Original subtitles

boy fun, and the survival of the fittest.

As always, the tans you see might be fake

but the people are all real,

although some of what they do has been set up

purely for you entertainment.

Previously on The Only Way Is Essex.

- How do you describe my looks?

- My friend is chubby.

- Joe, you love Joe.

- The anxiety takes side tonight.

It happens all the time,

but I want to say something to sort it out.

- They're normal messages, there's nothing in them.

- If I was in your situation I'd burn out.

- I just been stick out for you

so don't you dare ever go there.

No, I'm not even hanging around to get upset.

It's ain't fucking worth it,

she ain't fucking worth it.

You ain't fucking worth it sometimes.

[upbeat music]

[laughter]

- And at the end of the day,

as long as you're, I suppose you're arguing about silly,

like not silly little things, but you know,

but it's when you start arguing about things like, I dunno,

the whole Mario and Lucy and what they argue about.

- The pair them are a joke.

- So what there was

a little bit of err porky pie tales?

- The thing that I couldn't understand is

when that Sugar Hut Honey walked in

and Lucy turned round and said,

"I've seen the messages and they're not that bad."

If Joey then even message anyone,

let alone a Sugar Hut Honey,

I don't care what the message said.

- [Gemma] I don't well, no.

- I don't know if it's 'cause I'm a gay man,

but what are these Sugar Hut Honeys doing?

- Yeah, what do they do?

- Is it Spearmint Rhino for Brentwood?

- I think they're meant to be his girlfriends,

'cause if he doesn't want them texting other guys

and he wants them to be.

- But he ain't Hugh Heffner,

and the minute someone tells ya,

the better your life's gonna be.

- Why don't you tell him, you really?

- I don't like the man enough,

I actually can't stand Mick if I'm being honest,

just Ags the life out of me,

who he think he's talking about my relationship with James,

I've always supported your nightclub,

don't talk about my relationship.

Who do you think you are?

Do one mate, do one.

- Mmm.

- And take Mario with ya.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- Have some scallops, they're lovely.

- What, they come in a shell?

- Yeah.

[upbeat music]

- I used to love working down here,

I got sacked by the geezer.

- What did you get sacked for?

- I wasn't doing my job properly.

[laughter]

That's not funny.

- Aw, you got sack.

[upbeat music]

- It's good that, isn't it.

- Yeah I like it down here, it's nice.

- I think it's romantic.

- Joe, it's not romantic.

It's nice to bring me somewhere

where like you used to be all the time.

- Yeah, like my past.

Who'd think you would meet like an ex-fish boy?

- No, I didn't really grab someone who work for fish.

Like you're the once mate,

I wouldn't got with anyone else ever again.

- Well I never thought I'd fall in love like this.

Like, you're the one for me,

I never thought I'd be with anyone else in my life.

I always tell you that anyway.

- I know, I always tell you it too.

- I wanna be with you for forever.

- Aw.

- I mean it as well, you know that?

- Mm, I love you so much.

- I love you so much.

Aw, romantic turnout at the fish market.

[laughter]

[kissing]

[laughter]

Hey!

- [Man] Oh hey!

- Hey!

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- I don't know why we didn't do lunch

in a sophisticated wine bar, Chris.

- We could've done something like go-karting,

something like paint balling.

- If this is what you wanna do

as the birthday boy, job done.

- Yeah, exactly.

- 25 mate.

Oh look at Mario getting red,

topping us all already, aren't you?

- I feel like a Power Ranger.

[laughter]

- These are like the Ferrari of ski boots.

- Really, look like a broken down Fiat.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- Enjoy yourself mate.

- It's actually all right.

Ooh!

It's actually all right.

Ooh!

[laughter]

- [Chris] It's alright?

- It's alright!

- Ski straight!

- What, babe?

- [Instructor] Ski straight!

- Me, ski straight, are you sure?

I can't even think straight!

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- [Little Chris] Here he comes!

[laughter]

- You couldn't have even planned that if he tried!

- Thank you.

- Oh well, here he is, he's down here now.

- Well done boy.

- I done it.

- You look profesh.

- [Little Chris] Oi oi, Rick!

