Original subtitles

[Music]

this is one of the greatest plays ever

written so shut up and listen you will

sit there quietly with your hands in

your laps you will not throw pennies at

the actors you will stare at that stage

until it is over if I hear so much as a

peep from any of you I'll give you a

reason to be sorry mark my words

well this is what you get at the end of

a run School groups bus tours they

probably don't even know what they're

here to see

look you see

she's a hundred years old it's a

struggle for her and yet she still makes

the effort

perhaps she's never seen the play before

let's hope she has seen it before

call me superstitious

[Music]

in

for himselfish pig but sorry

[Music]

on Earth

[Music]

Romeo Juliet doesn't matter

[Music]

tragedy

but my Cottage on Lake Joseph is on a

Boundary Road or something

tiny road so it's not gonna

Sandy Point Road but I don't think I'm

gonna need that GPS thing in the middle

of the dashboard because it's not gonna

know that little Road in Rico

I'll think it over and I'll get back to

you by four o'clock

yeah okay

sorry I had to take that anyway you were

saying

oh

the festival yeah

after 44 critically acclaimed Seasons

new verbiage has set the Benchmark for

theater festivals in North America now

Saint Rock bottled water has always been

a valued sponsor let's cut the [ __ ]

you had a bad year

well it was a difficult year for the

theater Community generally yeah but you

had that whole thing with Cosmopolitan

lens treks

yes there was a difference of opinion

over the direction the festival should

take yeah I heard they screwed you I

would say screwed but

I'm afraid I have some bad news for you

we're moving towards a lying the saint

Rogue brand with a more traditional

charity so next year we're going to be

cutting our level of sponsorship team by

half

what no it's all very hush-hush but we

got this big Paralympics thing happening

in the spring

associate your product with crippled

athletes that makes no sense drink the

water that blind hurdlers drink that's

insane

Jesus Richard listen to yourself

you sound like a Nazi I'm sorry

that God you're really in the [ __ ]

aren't you

we've lost 32 percent of our corporate

sponsorship

our subscriber base is dying the

American tourists are staying away in

droves we got a high dollar bad reviews

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

nobody will help us I've Been Everywhere

Richard you're just gonna have to sell

more tickets huh it's not that easy

we're talking about theater

Richard we sell people water something

they can get out of a tap for free

you people in the Arts have got to get

your head screwed on right right you got

to decide if you're a business or a

charity if you're a business make your

market sell your product if you're a

charity go to the government that's

where the big money is

I'll tell you what you need some

business to have in your organization

you get me on the board next season I'll

see what I can do

this have another drink

get out of here

get the [ __ ] out of here

[ __ ] off at no Sandy Point Road

oh Enrico you are a [ __ ] my friend

hold you the watch tonight I do my Lord

arms say you armed by Lord

top to toe my Lord

[Music]

are you my Lord I actually can't hear it

and also really get it out and then you

just got to move upstairs right away all

right oh I can hear the word rhubarb you

want to try very that you know cabbage

even would work

ah Cyril okay I think we're just we're

starting to lose our sense of place

where are we what time of day is it

what's the light like I say is it cold

I'll see what you mean no I mean is it

cold oh yes okay well let's see the gold

let's feel it all right

all right all right good carry on as you

were

[Music]

