Original subtitles

(Man) # You had your way

# Now you must pay

# I'm glad that you're

# Sorry

# Now #

- (Cheering and applause) - OK.

Thank you, Curdy, for that, may I say, very accurate rendition.

You sounded just like Connie Francis.

Who's next? Come on. Do you want to do a song?

Come on. Anybody. We must have a volunteer. Don't be shy.

OK, then, that means we're going to get the lovely Brandy up to give you one.

(Woman) Bollocks. Take no notice.

Or perhaps even a duel.

(Woman) Give it up. (Man) Aye. Get off.

(Compere) Here we go.

Round of applause. What are you going to sing, my son?

- Nowt. - I'll tell you what I'll do,

Tie A Yellow Ribbon.

One from Cooper Clark, the people's poet, though they don't know it.

I feel him sitting beside me on me arm

A rat-tat-tatty, word bullet champ

Evidently Chicken Town.

The fucking cops are fucking keen

To fucking keep it fucking clean

The fucking chief, the fucking swine

Who fucking draws the fucking line?

Have fucking fun and fucking games

The fucking kids he fucking blames

And nowhere to be fucking found

Anywhere in Chicken Town.

- Fucking Chicken Town! - (Applause)

The fucking news is fucking bad The fucking scene is fucking sad

The fucking weed is fucking turf The fucking speed is fucking Surf

The fucking folks are fucking daft Don't make me fucking laugh

It fucking hurts to look around

- Everywhere in Chicken Town. - (Applause)

Gallons rushing in

Not for the proud man apart from the raging moon I write, but for the lovers

Their arms around the griefs of ages

The fucking train is fucking late You fucking wait, you fucking wait

You're fucking lost and fucking found

- Stuck in fucking... - Chicken Town!

The fucking view is fucking vile For fucking miles and fucking miles

The fucking babies fucking cry

The fucking flowers fucking die

The fucking food is fucking muck The fucking drains are fucking fucked

The colour scheme is fucking brown

- (Laughter) - Everywhere in Chicken Town.

Shaky shakes in somehow

''William, where are you? Once more unto the breach, William''

- (Microphone off) - Hunker up thy clean-faced loon

Blow, you winds Crack your cheeky cheeks

And rage you, hurricanes, rage

(Cheering and applause)

The fucking pubs are fucking dull

The fucking clubs are fucking full

Of fucking girls and fucking guys

With fucking murder in their eyes

A fucking bloke got fucking stabbed Waiting for a fucking cab!

You fucking stay at fucking home The fucking neighbours fucking moan...

(All) Keep that fucking racket down

This is fucking Chicken Town!

(Cheering and whistling)

The fucking pies are fucking old

The fucking chips are fucking cold

The fucking beer is fucking flat

The fucking flats have fucking rats

The fucking clocks are fucking wrong The fucking days are fucking long...

It fucking gets you fucking down

Evidently Chicken Town

Shut it.

- Get out! - Curdy, leave some milk at ours.

When you start paying.

And keep them hounds away from my cart, eh?

You're nowt but a flea-bitten mongrel yourself. You're a waste of time!

- Pale? - And fags.

4.70, please.

I never pick blokes up, you know. Only girls.

Young girls mainly.

Blokes talk bollocks all day.

Plus, women are good to look at. You're good to look at.

How old are you?

Where did you get them bruises?

Put some cream in them after, if you want.

Have you got any more bruises? I'll do them for you as well, if you like.

Don't say much, do you?

Sort that out after.

(Driver) I'll have you moaning.

Drink. Come on.

- Hey, bollocks. - (Growls)

- (Dogs bark) - (Girl) Dirty bastard.

Here's a Creme Egg.

Come on.

(Groans) Come on.

'Ey!

No one could tell in your garden.

It's hot.

Thought you might want a lie-down.

Do you like music?

Yeah.

Have a radio.

Broke your guitar.

It's all right.

It's not a Beatles one, is it?

You like a real guitar?

Bet you like a real guitar.

Have a lie-down.

No, no.

I'm not getting in.

