Original subtitles

drunken taxi chat, and more break-ups

that you can shake a stick at.

As always, the tans you see might be fake

but the people are all real although some of what they do

has been set up purely for your entertainment.

Previously, on The Only Way Is Essex.

[yelling over each other]

- What the hell are you doing, Rick?

Oh!

- What I'm saying is, you're definitely on your period

and you're definitely not here to stay.

- What the fuck are you doing

in a hot tub with Kirk and Joey?

Should fuck her, really.

It's a Rolex.

- [Danni] So why'd you say this, why'd you say that?

- Yeah, but you're looking at me

with this face on you. - What face?

- How about showing me a bit of respect, Danni,

I've been a good friend to you.

[dramatic music]

- [Diags] Say hello to her.

Oi, what happened with you and Gemma?

- I got in the car with her,

saying, come on, dear, we're going back to yours,

and she was like, nah, nah.

Can't believe it, she actually turned me down.

The thing is, with me and Gemma,

it's really weird, like, I don't really fancy Gemma,

as much as I think she's a pretty girl and stuff like that.

- Oh, she definitely is, yeah.

- I'm definitely not in love with her.

But yet, sometimes in my head,

I think that we're actually made for each other.

[laughing] Do you know what I mean?

- Yeah, you are.

Yeah, I think, cut your losses and go for Gemma.

That's what I think, my advice would be to you,

is that you're not gonna get anyone else now.

The way that you act around girls is horrible.

So I think-- - What are you talking about?

- You're just like, chauvinistic and things like that.

- [Laughing] Oh, my god, you're, what are you talking about?

- I'll give you one, give you one tip.

Stop, stop, just going to every girl

that you like musical theatre,

just shut up about it, 'cause it's boring me.

And stop trying to kiss 'em every time you first see 'em.

- I don't do that! - You do, Lee!

You did it again!

[arguing]

Oh, my god, do you wanna give me a kiss?

- No I don't!

- And they're like, nah.

[arguing]

You do think I'm good-looking don't I,

I'm good-looking.

- No I don't! - You do!

You've gained a lot of weight.

So it's like, you're lost,

you're looking as you are first fall.

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

- Cup of coffee?

- Yeah, mum, black.

- Right, what have you been up to?

- Nothing mum, you know everything

that's going on with me and Lucy anyway.

- Yeah, and?

- I dunno, I just feel like I've let everyone down,

I feel like I've let you down,

I feel like I've let Lucy down,

I feel like I've let myself down,

I've let her family down, I've let our friends down

that have always defended us in the past.

I feel like I've let everyone down with it all.

But this time was different from last time Mum,

you know it was, it wasn't like it was.

- I know, I know it's different, Mario,

but if you look at it, you've got two sisters.

And if any of their boyfriends did

what you are doing you would be,

absolutely go mad with it all, wouldn't you?

- Yeah, I know, I'd smash them to pieces as well.

- So why are you doing it to Lucy?

Lucy's so lovely.

- That's the thing I don't get, Mum,

that's the thing I don't know myself, I don't get it myself.

I don't get why I did it again,

because she's the most important thing in my life.

Do you know what I mean?

But one thing I do know, well since like,

this whole thing, where me and Lucy

have been how we have been,

where I can see all, like, three, four days ago,

she wouldn't even kiss me or look at me,

whereas now, she's actually, she's all right with me now.

- I know, but you're gonna ruin it.

- Well, I think with the engagement thing

I think we both automatically felt so old.

We've just both become really boring.

- Mm-hm. - Like, every single aspect,

like, we didn't wanna, our dates would be

going for dinner to the same places every night.

We'd get up in the morning, let the dogs out,

the dogs would have a poo and a wee,

then we'd just do something else, it's just--

- Mario, but don't you think Lucy just

gets fed up with the gestures?

It's not something that you can give

a sort of a holiday, presents or anything,

what's going on has to come from you.

I think deep down, you've gotta show her a bit more respect.