- What's happening!

- Oh it's it, oh look at him.

Oh he's a pro isn't he.

Oh my god.

- Shut up.

- [Little Chris] Oh, my God.

- We haven't seen you!

- I thought I'd bring your present.

- Are you my present?

- I am the present!

- Where you been?

- Oh, you know, just sunning it up,

getting in trouble, doing my thing.

- [Little Chris] Yeah?

- [Mario] How's things with Jess?

- Yeah, it's good.

It's actually really good.

Last time it was all getting a bit, in a bit of a bad place,

but we're actually, we're really good now.

You know, I might even, you know,

maybe ask her to move in, you never know.

- Oh, don't be silly.

- I know, but I was just thinking about it,

I've got a new TV,

and I've got no-one to watch it with.

- [Mario] Invite us around!

- The invites are open to you all the time.

- Rick.

- You do not need a bird turning up

round your house 24/7 mate.

- I know.

- Chris wishes he could have that.

- But you've done it.

You've done it and it seems pretty all right.

- Yeah.

[laughter]

- No, yeah, well it was just a thought.

- No, seriously where have you been?

[laughter]

- I've been ringing this girl.

Dating online and I don't know.

- It could be a weirdo.

I don't know even know her number either.

[gasps]

There's a message.

[phone ringing]

- [Woman On Phone] Hello?

- Hello?

- No, let me speak.

Is that you, Emma?

No, Danielle, sorry.

- [Woman On Phone] Do I know you?

- It's Johnny Essex.

- [Woman On Phone] All right.

- Do you live in Scotland?

- [Woman On Phone] Yeah I do.

- Wonderful isn't it?

I'm sitting with my mate, Arg.

Do you wanna talk to him?

- [Woman on Phone] Sure.

- Go on.

- You're all right?

[laughter]

- [Woman On Phone] Hi.

- Or is it Danielle?

- [Woman On Phone] Yes, Danielle.

- No, I think Joe thought you was Emma,

but obviously you're not.

- [Woman On Phone] No, I'm Danielle.

- She didn't tell me she had a buzz.

- What I was gonna say Danielle,

so did you set yourself up on the dating website,

or did one of your mates do it for you?

- [Danielle] No, I did it.

- Oh you did it yourself?

- [Danielle] Yeah.

- Oh, okay.

Have you ever actually had any dates from it yet?

- [Danielle] Um, no.

Not at all.

- Not one?

- [Danielle] No, not one.

- Are you lookin for one?

[laughter]

- [Danielle] Maybe.

- The thing is obviously we live in Essex,

so would you be willing to come all the way down here?

- [Danielle] Damn right I would.

- Huh?

- [Danielle] Damn right I would.

- Damn right you would?

- [Danielle] Yeah.

- All right listen,

me and Joey we gotta go 'cause we got

an important business meeting.

- [Danielle] Yeah, no problem.

- But, listen we'll be in contact over the next few days,

and then hopefully we'll arrange you to come down here.

All right, nice speaking to you.

- [Danielle] Yeah, you too.

- Bye, Danielle, bye.

- [Danielle] Okay, bye.

- Bye.

[laughter]

- Boy, we just made.

- Listen, I don't know what would I wear for her.

- If I was you, I would wear some of these like,

don't wear your suit trousers.

Dress like me, like skinny jeans.

Trust me mate, you'd look sick.

- Have you seen my thighs?

- Mate, you don't know yet, just.

[laughter]

- Have you seen my thighs?

- [Joe] Well, it's funny don't it?

- When I wear normal jeans they look like skinny jeans.

- I'll take you shopping.

All right, I'll take you shopping for once.

- [Arg] All right, cool.

- All right, I'll take you shopping,

and I'll sort you out.

Pair of Ugg boots, everything.

- I'm not wearing Ugg boots.

- All right, I'll buy you a pair of trainers,

do some Fusey Turners,

you got to dress like me for the day, it'd be sick.

- All right, I'll dress up.

- It's your fancy, it's all right.

- All right, cool.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- Lucy.

- Lyd.

- How you feeling?

- I'm okay, you?

- I can understand that he's not done anything wrong,

if he's text a girl but it's like.

