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1
00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,478
No!
No! No! Please!
2
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:21,772
Hey, where the fuck
are my journals?
3
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,778
Do you know a man
named Rudy Guede?
4
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,239
His prints and DNA are
all over the murder scene.
5
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:31,657
They found the killer?
6
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,618
He's got a history of
drug use, aggression towards women.
7
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,663
Why are they still going
after our daughter?
8
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,003
What? So, why wasn't he in jail?
9
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,631
-If he had been, then...
-Meredith would still be alive.
10
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,512
I might
never get out of here.
11
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:56,390
You need to start accepting
a life without me.
12
00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:59,143
-My girl. She's gone, her fight is gone.
-Okay, but she's gonna be alright.
13
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:02,354
If I'm gonna lose
her anyway, then what's the point?
14
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:14,116
When we get out from
here, we go to Gubbio.
15
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,867
I want lunch and dinner.
16
00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:18,579
Libertà! Libertà!
17
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,956
Amanda, what's
it like being back home?
18
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:24,459
I keep thinking that I'm
going on with my life,
19
00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:27,212
and then there are these
moments where I just can't.
20
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,798
Everyone hates me, even the
people who think I'm innocent.
21
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:32,593
My prison would always
be the false stories
22
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,970
spun about me, the monster.
23
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:39,433
There was only one thing
I could think to do.
24
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,602
I had to go to the author.
25
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:23,662
I always suspected that
this made it impossible for us
26
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,747
to see and understand
each other.
27
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:31,253
When I was 20, when I was
imprisoned and on trial,
28
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,588
you seemed a powerful
and scary man
29
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:36,133
intent on destroying my life.
30
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:40,053
But when I saw interviews with you, I
realized that image of you was wrong.
31
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:44,099
It was flat and two-dimensional,
like the media's image of me.
32
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:50,230
I saw you as a man, not
just as my prosecutor,
33
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:54,443
a father of daughters
with genuine motivations.
34
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,237
I saw a man who was not evil,
35
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,531
and I too am not a monster.
36
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:03,827
It's difficult. In my
daily life, I often feel
37
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,289
that what I experienced
in Italy is in the past.
38
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:10,333
But at any minute, I suddenly
feel in the middle of it again.
39
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,921
Like I'm still in
prison and on trial.
40
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,633
♪ After I've taken the blame ♪
41
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,178
♪ You say you're through ♪
42
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,929
Even in my
happiest moments...
43
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,975
...when I'm regaled
with affection,
44
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,103
surrounded by love and family...
45
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:35,025
...I am haunted by
memories of helplessness,
46
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:39,029
loneliness, and grief, and the
sense that I'm being hunted.
47
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,952
Even in times
of great promise,
48
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,705
I am tortured by
the question, "Why?"
49
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,957
Why did this happen to me?
50
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:55,253
I hope that by talking to you,
I will find out this answer.
51
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,756
Oh, my God, Chris,
he wrote back.
52
00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,883
What does he say?
53
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,050
-Oh, my God, Chris.
-What?
54
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,135
He... He says he won't
discuss the case with me,
55
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:45,720
but then he tells
me to watch this.
56
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:48,807
M-Maigret is suffering because
he put an innocent man in jail.
57
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,476
You have to listen to this.
58
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,438
Mignini told me to watch this.
59
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,733
"When
you find yourself"
60
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:03,154
"circling around a solution
and you can't grasp it,
61
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,699
"you are truly
tempted to invent,
62
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,201
"to construct a guilty party."
63
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,080
"But in the moment you reopen
your eyes to the facts..."
64
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:15,584
"They become erroneous."
65
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,297
Holy fuck.
66
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,766
Amanda
Knox's roommate's killer
67
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,392
was released early
from prison today.
68
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,478
Third defendant
was convicted and imprisoned...
69
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,188
National headlines
and deep controversy...
70
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,315
Guede has told his
lawyers he wants to be forgotten.
71
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,192
...conviction of
30 years in the first degree...
72
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,985
...reduced Guede's
jail time by an additional 45 days.
73
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,821
...maintains his
innocence, saying that Amanda Knox...
74
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,363
-Amanda Knox...
-Amanda Knox...
75
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:46,489
-Amanda Knox.
-Amanda Knox.
76
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,574
Amanda Knox.
77
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,826
-You have an announcement?
-Hmm?
78
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,328
You invited Dad and Mom,
79
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,579
you have news.
80
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,956
-You're pregs again.
-What? Really?
81
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,416
-No. No, I'm...
-Honey.
82
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,376
No, I'm not.
83
00:06:58,460 --> 00:06:59,461
Um...
84
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:03,757
Uh, I'm... I'm thinking
of going back to Italy.
85
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,719
-What?!
-Why?
86
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,054
What are you talking about?
87
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,975
I have been writing
letters with Giuliano.
88
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,310
-Giuliano?
-Pig-nini?
89
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,520
-Since when?
-Uh, a while now.
90
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,813
Amanda, what the fuck?
91
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,649
-Why would...
-Come on, Chris. Seriously?
92
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:21,858
Wh... I mean why?
93
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,361
Because hating him forever doesn't
help me understand anything.
94
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,363
-I mean, what's to understand?
-Him.
95
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:30,200
Why... Why he came after
me. Why he hated me.
96
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,743
Why he ignored evidence.
97
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:34,621
-I mean...
-Because he's evil. An ogre.
98
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,581
-An asshole.
-Ja, this, yes.
99
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,792
W-What has he been
saying to you?
100
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,878
We... We talk about a lot.
