Original subtitles

a potential make-up and more confusion

than anywhere else in the UK.

As always, the tans you see might be fake

but the people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been set up purely for your entertainment.

Previously on "The Only Way is Essex"

- She's been meeting him behind my back, basically,

for the last two months? - That's what he said.

- Look at me, this is embarrassing.

Please get out.

- Why didn't you pull him at the time?

- Yeah, but Gemma, listen.

Listen, what do you mean?

[door slamming]

- Two months? - Two months.

- Do you wanna come and have a chat.

[upbeat music]

- [Joey] You know what would cheer me up?

If I get to sing One Direction.

- Joey, I'm being paid very good money

to come and sing at someone's wedding.

Don't really think they'd appreciate me

dragging you up on stage and, like, singing One Direction.

Do you?

We literally are the "Wedding Crashers"

now, aren't we. [laughs]

I'm going to sing at a wedding and we've crashed,

so we are officially the "Wedding Crashers".

- The "Wedding Crashers."

[car engine rattling]

- [Arg] Oh, don't sound too good

- [Joey] That's ag.

You just love to help out, don't ya.

[Arg laughs]

- [Arg] Joey, you sure this car's safe to drive?

- [Joey] what?

- [Arg] Are you sure it's safe to drive?

- Yeah, it's perfect.

Stick that in like that.

Sweet as. Fine.

There you go, all fixed.

- Oh my god, this looks unbelievable.

How good does this look.

- Mate, it's like a proper castle

- Wow!

Actually singing in a castle.

How sick is that.

[gentle music]

- They weren't actually even wobbling at first,

they were just there, like rock hard, but now

they're getting softer - Mine don't wobble.

- Don't they?

- Are you excited about getting new bras?

- Yeah, but I'm a bit scared

like, 'cause I can't wear padded bras no more, can I?

- 'Course you can.

Makes 'em bigger, the bigger the better

- What, you's wear padded bras?

- I've got a padded bra on now, are you joking?

- Shut up

- Hi. - Hiya.

[upbeat music]

- They're both white,

and they've both got some detailing on, that's it.

And you look good in both of them, so what's the difference?

That's the first nice thing you've said all day.

Do you know that?

- Right, so if you're in this colour,

what colour are you having your bridesmaids?

'Cause I gotta think about it

'cause my ties and hankerchiefs.

- Can't we decide that after, bub?

'Cause it's all about my dress first

and then I decide what I want my bridesmaids in.

- It's all about my suits first, really.

- I think I'd want them in like a nudey colour.

Like a pinky nude. - No because pinky nude

will look crap on my suit.

- This is really making me wanna get married, Bob.

Shall I just do it?

- Let's just do it.

- Mind you, no, wait, I can't propose, can I?

- Only on a leap year?

- Is it a leap year?

- I think 2012 is a leap year.

- Shut up.

Are you angry with the whole situation?

With the whole--

- I'll be honest with you babe.

I'm angry in the sense that I found out online

that my best friend's now in a relationship.

- Yeah, maybe that was wrong

on Charlie's behalf not informing you.

- Yeah. My beef isn't with Dan.

- No. - Do you know what I mean?

- I want you to make it,

'cause I don't want you two arguing.

There's no need for it.

- No.

- You know like my situation, it's just, I don't know,

I just can't let go and I need to let go

in order to meet somebody else.

- [Frankie] Yeah.

When you're trying to get over someone,

it's gonna be hard, it's gonna take a long time.

- I don't think we should talk about it

because we're gonna ruin the bra day.

- Chlo, come here.

[Chloe crying]

- [Chloe] Things are shit at the minute, Frank.

I don't think we should talk about this,

it's just gonna spoil the bra day.

- Oh shut up, sod the fucking bras, I don't care.

Don't, 'cause you're making me upset

- I just can't get over him, like,

And I wanna because I'm lonely,

I'm all by myself all the time.

It's not just about bras, I don't care about wearing bras

but it's just I can't get over someone,

it's been such a long time.

- But you've gotta give it a go.

- So the other night I was at a party

and there was this guy.

Anyway, he come over and he was chatting

and he seemed like a nice guy, he looked, he was handsome

and he was tall and he had a lot going for him.

He did have a Welsh accent,

so I couldn't really understand him, but.

Anyway, I gave him my number and then he started

proper sending long essay text messages.

It ruined it straight away, 'cause then I was like whoa!