- It is wrong.

- This is continuous Lucy.

This isn't one time, is it?

- The first thing I text him was

"The hardest thing for me, Mario,

"is if I let you off this

"and in ten years time we've got kids,

"and loads more to lose, we're married, we've got kids,

"and then I find it again," and all he says is like,

"Well, just have a break from it,"

or like leave him and see how you feel.

I can't do that, that's what frustrates me.

I live with him, the dogs are there,

I have nowhere to go 'cause my dad's moved house

so I don't have a bedroom at home anymore.

I physically have nowhere to go.

- You can come stay with me.

- I can't stay with you, Lyd, cos it's not.

- Yes, you can.

- It's just not the same like,

I can't just come and stay with you,

I'd rather just get away completely.

I know this isn't right, I'm not a stupid little girl

'cause I've been through so much crap with other guys.

He has done wrong,

but he has not cheated on me, he's not physically cheated,

but he needs to sort that out by himself

and I need to get away from it.

I need to get away from our flat

and he needs to sort his issues out,

and prove to me he's sorted it out,

and also I'm not having him seeing Mick any more

'cause I'm sick of it.

Mick is a wealthy old guy that's single,

and has loads of whatever they're called round him.

- Sugar Hut Honeys.

- Oh shut up, don't tell me that word.

[laughter]

I just think he thinks

it's just a little bit of banter texting like girls,

it's not a bit of banter.

- He doesn't think it's an issue

and he thinks you're overreacting.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Do you want me to call him then?

[dramatic music]

- Yeah.

[phone ringing]

[dramatic music]

- Hello?

- Mario?

- [Mario] Hi, Lyd.

- You okay?

- Not too bad, you?

- Yes, I'm good, I'm just with Lucy.

- All right.

How is she?

- She's very, very upset Mario as you can imagine,

because she feels like that maybe you don't think,

you think that she's overreacting.

- I don't think she's overreacting at all.

I think if I've upset her,

then there's nothing to overreact about is there?

- She loves you a lot.

She's asked me to say all this

because she finds it hard talking to you about everything,

but she feels, and I've said to her as well,

that it's got to the point where it's like enough's enough

and she's had to go through this before,

and where is the line drawed?

Are you admitting to yourself

that what you are doing is wrong?

- Of course.

- So you know that it's wrong?

So what are you gonna do to stop yourself

from doing this in the future Mario,

because it's getting to a point

where it's like I'm like having to see her upset

every month because of the same thing.

- Every month?

I think you're overreacting there cos it's not every month,

that's bollocks.

- Well, it's not every month, but it is happening,

it has happened before, hasn't it?

- Yeah, but Lydia, see here's the thing,

this is the one thing I'm saying she's overreacting about

is the fact that the message that was sent before

and the ones that was sent seven months ago,

were a completely different sort of message,

completely different sort of message.

The messages she's found out

are not the same sort of messages,

so saying it's the same sort of thing

is completely out of order

because it's not the same sort of thing.

- But no matter what the message says,

the matter of the fact is

that you're still talking to other girls

and if it was vice versa,

maybe you saw Lucy talking to.

- Yeah, if there's a lot of things

vice versa in the past though, Lydia,

we wouldn't still be together.

- But you have forgived her for that.

- So what does she want me to do then?

- [Lydia] She can't.

- Lyd, Lyd, Lyd, Lyd, Lyd.

I'm not being funny like,

I'm talking to my girlfriend through you,

so what exactly does she want me to do?

- Lyd, put him on loud.

- I think, wait there.

I think that basically what she wants

is she wants this,

why do you do it?

- I don't know, Lyds, but the thing is,

like, last time it was completely different.

It's just of me having the banter about

football, Arsenal and Spurs,

it's only because the girl is half decent looking

that it's a problem,

if it was some fat munter she wouldn't care.

- But I think.

- It's all good, I'll stand here right now

and tell you on the phone,

I just need to tell Lucy right now, I won't do it again.

She hung up on me.

- All he does is turn it on me.

I made a mistake with an ex, that's a year ago,

if he's not over it, why did he take me back?

Every time he does something wrong,

all he uses, he uses that against me.