- There you are now. - (Dogs whimper)

Have you got everything you need now?

Want some of them Rich Tea biscuits?

Get some of this down you.

Give us a tune.

# You, you

# Me, me

# You, you

# Me, me

# You, you

# Me, me

# You, you

# Me, me

# You, you

# Me, me

What's new in the old town?

Is this the sky that I've found?

Paint it all black

React, react

# What about it, everyone?

# Look out, 'ere they come

# It's the formation march of the 16-year-old mum

# How to survive wasn't on the curriculum

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out! Get it out!

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out! Get it out!

# Why are we born to die?

# Climb into my third eye

# Where do we go from here?

# I don't know how to steer

# Mojo knows just where to go

# It's rife

# Words on the wall, let it fall, let it fall

# Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh

# In our street we have a council house druid

# Covered in privets and sexual fluid

# Barmaid down the pub

# Beer, crisps and pies

# What does youth taste like?

# A Kinder Surprise

- Oi! - (Thumping)

What?

Turn it up!

Turn it up!

# You're nowt from nowt

(Both) # Get it out! Get it out!

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out! Get it out!

# There they go, Mr and Mrs Estate Trash

# Takeaway tonight, she's got the chips, he's got the stash

# Good cop, bad cop

# Laughed so hard, he can't stop

# Give me a slap that

# Might bring me back

# Let's play Cluedo in the tea stains again

# On a Formica table with fag ends and a big pen

- # Kids go out - Go on.

Get it out! Come on.

# ..on her mobile phone

# Mum's not there anyway, she's on Sky and Prozac

# She's got UK Gold and she's not coming back

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out! Get it out!

# You're nowt from nowt

- # Get it out, get it out - Get it out! (Laughs)

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out! Get it out!

# Good cop, bad cop

# Laughed so hard, he can't stop

# Gimme a slap that might bring me back

# Let it fall, let it fall # Oh-oh-oh

# Hear my call, hear my call

# Hear my call # Hear my call

# Let it fall, let it fall # Oh-oh-oh

# Hear my call, hear my call

# Oh-oh-oh

# Who capsized the sky?

# Just saw the floor go by

# Drink is a mighty thing

# Birds flying out of my head and sing

# Sing # Sing

# Oh, sing # Sing

# Sing # Yeah, yeah, you, you

# Me, me

# Sing # You, you

# Sing # Me, me

# You and you and me and me

# You and you and... #

The end.

The end.

Come on. This is all part of it.

It's all part of it. The street's all part of it.

Come on! Come on! Come on!

# There they go, Mr and Mrs Estate Trash

# Takeaway tonight, she's got the chips, he's got the stash

# Good cop, bad cop

# Laughed so hard, I can't stop

# Give us a slap that

# Might bring me back

- Have you seen this? - # Let's play Cluedo

# In the tea stains again on my Formica table

# With fag ends and a big pen

# The kids go out and never come home, no

# Never accepts on her mobile phone

# Mum's not there anyway, she's on Sky and Prozac

# She's gone UK Gold and she's not coming back

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out! Get it out!

# You, you

# Me, me

# You, you

# Me, me

# You, you

# Me, me

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get out, get it out

# You, you

# Me, me

# You, you

# Me, me

# You, you

# Me, me #

Yeah.

Strayman!

Hey, Strayman.

- Tell you what, this is great. - (Recording playing)

Do you know what? I've got all sorts of CDs up to the ceiling in there, right,

but this is it, this is.

This is it!

What's her name?

Do you not name your strays?

Call 'em all the same.

Man dogs Sergeant.

And what about the bitches?

Call 'em Strumpet.

- My name's Strumpet! - Do you mind if I manage ya?

Here's my card.

Knockoff Management. Also second-hand goods.

I'm just gonna get you a record deal, all right?

I'm gonna take you to the top.

(PA) Buy three videotapes, get one free.

Only here at Comet.

- Knockoff, why are you here? - I'm calling in that favour you owe me.

- You know the one. - I can't.

Don't worry, all's well. I just want 20 minutes on one of these computers.

