Original subtitles

- [Narrator] This programme contains a pair of bangers,

a bit of twerking, and some sexy sparklers.

Some of the tans you see might be fake,

but these people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been given a little zhoosh for your entertainment.

Previously on "The Only Way Is Essex".

[man roaring]

- Oh, shit!

- This is such a bad angle.

- Yes. [laughing]

- Do you find her attractive?

- Yeah, she's a pretty girl.

- What, better than me?

- Do you care?

- Not really.

- I won't give my all to like Tom

because part of me held back,

thinks that I should be on my own.

- If you don't be honest with him,

then I think he's gonna fall madly in love with you, Lucy.

- I don't want a boyfriend.

I don't want a relationship.

I'm telling you the truth.

- And I'm glad you finally are,

because for the past four weeks

you probably haven't been telling me the truth.

- You got your friend back now.

- You can call it friends with feelings.

- Do friends kiss?

[upbeat music]

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ You and me now

[upbeat music]

♪ We light the sky

♪ Come on and get it

♪ A billion lights tonight

- Two more.

One.

♪ Flashing in your eyes

♪ Come on and get it

♪ A billion lights tonight

♪ Come on and get it

- Are you looking forward to Arg's bonfire party?

- I can't wait, he loves putting on

his little shindigs doesn't he?

- What are you using my words for.

- [Both] Shindigs.

[laughing]

- [Joey] I'm so glad to have my best friend back.

- Are you?

[laughing]

- Are you happy with your best friend back?

- What was that?

- Are you happy to have your best friend back?

- Yeah. - Yes.

- But you are still a little bit silly.

Kiss? [laughing]

Come on. - Listen, listen.

- Okay just kiss my hand. - Can I say one thing?

- What?

- You know when you used to say I was your soulmate,

does that mean best friends, as well?

- It's everything isn't it?

It's like when it's your soulmate, it's like your lover,

your partner, your best friend.

- It's everything innit?

- But at the minute,

we're not quite there with the soulmates.

Do you fancy me?

- Do you I fancy you? - Yeah.

♪ Long gone and fallen down

♪ But I'm loving how

- Right.

Breakfast is served.

- [Diags] Thank you.

- [Arg] I've never ever had in my life

broccoli and carrots for breakfast.

- It's called the cave man diet.

If it wasn't around 1000 years ago

you shouldn't eat it.

- Do we cook this or do we just eat this raw?

- No you gotta eat it raw, Diags.

But that sucks up all the water.

- You can't eat that, Lewis mate,

you can't fuckin' eat that.

- That is disgusting.

- What is this? - What's wrong with it?

- [Arg] That's ridiculous man.

- The pineapple makes your man juice taste sweeter.

[laughing]

Bit gutted about losing this apple bobbing competition,

let the side down, hadn't I?

Have you ever heard of bubble football?

Right, five a side, yeah?

But you've got like an air bubble round you.

So imagine being a bouncy ball playing football.

You hit the ground and--

- That's what it's like for me everyday.

- Aww. [laughing]

- Why don't we get El right on the phone,

see if he's up for getting dominated at bubble football.

- [Diags] Don't mention it's bubble football.

- 'Cause he'll be right serious,

he'll turn up limbering up,

we'll be like, right El you gotta get in that thing.

He won't know what's hit him. - Jump in your bubble mate.

[phone dialling]

[phone ringing]

- Arg.

Hello boy, what's happening?

- Is that Mr. Chin?

- Mr. Chin, why Mr. Chin?

[laughing]

- Listen, I'm with Diags and Lou Bloor.

Basically what we're thinking

is a bit of banter with the lads.

A little five aside football match later on, you up for it?

- Who's in your side, you?

- Myself, Lewis Bloor, Diags,

- Lou, Diags. - Tom P and Joey.

- Young guns

versus the oldies. - The old dogs.

- I'll see you there, you mug.

- You mug.