We talk about our families.
101
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,796
You talked about us with him?
102
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,172
-He has agreed to meet with me.
-Jesus.
103
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,715
-What?
-Meet with you?
104
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,592
Where... Where are you
gonna meet, Perugia?
105
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,469
-I mean, you can't go back there, Amanda.
-I know.
106
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,346
The people there, they're
still out for blood.
107
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,431
I know, I'll... I'll lay
low. I'll stay hidden.
108
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,933
Oh, but you'll
show yourself to him?
109
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:57,477
The man who threw you in
jail with no evidence.
110
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,354
It's been a
decade since you're free.
111
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,690
Why don't you just move on?
112
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,441
Yeah, that's easy for
you to say, Chris,
113
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:06,820
you don't have the word
"murderer" branded on your face.
114
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,614
You're e-exonerated, honey.
It's all... That's all over.
115
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,450
-Yeah.
-It's not though.
116
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:14,327
Did you know Rudy Guede was
released early from prison today?
117
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,913
What? Why didn't
you say anything?
118
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,290
Yeah, you know what the
first headline we read was?
119
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:22,460
"Amanda Knox's
Roommate's Killer Freed."
120
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:25,255
Not "Meredith Kercher's Killer
Freed," not "Rudy Guede Freed."
121
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:29,175
Meredith's murder is always
discussed in the context of Amanda.
122
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,886
People are fixated on her,
123
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,097
and they've completely
forgotten everybody else.
124
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,850
I mean, she also posts a lot of
shit that makes people angry.
125
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,101
She was proven innocent.
126
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,186
But Edda, people still
think she was involved.
127
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,105
And believe me, I have spent
I don't know how many hours
128
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,523
arguing with them online.
129
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,817
Oh, really, you spent
hours arguing online?
130
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,153
Who cares what a bunch of
idiots on the internet think?
131
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:51,197
You wouldn't care if millions of
people thought you were a killer?
132
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,908
You'd do anything to
change the narrative.
133
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,743
-Oh, since where are you the expert?
-Chris.
134
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:56,746
-That's right, you weren't there.
-Please.
135
00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:58,705
Yeah, well, I'm here now, man.
136
00:08:58,788 --> 00:08:59,873
Oh.
137
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,333
She needs this.
138
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,085
Okay, with
all due respect,
139
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,837
how can she possibly need this?
140
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,631
This guy is dangerous
and he is vindictive.
141
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,509
-Please.
-Amanda, you... You're... You're doing well.
142
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:14,637
-Your... Your life is full.
-You... But you... You're a mother now,
143
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,389
you have a beautiful baby girl.
144
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:19,809
Why can't you just... Can
you not just focus on that?
145
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,519
That's exactly what I'm doing.
146
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,691
You know the first thing I said
to Eureka when she was born?
147
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,361
I said, "I'm sorry.
148
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,405
I am... I'm sorry I'm your mom."
149
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,700
Oh, honey.
150
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:38,578
This... This shadow I've been
living under since I'm 20,
151
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,831
I'm supposed to, what, accept that
our daughter has to live under it too?
152
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,793
And I... And I'm not gonna have to wait
until she can read about it herself.
153
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,837
The... The tomes of malignant
shit about me online.
154
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,590
It's gonna happen
on the playground.
155
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,301
As soon as one gossipy parent
tells their kid who I am,
156
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,929
she's gonna... she's gonna
have so many questions
157
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,348
that I do not have
the answer to.
158
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:06,397
This meeting with Mignini
might give me one, okay?
159
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:10,735
And if there's any chance
that he'll finally see me
160
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,487
and wipe the slate clean...
161
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,448
it's fucking worth it.
162
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,495
Talk to you, please?
163
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,131
Are you fucking
kidding me right now?
164
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:33,466
Okay. I didn't expect
you to understand...
165
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,760
How could you do this to us?
166
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,263
After everything we've
been through. To Mom?
167
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,141
Do you have any idea
how hard it was?
168
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,309
Fighting to get you
back nearly killed her.
169
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,437
And I don't know if you're
even capable of noticing,
170
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,315
but Mom and Chris didn't
sleep in the same bed
171
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,691
for over a year
after you got back.
172
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,151
Wait a minute, what?
I didn't know that.
173
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,194
What did you think that was?
174
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,072
Fifteen months of jet lag
keeping him on the sofa?
175
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,658
Chris was basically a
bachelor in Italy, for what,
176
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,827
three years, so that he
could be there and visit you.
177
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,996
They didn't know how to
live together anymore.
178
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,747
That is not my fault, Deanna.
179
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,416
No, nothing's your fault.
180
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,877
Not on "The Amanda Show."
181
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:16,634
Wow. That is not
fair. That's not fair.
182
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:21,472
What's not fair is that I
had to drop out of school,
183
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:24,559
that Ashley was getting into
literal fights with classmates,
184
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,311
Delaney was having
panic attacks.
185
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,397
The blast radius of you going
to Italy was pretty huge.
186
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:33,985
Look, I... Again, I am... I am so sorry
for everything you went through, I am.
187
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,945
But I am the one
who went to prison.
188
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,406
And I am still in prison.
189
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,033
Please.
190
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,287
You're gonna do whatever the
fuck you want, aren't you?
191
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,181
Just one second.
192
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,727
Please, can I...
193
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,188
Can I please just explain myself?
194
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,941
Can you just look at
me for one second?
195
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,864
Hey, you're still here.
196
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,158
Yeah, I was helping
your mom clean up.
197
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,661
-Really?
-Yeah.