stamp your fake deer we're losing the

sense of place

I'll be home about six and then I'll

have to unwind

I know I have to unwind alone dear

I wish on the First Act I'll I'll call

you tonight

kiss kiss

that was Sloan it's like having a pet

okay I've been thinking about the willow

speech no can you describe Ophelia's

death in great detail you're typing me

insane why do you describe it in such

detail

a young girl falls in the river and

drowns

that kind of thing tends to stick with

you

why didn't you save her

I don't know I didn't want to ruin my

dress

please don't make me talk about this now

Ellen come on

she was better off dead she was

suffering okay

let's take this a little bit further

what if Ophelia didn't

what if she killed herself

I say she was mad she was incapable of

her own distress

you could be lying oh Jesus Christ

Ophelia drowns and you stand by and

watch it happen why because you do

believe that she'd be better off dead

you already feel responsible for her

Madness and now you feel responsible for

her death so in a final Act of Mercy

you lie about her death you disguise her

apparent suicide so the poor thing can

be buried in consecrated ground Jeffrey

that is a completely different approach

to the speech yeah I think it might be a

bit stronger than your I don't want to

ruin my dress subtext you can't do this

to me this is the last performance well

think of it as your last chance to get

it right

ten minutes until the top of the second

half Kate 10 minutes it's not my fault

they pushed the shoot date on them

it's God's fault it's God's fault a

volcano erupted or didn't erupt or

something I I don't know but it's out of

my hands I'm sorry so you're just gone

like that

I'd be at the party

stay till the end

I can't talk about this right now okay I

can't believe you are just leaving

come with me

they're giving me a house for the whole

shoot

on the big island

Hawaii or Honolulu whatever the big one

Kate come with me I can't talk about

this right now I can't talk about this

right now okay okay after

after yeah if there's time

come with me

go away

please go away

five minutes to the end of intermission

five minutes

should you be drinking now the show's

not over it's champagne not tequila

anyway Claudius is a boozer watch me in

act two

I shall fly without a net when you have

a moment

he's

your director but he can't do this now

I'm in the middle of a performance here

hang on to this hobby pack in a minute

stuff to another drink

ah hey so I've been thinking about your

reaction to the murder of Polonius

I mean you're relieved obviously you 've

been spared and that really has to do

with your fear but I'm kind of wondering

what is claudius's feeling about Hamlet

at this point I mean he's deranged he's

hunting him down Jeffrey have started

already

I guess I know I'm just thinking really

this is the last show in the audience is

full of hudlums what's the point

excuse me you're young comparatively

speaking well one day you'll learn to

let go let go of what hey

you see you feel the show is your child

now I can respect that

but you're an overprotective parent

constantly hovering and nattering you

better be careful or your little boy

will end up in a clock tower with a

rifle Brian I'm the director of this

play I have a problem with your

performance Jeffrey we've talked about

giving notes at intermission saved by

the union who would have thought thank

you Maria

[ __ ]

there is a willow gross a scant a brook

that shows its horror leaves in the

glassy stream

there with fantastic garlands to Gmail

Crow flowers Nettles daisies and long

purples that liberal Shepherds give a

grosser name but our cold mates do dead

men's fingers call them

there

pendant bow her Coronet weeds clamoring

to hang an envious liver broke when down

her weedy trophies and herself fell in

the Weeping Brook

time she chanted snatches of old Lots

capable of her own distress

but long it could not be

to that her garments heavy with their

drink

pulled the poor wretch from her

melodious sleigh

to Marty death

I need to see Jeffrey when I get back we

need to talk did you eat yes I ate

you sound cranky Anna all I do all day

is beg for money I am Way Beyond crying

well I

I wish I was cranky Henry breed loves

agent called it's looking good really

oh God please stop screaming me for two

minutes and let this happen

that was a good one good job thanks none

of Racine we're on fire

yeah

[Applause]

Sun spills are hard to clean up

Jeffrey attendance

who is that that's Moira she's a witch

running for your life

Moira there's cold in the theater again

I should have brought a blanket

but last time I was so hot well I'm

sorry

did you like the play I like to dwell

enough it's Hamlet true I like you

didn't tart it up

your Ophelia was good so is the boy the

movie star but it was a little too

pretty if you ask me the theater is no

place for pretty this I'll pass along

the compliment yes I liked it well

enough but like I say you can't go wrong

with Hamlet

and now Macbeth

that's another story

I'm interested

one

[Music]

what do you mean it's a puzzle for the

best of them Oliver was obsessed with it

he wrote reams of notes he had a plan

but you're not Oliver

no

and we're not doing Macbeth it's a trial

by fire

I've seen men broken by that play oh yes

I'm interested to see what you do with

that one

oh one request

put in an intermission

we're not animals

you are doing that play

no

let's play why they have some problems

it's full of blood no what I mean is

it's extraordinarily difficult to Stage

IT effectively it opens the door to the

other world and backwards them

it is an

it's not in the season okay relax good

it's evil yes you made your point thank

you very much back to your post

congratulations Ellen where's Jeffrey I

didn't know

God thank you

[Music]

[Music]

foreign

[ __ ] [ __ ] thanks good work on the

willow speech why are you doing this to

me it's not like I've just opened I

cannot stand to see

on matinees simply because the audience

happens to be full of school kids I

can't stand to see it murdered on two

shows Saturdays I can't stand to see it

tossed off or phoned in or walked

through I cannot stand to see this play

done badly now why is that so hard for

people to understand I'm not talking

about people I hate people as much as

you I'm talking about the way that you

treat me it has nothing to do with the

Integrity of the work it's personal

personal it's personal crap mixed up

with work I think work is personal crap

well that proves my point doesn't it oh

and you compartmentalize you've got an

ego bigger than this building you see

that's an insult you just insulted me

you're like a Schoolboy with a crush oh

come on

look me in the eye and tell me different

Ellen look me in the eye and tell me

different

see

hey there you are

okay hey

we're done

can you believe it

we have to talk about Hawaii

um can we just enjoy this moment for

what it is before we start talking about

all that other stuff

we're great

you were great

too

um

you are great

Kate

mate

oh God you are so awesome you [ __ ]