[laughing]

- Yes, I can't wait to see his face

when he's just standing there

when he's rolling around in his bubble thing

with his chin hanging out.

[laughing]

I love this.

- I think this is gonna be round two with you and Lou mate.

I think it's his way of getting you back.

- What, getting some pride back?

Well let's just try and crush that pride

even a little bit more.

Was that a bit venomous?

- A bit evil, but who gives a fuck?

[laughing]

♪ I found my way with

- Right, let's have a competition.

Who the dog loves more.

- See he definitely loves you Gem,

I've picked up on this.

- He does.

- Bo Jangles, who do you love most?

- Here kitty kitty.

- Bo Jangles. - She loves me.

- It's a boy. - But Bobby,

she came to me first.

Here kitty kitty.

She loves us both the same, Bob.

- She does.

It's a boy and I'm even calling her a she now.

After the 23rd time of telling you it's a boy.

Hello Ferne. - Fernting.

- Bo Jangles.

- [Ferne] All right?

- How are we?

- All right.

Well, hello darling.

- We just a competition who the dog loves more

but it's like our baby, it comes to us both.

- You got your kit Gem?

- [Gemma] For twerking?

- [Ferne] You ready?

- I'm gonna have the biggest bum at twerking

but I'm certainly going to give it a go.

- Bit of Miley.

- I mean, I'm packing a little bit of junk in my trunk

but dunno if I got the twerking like action.

- I'm more of a slut dropper.

- Show us Bob. - Ain't I?

Hand goes up in the air like an X Factor air grab.

- Come Ferne, let's do it.

- Go down,

hit that floor and pop up.

- Right, okay.

- Gem.

- I've got it. - You got it.

- You got it going on - I got plenty of junk

in my trunk. - Miley eat your heart out.

- [Gemma] How was your date with Dan?

- We had a really, really good first date.

We went rock climbing.

- Oh. - But it's actually--

Right, don't knock it.

- Do you know what, Dan's a great looking guy.

Got big muscles, he can carry the rubbish out.

- Love to spoon with him on a Sunday.

- He's got like really, really beautiful strong arms

and like when he hugs you, you just feel like really safe.

- But it ain't Charlie.

- It ain't my Charl.

♪ 'Cause I don't need the sunlight ♪

- Oh my God, Daniel Osbourne.

- Danny Muggy?

- What a mug.

- I know.

- What's he playing at?

- I just don't know.

Apparently on their date when they went rock climbing,

apparently they had a really good time.

Yeah whatever.

He said to Ferne, "I'm glad you won and it wasn't Jas."

And I just think--

- I know that's a bit-- - That is just so like muggy.

I didn't expect him

to be like that. - So muggy.

- And the thing is as well with Ferne,

she just wants the competition with me, Ab.

And I would have given her the date.

If she is so desperate, well flipping hell, have it.

- Obviously really desperate,

really fancies him that she had to pay for a date.

- I know and she's still sleeping with Charlie

so Dan's just a mug as well.

I think she needs to just remove herself.

Honestly. [laughing]

♪ Higher than the sun

♪ And nothing's gonna change

♪ The way I'm feeling now

- Did you hear what Lucy said and all that to Debbie?

- Yeah I did.

It's hard you know, I've been on loads of dates and stuff

but not one girl I've met, they're all very beautiful,

they're very nice but not one of them's a patch on Lucy.

But there's not really much I can say

'cause obviously she is with Tom.

So. and even though I don't like seeing it,

it's hard for me to see it.

I have to put on a brave face

and be like, "It's fine, it's fine."

Because I want her to be happy

but at the same time it does hurt

'cause it's always in my face.

- [Ricky] Go on, keep going!

- You know, before Vegas I told her

that I wanted to be with her, and she chose different.

- But I feel like now you're a totally different person,

and I feel like that's why it might be now

the time that you have to--

- But I'm a different person,

I have grown up loads.