So what is it you were thinking of, then, sir? CD-ROM?

- Internet? - Er, the internet, yeah.

What I want you to do is...

I want you to download this bugger for me, right,

onto one of those music sites, yeah?

Where all them record companies look for their talent, yeah?

You know the one, you know the one. Come on.

Right, er... Just give us five minutes to set it up.

Have a wander.

'Ey, Knockoff.

What?

No lifting.

You've got the wrong guy.

Excuse me.

You have got the wrong guy.

I'm a pop manager.

Where from?

My memories are of being passed.

Ceilings passing.

Scenery passing.

I remember a mum, though, sometimes there.

Cheers.

Loads of lipstick.

Her falling over. Legs in the air and flowery knickers.

Where were music?

I don't know.

I lived in me cousin's caravan once.

He didn't have any dolls.

Or toys. Just a guitar.

I'd make up stories on the frets.

My fingers were our family.

The guitar was like a comforter.

Whenever I see one, whatever state it's in, it's like...

It's like it's there for me.

That's my longest memory.

Guitar.

Caravan.

And dogs.

He had two Irish wolfhounds that lived outside.

- They was always at the window. - One called Fartinringo?

No. (Laughs)

I had one called Fartinringo once.

(Strayman) I don't remember a lot now.

Most if it's all partied out and sunk away.

When life gives me a line, I never refuse it, I write it down.

What about the dogs?

I turn nothing away.

- Hiya. - Hiya.

I never thought I'd see it coming off the walls like that,

floating after the music.

It's a scraper, that guitar.

Getting under the words, lifting them into the air, into Knockoff's van.

- ''Get it out,'' he says. - (Dogs barking)

Get it out.

What about it, everyone?

Can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

What about it?

- Get it out! - (Dogs continue to bark)

- This is my band. Strumpet. - (Strumpet playing over PA)

Strumpet. 'Ere. Spread the word, sonny.

Tell your mother. And tell her mother's mother, OK?

- It's rocking to the beat. - It's rubbish.

It's got it. Listen to that.

Let it dance, let it rock, let it roll cos it makes you move.

'Ey, listen. 'Ere's me card. Listen. Open your ears and listen to that.

Spread the word. Pass it on, pass it on.

Choo, choo, choo.

It's the best. It makes you wanna move, sonny. Listen.

We are going places. It's heaven-sent.

Listen to that. Strumpet!

(Laughs) Here. Pass another one on.

'Ey. It's ready.

Let me. Let me.

- Well, is it gone now? - Oh, yeah.

It's gone. To the world.

So what are they like, this erm... Strumpet? Have you no photos?

Photos?

- No. - Video?

Video?

- 'Ere y'are. 'Ere y'are. - (Dogs barking)

'Ere y'are.

'Ere y'are. 'Ere.

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out! Get it out!

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out, get it out

(Knockoff) Hey, Strayman. Take a look at this shot, man.

Take a look at this shot, Strayman. Hey, Strayman!

Take a look at this shot, man.

# Do you take my hand

# Right away, every day

(Brakes screech)

Oh, shit.

Hey, Curdy. Listen to this.

Do you like it?

It's tripe.

Me and Strayman is taking it to London to make our fortunes.

Well, that's a laugh. You won't get beyond t'first pub you come to.

Well, we'll be glad to be stars

- and buy all the milk off you. - I wouldn't sell it to you.

Well, we'll buy all the cows in the world, then. What then, eh?

What then?

Riffraff.

(Knockoff) Come on, everyone.

''A woman is here

''She's become like my tinderbox

''Tender tinderin from us both

''Something for the world''

(All) # We're off, we're off, we're off in the motorcar

# 60 miles an hour and we don't know where we are #

(Knockoff) Just rang up a record company, right?

He said, ''It's nice and raw''.

- I said, ''Raw? As raw as arseholes''. - (Laughs)

I had them when I finished. They'd never heard anything like it.

Us?

No, me. They'd never known goddamn management like it. I was in...

I was in tongues. You know, I had 'em rapt in tongues.

