Original subtitles

- [Announcer] This programme contains 3D boobs, a juicy rump,

and something very, very fishy.

The tans you see might be fake but the people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been set up purely for your entertainment.

Previously on The Only Way Is Essex.

- I don't trust men, and every boyfriend I've had,

I've never trusted them 100%

because then you're letting your guard down.

- I can't have this.

I have enough shit in my life.

Chloe, so I'll give you the heads up, that's fine.

- [Woman] Lauren, I'm happy that you're happy!

- No, no, no, it's fine, it's fine!

- Marge keeps textin' me,

stop putting make up on, stop putting make up on.

- What is his problem?

- Your fight-- - You're doing it

exactly to her! - She's fine, I bet--

- What you did to me!

- She said the best-- - You still--

- Stay out my life! - You still--

- Don't follow me so closely. - I'm not in your life!

- Come on, let's go. - We'll end this nicely.

- Come on, let's go, we will.

[groovy jazz music]

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ Got there, let me break it off ♪

♪ Oughta push it

♪ What you got, let me take it off ♪

♪ Shake, shake, like your feathers girl ♪

- [groans] Broke the chain! - You broke the chain!

- [Joey] It's come off again, mate.

So shit!

- [Diggs] No it aint.

Go really slow.

Do you actually like that bike then?

- What this Chopper?

- I thought you was just being nice to Arg,

because I thought the fucking the red one you rode in

on was 10 times better.

- The only thing about this one is it breaks all the time,

it's not working now so I can't even ride it.

- It's a pretty small Chopper to be fair.

- It's 'cause it's for eight-year-olds.

[all laughing]

- Listen, at the party the other night,

why did you leave so early with your girlfriend?

- Popey started saying that she had said rumours

that she ain't got any friends or something.

- Yeah but why? - It's pathetic.

- Fuck knows, I don't know.

- Joe, you aint got any friends mate, upset?

[Joe fake crying]

- Fuckin' hell man. - I ain't got no friends.

- You've got no friends. - I don't know man,

I don't know, you know what girls are like.

I don't give give a fuck what happened.

Look she cried and she said, "Can I go home?"

So I was like "All right."

I didn't want to leave.

- So you took her home 'cause--

- Yeah, I took her home

'cause she was crying. - And now you're taking

her out on a date.

Where you taking her?

- I'm gonna take her

to some really nice place called cinema.

- Wait, so you took Lauren Pope to the wine tasting,

got her loads of bottles of wine, the whole day out,

brilliant date, fantastic, by the barrels, snogged her,

and all that.

Now you're taking Lauren Goodge to the cinema?

- Let's go to the cinema and put some glasses on.

- I'll get you a large popcorn and a large drink.

Oh, look at me, Coca-Cola.

- Nah, I aint gonna be watching it anyway.

I'm just gonna be getting on with her, ain't I?

- What, on the back seat?

- Look, there's nothing wrong with the cinema!

Just shut it anyway, enough about that.

I'm taking her the cinema, end of.

- I wouldn't finger her in the cinema.

- I'm not gonna finger her in the cinema.

- I know what you're like. - You're gonna try.

[all laughing]

[upbeat music]

♪ Let's fly away

♪ Drive away

♪ Get away

- Boo, your ratty little blanket,

that you've had since you was born.

Look at the state of it.

- No!

But you know why it's like this,

'cause my hamster ate it when I was about six.

- It makes me feel sick.

- I love it.

Ah thanks.

I'm glad you remembered that.

- This is like the first holiday you're going on without me.

- It's my dad's 50th.

I can't wait.

I've never been to Cad before.

It's gonna be so weird.

I can't believe you're not coming with me.

I've got the essentials.

I've got eyelashes.

I've literally got 15 pairs.

- Are you gonna take fake tan, or what?

- Of course I'm taking fake tan.

You know what I'm like.

I don't go that brown, I only go red.

- Your ginger skin is gonna go pink.