- I want her to be showing her head,

that she can trust me, that she knows

that I know that it will never happen again.

- It sounds deep down Mario, you have grown up a bit.

[fast-paced music]

- Dad? - Save some for me.

- Is that nice? - It's lovely, isn't it?

- I think it's all right, I done good.

- Really good, mate! - Done better than dad.

- Did you tell Kirk who you saw last night?

- Who? Oh, Arg. - Oh, Arg? What was he doing?

- Singing. - He was singing?

- On a stage smaller than this table.

- Was he? - Wow, that was good.

Was he good, though? - No.

- Mate! [laughing]

- What do you mean, the singing wasn't very good?

- He couldn't sing to save his life.

- Really?

Blimey, he won't be very happy to hear that.

I can't sing, can I?

Holly's a good singer, isn't you?

- You sing in the shower.

- What does dad sing in the shower, Mase?

- Like, 200-year-old songs.

- Why is your voice all husky?

- I don't know. - He's going through puberty.

- No, no!

- I think he's already gone through that already.

- Hey!

- You going through puberty now, Mase?

- No, I'm not! - Is your voice breaking?

- Not talking about that, it's rude,

especially at the dinner table.

- Are you?

Got hairs on your armpit? - Leave me alone!

- Of course he has.

He'll have a beard before he's got one, wouldn't you?

- Yeah!

- Holly'll have a beard before I get one.

- No, I will not! - Yes, you will!

- No I will not!

- You don't grow a beard, do you?

Pretty girls don't have beards, do they?

Have you felt that lump on daddy's chin, there?

- Where? [squeals]

[fast-paced music]

- Four, and five, open your eyes.

That's it, well done.

Okay. - Thank you.

- How was that?

- Yeah, I feel a bit chilled out.

- That's good. - Yeah.

[phone ringing]

- Bob?

Babes?

- Hello?

- You all right, gorg?

- Gem, it's Bob!

I've been to see a hypnotherapist about Charlie.

- No way.

- Yeah, you've gotta get yourself on it,

get on this.

- Is the bloke fit, that does it?

- He is quite fit, I guess, for an older man-ish.

- Are you joking me, do you think they'll

be able to help me, with my dieting and that,

hypnotise me into not eating chocolate and stuff?

- Oh, babe, he'll help you with everything.

I'm gonna go away, write a list, and come back.

I think we should come here every week.

The world's our oyster with this man.

- You're joking. - He can help us with weight,

phobias, grieving, and like, unrequited love.

It was really nice, and I kind of, I've come away,

I think with a little bit more one with nature,

it was really lovely.

- Yeah, it was twisting you up, Bob, you just don't need it.

It's like me, the minute I get stressed, I start eating.

When it's like, do you think the man

would be able to help me lose weight and stuff?

- Definitely, I'll come with you,

there's nothing to be scared of.

But I feel like I've left this emotional black sack of shit.

- Right, book me in, Bobby, I've gotta go,

I have so gotta go.

[upbeat music]

- You know what I was talking about the other day,

about obviously people been talking about us

and saying things, and I didn't realise,

which I've since spoke to her, but Danni Park Dempsey,

she felt the need to go and talk to Gemma about it

to see if there was anything more than

them being jealous or whatever.

And the way it's come across really,

Gemma thinks I've sent Danni on my behalf.

- Why, how did Danni go about it then, what did she--

- Well, no, she just went to talk to her about it,

she just explained to her I think.

- I said to Charlie, I said how bad it was for me

to watch her say to my dad I can't stand the man

when about a year and a half ago

she was knocking on his door baking him pies.

- I don't know whether she's having a swipe

to get her own back at me, 'cause she might think

I've not been nice or whatever.

- I don't think it's getting her own back,

I think it's just attention, mate, I think everyone,

everyone's, for some reason, this is Essex,

everyone's craving attention for some reason,

I don't understand why.

But I do, you know how I always come

and talk to you about my problems?

Oh, I feel like, you've never got no one to talk to, really,

so if you've got any problems, tell me as well.

