Original subtitles

- [Denise Van Outen] This programme contains

some cheesy chat up lines, souped up wheels,

and a new kid on the block.

Some of the tans you see might be fake,

but these people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been given a little zhoosh for your entertainment.

Previously on The Only Way is Essex.

[Arg laughs]

- Why can't you just grow some balls

and say I do love you?

- We both still love each other, Sam,

but because you have so much stress,

it causes me so much stress.

- Oh, this is just going around in circles.

- Don't let her control you this much

and let her bully you into everything.

You're a man, mate.

- I said to him that I still had feelings for him

and I still loved him.

- Let's just be friends, I'm happy for that.

- Yeah, thank you. [smooches]

- I wanna really impress my friends so let me think,

oh I'm gonna go and tell him I slept with Gemma Collins.

- Well look how fuckin' rude that is,

you're a prized dick, mate!

[upbeat music]

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now

[upbeat pop music]

♪ I see this life like a swinging vine ♪

♪ Swing my heart across the line ♪

♪ In my face is flashing signs

♪ Seek it out and ye shall find ♪

- Oh my God, Elliott.

- Where is it? - How powerful is this?

- You got an X6? - Yes.

- What are you trying to say?

So where's mine?

- His and hers.

♪ I feel something so right doing the wrong thing ♪

- Oi, do you like my JE?

- You got your initials on your bed?

- Basically, I didn't think

it was gonna be delivered like this

but when they delivered it I was like oh my God,

that is actually exactly how I wanted it.

- What, is this supposed to be like glasses of champagne?

- They are glasses of champagne

and this is just like trying to be a crown.

I wanted to be like a king.

Do me a favour though Arg,

please, please, please don't tell anyone,

don't blab about that I've got JE on my bed

'cause it's unique I don't want anyone else having it.

- You gonna start getting your stick out?

- Oh I get where you're coming from.

- [Joey] Don't tell anyone.

- I'm a bit of a blabbermouth

and I shouldn't have told you's two

about sleeping with Gemma in Vegas.

She's adamant that it never happened.

Girls don't wanna make themselves look easy, I suppose.

- She must be so embarrassed, mate.

- There's only one person

that 100% knows for sure it happened

and that one person's Bobby.

- Do you know how Elliott's feeling

after obviously Sam completely longed him

really, didn't she?

- [Arg] I haven't spoke to him at all.

- I think 'cause he was, obviously he's meant to be a man

and he's not a man then.

He didn't wanna show her that he actually cared,

so obviously he's gonna be,

I reckon it'll hurt him a little bit.

- It was obvious, she never really liked him.

It was obviously more of a rebound.

But at the end of the day obviously Elliott is a nice kid,

but he absolutely got pied!

So bad. [group laughs]

♪ And it I left tonight would someone be ♪

- Oh I really don't feel well.

- You sound really sexy with that voice.

- Are you serious?

Is it the phlegm or the bogies or the coughing?

- A bit of both.

- Is it turning you on? [giggles]

- Yeah a little bit.

No, I like the hair though, hair looks nice.

- Thank you darling.

I thought I'd go back to the old me.

- I prefer it. - Sophisticated.

- I thought you might wanna come out with me and the boys.

It'll be fun.

- As long as they all don't take the piss out of me

all night 'cause that's usually what happens.

[upbeat music]

- Are you happy? - This is powerful.

[Elliott laughs] This is so me, Elliott.

- I'll tell you what, it's got you written all over it.

I thought it suited me but I think it's got you a bit more.

- Well me and Bobby are gonna go to the Farmers Market

and get some cheese, do you want me to pick you up some?

- Yeah.

- 'Cause Billie's having the cheese and wine party.

- Yeah she's invited me over as well.

- Are you gonna come? - Yeah definitely!

I wanna come over there, obviously the whole Sam situation,

I don't want her to feel awkward at all,

so the quicker we get it out of the way

and see each other again, the better, you know?