198
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,871
Chris was playing video games.
199
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,166
-Do you need a minute?
-No, no.
200
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,376
She's asleep.
201
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,796
Are you sleeping at all?
202
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,341
-Yeah. I remember those early years.
-Yeah.
203
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,550
They're tough.
204
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,931
You have nothing
to apologize for.
205
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:50,103
It just about broke my heart
hearing you said that to Eureka.
206
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:56,067
You're a fantastic mom.
She's lucky to have you.
207
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,778
You're the strongest
person I've ever known.
208
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,030
-Dad.
-And God knows you've proven
209
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,740
that you can hold your own.
210
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,370
But now that you're dead set
on going back to Italy...
211
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:12,542
I have to say that your judgment
about handing yourself back to him...
212
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:17,463
I'm sorry, I just... I
do not trust Mignini.
213
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:20,591
I'm not asking you to trust
Mignini, I'm asking you to trust me.
214
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,890
It's just the last time
that I gave you my blessing,
215
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,475
it did not turn out so well.
216
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,399
I can't not go.
217
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,694
Well, then
I'm going with you.
218
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:45,158
Fuck if I'm gonna let you set foot
in that country again without me.
219
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:52,957
Amanda, I don't like
this. I don't like this at all.
220
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,460
Well, this
is the plan. So, can you...
221
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,962
I swear to God, if you
tell me to relax...
222
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,504
I'm not telling you to relax.
223
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:03,885
I harbor a wish that you'd relax,
but I'm not telling you to relax.
224
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,388
Okay, here we go.
225
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,140
Just like we talked about.
226
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,017
Don't move, don't make a sound.
227
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,227
They see you, they make a call.
228
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:15,814
They make a call, and they're all
hunting you inside of ten minutes.
229
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,398
He's hunting her already.
230
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,359
He never stopped, never
will, and here we are,
231
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:21,736
just going into the
mouth of the wolf.
232
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,946
-Mom, Mom, will you please?
-It's a trap.
233
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,532
-It's not a trap.
-It is a trap that that monster
234
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:28,451
has set for you, and you
are walking right into it.
235
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,661
We should just
turn back, Amanda.
236
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:32,663
There's no way we're going back.
237
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,140
-What's happening?
-Kuh-nox!
238
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,934
What's happening? No, no, no, no!
239
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,602
-What the fuck is going on?
-No, Chris!
240
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:56,437
-No! Do not...
-Chris, please! No!
241
00:14:58,439 --> 00:14:59,899
-Amanda!
-Mom!
242
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,115
-Hey, hey, hey.
-What's happening?
243
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,325
-You're okay.
-Where am I? Where are we?
244
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,160
We're in the safe
house. We're in Italy.
245
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,462
I'm sorry.
246
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,714
-No, don't be sorry.
-I'm sorry.
247
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:29,929
You're ready for this, okay?
248
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,639
You're gonna do great tomorrow.
249
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,351
I don't know what
I'm doing here.
250
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,689
I mean, am I... Am
I fooling myself?
251
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,732
Am I gonna leave more
fucked up than I came?
252
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,484
-No, you're not fucked up.
-What am I...
253
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,528
Am I not? I want
Giuliano Mignini
254
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,946
to tell me he's sorry.
255
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,992
I want him to admit that
he hurt me, that's...
256
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,543
If you go in there needing
something from him...
257
00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:04,464
you'll fail.
258
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,508
I know, and I can't fail.
259
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,559
-Amanda.
-Don Saulo, ciao!
260
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,195
Si.
261
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,999
I... I'm just gonna stay
here, on... on this bench.
262
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:42,543
I don't wanna see that
man's face ever again.
263
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,995
I'll be right here.
264
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:19,372
-Okay?
-Okay.
265
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,998
-Alright.
-I love you.
266
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,750
I love you too.
267
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,461
Love you, sweetie.
268
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,545
Okay.
269
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:27,755
Okay.
270
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,428
I'm, uh, I'm gonna
let him talk first.
271
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:38,140
I'm gonna... I'm gonna let him
say anything he has to say,
272
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,601
and then... and then
I'm gonna speak.
273
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,186
-Right.
-Okay.
274
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,481
Oh, God, I'm nervous.
275
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:37,658
Ah.
276
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,647
Um...
277
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,231
Uh...
278
00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:42,908
...and saints.
279
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,664
I'm guilty of this too.
280
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,959
When I was on trial...
281
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:56,922
you were a frightening man
282
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,799
who had only one goal...
283
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,802
to destroy my life.
284
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:07,558
But I know this image
of you is wrong.
285
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:12,980
It is as flat and as
two-dimensional as "Foxy Knoxy."
286
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,899
You've said this to me.
287
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:15,983
What?
288
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,278
You said this to me
in your first letter.
289
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,406
But you need to say it again?
290
00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:29,079
I didn't come here
to prove you wrong.
291
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:36,837
I believe that you acted with
genuine noble motivations,
292
00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:39,590
even though you caused
tremendous harm.
293
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:46,722
And I believe that you were trying to
bring justice to a grieving family.
294
00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:52,102
And I want you to know
that I do not hate you.
295
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,733
It took courage for
you to come here.
296
00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:02,363
-We have this in common.
-Oh?
297
00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:05,658
Do you think it is wise for me
to interact with you at all?
298
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:09,119
Given the vicious attacks
leveled against me
299
00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:10,788
by the Knox PR machine?
300
00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:15,334
In my 41 years of service,
never did I experience
301
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:17,878
such ruthless
slander against me.