I know maybe that you might be able to sort them out, but--

- I wouldn't like to burden you with my problems.

- I'd like for you to, for you to have someone to talk to,

because if I'm in need for help, I always talk to you.

- Yeah. - And I can trust you.

So I'd like if you've got...

Not even to help me out, like, to help you out,

if nothing, if you ever just wanted to talk.

- Well, thanks for that.

Appreciate that.

[upbeat music]

- I thought Jess was staying around Ricky's the other night?

- Oh, I dunno.

I just said to her all along he's too young for you,

she's too mature for him. - Yeah, no.

- there's nothing wrong with him, he's a lovely boy.

- He is lovely, isn't he, yeah.

- But, he is a young boy who needs his friends

and she's looking for something completely different,

she's looking for commitment, she's older, mature.

And I said to her, I really think you need to

talk to him about it and I literally think

you need to pull away and just have a break,

because it's just, I don't think it's going to work.

- No. - I don't.

- But he won't give her the dog, though, will he?

- No, I'm not having no bloody dogs.

- Got enough dogs as it is, please.

- No, he can keep his dog, I'm not having his dog.

[fast-paced music]

- Evening, hello, how are you?

- Good, you? - We're not late, are we?

- Fashionably late.

- Tea bag, this is Lucy, this is tea bag.

- Hiya, nice to meet you.

[all chatting]

- You do look really nice today.

- You do, that's true.

- What are you doing, Taylor?

- Jinkford.

Buddy Lauten.

- How'd you two meet?

- Twitter. [laughing] - Wasn't very romantic.

- This is nice, all being out together.

- He calls you princess!

- As soon as he saw we weren't engaged anymore,

he tried to buy the ring off me.

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

- How are things with Sam, they all good, or?

- We've had a few arguments recently and stuff, as you know.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Things like that, it's annoying isn't it?

The thing is she gets the hump,

so then I get the hump because she's getting the hump,

and then there's an argument.

But she gets the hump first.

Say like, she's having a drink,

and I'm in the front room watching TV.

She will go to me, like, why are you watching the TV for?

I'll be like, 'cause I'm watching TV.

I'm not, you're not, you turn the TV off,

then you come in here and join me.

- What you're trying to say is that Sam

can be quite controlling sometimes?

- But she tries using reserve-- reserve...

What is it? Reserve? - Reverse psychology.

- That's what she was using, reverse psychology,

and it don't work. - That just confuses you.

- Yeah, it confuses me so much, it makes me...

It makes me reverse that and go and do what I wanna do.

[laughing]

- So you're saying you reverse reverse psychology?

- I reverse, her reverse psychology.

[laughing]

How nuts is that?

It's so weird.

- Obviously, look, all couples argue,

so you argue a little bit, but in general,

you are a great couple,

and I think you argue less than most couples, so,

what's the next step, what's the next thing in line?

- what is the next step?

Oh, what, you mean marriage?

Is that what you mean?

- Maybe not marriage, I couldn't really imagine

you getting married but it don't seem far off

for you and Sam to maybe...

- Get engaged? - I dunno, what do you reckon?

- I dunno when it's gonna happen,

but it will be between today and the next 8 months,

that's what I've said to her.

- That's quite a big sort of...

- What? - Window.

[upbeat music]

- I'm actually really happy

for the first time in a long time, do you know what I mean,

with actually with Taylor at the minute.

Like, you know, she's met everyone,

you know, and now she's part of the group.

- Watching my guy grow up.

- Oh, don't be so sensitive!

- It's good, no, I do like it. I miss you.

- How do you miss me? - I miss you.

- Rick, you're always around mine.

- I know, but I make time for you and I don't get it back.

- Is that how you feel? - That's how I feel right now.

At the moment, because it's a--

- That's a bit harsh, Rick.

If you ask Jess, if you was to ask Jess,

it would be the same, I bet if I said to Taylor,

does Chris lob you off to see me she wouldn't say yes,

but if you asked Jess she would be like, yeah,

you're always at Chris's, that's because

I want to see you man, don't let the man love die,

that's the problem with these days man.