- Yeah.

- 'Cause I do think she likes me, but at the end of the day

she needs space and time, I'm happy to give her that.

- Yeah, so are you on the market, Elliott?

- I'm fully fledged on the market, stick me right out there.

- Right, well I'm gonna get touting you out there.

Me and you, we're gonna have a nice glass of wine--

- And get sloshed. - A few different cheeses.

- I'll get you a bottle of wine.

I'm going there to meet Arg to be honest with you.

So he's gonna come, I'm gonna drag him there.

- What!

- I don't want you's to fall out as much.

I know he needs to apologise, and I'll make sure he does.

- It's been on my mind for days and it has really upset me.

If I had have slept with him,

number one he should not open his mouth,

and number two you don't ever turn round

and say sleeping with me is not something he'd be proud of.

- Nah, it's disgusting.

- I just don't feel that I could be friends with him.

That is a very hurtful comment.

It's upset me Elliott.

[slow music]

♪ Staring at the bottom of the glass ♪

♪ Hoping one day you'll make a dream last ♪

♪ But dreams come slow and they go so fast ♪

- Hello, all right?

- Not too bad, you?

- Yeah I'm good.

- How you feeling, you all right?

- Yeah I'm good. - Actually all right thought?

- No, I'm actually okay.

Sorry. - Are you sure?

- Yeah, I'm just intrigued.

- You know I've been friends with you

before I was friends with Charlie.

- Yes. - Way before.

I do care about you, so I do care how you feel.

I'm not the person to give relationship advice,

you know, I fucked up, but at the same time,

I lost something that I proper loved

because I was too stupid to act on it.

I waited too long and lost and I missed out.

You two just shouldn't make the same mistake as me.

I think, and I've told Charlie this,

with you is that when I'm with him

you call him and text him a lot

because you love him so, so much, true?

And you feel like you're losing him

so you text him a lot, true?

- Yeah. - And you think by doing that,

it's gonna make him want to come back.

Whereas I think it does the other thing,

'cause it smothers him and it pushes him away.

- It's so difficult though.

- I'm giving you some sort of man code here

but it's true, all right.

Stop calling him and texting him

and just let him miss you and I think he needs that.

- I kind of feel like if I don't text him

I actually feel like,

"Oh my god he's gonna forget about me."

- There's nothing worse in life

than you thinking you've lost something

and actually having to fight for it.

- But he never has fought for me.

- Yes, but that's because he's not having to, Ferne.

- But I'm so exhausted by it all.

I don't really know what to say

but then I say that probably tonight I'll probably ring him.

- Exactly and I'll be with him.

And the thing is you cutting off from him

will actually give him time to realise

what it is that he wants.

He's not happy.

He loves you so much.

Don't make my mistakes.

- I kind of feel like this is what every girl needs

when they break up from their boyfriend,

they kind of wanna speak to their best mate

and be like, "Oh my god so what's he been saying about me,

and what what do you think's gonna be the future?"

This is like the best thing I could ever wish for.

How've you had to deal with everything recently then?

I mean it must be pretty hard seeing your ex and Tom.

- I look at her and don't feel it anymore.

- I don't believe you.

- I'd say, if I still had feelings for Lucy,

trust me I'd say.

- You're lying to me! - I'm not lying Ferne.

- And you're lying to yourself - I'm not lying.

- It does hurt.

- Have I once said it doesn't hurt?

No it does hurt, but at the same time,

that's fine because it makes her happy.

[upbeat music]

♪ Let your heart swing swing side to side ♪

♪ Swing swing

- Ooh, I'm stuck!

- [Sam] Ugh, it's so good to be doing a workout.

- When doing sit ups, it's all about the control

in the stomach.

- This is helping me release my anger and stress with Joey.

Before I move on with anything or anyone

or even think about another relationship

I just need to completely get over and clear Joey

from my head and everything.

