All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S06E06.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track3_[eng]

- [Narrator] This programme
contains a new boy,

a genital swabbing and
a large badonkadonk.

The tans you see might be fake

but the people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been set up purely
for your entertainment.

[Gemma gasps]

Previously on "The Only Way is
Essex".

- If you was texting another
boy, I wouldn't stick around.

- I've known her for a long
time and she's clearly a cheat.

- You fucking crack on,

you go and be a boy for the
night

and I'll fucking see you around.

- The sort of girls you've been
banging,

you need to go and get tested.

- I've got your hair.
- This is disgusting, man.

- You all right, all right?

- Admittedly, it's not
everyone's taste.

- I've fallen in love with
Charlie.

[upbeat music]

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now

[gentle music]

- Gem, are you all right in
there?

- [Gemma] Yeah, a bit nervous.

- Has it started coming out yet,
or?

- [Gemma] No, it takes a minute.

- What for you to wee?

- [Gemma] [laughs] No,
for the test to work.

- What we gonna do if it's
positive?

- [Gemma] What do you wanna do?

- My god, I'm nervous, are you?

- I'm scared, yeah.

Shall I look at it, I feel sick.

- What does that mean?

- I'm not pregnant.

- Fucking hell.

Thank god for that! [laughs]

- [Gemma] Are you all right?

- Woohoo! [laughs]

Oh god.

[upbeat music]

- I' ain't got a boyfriend, have
I?

It's not serious.

- You got a boyf.
- He's half.

- Yeah, so he's called a boyf.

- I dunno, I'm having
fun, I'm enjoying it,

but I wanna be able to flirt,
and have fun and get drunk.

- What's the whole thing with
the Jess and the Tom thing?

- Well, the other day
we've gone for a drink

and Tom's gone, "Yeah,
she's not as innocent

as she makes out," and I've
gone, "What do you mean?"

Well, look at my phone and
showed him the text messages

saying oh, you and LG
K-I-S-S-I-N-G,

Can't believe you cheated on me.

- What?
- Yeah!

- Oh, stop it.

- Is she having a laugh?
- I know.

- Did you read the messages
or did he tell you?

- He showed me his phone.

- I think personally she's
doing it to get at you,

she don't like Tom.

- She might, she might like Tom,

apparently she don't wanna
be with Ricky no more.

- Why?

- God knows.
- Oh my god.

- Do you reckon Ricky
knows any of this though?

- No, I doubt it.

- No?
- No.

- I feel sorry for that kid, you
know.

He actually loves her, you
can see it in his eyes,

he's like a little puppy dog
around her.

- I wonder if she knows that you
know.

- Never.
- No.

- She probably doesn't even
think Tom would even tell you.

- Yeah, no.

- [Cara] She probably
thinks Tom's in on it.

- Yeah, it's like she wants
to create drama all the time.

- Just let her.

- [Lauren] Yeah.

- I'm stuffed.

- Me too.
- Me three.

- What should we have after?
[girls laughing]

♪ I realise

- I've gotten on the floor
and this lady came over

and was pouring vodka in my
mouth.

- No way.

- Oh I didn't stop laughing.

- Oh good, I'm glad you all
enjoyed it.

- It's a shame, you should
have come with us, though, man,

it was good, it was really good
fun.

- Aw.

- Talk to me, man, come on,
what's up?

I know you, what's going on,
what's going through your head?

- Well, there is something
I wanna talk to you about.

Like, the other day I
feel I was out of order

and I wanna apologise firstly
for that.

I shouldn't have got the
hump or reacted like I did

when I bumped into you, and
I'm embarrassed about that

so I'm sorry.

- Don't worry about it,
it's fine, it's cool.

Forget about the other day,
I'm pleased you're here,

but what was it all about?

- You laying on the floor
with someone pouring vodka

down your throat, ain't you?

You going out and eating
doner kebabs, ain't you?

- Yeah, but I've never
experienced
those things before, Bob,

and I wanted to do it.

I'm trying to just push myself
out of my comfort zones.

- I guess what I'm trying to say
and how,

the reason behind it is in
reflection,

I've probably been a little bit
jealous.

And I just don't want our
kind of friendship to change.

- We've got a special bond, man,

that I don't have with these
other boys.

