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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,478 No! No! No! Please! 2 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:21,772 Hey, where the fuck are my journals? 3 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,778 Do you know a man named Rudy Guede? 4 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,239 His prints and DNA are all over the murder scene. 5 00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:31,657 They found the killer? 6 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,618 He's got a history of drug use, aggression towards women. 7 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,663 Why are they still going after our daughter? 8 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,003 What? So, why wasn't he in jail? 9 00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,631 -If he had been, then... -Meredith would still be alive. 10 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,512 I might never get out of here. 11 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:56,390 You need to start accepting a life without me. 12 00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:59,143 -My girl. She's gone, her fight is gone. -Okay, but she's gonna be alright. 13 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:02,354 If I'm gonna lose her anyway, then what's the point? 14 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:14,116 When we get out from here, we go to Gubbio. 15 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,867 I want lunch and dinner. 16 00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:18,579 Libertà! Libertà! 17 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,956 Amanda, what's it like being back home? 18 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:24,459 I keep thinking that I'm going on with my life, 19 00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:27,212 and then there are these moments where I just can't. 20 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,798 Everyone hates me, even the people who think I'm innocent. 21 00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:32,593 My prison would always be the false stories 22 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,970 spun about me, the monster. 23 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:39,433 There was only one thing I could think to do. 24 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,602 I had to go to the author. 25 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:23,662 I always suspected that this made it impossible for us 26 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,747 to see and understand each other. 27 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:31,253 When I was 20, when I was imprisoned and on trial, 28 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,588 you seemed a powerful and scary man 29 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:36,133 intent on destroying my life. 30 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:40,053 But when I saw interviews with you, I realized that image of you was wrong. 31 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:44,099 It was flat and two-dimensional, like the media's image of me. 32 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:50,230 I saw you as a man, not just as my prosecutor, 33 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:54,443 a father of daughters with genuine motivations. 34 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,237 I saw a man who was not evil, 35 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,531 and I too am not a monster. 36 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:03,827 It's difficult. In my daily life, I often feel 37 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,289 that what I experienced in Italy is in the past. 38 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:10,333 But at any minute, I suddenly feel in the middle of it again. 39 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,921 Like I'm still in prison and on trial. 40 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,633 ♪ After I've taken the blame ♪ 41 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,178 ♪ You say you're through ♪ 42 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,929 Even in my happiest moments... 43 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,975 ...when I'm regaled with affection, 44 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,103 surrounded by love and family... 45 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:35,025 ...I am haunted by memories of helplessness, 46 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:39,029 loneliness, and grief, and the sense that I'm being hunted. 47 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,952 Even in times of great promise, 48 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,705 I am tortured by the question, "Why?" 49 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,957 Why did this happen to me? 50 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:55,253 I hope that by talking to you, I will find out this answer. 51 00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,756 Oh, my God, Chris, he wrote back. 52 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,883 What does he say? 53 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,050 -Oh, my God, Chris. -What? 54 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,135 He... He says he won't discuss the case with me, 55 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:45,720 but then he tells me to watch this. 56 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:48,807 M-Maigret is suffering because he put an innocent man in jail. 57 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,476 You have to listen to this. 58 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,438 Mignini told me to watch this. 59 00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,733 "When you find yourself" 60 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:03,154 "circling around a solution and you can't grasp it, 61 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,699 "you are truly tempted to invent, 62 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,201 "to construct a guilty party." 63 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,080 "But in the moment you reopen your eyes to the facts..." 64 00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:15,584 "They become erroneous." 65 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,297 Holy fuck. 66 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,766 Amanda Knox's roommate's killer 67 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,392 was released early from prison today. 68 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,478 Third defendant was convicted and imprisoned... 69 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,188 National headlines and deep controversy... 70 00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,315 Guede has told his lawyers he wants to be forgotten. 71 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,192 ...conviction of 30 years in the first degree... 