- And what is it, that he's just trying to get revenge

because of what you did to him?

Is that what it is?

- No, the last time was revenge,

but this isn't revenge now, this is too far.

[upbeat music]

- Do you like him?

- Yeah.

- You never ride him in a minute.

- Yeah.

- Have you seen this bling as well, look.

- Where?

- When you're in Essex

and you have ponies and horses in Essex,

you get these bridals with the bling on it.

- Mhm.

- Yeah?

- Look at Mary's.

- All right, how are ya?

- How are you walking with them horses, mate?

Scare me a bit.

- Hello, Mase.

- [Mason] Huh?

- And Kirk?

- Hello, Holly.

- Holly.

Who is this?

Tell Mason and Kirk.

- Marley.

- Marley, yeah.

- How old is Marley?

- Four.

- He's four isn't he?

He's big, isn't it?

- They do what they want.

- It's got a moustache.

- Ah, they're talking.

- Got longer than you dad.

- Gonna take him for a walk around Mase with Holly?

- Oh, yeah, cool.

- You're gonna go off with Mason.

- [Mason] You wanna come Holly?

- Let's see if he can find a four leaf clover.

Put you down?

[horse neighs]

- Yeah.

- Hold Holly's hand.

Just keep away from his feet Mase please.

- You got bright knees in your end of woods.

- I love it mate, this is a bit me in it.

- All right, how's it going on?

She like the horse?

- Yeah she loves it.

- I've thought about the whole anxiety thing.

- Yeah?

- And how.

- What we was talking about the other day?

- Yeah, cos it is a big thing

and I obviously progress with you now work wise

and I know the next step for me.

I can't even go, it's not just Lauren,

I can't see any exes without having this problem.

- Good you haven't got a lot then, isn't it?

- I think it's chipping away at me as a person, you know,

bit by bit it's taking a bit away from me.

So I found this guy

and he's going to,

and he's gonna, he's like a healer he is.

He lays you down and he talks to you,

and he digs right deep in your brain.

- It's a little a bit like a hypnotist?

- But I think it's good for me to do that,

to take another, it's like my last step

of becoming a full man, do you know what I mean?

- Is Kirk, a good brother?

- Nos.

- He isn't?

That ain't nice, it's well nice brother.

- No, 'cause remember when I was knocking on his door

and he said, "Go away!"

- No, he has to sleep that's why.

He's always out and he always starts to sleep.

He's been like Father Christmas.

- Yeah.

- Father Christmas sleeps all day,

all night until Christmas.

- Yeah.

- When he goes out doesn't he?

- Mhm.

- It's slightly embarrassing and childish for me

that I can't see people and get, do you know what I mean,

I try to talk to people and I get anxiety attacks.

It's not right.

- And then you say things

that you probably wouldn't necessarily say?

- Yeah, the only reasons sometimes

I used to shout and get angry

is cos when I get anxiety, mate

I can't breathe, my chest feels like it's about to explode,

so hopefully if I see this guy, you know,

and it might make me serious as a person

cos I know I've got the will now,

I wanna work my arse off.

- You just need a bit of confidence back that's what it is.

- I think that is it, I think that's it,

I lack confidence, you know?

- These are the sorts of things

that you can only help yourself with,

so I'm proud of you doing things like that

and obviously coming back and getting yourself stuck

into what we're doing, it's good.

- I like it, thank you very much.

- Keep it going, son.

- See, that makes me feel a bit better inside,

a little bit of well done.

- To get praise, you've gotta

be doing the right things isn't it?

- I wanna.

- Good boy, come on in.

[groans]

Alright?

- Go jump on them horse, Ray Mears.

- I will do.

[upbeat dance music]

[laughter]

- You looking forward to the date I've got you tonight?

- What you mean?

- I helped you out in every way,

I even put you on a dating website,

and you still didn't get no birds.

- Alright, don't rub it in!

- Not even no, not even no messages pretty much.

[laughter]

- Alright, calm down.

- I'm going to 100% do it now, I've got you one.

I've got you a date, sorted.

She might be on her way.

- Where have you found her from?

- Doesn't matter, she's a nice girl, right?