- I'm not gonna let the man love die!

- Everyone, listen, I love being with Jess,

and it's great, but-- - Is it, is it?

- I've got my boys. - Is it great?

- I love my boys, yes. - Is it great?

- Yes, it is great.

But I love my boys, I love my boys as well.

- He's just weird, he'll choose to see his mates

over me on like a Saturday night, we've got nothing to do.

The worst part about it is that when we first got together

he was talking about marriage and all this

and because I'm older than him I thought,

maybe now I've met someone that it might happen with,

and now I just don't know.

- Oh, Jess.

- I don't want him to get hurt, and I don't wanna get hurt.

- I'm actually so nervous.

- I would be mate, look at all the people here.

- This is one of my biggest ever gigs.

[laughing]

- When we go in you're singing.

- The weather ain't great,

but that's not going to let us spoil it.

Just look at Glastonbury, all the artists at Glastonbury

have to perform in the rain like that.

- You're basically like Glastonbury.

Know what, I want to see little kids

crying their eyes out tonight.

- They will.

- Because they're so happy you're singing, man.

- Not 'cause they want someone else on or anything.

Listen, I know Arg has been back a million times,

but I really feel back tonight.

[cheering]

- Wait, wait, wait, one, two, three!

- [Crowd] Argie, Argie, Argie!

[dramatic music]

- It's October and we all know

it's Breast Cancer Awareness month, this is our Pink Friday.

And I just really wanna bring to all your attention

that actually one in three women in this country

is diagnosed with breast cancer.

Which if you think in this room it means two of us.

So I'm going to give the cards out,

you've all put your £10 in, haven't you?

- [Everyone] Yeah. - Good.

- Thank you. - All for a good cause.

No cheating Nanny Pat, no cheating.

- No, I don't never cheat on bingo.

- No, she's never cheated bingo, she's just...

- I've never cheated at bingo.

- She's just very good at bingo.

- Shall I release my balls, Deb?

- Big time! - Big time, yeah!

Balls on the table!

- The first ball, boys and girls, is...

[laughing]

Two and seven, 27!

- Yes!

[doorbell ringing]

- Is that Big Ben? - No, that's the doorbell.

- Man of the house tonight, go and get the door.

- I thought that was Big Ben!

- Yeah, I thought it was Big Ben.

- Hiya, sorry I'm late!

- Oh, hello!

You're looking lovely and pink, darling!

- I can't believe...

I actually do feel, I'm a bit light,

I don't care if I'm cringing myself out or embarrassing.

I feel like a pop star.

You know, the screaming girls, I'm sure someone fainted.

- You're Justin now.

- I wouldn't say I was Justin Bieber.

- No, Justin Argent.

- I'd say I was somewhere in between

the style of Michael Bublé,

the presence of Michael Jackson and the moves,

and the youth of Justin Bieber and One Direction.

- Oh, I reckon if I was a pop star,

what would you put me to, Justin Bieber or One Direction?

- If you was a modern day pop star,

I'd say you're Justin Bieber,

I'd say I was Michael Bublé,

and I'd say Diags was...

- Oh, that geezer, that geezer, the ginger one.

- Di's Ed Sheeran. - Ed Sheeran.

- Ed Sheeran, yeah. - What the hell?

[laughing]

- He's really good, talented and stuff,

but look at him man, he's really, really ginger.

[laughing]

- Nothing wrong with that!

- Am I not so--

- Nah, you got the same figure as him.

Nice and curved and stuff.

- No, I haven't. - You have got some ears.

[arguing]

- You're really, really fat!

You can't say that you're like, who'd you say you was?

- Michael Bublé, he goes up in weight as well.

- No, he's quite skinny.

- Michael Bublé yoyos in weight.

- Michael Bublé, the one that sings--

- Oh, my god, Michael Bublé is known for

one minute he's fat and then he's thin--

- Yeah, but Michael Bublé is cool.