302
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:21,423
I know you felt unjustly
villainized by the U.S. press.
303
00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:24,760
I was the corrupt
medieval inquisitor.
304
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,345
I was blamed for everything.
305
00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:29,014
Never have I been so outraged.
306
00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:32,810
People trying to profit from
the destruction of my name.
307
00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:35,646
I can only imagine how
painful that can be.
308
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,982
Then
you reach out to me,
309
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:41,777
say "My Prosecutor"
with such affection...
310
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:43,153
Uh...
311
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,739
I will admit it, it moved me.
312
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:47,658
That was kind of a mistake.
313
00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:49,201
Excuse me?
314
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:52,746
It... It was a
linguistic foible.
315
00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:55,040
Um, in... in English,
316
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:59,295
we say "my prosecutor"
without connoting affection.
317
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:02,590
Um, it really just means,
"the prosecutor of my case."
318
00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:05,551
And as you know, there are
things we say in English
319
00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,804
that don't have an exact
counterpart in Italian.
320
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:13,183
Like, "see you later."
321
00:23:18,188 --> 00:23:19,773
Courageous indeed.
322
00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:29,283
Just a moment.
323
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,789
What's happening?
324
00:23:35,873 --> 00:23:38,626
-I don't know.
-Who's he calling?
325
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:40,628
I don't know.
326
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:45,090
I'm scared, I'm scared.
327
00:23:45,174 --> 00:23:47,384
-I feel okay.
-You do?
328
00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:49,178
But you can leave
anytime, if you need.
329
00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,764
-Okay.
-Stay calm, Amanda.
330
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:53,307
-Huh?
-I'm trying, I'm trying.
331
00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:55,601
I apologize.
332
00:23:56,727 --> 00:23:57,728
Uh...
333
00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:01,315
I'm
responsible for telling my wife
334
00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:02,858
when it's time to
take her pills.
335
00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:05,319
Just please tell me, are
the police on their way?
336
00:24:05,402 --> 00:24:06,403
What?
337
00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:10,324
What do you think this is?
338
00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:12,910
Dear, you asked me to meet.
339
00:24:12,993 --> 00:24:14,870
Did you think I would
use this meeting
340
00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:16,997
-to what, to entrap you?
-No, no, I didn't.
341
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:19,750
But my... my people, my
family, they all think that...
342
00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:22,503
You see? This is what
I'm talking about.
343
00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:25,714
We don't just go around arresting
people without cause here.
344
00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:28,342
-Why don't we sit?
-This case has shown me
345
00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:29,885
the dark side of America,
346
00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:32,930
its ignorance, its entitlement.
347
00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:34,640
You must understand, Amanda,
348
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:37,101
my prosecuting you
wasn't personal.
349
00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:39,687
When you asked for a
life sentence for me,
350
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,730
that felt pretty personal.
351
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,691
The sentences I ask for
352
00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:46,443
do not reflect the heart
of the person I'm trying.
353
00:24:46,527 --> 00:24:48,946
They reflect the
severity of the crime.
354
00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:51,198
And the crime against
Meredith was severe.
355
00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:53,200
-But I did not kill her.
-Look, Amanda,
356
00:24:53,283 --> 00:24:55,703
I did my duty in
full conscience,
357
00:24:55,786 --> 00:24:57,746
given the facts I
had at the time.
358
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,331
Now, look at you,
359
00:24:59,415 --> 00:25:00,833
you are free now.
360
00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:04,128
-It's water under the bridge.
-Why are you here, Dottor Mignini?
361
00:25:05,045 --> 00:25:07,923
-What do you mean?
-Why... Why did you come here today?
362
00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:11,301
Because this meeting is extraordinary,
it's something that doesn't happen.
363
00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:15,055
So, I'm a curiosity? You... You
wanted to see how I turned out?
364
00:25:15,139 --> 00:25:17,266
I came to care for you
through our letters.
365
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,226
Why did you send me Maigret?
366
00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:24,773
To help you understand
me and my role.
367
00:25:25,691 --> 00:25:27,401
Not to admit you were wrong?
368
00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:28,485
Oh.
369
00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:32,656
Amanda, by the
time I got to you,
370
00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:36,660
the police had already made
some investigative decisions.
371
00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:38,328
You mean investigative mistakes.
372
00:25:38,412 --> 00:25:42,166
They weren't used to
cases of this magnitude.
373
00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:45,794
-The media attention, the... the pressure.
-Neither was I.
374
00:25:47,171 --> 00:25:49,256
It was hard on you. I know that.
375
00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:53,343
People think I'm a monster.
376
00:25:53,427 --> 00:25:55,387
-I never called you a monster.
-Foxy Knoxy,
377
00:25:55,471 --> 00:25:57,848
femme fatale,
adulteress, Luciferina.
378
00:25:57,931 --> 00:25:59,808
Oh, I never called
you Luciferina.
379
00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:01,769
-Pacelli did.
-You didn't have to.
380
00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:03,812
You placed me at the
scene of the crime.
381
00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:06,231
You talked about how I
tortured and taunted Meredith.
382
00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:09,401
Amanda, that was my
approximation of the crime.
383
00:26:09,485 --> 00:26:14,406
An investigator must painstakingly
reconstruct a past event
384
00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:15,783
which he didn't observe.
385
00:26:15,866 --> 00:26:17,409
Yeah, through
evidence, I would hope.
386
00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:20,537
This is where you think you
know, but you don't know, okay?
387
00:26:20,621 --> 00:26:24,500
Initially, an investigator
is guided by his reasoning,
388
00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:28,253
but also by hypothesis that the
crime scene suggests to him.
