:11,567 --> 00:37:12,366
No shit
649
00:37:12,367 --> 00:37:13,666
No shit I'm the shit
650
00:37:13,667 --> 00:37:15,167
Rule number 8
651
00:37:15,168 --> 00:37:17,001
You don't have to be sober to cook
652
00:37:17,002 --> 00:37:18,968
I am an excellent cook
653
00:37:18,969 --> 00:37:20,101
You can't cook
654
00:37:20,102 --> 00:37:22,302
Ever heard of Fossil's famous cherry pie
655
00:37:22,303 --> 00:37:25,402
No, he does make a mean cherry pie
I'll give him that
656
00:37:25,403 --> 00:37:27,437
The guy makes a hell of a cherry pie
657
00:37:27,438 --> 00:37:28,604
You're damn right I do
658
00:37:28,605 --> 00:37:32,538
You're looking at the 2005 2006
Mr. Cherry Pie Scholarship Award Winner
659
00:37:32,539 --> 00:37:34,671
That's a cool grand each year for college
660
00:37:34,672 --> 00:37:38,006
You can't cook
661
00:37:38,007 --> 00:37:40,306
That's not even a real scholarship
662
00:37:40,307 --> 00:37:42,574
You bet your ass it is
663
00:37:42,575 --> 00:37:46,408
Basically I just bake a little weed
into the pie
664
00:37:46,409 --> 00:37:48,542
Judges will vote for anything if their high
665
00:37:48,543 --> 00:37:51,243
Fossil rule number 9
666
00:37:51,244 --> 00:37:52,610
It's not a lie if you believe it
667
00:37:52,611 --> 00:37:56,210
Basically just tell a lie so many times
that even you forget if it's the truth or not
668
00:37:56,211 --> 00:38:02,009
For example I'm getting scholarships
for Cancer, Leukemia, Tuberculosis
669
00:38:02,980 --> 00:38:05,313
I think I'm getting one for
being a single parent
670
00:38:05,314 --> 00:38:07,480
But it's up to you guys to figure out
what your story is going to be
671
00:38:07,481 --> 00:38:08,413
What the lie is going to be
672
00:38:08,414 --> 00:38:10,281
So, if you guys don't mind
673
00:38:10,282 --> 00:38:11,314
Go get some scholarships
674
00:38:11,315 --> 00:38:12,982
It's time for me to take my meds
675
00:38:12,983 --> 00:38:17,109
Did I mention I have glaucoma
676
00:39:50,841 --> 00:39:53,874
So, what high school do you go to
677
00:39:53,875 --> 00:39:56,375
Oh, I go to East and my
best friend Joy she goes to East
678
00:39:56,376 --> 00:39:57,342
But now she goes to CC
679
00:39:57,343 --> 00:39:58,476
And she promised to be
best friends forever
680
00:39:58,477 --> 00:39:59,476
But I'm not sure anymore
681
00:39:59,477 --> 00:40:00,609
Because she's friends
with this girl named Paula
682
00:40:00,610 --> 00:40:01,809
And Paula's a total bitch
683
00:40:01,810 --> 00:40:03,410
And I really wanted to go to the
mall one day and she wouldn't let me go
684
00:40:03,411 --> 00:40:04,410
So, so your high school
685
00:40:04,411 --> 00:40:05,943
Does it have a prom
Oh yeah
686
00:40:05,945 --> 00:40:08,244
Wait, whoa
687
00:40:08,245 --> 00:40:10,045
Are you asking me to go to prom
688
00:40:10,046 --> 00:40:11,245
Yeah
689
00:40:11,246 --> 00:40:12,912
Oh my God, Oh my God
690
00:40:12,913 --> 00:40:15,847
Joyce is going to be so jealous
I'm going to prom with a college guy
691
00:40:15,848 --> 00:40:18,214
I have to tell her right now
692
00:40:18,215 --> 00:40:21,315
Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God
693
00:40:21,316 --> 00:40:22,982
So, I was thinking
about what we could wear
694
00:40:22,983 --> 00:40:25,349
There's this scholarship
Yeah, I got this pink dress with a white trim on it
695
00:40:25,350 --> 00:40:26,950
And it's going to cost
about $300 of your money
696
00:40:26,951 --> 00:40:28,483
Because it's from a really
expensive store I really like
697
00:40:28,484 --> 00:40:30,516
But I haven't even been there in years
And I really want to go there
698
00:40:30,518 --> 00:40:32,084
Actually I was thinking
we could both go in duct tape
699
00:40:32,085 --> 00:40:35,152
But duct tape doesn't come in pink
700
00:40:35,153 --> 00:40:38,986
Besides I have this black
tux for you with a pink cumber bun
701
00:40:38,987 --> 00:40:39,919
And we're going to totally match
702
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,153
And your twin should
really go with my best friend
703
00:40:42,154 --> 00:40:43,920
So we can go to this
really expensive restaurant
704
00:40:43,921 --> 00:40:45,388
Because I totally don't want
to eat and not look fat in my dress
705
00:40:45,389 --> 00:40:48,412
And I want to get their late so I
look like the shit when I get to the ball
706
00:40:49,556 --> 00:40:51,522
Do you have any idea
what just happened to me
707
00:40:51,523 --> 00:40:52,822
Did you get laid
708
00:40:52,823 --> 00:40:54,890
No, my God no I didn't get laid
709
00:40:54,891 --> 00:40:56,557
Did you at least get close
710
00:40:56,558 --> 00:40:58,190
Yeah we got to first base
711
00:40:58,191 --> 00:41:00,492
Rounded 2nd and thank God
we didn't get to 3rd
712
00:41:00,493 --> 00:41:02,558
Hey, second base
That's not bad
713
00:41:02,559 --> 00:41:04,426
No, it was, it was with a man you idiot
714
00:41:04,427 --> 00:41:07,960
Yeah that is a possible
unfortunate side effect to that plan
715
00:41:07,961 --> 00:41:09,427
Did that ever happen to you
716
00:41:09,428 --> 00:41:10,560
Nope, never
717
00:41:10,561 --> 00:41:13,295
Yeah, yeah I'll see you
718
00:41:13,296 --> 00:41:16,195
Oh, and don't call Kerry alright
719
00:41:16,196 --> 00:41:17,496
I don't want any more of your help
720
00:41:17,531 --> 00:41:20,196
You got it
Alright, sure
721
00:41:20,197 --> 00:41:22,764
You know I was kicked in the balls
722
00:41:22,765 --> 00:41:24,531
The girl that I like hates me
723
00:41:24,532 --> 00:41:26,998
And I was taken advantage of by a man
724
00:41:26,999 --> 00:41:28,832
That's where your idiot help
has gotten me
725
00:41:28,833 --> 00:41:30,799
I'll stay out of it
726
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:31,832
Fine
727
00:41:31,833 --> 00:41:34,425
Have a nice day
728
00:41:45,138 --> 00:41:48,001
Hey Kerry this is Greg from
the Gamma Chi house again
729
00:41:48,371 --> 00:41:50,771
26... 27... 28
730
00:41:50,772 --> 00:41:53,338
You pansies you think
we're being hard on you
731
00:41:53,339 --> 00:41:55,072
The alumni are coming tonight
732
00:41:55,073 --> 00:41:56,306
The General's coming
733
00:41:56,307 --> 00:41:57,906
He's not taking any prisoners
734
00:41:57,907 --> 00:41:59,540
You guys just wait
735
00:41:59,541 --> 00:42:01,907
We've been easy on you
736
00:42:01,908 --> 00:42:07,042
Wait and see what it's like to
be in hell with Satan running things
737
00:42:07,043 --> 00:42:11,840
That my friends is what it's like
to have The General pledge you
738
00:42:12,544 --> 00:42:14,110
Not bad boys, not bad
739
00:42:14,111 --> 00:42:17,078