- [Frankie] Chlo, the first person you meet

ain't gonna be him.

- No, I know, but I can't even handle

another guy texting me at the minute.

Like, I couldn't handle it.

- That's fair enough, 'cause it's all new,

It's gonna be hard, it's gonna take a long time.

Five years of loving someone,

you don't just wake up one day and think right,

this is me back on the dating scene.

Just forget about it.

- I'm sorry for ruining bra shopping day.

- Oh, don't be silly.

- I'm like the worst personal shopper.

- No, you're not.

[upbeat music]

- So, rumor's in the grapevine, you've had an allowance?

- What?

- I've never even heard about this allowance,

so what is this allowance?

- You don't know that I get an allowance?

- No! When have you ever had an allowance?

- Don't be horrible, you are a boy.

You should get an allowance?

- No, I know I shouldn't get an allowance.

But, you are 25. [laughs]

- Don't they give you an allowance?

- Nothing.

- I'm actually causing myself trouble here, aren't I?

Please don't go home. [Tom interrupts]

- It's so mean, like, the favourite golden child going on.

- But you're a golden child.

- You're a golden child.

- No, you are.

Come on, I'm not being horrible.

I love you to bits, but since you've been with Lydia,

I have not seen none of you.

- Only because, like,

I just like to be around her all the time.

Do you know what I mean? Like, she's such a nice girl.

[jazz music plays]

- Let's just get out of stress mode,

cos I'm more stressed than you probably

- Well, you ain't gotta sing.

Just think of the stress I've had so far,

I don't even know the bride and groom's name

well, don't.. just, you don't say their names, do ya?

Just start singing and that.

Mate, don't you think it's crazy, like,

This could be yours and Gemma's wedding.

- There's absolutely no chance I'd ever get married to her.

- You always tell me you wanna marry her.

- no, I don't wanna go through a life of hell, mate.

- no, no, you would've married her

if things had carried on nicely.

- I can't believe how much weight I've put on as well,

I'm really upset. [laughs]

Joey, I need one last thing for a favour.

- What, what do you want?

- Basically, if I stretch down to do my shoelaces

then I know my trousers are gonna split,

so will you do my shoelaces for me?

- Mate, I feel like a slave.

- Ah please, it's just a favour.

- I've done you enough favours today.

- Right, I'll do you a favour in return if you do me a favour.

- What's your favour?

- Oh, it's a surprise

- Definitely, lemme, lemme...

- It's definitely more of a chance, yeah,

if you do my shoelaces

Please Joey, I'm not ever - if I could -

I promise you my trousers will split.

Please! I'm asking you as a favour.

What about if I put 'em up here then?

- All right.

- Right, come on.

Right, hurry up, cos my leg's hurting.

Can you do it properly please?

- Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome the wedding singer, James Argent!

[Arg singing]

- Sal would never ever think

that Joey would be a burden to me, would be anything.

I just don't think Joey would ever cheat on me in my life,

but Arg, as much as he's my mate, Arg is a free spirit,

he's single, he can do what he wants, he goes out,

he wants birds, he goes out and he goes yeah,

she's fit, and whatever else.

- Right, okay.

- But when Joey goes out with Arg I just think grrr!

And do you know what, I haven't heard from Joe.

Where the fuck are they?

- Right, there's two massive things you need to do.

- Am I being needy?

- I actually think--

- That's why I think, you've got a girlfriend, fucking--

- But I don't think you should worry

because I think it's a certain type that cheat

- No, no, would you--

- No listen, do you know what I think, right,

So many girls can blame their boyfriend's mate,

At the end of the day

if their boyfriend's going to do something it's up to them,

it's not up to their boyfriend's mate, it's up to them.

[upbeat music plays]

- No, yeah, no. You know, there's no rush for any of that.

You know, we're seeing each other, we're going really well,

and I don't want to put any pressure on it.

- Aw, look at him, here he is!

How're you doing, mate?

- You all right? How are you?

- Hello.

- Can I have just five minutes with Charlie?

- Course you can. Right.

- How you doing?

- How you doing, mister?

- I'm all right, how are you?

- Ermmm...

- I don't even get a hug, hello, or nothing, no?

Where has that Bobby Norris, Queen of Hearts, gone?

- Do you know what, I wanna be completely honest with ya,

cos you know what I'm like.

I am at a stage where I don't really know

where I stand with you any more.

I'm hearing things through rumour mills

and reading things online that you're now in a relationship.