And our friendship is cemented,
period.

So stop all this silliness, Bob.

Stop it, all right?

It's my birthday, gonna have a
good time,

and everything's fine, yeah?

Give me a cuddle, come on.

[upbeat music]

- So you got HIV?

[men laughing]

- I'm not gonna have HIV, am I?

- Yeah.
- A hairy, itchy vagina.

- No.
[all laughing]

- But you haven't got a vag,

so don't worry about HIV, I was
joking.

- Don't joke about HIV in an HIV
clinic.

- How you ain't got a
vagina so it doesn't matter.

- Sorry, girls.

- Do you want us to come in
with ya when she tests ya?

Or not?
- Not at all,

that's quite disgusting.

- [Tom] Do you reckon doctor's
gonna be a man or a woman?

- Woman, don't really want
a man touching my cock.

- Say if you fancy her and you
started getting a. [whistles]

- I don't think I'm gonna be
getting in the mood before.

- [Tom] So you're in and out,
get it done,

and then peace of mind.

- Why don't you get it done?

- 'Cause I've had it done
quite recently I don't need to.

- You're the one who's wanting
to do this.

- If you might have something,

what do you think it might be?

- I don't think I've got
anything.

I'm pretty much sure I
don't think I have anything.

- Yeah but you don't know that.

- You're not getting it, are ya?

I'm not doing this 'cause
I think I've got something,

there's nothing wrong with my
cock,

there's nothing wrong
downstairs, I'm doing all right.

- Can you stop saying cock
so loud, these people.

- Sorry, there's nothing
wrong with my penis.

- Annike please.

- Is that the doc?
[Tom farts]

[boys laughing]

- Oh my God, that was you.

- [Tom] Fucking hell.

- [Jess] I can't wait to see it.

- Oh mate, I've been waiting

for like five weeks to get these
keys.

First I heard that the keys were
there

I rushed straight down.

Ah, I just can't wait.

- All right, Rick.
- All right, what's going on?

That's weird, isn't it?

- What?

- She just said hello to me,
like.

- Whatever.

[Ricky laughing]

Fine.

- Now I'm going to ask you
some personal questions,

of course they're not
meant to embarrass you.

All right?
- Okay, cool.

- Okay, now when would you
last have had intercourse?

- Er, a week, maybe a week ago.

- A week ago.

Did you use a condom?

- Yeah

- Okay, did you do sort
of oral sex as well?

- Do I have to answer these?

Yeah, yeah.

- There is a reason for
us to ask the questions.

- Er, I can't, erm no, er no.

- Okay, intercourse with anybody
else

in the last three months?

- Yeah. [laughs]

- Yes, how many partners
are we talking about?

- Er, four.

- Four, not had a contact
with a male partner?

- What gay, no, no!

- You've not paid anybody for
sex?

- No.

- Perhaps we can start
by getting a swab test.

Now you needn't worry,
the swab test that we take

is from the tip of the penis

and it's all bearable stuff,
okay.

So don't be anxious all along.

- All right, cool

- Okay, you try and relax,
don't be too anxious

- All right.

- [Tom] He looked really
worried.

- Mate she's definitely gonna

put something up his arse or
something.

[Tom laughing]

- Give him a little finger?

- Yeah.

- You know what, he
never had a test before.

I reckon he might actually
have something you know.

- I reckon he might
have something as well.

- Hm, what a silly sausage.

- [Nurse] If you can
just drop your trousers

and your underwear for us.

- [Diags] [laughing] Yeah.

- [Nurse] It's nothing to worry
about,

it's just a very quick test

from the tip of your penis.

It's a test for gonorrhoea, all
right?

[Diags laughing]

You okay?

- Yeah, you said penis.

- [Nurse] [laughs] Sorry.

So I'll grab Doc, we'll get you
through,

get that sorted out.

- All right, cool.

- What do you reckon it
is the doctor's doing it?

Or do you reckon the nurse is
doing it?

- I dunno man.

- Imagine if it's a man
and he gets a boner,

that means he's gay.

[Tom laughing]

- [Doctor] Now I'll just start
by examining you, all right.

Don't worry yourself,

nothing awful will happen to
you.

Now just examining your
testicles.