Whipped right up. Are you glad we're going to London?

Eh? Because they want us down straightaway. I said, ''Fuck that''.

We'll be there before they... We'll be there...

I told 'em, I said, ''I know how to get the nation nodding and rocking''.

I'm a pop manager.

See him.

He needs a break.

All that talent on his bedroom wall.

You can see he's excited. You can see he's excited.

- Are you glad we're going to London? - Whatever he wants.

That's good,

cos it's what he needs.

(Strayman) The scallywag crew in a rusty ship

Under the wheels the motorways slip

(Knockoff) Give it a chance, they'll want it.

All that talent. All them years.

No one cared.

The life she's had.

It's good you've come together.

It's good you've got someone like me, right?

To get it out. Get it out, I say. Get it out.

Me and you and my van are gonna take her from nowt

to every single thing in the whole wide world that she could ever want.

Knockoff.

What?

Why you do this for?

I believe in you.

I believe in you.

You know, I believe in you.

And I want my name around a...

a mill chimney.

Eh?

That's what my grandad who brought me up always wanted, you know.

That's what I want.

- Knockoff round a chimney. - That's not my name.

My real name's Richard Atkinson George Eclair.

(Laughs) You're going to need a fat chimney.

Abbreviations will do.

- (Van horn) - (Big Ben chimes)

Hello, pigeon.

(Both) Hello, pigeon.

Hello, Underground.

# He's a cheeky, chirpy cockney #

(Laughs)

# You, you

# Me, me

# Sing # You, you

# Sing # Me, me

# You, you

- # You and me and me - Aaagh!

- It's good, innit? - Original.

(Laughs) Well, go on. What's your favourite bit?

Er, well...

Difficult for me to say, really. For one thing, I've got cynophobia.

- Fear of dogs. - Eh?

The end, it's... It's good, though, innit? You know, the gravel slide.

At this point we're not too worried about the video.

Though, of course, there will have to be some changes.

Of course. Absolutely goddamn of course. Yes.

Yeah. Fair play. I see what you mean.

Er...

Er... More like art on the telly pops, type of thing, you know?

Surreal sort of thing.

Er...geese coming out of a gigantic fish cake type of thing, yeah?

Voom! You only see everything for a second and then it's gone.

''What the fuck is that'' type of thing, you know?

Oooh, tarts doing all that dancing around, you know.

You find yourself catching a bus on a beach.

You think the sea is a rolling rock,

but the next thing you know,

it's a top catalogue model's sty.

Sex is going to happen, but then...

Ha! 200 birdcages, ooh! They fall down on a pensioner.

But not to worry, because when she stands up,

it's the goddamn top catalogue model again,

shaking her hair for all she is worth.

And by God, ooh...

By God, her bra's fluorescent.

Then it becomes two blazing beacons, then two lighthouses, then stone me!

If she's not climbing up one.

Or is it a knob? I don't know. It's hard to tell.

Impossible to tell at these speeds.

Fucking fruity, though, whatever it is.

And then before you know where you are...

(Makes zipping sound)

You're on the goddamn great gravel slide.

Yes.

Probably will be redone.

Even the great gravel slide?

Well, anyway, what about some drinks?

Perry, can you do the honours?

It's only lime juice, I'm afraid. The wife's got me on a detox.

- Can I have summat in it? - (Perry) We've got nothing.

He won't have the temptation.

I... (Sighs)

Well, we wanted to meet you because...

Well, Perry's had his internet prospectors

out in them there cyber hills again.

Yours is some of the gold dust that's come back for appraisal.

Now, while everything that glistens is not gold...

Perry thinks there's definitely something there, don't you?

- Don't you, Perry? - Yes, I do.

- Bit of bullion? - Might be.

Might need melting down.

- Might not. - Might not?

Might be a rough nugget we can put straight onto a chain.

Well, anyway...

What I'd like to propose is this.

How would you feel about passing it through the old studio tomorrow

- and seeing if it's the real thing? - Yes.

- Would that be all right? - Right, Colonel.

Toast?