389
00:26:28,337 --> 00:26:30,923
And he must follow
his hypothesis
390
00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:34,343
and be ready to review
it when he realizes
391
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:37,137
that his assumption is
arbitrary and not proven.
392
00:26:37,221 --> 00:26:39,765
But your assumption was
arbitrary and not proven.
393
00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:41,642
-I followed the evidence.
-What evidence?
394
00:26:41,725 --> 00:26:43,769
There was a
lot of evidence, Amanda.
395
00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:46,063
The bra clasp, the...
the... the staged break-in.
396
00:26:46,146 --> 00:26:47,689
I didn't stage a break-in.
397
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:49,274
-Please, stay calm and lis...
-No. No.
398
00:26:49,358 --> 00:26:52,319
Your attachment to this theory
of the break-in being staged
399
00:26:52,402 --> 00:26:55,823
is the mistake from which all
of your fantasies about me grew.
400
00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:59,326
-It was a lens, it was bias.
-Oh, please.
401
00:26:59,409 --> 00:27:01,370
There's none of my DNA
at the crime scene.
402
00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:04,998
You said I cleaned up traces
of my own invisible DNA
403
00:27:05,082 --> 00:27:06,333
while leaving Guede's intact?
404
00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:08,085
That's impossible, that's bias.
405
00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:11,296
The absence of that evidence is
not evidence of your absence.
406
00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:15,592
You said I was in a love triangle
with Rudy, based on nothing.
407
00:27:15,676 --> 00:27:17,720
I didn't have his phone number,
I didn't even know his name.
408
00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:21,223
In his interviews, Rudy has always
said he was attracted to you.
409
00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:23,725
And you said I murdered
Meredith because of what?
410
00:27:24,726 --> 00:27:25,978
Jealousy? Hygiene?
411
00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:29,565
Meredith didn't invite
you to spend Halloween
412
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,608
with her and her
British friends.
413
00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:33,485
You think I murdered
my friend...
414
00:27:34,820 --> 00:27:36,947
because she didn't invite
me to go trick-or-treating?
415
00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:38,365
I interviewed the British girls.
416
00:27:38,448 --> 00:27:41,618
They all had
animosity towards you.
417
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:47,082
But yes, the... the
court found that motive
418
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:50,169
mm... was not the
clearest part of our case.
419
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:59,178
The only thing that
you could ever prove...
420
00:28:00,470 --> 00:28:02,639
was that I lived in the
house where Meredith died,
421
00:28:02,723 --> 00:28:05,434
-but I was not there that night.
-That, we can't debate.
422
00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:07,060
The final ruling
says you were there.
423
00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:09,354
Well, I am telling
you that I wasn't.
424
00:28:09,438 --> 00:28:11,023
You cannot argue
with the ruling.
425
00:28:11,106 --> 00:28:12,108
It's definitive.
426
00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:13,859
And it says you are
innocent, Amanda.
427
00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:16,361
I don't care about the ruling,
I care about the truth.
428
00:28:16,445 --> 00:28:18,363
And I am... I am
telling you the truth!
429
00:28:18,447 --> 00:28:19,948
What do you want me to do?
430
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:22,284
Go back on all I
said, all I did?
431
00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:25,162
I'm sitting here, I came.
What more do you want?
432
00:28:25,245 --> 00:28:28,665
Why didn't you see me when
you looked at your daughters?
433
00:28:34,004 --> 00:28:37,341
You often said that when you
looked at your daughters,
434
00:28:37,424 --> 00:28:39,635
you saw poor Meredith.
435
00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:46,475
That... That she could have been
them. But I... I was just a girl, too.
436
00:28:48,685 --> 00:28:50,854
I was just a young girl, too.
437
00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:53,482
I don't know...
438
00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:16,672
I didn't hate you, Amanda.
439
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:21,927
So, why did you come after me?
440
00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:26,765
Because I didn't know you
then as I know you now.
441
00:29:27,975 --> 00:29:30,227
So, you wouldn't
prosecute me now?
442
00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:36,275
If I was asked to prosecute this
case, I... I would decline to do so
443
00:29:36,358 --> 00:29:38,819
because I know you.
444
00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:41,363
So, you understand
that I'm innocent?
445
00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:46,910
Giuliano.
446
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,647
Hey, um...
447
00:33:43,730 --> 00:33:45,190
Sorry, I'm so
sorry to interrupt.
448
00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:47,943
Uh, she's gone through her milk.
449
00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,946
Okay, uh, I'll... I'll
be there in a minute.
450
00:33:59,454 --> 00:34:00,455
Uh...
451
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:36,908
No.
452
00:34:50,380 --> 00:34:51,381
Mm.
453
00:35:12,694 --> 00:35:15,947
Oh, thank God. Hey. Hi.
454
00:35:16,031 --> 00:35:18,074
Amanda? You okay?
455
00:35:19,576 --> 00:35:22,329
-Is she okay?
-Yeah, she's just processing.
456
00:35:22,412 --> 00:35:24,581
Okay, wh... what did he say?
457
00:35:24,664 --> 00:35:26,333
So many things.
458
00:35:26,416 --> 00:35:29,502
He, uh, he held my hand, Mom.
459
00:35:29,586 --> 00:35:31,087
-Oh, my God.
-I know.
460
00:35:31,171 --> 00:35:32,672
He... He apologized?
461
00:35:32,756 --> 00:35:34,799
Uh, no, he... He
stands by what he did.
462
00:35:34,883 --> 00:35:36,760
Right, so he's evil.