- I really, really like Joey

and I've always supported your decision

if your gonna be with each other

but you know you don't need me to tell you

that you're not right for each other, at the moment anyway.

I think it's good as well 'cause now you can just be single,

enjoy it and just get on with it.

- And with Ferne single, she obviously needs me

as her wing woman, she's got me so.

- What about, are you looking forward to tonight?

- Do you know what, I don't think I've ever been

to a cheese and wine night.

- And what cheese will you be bringing, Babybells?

- Babybells knowing me.

[girls laugh]

[ducks quack]

- So I'm thinking about putting Bella into doggy modelling

'cause I just think she's so beautiful.

- Oh my god I could so see her

on the front of dog food or something.

She is gorgeous.

- How you getting on with Bow round Gemma's house?

- I was expecting him to be slashing

all over the leather sofa

but do you know what, touch wood,

he's not done one thing wrong.

He's either petrified of her

or he's just turned into a good boy.

- That was quite heated wasn't it, with you Gemma and Arg?

- Really heated and I kind of,

I'm a little bit, not nervous about seeing him

but it was a little bit raucous between me and him

because I think he wanted me to defend him

but every time I asked him a question

he couldn't really answer it.

- Was it true?

- Well from my knowledge it's not.

- 'Cause she denied it the first time,

like you know when he said "Oh we had sex in a bush,"

And then she denied that for like 3 weeks

and was like, "Nah it never happened"

and then came out with, "Oh, it did happen."

Well obviously she's quite a horny little madam

and she always goes on about the size of Arg's piece

so I wouldn't be surprised if she went there again.

- Ricky. - Well it's true. [laughs]

[upbeat music]

- [Sam] Yeah, I've had enough now, working out.

- [Lewis] I ain't seen that bum in a little while.

- Oh dear!

What are you doing here?

You all right, [smooches] how are you?

- Caught you mid bend. - I haven't seen you for ages!

- You alright Bil? - Good thank you!

- What's happening, how's things?

- [Billie] Good, you look well!

- [Lewis] How's things with the shop?

- Really good. - Really good.

- [Billie] Really good, busy, yeah.

- So what you doing tonight then, girls, you out?

- Well I'm having a bit of a cheese and wine night

at mine tonight.

- Wow I'm impressed, I'm impressed.

- [Billie] What about you, what are you up to?

- Gotta getting rid of the spare tyre ain't I,

but listen I'm gonna crack on girls

but I'll see you soon all right?

- Okay, we'll see you soon. - Okay. [smooches]

- Enjoy the cheese and wine!

- [smooches] We will! - See you later.

- What the fuck?

- Just as your dramas end, another ex boyfriend appears.

- Oh my God.

- And then there was three.

- No! [laughs] [Billie laughs]

[upbeat music]

- Backwards clock. - Backwards clock,

that's actually perfect for me, innit?

- Keep you on time for everything.

- [Joey] What does it mean, does that just goes backwards?

- No, what do you mean?

You don't know what's wrong with that clock?

- No.

Oh [giggles] I've just clocked!

- What's happening boys?

- Oh look who it is!

[guys play fight]

Oh come on, take your suit off!

- Boys man, you gotta pay for that.

[group laughs]

- Tom, where you been anyway?

- Where you been?

- [Diags] Who've you been seeing recently a lot

and not your mates and no one else?

- Where have you been? [laughs]

- Right listen, listen, listen, listen.

- Go on, we're listening.

- The Meckleburger's coming out with us tonight.

- Oh so you spend all your time with her

and when we go out as mates,

you bring her along with us.

- [Joey] So your gonna bring us out with her.

- Yes, yeah. - Oh, mate!

- Why can't you just be good friends

and just be nice to her? - 'Cause you know what?

As it's me and Joe,

we're probably gonna take the complete piss.

It's not really a good idea bringing her really

if she's your girlfriend.

- She ain't my girlfriend mate.