[both laughing]

- You're just being ornery to me

because you jel because you're not coming.

- Yeah, I'm really jel, really jealous.

- Well don't worry, I reckon I'm gonna

miss Elvis more than I'll miss you.

[light guitar music]

- Do you still hate me?

- I don't hate you, I'm obviously just annoyed

at the fact you got involved in something

that you didn't need to get involved in.

Why did you have to talk to Gemma?

- Because I saw her upset,

and I just wanted to help her.

- It just looks to me that going and talking to Gemma

about Arg and telling Gemma that,

"I know Arg, and I know what you're going through."

That you still have feelings for him.

- Like now, I completely understand you may

be thinking that, but it was not that at all,

like I really dislike him as a person.

I've got no feelings to him whatsoever,

and he literally, I don't even recognise who he is anymore,

I just feel like he's a complete and utter stranger.

- Yeah, but he still has feelings for you, doesn't he?

- But I don't think he does.

- Do you know what I mean?

I don't want an ex-boyfriend,

I know you've been out with him for four years,

and I totally respect that,

and I totally understand that there's always

gonna be something there,

but being the new boyfriend

and still seeing someone who's hurt you so much,

still hurt you, hurts me a little bit.

Do you know what I mean?

I pretty a bit annoyed at myself,

the fact that I wasn't there to be able to help you.

- Yeah, but you didn't know that he was gonna come over.

Neither did I.

I just feel really sad

that our first ever argument is about Arg.

- And I hate arguing.

- I hate arguing.

Just don't ever talk about him again.

And I love you and I don't want to ever argue.

- Come here.

- [Lydia] I'm sorry.

- [Tom] You've got fake tan on.

[both laughing]

- Just a little bit.

- I still can't believe she walked off crying.

Like, it was just completely unnecessary.

- I've definitely got more things to worry about

than Lauren denying

whether she said something really silly or not.

And whether she's going out Tom Pierce.

Like, who cares?

Seriously?

Go and get married or something.

God, there's so much ag around at the minute.

- I know!

I've got enough ag to deal with.

- Is that from when you was texting Prince Harry?

- Yeah.

- That is the maddest thing.

- Still now to this day, I have no idea how the story broke.

I think he probably thinks I sold the story,

which I didn't.

- Show your voice how you used to talk.

- Well you just have to be like,

oh, hello, how are you?

[both laughing]

- You know, when you used to see him did you wave like that?

- Always.

Hello.

- I wonder what he'd have done if you'd gone like that.

That would've been so funny 'cause they don't like that.

- But I think he's more normal, isn't he?

- Yeah, but you don't know.

You got to do the royal wave.

- [Lauren P] You don't have to do the royal wave.

It's not like you get arrested

if you don't do the royal wave.

- Yeah, but you get disowned by the Royal Family.

Kate has to change her ways.

- What?

- Imagine if you was an actual princess.

- I know, I think that I could really do that job well.

- I think you could as well,

but you'd have to be a lot posher.

- No, I'd be like the people's princess, like Cheryl Cole.

[both laughing]

[upbeat music]

♪ And I see forward

♪ And I pray for

- [Billie] You all right, Arg?

- [Arg] You all right, Bill?

- Hello. - All right, Sam.

- How are you? - Yeah, not too bad.

I just thought I'd come and pop in

'cause I'm going to see Mick across the road.

He wants me to come and see him at the Sugarhut.

Maybe, I don't know.

- Maybe he wants you to do like a club night there.

- Maybe, that'd be good actually.

- [Sam] Good luck!

- Did you come on your chopper?

- No, actually.

- Unbelievable!

Usually you're like, a bit tight with your presents.

- Me tight?

All the meals and stuff I bought you two.

- All the meals, one pizza.

- But do you know what?

I'm still stressed out though.

- Why now, what you stressed out about?

- Do you know it all kicked off at the party?

- Oh yeah, we know.