I was an absolute idiot, I'll hold my hands up all day long

and say I was a complete twat

and I lost someone that I love

because I was selfish. - But that's okay to feel

like that, you know?

You made a mistake, you made some mistakes

but I do, honest, every time I mention you to her,

Mario, she wells up.

- Yeah. - And that's emotion,

and like if she didn't care

then she wouldn't have that much emotion in her.

She sort of hinted to me as well

that when Tom walks into a room

she gets this feeling

but when you walk in it's different and it's more.

- I'm not too proud to admit

that I still love her and I'll always love her.

But she chose Tom.

♪ Oh

♪ You know that I've been waiting for you ♪

- [Billie] What about Ferne and Dan at the Halloween party?

- Oh my God.

- Must have been so awkward for her.

I think Charlie walked in

just as they was at the point of hugging it out.

- If you love Ferne, go fight for her.

At last Joey gave a big gesture to Sam

like I feel the boys around here

they have feelings for someone

but they don't do anything about it.

- I just feel like though

this is a lot on Joey's terms at the moment.

Like if Joey said to Manth,

let's really give things a go, let's get back together

she would a million percent do it, she really would.

I don't understand all this, just friends,

like they've been engaged,

they've got a lot of history.

Why don't they just make it official again?

- It's a little bit similar to me and Tom

because like something feels right

but something feels wrong as well.

I do feel like there is some kind

of unfinished business with Mario,

whether or not that's just me saying to him,

right we need to sort this out,

let's be civil with each other

rather than daggers across the room.

- I think you should have that chat with him.

- [Lucy] I think I should.

- You never know, it might make you feel as if,

you know, you and Tom could maybe move forward.

- [Lucy] Yeah.

- He has been waiting for this text message, trust me.

- Oh God, this is gonna open a can of worms.

♪ Are you joking

♪ Must be joking

♪ You ain't laughing

♪ I ain't smoking

♪ Must be crazy if you think

♪ That we could start again

- Boys listen, they've called this on,

'cause they right fancy their-self, yeah?

They've tried to mug us,

now's the day we're gonna find out

who's the men from the boys.

End of the day we've all got something against this crowd.

You've got Tom P, he's come in here

and tried to nick your bird,

and he's been pied, yeah?

But we've still got to give payback for that.

You've got Lewis Bloor.

I can't lose to this kid.

He ain't goinna beat me, right?

[laughing]

Just put it together, all right?

We're gonna smash this, yeah?

Old dogs versus the scooter crew.

Who's gonna win?

- [All] Old dogs.

- Oh my God, have a word.

[cheering]

- [Arg] Come on you mugs!

Yes,

you fucking mugs

- Right lads, let me introduce you to your team,

myself Captain Lord Lou Bloor,

we've got Jumping Joey, Dangerous Diags,

Tactical Tom, and our secret weapon, Planet Arg.

[laughing]

- Is that hair cut like health and safety

for the balls or something?

[laughing]

- I'm aerodynamic when I'm taking you out son.

Right, El, here's your ball,

it's deflated so it matches your personality.

Right let's go!

[cheering]

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

- [Instructor] Circle, circle.

♪ Bubble butt

♪ Bubble bubble bubble butt

♪ Bubble butt

♪ Bubble bubble bubble butt

♪ Turn around, stick it out

- And twerk, snap it up,

push it back.

♪ Bubble bubble bubble butt

♪ Bubble butt

♪ Bubble bubble bubble butt

- [Billie] Gem, I'm loving you've got heels on.

- I've got the moves through Bill, look.

I can proper move my booty.

- [Billie] I feel like they make you feel more sexy

when you've got heels on. - I thought we was gonna have

like a chair and like bending over it.

- Sexy, take it down.

♪ Bubble bubble bubble butt

♪ Bubble butt

♪ Bubble bubble bubble butt

- Ferne.

♪ Bubble bubble bubble butt

- Nice.