- At the end of the day,

you can bring your girlfriend, it's fine,

we don't mind if you bring your girlfriend along.

- You know, you love her, so it's fine.

[group laughs]

- The fact that you's two love each other this much,

I'm happy for you. - Yeah I'm happy for you.

- Joey's happy for you,

we want you to bring her along and we'll both--

- All we want you to do is see you smile, come on.

- Thanks, I'm glad you're there for me boys.

[group laughs]

[upbeat music]

- Shut up! [laughs]

Gemma I love it! - Do you love it?

- This has got Gemma Collins written all over it.

- Check out the leather, check out the leather.

- Bit of beige leath, loving life.

- [smooches] Love you.

Shall we go for a spin?

- Oh take me for a spin, babe.

- So Billie's having a cheese and wine party.

- See I only really eat Halloumi and Dairylea.

- Do ya? - Yeah.

- Well listen, I'm like dreading it a bit

'cause like Arg, do you know what I mean,

he's such a knob.

- How are you gonna play that?

- Well I'm just not very happy about it, Bobby.

The thing that's hurt me in all of this,

and I have been hurt, I don't like the way he turned round

and said sleeping with you is not something I'd boast about.

- I really felt like part of me curled up and died

when he said that because there was no respect there.

Whatever you say, there should always be

that nice friendship that I thought you did have.

- That's in my head,

that could actually have affected my sex life

for the rest of my life.

He thinks in his head he's gonna get size 8 bird.

- Deluded, false.

And like you said it's no skin of your minge what he does

but I feel like them comments he made especially,

they really are gonna effect even your friendship.

- The day he said that to me Bobby, our friendship was over.

[upbeat music] ♪ Wish I could stop

♪ And I'm not joking

♪ Drinking too much, I'm socially smoking ♪

♪ Wish I could stop

♪ Start to behave

♪ And then wake up in the morning ♪

- What wine are we getting? - I'm gonna get these ones.

- You're not a wine connoisseur like you think you are.

[laughs]

- I don't know, I'm gonna go for a couple of whites

and a couple of reds

'cause I don't know if the girls drink red, so.

- Whatever yeah, do a bit of both.

- I think I'm gonna go for these ones to be honest with you.

- I mean I don't wanna wind you up,

but there has been a little bit of banter with the boys.

- All right, come on then.

- There's a little bit of a rumour going round

that you had a bit of a custard pie in the face. [laughs]

You gotta laugh at it though ain't you, El?

- It don't bother me, I ain't been pied so.

- You didn't actually get pied at all, did you really?

- Not really it was a bit of fun that's it.

Joey's got jealous over it so he's caused a stink up

and we've calmed it down so.

- Oh, yeah.

- So what's happening with you and Gemma?

Because listen, look she was devastated.

What you said was a stinkin' liberty.

- I know I was a bit harsh. - You need to go and apologise

I'm being serious.

What you said was fucking wrong.

- I'm fuming at her! - I don't care!

- I said something harsh in the heat of the moment

but to be fair to me, El, she was going at me.

- It's not the behaviour of a gentleman.

- [Arg] All right, you're right, you are right.

- You know, you gotta grow up mate, 'cause--

- It's not like me either is it?

- No you're a nice boy but--

- You always seem to have a pop at me.

- I don't know, I just feel like I always have to,

every time I've seen you, you're doing something wrong

and that's what I'm here for.

No one else might tell you but I'll tell you,

every time you go wrong, I'm gonna tell ya!

[happy music]

- If you really want to impress your guests, right,

I suggest they try some chilli cheese.

You either like it or you don't.

- Oh I'm not sure, I don't know if I'm going to try that.

- You can't come have a cheese party

and not try the cheese.

You know I only like cheddar. - Oh, no, no, no sorry.

- [Sam] What's sheep cheese?

- What's sheep cheese? - Does it come from sheep,

the sheep cheese?

- Yes, we make we make the sheep's cheese on the farm.