star you saw the show I flew up

what I'm [ __ ] not gonna see you do

Hamlet you loser God I can't keep my

hands off you I just wanted Kate this is

Cheyenne hi hi

oh you were the lawyer in Miss trial

Diaries right okay those aren't my tits

I want everybody to know that

I used a body double

okay

I wish they were my tits don't get me

wrong

oh God

you are so great really wow do you have

to cry like that every night my God that

must be [ __ ] hell yeah I've got to

talk to you where are they putting you

up in Hawaii uh they rented a house

somebody's house okay I'm in a [ __ ]

seniors Resort I swear to God it's like

all Cadillacs and old people so can you

do me a flavor can you get your agent to

call my agent and tell him what he got

you because he's telling me that

everyone's in a suite and I know he's

[ __ ] lying sure oh who's your angel I

[ __ ] love you

is that champagne yeah it's in the Green

Room

show me

okay

okay

stop okay sorry no no no no no it was to

be expected it it's an end of season

thing was it yes it was a release of

tension

there was a lot of tension building

personal crap exactly now it's done

that can ever happen again it was good

though yes I enjoyed it that's not the

point I haven't kissed you in seven

years nearly eight and it was nice but

it can't happen again okay now sorry but

oh home Sloan's coming for dinner and I

have to get ready for the party

Ellen

congratulations on a wonderful season

thank you

that was sarcasm wasn't it it was a

terrible season except for your Hamlet

[ __ ]

see at the party

Oh Ellen congratulations what do you

mean by that

for the season congratulations

oh right sorry thank you

uh Jeffrey Richard would like to see you

he's he's been drinking

he's drunk basically

wise man

congratulations on a wonderful season

Jeffrey well half season

well it wasn't wonderful when Oliver

died that was horrible

but anyway you know congratulations

thanks you too

first of all

drink

sure

first of all

congratulations on a wonderful season

well thanks you too

secondly ball

we are in terrible Financial shape

we're in the middle of a serious

financial crisis the loss of

Cosmopolitan land strikes was a big blow

a big big big blow yeah

I'm so sorry

she was a witch

she seduced me man

and you know I haven't had much

experience with women who

it's okay

just sex

when I was gymnastic Richard what's done

is done

what the hell are we gonna do

I mean I know what I'm gonna have to do

I'm gonna have to go to the minister of

culture and beg for money like some kind

of blind hurdler

well I think we should downsize

the fire people

Anna's gonna kill me Richard

I agree with you

yeah this place is too big we need a

small company of good solid actors and a

little fear there's not enough fear here

no actors should be frightened for their

lives that's when they do their best

work really

it's just like normal people

well

then

all I have to say to you sir

is I'm going to do my best to try and

support you

and to be better at my job

drink

no you know what why don't we uh we'll

share a bottle at the park

I don't think anybody

oh come on they all love you let's go

all right

oh wait wait there's good news Henry

Breedlove is finally available what

would he do exactly

Macbeth

where where here at the Rose Oliver

always wanted it it's not in the season

we'll cut something you know um Anthony

Cleopatra no no no Jeffrey come on this

is good news Henry's a major draw

continue

Oliver always wanted him to play the

part he talked about it all the time

great tribute no I am not doing Macbeth

it is an extraordinarily difficult play

to Stage effectively

no it's not

I'm not talking to you oh come on

Jeffrey hey this is good news

[Music]

oh God I want to give you your new

season reward sweetie I told you I

needed some time alone can I wait oh it

doesn't want to wait oh I'm sure it

doesn't you get in here oh yeah slip the

cash on the kitchen window

just want to surprise you sweetie people

my age don't like being surprised we can

die of surprise

fine I'll uh

I'll go

I'm sorry it's a very emotional days

the end of season is difficult you can't

keep shutting me out what you're all

about your work you know

I understand that I spend 20 hours a

week in the weight room I know what it's

like to be dedicated to what I do

20 hours a week

I'll let the fact that I win or lose a

race affect our relationship

you know what I'm saying you can

compartmentalize

what

it's different in the theater okay so

maybe it is maybe an actor can't

separate his life and his work so

so just let me in

let me into your world oh sweetie you

don't want to go there it's a horrible

place

forget I said anything sorry

you're right you're absolutely right God

I don't deserve you

I'll tell you what you can come to the

party

you can spend the night with a bunch of

drawn connectors and then you can see

why I want to keep you away from my

world

it's cool

now can I give you or uh your reward

okay

but I'll have

oh my God

oh god what the hell is that

it was my Kawasaki

oh

will you marry me

foreign

yes

[Music]