- Ferne's gonna be twerking on Dan later.

- That is what it's all about, isn't it like?

- Twerking on your man.

You twerked on Tom recently?

[laughing]

♪ I don't care where we sleep tonight ♪

- Since the date with Joey,

I don't know I feel really confused.

Like things have been like,

a little bit up in the air to be honest.

He's trying to be in control of the whole situation

and I'm sorry but it's not fair on me.

I'm not gonna let it happen anymore.

Like we're going to the bonfire night.

- Yeah. - And I think this is

the perfect opportunity for him

just to be open about how he feels

and like, you know, what has he got to hide?

- What do you think?

Boys are horrible she said.

[laughing]

- Peter Pan, can you fly?

'Cause you're gonna fly in a minute, let me tell ya.

- [Arg] Let's do this, scooter crew.

- [James] Shut up you mugs.

- I'm gonna bolt in Lewis.

- Shall we double team Mario now?

Second from the left in the blue shorts.

- This is going to be fucking naughty mate.

[whistle blowing] [yelling]

- [Elliott] Bang in there, one nil to the old dogs.

- [Referee] One nil to Elliott's team.

[whistle blowing]

[rock guitar music]

- [Arg] Yes Lou, come on!

- [Lewis] I scored boys, yes!

- [Referee] Right that's one all guys.

[whistle blowing]

- [Arg] You mug.

- [Referee] That's 2:1 to Elliott's team.

- [Arg] This is bullshit.

- [Lewis] I swear they're all on me though.

- [Elliott] Mugs, see 32 and I still scored two against ya.

- [Lewis] Right, oi, oi, listen.

I'm diving into El, I'm diving into him.

[whistle blowing]

[whistle blowing]

Half time apparently.

- [Arg] We're losing!

- [Lewis] Oh, top end.

- 2:1 to Elliot's side.

You need to pull this one back fellas, ready?

[whistle blowing]

[yelling]

- [Arg] Lewis, here!

[cheering]

[whistle blowing]

- [Referee] 3:1 to Elliott's side.

4:1, yeah?

- [Arg] Fuck's sake.

Boys, I'll be honest with you, I think we've lost this.

I think now it's just about being ruthless.

- [Lewis] Right let's do this.

- [Mario] Oi, who have we said?

That one person.

Now's the time.

[whistle blowing] [yelling]

- [Elliott] We scored.

- [Referee] That's 5:1 to Elliott's side.

[whistle blowing]

[cheering]

- Get in there, you silly school fucking scooter mugs.

- [Arg] You long chin bastard.

- The old dogs.

- It's not even a proper sport.

♪ Oh it's not what you want

♪ Oh it's not what you want

♪ Oh it's not what you want

- Oh hello Dan.

- Hello. - How you doing?

You all right? - You all right?

- Yeah good, you?

Doing the shopping? - Who are you buying

chocolates for?

- I've got my second date with Ferne tonight.

- Are you excited?

- I am.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to it

but I don't know.

I've got something to talk to her about.

At the Halloween party.

- Yeah.

Abi said to me that Charlie went up to her

and said that he's been sleeping with Ferne still,

like all the time.

- Do you know what?

I think it's just one of them things

that you have with exes.

Like I can't, like I love Ferne

and I'm happy that you're going on a date with her

but I think there's like,

I don't know if it's like unfinished business,

do you know what I mean? - Yeah.

I'm not stirring anyone else's porridge

it just ain't gonna happen.

- Be straight with her.

Come on, out of all the girls around in Essex

she's gotta be the straightest girl.

- Exactly yeah. - And she would tell you

what's going on.

- But if she is though, she's mugging herself right off.

- I just think if you're gonna split up with someone

that's got to be it.

You split up, there's no going back.

- Now I've seen you, I thought you and James

could give the bonfire night a miss

and come and join me and Ferne out.

- Are you sure?

- I think I need some help.