- What with sheep milk or--?

- Sheep's milk, yes.

- Girlies! - Hello darlings!

- Hello! - Hello! [smooches]

How are you?

- Whoa.

- Do you not like cheese Bob?

- Nah, Halloumi and Dairylea triangles, that's about it.

- Well we know what you'll be bringing then,

I wont be getting the Dairylea's.

- We've gotta get some of that it's amazing.

- I'm too queasy for all this.

- Right I wanna buy a stinking cheese

and stick it in Arg's shoes.

- Yes! - 'Cause I've heard,

I know you girls have invited him 'cause we're all friends

- Yeah. - But I'm just gonna pretend

he's not even there.

- Oh god you won't even believe this earlier.

Me and Manth was in the gym this morning,

guess who walks in?

One of Samantha's ex boyfriends, Lewis Bloor.

- Get out! - No way!

- I haven't seen him in years.

We broke up 3 years ago for whatever reasons

and he is a really lovely charming guy

but it was just so random to see him,

I was like oh my god you are joking and then--

- You was quite shocked.

- Is he coming to the cheese and wine party?

- Well this is it, I feel really bad

'cause I didn't invite him but I might give him a call.

Do you mind if I invite him?

- No obviously I think it'll be a bit weird

but if you wanna invite him, invite him.

- Sam you're on a roll with the men at the minute

let me touch you and get some of your luck.

- Yes, let's rub for luck!

[upbeat music]

[phone rings]

- Hello?

- Hello it's me Billie.

- Billie, how are you darling, all right?

- Yeah, good thank you, you?

- Yeah, yeah, good thanks.

I'm literally just getting in from work, what's up?

- [Billie] You know I'm having

this cheese and wine party tonight.

- Yeah, yeah, you mentioned it.

- Yeah just wondering if you'd wanna come?

- [Lewis] Sam's gonna be there, yeah?

- Yeah, Samantha's gonna be there, yeah it'll be good.

- Well you know how to twist my arm don't you Bil?

- Yeah [giggles] [Lewis chuckles]

Make sure you bring your favourite cheese.

- Right listen I gotta shoot, I'm literally just getting in

but I'll see you later on, all right?

- Okay then, see you later.

Bye! - See you later darling, bye.

[upbeat music]

- I got a text message from Mario.

- From Mario? - Yeah.

- Text you?

- He was like, "Can I meet up with you

"for a chat and a coffee?"

- What happened?

- Basically, Mario decided he wanted

to give me a bit of love advice.

- Wait wait wait wait, is he the expert?

- It was kinda sweet actually.

He said that he'd lost something that he'd really loved,

he just didn't want to see the same with me and Charlie.

He knows Charlie really well

and he knows how much that we love each other

and it would be a shame.

I've tried to shut myself off from him

but that is so difficult to do.

- But do you actually want that?

- His advice to me was to kind of back off a little bit

not text Charlie, not ring him.

- I would take what he says with a pinch of salt.

I agree with him,

the fact that I think you should stop communication

with Charlie but obviously it's really hard.

I know that as well but don't stop communication

to think, what he's saying, oh Charlie's gonna come running,

that's what he's basically saying to you.

You don't want that, you need to stop communication for you.

- You know what, I'm trying to get the gossip.

I was asking him a bit about how he felt about you

and the whole thing with you and Tom and everything.

He was like "I don't, I just want her to be happy,

"I just want her to be happy."

And then he said that it does hurt

seeing you and Tom together and I can imagine it does,

but it just makes me laugh that he can never openly admit

that he's still heartbroken.

What he did say was, "The Lucy that I used to love,

"is like, she doesn't exist anymore, she's changed."

- What?

I've not changed at all, what does that even mean?

I'm not gonna lie I'll always have feelings for him

but too much has happened,

I don't think it'd ever be the same.