- What? - What, and I'm not?

- No, not at all.

[upbeat music]

- We was just saying before you got here,

we was filling Bobby in, about how Mick had

a problem with him saying that Sugar Hut was a...

- Spearmint rhinos? - Spearmint rhinos.

- And what's Mick actually got beef about then?

- Did you know that a Spearmint Rhinos was a strip club?

- Oh my god, darling. - But did you know that?

- Right, I don't live in New York,

but I know Macy's is a shop.

Am I done here? - Are they stripping?

- Are they stripping in Sugar Hut?

- What, in Macy's? - No.

In Sugar Hut, are they stripping?

- No Mick, Mick wants to protect his brand.

Mick should make a phone call to us

because that would show what a real man he is

if he wants to protect his brand.

Put your bollocks on the fucking table.

- I never once said I would talk to Bobby,

because there is no need for me to talk to Bobby.

I only said that I would talk to Gemma

because I saw you as like, we get on well

and we're friends and we talk.

- Why do you always like to play the victim?

You like to play the victim when I was with Lydia,

you like to play the victim when you seeing Charlie,

you're always a victim--

- I'm not a victim, I'm not a victim, Bobby.

Yeah, sometimes you're not asked to do things Bobby--

- Bobby! - But you do it.

- Take a deep breath!

Just leave it, leave it, leave it.

- Why have you fallen out?

- It's ridiculous. - Over Charlie?

- Because apparently I'm a liar, aren't I?

- No, not over Charlie.

Bobby makes me feel about this big.

- Can we leave it now?

- You know what...

[arguing over each other]

No, I'm not gonna sit there and be lied about.

- Don't start! I've had enough of you always shouting at me.

You're fucking mad.

Do you know what, I don't need you Bobby, I'm actually done!

- Shut your mouth!

- Come on, mate.

- Bobby.

- I think it's wrong really.

No, it wouldn't have happened in my days,

to start arguing on a night like this.

- Sort your daughter out, Pat, she's drunk.

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

[camera shutters]

- Alright Mark, are they alright?

- Yeah, they're going really well.

- Let me look.

- Hello, Dan, you all right?

- Hi girls, you all right?

- You didn't come to get in one of these bikinis did you?

- No, not yet, no. - No?

- They look great though, don't they?

- They do, yeah.

- I like the pom poms on Geri's.

- Geri's like that, she's very creative like that.

Any, any dress or outfit she gets.

- She has to change it a little bit to her own way.

- She has to change it, that's it.

And we thought that since we brought the calendar out

and whatever, we've got loads of inquiries

for photo shoots for magazines and all sorts.

- Oh okay, so there could be a job for me here

with you girls, would you like that?

Aw, that would be great.

- Well I would, because I can't cope with all this.

- So basically, I'd be helping you look after the girls,

is that what we're thinking?

- Yeah, you'll be looking after them.

- Yeah, I'd be looking after them.

- I need to shed that responsibility.

People don't fully understand what the Honeys are about.

You get it, so you get the job as well, perfect.

- I'm excited, oh, so I've got the job then?

- Course you have.

- Oh my god, I'm going to have to celebrate.

- Yeah, we'll definitely have to celebrate.

- Definitely have to celebrate, I'm excited.

- Let's start off with one of our Fridays in here.

- Yeah, definitely.

[rock music]

- Do you know I've just been so low,

I haven't got a problem with Danni,

I wanna go and speak to her, I mean, let's be honest,

we're never gonna be best mates

and making friendship bracelets.

Let's not kid ourselves.

- You never know. - But we could be civil.

And work on that.

I'm not gonna go in guns blazing,

but then I'm not gonna stop the pet shop to go

and get her the milk tray, and a comfy bed.

Chuck in a toy.

We've got mutual friends, and it's easier in life

to smile at someone, than it is to frown,

do you know what I mean?

- I'm sure you don't feel good about yourself

rowing with her. - No.

- And, you best not buy it, because it makes you

look like a bastard as well, to be fair.