Ferne's a handful.

[laughing]

- Well done boys. [clapping]

I'll tell you what,

the wheels come off the scooter crew big time.

They were useless.

[laughing]

- What was the deal with Lewis's barnet?

- I know, it's an absolute joke innit?

- It looked like a fuckin' pineapple.

[laughing]

- Lets all get in the shower, Lockie you go first son.

- Cool, boys. - Turn around.

[cheering]

[laughing]

[soft music]

♪ Is this your first day

♪ How can you walk

- Well we got smashed.

- To be fair I was more concentrating

on just smashing them rather than playing football.

- It just seems weird that someone like a 32 year-old man

would take playing bubble football so seriously.

- El was talking it so seriously, wasn't he?

[mimicking yelling]

Sprinting for that ball like a fuckin' bull.

- Like Braveheart or something like fuckin' weird.

So do you know if you're gonna come to Arg's bonfire later?

- Yeah probably.

- Is Lucy gonna come?

- I don't know mate.

I haven't really spoken to her about it.

After our chat at Halloween the other night,

she went, "Look we should go in our separate taxis,

"you go your way, I'll go my way

"and then we'll talk about it tomorrow."

And then that night we went back to hers

even the same night.

It shouldn't be this complicated.

I just feel like in Lucy's head

she's over complicating the whole situation,

so maybe I'm just gonna uncomplicate it.

♪ Hold me

♪ When you hold me in your arms ♪

♪ So when you hold me

♪ Yeah I can feel your heart beating ♪

- Hello little boy.

Oh Bentley.

Hello.

Oh, you remember me then?

Oh it's been too long, see?

Are you a bit confused?

- Yeah really confused.

I wasn't expecting to get a text from you.

- Basically it was a bit weird

at the Halloween party the other night.

You could have just said hello to me.

- I'm not gonna say hello to you because you were with Tom.

- Yeah, but. - It's just weird.

That's why I don't bother.

- If you just said hello, that's what I want it to be like.

- Yeah that's what I want. - I don't know about you.

- That's the way it was before Vegas.

- The thing is before Vegas, it wasn't like that.

I feel bad because I obviously heard

that you think that I sort of led you on a bit.

- I did honestly think that

that was the way it was going

and it just felt that you did choose Tom.

I go on dates and stuff

and the girls are very beautiful, they're really nice,

but they're not a patch on you, it's weird.

And you've set such a high bench mark

that it is strange.

- Oh don't Mario.

- It's true.

I'm only telling you.

- Diags what's happening mate?

- Where are you mate?

- I got the marshmallows,

I got the sparklers, I'll be there in a bit.

- Where are you?

- Oh shit.

- [Diags] What?

- Mario's having a drink with Lucy.

This is ridiculous.

- [Diags] Ah mate, what do you want to do mate?

Just forget about it, it doesn't matter does it?

- All right mate.

- [Diags] All right, see you in a bit.

- I can't believe you remember Mummy.

- How are things with Tom?

- Fine but don't, let's not talk about that.

- He's not you.

He's not.

- I don't know.

I don't know.

- I know that you said to Debbie that you're worried

that you'll never find someone that loves you

as much as I did.

- Oh God.

- Which,

I won't say that's probably far from wrong.

♪ Do you ever feel

♪ Like a plastic bag

♪ Drifting through the wind

♪ Wanting to start again

♪ Do you ever feel

♪ Feel so paper thin

- How's it going, big man?

♪ You just gotta ignite the light ♪

♪ And let it shine

- I've got a Gemma Guy Fawkes.

[laughing]

- Arg, I'm gonna kill you.

♪ You're a firework

- I know yous won 5:1,

but your flies are undone so.

[cheering]

♪ Boom boom boom

♪ Even brighter than the moon

- There she goes.

[cheering] - Burn bitch burn.

- Burn bitch burn?

Oh my God.

♪ You

♪ Help me lose my mind

- Darling.