You should've just got Gemma, walked away and said to Lydia,

I'm not having this conversation, we're happy.

- I know, I understand where you're coming from,

but at the end of the day I don't think I'm

in the wrong in this at all.

I was a bit upset because I felt that Lydia was trying

to paint this picture

that I'm this nasty, horrible boyfriend or whatever

and I felt that Gemma could--

- But you're not a nasty person, everyone knows that.

- I know that and I felt Gemma could have stuck up

for me a little bit, that's why I was angry.

Lydia should-- - Why are you so angry?

Like, do you have feelings for Lydia?

- No, I don't know, obviously, well I don't know.

I grew up with Lydia, didn't I?

You know, I don't think I'll ever sort

of fully get over her.

You know and I'm happy with Gemma now.

And then obviously the way Lydia acted it was like--

- What, do you think that Lydia

still has strong feelings for you?

- Well, the way that she acted,

you think, well it's obvious, ain't it?

- I think Lydia probably cares about you,

but I think, I don't know.

- [Sam] Obviously, you still make her blood boil.

- Yeah, well they do say there's a very thin line

between love and hate, isn't there?

- I can't believe how long you're going for.

You're leaving me.

I wrote you a little plane letter.

- Aw, a plane letter!

We haven't done these since we were at school.

- I know, but do not open it until you get on the plane.

- I used to always open--

- No, but today you're not allowed.

- I promise.

I promise I won't open it.

Cara this is like the longest I've been away without you.

It's gonna be so horrible! - I'm gonna miss you.

Love you. - I love you so much.

Please don't get any more best friends.

- No more best friends.

- Bye Elvis. - Make sure you Skype me.

- I will.

Bye Elvis.

- Say bye mommy. - Love you.

Snuffy's bye.

- Bye babe. - Love yous, bye.

[car engine rumbles]

Say bye mommy.

Bye babe. - Bye!

- See you next week.

- And then with that he said "Come on Gem, let's go."

So I've walked off with him,

and then he started having a go at me saying,

"You know, you haven't stuck up for me.

"Why have you not stuck up for me?"

And I'm like--

- Well, it wasn't your argument.

She's really nice, Lydia.

She's noticed you haven't been yourself.

- Yeah, she's like "You've not been yourself."

She said, "But how you are, is how I exactly was

"in the relationship with James."

He just says to me like "You know, you look so much better

"without makeup, don't wear makeup."

You know--

- No, you've always worn makeup, Gem.

- I used to wear makeup to school.

- [Mom] You know, you've always worn makeup.

- I love makeup.

- You don't go out the door without makeup on.

That's depressing on its own not wearing makeup.

You cannot let no one control you full stop.

It's just not on, 'cause they don't like you.

That means that they basically don't like the way you are.

- [Gemma] The whole thing is making my nerves bad.

- You know, are you over-tired?

Is it for the fact that you've moved out?

That you're away from me and dad

for the first time in 31 years?

You know, 'cause it's a big thing, isn't it?

And do you miss like staying with me and dad.

'Cause sometimes when you're young

you make a decision, don't you?

And think it's all gonna be wonderful,

but it's not always the case.

Oh, don't cry, come on, come on, what's the matter?

- It's just going wrong, everything's just going wrong.

- What's going wrong?

You know, at the end of the day,

like James is like Jekyll and Hyde, isn't he?

- I just think it's a shame.

It's just such a shame, because the writing's on the wall.

It ain't really going nowhere, is it?

- Well.

- It's not going nowhere, Mom.

Where's he, you know.

What's he doing for me?

I've bought him 400 pound shoes,

150 pound bottle of aftershave.

I'm exhausted, Mom.

What's he doing for me?

I've watched "The Office," like a moron, a thousand times,

'cause that's what he likes to do.

What about what I like to do?

- If things are getting on your nerves,

get rid of him Gem, move on.

- You know, this should be fun.

Where's the fun gone, James?

- What you gonna do then?