[hopeful music]

- I used to go out with no strip lashes on

and just my normal eyelashes and mascara,

my eyes must have looked like this.

- Yeah, you used to do that didn't you?

- Yeah, I used to do that.

Yeah, but now, I think like, you feel braver.

- They open up your eyes, they do.

- They make such a difference.

- I'm glad we're going out tonight, I need a night out.

- I think it'll be funny, I think recently,

the boys have been having

too many boy's nights out for my liking.

I think it's our turn. - Yeah.

- They're out all the time, don't you think?

- That's true, actually,

we haven't had a proper girl's night out in ages.

- See what I mean? - Bring it on.

- Yeah. - Cheers.

- So, how's things with you and Ricky?

- Oh, alright, not the best.

He's like really lovely and stuff,

but I just find that he's always,

always round little Chris's,

I don't know why he just loves being round there.

Or he won't make the effort to be like,

it's always like we'll see each other

and it'll be a last minute thing, it's never like--

- Planning something to do something.

- Yeah, and I just feel like,

and recently things started to get a bit too much and--

- Youse two are still such a current couple,

Like me and Joey are, even like what you and Greg are.

You've been going out for just over a year.

He should still want to spend that time

with you at the weekend other than his friends

because he's seeing them in the week all the time.

- I'm not going mad, am I, you would be the same?

- I feel like I'm a burden, and I shouldn't feel like that.

- What are you gonna say to him, though,

when you confront him? - Literally not a clue.

'Cause like I said, nothing comes out right.

To him, it's gonna seem like I'm making a massive deal

out of this, and he's gonna be really angry

that I've even spoke to people about it,

but it's because it's for me, inside,

it's hurting me now, and it's gotten to the point--

- And if you feel you can't really talk to him about it,

you're gonna talk to your friends about it.

- But you have to say to him,

stop acting like an immature brat, and listen to me.

- He is a brat. - That's what I mean.

- I think all boys are brats in general.

- If he loves you like he says he does he'll understand.

He'll make more time for you.

He won't, like, he won't do all this all the time.

- And you're only trying to, like,

you're only trying to make it better

so you do have a future together,

otherwise you're going to be unhappy, he'll be unhappy,

and then you'll end up breaking up.

So you need to talk to to him.

You need to man up, Jess.

[cars driving]

- Hello girls! - [Group] Hello, hi!

- Oh my god, I've had the maddest day ever

and Cara has got stuck in London.

We've been all like organising our christening

and it's sort of going from one thing to another,

we're just having a bit of a nightmare with it,

she is stuck in London and couldn't get back in time,

so she apologises that she is not here.

- So netball girls, here we are.

- Finally having our drink.

- Not that we've even won a game,

and we're all having a drink.

- We've played one and lost one.

- I've got a very big match coming up,

I've told the girls, that's all I'm going to say,

I'm not going to let the cat out of the bag.

- She won't tell us anything.

- We need to all be matching, 'cause we can't go there,

I'm not being funny, we turned up last time

and we actually looked like we can't play,

we've got to like have all the gear and no idea,

we've got to look the part, and as long as we look the part,

come on, we're known for doing that,

at least we look like we know what we're doing, you know.

- So Lucy, how does it feel not to have the ring on?

- Oh, my god!

- Weird.

So, I've gotten my nails done again.

I've still got a tan line, I've still got a tan line on it.

- Are you not engaged? Are you not engaged?

- No, we're not engaged. - Girlfriend again.

- You don't seem very sad about it.

- I'm not sad, I'm happy. - I would be so sad.

- I'm happy, and do you know what, I've realised

that I don't even know if I ever wanna get married.

- Really?

- Oh, Mario would not be happy.

- But is it because you don't want to marry Mario

or is it because you don't want to get married?

Is it because of all the shit you're going through with--

- You've had a hard time. - I have had a lot.

But we've come out the end, and we're loads happier now.

- See I love it, I can't wait to get married.

- Me too, I'm looking forward,

but I think everyone's different.