- How you doing, you all right?

- You look nice.

- You look lovely.

- Oh, are these for me?

- Yeah.

- Very nice, how are you?

- I'm good, how you doing, you all right?

- Yeah I'm good.

How are you feeling about our second date?

- Yeah, yeah it's good.

I've been looking forward to it.

It's been

a little bit...

You know Danielle, don't you? - Yeah.

- When I saw her at the supermarket

I thought it'd be nice if them two come along.

I hope you don't mind.

- I'm going to have a drink.

Do you want to pour it for me Dan?

- Course I will.

Cheers.

- To a good second date.

- [Danielle] Hello.

- Here's Tarzan and Splash.

- Hello.

- How's it going, you all right?

- What do you mean Tarzan and Splash?

- Oh he calls me Splash I call him Tarzan.

You all right darling?

- Really?

- Yeah it's our pet names, innit babe?

- It is indeed.

So I hope yous two don't mind

that we've gatecrashed your date.

- Well I was a little bit pissed off at first.

- Was you?

♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh oh

- How do you like your sausages then Bobby?

Big, small, fat, skinny?

- I like them quite fat,

like I do like a girthy sausage.

- Yeah I bet you do.

- So like these little ones aint gonna touch the sides.

- No.

[energetic music]

♪ Stop, Nikki didn't say

- Where's Ferne?

- Ferne is on her second date with Dan I think.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Okay.

- He thinks he's well and truly on a second date

when really she's been staying at mine

for the last three nights, so.

- Are you still sleeping together?

- Um, yes.

- And she's still going about doing

and acting how she is?

- Yeah.

- Oh my God.

- You a little bit jel, Jas?

- I spend a lot of time with him Charlie,

like even in Vegas. - Yeah but what does

that mean as friends or?

- We kind of did go out on a date in Vegas.

- Right.

- He did stay round mine twice as well.

- What in Vegas?

- Yeah.

- Oh my God, you are a player.

[laughing]

♪ I'm a rockstar for life

♪ I'm just being honest

♪ Got a check on me right now

♪ I'm just being honest

- Get a few cocktails please?

Right the girls want a daiquiri and a pornstar,

I'll have a sham sham, what you want?

- I'll have a sex on the beach, please.

- So how are things going with you and Ferne?

Are you gonna make a move tonight then?

- Oh I don't know.

I've got this, just something on my mind.

I'm glad yous are here. [laughing]

Without you two it'd be like,

we'd just be silent eating chocolates.

[laughing]

- What do you think of him anyway?

- I don't know, Dan.

He's like, well he's good looking obviously.

- Yeah. - He's got a great body.

- Yeah.

- But

the chat.

- Nothing there?

[laughing]

- It is so awkward.

- Is it just like--

- Not until you got here I was a little bit like.

- Really?

- I don't know, I don't know

if I would have been able to have sat

though the second date. - Oh don't Ferne

- I know, it's really out of order isn't it?

♪ No matter where we go

- It's so nice.

- Mulled wine, it's not even Christmas.

- I did see Mario today.

He said something that I almost cried at,

but I was just like-- - He still loves you.

- He said, "I really, really want a girlfriend

"but no one comes close to you."

- He said that to me as well.

And he was like I know I'll never love anyone

like I loved Lucy. - But Jess its really hard

because like I do really like Tom

and I don't think people realise that.

And I feel like maybe it is because of Mario

that I can't move forward with him.

The reason I one day got up and I packed my suitcase

and left that flat is for a reason.

It was to make myself happier and I am happier.

- I think I just want the love story

and to see you and Mario

happily ever after. - That's what you want.

- You love playing cupid.

- I know I can't help it.

♪ You come here

♪ You don't need an occasion

♪ Just an ill advised itchin'

♪ For the conversation

- We want, you know, what's best for both,

we want yous both to be happy.

I think, I mean we're confused

God knows what you're thinking.