72 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,985 ...reduced Guede's jail time by an additional 45 days. 73 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,821 ...maintains his innocence, saying that Amanda Knox... 74 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,363 -Amanda Knox... -Amanda Knox... 75 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:46,489 -Amanda Knox. -Amanda Knox. 76 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,574 Amanda Knox. 77 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,826 -You have an announcement? -Hmm? 78 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,328 You invited Dad and Mom, 79 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,579 you have news. 80 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,956 -You're pregs again. -What? Really? 81 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,416 -No. No, I'm... -Honey. 82 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,376 No, I'm not. 83 00:06:58,460 --> 00:06:59,461 Um... 84 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:03,757 Uh, I'm... I'm thinking of going back to Italy. 85 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,719 -What?! -Why? 86 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,054 What are you talking about? 87 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,975 I have been writing letters with Giuliano. 88 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,310 -Giuliano? -Pig-nini? 89 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,520 -Since when? -Uh, a while now. 90 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,813 Amanda, what the fuck? 91 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,649 -Why would... -Come on, Chris. Seriously? 92 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:21,858 Wh... I mean why? 93 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,361 Because hating him forever doesn't help me understand anything. 94 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,363 -I mean, what's to understand? -Him. 95 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:30,200 Why... Why he came after me. Why he hated me. 96 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,743 Why he ignored evidence. 97 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:34,621 -I mean... -Because he's evil. An ogre. 98 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,581 -An asshole. -Ja, this, yes. 99 00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,792 W-What has he been saying to you? 100 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,878 We... We talk about a lot. We talk about our families. 101 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,796 You talked about us with him? 102 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,172 -He has agreed to meet with me. -Jesus. 103 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,715 -What? -Meet with you? 104 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,592 Where... Where are you gonna meet, Perugia? 105 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,469 -I mean, you can't go back there, Amanda. -I know. 106 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,346 The people there, they're still out for blood. 107 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,431 I know, I'll... I'll lay low. I'll stay hidden. 108 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,933 Oh, but you'll show yourself to him? 109 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:57,477 The man who threw you in jail with no evidence. 110 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,354 It's been a decade since you're free. 111 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,690 Why don't you just move on? 112 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,441 Yeah, that's easy for you to say, Chris, 113 00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:06,820 you don't have the word "murderer" branded on your face. 114 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,614 You're e-exonerated, honey. It's all... That's all over. 115 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,450 -Yeah. -It's not though. 116 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:14,327 Did you know Rudy Guede was released early from prison today? 117 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,913 What? Why didn't you say anything? 118 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,290 Yeah, you know what the first headline we read was? 119 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:22,460 "Amanda Knox's Roommate's Killer Freed." 120 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:25,255 Not "Meredith Kercher's Killer Freed," not "Rudy Guede Freed." 121 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:29,175 Meredith's murder is always discussed in the context of Amanda. 122 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,886 People are fixated on her, 123 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,097 and they've completely forgotten everybody else. 124 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,850 I mean, she also posts a lot of shit that makes people angry. 125 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,101 She was proven innocent. 126 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,186 But Edda, people still think she was involved. 127 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,105 And believe me, I have spent I don't know how many hours 128 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,523 arguing with them online. 129 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,817 Oh, really, you spent hours arguing online? 130 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,153 Who cares what a bunch of idiots on the internet think? 131 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:51,197 You wouldn't care if millions of people thought you were a killer? 132 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,908 You'd do anything to change the narrative. 133 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,743 -Oh, since where are you the expert? -Chris. 134 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:56,746 -That's right, you weren't there. -Please. 135 00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:58,705 Yeah, well, I'm here now, man. 136 00:08:58,788 --> 00:08:59,873 Oh. 137 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,333 She needs this. 138 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,085 Okay, with all due respect, 139 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,837 how can she possibly need this? 140 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,631 This guy is dangerous and he is vindictive. 141 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,509 -Please. -Amanda, you... You're... You're doing well. 142 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:14,637 -Your... Your life is full. -You... But you... You're a mother now, 143 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,389 you have a beautiful baby girl. 144 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:19,809 Why can't you just... Can you not just focus on that? 145 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,519 That's exactly what I'm doing. 146 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,691 You know the first thing I said to Eureka when she was born? 147 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,361 I said, "I'm sorry. 148 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,405 I am... I'm sorry I'm your mom." 149 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,700 Oh, honey. 