Benedict is a ride

[Music]

hey come on love let's have a nip

Benedict as in Arnold it's a term of

affection

have you seen Jeffrey I've always Hamlet

it was greatly overrated

have you seen Jeffrey

the Ghostly

for their ghost never seen one a ghost

no

I see Shadows shapes

they are shot ghost

I'd like to see one though

so you've never seen

Oliver Oliver Wells

no

is something bothering you

they want me to do Macbeth dammit

why does that bother you I do not like

that play he teaches us nothing

teaches us about evil no it shows us

evil it's a portrait of a psychopath

where I come from in Nigeria it is a

familiar site

I've had my feel of psychopaths

let's do it what

I want to dance with my fiancee remember

I said not to say that word Out Loud

come on one dance I can't sweetie my

feet hurt I've been in Queen she was all

day sorry I got beat B

[Music]

do you mind

no no

women have to stick together on closing

nights

after the apprentices have had a few

they start hunting for Strays like a

pack of jackals

who's that person with Jack

thank you

oh that's a friend of his who came in

for the last show

you hate her yes

can I ask you something

I don't know what to say dear

it's gonna hurt when he's gone

he wants me to come with him oh what and

hang around the craft table well they

have sex in a spaceship you'll be

miserable well he thinks I could get

work playing some fats stand-ups goofy

secretary and thinking all the while I

gave up Juliet for this

Hollywood is not the place for an

actress of your caliber

thank you you don't know what it means

to me to hear you say that

well

it wasn't easy to say that

he asked me to marry him

today at his apartment

well men ask women to marry them for all

sorts of stupid reasons don't let that

cloud your judgment

[Music]

no I am totally serious they take fat

from your ass and put it in your cheeks

wow I mean [ __ ] off doctor no hi hi can

I borrow him for a minute

oh

what is she she was missing Nebraska now

she's uh

a monster

hey uh thank you for everything

this has been the most incredible

experience of my life

I wish I could stay

why don't you I can't I'd be sued I have

a studio three pictures is that a good

thing

we'll see

I asked Kate to marry me

[Music]

she won't give me an answer my limit

gets here at nine

this is the very Ecstasy of love

from one Hamlet to another

[Music]

um

we turned to him

a secret or something you'll never share

kindly keep your war wound to yourself

I want to apologize for everything I'm

done

for

selling out the festival

for sabotaging the Hamlet

my behavior was an excuse

it was a sex thing

[Music]

I want to tell all of you that nothing

like that will ever happen again I swear

to God

for that Tom young Peter entered two

scenes too early to announce that lady

ever kick the bucket and without missing

a beat Stephen Amman said you might want

to check with a doctor I think she's

still angry you know

turning on

Jeffrey

what do you got for me next season well

I don't know Brian

the seasons go along eh things are kind

of up in the air right now I might not

even be coming back

Lord came to its senses

well no it's my decision actually well

Jeffrey I think you're too awful be good

for you get some perspective

learn your craft

where does this attitude come from

exactly you see that's your problem

right there lack of respect

you know you're left here in disgrace

and then you came scurrying back with

your tail between your legs you dragged

Oliver's memory through the dirt watch

what you say you directed one plane

it's all of a season not yours remember

that you stole it from it

and since you're going let me tell you

this

worthy of this theater

well that was lovely

it's been here forever I haven't we all

oh Jesus Jeffrey life is horrible

I'm quitting

watch I'm quitting my job because

of no although that little exchange

doesn't help no I'm just

don't leave me here

I don't worry I don't think you'll be

alone

[Applause]

[Music]

okay this is it uh I got a girl limo's

waiting I gotta pack okay let's go no I

can't jack I can't go with you I can't

I've dreamed of being here my entire

life okay they've asked me to play Julia

do you know what that means to me do you

you're asking me to give that up

I'm asking you to marry me I'm asking

you to marry me and I've never asked

anyone to marry me before

in real life Jack please don't

that's what this is about

then no

no

[Music]