Do you examine your
testicles once in a while?

- Err yeah, yeah, I always do.

- [Doctor] Yeah, that's a good
idea,

once in a month or so you should
do.

I'll give you a leaflet about
doing that.

Now if I get you to pull
the foreskin back for me,

now I'm going to take a swab
test,

it's nothing particularly
excruciating,

you'll just feel something.

Okay, there we go,

very good, excellent.
[Diags gasps]

That's fine, you can pull your
shorts

and trousers up for me.

[upbeat music]

- Do you have to wipe
her bum with baby wipes?

- No, I've had her bum shaved,
so then

when she poos there's no mess.

- [Danni] Yeah.

- And she also needs to learn to
walk!

She's just a diva.

[dog barking]

- Mine needs to learn to stop
weeing in people's mouths.

- What?
- That is disgusting.

- [Roy] Hello everybody, welcome

to the Essex dog Training
Centre.

My name's Roy, I'm
taking your class today.

But firstly we've gotta do
something about these shoes.

They are absolutely ridiculous
for dog training, you've got

to change them guys.
- We've gotta change 'em?

I feel like I'm at school.

- [Lydia] Such idiots, aren't
they, Roy?

- Yeah, absolutely right.

- Stand up, Lolly!
- You were wise

because your dog's just pee'd up
your leg,

so it's a good job you've got
wellies on!

[girls laughing]

- That's Danielle's!

- You have to watch them all the
time!

- Danielle, your dog just pee'd
on me.

He's got a bladder problem.

- Well done, Poochey!

- [Lydia] So sorry!

- Sorry everyone.

Right we're ready, boots.

- Okay so let's have your
dogs on your left hand side.

With a nice command of close.

- [Lydia] Close.

- Close.
- Close.

- Close.
- Close.

- [Lydia] Good girl.

- Other way round.
- You're hurting my dress!

- Tell your dog off.

- Ow, I can't tell her off.
- Tell her off.

- Use the sound, off, now
do something about it.

Now reward when she's off.

That's it.

- [Lydia] Good girl.

- It would be nice to see a few

of you walking with your dog.

- So what about if they don't
walk on the lead at all?

- [Roy] The idea is to
induce them to walk.

- Lola, come on darling, come
on, Lola.

- I'm not sure about Lola,
come on darling, keep going.

- [Lucy] Lola.

- Lola knows her name.

- Come on then.
- Put some enthusiasm

in your voice.

- Come on, Lola.
- Keep going.

- Come on.

- Gently, gently, what
a good girl you are!

- Come on, darling.
- Don't drag her!

- [Roy] But you don't have
to pull the lead tight.

- [Lucy] She won't, Lola.

- Okay, bring them back girls,
that was absolutely awful.

What we're gonna do is
getting your dog back.

Are you ready?

Call your dog.

- Come on, Poochey.

Come on, come on.

- [Roy] Bit of enthusiasm in
your voice.

- Poochey, come here!

- [Lydia] No you can't shout.

- [Danni] Yay look!

And now he's weeing!

- [Roy] Right, that's about the
worst recall I've ever seen.

- Come on Lola.
- Come to me.

- [Roy] Watch where you go, mind
your dog.

Okay, drop to the sit.

Then turn them that way.

- She's scared.
- But she's not following.

- Very interesting.
- What am I doing.

- Turn around.
[girls laughing]

- [Roy] About turn and come back
this way.

Back you go, mind your dogs.

- [Jess] Rick, this place is
amazing.

- Thank you.

- So nice.

- I'm in love with it.

This is the master bedroom.

- Aw.

- [Ricky] Where all the
magic's gonna happen.

- Ricky, how does it feel,
owning your own home?

For three hours now.
- I dunno,

it feels a bit strange like,

for four or five weeks
now I've had no home

but now I've got like keys.

- You've got to grow up now and
be a man.

- Yeah, I've got the keys to my
own house.

And I wanted to prove to you
how serious I am about you

and how much, you know,
I want us to go forward.

Obviously some boys give
their girlfriends a drawer,

and I decided I'd go one step
further

and get you the whole chest of
drawers.

And if you open the top up
there's

a little surprise in there for
ya.

- It is a welcome pack--
- This is so cute.