- I would like a crystal ball, and think,

I know that I'm gonna get married and be happy,

and if I knew that, then I'd be like,

right, I can relax now.

- So who's next, who's getting engaged next?

- Do you reckon you and Joey will?

- We will, but not yet.

Like, I...

We spoke about marriage since the day we got together,

like it's for me, it's like I feel like a little girl,

do you know, it's like a fairy tale.

But, as much as we talk about it,

is as much as we know we're not ready yet.

But if he offers to marry me I'd say yes straight away.

[intense electronic music]

[laughing]

- Yet again, you've set me up with stupid...

Well, she's not stupid.

You've set me up with silly blind dates,

and you've screwed me over with Gemma.

- You had Jasmine, yeah, nice body, nice boobs,

everything, really nice, like, could have taken her home,

but you went for Gemma, wonderful,

wonderful lady, but WTF, man.

- Since then do you know what's happened?

- What?

- Gemma all of a sudden now thinks,

because of you and your antics,

that we are getting back together and we're in love.

Right, this is what I've been getting recently.

- [Phone Voicemail] Next message, sent yesterday at42AM.

- [Gemma] [recording] I'm in my flat

and I've got the heating on 30 and I really,

really would give anything for you to be here tonight.

Love you so much.

I do really miss you and...

Oh, my god, if you play this to anyone

I'm going to kill you.

[laughing]

- All right, girls. - Hello, you all right?

- Oh, Maz!

- I've come to take you away from the girls,

I've got a surprise for you.

[laughing and cheering]

- That's a bit kinky, Mario, this thing.

- Silky. - Put it on!

- My lashes, I'm wearing my lashes!

- Are you serious? - [Mario] Yeah, I know.

All right. - All right, bye girls!

- [Girls] Bye!

- [Mario] It's all right girls, sorry.

- Bye, guys.

- Sorry girls, enjoy your night.

- The group's getting smaller by the minute.

- Mario's king of the big gestures, isn't he?

Boat proposal... - Yeah.

- When you fuck up so many times,

you've gotta make up for it somehow.

[laughing]

- That wasn't the only message.

- [Phone Voicemail] Sent yesterday 2PM.

- All right, there's more. - Shh!

[Gemma singing indistinctly over voicemail]

- The stiletto.

[laughing]

[vocalising]

She's good, isn't she?

- [Phone Voicemail] End of message.

- Oh, mate.

- So basically, everything you've said and done,

and 'cause I was drunk, that's where this lead to.

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

- Hey. - Hello.

- What's going on? - I haven't seen you in ages.

- Nah, not been about.

- I think our cab is here, isn't it?

See you later. Bye.

- Good night, girls.

You all right?

- Yeah, you?

- Yeah, I've come to pick you up.

- Last one? - No, I'm all right, thanks.

- Haven't you been thinking about me and you

and why we've not spoken about all the shit last night?

- You went off in a little huff and that and...

You know what I mean, didn't even know what was going on.

- We went out for dinner with Lucy and Mario

and Little Chris and you were at the bar

telling Little Chris that you don't

spend enough time with him.

- What? - Might it--

- I told him that he was under the thumb

I said I would like to see you more.

- Yeah. - Wow.

- You weren't saying that to me.

- because of the last couple of weeks,

I haven't seen him at all. - Okay, look.

- All right?

- You love me to bits and I love you to bits

and you don't mean any harm

and I think you try your best but I am upset.

- Think we're in different places.

- Yeah, totally different places.

- I think, I think-- - You wanted a relationship.

- I wanted a relationship, all right?

- You weren't ready for it.

- But I didn't want this relationship, all right?

- Well, I'm on the same path as you, babe.

- No, you're not. - I just wanna have fun.

- We were not having fun! - No, we're not.

Because every time I see you it's a burden.

- It's not a burden. - Yes it is, Ricky.

- It's not a burden. - All right.

- All right, well it is a burden,

whatever you want to call it.

- There's not much more to say.

We want, we both want different things,

your idea of a relationship is different to mine.