- What is it someone you're trying to set me up with

that knows me already?

Or what is it?

- It's just some girl

I just think will get on with you, that's it.

Are you looking forward to it?

- Well not really.

I'm going on a date tonight I don't even know her name is,

I don't even know what she looks like,

I don't even know what her personality is like,

and I don't even know how you got her

to come on a date with me.

I don't know where she's from, I don't know anything!

- Yeah, but I do.

- Is she fit?

- She's your type.

- Which means what?

- Which means salty potato.

- So she's fit?

- So she's salty potato.

- She's salty potato,

so she's naturally pretty with dark hair, yeah?

- No, it doesn't matter what colour hair she's got.

She might even be ginger it wouldn't matter.

- Is she clever?

- Okay, I'm not telling you anything.

- Does she got a good job or what?

- I'm not gonna tell ya.

It's basically a blind date,

but all I'm saying is when you do see her

the first thing you say is, "Hello,"

not, "Can I have kiss on the lips?"

- Yeah, I know that Joey!

- Oi, give me a kiss man, ah.

- I don't do that!

- At the end of the day right,

I've sorted you out a date.

You didn't do anything about it.

You could have done something about this.

You could have.

- Joe, I haven't had very long, have I?

- You have.

Yeah, but you're the one that everyday is saying

that you want what me and Sam have.

That's what you want, yeah?

Tonight if you don't like the girl, you don't like her.

- [Arg] Alright so if.

- But at least I've got you out on a date.

You happy?

- It's true, yeah.

- Tonight, just have your head screwed on

and don't muck up, all right?

- No, I won't muck up.

- Don't wear a suit Arg,

it's embarrassing.

- Well, it's the only thing that fits me at the moment.

- I think he's trying too hard.

- Listen at the moment I look pregnant.

I've got bigger boobs than most girls.

- Yeah, but what the question is,

will you have bigger boobs than this girl?

- Don't up my confidence.

I'm going on a date tonight.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- Alright?

- Yeah, you?

- Yep.

Yeah, I didn't like

what you said on the phone really.

- Well, Lydia shouldn't have called me anyway.

- I asked her to call, well I didn't even have to ask,

said maybe someone else should speak to him

because he needs to understand

cos you think I was over reacting.

- Did you really think that I wanted Lydia Rose Bright

to call me and tell me to understand her?

- Mario, you're not listening to me.

The reason I got her to phone you

was to hear from another girl.

- I don't need to hear from another girl,

I'll ask my mum I'll ask my sisters.

I don't need to hear from Lydia.

In the future, Lydia hasn't got to call me about anything.

I don't care.

It's our relationship, it's our problem.

I'll talk to you about it.

- The more of the point of the conversation was to,

you to understand that how much it hurt me.

You started to texting me saying,

"Oh, but you both overreacted."

"Like what's wrong with me bantering a girl?"

Everything's wrong with you bantering a girl

when it's about them being in a leotard.

- Okay.

- [Lucy] And you don't see that's wrong.

- No, I do think that's wrong, Lucy, I'm here.

I'm saying fucking sorry.

Do you know what I mean?

You keep saying to me, "Oh you don't think you're sorry.

"You don't think you've done anything wrong."

I've said to about a million people I've done wrong.

All the boys, don't think I've done wrong.

I've said to the boys, "No, I've done wrong."

- The boys don't think you've done wrong?

- No, they don't.

- Well, you need to get new mates then.

- Well, you need to get mates, don't nag.

- Why are you putting it back on me?

- [Mario] I'm not putting it back on you, I've said sorry.

- If your friends can't see that's wrong!

- No, I've said sorry.

I have said sorry.

Don't you dare start crying.

- [Lucy] Oh my God!

- Do not dare start crying, Lucy.

- I don't want to cry!

Do you really think I want to cry?

I don't want to cry, no, I don't want to cry,

but I've stuck up for you so much,

and I wanna, and I know, and everyone though,

and Lydia's like, "Why are you sticking up for him?"

I'm like, "'Cause I love him and I want to be with him."

- Don't always listen to Lydia,

Lydia doesn't know what she's talking about.