- For you to my house.

- That is so sweet.

- It's got pyjamas so when

you stay round--
- Large?

- Look listen they come up
small,

I knew that your badonkadonk
wouldn't have fit in a medium.

- Ricky, you idiot!

- So I want this drawer to sort
of be like

a sign of trust and I just
wanted that

to be sort of be like
the little turning point

of where we just start moving
forward

and hopefully going from
strength to strength.

- Okay, thank you.

- Obviously, I've got
all trying to furnish it

and I want you there to help me
to sort of

add your little feminine touch.

[Jess laughing]

- Boys

- [Joey] You look red?

- I look red?

- How was it, did you
like, get a boner, or?

- No, 'cause the nurse didn't
do it, the doctor did it.

- A doctor did it, a man?

- Yeah.
- Oh.

- I didn't care who did it,

it wasn't gonna be pleasant
either way, was it?

I wasn't gonna enjoy it
no matter who did it.

Kelly Brook could have done it

and I still wouldn't have
enjoyed it.

- What's in your goody bag
anyway?

- Full of johnnys.

He was asking me about oral sex,

do I do it with condoms, do
I not do it with condoms.

- What's oral, like mouth sex?

- Yeah, mouth sex.

- Why?

- [Diags] Safe.

- No, it ain't safe, that's
well, that's really unsafe.

imagine if the condom--

- If it comes off and they
chokes on it.

- Yeah, if the girl chokes
on it and just dies.

- On the gravestone
death by condom chokeage.

- Yeah.
- I'm not saying

I'm gonna throw condoms
down girls' throats.

I'm just saying they
asked do you use a condom

when you have oral sex,
I said no, I don't.

He asked if I was gay, if I had
gay sex.

[men laughing]

- What did you say about that
one?

- No, obviously.

- When do you find out
the results of everything?

- They said it should come
through in about a week.

But it can take up to two weeks.

- Are you worried, or do you
reckon you'll be all right?

- No, I reckon it will be fine.

Can we, can we go?

- Come on then.
- Yeah, let's.

I'm really proud of you,
you've done really well.

- Cheers man.
- Well done.

- [Diags] Thanks mate.

[upbeat music]

- Hey, what do you think of the
new hair?

Is it working today?

Or do I still need to practise a
bit

with the straightening?

- [Mario] No it's looking
sharp from what I see here.

- Yeah, it's just, a bit
of a change, isn't it.

Bit of a change of an
image, that's all it is.

- It looks good.

- Yeah, mate, you went with
a pink shirt, I like it.

- I think it like,

contrasts well with my dark
features.

You know what they say,

it takes a secure man to wear
pink, Chris.

Who knows what the night might
bring.

- To charm Johnson for good
luck.

You never know where you're
gonna get to.

[upbeat music]

- [All] Happy birthday, Charlie.

- Cheers guys.

Thank you so much for coming out
with us.

- Ah thanks for having us.
- Hope you have

an eventful night.

- This is what it's all about.

- How you doing mate, you all
right?

Jamie, run all of funky mojos

and sorted out your table
tonight.

- Nice to meet you mate,
thank you for having us.

- Having a good time?
- It's awesome,

can't wish for anything more.

- It's 1,100 quid minimum spend
mate.

- I reckon we've already smashed
that.

- Yeah, you already done it
yeah?

- Yeah.
- We've had a fair few.

- Well, here's a birthday shot
as well.

- Gentlemen, thank you.
- Cheers mate.

- Here we go, thanks Jamie.
- Happy birthday.

- Cheers.
- Cheers, bruv.

[group gasps]

- If you need anything
just give me a shout.

- Nice one mate.
- Thank you.

- After that shot I'm ready to
dance.

Where's Bobs, do we know where
Bobs is?

- I can't carry on feeling like
this,

and he can't carry on not
knowing.

So I'm just in turmoil, like
emotionally

I feel like I'm driving myself
nuts.

- Like you're gonna just keep on
bubbling,

bubbling then all of a
sudden you're gonna erupt

and you're gonna blurt it out
in an argument or something.

- I just keep replaying it,
what it's gonna be in my head.

For me to arrive tonight Lyds,

I can't even believe I'm here.