- I thought I was ready.

- But you weren't.

- I'm just obviously not.

like because if what we're doing isn't working,

but to me it is, and to you it isn't, then--

- It isn't working to you. - It's me!

- You know that I'm not happy.

- It's the fact that I in my own head,

do you know what I mean,

I'm not mentally ready to be there 5 days a week

and be there all the time,

like I don't think I'm ready for that...

Well, you know.

[sad music]

- Hold this a little bit. - Oh, my god!

[laughing]

- Are you being serious, Lucy, are you being serious?

- I can't see anything!

- [laughing] What are you doing?

All right, all right, all right, come here.

I'll go behind you. - No!

Oh, fuck off. - Scooch forward.

Scooch forward. - Mario, no!

- Stand still, okay? - [laughing] Yes.

Oh, my god.

Aw.

Come on then, aw, it's so pretty.

Oh, what's in the middle?

[giggling]

Oh, my god!

For me?

- Not yet.

I'm gonna go in goal and you're going to take a shot,

if you beat me you get the present.

- Give me the stick.

[sticks clattering]

I've seen the Mighty Ducks.

All right, I'm gonna go a little bit closer.

- All right, watch my face.

- Ready? - Yeah.

- Oh, shit! - What the fuck was that?

- Wait, let me do it again, let me do it again!

- More at my face.

- Yes!

- Don't fall over.

- Can I have my present now?

- All you care about is your present.

- Yeah.

[laughing]

Oh my god, they are amazing.

- Yeah? - They're amazing.

I love them. - Yeah?

[kisses]

- Can I take my skates off now?

- Not yet.

At the end of the day that's all I'm all about,

is always about having flash things

like the cars, the money, the watches,

if all of that was to go tomorrow I wouldn't care,

if you was to go tomorrow it would be the end of my world.

- I love you.

- I love you more.

- Aw.

- Even though you can't skate.

- Oh my god!

I love you too, I literally can't let go.

I literally can't let go!

[upbeat music]

- Need a drink, man!

- I'll get you a drink if you want.

- Actually, no I can't drink,

because I'm going to pick up Sam after this.

- Why are you picking up Sam?

- I thought we was having man time.

- Yeah, supposed to be boys night.

- She's with the netball,

but she asked me to go and pick her up,

so I thought I would go pick her up,

and she's having a drink tonight.

I'll probably end up getting in the car,

you know, she'll probably have a go at me.

- What, are you rowing at the moment a lot?

- No, I dunno like, we're having arguments and stuff,

but I don't really like talking about it, man.

- Joe, are you all right?

You all right?

- Don't worry about it, man.

- Come on, mate.

Listen, every couple rows.

- I know what it's like.

It's been like this for so long, mate, and you just...

Don't worry about it mate, I promise you,

every couple rows, and you and Sam don't even row that much.

- You don't understand man, you don't understand,

we're rowing and I don't want to split up.

- It doesn't mean you're going to split up mate,

it don't mean you're going to split up.

This doesn't mean you're going to split up,

this doesn't mean it's the end mate,

you don't know what's happened yet,

you don't know this is going to happen.

- It's killing me, man.

- I know, but you don't know what's gonna happen, mate.

This isn't it.

What's the right thing to do, that's it.

- You'll be able to sort things out mate, if she's saying,

you know she loves you as well,

you just ain't getting on at the minute.

Like I said, I think it's just you see each other too much.

- It ain't man, I love her, I don't want anything,

I don't want anything.

I don't want to split up.

I want to back the way it used to.

- You don't have to split up, mate,

I'm not saying you have to split,

that's not what I'm saying at all mate,

because you can sort this out, you can sort this out.

- Yeah, but I try to sort it out all the time.

- I know, but this is where this comes to an end,

this is where you got to give her a decision,

we can either sort this out or this isn't going to work.

- He ain't going to stay in a relationship

all his life if he ain't happy.

- Mate, I'm in love with her mate, what am I meant to do?

[dramatic music]