463
00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:40,263
-No, he believes me.
-He believes... He believes what?
464
00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:41,931
He said you're...
you're innocent?
465
00:35:42,015 --> 00:35:43,516
N-Not in those exact words,
466
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,143
-but it doesn't matter.
-Right, so he's a coward.
467
00:35:45,226 --> 00:35:47,520
No, he said he believes
the person he now knows.
468
00:35:47,604 --> 00:35:49,606
The me he now knows
can't have done it.
469
00:35:49,689 --> 00:35:52,692
Right, so he'll... he'll
s... He'll say that publicly?
470
00:35:52,776 --> 00:35:56,029
H-He's in turmoil,
Mom. The man is trying.
471
00:35:56,112 --> 00:35:58,281
-He's trying?
-He's trying. Yes.
472
00:36:03,203 --> 00:36:04,245
I just...
473
00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:08,416
All these years, every step,
474
00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:11,544
I've wanted to just
fucking crawl inside you
475
00:36:11,628 --> 00:36:15,173
so I could feel how you felt,
so I could be in it with you.
476
00:36:15,256 --> 00:36:20,136
But this, this risk, to...
to you, to your baby,
477
00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:24,974
to Chris, and yes,
to me, and for what?
478
00:36:25,975 --> 00:36:27,060
For what?
479
00:36:27,352 --> 00:36:28,353
For nothing.
480
00:36:30,146 --> 00:36:31,231
Nothing.
481
00:36:34,109 --> 00:36:36,861
-Mom.
-I'll be in the car.
482
00:36:52,001 --> 00:36:53,586
What time did he
say he would arrive?
483
00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:56,923
Uh, he... He texted five
minutes ago, he's parking.
484
00:36:57,006 --> 00:36:58,007
Oh.
485
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,386
I think that's him.
486
00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:11,271
Raffa.
487
00:37:12,981 --> 00:37:14,149
Ciao.
488
00:37:15,692 --> 00:37:17,777
-Ciao.
-Amanda.
489
00:37:21,781 --> 00:37:23,324
Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
490
00:37:23,408 --> 00:37:24,993
-Hi, Edda.
-Raffaele.
491
00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:27,704
Look at you. You look great.
492
00:37:27,787 --> 00:37:30,081
No, Edda. This
is just my work clothes.
493
00:37:30,165 --> 00:37:31,166
Oh.
494
00:37:32,208 --> 00:37:34,419
-How are you?
-I'm well.
495
00:37:35,503 --> 00:37:36,755
Hi, I'm...
496
00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:38,256
-Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
-I'm Chris.
497
00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:39,382
Sorry, this is Chris.
498
00:37:41,634 --> 00:37:44,679
-It's, um, so nice to finally meet you.
-Also you.
499
00:37:51,978 --> 00:37:54,397
-She's beautiful.
-Thank you.
500
00:37:58,568 --> 00:37:59,569
Yeah.
501
00:38:00,737 --> 00:38:01,821
-Yeah?
-Si.
502
00:38:01,905 --> 00:38:03,072
Okay.
503
00:38:04,866 --> 00:38:06,451
Si.
504
00:38:06,534 --> 00:38:08,203
-We'll be back.
-Ciao.
505
00:38:15,335 --> 00:38:17,921
What?
506
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:20,423
No, nothing, nothing.
507
00:38:21,841 --> 00:38:24,969
You look great. You look
like a real man now.
508
00:38:26,888 --> 00:38:28,973
You look exactly the same.
509
00:38:29,057 --> 00:38:30,725
I look like a man, too?
510
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:33,186
No.
511
00:38:33,269 --> 00:38:35,730
No, you're a liar, I look old.
512
00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:40,068
I have little wrinkles now.
You can see 'em when I smile.
513
00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:42,487
-Chicken feet.
-So close.
514
00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:44,489
-Crow's feet.
-Oh.
515
00:38:44,572 --> 00:38:48,409
That's good, it means
years of much smiling, no?
516
00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:50,912
I don't know about that.
517
00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:01,130
-Now you, what?
-No, what?
518
00:39:01,214 --> 00:39:02,674
-What?
-No.
519
00:39:19,274 --> 00:39:20,275
Mm.
520
00:39:22,735 --> 00:39:23,903
Wow.
521
00:39:28,533 --> 00:39:30,785
So, did you get what
you're needing from him?
522
00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:32,954
From Mignini?
523
00:39:35,498 --> 00:39:37,584
-I don't know.
-Mm.
524
00:39:37,667 --> 00:39:39,043
Maybe.
525
00:39:39,127 --> 00:39:40,295
Maybe I'm crazy.
526
00:39:41,921 --> 00:39:43,548
No, not crazy.
527
00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:45,967
The one person who doesn't see
you as you want to be seen,
528
00:39:46,050 --> 00:39:48,344
the one person who
withholds affection,
529
00:39:48,428 --> 00:39:51,556
you chase this, even if you
have love in front of you.
530
00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:54,225
So...
531
00:39:55,894 --> 00:39:57,478
Wow.
532
00:39:57,562 --> 00:39:59,606
No, it's common, people
do it all the time,
533
00:39:59,689 --> 00:40:02,108
want to make peace with
the one who hurts you most.
534
00:40:13,536 --> 00:40:15,371
How's your life, Raffaele?
535
00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:17,999
What's going on?
536
00:40:19,208 --> 00:40:22,337
-Dating is hard.
-Yeah, yeah.
537
00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:26,424
Yeah, I mean, women find out who
I am, they're not interested.