You, good effort with you man
740
00:42:17,079 --> 00:42:17,811
Thank you sir
741
00:42:17,812 --> 00:42:18,978
You two should learn from this guy
742
00:42:18,979 --> 00:42:20,845
You want a beer man
743
00:42:20,846 --> 00:42:22,379
Yes, thank you
744
00:42:22,380 --> 00:42:25,113
Oh, does that taste good
745
00:42:25,114 --> 00:42:26,881
Does it taste good
746
00:42:26,882 --> 00:42:28,281
Yes sir, thank you sir
747
00:42:28,282 --> 00:42:30,481
You're my little bitch you know that
748
00:42:30,482 --> 00:42:34,316
Don't just stand there
Get a mop
749
00:42:34,317 --> 00:42:37,375
Have some pride in your fraternity house
750
00:42:37,484 --> 00:42:40,151
We got to go see Fossil
751
00:42:40,152 --> 00:42:43,751
Fossil, do you notice that
none of Fossil's plans ever work
752
00:42:43,752 --> 00:42:45,852
Or even come close to working
753
00:42:45,853 --> 00:42:47,019
I don't know what to do Jake
754
00:42:47,020 --> 00:42:48,286
Yeah, well neither do I
I'm desperate
755
00:42:48,287 --> 00:42:52,354
This is Jake
This is Evan
756
00:42:52,355 --> 00:42:55,255
This is there last day of college here
757
00:42:55,256 --> 00:42:57,121
Dan what the hell are you doing
758
00:42:57,122 --> 00:42:58,055
Oh sorry
759
00:42:58,056 --> 00:43:00,456
This is Ushmad and Ashot
760
00:43:00,457 --> 00:43:03,257
They are foreign exchange
students from India
761
00:43:03,258 --> 00:43:05,457
It is O.K. if we are to say hello to you
762
00:43:05,458 --> 00:43:08,024
Oh, we are working on fraternity story
763
00:43:08,025 --> 00:43:11,059
Ushmad and Ashot are journalism majors
764
00:43:11,060 --> 00:43:15,026
And they are working on a fraternity
story about life here next year
765
00:43:15,027 --> 00:43:19,517
And I figured I would give them a head start
and show them around a bit Is that alright
766
00:43:20,995 --> 00:43:23,995
Today is your last day of college yes
767
00:43:23,996 --> 00:43:25,329
Looks that way
768
00:43:25,330 --> 00:43:29,196
Oh, you are very very fortunate
769
00:43:29,197 --> 00:43:34,298
My brother and I must spend 3 more
years prior to receiving diplomas
770
00:43:34,299 --> 00:43:35,931
You can have mine
771
00:43:35,932 --> 00:43:37,198
I am sorry
772
00:43:37,199 --> 00:43:40,166
So you guys stay here during
the summers too
773
00:43:40,167 --> 00:43:43,000
Yes, it is very much a homesick time
774
00:43:43,001 --> 00:43:45,967
We will not return to home for 3 whole years
775
00:43:45,973 --> 00:43:47,768
And your parents
They don't ever visit
776
00:43:47,769 --> 00:43:50,336
No, it is too far away
777
00:43:50,337 --> 00:43:52,369
And they are very busy
778
00:43:52,370 --> 00:43:57,137
So, these checks
779
00:43:57,138 --> 00:43:59,738
You get tuition and living expenses
780
00:43:59,739 --> 00:44:03,405
Oh, oh yes he sends full tuition
781
00:44:03,406 --> 00:44:07,940
Plus $300 each a month
for spending money
782
00:44:07,941 --> 00:44:10,274
Tuition
Spending money
783
00:44:10,275 --> 00:44:14,342
So, ah, do these checks
784
00:44:14,343 --> 00:44:17,076
Do they cover room and board also
785
00:44:17,077 --> 00:44:18,942
Oh very much so
786
00:44:18,943 --> 00:44:20,876
Included in full tuition
787
00:44:20,877 --> 00:44:23,277
Well, we must return to dormitory now
788
00:44:23,278 --> 00:44:24,777
It was pleasure meeting you
789
00:44:24,778 --> 00:44:27,767
Thanks guys we'll see ya
tonight at pledging
790
00:44:28,813 --> 00:44:31,643
Bro' here's the plan
791
00:44:32,147 --> 00:44:34,113
I enjoyed my meetings with both of them
792
00:44:34,114 --> 00:44:34,947
They were nice
Very good
793
00:44:34,948 --> 00:44:38,648
But Americans we have such
misconception
794
00:44:38,649 --> 00:44:42,048
Our country it is not the same
No. It is not
795
00:44:42,049 --> 00:44:46,383
Ah, what are you doing
796
00:44:46,384 --> 00:44:47,383
Good God
797
00:44:47,384 --> 00:44:50,180
Get off of me
Get off of me
798
00:44:56,354 --> 00:45:01,621
Get this kid
799
00:45:09,190 --> 00:45:10,656
Let go
800
00:45:10,657 --> 00:45:14,487
Get over here Jake
What are you doing? Jake
801
00:45:23,927 --> 00:45:26,757
Lets go
No no please
802
00:45:28,862 --> 00:45:32,089
Get off of me
Get off of us
803
00:45:42,232 --> 00:45:44,129
Fuck yeah bro'
804
00:45:46,033 --> 00:45:48,465
Hopefully this will work
Were coming back
805
00:46:03,738 --> 00:46:05,970
I'm really sorry about everything
806
00:46:05,971 --> 00:46:09,804
Um, I'm normally not that kind of guy
807
00:46:09,805 --> 00:46:14,805
Well, you seem alright now
that we've got to talk for a while
808
00:46:14,806 --> 00:46:18,040
And I'm so sorry I beat you up
809
00:46:18,041 --> 00:46:21,074
That Fossil
810
00:46:21,075 --> 00:46:22,575
Talk about an A one asshole
811
00:46:22,576 --> 00:46:23,641
Fossil
812
00:46:23,642 --> 00:46:27,008
No, Fossil's a little strange
813
00:46:27,009 --> 00:46:29,043
But overall a good guy
814
00:46:29,044 --> 00:46:31,243
He was there when I needed help and
815
00:46:31,244 --> 00:46:33,210
You're going to want to hear this
816
00:46:37,812 --> 00:46:40,179
Hey Kerry this is Greg
over at the Gamma Chi house again
817
00:46:40,180 --> 00:46:44,013
Just calling to invite you to our pursuit of worldly
knowledge with handcuffs party tonight
818
00:46:44,014 --> 00:46:47,614
Anyway, I don't blame you for
kicking Scooter in the nuts this afternoon
819
00:46:47,615 --> 00:46:49,115
The guy is a little woos
820
00:46:49,116 --> 00:46:50,915
I wouldn't like him if I were a girl either
821
00:46:50,916 --> 00:46:52,749
Forget about that looser
822
00:46:52,750 --> 00:46:53,683
Come over tonight
823
00:46:53,684 --> 00:46:56,150
Handcuff yourself to me and
we'll have a great time alright
824
00:46:56,151 --> 00:46:57,183
See you tonight
825
00:46:57,184 --> 00:46:59,082
That son of a bitch
826
00:47:02,018 --> 00:47:03,852
Do you want to get back at him
827
00:47:03,853 --> 00:47:06,285
I think I have an idea
828
00:47:09,020 --> 00:47:10,954
Alright we need to find their student I.D.'s
829
00:47:10,955 --> 00:47:13,521
Bring them back to Fossil and
he can put our pictures right on them
830
00:47:13,522 --> 00:47:15,021
I wonder if they have Indian porn
831
00:47:15,022 --> 00:47:16,647
Get out of here Ushmad
832
00:47:18,089 --> 00:47:20,123
Indian porn, Indian porn
833
00:47:20,124 --> 00:47:22,156
What the hell is this
834
00:47:22,157 --> 00:47:24,124
Dude I found the checks
835
00:47:24,125 --> 00:47:26,724
What the hell is this
836
00:47:26,725 --> 00:47:28,091
Dear Ushmad and Ashot
837
00:47:28,092 --> 00:47:29,859
Fuck
838
00:47:29,860 --> 00:47:31,025
What
839
00:47:31,026 --> 00:47:33,492
Their grandma died
So?