150 00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:38,578 This... This shadow I've been living under since I'm 20, 151 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,831 I'm supposed to, what, accept that our daughter has to live under it too? 152 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,793 And I... And I'm not gonna have to wait until she can read about it herself. 153 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,837 The... The tomes of malignant shit about me online. 154 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,590 It's gonna happen on the playground. 155 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,301 As soon as one gossipy parent tells their kid who I am, 156 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,929 she's gonna... she's gonna have so many questions 157 00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,348 that I do not have the answer to. 158 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:06,397 This meeting with Mignini might give me one, okay? 159 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:10,735 And if there's any chance that he'll finally see me 160 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,487 and wipe the slate clean... 161 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,448 it's fucking worth it. 162 00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,495 Talk to you, please? 163 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,131 Are you fucking kidding me right now? 164 00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:33,466 Okay. I didn't expect you to understand... 165 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,760 How could you do this to us? 166 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,263 After everything we've been through. To Mom? 167 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,141 Do you have any idea how hard it was? 168 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,309 Fighting to get you back nearly killed her. 169 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,437 And I don't know if you're even capable of noticing, 170 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,315 but Mom and Chris didn't sleep in the same bed 171 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,691 for over a year after you got back. 172 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,151 Wait a minute, what? I didn't know that. 173 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,194 What did you think that was? 174 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,072 Fifteen months of jet lag keeping him on the sofa? 175 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,658 Chris was basically a bachelor in Italy, for what, 176 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,827 three years, so that he could be there and visit you. 177 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,996 They didn't know how to live together anymore. 178 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,747 That is not my fault, Deanna. 179 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,416 No, nothing's your fault. 180 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,877 Not on "The Amanda Show." 181 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:16,634 Wow. That is not fair. That's not fair. 182 00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:21,472 What's not fair is that I had to drop out of school, 183 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:24,559 that Ashley was getting into literal fights with classmates, 184 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,311 Delaney was having panic attacks. 185 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,397 The blast radius of you going to Italy was pretty huge. 186 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:33,985 Look, I... Again, I am... I am so sorry for everything you went through, I am. 187 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,945 But I am the one who went to prison. 188 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,406 And I am still in prison. 189 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,033 Please. 190 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,287 You're gonna do whatever the fuck you want, aren't you? 191 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,181 Just one second. 192 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,727 Please, can I... 193 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,188 Can I please just explain myself? 194 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,941 Can you just look at me for one second? 195 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,864 Hey, you're still here. 196 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,158 Yeah, I was helping your mom clean up. 197 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,661 -Really? -Yeah. 198 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,871 Chris was playing video games. 199 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,166 -Do you need a minute? -No, no. 200 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,376 She's asleep. 201 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,796 Are you sleeping at all? 202 00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,341 -Yeah. I remember those early years. -Yeah. 203 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,550 They're tough. 204 00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,931 You have nothing to apologize for. 205 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:50,103 It just about broke my heart hearing you said that to Eureka. 206 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:56,067 You're a fantastic mom. She's lucky to have you. 207 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,778 You're the strongest person I've ever known. 208 00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,030 -Dad. -And God knows you've proven 209 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,740 that you can hold your own. 210 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,370 But now that you're dead set on going back to Italy... 211 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:12,542 I have to say that your judgment about handing yourself back to him... 212 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:17,463 I'm sorry, I just... I do not trust Mignini. 213 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:20,591 I'm not asking you to trust Mignini, I'm asking you to trust me. 214 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,890 It's just the last time that I gave you my blessing, 215 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,475 it did not turn out so well. 216 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,399 I can't not go. 217 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,694 Well, then I'm going with you. 218 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:45,158 Fuck if I'm gonna let you set foot in that country again without me. 219 00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:52,957 Amanda, I don't like this. I don't like this at all. 220 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,460 Well, this is the plan. So, can you... 221 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,962 I swear to God, if you tell me to relax... 222 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,504 I'm not telling you to relax. 