I would have much rather have been told

through a text message or phone call.

- Don't start all that, Bobby,

do not start that, man, cos I'm not gonna have that.

At the end of the day, I've been told that

you're keeping your distance

because you didn't wanna see me and Danni progressing,

'cos you just weren't ready to accept that,

all right, fair enough.

If you'd actually been involved in my life

and not kept your distance

maybe you'd know what was going on

and you wouldn't be finding out from other sources.

- Can I just stop you there,

cos if you wanna go home and talk to wifey,

I am being told--

- She ain't my wife.

- If you wanna go and have a word with her,

She's telling me I'm getting in the way,

so I've backed off.

- Okay. You've come over to me all pent up with,

like you're aggressive man, this isn't the Bobby I know.

- You don't realise how hurt I am. I've gone away,

I've given you two the respect to do your dating.

- you said, you, you said you wanna keep your distance

because you weren't quite ready

to see me and Danni hooking up.

I'm gutted that we're not the friends that we once were.

When you told me you had feelings for me, Bobby,

I could've run a mile and I didn't,

I just stayed with you, I just stuck by your side

and I thought d'you know what,

I'm gonna make sure nothing comes between this friendship

because I love you to bits.

I can't believe that we're even having this conversation,

because most best friends just stick with each other man,

I don't like the way you're being with me

- I think I'm done here, babes.

Let's not try and resolve this,

If I'm really getting in the way,

let you two crack on and I hope it's worth it.

Enjoy your night, Charlie.

- No, you've ruined it mate.

Thanks for ruining my night.

[dejected music plays]

- Arg, Arg, Arg

- What now?

- Arg constantly plays this victim, oh poor me, poor me,

but the fact of it is, I haven't done anything wrong,

when he dumped me, I decided when Rami...

I bumped into Rami in the bagel shop

and he asked me out on a date,

I'm gonna go with Rami on a date.

- Yeah, yeah

- Stop playing the victim, you wronged me,

and do you know, the most hurtful thing about this all,

he tells Joey he wants his PlayStation back.

- Ohhhh, please.

- The PlayStation. And I said to Joey,

then Joe's going yeah, you gotta get that one back,

and I'm thinking a PlayStation?!

Everything that Gemma done for Arg,

dinners, organising things,

took him in and you want the PlayStation back.

- I spent fortunes on him.

Do you know what I feel like saying to him?

- Bought him a pair of shoes, didn't you?

- Gimme those £500 pair of shoes back

that you're wearing on your feet.

I cooked you dinners, I washed your pants,

with the worse skids marks I've seen in my whole life,

I had to put them on a 90% wash for like, 3 hours

and they were still stained when I got them out.

- You haven't even seen him yet though, have you?

- Not seen him, he's avoiding me

- That's the thing

He needs to stop being such a pussy and face up to it

- Yeah, why can't he just come and pick it up

- Can't he just ring ya, and go hi Gem,

I wanna come and have a chat with you,

while I'm at it I'm gonna pick my Kenneth Moore award up,

or whatever it is, and my PlayStation

- Before you know it, you'll have Joey knocking on your door

going "Can I pick up stuff for Arg?"

- I might bribe him and say give me my shoes

and that perfume back that I bought you, aftershave,

and you can have your little Kenny award.

- Kenny Award

- Dear Charlie

I am writing this letter to inform you of my feelings.

There are a few things that I want to get off my 32GG chest.

Because then he'll laugh at that.

- And then put LOL.

- oh, LOL really? You're so old school.

Firstly I've just come out of a seven year relationship

and I feel like I need to spread my wings a little bit more

before I go and get myself right back into another one.

- Okay, the spreading my wings seems a bit slutty.

- No, he is spiritual. Charlie will connect to that.

- Okay, and he will know it's not a slutty comment?

Bobby situation, put that in in capital letters

Ok. Bobby Situation.

Do you agree with me?

Can we rewind back to the fun times

and just be seeing each other again.

I hope now you understand why I've been a little distant.

- Yeah. Oh that's cute. I should seal it with a kiss.

- Yeah, let me put Charlie, a kiss, and then kiss it.

- I should kiss it there, open, sealed with a kiss.

- Yeah, a kiss.

- I think he'll appreciate that.

That's it, perfect

- People are gonna be round soon

and you haven't even decided what we're having for main.

- Have you got enough? You haven't got enough out, have ya?