- To Crumpet. - Strumpet.

(Laughs) Oh, yes.

Aaaagh!

(Knockoff) Bee-boh!

Switched into a singing sensation.

(Laughs) What about this, eh?

Oh, man.

You should see my room. You should see the acreage.

I could have drove the van in,

parked up, and... stepped out onto the bed.

Someone should have warned them to nail everything down.

How dare you? I am a pop... (Makes popping sound)

..manager.

Look what I got you.

Look! Look how far I got you.

- Have a swig of that. - Where this from?

Room service. You ring down and it's up.

I'm telling you, get on the blower.

You got everything delivered in there. Free dinners. All-day breakfast all day.

Every make of beer. Towels, towels, Toblerone, towels.

And a Twix as well. Look at this.

Your goddamn favourite.

A fridge without food.

Look how little these are.

They must be, er...Lilliputians, these Londoners. 'Ey, see.

Six huge remote controls.

Everything's automatic. You can make a cup of tea,

- flush the loo. - (Toilet flushes)

Turn on the lights.

Knock the walls down, stop the traffic, do anything. No, man, no.

Oh tell of the hotel

Fresh sheets from flower beds

TV, gin and lemons

Bells of St Clement's

# Turn again, turn again

# Shout down Big Ben

- Save it, pal. - # Shout down Big Ben

- No! - # Curly-wurly pearly queen

# Take us where we've never been

# Come on, you be... #

(Tunes guitar)

Right. Ready to go.

Again.

And...

go!

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out! Get it out!

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out! Get it out!

# You're nowt from nowt

# Spout it out! Spout it out! # Get out, get out

OK. Hold it.

Strumpet. Strumpet, dear.

You're too far from the mic now.

Come in.

Yeah. Come on.

And also, Strayman,

once again, that's not what you sang last time.

All right?

- Oh, God. What's that? - Now listen, mate.

They keep changing lines and changing positions.

- Listen. - I don't know what verse we're on,

- I have no idea where we are. - Listen.

I have no idea how we'll get anything down.

- Listen! - I've worked with many people,

even rappers, but this is bloody ridiculous.

- He is writing over my fucking window! - (Knockoff) 'Ey!

- Listen! - Who is this?

Knockoff Management. Listen.

Every time they get going...

Ha! You stop it. You stop it and you make them do it again!

- That's how it's done. - Well, can't you put...

summat on it, to...

you know, to make them go for it? That's what I did.

Sorry. We don't do it that way.

- What's the time? - Ten o'clock.

Oh, God. How many hours is that and nothing yet?

I don't think this is gonna happen.

Come...

Come on!

Goddamn go for it! Yeah?

We're in the room, ding-a-ling!

Erm...twizzle. Swizzle, swizzle, twizz!

- # You're nowt from nowt - Keep dancing.

# Get it out! Get it out!

- # You're nowt from nowt - From nowt.

# Get it out! Get it out!

# You're nowt from nowt

She'll have to go knicker and bra.

Whatever.

Just get a mic on her, will you?

# The room's around us, the room's around us

(Both) # The room's around us

# The room's around us

# You, you

# Me, me

# You, you

# Me, me

- # You, you - Near the mic.

- Mic. - # Me, me

# You, you

Agh! Jesus!

- He was trying to straighten the mic! - Look at them.

Look at them. They're really going now.

- # You, you - Go on!

# Me, me

# You, you # Save me, save me

# Take me somewhere and save me # Save me, save me

# Nobody else is alive

# Save me, save me # It is the end of his time

- # Save me, save me - Nothing.

Oh. Leave them. Somebody pull the plug, will you?

Plastic fish.

(Man) Easy to replace.

And go where you want them.

(Perry) OK. Look. We've called this meeting because...

to be honest, changes need to be made otherwise this project's going nowhere.

Is this because he smacked the cockney?

No. Er, no.

- Well, is it his voice, then? - I'm kind of a white Barry White.

- It wasn't that funny. - No. No. Voice we can enhance.

But attitude we can't.

As yet.