- He either makes a big bold statement and woos me,

or [laughs] that's it.

See ya later James.

- Yeah.

[upbeat music]

- Think Bentley's got like-- - He's got a bit jealous.

- He feels a little bit left out.

- Yeah, I've been trying to make a fuss of him though.

I took him for a walk the other day on his own.

- You can't walk her, that's the problem.

- I wouldn't walk her

because she's the gayest dog in the world.

[Lucy laughs]

- We're actually like a little family, Mario, now.

Got our perfect son Bentley,

and then our little bitch daughter.

She's just gotta stop biting people, so naughty.

Let's try.

- [Mario] Go for it.

- Right, you gonna be a good girl.

[dog whining] - No, she's not.

- Oh, oh my god, calm down!

Good girl, there's a good girl.

All right, oh, come on, it doesn't hurt, it's only a lead.

Right, we'll leave her to get settled a little while.

- [Mario] Okay.

- You know, Jessica was in my shop the other day.

She was trying to say to me "Do you really trust him?"

I was like "Yeah."

I kind of feel like when people ask me that question,

when I tell them I do trust you,

it's like I've given them the wrong answer.

- And then Jess turn right around to you

and that said she doesn't trust Ricky?

- She said to me that she's never trust a guy.

That she'll never ever trust a guy 100%.

- Then who is she to say anything to you?

Sorry, I'm not being funny.

This is ridiculous.

- Do you think she's alive?

- [Both] Lola?

- [Lucy] Yeah, she's just sleeping.

- Lovely, I'm awake. - Do you know what?

She's so lazy.

I'm not having a handbag dog.

You're not a handbag dog, Lola, you are gonna be walked.

Right, come on Princess Lola.

No more sleepy time, let's get up.

Let's go home.

I've got so much to do, come on dog!

- Lola, come on.

Pick her up, we're in a rush.

- For god's sake, you're such a diva.

You're a dog, you have legs, you're supposed to use them.

- Come on.

- I hope she's not always like this.

- This is my life.

- What's the most expensive property

you've probably got here?

- [Estate Agent] The most expensive?

It's 3.6 million.

- [Sam] Not that bracket

- But if it was like something like two million

then we'd put like a five-

- Right, can I just say?

We're not going into the two, 3.6 million bracket.

That's just out the question, don't be,

that's just wasting the man's time.

And then do you know what your payments

would be on this a month?

Something ridiculous.

- Five grand?

- 10 grand a month.

- Really?!

- It's gonna be up in that ball park, yeah.

- 10 grand a month? - Exactly.

So why would you want to do that?

- For 25 years!?

- It's ridiculous

- All right, well let's just look at a budget

that we can probably afford then.

- Exactly!

Oh my.

- Are you looking for four bedrooms, did you say, is it?

- Yeah. - I'd say four bedrooms.

I think because we want one bedroom

to be like a dressing room.

- Sure, yeah.

- And obviously, yeah, like kids and that as well.

- Kids? - Not that we've got kids,

I'm just saying.

[all laughing]

- Don't talk about kids yet.

Get your house, enjoy your lives.

- I'm thinking too much ahead, ain't I , in time.

- Little bit.

[light music]

- Jess is the type of person that couldn't cope

with any boy being unruly to her.

He had to be 100% faithful, or forget it,

we're just going on, I know what she's like.

- Well what do you know then? - No, I don't know anything.

I'm just saying, she's been so happy

since the day she met Ricky.

But then all of a sudden, just the last few days,

she's been a bit down.

- What makes you think it's Ricky then?

- I mean he's a nice boy, Ricky,

but obviously this age gap, I think could show out in it.

He reminds me of little Mark when he was younger.

- Yeah, and they love one another, don't they?

Because, I mean, they've turned around

and said they love one another.

So I mean I can't see--

- Honestly, they've been together two months, you know?

Maybe she's jumped in too quick.

She has been known to do that before, hasn't she?