- How many people are coming, so me, you, Sam

- I am Sam.

- Okay, no, sorry, me, you, Billie, Chloe

- Frankie

- Frankie, Diags

- And Kirk

- And Kirk

- Seven

- Seven

- Joe! I can't sit and watch this any longer!

Peel the potatoes! Get a bowl, get a saucepan out,

put water in, put it on there so it starts boiling,

please you're driving me mad.

Here, here. Look. This is just never gonna work out.

[upbeat music plays]

- The girls are here

- Hey!

- Any girls in your life?

- No, I need one, like bad, like I really do

- So do you, like, is there any feelings there for Lauren

any more or not really or..?

- Ahh, nah, nah, no, I just wanna be mates with her,

all I wanna do is be mates with her.

- Be civil, yeah.

- That's all.

- To be fair, all the girls here now are really nice,

but girls are bitches, I'm not gonna lie, sorry.

[chattering]

- What are you saying?

[chill music playing]

- Do you know what's coming up as well?

- What?

- Conquers are starting to grow on the trees again.

- Shut up.

- Yes.

- Yes.

- Remember that shit?

- Well this time though, you'll boil em in,

you'll put 'em in vinegar?

- Yeah, but that's if we're gonna fight other people,

do you know what I mean?

We'll set up a little tournament.

- A conquer tournament.

- I ruined bra shopping day

- You didn't.

I had a breakdown in the shop

- No, why?

- Don't like bras

[all laugh]

I hate fucking bras, know what I mean, Diags.

- Some people just don't like 'em

they're annoying for me I dunno. Ag.

On a serious note, I've been in love

with somebody for 5 years.

I've like built my life around him, you know,

been faithful, and now like,

I dunno, like it's come to my attention

that maybe he hasn't been doing the same.

- Now see, she's definitely the one

I wanna be with her and I don't wanna be with anyone else.

- That's good.

We need to find another version of Sam for me then.

- It's gonna be hard, though.

- You hear that fox?

- That's a koala bear, isn't it?

- Koala bears don't live here!

- Oh, yeah! I think I meant a pigeon.

[laughs]

- It's a fox!

- It's a fix. [laughs]

- What's a fix?

- Not a fix, a fox. Sorry.

[folk music plays]

- Now I told you, didn't I,

I'd do something special for you for your birthday

- Yeah, but I don't call this special

- Being 60 like this year

- I'm not 60! I'm younger than you

- There we are [giggles] This is it.

- Are you having a laugh?

- This is my favourite restaurant

- Are you being serious?

- Carol, it's your birthday treat!

Who else would bring you here for your birthday!?

- You call yourself a friend. Just about sums it all up

- Have you got the letter?

- I have got the letter

- I take art very seriously,

so anything creative I'm in my element.

- So maybe I'll just say, babes, take this home with you.

I think I'm going to make a vase.

- It's vase!

- Are you giving us a demonstration?

- Yes, I'm going to show you what to do.

If you want to just observe for a minute

and I'll show you how it all works.

- Nowadays, as soon as they snog someone

it's photographed, emailed, texted, Twitter,

erm what's the new one? MyFace.

And the whole world knows about it.

I just think that, you know, relationships,

you've gotta evolve with them really,

and especially if you meet somebody very young,

and that was the problem with James and Lydia,

like they did meet very, very young.

She was like still at school.

[phone rings] [dog barking]

- Oh my God.

- Who?

- Talk of the devil

- You've been talking about me?

- Stop it

- How is the Wicked Witch of Essex?

- How dare you! How dare you call me names, James!

- I thought you missed me?

- James, I can't be friends with you at the moment

- Why can't you be friends with me?

- I just don't feel right about it

- So basically, what you're trying to tell me is is

that Lydia and Tom, or maybe Tom's

a bit jealous of our relationship.

- Not at all

- But every time you see me you give me a big cuddle

and you can't let me go

- James, I can let you go.

It's just there's so much fat around you

that it's really hard to let you go!

- Yeah, cheers, listen you need to get your hair

straightened, it's more curly than it's ever been.

- I need to make it bigger.

Oh look, it's coming off, it's coming off,

I can't even keep it on it here, look. I was doing so well!

- That is so bad!

- What happened to it?

- That is so bad.

- That's all right, I give up

I don't like this game any more!

- You're such a sore loser

Tom don't get it on me! Tom! Tom!

Don't get it on me any more!