That's why I don't like Lydia.

I don't like Lydia.

- You do like, Lydia, Mario.

You're just angry at her, but she's my friend and she's.

- She's a prick.

Fucking busy prick.

Can't stand her, I really can't stand her.

It's like with this whole thing,

like you obviously, you talk to Lyd,

'cause Lyd's your best friend, right?

With me yeah, I talk to Ricky and Chris about it

and all that sort of stuff,

but I don't see them as being my best friends.

I see you as being my best friend.

Yes, I'm in the wrong,

but it's not the worst thing in the world.

I think yeah, I've upset you,

I think the thing that I've done,

the most thing I've done wrong,

is the fact that I deleted the messages.

Cos there was nothing in the messages,

but it's the fact that I kept it from you,

which is the thing that is bad,

and I understand that.

- How would I know that you'd never do it again?

- That's for you to decide.

You may sit there and think

that I don't think I'm in the wrong,

but I know I'm in the wrong.

- I don't want you seeing Mick anymore, that's it.

- I don't care if I don't get to see Mick any more,

if it makes you happy I will never see Mick again.

It doesn't bother me.

At the end of the day, I think that Mick's

all sticking us in the back with this one anyway.

Because I think that if that girl went to him,

he should have just said,

"Yeah I'll speak to Mario."

He should have dismissed it himself

and then that would have been it, but yeah.

- But then I would have never known.

- You would have known, 'cause I would have told you.

It's up to you what happens now.

I wouldn't mind going away you for a couple of days,

I don't care if you and Lyd have arranged it,

I'm sure you can arrange it,

I'm sure that it's not booked yet.

So I think for us it would be a good thing,

and it could be a way of me making it up to you as well.

- I don't know.

- Okay.

- I'll stay at home tonight,

but tomorrow I'm going away with Lyd.

- Okay, if that's what you want.

- Stop picking your trainers,

they're Jimmy Choo for God sake.

- Oh hello, stranger!

- [Mick] Hello Deb.

This is Scrappy.

About a baby really.

Obviously I was a little bit put out

when you was talking about

me looking at girls' boobs

and all those interested in these young girls and boobs and.

- [Debbie] No, actually.

- And I haven't got it in me anymore and all that?

- Would you preferred me to say, "Yes?"

- Well I haven't slept with any of them.

- Well exactly.

That's exactly what I said.

"Don't think he's slept with all of them

"'cause he hasn't got the energy."

- All of them?

- [Debbie] But that's what I said.

- Well, I haven't slept with any of em

and I don't intend to.

- But I'm not saying it because I think you're old, Mick.

- Some people look at it

and they have this concept

of what they think might be going on and all that,

but it is literally just,

it's a business thing for us, you know what I mean?

It's about promoting my business.

How many girls have you known me to be with?

- Well I haven't really.

I don't know any girls you've been with.

I mean that's the whole point.

- I am a very private person.

I just hope you still got that opinion of me.

[upbeat music]

- Ah, here we go.

- That's not very nice.

- No, you alright?

Come on in.

- Right I'm not happy with you, James.

Stop going around Essex slandering my name.

[laughter]

James, I've slept with three people in my whole life

and I'm 31,

and why have you put yourself on the Internet?

- [Arg] I didn't put myself on the Internet.

- That's embarrassing

and everything you ask for,

"Oh, bubbly, fun, loves the theatre."

That's me.

- Joey did it for a laugh,

and I've joined in and it's just a bit of banter

with the boys, it's a bit of fun.

What you've got to remember Gemma,

I am single at the moment.

It's alright for you, you've got Rammi, and you know,

everyone else is coupled up and whatever.

- But you wouldn't have be single

if you hadn't dumped me.

- But I didn't want to be with you, Gemma any more, did I?

And why is there no leads with my PlayStation either?

You just brought the PlayStation and the controller,

there's no leads.

[relaxing music]

- Okay Kirk, you can come in, please.

- [Kirk] Mate, see you in a minute.

Michael.

- Good to see you.

- And you too my man.

Thank you very much.

- Everything we experience in our lives

has an effect on how we behave.

You know, I always try to look at the personality.