- It wouldn't be because he macks about with all the girls,

macks about before all us lot,

and then he'll mack about with the girl?

- This is a young man,

and some boys put on a plate to them and they can't resist.

I'm not for one minute saying Ricky's done that,

but if we were to go ask,

yeah, I would say something obviously has happened.

I think he could be quite easily led.

He's quite gullible.

- I don't know, yeah.

- He's a bit larger to be honest with you, he's the same.

If he's done that now, well then,

he's always gonna do it.

- No matter how much they say,

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again,"

they always do it again, don't they?

If he has hurt her, he'll get one of them, and I mean it.

Because I've done it before now.

- Absolutely.

- You're right, you should get lots of bedrooms,

but for all your clothes, at the moment and the shoes.

- And the games room maybe, obviously.

Do they come with the house,

or do you have to actually build them in?

- Games room?

- Games room?

- Yeah, obviously.

- I've never seen you play a game, any kind of game.

What, are you just wasting Steve's time?

- I'm not wasting his time.

I'm asking a serious question here.

- Do you mean like snooker tables,

and them big ugly computer game things?

- Pinball machines, slot machines, maybe a beanbag room,

or something like that.

Just think fun so we can cotch.

The cotch room, we'll call it.

- [Sam] What do you mean a cotch room?

- It's basically a room where

maybe me and the boys will hang out,

'cause I ain't gonna hang out in the garden.

Where will we sit?

- Well, that's what the lounge is for.

Let's say I'm in the kitchen.

- The lounge is gonna be all pink.

That's not homely, it's pink.

- We're not gonna have like royal blue.

It's just not homely.

- Well, what colour do you want?

- Beige, brown.

- I like things like pastel colours,

you know like pastel pink and--

- You can't do this to me,

you can't say we're putting the house pink.

That's a step-- - Can I just say,

right, okay, right,

do you know my room now is like a really

sort of pastelly paisley pink, isn't it?

- No, it's pink. - It's not.

- In Sam's defence, her house is beautiful

the way she's decorated it,

and your flat is exactly the same as when you moved in.

[all laughing] - So true.

[upbeat music]

- It's a bit annoying that I can't come out

with you boys today, really,

but I'm taking the lady out for something to eat.

- How's it all going with the Wright family?

Obviously being there all the time.

- It's been good. - Calling him Ricky Wright.

- Ricky Wright, Ricky Wrong.

- Carol did look good the other day, didn't she?

We was all like, go on Carol.

- Smoking. - Not scared, are you,

with those tight little pants?

[all laughing]

- I suppose it's like a little family, I suppose,

with me, Jess, little dog,

we're taking him puppy training classes together.

It's been a bit strange though.

- Tell me about it, mate.

- Since you saw Luce, it's weird, mate.

It's like Jess, no, Jess went in to Lucy's,

in being caring she's sort of stepped the line a little bit,

and been a bit of a busy bitch to be honest,

no disrespect to Jess.

- [Little Chris] Rick, sort your woman out.

- She's sort of like questioned Lucy's trust towards me,

like do you trust him?

Are you sure you trust him?

So it's agg'd me a little bit,

'cause I just think I've put a 25 grand ring on her finger.

What more can I fucking do

without people just leaving me alone?

- I don't think she was doing it to be spiteful.

I don't think she was like sort

of giving her advice like that,

I think it was more, she's like a motherly figure,

like she felt like she needed to help her.

- I get that, the thing is I get that,

but there's a different thing where you go in,

and you're being like make sure you trust him.

It's fine if you don't trust him.

It sounds like you're trying to say,

you shouldn't trust him, don't trust him.

Do you know what I mean?

I just sort of feel-- - Yeah, I mean if Lucy--

- I think that's out of line.

- Rick, the question is snog, marry, avoid?

Nanny Pat, Carol and Jess.

[all laughing]

[soft music]

- [Arg] All right, Mick?