- Well, maybe tonight's
not the best night,

'cause it's his birthday and
everything.

Just hold out for a bit, yeah.

- Yeah. I'm not under any
illusion

that he's gonna throw his arms
round me

and say, "I feel the same."

But, I mean, that would
be the best outcome,

but it's never gonna happen.

But I'm kind of just at the
stage where

I'm just thinking of the worst
outcome.

If this blows up, I've lost
everything.

[upbeat music]

♪ You know you're only in it

♪ 'Cause it's hot right
now, hot right now ♪

♪ Turn it up right now

♪ Put your hands in the air
if you want it right now ♪

♪ Eh oh, eh oh, hot right now

♪ You know you're only in it

♪ 'Cause it's hot right
now, hot right now ♪

- Very well done to you for
taking

responsibility of your man
parts.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, I like suck on it.

- You should respect him
'cause he's done something

mature in his life.

- Well done mate, you're well
mature man.

- Well done Diags, good for you
mate.

Sleeping with loads of girls

without using protection, well
done.

♪ Eh oh, eh eh, eh oh, eh oh

- Really nice seeing you.
- Nice seeing you, bye.

What's happening, mate?
- Mate, you all right?

- Yeah good.

- It's a good night to be fair.

- Listen mate, a few
spenders in here mate.

- Little trip down memory
lane, Lauren Pope, mate.

- Yeah, but that was only a
little kiss and cuddle like.

- She looks good though, Jamie.

- Does look well.

She with Frankie isn't she?

- [Darrel] Yeah.

- Been there, done that.

That was only a one night thing
anyway.

I ran her a bath in the morning.

And Billi's there looking
lovely.

Billi always looks nice though
don't she.

- Now listen, I see Billi
earlier when I was up there,

she looks really well.

- She always looks well, she's
looked well

for years mate, years.

Wouldn't mind a go on that
again.

What's up?

Oh my god.

- Jamie, look forward, look
forward.

- No.

- After that night she come back
to mine,

obviously that happened.

- [Darrel] Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah.

- Argent's got the hump.

- Have you not spoken to him
yet?

- Not spoken to him.

Sent him a couple of texts,

tried to get it sorted out,
didn't happen.

And that's it so far.

I'm hoping that as we were mates
before

we can sort it out again

- Doesn't matter that he's
here, it was ages ago.

- What are you girls talking
about?

- Just girl's stuff.

- There's just someone that I
was seeing

for a little bit, over there,
that's it.

- [Darrel] It's been a good
night though.

- It has, shame about all
these exes being here.

[Darrel laughing]

♪ Take my hand, go ahead

♪ Play my game

♪ Keep turning

♪ Take my hand

♪ Tonight

♪ Go ahead

♪ Tonight

♪ Play my game

- Hey, Rick.

- Oh hello, what's
happening, you all right?

What's going on?

- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm all right

how are you?
- Good, how's things?

- Yeah, good man, just focusing

on the flat and the house.

- Wicked.
- Yeah.

- You got like a one
bedroom or two bedroom?

- Two.

- Two.
- Two bedrooms, three toilets.

Ain't had no time to just go out

and just do it all, it's
just all coming on top.

Know what I mean?

- And how's everything with
Jess?

- It's good, like I
showed her around today,

obviously she's had a bit
of trust issues and that.

- And you haven't got any
trust issues with her?

- Err nah, not really.
- No?

- Not at all, why?

- Just, I think, you know, it's
not really

my place to be saying things to
you.

- Okay.
- But I think

there's an issue at the moment

that I think maybe you should
speak to Tom Pearce about.

- Yeah, okay, thank you.
- Yeah.

- Like you said it's probably
not really your place

to say but I appreciate it and
everything.

But yeah, no problem.

[lively music]

- I owe you so much--
- There's nothing wrong

with that, your past is
your past and the only way

you're going to move
forward in life is by--

- All right how you doing?
- How you been?

- Yeah, real good mate.

- Looking good.
- You too, man.

- James, Diags, how are you?

- All right mate.

- You all right, hunny?

- All right.
- You all right, yeah.

- [Joey] How you been?

- [Jamie] Good mate,
good, enjoying tonight?

- Yeah, it's all right man.

Only been here a little
while, but yeah, it's good.