Strayman, you see, for us, Strayman's strength,

for me, for us...

is the song.

The lyrics. The lyrics themselves.

Having said that, we need to...

pin them down.

Um... Some of the present ones we're a little...cautious of.

So we're going to look for alternatives,

even if they end up being other bands. Hm?

Eh?

In short, we need to try her alone.

Do the music.

You provide some more song words,

or else we'll be finding it very difficult to proceed with this venture.

'Ey, er, come on now. There's no need for that. We can... We can muzzle him.

I've got a van load of words out the, er... the back, ready to, er...to shift.

Eh?

Van walls.

There's some scrawl.

I don't rewrite, re-edit, copy down.

They go where they go.

If you want them, you'll have to find them,

Colonel Parker.

And son.

Don't forget anything, you Babylon scribes!

''Are you glad to be going London?

''Are you glad?

''Londin-inium.

''You slag and a genie,

''With your sexy So-ho-ho,

''And your Big Ben beanie''.

God's sake!

(Beep, guitar playing)

# Don't dream...

I've forgotten what I'm supposed to say.

(Sighs) Oh, bloody hell. Not again.

What is it?

''Down my street, there's a dream that's on its way''.

Did I write that?

- I don't think so. - I copied it down from that van roof.

I can't straighten up now.

I'm sorry, but I've almost had it.

Everything I read, he's contradicting.

Just read it again. Come on, let's get going.

- ''Down my street...'' - (Growls)

Oh, give it 'ere, I'll do it.

''Down my street, there's a dream that's on its way''. All right? And go.

(Faltering) # Down my street there's a dream that's on its way

# Down my street there is a dream that's on its way

# Down my street there's a dream...

Come on! Cage it, stage it.

Rearrange it, derange it.

Make us crawl, I curse you all!

- Go on. Devolve it. - (Strumpet) Strayman.

- Strayman! No! - (Ranting)

Strayman!

# What's new in the old town?

# Is this the sky that I found?

# Paint it all black

# React, react

# What about it, everyone?

# Watch out, here they come

# It's the formation march of

# The 16-year-old mum

# How to survive wasn't

# On the curriculum

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out, get it out

# You're nowt from nowt

- # Get it out, get it out # - (Dogs bark)

Saw the video this morning.

I think she's on Top Of The Pops tomorrow night.

Did you go sore, then, Strayman?

(Curdy laughs)

You can always depend on Karaoke Ken to bring you the very latest.

(Woman) Where did you get your shirt from, Ken?

(Ken) This one is so fresh, it's not even on the selection card yet.

So, holding with tradition on these occasions,

the first to karaoke it will be the lovely... Brrrandy!

After then, you can queue up yourselves to have a go.

It's a lively new number called er...

Strumpet!

(# Cheesy karaoke backing track)

# What's new in the old town?

# It's time I found

# Paint it all black React, react

# What about it, everyone?

# Watch out, here they come

# It's the formation march of the 16-year-old mum

# How to survive, not on the curricul-u-u-u-m

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out, get it out

# You're nowt from nowt, get it out, get it out

# You're nowt from nowt, get it out, get it out

# You, you!

# Me, me! #

(Woman) Didn't fucking go near him! (2nd woman) Sod off, will ya?

We've driven nonstop. She's gone away.

Only you can find her, Strayman.

I don't know what's happened to her.

- Come on. Come on! - (Dogs bark)

Come on. Come on, come on.

'Ey, 'ey. Now. Now. In.

Come on.

Absolute fucking full speed ahead, boss. I'm sorry about the dogs.

That's all right. I used to drive for the Mondays.

- She's due on Top Of The Pops tonight. - What happened?

Well, we gave her this limo to drive to the studio early morning, for rehearsal, like,

fucking snooty security there wouldn't let us in.

They had me and Parker here in the office.

They couldn't believe that I could be a pop manager.

- Me! With all the experience behind me. - Get on with it!

Well, when I'd got back to the limo, she'd gone.

She saw her chance.

Eh?

Do what's said. Run when the time is right.

Eh?