- Hello, mate, all right.

Have a pew, you all right?

- [Arg] Yeah, not too bad.

- See you later.

Thanks for coming to see me.

- What can I do for you then, Mick?

- I'm a little bit put out to be honest with you.

- Go on.

- 'Cause obviously the other day I was around you

when you was having a word with Lyd,

and I don't know if you realise what you're like

when you're talking to a girl like that.

And I just felt it was disrespectful

to her, to you, to Gemma, to everyone that was around it

to reduce the girl to tears like that.

- I just don't think it's right, Mick,

for Lydia to go over to Gemma

dishing out advice, giving her opinions.

- And that ain't even your girlfriend,

that's the difference.

Do you know what I mean?

Your girlfriend was standing next to ya,

and then your ex-girlfriend you're tearing a strip off her.

- Lydia does bring out that in me, unfortunately.

I don't wanna make her cry,

and I don't wanna make her feel intimidated by me,

but at the same time what I was saying I don't feel,

I can't go back on what I said because what I said is true.

- It's not even about that.

I think it's about just the way

you went about talking to her.

If you was in my club,

and that was going on the doormen

would've hoofed you out the place, it wouldn't go on.

You couldn't, you was waving your finger in her face,

and giving it to her like that.

- I don't remember going like that to her face.

- Oh no, you was. - You sure?

- Massively.

You was in her face, giving her the finger,

right in her face, mate, bang out of order.

It ain't good and it's not good for you to be doing that,

and that's what upset me to see that, it really did.

- All right, cheers Mick, sorry about that, mate.

- It's all right, say that to Lydia now.

- Okay, I understand, I understand.

- [Mick] Good man.

[soft music]

- What's the matter with you?

You're really quiet. - Am I?

- [Mom] Yeah, even daddy's noticed it, and Nanny.

- I don't know, at the minute for some reason with Ricky,

I'm like really happy on one sense, like really happy,

and then there's something there that's not right.

Every like so often I get messages,

like tweets and stuff saying that he's cheating,

and some of them were like quite repeated

so I was thinking, like is this true,

and I gave him the benefit of the doubt,

and obviously he was like of course it's not true.

I'm going in this like with my full heart,

and he knows that.

And I just really hope that he's true to his word.

- Well you're obviously thinking that you can't trust him.

- I think it's where it's the whole,

where the Lucy and Mario thing,

I'm not saying that Mario's cheated,

but the subject of maybe he has cheated or whatever,

it's just in my head.

- Yeah, just confront him, just like see

if he'll tell the truth.

- I'm seeing him later anyway so I'm gonna.

I might chat with him then,

'cause I've gotta get it off my chest.

I can't keep holding it in

[light music]

- Hello. - Sup, guys?

- Hi, Tom.

- What do you reckon?

So I've got this or the leather jack?

- That jacket is sick.

- I know, that's why I've bought it.

- You got to wear the jacket. - You got to wear the jacket.

Tom P special.

- You know that, if you wear that,

'cause you normally [speaks quickly],

so if you wear that and you wear that

over the top of that you'll be sweet.

- Tom, last time we was...

Tom you should have some Botox in your armpits

and then that won't happen no more.

It's only a couple of injections.

- It ain't that bad.

It's just really hot in here.

- [Chloe] How often is it a problem?

- All right, let me try this one.

- What are you doing?

- Trying on this one.

- Trust me, that outfit is creepy sick.

[all laughing]

- I think this is definitely better.

- I think this is definitely a better look.

- Yeah man, a salty potato, naughty.

- Is it like proper salt?

- You look stoss, stoss, stoss.

- All right.

- Stossy and zen. - So are you nervous

taking her to the pictures? - No, not at all.

Why would I be nervous man?

It's like, I'm only going cinema, aren't I?

- So what are you gonna do after that?

You ain't gonna take her for a drink, be realistic,

you're gonna take her back to the yard.

- No, I'm gonna take her for a drink.