840
00:47:33,494 --> 00:47:35,560
So, they have to go home for a year
841
00:47:35,561 --> 00:47:37,060
We can't use them to go to college
842
00:47:37,061 --> 00:47:39,194
Why did she have to die
843
00:47:39,195 --> 00:47:42,422
No, no
844
00:47:43,163 --> 00:47:46,130
Every single rule Fossil had entrusted in us
845
00:47:46,131 --> 00:47:49,597
Turned out to be a complete
God damn disaster
846
00:47:49,598 --> 00:47:52,731
Somehow we always ended up
worse than when we started
847
00:47:52,732 --> 00:47:54,098
It's all over
848
00:47:54,099 --> 00:47:57,066
It's 5 o'clock and our parents
are coming in 13 hours
849
00:47:57,067 --> 00:47:59,700
And we have absolutely no options left
850
00:47:59,701 --> 00:48:02,566
Today was really going to be
our last day of college
851
00:48:02,567 --> 00:48:07,634
Well, might as well smoke a bowl
and get laid
852
00:48:07,703 --> 00:48:11,102
So Kegger, Brandon told me that
you fucked a pledge today dude
853
00:48:11,103 --> 00:48:13,170
No, you fucked the pledge
854
00:48:13,171 --> 00:48:14,803
Oh yeah me, no
855
00:48:14,804 --> 00:48:17,670
He had his legs all straddled up
around you
856
00:48:17,671 --> 00:48:19,938
Don't listen to this shit
Don't listen to that shit
857
00:48:19,939 --> 00:48:23,072
C'mon little bro'
858
00:48:23,073 --> 00:48:26,140
Ah yeah pass it to the left
859
00:48:26,141 --> 00:48:27,707
Yeah let's go pass it to the left
860
00:48:27,708 --> 00:48:28,874
No to the right
861
00:48:28,875 --> 00:48:33,075
You know what you're like
a 400 pound light weight
862
00:48:33,076 --> 00:48:44,811
So, I'll see you your fucking socks
And I'll raise you my boxers for your panties
863
00:48:44,812 --> 00:48:46,712
Panties, let's see some panties
864
00:48:46,713 --> 00:48:48,979
Yeah
865
00:48:48,980 --> 00:48:51,112
Oh yeah, let's see what you got
866
00:48:51,113 --> 00:48:54,180
O.K. I got 3 kings
867
00:48:54,181 --> 00:48:56,014
Hell yeah
868
00:48:56,015 --> 00:48:57,814
Go get some
869
00:48:57,815 --> 00:49:00,615
Not so fast boys
870
00:49:00,616 --> 00:49:02,048
Flush
871
00:49:02,049 --> 00:49:03,183
Oh, yeah
872
00:49:03,184 --> 00:49:05,016
Yeah, yeah take it off
873
00:49:05,017 --> 00:49:07,483
Fuck
874
00:49:07,484 --> 00:49:09,151
Alright alright
875
00:49:09,152 --> 00:49:10,484
Ah dude
876
00:49:10,485 --> 00:49:13,919
Hey dude easy
877
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:16,919
Hey hey, yo
878
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,853
Jesus Christ
879
00:49:19,854 --> 00:49:24,913
Oh yeah, bing, bing, bing...
880
00:49:47,529 --> 00:49:49,392
Is that your super sock that you're
wearing
881
00:49:51,896 --> 00:49:53,629
Oh fuck Evan
Mom and Dad are here
882
00:49:53,630 --> 00:49:55,996
Get up, get up you fucking idiot
Mom and Dad are here
883
00:49:55,997 --> 00:50:00,731
C'mon God Damn it
Fuck, fuck
884
00:50:00,732 --> 00:50:03,864
Where the fuck are my pants
Ah fuck. Where the fuck are my pants
885
00:50:03,865 --> 00:50:05,632
You just grabbed my fucking cock
886
00:50:05,633 --> 00:50:08,122
Where the fuck are my
Oh shit
887
00:50:11,401 --> 00:50:14,734
They are so gay
888
00:50:14,735 --> 00:50:17,601
Girls what are we going to do now
889
00:50:17,602 --> 00:50:19,769
You're the only one not naked
890
00:50:19,770 --> 00:50:23,998
C'mon lets go
Ah yeah
891
00:50:26,071 --> 00:50:27,905
Mom, Dad
892
00:50:27,906 --> 00:50:29,838
You look messy
893
00:50:29,839 --> 00:50:32,872
How are my soon to be graduate boys
894
00:50:32,873 --> 00:50:34,906
Well mom
895
00:50:34,907 --> 00:50:35,773
Great to see you son
896
00:50:35,774 --> 00:50:36,907
Great to see you sir
897
00:50:36,908 --> 00:50:40,407
Son, are you O.K.
898
00:50:40,408 --> 00:50:41,508
Ah, he's fine sir
899
00:50:41,509 --> 00:50:43,508
Mom, how are you
900
00:50:43,509 --> 00:50:44,642
Good Jake
901
00:50:44,643 --> 00:50:45,909
It's so good to see you
902
00:50:45,910 --> 00:50:48,709
Let's go inside so I can start
packing your clothes
903
00:50:48,710 --> 00:50:52,077
Well, I thought that you
and Dad would be here at 6 A.M.