223 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:03,885 I harbor a wish that you'd relax, but I'm not telling you to relax. 224 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,388 Okay, here we go. 225 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,140 Just like we talked about. 226 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,017 Don't move, don't make a sound. 227 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,227 They see you, they make a call. 228 00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:15,814 They make a call, and they're all hunting you inside of ten minutes. 229 00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,398 He's hunting her already. 230 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,359 He never stopped, never will, and here we are, 231 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:21,736 just going into the mouth of the wolf. 232 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,946 -Mom, Mom, will you please? -It's a trap. 233 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,532 -It's not a trap. -It is a trap that that monster 234 00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:28,451 has set for you, and you are walking right into it. 235 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,661 We should just turn back, Amanda. 236 00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:32,663 There's no way we're going back. 237 00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,140 -What's happening? -Kuh-nox! 238 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,934 What's happening? No, no, no, no! 239 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,602 -What the fuck is going on? -No, Chris! 240 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:56,437 -No! Do not... -Chris, please! No! 241 00:14:58,439 --> 00:14:59,899 -Amanda! -Mom! 242 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,115 -Hey, hey, hey. -What's happening? 243 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,325 -You're okay. -Where am I? Where are we? 244 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,160 We're in the safe house. We're in Italy. 245 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,462 I'm sorry. 246 00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,714 -No, don't be sorry. -I'm sorry. 247 00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:29,929 You're ready for this, okay? 248 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,639 You're gonna do great tomorrow. 249 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,351 I don't know what I'm doing here. 250 00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,689 I mean, am I... Am I fooling myself? 251 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,732 Am I gonna leave more fucked up than I came? 252 00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,484 -No, you're not fucked up. -What am I... 253 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,528 Am I not? I want Giuliano Mignini 254 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,946 to tell me he's sorry. 255 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,992 I want him to admit that he hurt me, that's... 256 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,543 If you go in there needing something from him... 257 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:04,464 you'll fail. 258 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,508 I know, and I can't fail. 259 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,559 -Amanda. -Don Saulo, ciao! 260 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,195 Si. 261 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,999 I... I'm just gonna stay here, on... on this bench. 262 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:42,543 I don't wanna see that man's face ever again. 263 00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,995 I'll be right here. 264 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:19,372 -Okay? -Okay. 265 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,998 -Alright. -I love you. 266 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,750 I love you too. 267 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,461 Love you, sweetie. 268 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,545 Okay. 269 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:27,755 Okay. 270 00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,428 I'm, uh, I'm gonna let him talk first. 271 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:38,140 I'm gonna... I'm gonna let him say anything he has to say, 272 00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,601 and then... and then I'm gonna speak. 273 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,186 -Right. -Okay. 274 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,481 Oh, God, I'm nervous. 275 00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:37,658 Ah. 276 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,647 Um... 277 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,231 Uh... 278 00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:42,908 ...and saints. 279 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,664 I'm guilty of this too. 280 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,959 When I was on trial... 281 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:56,922 you were a frightening man 282 00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,799 who had only one goal... 283 00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,802 to destroy my life. 284 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:07,558 But I know this image of you is wrong. 285 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:12,980 It is as flat and as two-dimensional as "Foxy Knoxy." 286 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,899 You've said this to me. 287 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:15,983 What? 288 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,278 You said this to me in your first letter. 289 00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,406 But you need to say it again? 290 00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:29,079 I didn't come here to prove you wrong. 291 00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:36,837 I believe that you acted with genuine noble motivations, 292 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:39,590 even though you caused tremendous harm. 293 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:46,722 And I believe that you were trying to bring justice to a grieving family. 294 00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:52,102 And I want you to know that I do not hate you. 295 00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,733 It took courage for you to come here. 296 00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:02,363 -We have this in common. -Oh? 297 00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:05,658 Do you think it is wise for me to interact with you at all? 298 00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:09,119 Given the vicious attacks leveled against me 299 00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:10,788 by the Knox PR machine? 300 00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:15,334 In my 41 years of service, never did I experience 301 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:17,878 such ruthless slander against me. 302 00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:21,423 I know you felt unjustly villainized by the U.S. press. 