Popping champers, isn't it?

- Yeah, then afterwards the yard.

[all laughing]

- All right, well I'll take her to the cinema,

take her for a drink,

and then if she wants to come back to the yard,

then I'll bang her. [all laughing]

- Oh my god.

- She's gonna fucking kill me if you tell her I said that.

- I'm not gonna say anything. - Well, she hates me now,

so she definitely won't find out off me.

- All right sweet, I'll wear this, right guys.

- Good luck, Tom.

- Sick outfit, good luck, mate.

- See ya later.

- Be careful, be safe.

Do you reckon he'll get it on her?

- Yeah. - Me too, yeah.

Mm, tea.

[upbeat music]

- Bobby, you've got absolutely beautiful feet here.

- I was dating a guy once, and he wanted me

to wear various flip flops while he touched himself.

And wanted to suck my toes,

and I couldn't even kiss him after that

'cause I thought them lips

have probably sucked so many toes.

- Can you mend a broken heart with rubbing the feet?

- It can make you stronger emotionally,

but it can't harden your heart, Gemma,

if that's what you want.

With reflexology we can get quite a clear indication

by your feet of what's going on in your life.

- And what is going on?

- A little bit of congestion going on

around the pelvic floor,

so I would suggest some pelvic floor exercises.

- What?

- Flapping around like flip flops.

- [Technician] No, I don't think they are!

[all laughing]

We've got a little bit of water retention

going on here as well.

Do you spend a lot of time on your feet?

- I literally wake up in the morning and I don't stop.

I think I've got something wrong with me.

- That or you're pregnant.

- Told you that.

[soft music]

- Hey. - Hello, babe, you look nice.

- Thank you. - You look ready

for a night out. - I do, don't I?

I'm a bit too over dressed.

- High heels, honestly it's what I expected from you anyway.

- Well it's how I normally dress anyway.

- We got three choices, all right?

Ice Age, Katy Perry, or Spider-Man, what do you reckon?

- I've seen Katy Perry.

I've seen Spider-Man, so Ice Age.

What?

- All right, no, it's fine.

I wanted Spider-Man a little bit, but it's all right.

- Oh, do you?

- No I'm only joking.

They're all 3D though you know that, yeah?

- We got to wear them glasses?

- Yeah, it's 3D.

- Do you think you'll pull them off better?

- Of course I'm gonna be able to pull off better.

Are you gonna be able to pull them off?

- Of course! [laughs]

- Let's get to it then, yeah.

All right, what do you want, popcorn?

- Yeah. - All right.

[light music]

- The keys come on Friday, to the flat.

- [Jess] You excited?

- Really excited.

- I bet.

- It's big.

I think you'll like it.

You're gonna have to be going out shopping,

getting furniture, TVs.

You'll have your little section.

You can't have a wardrobe

because I haven't got no wardrobes for me.

You can definitely have a drawer.

It's exciting times.

- It's really good.

Thank you!

- Look at that, lovely.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You'll be allowed to stay in my room, won't you?

What about a little watchful eye, Don Corleone?

[chuckles]

[Jess clears throat]

What's up?

- [Jess] I don't know.

[upbeat music]

- Time to work your magic, boys.

- Do I look good?

- I think you should wear them all the time.

- I know.

What you doing?

My god, that's actually stuck to my dress.

Not there.

- Shut up.

- Stop looking at my boobs, please.

- They look 3D in these glasses.

- There's popcorn in my bum.

- I'm not getting it out for you.

- Don't try and touch my boobs.

- Give us a little kiss.

- When you talk about all this stuff

and the flat and the future,

and all that stuff that you always talk about.

I just don't know anymore.

- What do you mean?

I don't mean what?

- I don't know if you're ready for what you say,

like I feel like you've been really full on,

and I'm so scared that you're 21, I'm 26.

- We've both been full on.

- Yeah, I've been full on, but.

- Well then the age shouldn't even come into it.