904
00:50:52,078 --> 00:50:53,777
Like we talked about
on the phone Right Dad
905
00:50:53,778 --> 00:50:57,878
I thought I'd allow your mother a head start on
packing your clothes, moving stuff out of the room
906
00:50:57,879 --> 00:50:59,579
Wow, what a great surprise
907
00:50:59,580 --> 00:51:00,646
We can't
908
00:51:00,647 --> 00:51:01,846
Well why not
909
00:51:01,847 --> 00:51:02,814
Because
910
00:51:02,815 --> 00:51:07,915
Because we have a meeting
across campus in 20 minutes
911
00:51:07,916 --> 00:51:11,016
With a History Professor
912
00:51:11,017 --> 00:51:13,483
Really, which professor
913
00:51:13,484 --> 00:51:17,451
Ah, History Professor Hughes
914
00:51:17,452 --> 00:51:18,717
Professor Hughes
915
00:51:18,718 --> 00:51:21,084
H-U-G-H-E-S
916
00:51:21,085 --> 00:51:22,585
Yeah, that's right
Do you know him
917
00:51:22,586 --> 00:51:24,653
Sounds familiar
918
00:51:24,654 --> 00:51:27,619
But I've never met a
History Professor Hughes before
919
00:51:27,620 --> 00:51:31,654
You weren't going to see the
professor looking like that were you
920
00:51:31,655 --> 00:51:35,521
No, no I thought we had left our
nice clothes out here on the porch
921
00:51:35,522 --> 00:51:37,422
Well, looks like we didn't
922
00:51:37,423 --> 00:51:39,390
We're just going to go inside
and throw something on
923
00:51:39,391 --> 00:51:40,690
I got a great idea
924
00:51:40,691 --> 00:51:43,857
Why don't you and Mom come over
the History House in 20 minutes
925
00:51:43,858 --> 00:51:45,958
You can sit in on the meeting with us
926
00:51:45,959 --> 00:51:48,926
Dude, we don't have no meeting
927
00:51:48,927 --> 00:51:50,983
Ah, ouch, stop
928
00:51:52,961 --> 00:51:54,593
We're just going to throw on some clothes
929
00:51:54,594 --> 00:51:55,827
We'll be back in 20 minutes sir
930
00:51:55,828 --> 00:51:58,794
Son, we'll just come inside
with you and wait until you change
931
00:51:58,795 --> 00:52:00,662
And then all of us will
go over there together
932
00:52:00,663 --> 00:52:04,596
Well, Dad I thought that Mom
might want to see the Flower Grove
933
00:52:04,597 --> 00:52:07,096
They are in full blossom this time of year
934
00:52:07,097 --> 00:52:08,363
They are absolutely beautiful
935
00:52:08,364 --> 00:52:11,997
Our college ranked number 1 best
flowers in the country
936
00:52:11,998 --> 00:52:13,798
It's going to be dark in 20 minutes
937
00:52:13,799 --> 00:52:15,666
Wouldn't you like to see them Mom
938
00:52:15,667 --> 00:52:17,332
Ah Jake
939
00:52:17,333 --> 00:52:19,667
It's so nice of you to think of me
940
00:52:19,668 --> 00:52:20,967
C'mon, let's go
941
00:52:20,968 --> 00:52:26,035
Alright then we'll see in the front entrance
of the History House in 20 minutes. Sharp
942
00:52:26,036 --> 00:52:27,297
Yes sir
943
00:52:29,337 --> 00:52:30,670
Fossil, I'm in way too deep
944
00:52:30,671 --> 00:52:34,337
I told my parents that we have a meeting with
Professor Hughes over at the History Office
945
00:52:34,338 --> 00:52:36,671
It's all a lie
How could they have showed up early
946
00:52:36,672 --> 00:52:38,772
Life as a college student
is finished, done, over
947
00:52:38,773 --> 00:52:40,972
Is Evan stoned
948
00:52:40,973 --> 00:52:43,272
You know I always knew I'd
have to deal with this moment
949
00:52:43,273 --> 00:52:46,674
But I feel like I'm at a funeral
only it's my funeral
950
00:52:46,675 --> 00:52:48,941
It's O.K. Jake
It's alright
951
00:52:48,942 --> 00:52:52,541
What are you consoling me
for your life is over to you moron
952
00:52:52,542 --> 00:52:56,876
Ah, it seems that your parents have
shown up a little earlier than expected
953
00:52:56,877 --> 00:52:58,043
What, my parents are here
954
00:52:58,044 --> 00:52:59,276
Yeah, snap out of it
955
00:52:59,277 --> 00:53:01,910
I had to cover for you because Mom
and Dad wanted to come into the house
956
00:53:01,911 --> 00:53:03,778
It smells like a God damn reggae party
957
00:53:03,779 --> 00:53:04,878
You screwed up dude
958
00:53:04,879 --> 00:53:06,612
I screwed up
What did you do?
What did I do?
959
00:53:06,613 --> 00:53:07,946
The only thing I did is save your ass
960
00:53:07,947 --> 00:53:08,946
Save my ass
961
00:53:08,947 --> 00:53:09,812
Yeah, save your ass
962
00:53:09,813 --> 00:53:14,914
No man, sounds like you
made things unnecessarily worse
963
00:53:14,915 --> 00:53:17,849
You know what, you don't even know
what lie I even told Mom and Dad
964
00:53:17,850 --> 00:53:20,949
And you were standing right there
you fucking moron - Enough!
965
00:53:20,950 --> 00:53:25,517
The two of you are going home from
college and never coming back again ever
966
00:53:25,518 --> 00:53:28,485
Now Jake, what did you tell your parents
967
00:53:28,486 --> 00:53:31,785
I told them we had a meeting with
Professor Hughes at the History Office
968
00:53:31,786 --> 00:53:34,345
Did you tell your parents what the
meeting was about. - No
969
00:53:34,353 --> 00:53:38,587
Alright, what were your plans
once you got to the History House
970
00:53:38,588 --> 00:53:39,887
I don't have any plans
971
00:53:39,888 --> 00:53:43,921
I figured I'd just go over there and tell them
that the meeting got cancelled or something
972
00:53:43,922 --> 00:53:47,889
Alright, well do either of your
parents know Professor Hughes
973
00:53:47,890 --> 00:53:48,823
Or know what he looks like
974
00:53:48,824 --> 00:53:50,623
No, there is no Professor Hughes
I made the name up
975
00:53:50,624 --> 00:53:52,224
Put the God damn fish bowl down
976
00:53:52,225 --> 00:53:56,758
And are there any pictures of Professor Humes
anywhere on the first floor of the History House
977
00:53:56,759 --> 00:53:59,859
No, are you listening
There is no Professor Hughes
978
00:53:59,860 --> 00:54:01,326
There is now
979
00:54:01,327 --> 00:54:02,960
Rule number 10
980
00:54:02,961 --> 00:54:04,994
When all else fails impersonate a professor
981
00:54:04,995 --> 00:54:06,560
Forcibly if needed
982
00:54:06,561 --> 00:54:09,795
Gentlemen, I am Professor Humes
983
00:54:09,796 --> 00:54:12,963
No, it's Hughes H-U Hughes
984
00:54:12,964 --> 00:54:13,963
Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever
985
00:54:13,964 --> 00:54:16,897
Alright Jake, Evan, I need you two
to head over to the History Office
986
00:54:16,898 --> 00:54:18,830
Hold them off for just a little bit
987
00:54:18,831 --> 00:54:20,331
I'm going to throw on a suit
988
00:54:20,332 --> 00:54:21,798
I'll get over there as quick as I can
989
00:54:21,799 --> 00:54:22,831
I'm going to help you out of this
990
00:54:22,832 --> 00:54:24,866
Get the fuck off me
991
00:54:24,867 --> 00:54:27,856
Get the fuck off me
Let's go
992
00:54:50,573 --> 00:54:51,937
Gotcha
What?