303 00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:24,760 I was the corrupt medieval inquisitor. 304 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,345 I was blamed for everything. 305 00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:29,014 Never have I been so outraged. 306 00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:32,810 People trying to profit from the destruction of my name. 307 00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:35,646 I can only imagine how painful that can be. 308 00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,982 Then you reach out to me, 309 00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:41,777 say "My Prosecutor" with such affection... 310 00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:43,153 Uh... 311 00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,739 I will admit it, it moved me. 312 00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:47,658 That was kind of a mistake. 313 00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:49,201 Excuse me? 314 00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:52,746 It... It was a linguistic foible. 315 00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:55,040 Um, in... in English, 316 00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:59,295 we say "my prosecutor" without connoting affection. 317 00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:02,590 Um, it really just means, "the prosecutor of my case." 318 00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:05,551 And as you know, there are things we say in English 319 00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,804 that don't have an exact counterpart in Italian. 320 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:13,183 Like, "see you later." 321 00:23:18,188 --> 00:23:19,773 Courageous indeed. 322 00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:29,283 Just a moment. 323 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,789 What's happening? 324 00:23:35,873 --> 00:23:38,626 -I don't know. -Who's he calling? 325 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:40,628 I don't know. 326 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:45,090 I'm scared, I'm scared. 327 00:23:45,174 --> 00:23:47,384 -I feel okay. -You do? 328 00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:49,178 But you can leave anytime, if you need. 329 00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,764 -Okay. -Stay calm, Amanda. 330 00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:53,307 -Huh? -I'm trying, I'm trying. 331 00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:55,601 I apologize. 332 00:23:56,727 --> 00:23:57,728 Uh... 333 00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:01,315 I'm responsible for telling my wife 334 00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:02,858 when it's time to take her pills. 335 00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:05,319 Just please tell me, are the police on their way? 336 00:24:05,402 --> 00:24:06,403 What? 337 00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:10,324 What do you think this is? 338 00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:12,910 Dear, you asked me to meet. 339 00:24:12,993 --> 00:24:14,870 Did you think I would use this meeting 340 00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:16,997 -to what, to entrap you? -No, no, I didn't. 341 00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:19,750 But my... my people, my family, they all think that... 342 00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:22,503 You see? This is what I'm talking about. 343 00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:25,714 We don't just go around arresting people without cause here. 344 00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:28,342 -Why don't we sit? -This case has shown me 345 00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:29,885 the dark side of America, 346 00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:32,930 its ignorance, its entitlement. 347 00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:34,640 You must understand, Amanda, 348 00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:37,101 my prosecuting you wasn't personal. 349 00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:39,687 When you asked for a life sentence for me, 350 00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,730 that felt pretty personal. 351 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,691 The sentences I ask for 352 00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:46,443 do not reflect the heart of the person I'm trying. 353 00:24:46,527 --> 00:24:48,946 They reflect the severity of the crime. 354 00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:51,198 And the crime against Meredith was severe. 355 00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:53,200 -But I did not kill her. -Look, Amanda, 356 00:24:53,283 --> 00:24:55,703 I did my duty in full conscience, 357 00:24:55,786 --> 00:24:57,746 given the facts I had at the time. 358 00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,331 Now, look at you, 359 00:24:59,415 --> 00:25:00,833 you are free now. 360 00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:04,128 -It's water under the bridge. -Why are you here, Dottor Mignini? 361 00:25:05,045 --> 00:25:07,923 -What do you mean? -Why... Why did you come here today? 362 00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:11,301 Because this meeting is extraordinary, it's something that doesn't happen. 363 00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:15,055 So, I'm a curiosity? You... You wanted to see how I turned out? 364 00:25:15,139 --> 00:25:17,266 I came to care for you through our letters. 365 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,226 Why did you send me Maigret? 366 00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:24,773 To help you understand me and my role. 367 00:25:25,691 --> 00:25:27,401 Not to admit you were wrong? 368 00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:28,485 Oh. 369 00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:32,656 Amanda, by the time I got to you, 370 00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:36,660 the police had already made some investigative decisions. 371 00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:38,328 You mean investigative mistakes. 372 00:25:38,412 --> 00:25:42,166 They weren't used to cases of this magnitude. 373 00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:45,794 -The media attention, the... the pressure. -Neither was I. 374 00:25:47,171 --> 00:25:49,256 It was hard on you. I know that. 375 00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:53,343 People think I'm a monster. 376 00:25:53,427 --> 00:25:55,387 -I never called you a monster. -Foxy Knoxy, 377 00:25:55,471 --> 00:25:57,848 femme fatale, adulteress, Luciferina. 378 00:25:57,931 --> 00:25:59,808 Oh, I never called you Luciferina. 379 00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:01,769 -Pacelli did. -You didn't have to. 380 00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:03,812 You placed me at the scene of the crime. 381 00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:06,231 You talked about how I tortured and taunted Meredith. 382 00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:09,401 Amanda, that was my approximation of the crime. 