538
00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:29,427
Or even worse, they're interested
for all the wrong reasons.
539
00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:31,429
Yeah. I know.
540
00:40:31,512 --> 00:40:35,934
And, um, building a career...
541
00:40:37,226 --> 00:40:38,937
I finally got a
chance to leave Italy,
542
00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:40,939
start over in tech company.
543
00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:42,774
-Yeah?
-So excited, I moved to Paris.
544
00:40:42,857 --> 00:40:45,151
-Yeah? And what?
-And my boss googled me.
545
00:40:46,527 --> 00:40:48,863
"So, uh, sorry
kid, you're fired."
546
00:40:50,490 --> 00:40:51,783
"Back home you go."
547
00:41:02,835 --> 00:41:05,421
-You know what I think about a lot?
-What?
548
00:41:06,881 --> 00:41:09,759
This night that I dragged
Meredith to this concert
549
00:41:09,842 --> 00:41:12,345
-that no one else would go to with me.
-Oh, that concert.
550
00:41:12,428 --> 00:41:16,933
And it was Astor
Piazzolla's Le Gran Tango.
551
00:41:17,016 --> 00:41:19,978
We were the youngest people
in the audience by, like,
552
00:41:20,061 --> 00:41:21,980
at least 30 years.
553
00:41:22,063 --> 00:41:25,149
I remember head-banging like
I was at a rock concert,
554
00:41:25,233 --> 00:41:27,694
and Meredith was just
mortified.
555
00:41:28,695 --> 00:41:31,531
And once the movement
ended, I watch her leave,
556
00:41:31,614 --> 00:41:34,784
and I look over,
557
00:41:34,867 --> 00:41:38,746
and I see this nerdy
guy with glasses,
558
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:42,041
just looking at me, like that.
559
00:41:42,125 --> 00:41:44,877
Nerdy? No, muscular.
560
00:41:44,961 --> 00:41:46,379
-Of course, of course.
-Uh-huh.
561
00:41:46,462 --> 00:41:48,297
Muscular and handsome and...
562
00:41:48,381 --> 00:41:49,590
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
563
00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:51,259
-And this...
-And nerdy.
564
00:41:51,342 --> 00:41:54,012
This handsome, nerdy
guy with the glasses,
565
00:41:54,095 --> 00:41:57,974
um, goes over to this
beautiful blue-eyed girl.
566
00:41:58,057 --> 00:41:59,350
Aw, thank you.
567
00:41:59,434 --> 00:42:03,271
And ask, "Can I... excuse
me, can I sit next to you?"
568
00:42:03,354 --> 00:42:06,357
And she smiles and says
yes. And his English is bad.
569
00:42:06,441 --> 00:42:07,775
-Bad.
-And her Italian is bad too.
570
00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:09,652
-Bad.
-Yeah.
571
00:42:09,736 --> 00:42:12,113
But they talk about music.
572
00:42:13,281 --> 00:42:15,700
And Seattle.
573
00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:17,160
And have much connection.
574
00:42:26,002 --> 00:42:27,754
Do you regret meeting me?
575
00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:37,764
Do you regret me, Raffa?
576
00:42:45,521 --> 00:42:48,149
I... I want to be
honest with you.
577
00:42:51,069 --> 00:42:52,862
-Okay.
-Okay.
578
00:42:52,945 --> 00:42:58,034
And, uh, there were times
where I think I did.
579
00:43:00,244 --> 00:43:01,245
Yes.
580
00:43:03,623 --> 00:43:05,124
But not now.
581
00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:07,835
-No?
-No.
582
00:43:15,218 --> 00:43:16,928
Because y-you can
feel it, right?
583
00:43:17,929 --> 00:43:22,517
The heart, it
aches and it hurts.
584
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:25,978
-Yeah.
-It breaks and causes you pain.
585
00:43:26,062 --> 00:43:27,063
But it's...
586
00:43:27,146 --> 00:43:30,316
Y-You don't wish you don't have
it because it's part of you.
587
00:43:30,399 --> 00:43:32,610
-Oh, Raffa.
-And it's the most important part.
588
00:43:36,697 --> 00:43:39,659
So, what I do regret...
589
00:43:41,410 --> 00:43:45,498
is you going home
that day to shower.
590
00:43:45,581 --> 00:43:47,166
Fucking hell.
591
00:43:49,585 --> 00:43:52,004
Yeah, me too.
592
00:43:52,088 --> 00:43:53,381
God, if I hadn't...
593
00:43:53,464 --> 00:43:55,133
Yeah, I know, if.
594
00:43:55,216 --> 00:43:56,300
If, if, if.
595
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:04,100
You know why I did that?
596
00:44:07,019 --> 00:44:08,688
Why I went home that morning?
597
00:45:00,448 --> 00:45:02,783
Shall we find you some truffles?
598
00:45:06,162 --> 00:45:08,873
Maybe we just stay here,
just a second longer.
599
00:45:11,417 --> 00:45:12,835
-Okay?
-Okay.
600
00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:03,678
Hi.
601
00:46:05,471 --> 00:46:06,889
Hey.
602
00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:18,943
When I used to come and
see you in prison and, uh,
603
00:46:19,026 --> 00:46:21,696
and I'd stay in Perugia
for those long stretches...
604
00:46:23,447 --> 00:46:25,616
there was so much time
between visits, you know,
605
00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:28,286
because I only got to see you...
606
00:46:29,537 --> 00:46:31,331
-an hour every Tuesday.
-An hour every Tuesday.