993
00:54:51,940 --> 00:54:54,607
Kerry what are you doing
994
00:54:54,608 --> 00:54:55,840
You're getting what you asked for
995
00:54:55,841 --> 00:54:57,174
You wanted to hang out with me tonight
996
00:54:57,175 --> 00:54:58,241
And now you got me
997
00:54:58,242 --> 00:54:59,808
Yeah tonight, later, um
998
00:54:59,809 --> 00:55:02,342
Can you please unlock me
999
00:55:02,343 --> 00:55:03,242
I don't have the key
1000
00:55:03,243 --> 00:55:04,408
It's in my dorm room
1001
00:55:04,409 --> 00:55:05,709
Where we should end up tonight
1002
00:55:05,710 --> 00:55:07,343
Ah, fuck, alright
1003
00:55:07,344 --> 00:55:08,710
Just, just come with me
1004
00:55:08,711 --> 00:55:11,837
Where are we going
1005
00:55:12,678 --> 00:55:15,545
You must be Mr. Tanner
1006
00:55:15,546 --> 00:55:17,813
It's a pleasure to meet you sir
Hi
1007
00:55:17,814 --> 00:55:21,113
I am obviously Professor Hughes
1008
00:55:21,114 --> 00:55:23,580
What the hell is going on here
Oh, how rude of me
1009
00:55:23,581 --> 00:55:25,548
Mr. and Mrs. Tanner this is Kerry
1010
00:55:25,549 --> 00:55:28,281
Kerry, this is Mr. and Mrs. Tanner
1011
00:55:28,383 --> 00:55:30,616
Nice to meet you dear
1012
00:55:30,617 --> 00:55:32,517
I love the shirt
1013
00:55:32,518 --> 00:55:36,150
You're probably wondering why
Kerry and I are handcuffed together
1014
00:55:36,151 --> 00:55:39,751
Well, um, we are handcuffed this
1015
00:55:39,752 --> 00:55:41,285
This is for charity
1016
00:55:41,319 --> 00:55:43,152
Charity
1017
00:55:43,153 --> 00:55:45,786
He's lying
I'm a whore
1018
00:55:45,787 --> 00:55:48,654
Um, theatre students
1019
00:55:48,655 --> 00:55:50,254
Great imagination
1020
00:55:50,255 --> 00:55:53,388
Well, what Kerry is trying to get at is
1021
00:55:53,389 --> 00:55:58,619
The school has decided to handcuff a professor
with a student to raise money for cancer
1022
00:55:58,757 --> 00:56:00,790
That's nice
1023
00:56:00,791 --> 00:56:05,892
Who in the world thought of the idea to
handcuff a female student with a male teacher
1024
00:56:05,893 --> 00:56:08,492
Well, we believe in outside the box
thinking here
1025
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:12,293
Well as you both already know
1026
00:56:12,294 --> 00:56:14,627
Both Jake and Evan are special students
1027
00:56:14,628 --> 00:56:16,294
They're actually 2 of
the tops in my class
1028
00:56:16,295 --> 00:56:18,328
Must be a pathetic class
1029
00:56:18,329 --> 00:56:23,678
Pathetically challenging historical wise
1030
00:56:23,731 --> 00:56:29,231
Well, today I would like to offer both Jake and
Evan my coveted teaching assistant positions
1031
00:56:29,232 --> 00:56:30,498
Absolutely
1032
00:56:30,499 --> 00:56:33,431
Yeah, absolutely, yeah
1033
00:56:33,432 --> 00:56:36,898
Don't worry about it guys you earned it
1034
00:56:37,101 --> 00:56:39,433
I'm actually pretty excited that
you decided to accept the postions
1035
00:56:39,434 --> 00:56:42,201
Does anybody else need a drink
1036
00:56:42,202 --> 00:56:44,535
Now is not the time to drink
1037
00:56:44,536 --> 00:56:46,068
Just take a drink Greg
1038
00:56:46,069 --> 00:56:47,369
I don't want a drink
1039
00:56:47,370 --> 00:56:51,434
If you don't take a drink
I'll scream and scream and scream
1040
00:56:51,538 --> 00:56:55,704
Fine, I will take a drink
1041
00:56:55,705 --> 00:56:57,505
Here
1042
00:56:57,506 --> 00:56:59,238
I don't want any
1043
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:04,139
I'm not so sure that this is
the best thing for Jake and Evan to do
1044
00:57:04,141 --> 00:57:06,340
They were planning at working at a bank
1045
00:57:06,341 --> 00:57:09,108
Trust me Mom, Dad
1046
00:57:09,109 --> 00:57:13,109
There is nothing more Jake and I
want more than to be here next year
1047
00:57:13,110 --> 00:57:16,642
Well, I suppose
1048
00:57:16,644 --> 00:57:18,210
As long as it's what you want to do
1049
00:57:18,211 --> 00:57:21,278
I guess it sounds like a good opportunity
1050
00:57:21,279 --> 00:57:23,611
What are you going to do for money
1051
00:57:23,612 --> 00:57:24,678
Where are you going to stay
1052
00:57:24,679 --> 00:57:25,679
When do you start
1053
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:31,080
Mr. Tanner, your sons will be begin preparing
my next year's curriculum as soon as this Monday
1054
00:57:31,081 --> 00:57:32,381
They'll be here all summer
1055
00:57:32,382 --> 00:57:33,614
All through next year
1056
00:57:33,615 --> 00:57:35,714
And as far as some of your other concerns
1057
00:57:35,715 --> 00:57:37,613
They
1058
00:57:38,449 --> 00:57:42,383
As far as some of your other concerns
they can live on campus housing for free
1059
00:57:42,384 --> 00:57:43,683
Otherwise they can, Huh
1060
00:57:43,684 --> 00:57:49,109
They, there is going to be a
small fee of $1,500 per student
1061
00:57:49,119 --> 00:57:51,386
Just basically to lock in
the positions for next year
1062
00:57:51,387 --> 00:57:53,386
That will need to be taken care of today
1063
00:57:53,387 --> 00:57:56,420
Alright then
1064
00:57:56,421 --> 00:57:59,352
Who do I make the check out to
1065
00:57:59,422 --> 00:58:02,521
That's Greg Karanowski
1066
00:58:02,522 --> 00:58:04,289
K-A-R-A-N
1067
00:58:04,290 --> 00:58:06,256
I thought your last name was Hughes
1068
00:58:06,257 --> 00:58:08,256
Hughes is just a nickname
1069
00:58:08,257 --> 00:58:11,324
Ah, I'm so proud of you boys
1070
00:58:11,392 --> 00:58:13,357
Thank you Mom
Thanks a lot sir
1071
00:58:13,358 --> 00:58:16,425
Well, looks like you both
have busy schedules ahead of you
1072
00:58:16,426 --> 00:58:20,086
I guess Mom and I will head back
to the hotel and head back tomorrow
1073
00:58:22,527 --> 00:58:24,694
Thanks a lot Professor Hughes
1074
00:58:24,695 --> 00:58:27,026
And if you don't mind
1075
00:58:27,062 --> 00:58:29,129
Actually Kerry and I also need to leave
1076
00:58:29,130 --> 00:58:31,195
We're going to have sex
1077
00:58:31,196 --> 00:58:33,753
Oh, but it's for charity
1078
00:58:35,464 --> 00:58:36,430
I'll tell you
1079
00:58:36,431 --> 00:58:40,033
These professors could
never survive in the real world
1080
00:58:42,199 --> 00:58:44,599
Yes dude I can't believe that shit worked
1081
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:45,699
Fossil you did it man
1082
00:58:45,700 --> 00:58:47,133
No problem boys
1083
00:58:47,134 --> 00:58:48,099
Do you guys mind
1084
00:58:48,100 --> 00:58:50,701
Oh, yeah, yeah we're leaving
1085
00:58:50,702 --> 00:58:52,968
Hey can we just grab that $3000 first
1086
00:58:52,969 --> 00:58:54,669
I'm sorry, what
1087
00:58:54,670 --> 00:58:58,570
That $3,000 that you got from our Dad
to pay for our room and board next year
1088
00:58:58,571 --> 00:58:59,670
For you
1089
00:58:59,671 --> 00:59:01,270
That's my 3 G's boys
1090
00:59:01,271 --> 00:59:03,671
Cha Ching
I'm coming back for year 9 bitches
1091
00:59:03,672 --> 00:59:04,571
Wait a second
1092
00:59:04,572 --> 00:59:06,671
You're stealing money from our Dad
1093
00:59:06,673 --> 00:59:10,439
You know now is really not a good time
to talk about this
1094
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:13,106
You know I'm about ready to bring out the
ole Fossil bone if ya know what I'm saying
1095
00:59:13,107 --> 00:59:15,240
I know what you're saying
1096
00:59:15,241 --> 00:59:17,002
Take another drink first
1097
00:59:18,142 --> 00:59:21,939
Don't let the door hit
your ass on the way out boys
1098
00:59:28,478 --> 00:59:29,977
It's 10 P.M.