- That's I think what he was trying to get across

that you two really did love each other at one point

and you both kinda say that you're never gonna be able

to get back to that, and he just wanted to say,

"I don't want that to happen to you and Charlie."

[pop music] ♪ Ain't nobody

♪ Loves me better than you

[upbeat music]

- Cheers everyone! - Cheers.

- Cheers!

- To fine wine and cheese.

[upbeat music]

- I can smell a rotten cheese

over to the right hand side of me.

[group laughs]

- [Arg] Oh he's showing off now.

- Cheers guys.

[upbeat music]

- Look who I found at the door!

- Hello, you okay? - Hello people!

How you doing, all right?

- Good. [smooches]

- Oh he's lovely.

- Yeah he's not bad on the eye is he?

- I've actually brought round a nice bottle of wine.

This is Château Neuf de Pap.

All right, so do you wanna take that?

- So that's Sam's ex fella.

Do you reckon there's any unfinished business there?

- [Billie] What do you want to drink Lewis?

- Your the host Bil, surprise me.

[upbeat music]

- Hello! - Hey!

- What's happening!

- Mr. and Mrs. P. [group laughs]

- Mr. and Mrs. Pierce.

- Be nice, I told her you'd be nice.

- We are gonna be nice.

- We've got you some drinks.

- You didn't get me a beer did you?

- No, we didn't get you-- - You don't like beer.

Why do you's two look really nervous?

- Nah, she thinks your gonna take the piss out of her.

- Ah, of course we're not going to take the piss out of you!

Why would we do such a thing?

- [Group] Eskimo, eskimo, eskimo, eskimo, eskimo, eskimo!

Yeah!

- Stop it now, that's enough.

[happy music]

- Right boys what we gonna have a little bit of Spanish?

- Mate, you are boring me already with your wine.

- Wine and cheese, you gotta be,

what do we want?

A bit of Spanish or a bit of French?

- Whatever you think. - Gentleman, gentleman.

- How you doing? - Bloor!

- You look like you need a hand!

Pass this one at the end, Elliott.

Château Neuf de Pap 2011 beautiful vintage.

Most people say that wines

sort of get better with age right?

But once you get past 25 years old, the wine, it doesn't rot

but it looses it's flavour.

How old are you again El?

[Elliott groans]

- Right let's crack this then gents, yeah?

Oh, come on Muscles, give it a go.

Yes!

- [Elliot] Here you go mate.

- Do you want me to show you how to taste wine?

- Let's go. - Right so.

- Come on then, son.

[Lewis sips]

[group laughs]

[pop music]

- So are you's two actually together now,

or is this official? - They are, yeah.

- Yep I've heard. - No.

- What I've heard is-- - It's not official is it?

- What Tom told us was that you two are basically going out.

- No basically what it is,

Lucy wants me to be her boyfriend

but she's too scared to ask me.

- What?

- Why don't you just ask Luce?

- We are literally being serious,

we are actually really happy you're out with us tonight.

- We're winding you up, Luce, I promise ya!

[guys laugh]

[pop music]

- Billie I'm sorry, what the hell?

- The reason why I'm upset

is because she's made me seem like a liar.

- What you've done isn't very nice.

You've knocked her confidence.

- I said a few harsh things, yeah.

- You said really harsh things, Arg and you know what?

- And I'll apologise for that.

- When you sleep with a woman and if you sleep with a woman

the last thing you should really do is go around

and tell your mates about it.

- I know this is awkward for you, Bobby

but you know the truth and you know what is right.

Surely you must feel guilty.

No but listen Bobby, you must surely,

knowing we're in circumstances, we're all together

are people are talking,

and you know what I'm saying is the truth.

- My best friend has told me

that she categorically hasn't slept with you in Vegas,

so why would she lie to me? - Can you look me in the eyes?

- I'm looking you in the eye.

- Can you look me in the eyes now

and say to me you don't think I slept with Gemma in Vegas.

Can you do that Bobby?