- I'm really confused.

I'm sorry but there's no such thing

as friends with feelings.

I could say that about you.

- Yeah.

- It doesn't really make that much sense.

- It doesn't make no sense.

He's just trying to prove a point

because I kissed Elliott which is pathetic.

Like get over it.

I'm so confused because behind closed doors

he's like all over me.

Says he loves me, talks about marriage,

talks about like getting a house together,

and kids and stuff like that.

So it's really hard for me

because he's sort of,

he's being like two different people at the minute.

It just feels like it's a bit of a game.

- Listen we can give you all the advice

and say all of our opinions in the world.

You need to speak to Joey and lay your cards on the table.

♪ We had it all

- So girls, you having a good night?

- [Danielle] Yeah really good night.

- Rather be here than at the bonfire with all the others?

- Who's actually at Arg's bonfire?

- Well I know Bill and Manth are there.

Obviously Argent, I know Charlie's there.

- Would you rather be there with him than here?

- No.

- You sure?

- Well if I'd rather be there, I'd be there.

- I've heard different that's all.

- From who?

- I've been told that you've still been sleeping with him.

- I have slept with him recently

and I've held my hands up and admitted to that.

- I don't wanna mug myself off and be dating someone

who's sleeping with their ex-boyfriend.

- I don't feel like I have to justify myself

on the second date.

But like I'm here

and that's it really.

Who did you heard from though,

I would love to know, elaborate.

- I don't wanna name drop but it's not--

- Oh I know.

- But they're not- - Who?

- [Lockie] Listen, don't you name drop.

- It was Abi.

- What a grass.

- I'm cool.

- You just wanted to know where you stand,

you don't want to get in some love triangle.

- Wait why did Abi feel the need

to like say that to you though, I don't get it.

- I don't know, she just said

that Charlie come up to her and told her so she just wanted

to let me know. - I reckon Jasmin paid her.

She was like go on, get in there, you know?

You know that Jasmin likes you.

- No. - Oh, are you joking?

- We're friends.

- Friends with benefits?

No, I'm joking.

- Oh look who the grass is now.

- No really, I'm messing about, it's a joke.

Fucking hell.

- Stop swearing.

Hate it when you swear.

- I hate it when you grass people up.

- James, all I said, I think Ferne deserves to know.

I'd wanna know if I was in your position.

- I'm sorry if that was like

sort of disrespectful to ask out.

- I'm glad you could get that off your chest and everything

but I'm actually going to make a move.

So um,

take care.

- [James] Take care.

- Thanks for a nice evening.

- All right darling.

See you later

- Thanks for a nice second date.

- See you. - And I'll see you soon.

- See you later on.

- [Ferne] Bye.

- So by the looks of things

I think date three is off the cards.

♪ Someone starts

♪ Starts the spark

♪ In our bonfire hearts

- Hello.

- Hello you.

All right?

Kiss on the cheek?

- Huh? - Kiss on the cheek?

- Listen I know where you was earlier.

I know you was with Mario earlier.

- I would have told you.

It was an innocent conversation.

We were just, I wanted to sort things out with him.

I just want basically to say like,

we can say hello to each other when were out,

let's be adult about it and it wasn't anything.

- Regardless, like I still think there is stuff

that we need to talk about

whether you went to see him or not.

- Okay.

- I feel like it's pretty obvious

that you don't really know what you want at the minute.

Yeah?

And I feel like everyone's just over complicating everything

like all that pressure about if we were

boyfriend and girlfriend or not

and whether we were seeing each other or what was going on.

To me it didn't mean anything

and the best thing for me to do, I feel,

to simplify that for you is to just

like remove myself from the equation

and let you be on your own.

And the hardest thing about the whole situation

is that I feel like I could make you happy.

- I don't know what to say.

It's hard Tom, because you know how much I like you as well,

it's just I don't know,

maybe I'm letting what other people say

effect me more than I should.