383 00:26:09,485 --> 00:26:14,406 An investigator must painstakingly reconstruct a past event 384 00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:15,783 which he didn't observe. 385 00:26:15,866 --> 00:26:17,409 Yeah, through evidence, I would hope. 386 00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:20,537 This is where you think you know, but you don't know, okay? 387 00:26:20,621 --> 00:26:24,500 Initially, an investigator is guided by his reasoning, 388 00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:28,253 but also by hypothesis that the crime scene suggests to him. 389 00:26:28,337 --> 00:26:30,923 And he must follow his hypothesis 390 00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:34,343 and be ready to review it when he realizes 391 00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:37,137 that his assumption is arbitrary and not proven. 392 00:26:37,221 --> 00:26:39,765 But your assumption was arbitrary and not proven. 393 00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:41,642 -I followed the evidence. -What evidence? 394 00:26:41,725 --> 00:26:43,769 There was a lot of evidence, Amanda. 395 00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:46,063 The bra clasp, the... the... the staged break-in. 396 00:26:46,146 --> 00:26:47,689 I didn't stage a break-in. 397 00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:49,274 -Please, stay calm and lis... -No. No. 398 00:26:49,358 --> 00:26:52,319 Your attachment to this theory of the break-in being staged 399 00:26:52,402 --> 00:26:55,823 is the mistake from which all of your fantasies about me grew. 400 00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:59,326 -It was a lens, it was bias. -Oh, please. 401 00:26:59,409 --> 00:27:01,370 There's none of my DNA at the crime scene. 402 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:04,998 You said I cleaned up traces of my own invisible DNA 403 00:27:05,082 --> 00:27:06,333 while leaving Guede's intact? 404 00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:08,085 That's impossible, that's bias. 405 00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:11,296 The absence of that evidence is not evidence of your absence. 406 00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:15,592 You said I was in a love triangle with Rudy, based on nothing. 407 00:27:15,676 --> 00:27:17,720 I didn't have his phone number, I didn't even know his name. 408 00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:21,223 In his interviews, Rudy has always said he was attracted to you. 409 00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:23,725 And you said I murdered Meredith because of what? 410 00:27:24,726 --> 00:27:25,978 Jealousy? Hygiene? 411 00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:29,565 Meredith didn't invite you to spend Halloween 412 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,608 with her and her British friends. 413 00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:33,485 You think I murdered my friend... 414 00:27:34,820 --> 00:27:36,947 because she didn't invite me to go trick-or-treating? 415 00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:38,365 I interviewed the British girls. 416 00:27:38,448 --> 00:27:41,618 They all had animosity towards you. 417 00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:47,082 But yes, the... the court found that motive 418 00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:50,169 mm... was not the clearest part of our case. 419 00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:59,178 The only thing that you could ever prove... 420 00:28:00,470 --> 00:28:02,639 was that I lived in the house where Meredith died, 421 00:28:02,723 --> 00:28:05,434 -but I was not there that night. -That, we can't debate. 422 00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:07,060 The final ruling says you were there. 423 00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:09,354 Well, I am telling you that I wasn't. 424 00:28:09,438 --> 00:28:11,023 You cannot argue with the ruling. 425 00:28:11,106 --> 00:28:12,108 It's definitive. 426 00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:13,859 And it says you are innocent, Amanda. 427 00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:16,361 I don't care about the ruling, I care about the truth. 428 00:28:16,445 --> 00:28:18,363 And I am... I am telling you the truth! 429 00:28:18,447 --> 00:28:19,948 What do you want me to do? 430 00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:22,284 Go back on all I said, all I did? 431 00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:25,162 I'm sitting here, I came. What more do you want? 432 00:28:25,245 --> 00:28:28,665 Why didn't you see me when you looked at your daughters? 433 00:28:34,004 --> 00:28:37,341 You often said that when you looked at your daughters, 434 00:28:37,424 --> 00:28:39,635 you saw poor Meredith. 435 00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:46,475 That... That she could have been them. But I... I was just a girl, too. 436 00:28:48,685 --> 00:28:50,854 I was just a young girl, too. 437 00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:53,482 I don't know... 438 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:16,672 I didn't hate you, Amanda. 439 00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:21,927 So, why did you come after me? 440 00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:26,765 Because I didn't know you then as I know you now. 441 00:29:27,975 --> 00:29:30,227 So, you wouldn't prosecute me now? 442 00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:36,275 If I was asked to prosecute this case, I... I would decline to do so 443 00:29:36,358 --> 00:29:38,819 because I know you. 444 00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:41,363 So, you understand that I'm innocent? 445 00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:46,910 Giuliano. 446 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,647 Hey, um... 447 00:33:43,730 --> 00:33:45,190 Sorry, I'm so sorry to interrupt. 448 00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:47,943 Uh, she's gone through her milk. 449 00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,946 Okay, uh, I'll... I'll be there in a minute. 450 00:33:59,454 --> 00:34:00,455 Uh... 451 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:36,908 No. 452 00:34:50,380 --> 00:34:51,381 Mm. 453 00:35:12,694 --> 00:35:15,947 Oh, thank God. Hey. Hi. 454 00:35:16,031 --> 00:35:18,074 Amanda? You okay? 455 00:35:19,576 --> 00:35:22,329 -Is she okay? -Yeah, she's just processing. 456 00:35:22,412 --> 00:35:24,581 Okay, wh... what did he say? 457 00:35:24,664 --> 00:35:26,333 So many things. 458 00:35:26,416 --> 00:35:29,502 He, uh, he held my hand, Mom. 459 00:35:29,586 --> 00:35:31,087 -Oh, my God. -I know. 460 00:35:31,171 --> 00:35:32,672 He... He apologized? 461 00:35:32,756 --> 00:35:34,799 Uh, no, he... He stands by what he did. 462 00:35:34,883 --> 00:35:36,760 Right, so he's evil. 463 00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:40,263 -No, he believes me. -He believes... He believes what? 464 00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:41,931 He said you're... you're innocent? 465 00:35:42,015 --> 00:35:43,516 N-Not in those exact words, 466 00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,143 -but it doesn't matter. -Right, so he's a coward. 