1099
00:59:29,978 --> 00:59:31,078
Time for hell night
1100
00:59:31,079 --> 00:59:34,611
Tonight we welcome back
all of our past pledge masters
1101
00:59:34,613 --> 00:59:36,946
They'll help us activate our pledges
1102
00:59:36,947 --> 00:59:39,446
And bring them into the
brotherhood of Iota Gamma Chi
1103
00:59:39,447 --> 00:59:44,348
I think the old farts really
enjoy taking a break from their lives
1104
00:59:44,349 --> 00:59:46,974
To spend one more weekend in the
fraternity
1105
00:59:47,416 --> 00:59:52,014
I, I, I, Iota Gamma Chi
1106
00:59:52,217 --> 00:59:54,183
I, I, I, Iota
Stop
1107
00:59:54,184 --> 00:59:55,384
That's horrible
1108
00:59:55,385 --> 00:59:57,351
Pathetic
1109
00:59:57,352 --> 00:59:59,985
Let me show you guys
why you're pledging
1110
00:59:59,986 --> 01:00:05,815
1965 the year my father
pledged this fraternity
1111
01:00:05,988 --> 01:00:09,054
Pledges, how many pledges are there
1112
01:00:09,055 --> 01:00:10,155
7, sir
1113
01:00:10,156 --> 01:00:12,355
Pledges, how many actives are there
1114
01:00:12,356 --> 01:00:13,622
45, sir
1115
01:00:13,623 --> 01:00:19,299
Alumni, how many pledges are there
1116
01:00:20,491 --> 01:00:22,158
Do you hear that
1117
01:00:22,159 --> 01:00:24,224
I can actually here them
1118
01:00:24,225 --> 01:00:27,825
You punk little girls need to pick it up
1119
01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:29,593
You got that
1120
01:00:29,594 --> 01:00:35,361
Now boys you have the pleasure of meeting
one of the founding fathers of this fraternity
1121
01:00:35,362 --> 01:00:38,195
Sir, do you have anything to say sir
1122
01:00:38,196 --> 01:00:42,628
I fucked every one of the Golden Girls
1123
01:00:42,630 --> 01:00:44,663
Are you guys ready for hell night
1124
01:00:44,664 --> 01:00:46,564
Sir, yes, sir
What?
1125
01:00:46,632 --> 01:00:47,698
Sir, yes, sir
1126
01:00:47,699 --> 01:00:49,198
That's more like it
1127
01:00:49,199 --> 01:00:51,532
You guys are going to pay
1128
01:00:51,533 --> 01:00:53,828
The General is here
1129
01:00:55,934 --> 01:00:58,701
That's The General
1130
01:00:58,702 --> 01:01:01,101
Smart guy hey
1131
01:01:01,103 --> 01:01:03,168
Start with him
Now we're going to pledge
1132
01:01:03,203 --> 01:01:05,464
Let's go. Let's do this
1133
01:02:45,996 --> 01:02:48,528
Say it, say it
Say it mother fucker
1134
01:02:48,529 --> 01:02:51,962
Alpha Beta Gamma
Fuck you
1135
01:02:53,831 --> 01:02:56,030
You worthless scum have embarrassed me
1136
01:02:56,031 --> 01:02:57,298
The alumni are here
1137
01:02:57,299 --> 01:03:01,795
And they are asking me why have I turned
you into such worthless pieces of shit
1138
01:03:01,833 --> 01:03:04,033
Why have I not turned you into Gammas
1139
01:03:04,034 --> 01:03:05,499
It's all my fault
1140
01:03:05,500 --> 01:03:07,033
No
1141
01:03:07,034 --> 01:03:08,300
Who will step up
1142
01:03:08,301 --> 01:03:11,901
Who will fill these shoes and turn you
into Gammas and turn you into real men
1143
01:03:11,902 --> 01:03:13,102
Who will
1144
01:03:13,103 --> 01:03:14,935
I've been to easy on you
1145
01:03:14,936 --> 01:03:16,136
I've been to nice
1146
01:03:16,137 --> 01:03:19,036
You dirty little dirt bags
1147
01:03:19,037 --> 01:03:21,337
I'll pledge your but cracks until they bleed
1148
01:03:21,338 --> 01:03:22,504
Do you understand me
1149
01:03:22,505 --> 01:03:23,904
Sir yes sir
1150
01:03:23,905 --> 01:03:24,971
Do you understand me
1151
01:03:24,972 --> 01:03:26,037
Sir yes sir
1152
01:03:26,039 --> 01:03:27,305
Pledges, how many pledges are there
1153
01:03:28,140 --> 01:03:29,439
Pledges, how many actives are there
1154
01:03:30,540 --> 01:03:31,873
Alumni, how many pledges are there
1155
01:03:32,507 --> 01:03:33,906
Alumni, how many actives are there
1156
01:03:48,778 --> 01:03:50,945
Hey Scooter get us some drinks
1157
01:03:50,946 --> 01:03:53,245
Scooter you have no date this evening
1158
01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:55,246
Therefore you are the drink wench
1159
01:03:55,247 --> 01:03:56,912
No problem
1160
01:03:56,913 --> 01:03:59,247
Dad, dad I'm done
1161
01:03:59,248 --> 01:04:02,347
It's over, I'm a Gamma Chi now
1162
01:04:02,348 --> 01:04:04,781
So what's up ladies
1163
01:04:04,782 --> 01:04:07,272
Who would like to
try a brand new Gamma Chi
1164
01:04:10,150 --> 01:04:14,777
Alright Fossil some hundred proof vodka
and a laxative ought to loosen you up
1165
01:04:16,486 --> 01:04:19,816
Drink wench, hurry up
1166
01:04:20,787 --> 01:04:22,886
Hey, here's a double shot Fossil
1167
01:04:22,887 --> 01:04:25,580
And here's one for you Kerry
1168
01:04:27,022 --> 01:04:29,888
Fossil, you old son
of a bitch drink with me
1169
01:04:29,889 --> 01:04:32,446
Have a seat
1170
01:04:35,057 --> 01:04:38,546
I, I, I, Iota Gamma Chi
1171
01:04:41,492 --> 01:04:43,125
Hey, mines just water right
1172
01:04:43,126 --> 01:04:44,853
Yup
1173
01:04:48,060 --> 01:04:49,993
Kegger, come here man
1174
01:04:49,994 --> 01:04:51,027
You were the biggest dick
1175
01:04:51,028 --> 01:04:53,228
No, you made it
You were my favorite pledge
1176
01:04:53,229 --> 01:04:54,794
I'm going to be Pledge Master one day
1177
01:04:54,795 --> 01:04:56,394
I want to be just like you
Yeah, make me proud
1178
01:04:56,462 --> 01:04:57,461
You're my fucking hero
1179
01:04:57,462 --> 01:04:58,462
Make me proud
1180
01:04:58,463 --> 01:05:00,758
Hey everybody the drink wench is back
1181
01:05:01,997 --> 01:05:02,863
Head to head
1182
01:05:02,864 --> 01:05:03,730
Shot for shot
1183
01:05:03,731 --> 01:05:05,930
I'm taking you on all night grandpa
1184
01:05:05,931 --> 01:05:08,297
Kegger this is not a hot dog eating contest
1185
01:05:08,298 --> 01:05:09,731
This is alcohol
1186
01:05:09,732 --> 01:05:11,265
You went down this morning
1187
01:05:11,266 --> 01:05:12,332
You're going down again tonight
1188
01:05:12,333 --> 01:05:16,133
I, I, I, Iota Gamma Chi
1189
01:05:19,135 --> 01:05:22,500
I, I, I, Iota Gamma Chi
1190
01:06:00,146 --> 01:06:01,178
You want to dance
1191
01:06:01,179 --> 01:06:02,111
What
1192
01:06:02,112 --> 01:06:04,745
I want to get in your pants
1193
01:06:04,746 --> 01:06:07,405
Oh, yeah, O.K.