[Applause]

say the whole thing

say the whole thing say say it say no

I don't want to marry you Jack

say it stop

stop torturing me

that's all I have to say

limo and go to Hawaii

okay I'm gonna call you on my cell phone

[Music]

you know it's not a threat to you no

good boy

a threat to one oh Jesus Jeffrey why

didn't we spawn like this

[Applause]

we have a relationship

don't we okay

so he's not a threat

the thing we have

oh that's wonderful

but your little dalliance would Skippy

over there is not the reason that I'm

leaving Jesus Christ what then

they're making me change the season

you want me to drop Anthony Cleopatra oh

[ __ ]

why should be cats no

Macbeth

really so I would play Lady ant

we'll play mackers

Henry breedloof

he's brilliant and it's a better play

than Anthony and Cleopatra no no no no

no arguably it is not a better play it's

actually quite flawed it is

extraordinarily difficult to Stage

effectively it is blood blood and more

blood and I don't want to do it this was

Oliver's thing it would be a nice

gesture in all of his memories you know

God Ellen YouTube it would be good karma

karma you just want to play Lady Macbeth

God yes I don't believe this Oliver

Wells is dead I poured him in the river

and swans ate him what do I have to do

to get this man out of my life

I think he's gonna come back don't you

what no that's not it that's what it is

no it is not

I'll be there if he does

thank you

but you know frankly

all this talk about our special

relationship and how you'll be there to

protect me well it kind of rings just a

little Hollow given the present

circumstance

hey

would you excuse me for a moment sure

hey what about my bike it'll be safe

here

316 McKenzie Place basement apartment

and because it's at the side I Wanna

Dance and kids in the milk box I want to

dance with my wife

well I'm I'm sorry but

you're gonna think I'm horrible

I can't take this

if you're sober you could see the wisdom

in this you're young I'm old it's not

natural

what's happening did you find yourself a

little Raper baby thingy sorry

you're wonderful I'm horrible but just

go now please before one of us throws up

[Music]

Kate does Jack love you

yes

do you love Jeff

yes and go

you just you just told me that I'd be

miserable this

is the life of an actress

news you played the Queens you play the

dreaded nurse and then you retire to Pal

and you sit there in the dining room

eating rice pudding and hearing endless

Tales of life on the wicked stage

and you realize that you never really

lived at all

it's pretended

is that what you want

I can't believe you're saying this to me

I'm supposed to play Juliet you can play

it or you can live it

your choice

Kate you know me

I'm Petty and bitter there's a reason

for that okay

don't make me spell it out just go

go girl seek happy nights to Happy Days

see them playing the nurse already

oh

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

for my military knowledge though I'm

Plucky and adventurary has only brought

me down to the beginning of the century

but still in matters vegetable animal

and mineral I am the very model of a

modern major general

[Music]

not quite the voice thanks

uh I played a Schroeder in my High

School production if you're a good man

Charlie Brown

do you know that musical yes I do well I

won the drama award I'm not sit around

Jeffrey

Sloan proposed to me today

I said yes

mazeltoff

I don't know what life I'm supposed to

be living but I'm guessing it's not a

Sloan's older crazy actress wife

so I ended it

I gave him back a sweet little Diamond

chip and I sent him on his way

it was very very hard so don't write it

off with some sarcastic remark

I did it for you okay

now

Brave

you suck it up and you stay here and you

direct me and not [ __ ] play

Jeffrey

uh ladies and gentlemen ladies and

gentlemen could you please gather

gather your senses for a moment

I just like to say that these last few

months have been uh

well and often enjoyable and always

interesting Journey down into the depths

of hell

but I would urge you to brace yourselves

for the future

the festival is in the [ __ ]

financially at least and the road that

lies ahead would make Dante himself Hawk

his ticket

Electra Pericles troilus and Cressida

Pirates of Penzance a murder in the

cathedral Romeo and Juliet a new

Canadian play and most frighteningly

Macbeth

yes Macbeth is a late addition to the

season a mandated Tribute to The Late

Oliver Wells

there will be struggle

there will be sacrifice there will be

tears there will be the occasional fist

fight

and in the end there will be

transformation

it just breaks my heart

that not all of you

can be part of it

thank you

[Applause]

happy

take me home

sure

[Music]

all my days are days gone by what once

made me smile now makes me cry oh

Wishing Well a steeple Bell a Bicycle

Built for Two

More reasons

[Music]

I'll give Jeff Jeffrey wait

I'm a lot older now I just don't want

you to be disappointed

[Music]

what from young actors no I haven't been

with anyone

you're lying no I'm telling you the

truth for eight years Helen listen you

have to remember I was in an asylum

and then when I got out I just kind of

never met the right girl

God Jeffrey I think that's a few

dozens waiters

none of them meant anything to me what

about your fiance let's stick to the

topic

I never thought about anybody for you

foreign

don't make me cry

I look weird

[Music]

memories

[Music]

memories of you

[Music]

I'm knackered yes

let's go home

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

reacting to

[Music]

I think it's only right my diction will

be money I'll ever find me light before

the intermission I'll be missing on us

right so totally understudy I can't go

on I can't go off I won't go home

to go on tonight's game right

[Applause]