467 00:35:45,226 --> 00:35:47,520 No, he said he believes the person he now knows. 468 00:35:47,604 --> 00:35:49,606 The me he now knows can't have done it. 469 00:35:49,689 --> 00:35:52,692 Right, so he'll... he'll s... He'll say that publicly? 470 00:35:52,776 --> 00:35:56,029 H-He's in turmoil, Mom. The man is trying. 471 00:35:56,112 --> 00:35:58,281 -He's trying? -He's trying. Yes. 472 00:36:03,203 --> 00:36:04,245 I just... 473 00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:08,416 All these years, every step, 474 00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:11,544 I've wanted to just fucking crawl inside you 475 00:36:11,628 --> 00:36:15,173 so I could feel how you felt, so I could be in it with you. 476 00:36:15,256 --> 00:36:20,136 But this, this risk, to... to you, to your baby, 477 00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:24,974 to Chris, and yes, to me, and for what? 478 00:36:25,975 --> 00:36:27,060 For what? 479 00:36:27,352 --> 00:36:28,353 For nothing. 480 00:36:30,146 --> 00:36:31,231 Nothing. 481 00:36:34,109 --> 00:36:36,861 -Mom. -I'll be in the car. 482 00:36:52,001 --> 00:36:53,586 What time did he say he would arrive? 483 00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:56,923 Uh, he... He texted five minutes ago, he's parking. 484 00:36:57,006 --> 00:36:58,007 Oh. 485 00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,386 I think that's him. 486 00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:11,271 Raffa. 487 00:37:12,981 --> 00:37:14,149 Ciao. 488 00:37:15,692 --> 00:37:17,777 -Ciao. -Amanda. 489 00:37:21,781 --> 00:37:23,324 Yeah, yeah, I'm good. 490 00:37:23,408 --> 00:37:24,993 -Hi, Edda. -Raffaele. 491 00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:27,704 Look at you. You look great. 492 00:37:27,787 --> 00:37:30,081 No, Edda. This is just my work clothes. 493 00:37:30,165 --> 00:37:31,166 Oh. 494 00:37:32,208 --> 00:37:34,419 -How are you? -I'm well. 495 00:37:35,503 --> 00:37:36,755 Hi, I'm... 496 00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:38,256 -Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. -I'm Chris. 497 00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:39,382 Sorry, this is Chris. 498 00:37:41,634 --> 00:37:44,679 -It's, um, so nice to finally meet you. -Also you. 499 00:37:51,978 --> 00:37:54,397 -She's beautiful. -Thank you. 500 00:37:58,568 --> 00:37:59,569 Yeah. 501 00:38:00,737 --> 00:38:01,821 -Yeah? -Si. 502 00:38:01,905 --> 00:38:03,072 Okay. 503 00:38:04,866 --> 00:38:06,451 Si. 504 00:38:06,534 --> 00:38:08,203 -We'll be back. -Ciao. 505 00:38:15,335 --> 00:38:17,921 What? 506 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:20,423 No, nothing, nothing. 507 00:38:21,841 --> 00:38:24,969 You look great. You look like a real man now. 508 00:38:26,888 --> 00:38:28,973 You look exactly the same. 509 00:38:29,057 --> 00:38:30,725 I look like a man, too? 510 00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:33,186 No. 511 00:38:33,269 --> 00:38:35,730 No, you're a liar, I look old. 512 00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:40,068 I have little wrinkles now. You can see 'em when I smile. 513 00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:42,487 -Chicken feet. -So close. 514 00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:44,489 -Crow's feet. -Oh. 515 00:38:44,572 --> 00:38:48,409 That's good, it means years of much smiling, no? 516 00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:50,912 I don't know about that. 517 00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:01,130 -Now you, what? -No, what? 518 00:39:01,214 --> 00:39:02,674 -What? -No. 519 00:39:19,274 --> 00:39:20,275 Mm. 520 00:39:22,735 --> 00:39:23,903 Wow. 521 00:39:28,533 --> 00:39:30,785 So, did you get what you're needing from him? 522 00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:32,954 From Mignini? 523 00:39:35,498 --> 00:39:37,584 -I don't know. -Mm. 524 00:39:37,667 --> 00:39:39,043 Maybe. 525 00:39:39,127 --> 00:39:40,295 Maybe I'm crazy. 526 00:39:41,921 --> 00:39:43,548 No, not crazy. 527 00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:45,967 The one person who doesn't see you as you want to be seen, 528 00:39:46,050 --> 00:39:48,344 the one person who withholds affection, 529 00:39:48,428 --> 00:39:51,556 you chase this, even if you have love in front of you. 530 00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:54,225 So... 531 00:39:55,894 --> 00:39:57,478 Wow. 532 00:39:57,562 --> 00:39:59,606 No, it's common, people do it all the time, 533 00:39:59,689 --> 00:40:02,108 want to make peace with the one who hurts you most. 534 00:40:13,536 --> 00:40:15,371 How's your life, Raffaele? 535 00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:17,999 What's going on? 536 00:40:19,208 --> 00:40:22,337 -Dating is hard. -Yeah, yeah. 537 00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:26,424 Yeah, I mean, women find out who I am, they're not interested. 538 00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:29,427 Or even worse, they're interested for all the wrong reasons. 539 00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:31,429 Yeah. I know. 540 00:40:31,512 --> 00:40:35,934 And, um, building a career... 541 00:40:37,226 --> 00:40:38,937 I finally got a chance to leave Italy, 542 00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:40,939 start over in tech company. 543 00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:42,774 -Yeah? -So excited, I moved to Paris. 544 00:40:42,857 --> 00:40:45,151 -Yeah? And what? -And my boss googled me. 545 00:40:46,527 --> 00:40:48,863 "So, uh, sorry kid, you're fired." 546 00:40:50,490 --> 00:40:51,783 "Back home you go." 547 00:41:02,835 --> 00:41:05,421 -You know what I think about a lot? -What? 548 00:41:06,881 --> 00:41:09,759 This night that I dragged Meredith to this concert 549 00:41:09,842 --> 00:41:12,345 -that no one else would go to with me. -Oh, that concert. 550 00:41:12,428 --> 00:41:16,933 And it was Astor Piazzolla's Le Gran Tango. 551 00:41:17,016 --> 00:41:19,978 We were the youngest people in the audience by, like, 552 00:41:20,061 --> 00:41:21,980 at least 30 years. 553 00:41:22,063 --> 00:41:25,149 I remember head-banging like I was at a rock concert, 554 00:41:25,233 --> 00:41:27,694 and Meredith was just mortified. 555 00:41:28,695 --> 00:41:31,531 And once the movement ended, I watch her leave, 556 00:41:31,614 --> 00:41:34,784 and I look over, 557 00:41:34,867 --> 00:41:38,746 and I see this nerdy guy with glasses, 558 00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:42,041 just looking at me, like that. 559 00:41:42,125 --> 00:41:44,877 Nerdy? No, muscular. 560 00:41:44,961 --> 00:41:46,379 -Of course, of course. -Uh-huh. 561 00:41:46,462 --> 00:41:48,297 Muscular and handsome and... 562 00:41:48,381 --> 00:41:49,590 -Yeah. -Yeah. 563 00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:51,259 -And this... -And nerdy. 564 00:41:51,342 --> 00:41:54,012 This handsome, nerdy guy with the glasses, 565 00:41:54,095 --> 00:41:57,974 um, goes over to this beautiful blue-eyed girl. 566 00:41:58,057 --> 00:41:59,350 Aw, thank you. 567 00:41:59,434 --> 00:42:03,271 And ask, "Can I... excuse me, can I sit next to you?" 568 00:42:03,354 --> 00:42:06,357 And she smiles and says yes. And his English is bad. 569 00:42:06,441 --> 00:42:07,775 -Bad. -And her Italian is bad too. 570 00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:09,652 -Bad. -Yeah. 571 00:42:09,736 --> 00:42:12,113 But they talk about music. 