You know, if you get anxiety,

if you get agitation for whatever reason,

we need to try and identify where all of that stems from.

- So it started from something?

- It has to start from something

and then something triggers it.

Okay, so Kirk what I wanna do now is

check the energy system and see how that energy is flowing.

So we'll just get you to stand up here for a moment.

- Stand up.

- Yeah.

So the whole idea is to feel,

so I'm feeling the energy here.

So what I want to do is release it.

[laughter]

- I'm drunk.

- But it is often strange to feel that shift of.

So where you get the pressure in the chest now

I wanna try and.

Once I've make a connection with the energy

where it's blocked,

now.

- It's weird, isn't it, is weird,

'cause you're not even touching me.

- What's happening is the cold is the energy releasing,

the heat is the blood flow.

- Right, cool.

- All of this can be measured, scientifically.

It's not what I've got to.

- What is your feeling then?

What, what?

- Yeah, I just feel, it's like a magnet,

it's like, you know, like a little static in the area,

and then I know once I can,

these are the release valves that are all blocked.

So once I can release that.

- It feels weird.

Makes you want to walk out and just kick your heels,

a little bit happier.

Do you know what I mean?

- And you should do that if you feel that going out,

because that's what people need to do.

- Thank you very much, Michael.

It is a pleasure, it really is.

Thank you very much.

- Okay, my friend.

- Thank you.

[upbeat guitar music]

- Oh my God!

- You ready, yeah?

- Sort of.

- Look how hard it's been to get you this date, right?

This has drove me mad.

I've done so much stuff to get you this date.

So you prepared to live up.

- No one knows her job.

No one wants to stay here,

but this person does.

- It's nice to meet someone new.

I'm not looking at it like seriously.

- You should though.

You should get quite serious, it's quite serious thing.

You're like a rotten fish

that everyone just throws back in

because no one wants to be part of you,

but we found somebody.

- Oh my God coming from you!

- Yeah, but.

At the end of the day, I still do my biz.

- I'll tell you one thing, I'll tell you one thing.

Everything you want, this girl has got.

- Shut up and go get her.

- Please, please don't fuck this up.

- Alright!

- [Diags] Just wait, shut up.

- [John] Be two minutes.

[exhales]

- This is, er, Jasmine.

- Hello darling, you all right?

- Hello, how are you?

- Yeah, I'm good thanks.

- Go on Jasmine, you sit there.

- Nice to meat you, you alright?

- How are you, alright?

- I'm good, thank you.

- This is Jasmine, she was in my year at school.

She's 22, same age as me.

[laughter]

He's 24.

- [Diags] Come on, lets go.

[laughter]

- Did you not expect that then?

Just got to go with the flow really.

- Course, you look really nice by the way.

- Thank you.

- How did it come about, um, sort of Joey like,

Joey getting in to contact?

- The thing is though, I know,

obviously I went to school with Joey.

My brother's best friends with his brother Jack.

- Oh right, okay.

- So did you have like a day job or anything like that?

- I used to do radio for a little bit.

- [Jasmine] Yeah.

- But then, I got, I didn't.

- That's really hard.

- But I mean, my dream is to get into the West End.

I do want to be in musical theatre and stuff.

- I went to Sylvia Young's theatre school part time.

- No way!

- Yeah!

- Well when I was a kid, I was part of, like um,

a young operatic and dramatic society.

I won an award once, like a Kenny Award.

- Did you?

- Yeah, they said that's like, um,

Essex's answer to the Oscar.

- Oh my God, so like.

- [Arg] Yeah, so that was pretty cool.

- What did that get you like,

'cause you got that award?

Is it like?

- Um, nah, I just get a little star basically.

- Really?

- Yeah, but I get to keep it so.

- So do you drive or anything?

- Um, no I'm not currently driving at the moment,

but I am learning.

- [Jasmine] Are you?

- Yeah.

Do you drive?

- Yeah.

- [Arg] You've not drived tonight have ya?

- No, that's why I'm drinking.

- Oh good.

[laughter]

[relaxing guitar music]

- I've had that little, you know, thoughts about us

and what we're gonna do

and what we're gonna do in the future and bla bla bla,

and I wanna you know,

show you my sort of commitment and how I feel,

and I sort of wanted to ask you something.