I don't know.

But like when I spoke to Debbie

it hit a nerve and like it's been playing on my mind.

- Look.

Enjoy the rest of your night I suppose.

- Tom don't leave me like that.

- I'm not leaving you like anything babe.

But enjoy the rest of your night, all right?

- Shit.

♪ I've got thick skin

♪ And an elastic heart

♪ But your blade

♪ It might be too sharp

♪ I'm like a rubber band

♪ Until you pull too hard

- Hi. - Hi Jas.

- You all right?

- How are you? - Good.

- [Ferne] You having a good night?

- Yeah, how was your date?

- Oh I left

because I just wasn't feeling it really.

- Yeah.

- But I kind of hoped that we can settle our differences

because I'm quite sick and tired of you

constantly digging me out if I'm honest.

- Really, why am I digging you out?

- I mean the whole saying, "Am I more attractive than her?"

I would never ever say that about another woman.

- Okay.

- I don't understand your jealously,

you're so jealous of me.

It's actually quite funny now, you need to get over it.

Do you know what,

for you to say-- - Can I stop you right there?

- No, for you to say--

- You've mugged yourself off already.

- I couldn't give a flying fuck.

For you to say that you're more attractive than me--

- Why you shouting?

- Because I'm pissed off.

One thing to say, my sex life, whatever-

- Wait, no, no, no.

- One thing to say to you. Can you let me talk?

- No.

I will always be more attractive than you because you've got

a vile, ugly personality. - You're embarrassing yourself

- Boys loan you off.

- No they don't.

You're a mug, all you do is chase after your ex-boyfriend.

- Yeah because I'm bang in love with him

and we are in love with each other and--

- But you're going on other dates.

You're going on dates with other boys

and sleeping with your ex-boyfriend.

- Bye bye you've got an ugly personality.

- Get some self respect darling.

Oh my God.

[fireworks exploding]

♪ You should know what you falling for ♪

♪ Baby do you dare to do this

♪ 'Cause I'm coming at you like a dark horse ♪

[cheering]

- [Sam] All right?

- [Joey] You all right?

- I'm really, really confused.

It's like I can't really explain it.

Obviously like we're getting along

and you're saying friends with feelings

but when I think about it

like what is friends with feelings?

- I'm not saying I don't want to be in a relationship,

I do but I'm just scared Sam.

I'm scared about making that move

and if do that and say I get myself stuck

in the same situation again.

- I know that, obviously, but where we're at now,

it's like you're obviously taking

a lot of control and everything

and I just feel like a bit, everyone's saying to me,

oh he's stringing you along,

he's doing this, he's doing that.

- I'm not stringing you along, Sam.

- No but obviously they don't know

what we talk about and what we like--

- I know, yeah, fair enough.

- People don't know that so it's really hard for me

because obviously I'm being really open and honest

and you're very closed when you're with everyone else

and your friends.

- I can't understand what you want

because what I want is I want us to be happy

and right at this moment in time I'm quite happy, Sam.

This is what I wanted.

I don't think you are.

- Well no, well obviously not because it's just weird like.

- But I'm not saying, Sam listen.

- Like not kissing me is like--

- Yeah but I'm not saying I'm gonna go date other girls

'cause I'm not.

I'm not gonna date no one else.

- But that's even more confusing.

- Yeah because I'm not because I'm not that sort of boy.

I've not been playing games

because we could have easily got together.

- You don't want the relationship status

fair enough, fine.

But then everything that's going off between me and you

behind closed doors it's like

we're a couple, realistically.

And I'm sort of like smiling along with it

but I think actually that's not fair on me

because you're getting the best of both worlds

and it's playing with my feelings,

pulling at my heart strings.

- And that's the last thing I want and I've told you that.

- Okay, so do you want to make a go of things,

or are we just gonna go our separate ways?

♪ I need to be strong

♪ I think I'm losing my mind

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now