572 00:42:13,281 --> 00:42:15,700 And Seattle. 573 00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:17,160 And have much connection. 574 00:42:26,002 --> 00:42:27,754 Do you regret meeting me? 575 00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:37,764 Do you regret me, Raffa? 576 00:42:45,521 --> 00:42:48,149 I... I want to be honest with you. 577 00:42:51,069 --> 00:42:52,862 -Okay. -Okay. 578 00:42:52,945 --> 00:42:58,034 And, uh, there were times where I think I did. 579 00:43:00,244 --> 00:43:01,245 Yes. 580 00:43:03,623 --> 00:43:05,124 But not now. 581 00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:07,835 -No? -No. 582 00:43:15,218 --> 00:43:16,928 Because y-you can feel it, right? 583 00:43:17,929 --> 00:43:22,517 The heart, it aches and it hurts. 584 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:25,978 -Yeah. -It breaks and causes you pain. 585 00:43:26,062 --> 00:43:27,063 But it's... 586 00:43:27,146 --> 00:43:30,316 Y-You don't wish you don't have it because it's part of you. 587 00:43:30,399 --> 00:43:32,610 -Oh, Raffa. -And it's the most important part. 588 00:43:36,697 --> 00:43:39,659 So, what I do regret... 589 00:43:41,410 --> 00:43:45,498 is you going home that day to shower. 590 00:43:45,581 --> 00:43:47,166 Fucking hell. 591 00:43:49,585 --> 00:43:52,004 Yeah, me too. 592 00:43:52,088 --> 00:43:53,381 God, if I hadn't... 593 00:43:53,464 --> 00:43:55,133 Yeah, I know, if. 594 00:43:55,216 --> 00:43:56,300 If, if, if. 595 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:04,100 You know why I did that? 596 00:44:07,019 --> 00:44:08,688 Why I went home that morning? 597 00:45:00,448 --> 00:45:02,783 Shall we find you some truffles? 598 00:45:06,162 --> 00:45:08,873 Maybe we just stay here, just a second longer. 599 00:45:11,417 --> 00:45:12,835 -Okay? -Okay. 600 00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:03,678 Hi. 601 00:46:05,471 --> 00:46:06,889 Hey. 602 00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:18,943 When I used to come and see you in prison and, uh, 603 00:46:19,026 --> 00:46:21,696 and I'd stay in Perugia for those long stretches... 604 00:46:23,447 --> 00:46:25,616 there was so much time between visits, you know, 605 00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:28,286 because I only got to see you... 606 00:46:29,537 --> 00:46:31,331 -an hour every Tuesday. -An hour every Tuesday. 607 00:46:31,414 --> 00:46:35,167 And I... I would... I would spend my time fighting for you, 608 00:46:35,251 --> 00:46:37,753 any way I could, but there were times when... 609 00:46:39,505 --> 00:46:42,967 there were times when a friend would ask me for lunch 610 00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:47,263 or say, "Come relax, have a picnic." 611 00:46:47,346 --> 00:46:49,807 I would be sipping delicious wine and... 612 00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:53,602 looking out at a view like this. 613 00:46:57,523 --> 00:47:00,026 And someone might say something that struck me as funny, 614 00:47:00,109 --> 00:47:02,028 and I'd go... I'd go to laugh. 615 00:47:02,111 --> 00:47:04,280 Oh, Mom. Mom. 616 00:47:05,948 --> 00:47:07,825 I'd feel so guilty. 617 00:47:08,868 --> 00:47:10,828 -That's okay. -Because... 618 00:47:12,204 --> 00:47:14,999 Because how dare a mother laugh when her daughter... 619 00:47:15,082 --> 00:47:18,210 You had it worse than I did. No, you did. 620 00:47:20,963 --> 00:47:22,465 I don't... 621 00:47:24,216 --> 00:47:26,052 I don't know how you did it. 622 00:47:29,555 --> 00:47:31,390 Now that I have Eureka... 623 00:47:33,768 --> 00:47:36,354 if... if anything like that ever happened to her, 624 00:47:36,437 --> 00:47:40,107 I don't... I don't think I'd survive it, I don't. 625 00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:49,950 So, you're glad you came? 626 00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:56,082 For 15 years, I've been... 627 00:47:58,042 --> 00:48:00,461 defined by something that I didn't do. 628 00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:07,593 And for the first time since I was 20 years old, 629 00:48:07,676 --> 00:48:11,305 I felt like I was actually doing something 630 00:48:11,389 --> 00:48:12,932 to take my life back. 631 00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:18,771 I wanted him to apologize to me, I did. 632 00:48:20,022 --> 00:48:21,023 I did. 633 00:48:23,692 --> 00:48:25,403 And I thought... 634 00:48:27,863 --> 00:48:31,242 I thought maybe I needed him to see me 635 00:48:31,325 --> 00:48:34,286 so that I could be okay, but the truth is, I am. 636 00:48:37,540 --> 00:48:38,791 I am okay. 637 00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:41,502 I showed up with kindness. 638 00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:46,507 As a person that I'm really proud of. 639 00:48:46,590 --> 00:48:49,510 And that's all I can do. That's all I can ever do. 640 00:48:55,057 --> 00:48:59,603 And I guess I thought y-you'd be proud of me, too. 641 00:49:02,898 --> 00:49:03,899 Hey. 642 00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,407 I am. I'm very proud of you. 643 00:49:26,213 --> 00:49:28,174 Oh, please, can we get the fuck out of here now? 644 00:49:30,426 --> 00:49:31,760 Yeah. 645 00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:35,347 There's just one more thing. 646 00:49:56,827 --> 00:49:59,830 -Babe, you good? -Yeah. Yeah. 647 00:49:59,914 --> 00:50:01,540 Do you... Do you mind if I go alone? 648 00:50:01,624 --> 00:50:03,000 -Just... -No. 649 00:50:03,083 --> 00:50:04,502 Okay. Thank you. 650 00:50:33,822 --> 00:50:37,117 It was fate that Meredith was home that night and I wasn't. 651 00:50:39,119 --> 00:50:40,913 I was the lucky one. 652 00:50:44,667 --> 00:50:48,921 Some people will always define her by me, and me by her. 653 00:50:49,004 --> 00:50:51,924 But the truth is, we were just two girls 654 00:50:52,007 --> 00:50:54,385 at the start of our lives. 655 00:50:58,639 --> 00:51:03,018 We went thrift shopping, and made cookies, and ate pizza. 656 00:51:03,102 --> 00:51:05,145 Just normal stuff. 657 00:51:11,819 --> 00:51:15,531 And I hate that I have to dig through over a decade of trauma 658 00:51:15,614 --> 00:51:17,783 just to reach my memories of her. 659 00:51:19,243 --> 00:51:22,162 Smart, beautiful Meredith. 660 00:51:22,246 --> 00:51:25,583 Giddy and serious Meredith. 661 00:51:25,666 --> 00:51:27,751 Loving and deep Meredith. 662 00:51:30,546 --> 00:51:33,048 I've never really had a chance to mourn her. 663 00:51:34,425 --> 00:51:37,303 But I think in coming back, 664 00:51:37,386 --> 00:51:39,513 I'm finally mourning the both of us. 665 00:51:41,307 --> 00:51:43,517 The lives we could have had. 666 00:51:50,065 --> 00:51:53,444 This twisted tale isn't what I thought mine would be. 667 00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:56,822 And some of you believe I'm innocent. 668 00:51:56,905 --> 00:51:59,533 Some may still think I'm guilty. 669 00:52:01,035 --> 00:52:02,995 And you know, that's okay. 670 00:52:05,623 --> 00:52:08,292 Because it's hard to escape judgment. 671 00:52:08,375 --> 00:52:10,169 It's hard to change one's own mind, 672 00:52:10,252 --> 00:52:12,046 much less someone else's. 673 00:52:13,797 --> 00:52:18,093 Change is not guaranteed, but it's possible. 674 00:52:19,178 --> 00:52:21,847 And I can't help it. I'm me. 675 00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:25,225 I hold on to hope. 47595

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