- What?

- I don't know if it's too quick, it doesn't matter,

you know, it's not a big deal, it's no pressure,

if you want to say no, you're gonna say no.

- Yeah, go on, you're scaring me.

- I just wanted to ask you something, you know,

it's up to you, it's a little surprise.

- You're scaring me, what the fuck are you doing?

- I was wondering.

- What the hell are you doing, Rick?

- If you would then.

- Yeah?

- Don't worry, don't worry,

if you'd, um, maybe.

- What?

- Accept a key.

- Oh God.

[laughter]

- I was tricking ya.

- I didn't know what it was going to be.

- No, I know.

It's not even a fact of, like, me asking you to move in.

It's more to give you a key,

and just so you can just come when you want and.

- Ah you're so cute, you don't have to do that though

because they're all like.

- No, no, it's not even that.

It's just like, you're here a lot, and you know,

if I'm out and you're in the area

and you want to come round,

you can help yourself and come in and whatever.

What do you think?

Shall we ask him first?

What do you think?

It's your house too, yeah?

- He loves me more than you, so he definitely would.

- What do you think?

- I think that, like, I don't want you to feel

like you're feeling pressured.

- No, it's not even that,

it's not like I'm asking you to move in.

So it's not like oh.

- Hmm, well yeah, obviously.

- So it's more, its more, just, you know.

A little step.

Rather than a big step.

So you can take it, you can throw it,

you can do whatever you want with it.

- Thank you, that's really sweet,

- You was a bit worried then, weren't ya?

- Well yeah, I was like,

"What the hell are you doing on one knee with a box," but.

- Well it's up to you, you can keep it.

- Cheers, I'll put it in your onesie pocket.

- Oh God, we've got another tenant,

what do you reckon about that?

- Don't say that.

[laughter]

- [Jasmine] It was lovely to meet you.

- [Arg] Yeah, nice to meet you too.

See ya.

- See you later.

- Bye.

See ya.

- How'd you get on?

Do you like it?

- Fuck!

- He's not amazing looking.

- 'Cause his weight?

- You don't think he's amazingly attractive?

- [Jasmine] No.

- [John] Oh.

What's happening?

- How'd that go?

- [John] How's it going?

- I don't know if the date was good or not.

I didn't really make her laugh.

I don't know, I wasn't really my bubbly self.

- There was no sparks there?

- There was no sparks.

- There was no sparks.

[relaxing music]

- Oh my god!

[laughter]

- Naked chef.

[laughter]

It is funny though, isn't it?

[laughter]

Things have been rubbish lately

so I feel this would be

a first step of putting things right.

Me cooking you dinner naked.

Standard.

It's true.

So where are we now though?

Where are me and you now?

Do you want to move forward or not?

- Yes, I want to move forward,

otherwise I would have dumped you, wouldn't I,

when I met you the other day?

- Mhm.

Cos it's literally,

everything lately has been one bad thing after another.

Everything to do with the wedding,

everything to do with the engagement,

and like after hearing what Cara said,

Cara hit the nail on the head.

We were happy,

we were happy before all the engagement stuff.

There was no need for us to get engaged.

I thought we should be engaged it was a bit like

a big commitment thing, but it wasn't.

Do you feel engaged?

- No.

- There you go then, we're not engaged.

I don't feel engaged.

Okay.

Let's just go back to being girlfriend and boyfriend.

It was nice being girlfriend and boyfriend.

- Well what are we going to do about the ring?

- It's up to do you what do with it, baby, it's your ring.

Like I said.

- [Lucy] Yeah, but you bought it.

- I see the whole engagement thing

being completely different,

and I think that ring now for me,

today finding out all that sort of stuff,

and me finding out all that sort of stuff,

with everything that's happened in the last few months,

with everything to do with the engagement.

I think the ring to me is just a symbol of a bad memory.

- So we get rid of the ring?

- Yeah.

It's just a piece of metal with some diamonds, isn't it?

That's all it is.

Okay.

- It's just gonna feel really weird without it.

[upbeat music]