- (Indistinct) - Ah, well, there's no running now.

She's signed, Strayman, she belongs to them now.

Not forever, but for long enough.

(Dogs bark)

'Ere now, 'ey up.

Here!

- (Knockoff) Come on. - (Girls squealing)

Find her.

I want to know from what she's running.

Fame, fortune, luxury hotel, expensive meals, from what I can work out.

- You're gonna need this. - 'Ere.

What's this? What's that?

Oh, God!

(# Dance music)

Heel.

Heel. 'Ey!

Heel.

Find her, find her. Find her.

- (Dogs bark) - 'Ey. Find her.

Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go.

- (Dogs bark) - Come on. Find her. Go, go.

(Train honks)

(Dogs bark)

Shh.

(Dogs fall silent)

(Knockoff) Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa.

Hey! Hey, hey! Come back!

- All right? - I was.

Why do you ask? You put me with strangers and you left.

- No. - Yes.

- No. - Just go.

- Strumpet? - Go! Go on, get out!

Get out! Just go.

Go on, go. Get out! And me name's Claire.

Now go on! Go and pick up another bloody stray!

I can't live without you now.

Then why did you leave me?

I thought it was for the best.

Best for you.

What? This?

One thing to another, one place to another.

While people do with you what they want.

It's the same stray life, just with regular meals.

I don't know.

I don't know nothing.

Please come home.

Or anywhere you want.

I liked it back there.

With the dogs.

That's us.

I can't go nowhere, though.

The company might see me. They've got me all lawed up and bound.

We'll go now. Have you got everything?

Have you got everything, have you?

Have you?

(Sniffs) I've got you.

We'll stay together. Hide out a bit.

I know a fat lady with a guesthouse.

(Dog barks and whimpers)

Stand by for the debut performance of Strumpet.

It's still number one, it's Top Of The Pops.

Is this your first time on television?

(Hairdryer drowns out speech)

Do you like chocolate?

You can't go in there, Strayman.

They know about you.

14 million albums and still going strong.

Up next, the debut single from a brand-new artist.

Making her Top Of The Pops debut, this is Strumpet.

Strayman.

(Knockoff) Wait for me!

- Strayman. - (Dogs bark)

Oi! Come back here!

Strayman.

Oi! Where are you going?

Strayman!

Strayman!

Strayman!

# Oh, you, you

# Yeah, me, me

Strayman!

# You, you

# Yeah, me, me

# Let it fall, let it fall

- Strayman! - # Let it fall

# If I fall

# If I fall

Strayman!

Strayman!

- # You, you - Strayman.

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out, get it out

# You, you # Oh, you

# Me, me # Me, me

# Yeah # Me, me

# You, you

# You, you # Me, me, yeah

# What's new in the old town? Is this the sky that I've found?

# Paint it all black, react, react # React, react

# What about it, everyone? Watch out, 'ere they come

# The formation march of the 16-year-old mum

# How to survive wasn't on the curriculum

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out, get it out

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out! Get it out!

# Why are we born to die? Climb into my third eye

# Where do we go from here? I don't know how to fear

# Pen is a mojo, knows just where to go

# It's alight

# Words on the wall, let it fall

# Let it fall

# Hear my call # Let it fall

# Hear my call

# Hear my call, hear my call

# There they go, Mr and Mrs Estate Trash

# Takeaway tonight, she's got the chips, he's got the stash

# Good cop, bad cop

# Laughed so hard, I can't stop

# Gimme a slap that might bring me back

# Let's play Cluedo in the tea stains again

# On a Formica table with fag ends and a big pen

# Kids go out and never come home, no

# Never accepts on her mobile phone

# Mam's not there anyway, she's on Sky and Prozac

# Gone UK Gold and she's not coming back

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out! Get it out!

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out, get it out

# You're nowt from nowt

# Get it out, get it out

# You're nowt from nowt

- # Get it out, get it out - Look!

# You're nowt from nowt Get it out! Get it out! #

(Crowd chants) Get it out! Get it out!

Yeah!

Published 13/04/2013 @ www.podnapisi.net