- No dance moves yet or
anything?

- [Joey] Nah, not tonight, not
yet.

- Have a good night.
- See you later, yeah.

- Take care, yeah.
- See ya later, Jame.

- Got the bare-faced cheek to
come over

and say hello to ya.

You did well, I'm proud of you.

- Shut up.
- You did well.

- Go away, don't mug me
off, don't mug me off.

- We're not mugging you off.

- Just get away, get away from
me.

- Just forget about it all mate.

- Yeah.

- Forget about it, he ain't
done nothing wrong has he.

- Listen all I'm saying
is me and obviously,

you knew Joey, me and Jamie
were very, very pally.

And, basically, pretty soon
after me and Lydia broke up,

She had a one night stand with
him.

And I think she was quite
interested after

but he sort of fucked her off.

But I just felt that you know, I
was--

- James.
- No, shh,

and at the end of the day I just
felt

that I wouldn't, you know,

I wouldn't have done that to
him.

- So you've got a fair enough
point not to like him, yeah.

But, yeah, you've just got to
sort of

get your mind over it
cos he's gonna be around.

- [James] Yeah, I know,
that's what I'm saying.

- So just forget him, when you
see him,

shake his hand, go all right
mate yeah.

- No, I don't need to--
- No, you don't

need to do that, nah, don't do
that.

- I'm not gonna have an argument
with him,

I'm not even gonna let him
bother me,

but I'm just not gonna say hello
to him.

- All I'm trying to say
is don't act bothered.

- [James] I'm not bothered.

- So don't sit there going
like that all evening.

You should have went, "all right
mate."

- He's a nice guy but he
ain't as good looking as you

he ain't got your personality,

he ain't got your beautiful
teeth.

- Shut up, why are you
comparing me to him anyway?

- Fucking sticking up for ya.

- Yeah but why are you
comparing me to him?

- Look, there's nothing wrong
with her.

The only thing she's done is

stand up for you.
- I'm being nice to you.

I always stick up for you.
- Shut up.

- Stop telling me to shut up.
- Listen, yous two,

can I say one thing, she stuck
up for you this whole time.

- I'm not ever gonna shut up.

I'm me, I've got a voice and I
will speak.

- Don't get involved in my past.

I've told you how I feel
and that's the end of it.

- Don't get involved in your
past?

Every week it's being
brought up in my face, James.

- All right, just forget about
it.

It was just mentioned now
but I wanna forget about it.

- I'm sick of it myself
and I will not shut up.

And I've got, 'cause I'm Gemma.

I'm not crying, I'm stronger
than ever.

- All I'm saying is
let's not talk about it.

I'm trying to enjoy my night

but we keep talking about my
business.

- I'm sticking up for you James.

Everyone's got a past.

I got to 31, here today, I've
got a past.

But I don't permanently
rub it in your face.

- [James] Do I rub it in your
face?

- No but when I stick up for
you, James

take it as a compliment.

- No, because you're trying to
compare me

to someone I don't need to be
compared to.

- Oh my god.
- Ahh!

- Fuck me, Arge.

- I haven't actually been here

for quite a long time because of
him.

And I thought I'd come here
tonight

and it wouldn't bother
me but it kind of does.

And I don't particularly want to
be here

for much longer to be honest
with ya.

I just feel a bit uncomfortable
now

and I don't wanna be here.

[upbeat music]

- I took Diags to the
STD clinic this morning.

- Oh, what happened?

- He dunno yet, he ain't
got the results yet.

- Really.
- Hello

- [Tom] Hello

- Can I sit down for a minute.

Just had Ricky run past
me like frantically

and saying something about Tom,
Tom, Tom.

- Yeah.

- What's going on?

Why's he got the hump?

- I haven't said a word to Ricky
tonight.

- So I'm guessing he's
heard something like,

we talk to each other.

But it's been insinuated like
there's

something more than friends.

- You did say some flirty
things.

- Like what?

- Stuff like, "why are you
cheating on me

"and stuff like that, I can't
believe you

"cheated on me" and all stuff
like that.

- Are you joking?
- And you being kidnapped

in the hay and stuff like that.

- Oh, Tom shut up.