I'm being serious.

I'm not asking you to turn your back on Gemma,

I'm not asking you to turn against her.

- Good 'cause I never will, she's my best friend.

- I know you never will, I understand that

and I don't want to put you in that situation.

Just give me this this last thing that's all I'm asking.

Did me and Gemma leave you in the room by yourself

and go up into my room?

Yes or no.

- You're having the conversation with the wrong person Arg.

- Bobby did that happen?

- Now it's for you to talk to Gemma.

- Bobby did it happen?

- As I said to you throughout this whole conversation--

- You're not saying we had sex together.

You're not saying we slept together.

Did me and Gemma leave you in the room by yourself

and leave the room and go elsewhere?

That's all I'm asking.

- No.

[pop music] ♪ I can't change

♪ Even if I tried

♪ Even if I wanted to

- So how've you been anyway, you all right?

- Good, you?

- Yeah really good.

Real surprised to be here though.

- Does it feel weird for you to be here?

- Yeah, big time. - Why?

- Not seeing you in 3 years

and then coming to a cheese and wine party?

Of course it does, but then it feels like,

it feels more strange to have spent so much time away.

- To me you have not even changed.

Okay you have lost weight and you look great

but like you are to me exactly the same as you were.

- Cool I'll take that as a compliment.

Well look one thing I'd say this evening, Sam, I mean look,

if anything it would just be nice

to see you having fun a bit more often.

- Agreed, what do you mean a bit more often?

I always have fun.

- It's true, maybe a bit more fun around me then.

[pop music]

- Did you ask Mario to go and speak to Ferne

or did he just do it 'cause he wanted to?

- No, I think he just done it off his own back.

- What fucking cupid relationship advice Mario?

- He wanted to give advice

from mistakes he's made or something.

- I think everyone

would want to see me and Ferne back together

but at the end of the day

we're not getting back together at the moment.

- For me I just think it was giving Ferne false hope

and I don't know why he said what he said.

The only thing I agreed with what he said

is that she should stop texting and calling you

'cause I think that's wrong,

but he said it in a way that if you stop

then he'll come running in the future back

and I just don't think

that he should be saying things like that to her.

- What happens between Charlie and Ferne

is Charlie and Ferne's business

not Mario's business, not your business, not my business.

- I know I agree.

- It's bullshit mate,

he's trying to get involved when he ain't needed.

- Apparently he was saying things like

he didn't want to see what happened between me and him

happen to you's two

'cause he thinks you should be together basically.

I think that's what he wants.

- Oh my god all he's doing is trying to get in your head,

do you not get that?

'Cause he knows Ferne's gonna come and tell you this shit.

I'm gonna get a drink.

- [sighs] Oh God.

He's pissed off.

- Mario's going to Ferne,

"I don't want to see what happened between me and Lucy

"happen to you and Charlie."

- Why?

- That's what I mean, why's he saying that?

What's it got to do with Mario?

I don't get it.

- Are they comparing notes on how they got dumped?

- I don't fucking know.

All he's trying to do is get in Lucy's head, mate.

[pop music]

- I have never, that's the game right?

- I have never been paralytic drunk in Sugar Hut.

- Blatantly. - So you drink if you have,

basically, yeah?

- You drink if you have. - Come on we've all been there

- Yeah, we've all been there of course.

- I have never slept with anyone in Las Vegas.

- You had better sip your drink darling. [laughs]

- [Lewis] Right.

- I'm gonna throw it out there,

I think Arg deserves to give Gemma an apology

for the way he spoke to her.

- Here fucking here.

You absolutely discriminating downright rude idiot.

- Thank you Ferne. - Be a man Arg.

- You know what I'm apologising.

I apologise for,

right let me think what I'm apologising for.

I will apologise for the way

that I said something that was a bit harsh.

I'm not apologising for saying the fact

that we slept together in Vegas

because, you know, we both know it did happen.