1194
01:06:29,386 --> 01:06:32,614
I love this boys
1195
01:06:38,922 --> 01:06:40,255
We're in this really deep bro'
1196
01:06:40,256 --> 01:06:42,156
I know
1197
01:06:42,157 --> 01:06:45,289
Do you miss this much
1198
01:06:45,290 --> 01:06:46,856
What's that
1199
01:06:46,857 --> 01:06:49,857
This place, college, the fraternity
1200
01:06:49,858 --> 01:06:54,821
No, I mean don't get me wrong
I had a great time when I was here
1201
01:06:54,893 --> 01:06:57,893
But, I'm pretty happy with my life
1202
01:06:57,894 --> 01:07:00,260
What about the girls
1203
01:07:00,261 --> 01:07:05,392
Ah yeah sure, I mean, sleeping
with a different co-ed every weekend
1204
01:07:05,395 --> 01:07:06,328
It has got its appeal
1205
01:07:06,329 --> 01:07:08,929
But I have a beautiful wife
1206
01:07:08,930 --> 01:07:10,762
Couple of great kids
1207
01:07:10,763 --> 01:07:14,897
So, overall, no I don't miss it
1208
01:07:14,898 --> 01:07:17,998
You guys are graduating tomorrow right
1209
01:07:17,999 --> 01:07:20,699
Yeah, well, no
1210
01:07:20,700 --> 01:07:22,599
I mean we were supposed but
1211
01:07:22,600 --> 01:07:24,599
I think we figured out a way to stay
1212
01:07:24,600 --> 01:07:26,933
Stay and do what
1213
01:07:26,934 --> 01:07:30,697
Stay, live in the frat and party
1214
01:07:31,235 --> 01:07:33,835
I'm putting you into retirement grandpa
1215
01:07:33,836 --> 01:07:36,636
If you want to quit just ask for mercy
1216
01:07:36,637 --> 01:07:40,036
Oh, no c'mon Greg you can do it, drink
1217
01:07:44,039 --> 01:07:46,806
You know Greg, Fossil,
or whatever you call him
1218
01:07:46,807 --> 01:07:48,639
You think he's the king of campus
1219
01:07:48,640 --> 01:07:52,040
I bet if you'd ask most of the students
here they would think that he is a joke
1220
01:07:52,041 --> 01:07:54,674
He's a joke to the alumni
1221
01:07:54,675 --> 01:07:57,208
You know I pledged with him
1222
01:07:57,209 --> 01:07:59,709
He's cool to your face
1223
01:07:59,710 --> 01:08:02,810
But you turnaround and
he'll stab you in the back
1224
01:08:02,811 --> 01:08:05,811
Your right
1225
01:08:05,812 --> 01:08:08,211
He screwed over Scooter today
1226
01:08:08,212 --> 01:08:11,245
He took $3,000 from our Dad
1227
01:08:11,246 --> 01:08:13,579
I really feel sorry for the guy
1228
01:08:13,580 --> 01:08:15,013
He's stuck
1229
01:08:15,014 --> 01:08:18,880
He has no idea which direction
to take his life
1230
01:08:18,881 --> 01:08:23,182
And every year that goes by he
just becomes more and more pathetic
1231
01:08:23,183 --> 01:08:25,239
And he knows it
1232
01:08:25,616 --> 01:08:26,749
Oh my God
1233
01:08:26,750 --> 01:08:30,050
Wait Kegger, you were
just drinking water like me right
1234
01:08:30,051 --> 01:08:34,018
No, hundred proof vodka all night
1235
01:08:34,019 --> 01:08:37,110
I had to beat him fair and square
1236
01:08:40,654 --> 01:08:42,953
You guys want to know
what the secret to life is
1237
01:08:42,954 --> 01:08:44,477
What's that
1238
01:08:45,788 --> 01:08:48,188
Make a career out of something you love
1239
01:08:48,189 --> 01:08:51,022
Something you have passion for man
1240
01:08:51,023 --> 01:08:53,255
So what do you do
1241
01:08:53,256 --> 01:08:55,557
Me, I love sports
1242
01:08:55,558 --> 01:08:58,191
I majored in sports
management when I was here
1243
01:08:58,192 --> 01:09:00,725
And then it was off to major league soccer
1244
01:09:00,726 --> 01:09:04,759
6 months ago I bought an interest
in the Chicago Fire soccer team
1245
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:06,792
You serious
The Fire's our favorite team
1246
01:09:06,793 --> 01:09:08,093
Evan and I play soccer
1247
01:09:08,094 --> 01:09:11,618
We've been team captains for
the past 3 years, all conference
1248
01:09:13,662 --> 01:09:14,761
I'll tell you what
1249
01:09:14,762 --> 01:09:16,161
If you guys are interested
1250
01:09:16,162 --> 01:09:18,529
Why don't you guys come by the stadium
1251
01:09:18,530 --> 01:09:19,830
Work out with the team
1252
01:09:19,831 --> 01:09:22,930
Give me a call tomorrow and
I'll put you in touch with some coaches
1253
01:09:22,931 --> 01:09:25,731
Dude, we'll definitely call you
1254
01:09:25,732 --> 01:09:27,832
Hey man, I'm still a Gamma
1255
01:09:27,833 --> 01:09:29,965
And I'll do anything to help out a brother
1256
01:09:29,966 --> 01:09:33,766
Well I got to get back to the wife
1257
01:09:33,767 --> 01:09:34,800
You guys take it easy
1258
01:09:34,801 --> 01:09:36,167
Thanks for letting me stop by
1259
01:09:36,168 --> 01:09:37,463
Anytime
1260
01:09:38,635 --> 01:09:39,801
Oh God
1261
01:09:39,802 --> 01:09:43,530
Here, I got the key
1262
01:09:46,738 --> 01:09:48,525
You all right
Thank you
1263
01:09:49,705 --> 01:09:51,693
We did it
1264
01:10:05,142 --> 01:10:08,234
Let's get out of here
1265
01:10:09,910 --> 01:10:13,934
Here's your hot dog eating contest bitch
1266
01:10:17,679 --> 01:10:18,978
Ladies, you want to get us some beers
1267
01:10:18,979 --> 01:10:23,912
Yeah buddy, those chicks are hot
1268
01:10:23,913 --> 01:10:27,214
What's up Winston, Brandon
1269
01:10:27,215 --> 01:10:28,047
What's up brothers
How are you doing
1270
01:10:28,048 --> 01:10:31,781
Hey dude it turns out that
you're not that smart at history
1271
01:10:31,782 --> 01:10:33,849
Actually man I'm plenty smart
1272
01:10:33,850 --> 01:10:37,750
I failed that test on