- That is--

- [Jess] I've known you
since I was like five, right,

and we have banter.

- Right, we hadn't spoken
for about 20 years.

- But then we started
speaking and we get on.

- No, that's fine, I haven't
said anything to Ricky have I?

- But do you flirt with
me and what do I say back?

Shut up, and do I talk to you
about Ricky?

- [Tom] Only like the last two
days you've been saying that.

- [Jess] Do I talk to you about
Ricky?

- Yeah, and that's fine.

- And how much I care about
Ricky.

- Yeah, that's fine,
well you shouldn't be,

shouldn't be sending--
- Well then I shouldn't

talk to you then.
- Flirty messages, should ya?

I wouldn't want my girlfriend
just sending messages to me.

- Well clearly, you're
obviously going round trying

to break us up by saying that

I'm messaging you--
- I'm not trying

to break you up at all.
- Flirty things.

- I'm not trying to break you up
at all.

- No, I think it's not that, I
think,

because we was in the pub the
other night

and he's basically just said oh
look

at my phone Jess has messaged
me.

- It's going round that I'm
messaging you,

this is ridiculous.

- Banter's something to
your mates, isn't it?

- Yeah.

- If my girlfriend was
sending the messages

that you sent me I
wouldn't be happy about.

- Ricky sees my messages to you,

I tell him I message you.
- You showed him that

little bit of the message.
- Yes, he sees my phone,

he doesn't give a shit.
- All right, well,

if he's fine with that

then that's your problem.

- What play-school banter,
that I do with Charlie

and Bobby and he does with other
girls?

If you're going to take
those as flirtatious messages

I should never have messaged
you in the first place,

clearly, clearly.
- Jess, mate.

Did you not think that was
flirting then?

- [Ricky] Is it all right if I
just speak

to her alone, please?

- Yeah, course you can mate
that's fine.

Just understand I'm not
trying to split you up at all.

- No, it's cool, no, honestly
mate, honestly, it's fine.

- And if you've seen the
messages

and you think it's fine

then that's up to you.
- He's seen them.

- Okay, that's fine, if
you're all right with that,

but it's you that said
that, it's not anything

to do with us all right.

- It's kicking off over
there, Jess, Ricky.

- What's it all about, mate?

- I haven't got a clue, mate.

- How many times I have I
told you that I speak to Tom?

Do I say to you that I speak to
Tom?

- Yeah but it not--
- You know

that I speak to him.
- That I like it.

- No, but you know that I'm
friends.

- Tell me what they said.

- They say things like,

I discussed with him the
situation

with me and you last week

and I was like Ricky basically.

- Why would you discuss
the conversation with him?

- Because I thought he was a
friend,

I didn't think he was going to
take it.

Look more in to it like that.
- Yeah, but you know, no,

you know how I feel about that
shit.

- Okay, fair enough, I shouldn't
have

spoken to him about it but.

- You haven't told me what they
said.

- I just told you.
- What did they say?

- I messaged him going oh Tom
and LG

sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

- So the first person
you think to text is him?

- No, because I'd just
heard about them kissing.

That is all it is.

- LG and Tom sitting in a tree.

That's it, that's all you've
said?

That's the flirty banter?

Is that it?
- That's what he's talking

about that's the worst he's got.

- So is that the only message,

messages that are flirty in it?

- I swear on my life.

- I listened to you, right, I
love you,

listen, I love you.
- I do not like,

no listen to me.

- No, no, no, no.
- Listen to me.

- No, no, no, no listen to you
when--

- What are you gonna say?

- 'Cause I'm about to, if you
let me speak I'll tell you!

- Okay, go on, no, go on.

- Go on, you speak like
you said you wanted to.

- I don't like Tom Pearce.

Never have, never would.

I considered him a mate as in--

- A mate?
- A mate!

- A mate?
- Not a best mate, but a mate.

- A mate that you go and talk
about our relationship with.

- Only, I only did--
- That's the thing,

I wouldn't go and talk to a girl

about our relationship if
we just had something wrong

and then say something--

- 'Cause I was devastated, I
thought

you were cheating on me.
- Yeah, but it doesn't.

No, it's no excuse, right.

You don't go and talk to
Tom Pearce after that.

- It's all bullshit, it's all
crap.