There's one thing I know and it's I know that I want you,

and I love you, and these last couple of weeks,

like I, you know what I'm like, I don't let emotions out,

and I keep things in and I bottle them up.

But the feelings for you, for me,

have just been growing and growing and,

I don't know, I just know that I want to be with you,

and I can see a future with you.

I love you so much, like you don't understand,

like but when I sit at home,

and I just think about you I get emotional.

Look, I want you to be with me,

watching little Blake grow up and be a big dog.

- I just don't know, like the trust thing

is just on my head all the time,

and I don't know why I can't shake it off.

I can't trust you.

- Well what do you want me to do then?

- I don't know.

I just don't want to go down the line

if I think you're potentially could cheat on me.

Messages on Twitter and stuff and all that.

- You don't understand what I had to deal with

when everything was with you.

I used to get messages all the time

about you and other fellas, I still do,

but I just, I trust you.

- I don't think you know what you're getting into.

- Well listen, I don't do what I've just done.

I don't put my heart on the table, and I've done it.

And whether you choose to take it, accept it,

but if you wanna give me the chance,

if you wanna do it and see what can happen,

if you love me as much as you say,

and I love you as much as I say

then I don't see any reason why we can't come together

and just crack on, 'cause I think there's something there.

- And you've not cheated on me?

- I can't say anything.

I've got nothing left.

- I think I just need to go away

and think about everything you've said

and just see what happens.

I wanna believe you and I think I do.

I've just got so much going on in my head.

I don't know what to think.

- Right, see ya later then.

[clears throat]

[downcast music]

- That was real good.

- You like it? - Yeah.

- I would much rather watch Spider-Man, babe.

- Really?

- No, this was fun, this was good.

- Did my hair mess up from my glasses?

- Yeah, it looks shit.

[laughs] No it looks fine.

- You wouldn't stop kissing me, touching me, talking.

- Excuse me, you kept trying to feel me.

- Excuse me?

Oh yeah, come on.

What we doing now?

- I think for a drink, yeah?

- Come on then.

[gravel crunching]

[easygoing music]

- James, oh my god.

- [James] No wait, just go back Gemma.

- It's James, and I got pink fishies.

- [Arg] Gemma?

- [Gemma] Yeah?

- Gemma, I just want you to know that,

I wouldn't have done this for anyone else.

I really wouldn't.

- Do you love me 100%?

- I love you 100%, I think I've proved it now.

I know obviously I'm allergic to cats,

and I don't really like dogs,

so I wanted to buy you a pet

and I've got you some kissing fish.

I know you love pink,

so I thought I'd give you like a pink fish tank.

I just want you to know that I'm so proud

that you're my girlfriend.

But listen, Gem, you're not really pregnant, are ya?

- Well I don't know yet.

- What? - I don't know yet.

- All right, but you don't reckon though.

- I don't know.

- [laughs] All right, well listen,

before I shrivel up any more,

I think I need to come inside.

- No, you can give me the fish and then you can go.

- What, why? - I'm joking, you stupid sod.

- Shall I just walk in?

- Yeah.

Oh, don't kill them, James.

They're like our little babies.

What do we call them?

[door slamming] - Maybe Posh and Becks.

[trumpets blaring]

- [Announcer] Next time on "The Only Way Is Essex."

- I think I've got something wrong with me.

- That or you're pregnant.

- [Announcer] Is Gemma having a baby or is it hot air?

- What?

- [Announcer] Will Lola ever learn to walk?

- No come on, pick her up.

Jeez, we're in a rush.

- [Lucy] Oh for god sake, such a diva!

- [Announcer] And will Arg's hammy performance do the trick?

♪ Oh I'm stuck being in love

- James, oh my god.

- [Announcer] Ooh, that reminds me,

I must pick up that leg of pork!

Who knows?

These people are real,

and anything can happen on "The Only Way Is Essex."

♪ Hold on, oh

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now