purpose and so did Brandon here man
1273
01:10:37,751 --> 01:10:39,250
What the hell are you talking about
1274
01:10:39,251 --> 01:10:41,016
We don't want to graduate
1275
01:10:41,017 --> 01:10:43,951
Everyone knows that if
you fail your last final
1276
01:10:43,952 --> 01:10:46,718
That your parents will pay to
send you back for another semester
1277
01:10:46,719 --> 01:10:50,853
Bro' my parents paid for 4 full years of tuition
1278
01:10:50,854 --> 01:10:52,687
Do you really think that
they are going to let me come
1279
01:10:52,688 --> 01:10:56,287
3 credits shy of graduation and call it quits
1280
01:10:56,288 --> 01:10:58,521
Not a chance man
1281
01:10:58,522 --> 01:11:01,155
Dude I can't believe these
2 fuckers didn't know that
1282
01:11:01,156 --> 01:11:03,056
Bro' we're coming back for another year
1283
01:11:03,057 --> 01:11:04,089
5th year baby
1284
01:11:04,090 --> 01:11:05,256
5th year
1285
01:11:05,257 --> 01:11:07,090
See you boys later
1286
01:11:07,091 --> 01:11:10,580
Shmucks
1287
01:11:15,794 --> 01:11:17,160
Ah, he shit himself
1288
01:11:17,161 --> 01:11:19,183
What a loser
1289
01:11:25,096 --> 01:11:29,696
Hello, who the hell is this
in the middle of the black night
1290
01:11:29,697 --> 01:11:32,196
Yes sir it's me, and Evan's here to
1291
01:11:32,197 --> 01:11:34,564
Harold, Harold who is it
1292
01:11:34,565 --> 01:11:36,065
Nobody, go back to sleep
1293
01:11:36,066 --> 01:11:39,132
Jake, I've been thinking
1294
01:11:39,133 --> 01:11:43,166
I'm going to look into that crackpot professor's
credentials first thing in the morning
1295
01:11:43,167 --> 01:11:45,434
Actually Dad, don't even worry about it
1296
01:11:45,435 --> 01:11:48,567
Evan and I don't want to
become teacher's assistants anyway
1297
01:11:48,568 --> 01:11:52,668
Good, now let me get off the damn
telephone and let me go back to bed
1298
01:11:52,669 --> 01:11:54,136
Harold, language
1299
01:11:54,137 --> 01:11:57,537
Sir, we have a tryout with a
major league soccer team next week
1300
01:11:57,538 --> 01:11:58,771
Soccer
1301
01:11:58,772 --> 01:12:02,638
Now listen that's enough games
at 3:00 in the morning
1302
01:12:02,639 --> 01:12:05,472
I'm picking you and your
idiot brother up at 6 A.M.
1303
01:12:05,473 --> 01:12:06,706
And that's the end of it
1304
01:12:06,707 --> 01:12:09,440
No sir, we're going our
own way and that's the end of it
1305
01:12:09,441 --> 01:12:10,907
So make sure that you cancel that check
1306
01:12:10,908 --> 01:12:12,474
You're going your own way
1307
01:12:12,475 --> 01:12:14,508
Yes sir
1308
01:12:14,509 --> 01:12:18,675
You know this is the
first time you ever stood up to me
1309
01:12:18,676 --> 01:12:20,942
Finally grew up a little bit huh
1310
01:12:20,943 --> 01:12:25,410
Well I guess the banking
business isn't going anywhere
1311
01:12:25,411 --> 01:12:27,844
You give your mother a call
tomorrow afternoon
1312
01:12:27,845 --> 01:12:28,712
We will
1313
01:12:28,713 --> 01:12:29,645
And Jake
1314
01:12:29,646 --> 01:12:31,045
Sir
1315
01:12:31,046 --> 01:12:34,446
You give me a call after
those soccer tryouts
1316
01:12:34,447 --> 01:12:37,113
If you put your mind to it you can do it
1317
01:12:37,114 --> 01:12:39,274
You and Evan both
1318
01:12:43,816 --> 01:12:45,549
He actually took it alright
1319
01:12:45,550 --> 01:12:47,649
Hey what time is it
1320
01:12:47,650 --> 01:12:48,817
It's about 3 A.M.
1321
01:12:48,818 --> 01:12:50,483
You think there's any chicks downstairs
1322
01:12:50,484 --> 01:12:51,884
A couple drunk ones
1323
01:12:51,885 --> 01:12:52,751
Works for me
1324
01:12:52,752 --> 01:12:54,013
Me too
1325
01:12:55,052 --> 01:12:57,018
Idiot kids
1326
01:13:08,856 --> 01:13:10,889
You can have me if you want me
1327
01:13:10,890 --> 01:13:14,123
I'm a little nervous
1328
01:13:14,124 --> 01:13:16,613
It will come naturally
1329
01:13:36,763 --> 01:13:40,855
I'm a man
1330
01:13:42,398 --> 01:13:48,194
Subtitles: Arigon
1331
01:13:54,668 --> 01:13:56,767
Hey
1332
01:13:56,768 --> 01:14:00,102
Evan, what's up man
1333
01:14:00,103 --> 01:14:01,802
I was thinking man
1334
01:14:01,803 --> 01:14:06,670
We should have one more
game while we're still in college
1335
01:14:06,671 --> 01:14:10,538
Alright
1336
01:14:10,539 --> 01:14:12,971
Let's go
1337
01:14:17,107 --> 01:14:17,939
So that's it
1338
01:14:17,940 --> 01:14:19,073
That's our story
1339
01:14:19,074 --> 01:14:22,007
I'd like to tell you that we went on
1340
01:14:22,008 --> 01:14:24,508
Played major league soccer in Chicago
1341
01:14:24,509 --> 01:14:25,974
Maybe we'll make the team
1342
01:14:25,975 --> 01:14:27,341
Maybe we won't
1343
01:14:27,342 --> 01:14:29,776
I don't know what's going to happen next
1344
01:14:29,777 --> 01:14:32,377
But I'll tell you this much
1345
01:14:32,378 --> 01:14:33,544
Whatever happens
1346
01:14:33,545 --> 01:14:35,710
We'll never end up like Fossil
1347
01:14:35,711 --> 01:14:38,336
With a dick in our mouths
1348
01:14:54,983 --> 01:14:56,483
Hey, good luck with those soccer tryouts
1349
01:14:56,484 --> 01:14:57,917
I know you'll do a good job
1350
01:14:57,918 --> 01:15:00,247
I hope so, I'm really excited
1351
01:15:04,519 --> 01:15:06,507
Ah, good God
1352
01:15:08,921 --> 01:15:10,353
Hey, by the way
1353
01:15:10,354 --> 01:15:12,620
Your grandma's dead
1354
01:15:12,621 --> 01:15:14,178
No
99924
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