- Right, we got game, let's do this!

- I haven't seen you in the last few days

- Nah, I've kinda been keeping myself to myself.

I dunno I feel a little bit funny about things

because I saw Bobby, and er

it just didn't go down very well at all.

- What do you mean?

- Well, like I'm trying to say look,

Bobby, I've kept my distance because

you've wanted to keep your distance

and he's basically saying

you've made him feel like he's in the way.

- I didn't make him feel.

When I saw him at the pub and we had that chat,

I didn't make him feel.

I said to him I'd like to do stuff

with the both of you together, like go to the cinema,

whatever, and he said are you actually having a joke,

like are you being for real,

why would I wanna be anywhere with you and Charlie?

I said I loved him.

And I was like well you're gonna have to get used to it.

I didn't say stay away. I said - no, my words to him were--

- No, he said he felt like

you said he feels like he's in the way

and you've kinda made that clear.

- No, I didn't, he's lying, I didn't say that.

If I said something that come across badly,

then I'm sorry, that's all I can say, can't I?

- I hate to say it but there's already

a problem within our relationship

- I did want to talk to you

but I'm not very good at confronting people,

if that makes sense, so I wrote you a letter.

- All right, pops?

- Hello!

- I just bumped into her and she said you were here.

Thought I'd come and see ya.

You don't look happy, do ya?

Have I done something wrong?

- What?

- Have I done something wrong?

I saw her. She said you were here. I thought I'd bring Bozo.

I was just walking him down the street.

- What's wrong I had to see him now I

- I've never said you're not!

- All right, liar. Bozo!

- It's a bit awkward, isn't it?

- It's a bit awkward. Awkward city.

- She didn't bring me here, by the way.

Bumped into her and sort of intruded myself.

- Yeah, I don't think she would do that.

- Don't think she would.

Have I done something wrong then?

We were sweet, I thought.

- Are you insane?

- No!

- This is so awkward. Shall I wait outside?

- Am I insane or do you have selective memory

or you're like the best actor ever?

- I really don't know what you're--

- The last time we spoke, you had a massive go at me.

- Once we've had an argument.

I thought we were sweet since that.

- No.

- Is it not?

- No!

- Fair enough, I'll go, I just thought it was sweet.

- Yeah, please go.

- Well, thanks, all right, sorry about that!

See you later! All right, come boy.

- He's fucking crazy. Like, insane.

- That is so awkward.

I wanted the dog to just eat me or something.

[laughs]

- First of all, he told me I wasn't actually a dog.

Ever. And he pretends like we're fine.

- The whole way down here, he was like

"Yeah, like me and Lauren are sweet."

- Just when you think you get someone out of your life,

the shit I went through, the year,

it's been over a year now.

And then he just pops his head back up

like everything's all right.

After everything he did.

- No, don't do it to me, Tom, cos I've got make up on!

Tom! My hair! Tom! Don't put it in my hair!

Oh my god that's so annoying.

It's all on my dress.

Love you.

- Love you too.

[Tom mumbles]

- More? Yeah.

- Do you think?

- Do you think I am?

- Yeah.

- Promise?

- Promise.

- That's pretty good though, isn't it?

- Yeah, it's all right.

I've still got it all in my nose.

- Oh my God.

- What the hell have you been up to?

- I don't even want to talk to her anymore.

- It's everywhere!

- Look at my bum!

- Look at your hair!

- It's in my hair!

- Look at me! What do you mean, you?

- We need to go, 'cause I'm going out

and I need to wash my hair.

[laughs]

- Don't get it on me.

- I think that, if I still give you the letter,

read it, give me a call.

- Babe, I wanna make this clear,

I'm really happy with the way things are going,

you've gotta understand that.

And I want you to be happy

but you've just gotta tell me how you feel.

- Yeah

- Yeah. I'll read the letter, happily I will,

but don't feel you can't talk to me.

- Okay. I don't know why I put a stamp on it,

but I kissed it, and it smells like me

Can I have a hug?

- Are we good, yeah. We're good.

- Yeah

- Yeah, promise?

- Yeah, I promise

- Just talk to me, it's all you need to do

- Here you go, how d'you like that?

- Listen, the plan is I go in there,

get my stuff back, but not just - not just that,

I actually wanna try and smooth things over with Gemma

and see if we can be civil.

- Nah, don't do that. Don't need to be smooth, mate,

just be rough as fuck and go and get your PlayStation back.