- You question me on trust.

- I know, I know this.

- When you've done this
and then you expect me

to be like all right, sweet.

I went outside and I was sick.

I was sick.

Do you trust me?

- I hope so, yeah.

- [Ricky] You hope so.

- Well yeah, I do.

Just in the last week, yeah.

- Do you know what I mean, you
can't.

Oh I sort of trust you after
you,

it's the same thing.

- [Jess] Well yeah, I know but
that--

- It's the same thing yet worse,

like, I was talking to my mates,

you're talking to Tom.

- You having a good night?

- Mate, I am having a great
night.

- [Tom] We got you something
anyway, Chaz.

A little surprise, an Essex
present.

["Star Wars" theme music]

[crowd cheering]

- [Crowd Member] Yeah!

[crowd whooping]
[crowd cheering]

♪ One day

[upbeat music]

- It's in mate.
- Oh my God.

- [Tom] Charlie, you in mate?

- [Charlie] Oh shut up, you
idiot.

- [Tom] Dark horse!

Let me get a little bit closer.

[woman squeals]

- I'm gonna get some
air, is that all right?

- Yeah, yeah, okay.

- Here he is.

Are you all right?

- Not really, babe.

- You haven't been
yourself all day, have ya?

- Na, I think I haven't really

been entirely honest.

About things over the last few
days.

That row we had, I kind
of flew off the handles

and I know I tried to
explain it at yours but,

I didn't feel that I could
really tell you the truth.

And I don't really know what's
changed

but I think the time's kinda
come, like.

- I hate seeing you like this
mate.

You don't need to be like this.

- If I could flick a switch
and not feel this I so would.

But by getting to this stage and
thinking

the thoughts and the
feelings and emotions.

I guess in a way what
I'm trying to say is that

I think I've kinda
fallen quite hard for you

and I do, I do love you,
Charlie.

- Erm it's, it's a bit of
a surprise, if I'm honest,

if that's kind of like what
you're saying.

- I didn't ever plan or
expect to tell you this,

especially at your birthday.

And if you kind of need
to break away from me

for a little while or if I've
brought like

shame or embarrassment on you,

I'm really sorry.

- You haven't, don't be silly.

I know you, and you know
what, it's a compliment, Bob.

We have a great, great
friendship mate,

it's a friendship that you
couldn't even dream of,

and honestly mate, nothing
will jeopardise that.

But what you need to understand
for me

is I'm on a journey now, all
right.

I've lived quite a
suppressed life, as you know,

and for me this is all about me
growing,

and going out with the boys,

and having a little smooch
with a girl or a dance

and you've gotta let me do that,

because it's what I wanna do,

and it's the same as I'd do it
for you.

Look at me man,

it's like you can't even look at
me.

You can.

- I feel like I've betrayed you,
Charlie.

- You haven't betrayed me,

you've gotta knock all
that crap out your head.

You know what, Bob, if
there was an inkling

of me that was interested
in you in that way,

fuck it, I'd say you know what
go for it,

but it is what it is.

All right, you've gotta make
sure you're strong enough

and you're cool enough
just to kind of know

that nothing would ever
happen in that side

of things with you and
me, but we are friends

and our friendship means more
than anything else, yeah?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

So you gonna give me a cuddle
then?

There's no problem with that
man,

I'd hate you to be this sad,

I hate seeing it,

I really do all right.

I'm here for you, yeah?

Want me to leave you for a
minute, or?

- Please mate, is that all
right?

- Of course it is.
- Thank you.

- I'm just gonna be
inside the bar, all right.

[Bobby sobs]

[upbeat music]

- [Narrator] Next time on
"The Only Way is Essex".

[Tom farts]

[boys laughing]

Will we ever get the image
of Diags's foreskin face

out of our minds?

Has Jess just dug her own grave?

- It's all bullshit, it's all
crap.

I swear on my life.

- [Narrator] And who is this new
guy?

- Been there, done that.

- [Narrator] And is there anyone
in Essex he hasn't pulled?

- Been a good night though.

- It has.

- Shame about all these ex's
being here.

- [Narrator] Who knows,
these people are real,

and anything can happen

on "The Only Way is Essex."

♪ Won't be long, oh

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now, ooh