607
00:46:31,414 --> 00:46:35,167
And I... I would... I would
spend my time fighting for you,
608
00:46:35,251 --> 00:46:37,753
any way I could, but
there were times when...
609
00:46:39,505 --> 00:46:42,967
there were times when a
friend would ask me for lunch
610
00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:47,263
or say, "Come relax,
have a picnic."
611
00:46:47,346 --> 00:46:49,807
I would be sipping
delicious wine and...
612
00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:53,602
looking out at a view like this.
613
00:46:57,523 --> 00:47:00,026
And someone might say something
that struck me as funny,
614
00:47:00,109 --> 00:47:02,028
and I'd go...
I'd go to laugh.
615
00:47:02,111 --> 00:47:04,280
Oh, Mom. Mom.
616
00:47:05,948 --> 00:47:07,825
I'd feel so guilty.
617
00:47:08,868 --> 00:47:10,828
-That's okay.
-Because...
618
00:47:12,204 --> 00:47:14,999
Because how dare a mother
laugh when her daughter...
619
00:47:15,082 --> 00:47:18,210
You had it worse than
I did. No, you did.
620
00:47:20,963 --> 00:47:22,465
I don't...
621
00:47:24,216 --> 00:47:26,052
I don't know how you did it.
622
00:47:29,555 --> 00:47:31,390
Now that
I have Eureka...
623
00:47:33,768 --> 00:47:36,354
if... if anything like
that ever happened to her,
624
00:47:36,437 --> 00:47:40,107
I don't... I don't think
I'd survive it, I don't.
625
00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:49,950
So, you're glad you came?
626
00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:56,082
For 15 years, I've been...
627
00:47:58,042 --> 00:48:00,461
defined by something
that I didn't do.
628
00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:07,593
And for the first time
since I was 20 years old,
629
00:48:07,676 --> 00:48:11,305
I felt like I was
actually doing something
630
00:48:11,389 --> 00:48:12,932
to take my life back.
631
00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:18,771
I wanted him to
apologize to me, I did.
632
00:48:20,022 --> 00:48:21,023
I did.
633
00:48:23,692 --> 00:48:25,403
And I thought...
634
00:48:27,863 --> 00:48:31,242
I thought maybe I
needed him to see me
635
00:48:31,325 --> 00:48:34,286
so that I could be okay,
but the truth is, I am.
636
00:48:37,540 --> 00:48:38,791
I am okay.
637
00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:41,502
I showed up with kindness.
638
00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:46,507
As a person that
I'm really proud of.
639
00:48:46,590 --> 00:48:49,510
And that's all I can do.
That's all I can ever do.
640
00:48:55,057 --> 00:48:59,603
And I guess I thought
y-you'd be proud of me, too.
641
00:49:02,898 --> 00:49:03,899
Hey.
642
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,407
I am. I'm very proud of you.
643
00:49:26,213 --> 00:49:28,174
Oh, please, can we get
the fuck out of here now?
644
00:49:30,426 --> 00:49:31,760
Yeah.
645
00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:35,347
There's just one more thing.
646
00:49:56,827 --> 00:49:59,830
-Babe, you good?
-Yeah. Yeah.
647
00:49:59,914 --> 00:50:01,540
Do you... Do you
mind if I go alone?
648
00:50:01,624 --> 00:50:03,000
-Just...
-No.
649
00:50:03,083 --> 00:50:04,502
Okay. Thank you.
650
00:50:33,822 --> 00:50:37,117
It was fate that Meredith
was home that night and I wasn't.
651
00:50:39,119 --> 00:50:40,913
I was the lucky one.
652
00:50:44,667 --> 00:50:48,921
Some people will always define
her by me, and me by her.
653
00:50:49,004 --> 00:50:51,924
But the truth is, we
were just two girls
654
00:50:52,007 --> 00:50:54,385
at the start of our lives.
655
00:50:58,639 --> 00:51:03,018
We went thrift shopping, and
made cookies, and ate pizza.
656
00:51:03,102 --> 00:51:05,145
Just normal stuff.
657
00:51:11,819 --> 00:51:15,531
And I hate that I have to dig
through over a decade of trauma
658
00:51:15,614 --> 00:51:17,783
just to reach my
memories of her.
659
00:51:19,243 --> 00:51:22,162
Smart, beautiful Meredith.
660
00:51:22,246 --> 00:51:25,583
Giddy and serious Meredith.
661
00:51:25,666 --> 00:51:27,751
Loving and deep Meredith.
662
00:51:30,546 --> 00:51:33,048
I've never really had
a chance to mourn her.
663
00:51:34,425 --> 00:51:37,303
But I think in coming back,
664
00:51:37,386 --> 00:51:39,513
I'm finally mourning
the both of us.
665
00:51:41,307 --> 00:51:43,517
The lives we could have had.
666
00:51:50,065 --> 00:51:53,444
This twisted tale isn't what
I thought mine would be.
667
00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:56,822
And some of you
believe I'm innocent.
668
00:51:56,905 --> 00:51:59,533
Some may still think I'm guilty.
669
00:52:01,035 --> 00:52:02,995
And you know, that's okay.
670
00:52:05,623 --> 00:52:08,292
Because it's hard
to escape judgment.
671
00:52:08,375 --> 00:52:10,169
It's hard to change
one's own mind,
672
00:52:10,252 --> 00:52:12,046
much less someone else's.
673
00:52:13,797 --> 00:52:18,093
Change is not guaranteed,
but it's possible.
674
00:52:19,178 --> 00:52:21,847
And I can't help it. I'm me.
675
00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:25,225
I hold on to hope.
47595
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