[Gemma sighs] Anyway.

Is there anything you want to say Gemma?

- Nothing.

You've upset me.

- I know I've upset you and I apologise

for saying the fact that I wouldn't boast or--

- You did boast!

- Can I just say-- - No, no, no.

Let me say one thing.

- Can I just say, do you feel whether it happened or not,

do you feel that you putting it out there

and you telling everyone is worth having Gemma

basically not wanna talk to you again?

- Everyone knows, it's not, you know--

- Why don't you look at Gemma when you're talking, mate?

- There's good things and bad things about me,

everyone knows that.

I can be a bit of a gossip, I have got a big mouth

and I'm terrible at keeping secrets.

I let you down and I opened my mouth.

If you wanna deny it out of reasons,

maybe you're embarrassed because you feel easy

even though you shouldn't, then that's up to you but--

- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- All I'm saying, a true gent never tells

so even if you did, you would never tell.

- Gemma you can deny it all you want,

it doesn't matter 'cause it doesn't bother me

so what so what I wanna do is apologise

for opening my mouth, for telling everyone.

I should never have opened my mouth,

I should've kept it a secret and I'm sorry for that

and now if you are, I'm more than willing to drop it.

- I'm sure you are, but I'm not.

- I think it's pathetic and I don't really wanna be

in the company of two people that can look at me in the face

both knowing exactly what's happened and you know denying It

and making me seem like a liar

so I think I've had enough.

See you's all later.

[intense music]

[upbeat music]

- So have you calmed down now after your little strop?

- What little strop?

- You did! [laughs]

- No I didn't, I just don't wanna sit there

talking about your ex boyfriend talking a load of shit,

trying to play cupid when it ain't needed.

- And then you stropped off.

- I didn't strop off.

- It's okay, baby.

- Well I don't know, it's just,

I just think the whole situation is pretty pathetic,

to be fair.

- To be honest with you,

the whole thing's confused me a little bit as well

but whatever, let him get on with it.

- It's not the same, mate is it?

- No.

- I think he's just doing it

'cause he knows she's gonna feed it back to you

and it's gonna get in your head,

so I can't be arsed to sit there and listen to that shit.

- I know, just forget about it.

[pop music]

- How's things, all right?

- What's happened to your voice?

- I know, I feel a bit sore. - Is it the cheese?

- It might have been yeah. - Are you drunk?

- A little bit, yeah.

- Yeah, I think-- - Are you?

- [Sam] Mmm, tipsy.

- That's good.

- It's not all good is it, 'cause I don't feel like it is.

- I don't feel too awkward at all, do you?

- No.

Cheers. - Cheers.

So how's the situation with Joey?

- Fine.

- Define fine.

- Are you actually asking me this question?

- Yeah.

- The whole situation is just so confusing like just--

- It's only confusing if you want it to be confusing.

I don't feel like he's being honest with his feelings.

I just feel like he's being a bit juvenile

with his approach.

- He's definitely not being honest

and I know that for a fact.

- I don't want to see him hold you back

if you wanna move on again,

and I think that you need to understand how you feel,

and concentrate on how you actually feel about things

'cause I think at the moment in time,

you only care about how he feels

and you're maybe lying about that.

So you're never gonna be able to move on

and at the same time he's sitting behind you laughing

and maybe enjoying himself

thinking that he's got you wrapped round his little finger.

At the end of the day if that's the kind of guy

that you wanna be with, if you like to get in a scooter,

a bit of cherry aid and a bit of Twister,

that's your kind of guy, that's fine.

I'm a bit more mature,

I wanna go out for a meal and a glass of wine,

that's the type of guy I am.

The games he's playing with you,

he's messing your head about and it's not fair.

- It's not. - It's not fair on you.

I don't wanna see you upset over it all.

- What you're saying in hindsight about Joe is true,

it is I'm not going to disagree with you.

- Then why don't you tell him that?

[upbeat music]