- But you know what Gemma's like,

she's the most confident girl in the world,

she's probably more confident than Beyonce

- What you gonna do if Rami's in there?

- Well, I'll probably run out

and ask you two to come in with me.

The reason I do love Diags is because

he knows I'm in a little bit of trouble at the moment,

so you've come here to drop me off and he's gone home,

he's actually got dressed

and put on his football hooligan outfit.

- Yeah.

[laughs]

- Diags is literally ready for a tear-up,

he's gone home and put on all his football hooligan clothes

and he's like ready for it all to kick off

- I'm here to support you and help you out

when you're in need and I've come--

- I'm not worried. Honestly, if Rami did see him in that

he would be quite scared.

- He's gonna think I've come from the terraces,

do you know what I mean?

- All right, best mates, best mates. Wish me luck.

- Laters potatoes.

- Good luck, man, you're gonna do well.

- Don't have nothing to eat in there, no food,

just get your stuff and come out

- Straight in.

[knocks]

- Oh hello, Arg, you all right?

- All right, Joan?

- Yeah, how you doing?

- Erm, not too bad.

- Oh, you come round to see Gem?

- Yeah, yeah sort of, I just wanna like,

well I need to get me stuff back

and I wanna clear the air a little bit as well.

- Oh right, well, well come in then.

You look like you've got aches and pains, have you?

- Oh, dunno.

- What you been doing?

- Bit nervous, I think.

- Oh, bless ya, bless ya.

Alright Arg, this way, come in, there you go.

- What you want?

- Um, [clears throat], I've come in peace.

- Okay.

- What's the matter?

Where did it all go wrong?

- I mean, just, no.

- Wanna cuddle?

[Gemma crying]

- Don't cuddle me, don't cuddle me.

- Come on, put your foot up.

- No, don't be silly

- Go on, you can put your feet up.

- Don't be silly, I don't wanna put my feet up,

my legs are bigger than yours.

- They're not bigger than mine.

- You're squashing me.

- All right, sorry.

- I just think it's like really sad how it's all ended.

You don't give one shit.

- No, I do, I do think it's sad

but I mean, you know, obviously I don't like coming here

to see you cry, but obviously I've just been...

you know, at the same time I know you're a bit upset

and stuff Gem, but I'm still quite shocked

at what I've heard and what's been going on

and stuff like that.

Why you crying? Come on, stop being silly.

I thought you was gonna smash my face in when I walked in

here, this isn't really the reaction I was expecting,

what's the matter?

- I don't mean it when I get angry,

I just don't like showing you that I'm bothered

- Look how nice it looks in there, warm.

- I mean, look Gemma, obviously I know,

with you, you know, one minute you can be

the most loveliest, nicest girl in the world,

and then the next minute you can be like a bit of a nutcase,

and I don't mean that - and I don't mean

that being horrible, but I just don't really get,

I just don't understand.

'Cos, and also one minute I think

that you're in love with me and you're sort of showing it

now you're a bit sensitive, but then I hear things

that you've been cheating on me for two months

and then, you know, you say these things to me

and do these things and I'm just like,

I just don't get it with you, I don't know what,

I just don't understand you sometimes.

- I haven't cheated on you for two months

and you know I haven't because...I haven't

- It's not about that.

I mean I don't understand why would Rami tell Mario

that he's been seeing you for the last two months.

The facts are we've only been going out for three months,

maybe just over three months

and if you've been seeing Rami behind my back for two months

that's like over two thirds of our whole relationship.

- Arg, you know I haven't been seeing Rami for two months.

- I'm not being funny about it whatsoever,

I want you to be happy.

- There's not been any closure with us, Arg.

- That's why I'm here now.

- I'm not with a man that undermines me,

goes on about my weight.

- Gemma, Gemma, enough. Just stop, alright,

I care about ya, and, can I - where's my PlayStation?

Is it here, or is it somewhere else?

I dunno where it is. Have you got my -

also my Kenneth Moore Theatre Award, and my iPod,

and I think I've got a few bits of clothes as well.

Is that all here or is it at your flat?

- It's at my flat.

- Can I come round and get it?

- So you'll have to come round again.

- All right, come on, I better go then.

- All right, so what happens now then?

Do you really mean this, that you wanna be friends?

- Yeah, I'll be friendly and civil with you.

- Come on then.

[boys laughing]

["The Only Way is Up" by Yazz plays]